~~~~AU SS~~~~

Severus was not looking forward to this meal whatsoever. He had done a lot of horrific things in his life and yet telling Harry he had revoked his permission slip to go to Hogsmeade was proving to be just as awful as any of them.

It was the Wednesday before what should have been Harry's very first Hogsmeade weekend at Hogwarts, however with Sirius Black still on the loose, he didn't feel it would be safe for his 13-year old son to be off of the school grounds essentially unsupervised. To break the news, he had invited Harry for dinner in their quarters in hopes of lessening the expected explosive response.

"Harry," he started carefully once they'd made it halfway through dinner and a handful of other innocuous topics, "there's something we need to discuss."

Picking up on the ominous atmosphere that spread throughout the room, Harry audibly swallowed his food and asked, "What's going on Severus?"

"I've informed Professor McGonagall that I need to rescind my permission for you to go to Hogsmeade until further notice."

There was a split second where he knew Harry hadn't fully understood what he had said or the implications of it, but once that moment passed the Gryffindor was furious.

"You can't do that!" Harry yelled expectantly.

Severus tried to remain calm. While there were many times he and Harry did not see eye-to-eye on certain issues - such as his choice of electives for this year - they very rarely had explosive arguments.

"Actually, I absolutely can do exactly that. It's my responsibility to look out for your best interest and safety," the professor calmly explained.

"What do you think is realistically going to happen?!" Harry tried arguing from a different angle, "It's not like no one will notice an escaped convict roaming around Hogsmeade! He won't be able to get to me!"

"I can think of probably at least a half dozen different ways someone could easily get you undetected from Hogsmeade."

Harry didn't know that Severus was hesitant to sign the permission slip in the first place exactly for those specific reasons. In the end, he had decided Harry could not live his life in constant fear, so he had signed it. Now through, Black was getting too close and while Severus didn't think the man was smart enough to have considered even a fraction of the ways Severus thought to get to Harry, the fact was he had been smart enough to escape Azkaban in the first place so he couldn't be completely dismissed. There was also the Lupin connection to consider and though he couldn't prove it, it seemed too coincidental that the year the werewolf was hired as a defense teacher is the same year Black was out looking for Harry. Severus did not believe in consequences.

"That's not fair!" Harry yelled while standing up from the kitchen table and starting to pace; a habit he had clearly picked up from Severus in the past year and a half.

"I happen to consider your life a bit more important than a trip to Hogsmeade," Severus rationalized to the irate teenager. "Plus, you've been to Hogsmeade plenty of times with me previously."

Each year before school commenced - specifically from the Christmas and Easter holidays - Severus had taken a quick trip to Hogsmeade to visit the local apothecary and restock his potions inventory. Last year, Harry accompanied him on both occasions. Unlike his classmates, this would not be Harry's first time visiting the village, but his first time on the school sanctioned trip.

"It's not just about getting to go to Hogsmeade and you know it," Harry accused, still angry with Severus.

"Of course I know that. Which is why I didn't even try to compromise by offering to attend as your chaperone."

The professor almost laughed at Harry's horrified face. No matter how comfortable they had become with each other, Harry's friend's - specifically Neville Longbottom for good reasons - were still skittish around the professor.

"Whatever," Harry said, the one word that irked Severus more than anything else, while sitting back down to finish his dinner, face still scowling. The rest of dinner was eaten in complete silence.

By Saturday afternoon - and the day of the Hogsmeade trip - Harry still had not spoken a single word to Severus, except to grudgingly answer questions in Potions class. Even the detention the Gryffindor earned earlier in the week was served on Friday night in complete silence. While Severus enjoyed how clean his cauldrons had gotten from Harry's angry cleaning, he would have preferred to have his son speaking to him. It was the longest they'd gone angry with each other.

Severus was in the sitting room marking papers when he heard the door to their quarters open.

"Everything alright?" He called out not even lifting his head, knowing it had to be Harry; he'd likely followed the professor after seeing each other when he stopped by Lupin's office to deliver the Wolfsbane potion. Not only that, outside of Harry, Albus and Poppy were the only other people who had access to enter his quarters, but neither would enter unannounced unless there was an emergency.

Harry walked sullenly into the room and flopped onto the sofa. He was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and his red Gryffindor jumper.

"I'm sorry Severus," the teen said quietly.

Lifting his head, the professor met Harry's emerald eyes and could see the sincerity within them, but stayed silent.

"I know you are trying to keep me safe. Ron, Fred, and George all said Mrs. Weasley almost did the same thing for them this year. I guess it's what parents do." Harry paused then added, "I shouldn't have acted the way I did.

"Apology accepted," Severus placed the essay on Polyjuice Potion he was marking onto the table in front of him. He leaned over with his arms resting on his knees facing his son, "And Harry... Even when you can't see it or understand it, I am trying to keep you safe... Always."

~~~~HP~~~~

Harry tossed and turned all night, dreaming of the vision he had during dinner with Snape and Malfoy.

In the forest, everyone was in a tight circle around their prisoner. The only light came from the torches surrounding them, casting a scary orange glow and long shadows over the tattered body. The Dark Lord sat on a raised dais overlooking his followers who were all dressed in black with their masks in place; all except their newest recruit, his grey eyes frantically searching around him...

Harry twitched in his bed trying to escape from what he knew was coming up.

"Today we add an important member to our ranks," The Dark Lord laughed, calling the blonde forward. The teen appeared arrogant, something that would be rectified quickly.

Harry's heart rate increased and his breathing became shallow as sweat started beading up across his body. His focus was on the redhead in the middle of the circle as a variety of curses and hexes were being thrown at him, each more damaging then the last.

"Incarcerous!" So he couldn't even attempt to fight back.

"...confringo..."

"Diffindo..."

" Cruico!"

" Incendio... incendio duo."

" Cruico!"

Harry wanted it to end. He wanted to wake up, knowing it was a nightmare from the vision. This had already happened and, no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to save the man.

"It is time Draco," he heard Voldemort call. "Kill him."

"...Avada Kedavra!" But nothing happened. Malfoy's wand hand started to shake.

"Again," the evil voice of Voldemort rang through the laughter of his followers after Malfoy's failed killing curse.

Adjusting his stance and lifting his wand higher, the blonde Slytherin called out again, "Avada Kedavra!"

Still, there was no green light emitted from the end of his Hawthorne wand. His eyes were full of fear after his two failed attempts to kill his target.

In his bed Harry was screaming, but no one could hear him because of his well casted unintentional silencing spell. He was all alone.

"Approach Draco," the evil dark wizard called. The other Death Eaters went silent; only the crunching of the failed teen's steps through the forest could be heard. He stood confident in front of the Dark Lord and then bowed to kiss the hem of his robes.

"Cruico!" Voldemort casted, hitting Malfoy with his first ever Cruciatus curse. Malfoy fell to the ground writhing in pain trying to hold onto his dignity, but in the end his screams were loud and strained.

"Stand," demanded the serpentine wizard. Still trembling, the blonde Slytherin stood with a surprising air of confidence around him. Voldemort then pointed his wand towards the teenage Slytherin who closed his eyes in preparation of another Cruciatus curse.

"Avada Kedavra!" A green light shot out of the dark wizard's wand, over Malfoy's shoulder, and landed squarely on Charlie Weasley's chest.

Voldemort then grasped Malfoy's left arm and slashed open the sleeve, not bothered at all by the blood seeping from the long cut he'd also made in the blonde's arm. Placing the tip of his yew wand to the pale, bloody forearm of Draco Malfoy, his sinister smile could be seen by all the moment the dark mark appeared, marking his newest follower.

"Welcome to our ranks Draco Malfoy!"

Harry bolted upright and immediately ran to the lavatory just in time as he tried to expel whatever he could into the loo, but having missed dinner because of the vision, only the acid bile left in his otherwise empty stomach came out. Shaking, he leaned back against the bathtub trying to calm his breathing so he would not vomit again. He'd have enough of that to deal with later today. Somehow revisiting the vision in his nightmare seemed more vivid than when he had seen it originally the night before.

Once he had some control over himself and his stomach was no longer cramping, he slowly made his way to his bedroom where he fell back into his bed. The clock showed it was already almost seven in the morning, but he felt completely drained. Between the vision, realizing that Malfoy contributed directly to Charlie's death - even if he didn't cast the final killing curse - and the fact that Snape knew the whole time between the initiation and when Charlie's body was found, he felt like he was losing control of himself. It was simply too much for him to try to process through.

Healer Smithe would be arriving at eight, which gave the Gryffindor over an hour to wait out before his arrival and the awful restart of chemotherapy. The absolute last thing he wanted to do today was restart his two hell weeks of treatments, but he summoned all the resolve he could and got back out of bed to get ready. Grabbing his favorite pair of pyjamas, which he specifically left unused for today, he went to take a shower knowing it was likely the last chance to easily take one for at least the next couple of days.

He walked quietly into the bathroom so Snape would not know he was awake yet, and saw his reflection in the mirror. During the last two weeks, even though he wasn't nauseous as often because he only had chemo on Saturdays, he also wasn't necessarily eating any more in quantity of food or more often and it was definitely showing. He had no idea how much he currently weighed - and didn't want to find out - but it had to be far lower than what was healthy for his age and height. The body staring back at him was skeletal and drawn, looking almost nothing like him at all. His eyes seemed permanently marked with his exhaustion - sunken in and dull with dark circles underneath like shadows that never went away. Turning away from the reflection he barely recognized, he went to shower.

With only fifteen minutes to spare before his healer arrived, Harry quietly walked to the kitchen, happy to see no indication of Snape anywhere. Upon entering the kitchen, there was a bowl of porridge with fruit and granola - his usual pre-chemo breakfast - a glass of orange juice along with a glass of water, and the small cup of his morning medication. With all of that was a note:

Harry,

I was needed early this morning in the hospital wing and will likely be there until this afternoon. Professor McGonagall will be here before Healer Smithe arrives.

Be sure to eat well this morning as you did not eat any dinner last night.

S.S.

Harry crumpled the letter and sat down to start eating. In the end he was getting pawned off to Professor McGonagall; of course Snape's note said he was needed in the hospital wing so he guessed that was a good reason for the sudden change, but it still didn't help his sour mood. Maybe it had to do with Ginny? What if something bad happened to her last night? He didn't think he could handle much more, between the vision, the nightmare, his current unsure feelings about Snape, and starting the two long weeks of chemotherapy today; it just never seemed to end.

"Harry?"

The young wizard was finishing up his breakfast when he heard Professor McGonagall call out to him having just arrived through the floo. It was almost time.

"In the kitchen," he said but he was sure she could not have heard him given how raw his voice sounded.

Whether she could hear him or not, his transfiguration professor and current guardian eventually found him a few moments later, walking into the kitchen in her normal green robes and her hair tied neatly up in a tight bun. She had a sympathetic face which told him she knew today was going to be a bad one.

"There you are," she lectured. "Professor Snape asked that I stop by for your treatments this morning as he is needed at the hospital wing."

"Yeah," Harry mumbled holding up the crumpled paper, "I saw that. Is it Ginny?"

Not that the professor was likely to tell him the truth, but before she could reply, the floo roared to life again announcing the arrival of Healer Smithe.

"We'll talk about this later Harry," Professor McGonagall said reassuringly, "Let's get you started."

This would be the first time his Head of House would be overseeing the start of his actual treatment and Harry couldn't help feeling embarrassed over it. Snape was still needed to help hold Harry still during the Intrathecal procedure and now that would fall to the transfiguration professor. Perhaps he could just try harder to sit still for it to save himself the awkwardness that was sure to be felt by them all.

"Hello Harry," Healer Smithe said in a voice far from his normal bubbly personality. Harry frowned, while he hadn't seen his healer since last Saturday, he questioned to himself why the man seemed to be feeling down today. Maybe it was a bad day for everyone overall?

"Good morning," Harry said a little warily; deep down hoping the somber attitude had nothing to do with Ginny. He was going to ask if everything was ok, but at the last minute decided he didn't want to know right before he needed to sit still to allow a giant needle into his spinal cord. Even after all the times he has had this done to him, he still shivered at the visual of it.

The healer was walking Professor McGonagall through what to expect at the same time he took the required blood sample. Then he started the antiemetic through his port to drip while they waited for him to go back to run the blood work. Harry didn't anticipate any issues with it today.

"What does that do?" Professor McGonagall asked, genuinely curious, when they were sitting waiting for the healer to return. She was pointing to the bag of medication.

"It's to help with the nausea," Harry said, not meeting her eyes; then mumbled, "it doesn't work very well though."

They sat in an odd silence and his mind began to wander back to when he started this whole process with Snape. He didn't remember it ever feeling so awkward. If anything, he should have been more comfortable with Professor McGonagall than he ever was with Snape. She was his Head of House after all and until this summer, he had a far better relationship with her than he had with the defense professor. Now, she was his guardian and yet he felt like they barely knew each other.

"I'm sorry I missed my lesson yesterday," he said legitimately sorry because not only would it be difficult to make up, but he hated to disrespect Professor McGonagall who worked so hard to put his schedule together.

"That ok Harry," she patted his leg reassuringly. "Remember the schedule is fluid based on how you're feeling. Miss. Granger has said you've done fantastic in her tutoring, so I doubt you'll be too far behind next week."

Harry nodded. Not being able to use magic - and studying theory only - meant he didn't have much to work on for Transfiguration anyway so he did believe his professor about staying caught up.

"Severus told me about before," she said cryptically, hoping to draw Harry out of the negative mental state he was in.

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion, "Before what?"

"The other memories he has. The other life with the two of you," while the two professors had not discussed the other reality since Snape had originally told her, it weighed on her mind whenever she saw Snape and Harry together. She was happy they had been able to help one another - to become a family - and it appeared they were on their way down the same path here.

"Oh," Harry flatly replied. This really wasn't the best time to talk about it, but she couldn't know that, so Harry didn't want to take his anger out on her. "What did he say about it?"

"He explained what happened there, the adoption I mean. I imagine it would have been good for both of you," she let a small smile creep over her face to show her approval of it to her young lion.

He wanted to talk to someone about how he was feeling, but he didn't know where to start. Closing his eyes he asked, "Do you think he regrets it?"

"The adoption? Absolutely not. And I know for a fact he'll do anything in his power to keep you healthy and safe now, even if you aren't his son here," Professor McGonagall didn't hesitate for a second in answering, something that didn't go unnoticed by Harry.

Harry simply nodded; feeling confused about so many different things at the moment and they were all running rampant in his head. Just as he was about to ask about it again, the floo roared and Healer Smithe stepped out with Madam Pomfrey shortly joining him.

"Everything was looking good Harry," he said, still more somber than Harry would have liked to hear. "Madam Pomfrey will be the one administering your Intrathecal today since she's helped me before, but never done one herself. I'd like to walk her through it just in case she needs to perform it at some point without me present."

Harry didn't like the sound of that one bit, why would his healer ever expect not to be here for something like this. It wasn't that he didn't trust the medi-witch. After all, she's healed him plenty of times in the past school years and she's been part of his chemo team for most of the summer, but it felt almost too personal to have her do this procedure.

"Oh, erm... Ok," he finally said, laying down on the exam table that had been transfigured from the sofa specifically for the IT to be done in Snape's quarters.

The healer walked Madam Pomfrey through setting up for the procedure - explaining the syringe they use which was already prefilled with the correct dosage of his chemotherapy medication, the antiseptic used to clean the site, the numbing agent which makes the skin and muscle area numb, but unfortunately doesn't help down into the spinal cavity. Harry looked over at Professor McGonagall who was carefully watching each step the healer went through as well as reading the medication bottles and bags. Harry couldn't think of why she would do such a thing because it wasn't like she would know any of the medication names or what they did.

When it came time for the actual procedure, Harry was laying on his left side with his knees drawn up to his chest and his neck as far down as it could go. Professor McGonagall stood in front of him helping to hold his head and legs with Madam Pomfrey and Healer Smithe behind him. He closed his eyes and tried to bring up his Occlumency forest, surprising himself at how quickly he could end up high above the canopy. He could smell the trees and the grass, feel the wind softly brushing across his face.

"Harry? Are you ok?"

Opening his eyes, Harry was now laying flat on his back, as was customary at the end of Intrathecal, and Professor McGonagall looking down at him from above his head.

"Are you alright Harry?" His guardian asked again.

Harry shook his head clear, "Sorry professor. I was, erm..." he paused questioning to himself if she was supposed to know about the Occlumency, "...meditating."

"Oh that's a very good habit to have," she sighed in relief patting his shoulder. "You did great Harry."

"Thanks," Harry said then immediately felt silly for such a response.

After laying flat for twenty minutes, Professor McGonagall re-transfigured the exam table back to the comfortable sofa and Harry laid down ready to fall back asleep after his restless sleep the night before.

In addition to the Intrathecal Madam Pomfrey was also the one setting up his extra IV of morphine - because he was getting the medication that caused the stomach pain the first time - and his regular chemo through his port. With Healer Smithe still in the sitting room, Harry questioned to himself why the medi-witch was doing all the work. Maybe the healer was sick and didn't want Harry to catch it? But then Harry would have hoped he would not have come in the first place; Madam Pomfrey was more than capable of starting the morphine and chemotherapy alone.

"Have you seen him today?" Harry asked once it was only Harry and Professor McGonagall left in the room.

"This morning yes," she said knowing automatically he was talking about Snape, "he walked me through all of your procedures and medications to make sure you are getting the correct ones at the right dosages."

That's an odd thing to do.

"Did he say anything about..." Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"About you?" She raised her eyebrows in a way only Professor McGonagall could, "of course he did. He said you would probably sleep this morning since you were likely up most of the night last night and that you may feel a little withdrawn p."

The young wizard's heart pulled. This was so much harder than he thought it would be.

"And he regrets he cannot be here," she finished, sensing her young lion's uneasiness.

"He does?" Harry asked feeling a small flame of hope fill him; maybe everything wasn't ruined.

"Of course he does, Harry," the professor said, reaching over and squeezing his hand, "whether he'll admit to it or not, he cares very much about you. Otherwise I doubt he'd be doing all of this for you."

There was another uncomfortable silence over the conversation as he thought about the implications of what she'd just said. If he wanted, he could choose to ignore what happened yesterday and Snape would likely follow his lead. It was like he had control for once in his life, he could choose to walk away from his anger or he could choose to let it consume him.

"It's Ginny, isn't it?"

There was a pregnant pause as Harry watched his guardian very carefully, trying to ignore the sympathy in her eyes.

"They're working on breaking the curse. You don't need to worry yourself with that situation right now, just try to rest."

But Harry couldn't rest. As with the first time he started consolidation, he was hit hard with the triple medications after being off for a week. Professor McGonagall did her best trying to help Harry, but he found himself getting frustrated with her more easily than he had with Snape. Somehow he came full circle; in all this time, Snape had intuitively known what he needed and when he needed it and that complicated his decision in all of this even further.

By the time Madam Pomfrey came back four hours after starting the second chemo line - Healer Smithe did not accompany her this time - Harry could barely move from the sofa due to the pain and nausea even with the IV of morphine.

"Is this a normal reaction Poppy?" Professor McGonagall asked the matron as she rubbed small circles around Harry's back.

"Unfortunately he's had a wide range of reactions to the medications" the medi-witch explained gravely, "so it's hard to say what is normal for him."

~~~~SS~~~~

Severus was sitting in Poppy's office, practically held hostage, while Bill Weasley had been feverishly working on his latest attempt to break the curse from his sister. The defense professor had been needed this morning to help work through several bits of the dark magic they managed to run into early on in the process. Now he was asked to stay as a Potions Master to help quickly assess and administer any potions should they be quickly needed. He was completely dumbfounded as to why Slughorn was not overseeing the second part of this long, tedious process as the current Potions Master of Hogwarts, however he suspected his own involvement in the Order had something to do with it.

Of course, his heart was only halfway in the present, the rest was still in his quarters worrying about Harry. Even though Harry had known in principle that the professor knew about Charlie's death before he did, the vision he received last night confirmed how long he had known about it. This could break the trust he had built with the young wizard and he hated himself for causing it.

And then he had to consider the timing of the vision. This occurring right before Harry started his second round of consolidation chemotherapy could not be a coincidence. This was an attack that could drive them apart and isolate Harry during a time he needed Severus the most, not too unlike finding Charlie Weasley's body to begin with, before his last consolidation round. He was far too practical to believe in coincidences and this would have been the second coincidence in a month. It was basically psychological warfare and if it was true, it confirmed without a doubt there was someone close working against them.

As he was standing up to storm out of the office, Albus walked in with a concerning look upon his face.

"It seems this process is taking quite a bit longer than expected," the headmaster explained peering with sad eyes out the window, separating them from where Bill Weasley was working.

"Am I actually needed right here?" Severus asked frustrated. "There is a floo in this office that happens to be connected to my quarters. I could be here in a moment's notice if you need me."

"Unfortunately, it is to Miss. Weasley's best interest to have everyone in place for the fastest response possible," Albus sat down at Poppy's desk across from Severus. "We have no idea what kind of condition she will wake up in."

"Then you need to get Slughorn here in my place," he demanded, "I'm needed elsewhere."

Albus narrowed his blue eyes behind his half-moon spectacles, "What is on your mind Severus?"

"We have a leak," he said pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm absolutely positive of it this time."

Albus stood again, holding his hands behind his back, "How sure?"

"If I'm wrong, I'll take Trelawney for butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks," it may have been a bit dramatic, but it got his point across without any further question. "I need to get back to my quarters and make sure Harry is alright. I'll fill you in once all of this is over."

Severus gestured towards the main hospital wing where Bill Weasley was working on Ginny with Molly and Arthur present.

"Of course my boy," the headmaster said quietly looking between his professor and the hospital wing. "I'll call Horace immediately, you keep Harry safe."

Severus didn't say another word, simply threw down the floo powder and called out "Severus Snape's Quarters" all the while questioning if he and Harry would come out of this one intact.

The moment he stepped into his quarters, he knew something was off. Harry would have finished his chemotherapy about an hour ago and the teen liked to lay on the sofa afterwards; yet coming into the room he was not there. The next logical place to look was his bedroom which, thinking twice about it, made sense because he knew Harry could not have slept well last night after everything that had happened.

However, just before entering Harry's bedroom, he heard the sound of vomiting from the bathroom; the last logical place for him to be.

"It's ok Harry," he heard Minerva say to her young ward. Severus went back to the kitchen summoning a glass and then pouring some ginger ale into it. It wouldn't completely help in the long run, but with so few things they could actually do to ease the effects, he was going to try everything he had.

As expected, Harry was leaning against the side of the loo in his favorite green - but not Slytherin green - pyjamas with Minerva kneeling beside him. She had her hand on his back providing a little support for her Gryffindor.

"Severus," she called out when she heard the door open turning towards him with a murderous look in her eyes. "Are you certain this is helping him and not making him worse?"

"Trust me this is the best way to cure him," the defense professor said, placing the glass by the sink and removing his outer robes. He helped Minerva up off the floor, taking her place kneeling besides Harry, and then held the glass to Harry's lips to help the Gryffindor take a sip. Harry was exhausted, leaning all his weight against Severus and didn't seem to notice the change of caretaker now next to him.

"This is more severe than the other times I've been here with him, Severus," she said, voice full of worry.

He ran a wet flannel across Harry's forehead and the back of his neck, just as the young wizard lurched forward to vomit once again into the loo basin. This time though, when he finished and pulled away, Severus noticed small black droplets within the basin. He lifted his Occlumency shields back to being fully functional, to help remain calm.

"All his medications and dosages were correct?" the younger professor asked while coaxing Harry up off the cold floor and started walking back to his bed, Minerva following close behind with his IV. Harry hardly noticed them moving, only small moans escaping from his mouth at odd intervals.

"Of course, Severus," she said wringing her hands tightly on the stand, "everything matched the parchment you gave me."

The man let out the breath he'd been holding; at least he could be sure Harry had received the correct dosages and had not been poisoned. The teen was practically sleeping as he laid Harry down into his bed, covering his small body with the bedspread. Hopefully he would be able to sleep off some of the side effects this time.

Severus immediately contacted Albus to let him know he would be staying in his quarters for the rest of the day because Harry was having a rough reaction to the chemotherapy. He and Minerva then settled into Harry's room where they played several games of wizard's chess to pass the time. Harry had another round of vomiting, but since the Gryffindor was exhausted he fell back asleep directly afterwards. Severus tried to ignore the cautious look from his colleague's eyes that were screaming to him that something had to be wrong. Unfortunately, he knew this was not much different than the other times Harry had been sick from chemotherapy.

Right before dinner Poppy came back to swap the bags of morphine. Being as observant as he was, it did not go unnoticed that Alton had not been around much.

"Was Alton here at all today?" Severus asked as he finished dinner with Minerva in his kitchen. Harry had managed to fall into a more restful sleep with the next dose morphine and she insisted staying with him in case he needed her assistance.

"He walked Poppy through the procedure this morning... The one that was done in his back," she shook her head as if trying to do away with that image permanently, "but then Poppy took over for the rest of it today."

It wasn't abnormal for the healer not to be present during all the treatments, he had other patients to see as he not so nicely lectured Severus about when the professor brought up his availability last time, but it was an observation he wanted to keep in the forefront of his mind.

He was startled when Albus walked into the kitchen, having not heard the floo roar, showing how distracted he had been lately. No one should ever be able to sneak up on him, especially when he was in his own quarters. He gestured for them all to head out to the sitting room where any conversation between the three of them would be more comfortable.

"Well?" Severus asked his long-time mentor once they were all seated in the sitting room; Severus and Albus on the two armchairs and Minerva on what was now referred to as "Harry's Sofa."

"Poppy expects a full recovery," the headmaster said, sounding exhausted. "Miss. Weasley will remain secluded in the hospital wing until further notice until she's in a more stable condition. She could be ready to rejoin classes as early as October, but we will not rush it."

"Oh thank Merlin," Minerva said, placing her hand over her heart. At least one of her missing students would be back to help bring about some sense of normalcy to their house. The Gryffindor tower had been taking the loss of their two housemates very hard this week.

"As to your missive Severus," Albus continued, "I believe I've found something that might be of interest to you."

Albus handed Severus a book he hadn't seen the headmaster carrying, Magical Theory vol. IV - The Life and Death of the Magical Core, with a bookmark placed on page 442.

Severus looked it over as Albus continued, "It is my belief that Harry is experiencing a physical manifestation to his magical core depleting. It would explain why he's having such a violent reaction to the muggle medications. If you will Severus."

The defense professor lifted his head to meet the headmaster's eyes, then went back to the book and read out loud:

The death of the magical core can be a painful event and as such, the witch or wizard would be aware of its occurrence. When placed in a situation that can cause explicit depletion to the magical core in a short period of time, the witch or wizard will experience episodes of increasing discomfort or pain as a defense mechanism to prevent the erasing of one's magical signature...

Minerva gasped covering her mouth with her trembling hand. They had all known Harry could lose his magic from it continuously trying to cure the side effects due to the chemotherapy medication - it was more probable than not that he would lose at least some of it - however to have it not only written clear as day in front of them, but to also know it would be painful for Harry, was almost too much to bear.

Severus stood up and started pacing across his sitting room thinking rapidly about how he could fix this before picking up a book from the table and throwing it across the room. The book hit the wall with a loud bang and neither of the other occupants made a sound. There was nothing he could do to fix this and worse, when the pain eventually stopped coming, it would mean Harry's magical core was gone. They were in a lose-lose situation.

"So what do we do?" Minerva was the first to speak, her voice quivering gently.

The defense professor turned around, the pain in his eyes unable to be hidden behind his already full Occlumency shields, "We keep him as comfortable as we can. Unfortunately, there's not much else we can do; he needs the chemotherapy to kill off the cancer cells or he'll die. It's that simple."

Severus had been locked away in his office; Albus and Minerva having left shortly after their discovery of Harry's magical core issue. For a small moment he was half tempted to simply take Harry back to Spinner's End and forget all about the school and people here, but they both needed the protection Hogwarts was providing. Then of course, he also was not sure Harry ever wanted to speak to him again. Using his anxiety as a source of energy, he completely ignored the plethora of marking he still had to complete and started notating every thing that related to Harry's cancer, his magic, the Dark Lord, the Burrow attack, and the vision attack. If there was a connection to be made, he was hell bent on finding it.

To keep himself organized, he started writing down what he knew: there was a high probability Voldemort had, in some way, picked up Harry's cancer by using his blood in the resurrection ritual, but they couldn't do anything with that and it did not appear like the megalomaniac was days away from dying as he should have been; Harry's severe reaction to the chemotherapy is in part due to his magic fighting against being erased, so not only does that prove he's losing his magic, but that it will be a painful process; yet Harry is doing unintentional magic - wandless and nonverbal - showing great use of his magic instead of losing it; and then there was the leak within his medical team, someone who knows not only when Harry is getting his chemotherapy, but how he's been reacting to it and knowing that was the time to attack. The list of people who would know this information was so small and had gotten smaller since Charlie Weasley's death.

All of those thoughts were immediately tabled when the sphere he'd been trying to will to life, glowed yellow - not an urgent call, but still one indicating that Harry needed assistance. He vanished the papers and books to the cabinet for safe keeping and quickly left his office for Harry's bedroom.

Tentatively and nervously, more so than he'd been recently, he opened the door. Harry was sitting up in bed staring down idly at the sphere in his hands that he had recently squeezed; as if he had been contemplating if he should have done such a thing. As if he might regret the fact that he squeezed it.

"Are you alright Harry?" Severus asked, more than a little confused. Nothing seemed immediately wrong with the teen in front of him.

"I think whatever that was has finally passed," Harry said barely making eye contact. "That was a bad one; I don't remember much from this afternoon."

Pulling out the chair from Harry's desk, Severus sat down so he was sitting across from Harry. He resisted every urge he had to embrace Harry, to do anything he could to ease the pain and confliction he knew the young wizard was feeling.

"We think we know what's causing it," he said carefully, wanting to break the bad news as easy as possible, "when a wizard's magical core is being threatened, it can have a volatile reaction. It's the headmaster's assumption, and I agree, that it is your magic reacting against the stream of chemotherapy medications. You're a strong wizard Harry, it makes sense your magic would fight back as much as it can."

"So all of this is actually killing my magical signature?" Harry's voice cracked at the end.

How could he refute that statement? It's not like this was news to either of them.

"Unfortunately, yes it does appear that way."

A silence enveloped them as they both considered what this meant and where to go from here. At some point, they would need to discuss what Harry would do without magic if it came down to it. Beyond the basics of finding a new place to go to school and a new career, he couldn't protect himself from the Dark Lord. Until Voldemort was defeated he would constantly live in fear.

"I'm sorry," Harry said so quietly Severus thought he'd imagined it at first. Then Harry lifted his head and the professor could see forgiveness in his green eyes; everything would work out between them eventually.

"You have nothing to apologize for Harry," Severus replied honestly, "I should not have lied by omission. Please understand though, I could not tell you anything until the Weasley's knew first, and they were not notified until we had confirmation."

Harry winced at the word confirmation and Severus knew he was thinking of the body because that's exactly what the professor had meant.

"Is that what you used to do," the Gryffindor asked with a trembling voice, "when you would get summoned?"

The former Death Eater's breath hitched at the question. That question took him completely off guard.

"Unfortunately yes it was," he admitted feeling ashamed of himself. "Of course, if you ask any Death Eater, most would tell you that they did not really know what was involved in until their initiation."

"Did you kill someone when you got your dark mark?" Harry's eyes pleaded for him to be wrong, but the teen already knew the answer. They had discussed his own initiation when Draco had stayed at the castle for training.

"Yes," Severus hung his head ashamed yet again. He wouldn't try to make it appear better than it was by telling Harry he had no idea what was going to be required of him to take the mark, that even as Lucius was recruiting him, his acquaintance never said a word about it. He would not tell Harry how scared he was that if he didn't kill the man in front of him that night, then he himself would have been killed. Instead he let the single word hang between them.

"Why did you become a Death Eater?"

This question he had expected. Everyone wants to know why one chooses that life.

"For respect... And for honor," Severus said confidently. "I had always been interested in the Dark Arts and at the time, the Dark Lord would allow me to explore that further. Then I had my own issue with muggles that I thought I could put to rest by joining him."

There was a pause as they both thought about what was admitted.

"Your father?" Harry eventually asked.

"Yes," another single word that required no further explanation.

"What about my mum? I thought you..." Harry rubbed his forehead like he was trying to push a headache back.

"At that point, Lily and I had our falling out and it was clear she was never going to forgive me... then she started dating James and..." He trailed off as the grief cut through him like it was only yesterday. He would not lie though, not to Harry, "Even if she hadn't broken our friendship, it wouldn't have mattered. Deep down, I already had my mind made up that I wanted to join. In the end, I wanted the respect more than anything else and it cost me more than anyone will ever know.

"Somehow I thought I could separate the other muggles - like my father - from Lily, which now seems petty and ridiculous, but at 17 and 18 years old it made sense to me. I told you the truth that I never considered Lily a... What I ended up calling her that day by the lake."

He could tell Harry was listening and taking what he said to heart as he worried his bottom lip. This was a big conversation to have that brought to light how strange it was to have the Boy-Who-Lived living with a former Death Eater turned Spy. And yet somehow, after all of that Harry didn't look scared of him at all.

"And I knew all of this in your old world?"

"Of course," Severus said without hesitation, "We discussed it very similarly to how we are now. Before the adoption, I wanted to make sure you knew everything about my past; so you wouldn't feel like you were blindsided when it inevitably turned up. And it turned up every single time I spoke to someone at the Department of Children's Services."

It was true they had discussed it, but in his old reality he had literally told Harry everything, including the prophecy - or the half he knew of it at the time - and his direct involvement with it. He was surprised when Harry had not reacted as volatile as he had expected that night.

"One more question," Harry asked confidently, which was a good sign for where this was going. "Why did you switch sides?"

There it was... The question he never wanted to answer to anyone, especially now.

"As I previously told you, that's an exceedingly personal question," Harry went to speak up, but Severus raised his hand to interrupt before he could, "but one I'll give you a little insight to...

"The Dark Lord threatened someone close to me and in that moment I knew I could not trust him. I was determined to do what I could to protect this person, so I went to Professor Dumbledore who promised to help. In return, I pledged my service to him and the Order. Not too dissimilar to Mr. Malfoy's defection here, although the person he is trying to save is himself."

Harry only nodded, but Severus knew there was no way he didn't know it was Lily. Harry would put the pieces together that the prophecy was what drove Voldemort to target his loyal Death Eater's best friend - someone who he may have wanted to be more than just a friend - and that single decision caused him to defect. But Harry would never guess that it was Severus who provided that prophecy to his master. That at the time Severus was proud of what he'd been able to provide even knowing it would kill an innocent child.

"Ok. I don't like it, but I can live with that," the teen said and Severus's heart was lighter.

"Want to go play some chess? I'm not feeling much like sleeping at the moment," Harry asked smiling at Severus.

"Of course," he stood and helped Harry off the bed and followed him as they walked into the sitting room.

"Miss. Weasley has been cured of her curse," the professor said while setting up their game. Harry always played white against him.

"Really? Can I go see her?" Harry asked anxiously, eyes lighting up at the news.

"She's still very weak," Severus explained relaying back what Albus had told him earlier, "but Madam Pomfrey and Bill Weasley expect she'll make a full recovery. Perhaps on Thursday you can visit, once you're through Tuesday's chemotherapy."

"I doubt I'll feel much like going in the next couple of days anyway," sighing dramatically Harry continued, "What about classes this week? Won't I get behind if I don't have any?"

"It's a possibility," he answered honestly. "We'll take it day by day and base it on how you are feeling each morning. I've already told Albus I will be here at all times. I'm not in class on Monday and Tuesday, and during my class time either Professor McGonagall or Mrs. Weasley will stay here. Someone will be with you at all times during your treatments."

Harry nodded having already heard this when he had gone through the tutoring schedule initially. As the pair continued to play Severus's mind kept going back to the parchment in his office. Now that things with Harry have smoothed over, he wanted to finish putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Instinctively he knew they all had to be tied together, but he had no way of knowing how many pieces were left to uncover and that at least one was closer than he thought.