True Heart by mandancie
Summary: Starting a new adventure, Harry learns there's more to life than what he's seen.
Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape, Parental Snape > Godfather Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Dumbledore, McGonagall, Ron
Snape Flavour: Snape is Angry, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Loving, Out of Character Snape, Snape is Stern
Genres: Angst, Family, General, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 1st Year
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Bullying, Out of Character, Physical Punishment Spanking
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: No Word count: 100574 Read: 59889 Published: 12 Jul 2020 Updated: 07 Mar 2024
Chapter 6: Quidditch by mandancie

Severus heard the soft click and looked at the closed door. Severus balled his fist so tightly he broke his quill. Grabbing the inkwell, Severus violently threw it across the room, watching it splash against the stone wall.

Severus stood up and started pacing the length of his office. He was angry. The problem was he didn’t know who the source of his anger. Was it Potter that angered him with his stubbornness? Or was it himself for caring in the first place?

Severus walked over to the small crumpled parchment that was laying where he dropped it. He opened it back up looking at the two words inscribed on it: I’m sorry. All Severus could see was the brokenhearted boy’s face when he saw the apology note fall to the floor. That look was not James. It wasn’t even Lily. Severus knew that look. He’d seen it many times in the mirror when he was growing up.

Severus knew he wasn’t going to get anything done today, so he went to his chambers. Waving his arm, fire came to life on the logs. Severus sat down on his leather chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

___000___000___000

Harry slowly walked out of the dungeon. He saw that it was that it was the beginning of breakfast. Harry had no appetite for anything: food or company. He turned to the front doors and decided to go for a walk.

Harry walked around the grounds. Harry walked towards the lake. Harry could see the edge of the boathouse. The boy remembered how he felt when he first saw Hogwarts. The awe of it. He thought this was a place where he wouldn’t be a freak.

It’d been two months and those wistful feelings were long gone. Yes, he still loved being at Hogwarts. He loved his owl, his dorm, especially his bed, and his friends. Having all that, Harry still felt like someone looking in. He felt like he couldn’t fit in. That maybe his relatives were right. Nothing good can come from a loathsome freak.

Harry walked to the end of the pier and sat down. Harry’s feet slightly swayed. He sighed as he looked out onto the water.

___000___000___000

Fred and George were walking from the boathouse when they saw Harry sitting on the pier.

“Oi, Harry,” Fred called out.

“What are you doing here by yourself?” George asked.

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the twins. They always brought fun and happiness when they were around. They made practice enjoyable.

“One of the first-years giving you a problem?” Fred asked.

“Do we have to prank Ron?” George asked.

The twins knew how much Ron wanted to be on the Quidditch team and they had to pull their little brother aside and get him to understand that Harry was good, and they could win. And that he was Harry’s friend. He should support Harry, not make him feel bad.

Harry didn’t notice the jealousy from Ron and was surprised when Ron came to him and apologized. Harry had shrugged it off.

The twins put their arms around Harry’s shoulders, bringing him out of his many thoughts.

“So, sitting here thinking about the game this tomorrow?” Fred asked.

Not wanting to reveal what was really the problem, Harry nodded. Which wasn’t a lie, as he was nervous about the upcoming game.

“Well, don’t let it bother you,” George said, slightly bumping Harry, causing the small boy to smile. “We’ll make sure you won’t get hurt with the bludger.”

___000___000___000

He looked down from the Astronomy tower. He didn’t like it. Maybe he shouldn’t have used the troll. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do. Then there was Snape. That suspicious bastard. He’s always watching me.

Seeing movement by the Black lake, he saw the Weasley twins along with the Potter boy. Something must happen. Last night was a disaster. The attack on Potter made yesterday not a total loss.

The wizard turned to leave the tower. He was in his thoughts that he didn’t see the one in black watching from the shadows.

___000___000___000

The twins escorted Harry back to the castle.

“We are going to the tower before practice,” Fred said.

“You want to go with us?” George asked.

“Thanks,” Harry said. “No, that’s okay. I have something I need to do before practice.”

“All right,” Fred said, clapping Harry on his shoulder. “We’ll see you at practice.”

Harry smiled as he watched the twins leave. Harry loved being around the Weasley twins. They could always brighten up a day.

Now that he was standing alone at the entrance, Harry looked up towards the magical stairs. He gathered his Gryffindor courage and walked to the second floor.

Poppy was in her potion supply cupboard. She thought about her patient that ran away that morning. She worried about Potter. His fear of wanting a check-up was perturbing. The matron was thinking of what she could do to talk with Harry, when she heard the double doors open. When she turned around, she was surprised to see who was standing by the door.

“Well,” Poppy said, putting her clipboard on the shelf. “To what do I owe this visit?”

Harry slowly walked closer to Madam Pomfrey.

“I wanted to apologize,” Harry said, softly, wringing his hands.

“It’s all right, sweetie,” Poppy said. “Is there something you want now?”

Poppy could see that Harry was nervous. She didn’t want to scare the child.

“I..uh,” Harry sighed. “I mean…I know you wanted…”

“Mr. Potter,” Poppy said softly. She could see that he was struggling. “Come sit.”

Harry walked over to one of the cots and sat down. Poppy sat down next to him. She wrapped her arm around Harry’s small shoulders and pulled him to her side. Feeling the small child broke her heart. It was as if there was no fat on the child.

“Now, you know I want to run a diagnosis on you?” Poppy’s tone was soothing.

Harry nodded. He knew he shouldn’t talk about this. It wouldn’t go well. But he could still see the look on his Professor’s face when he didn’t give him his reason. This was the reason he was here. Harry wanted to show Professor Snape that he was brave.

“I am not going to hurt you,” Poppy encouraged. “It is a small tickle over your skin. It will tell me everything that is bothering you. Maybe, I can find out why your head was hurting a few weeks ago.”

Harry looked up in surprise. He didn’t think Madam Pomfrey would remember that.

“Are you ready to get this done?” Poppy asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Harry sighed.

Poppy stood up, pulling out her wand from her apron. “Why don’t you lay back, while I run the diagnostic. Relax, Harry.”

Well, now everyone will know I’m a freak, Harry thought.

___000___000___000

Minerva was working on her six-year students’ work when her wards alerted her that someone was on their way. Without looking up, Minerva waved her hand causing her door to open.

“Minerva.”

Minerva lifted her head, raising an eyebrow. She didn’t expect this particular visitor.

“Well, Severus,” Minerva said, putting down her quill. “To what do I owe the pleasure? It’s been a while since you’ve graced my door.”

“Yeah,” Severus sighed, sitting down in the leather chair across from Minerva’s desk.

“I’m surprised to see you without Mr. Potter,” Minerva said, smirking.

Severus glared at the woman. “I didn’t come here to be teased.”

“Obviously.”

Severus rolled his eyes.

“What is bothering you, Severus?” Minerva asked.

Minerva and Albus would work on Severus’ nerves. They loved to aggravate the Potions master. But deep down, Severus knew that he could go to the two wizen ‘old coots’ whenever he needed to talk, or after a stressful Death Eater’s meeting, and through his time of depression after disaster from that dreadful October night.

Severus sighed, slouching against the back of the chair.

“What is it, Severus?” Minerva asked again.

Severus looked at Minerva and stood up.

“Severus, wait,” Minerva called out when she watched Severus walk out of her chambers without saying a word.

___000___000___000

Poppy was trying to collect herself in her office, while Harry was in the main Infirmary. She told Harry to wait for her to gather a few more items. Poppy looked at the parchment that printed after the diagnostic spell she cast on Harry.

Bruise. Underweight.

Poppy took a deep breath. She wanted to assure Harry that everything was fine. She understood now why he was so reluctant to get scanned. There has not been a student this bad in a few years.

Poppy walked back to Harry with a pair of pajamas and a jar the size of her hand.

“This, Harry,” Poppy stated, “is a balm that will help heal the bruises that you have.” She placed the jar on the side table along a small goblet of pumpkin juice. “I want you to take this now, and I’ll have the elves put it in your drink when you are in the Great Hall.”

“What is it?” Harry asked leaning over the cup to see what’s in there.

“It’s pumpkin juice,” Poppy informed. “I put some nutrient potion in there. You’re a little underweight. It will boost your appetite so you can gain a little more weight.”

Harry picked up the goblet and slowly put it under his nose to see if it smelled bad. Poppy couldn’t hold back her chuckle.

“Sweet Merlin, Potter,” Poppy laughed. “You won’t be able to taste it.”

Harry looked skeptical. Adults had never been true to their word when it came to him. But there was Professor Snape. But he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. Coming out of his depressing thoughts, he took a small sip, observing there was no difference in the taste. Harry smiled up at the matron. Harry put the cup back to his lips and drank the juice with no issues.

Poppy couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

Harry finished the juice and stood up. “Can I go now?”

“Yes,” Poppy said, handing him the jar of balm. “I want you to put this on every night. It should help with the bruises. Now, away with you. You can’t afford to miss any meals.”

“Thank you, Madam Pomfrey,” Harry said.

He walked to the door and stopped.

“Madam Pomfrey?”

Poppy turned and looked at the small boy at the door.

“Can you tell Professor Snape that I came here?” Harry asked and left.

Poppy was shocked by the request. Why would Harry want me to tell Severus? She shrugged it off and continued her duties. She would ask Severus what that was about.  

___000___000___000

Harry walked into the Great Hall and was greeted by Ron.

“Heya, Harry,” Ron said, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “You got to see what I got for you.”

“Okay,” Harry said smiling.

The two young Gryffindors sat down. Harry started putting food on his plate so he could eat. Harry was about to eat his first bite when a book was shoved under his nose.

Putting down his fork, “What’s this?” Harry asked.

“It’s a book on Quidditch,” Ron said. He was excited. “It tells you about all the different moves.”

“Really,” Harry said, taking the book from his friend and started thumbing through it.

“Yeah,” Ron said. Now, he started to fill his plate. “Imagine all the moves you could learn for the game tomorrow.”

After the boys finished breakfast, they headed to the Common room so that they could look over the book. Before Harry walked out of the Great Hall, he looked at the dais to see if a certain Potions Master was sitting there. He couldn’t help feeling saddened at not seeing the man.

___000___000___000

Late afternoon found Harry sitting on the ledge of the owlery. Hedwig was sitting next to him. Harry was absently rubbing her feathers as he looked through the Quidditch book. He and Ron looked over the book all morning. Harry didn’t think he would be able to do some of the moves in the book. He hadn’t flown on a broom that long. Though he loved the feel of flying, he wasn’t comfortable yet.

Harry stopped petting Hedwig to turn the page when his arm was grabbed from behind and yanked off the ledge. The movement was so fast, Harry’s glasses almost slid completely off his nose. He was dizzy from the abrupt move. He didn’t know what happened until he felt a smack on his bottom followed about three more.

“Have you completely lost your mind.”

Harry looked up and saw an enraged Potion Professor. Harry looked around for Hedwig and saw she wasn’t on the ledge anymore. She must have flown off when Harry was grabbed.

The first few smacks didn’t register with Harry, but the next round did. His bottom was starting to sting.  

“Do you not have any self-preservation?” Severus growled. “First, I catch you flying almost slamming into the castle. Now, you’re sitting on the ledge where a gust of wind could take you off.”

Tears stung Harry’s eyes. He didn’t know if he was crying because once again, he was getting a spanking, or that Professor Snape was still angry.

Severus let Harry go and looked down at the boy.

“Why are you up here?” Severus asked.

Harry took his glasses off and started rubbing the tears when he felt his hand moved away and a crisp handkerchief thrust in front of him. Harry looked at the white piece of cloth for a second. It must have been a little too long as Severus shook it in front of Harry for the boy to take it.

“I’ll ask again,” Severus said. “Why are you up here?”

Harry took a deep breath after cleaning his face as best he could seeing how tears were still falling.

“I…I was j…just re…reading a…and visiting Hedwig,” Harry whispered.

“And visiting your owl meant you needed to put yourself in danger?” Severus inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t in danger,” Harry said.

Severus stepped forward, grabbed Harry’s arm, turning him sideways, and smacked his bottom again. This time the crying came. Harry dropped his glasses on the floor, his arms crossing over his face.

“You were very much in danger,” Severus said, letting go of Harry’s arm. “What would you have done if you slipped? Who would have been here to help you?”

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispered.

The boy backed up until he was against the wall, and like last time, he slid down and curled himself into a small ball: knees to his chest, arms wrapped around them.

Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was coming to the owlery to send off a missive when his heart dropped and leapt at the same time, seeing that small child sitting on the ledge. Once again that fear he felt, when he saw the troll swung its club at the child, came back. Why was this bothering him?

Severus looked down at the little boy, crying quietly. Shaking his head, Severus knelt beside him.

“Potter,” Severus said softly.

There was a gasping, mumbled “yes, sir,” coming from the small boy.

“Look at me,” Severus said. He regretted making that request. It was Lily’s eyes looking at him. Severus looked away.

“I want you to answer me clearly this time. Why were you up here?” Severus asked again.

“Reading,” Harry spoke quietly. “And I wanted to see Hedwig.”

“Reading what?”

Harry removed his arms from around his knees and reached for the discarded book that fell from his hands when he was taken from the ledge.

Severus took the offered book and looked at the title. ‘Quidditch Through the Ages.’

Great, Severus thought, just what the boy needed. Yes, he was good on a broom, but that doesn’t mean he needed to drive himself wild learning more moves.

Severus shook his head of those thoughts and pocketed the book. Harry gaped at the Potions Master.

“Why are you taking my book?” Harry asked. “You already spanked me. Why am I still being punished?” More tears spilled from his eyes when finished that statement.

“You were punished,” Severus clarified, “because of your constant need to put yourself in danger. My confiscating this book is because library books are not to be taken from the Library.”

“I didn’t take it from the library,” Harry said. “You have to give it back.” Harry started to panic. What if Ron didn’t talk to him because he lost his book? He couldn’t lose his best, only friend.

“I don’t have to do anything,” Severus said, raising his eyebrow at the audacity of the boy.

“Please.” Harry reached out gripping Severus’ sleeve. “I can’t lose that book. It’s not mine. I have to give it back. He may stop being my friend if I lose his book. Please, Professor.”

What Severus was about to say died in his throat when he saw the panic in the child’s eyes. Severus slowly grabbed Harry’s wrist. He didn’t try to remove the boy, but he needed the child to pay attention.

“Mr. Potter,” Severus said softly. “Whoever gave you this book they got it from the Library.”

“Please, Professor Snape,” Harry begged, not listening to the Professor. “I’ll do anything.”

“Calm yourself, Harry,” Severus said.

Harry quickly stopped talking when he heard his name. He didn’t realize he was still gripping Professor Snape’s robe.

“This is nothing that you need to go into hysterics,” Severus said, pulling the book back from his robe. Opening the front of the book, Severus showed Harry the inside cover. “Do you see that? What does it say?”

Harry leaned closer towards the book, when he saw his glasses in the Professor’s hands. Putting on his glasses, Harry looked at the book. Severus noticed that he was still leaning in to read the book but didn’t say anything.

The inside cover had an ink stamp: Hogwarts Library.

“What does it say?” Severus asked, his voice soft.

“Hogwarts Library,” Harry said, looking at Snape.

Harry had never seen his Professor this close before. Looking at the man, he didn’t seem as intimidating. Harry lowered his head slightly embarrassed and weirdly calm. His hand was still on the Professor and he hadn’t shaken him off. Not wanting to make the man angry, Harry let go and sat back on his heels.

“Now,” Severus said. “You see this is not your friend’s book. If they ask you for it or give you trouble,” Severus stood up, “send them to me.”

Without saying another word, Severus left the owlery. Once again, Harry was confused about the attitude of the Professor. Hedwig hooted, bringing Harry out of his musing. The boy stood up, petting his owl while whispering to her. Since he received his owl, Hedwig was Harry’s secret keeper. Harry spent the early days telling her about everything that happened. It was no different now. After saying his goodbyes, Harry headed for the Gryffindor Common room.

___000___000___000

Severus’ trek back to his chambers was a slow one. Once again, that boy does something that muddled with his mind. Every time he tried to keep his distance from the child, something would happen that brings him closer to the brat.

He thought about the impromptu spanking he gave the child. He could have easily paid the boy no mind, but the thought of scaring the child and causing him to lose his balance…Severus still had to shake his head as that feeling of dread seeped into him.

The man was so lost in thought that he didn’t realize he made it to his chambers. Standing in front of his door, he knew he needed to stop this. He couldn’t continue to worry about that boy, who wasn’t even in his house. He just needed a quiet evening with a stiff drink.

When he opened the door, that last thought went straight out the window. Albus and Minerva were sitting on the sofa in front of the fire.

“Severus, my boy,” Albus cheerfully said. “Come, join us.”

“Why are you here?” Severus groaned.

“I thought it would be good to have tea together,” Minerva said, pouring another cup of tea. “Come sit.” She waved her hand at the armchair next to the sofa.

“I don’t want tea,” Severus growled. “I want to be alone.”

“Oh, stop being difficult,” Minerva dismissed. “Now, sit down. You need to stop being antisocial.”

“I like my privacy,” Severus said. “Though you two don’t think I should have any.”

“Now, now,” Albus tsked. “There’s no reason for attitude.”

“Attitude?” Severus couldn’t believe what Albus said. “You barge into my chambers, make yourself at home, all before I even got here. And you’re talking to me about my attitude.”

“Now, Severus, you knock it off,” Minerva admonished. “There was a very important reason we are here. Now stop acting like an emotional teenager, sit down and drink your tea.”

Severus was shocked mute. It had been a very long time since anyone had talked to him in that manner. He looked from Minerva to Albus, and back to Minerva. Taking a deep breath, Severus calmed his nerves and sat down.

“Forgive me,” Severus sighed.

It was a long time before Minerva and Albus left Severus’ chambers. After the two overbearing geezers left, Severus realized there was more to worry about than just the boy.

___000___000___000

Today was the big day. Harry had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, he was excited. He practiced hard with his teammates. On the other, he was anxious. He wanted to do well, so his teammates would let him stay on the team.

Harry’s worries about how Ron would take him losing the book was all for naught. Ron wasn’t upset. Ron admitted that he forgot to tell Harry that it was from the library and promised Harry that he was still his best friend.

Harry was standing at the entrance to the Quidditch pitch surrounded by his teammates. Fred and George were standing next to him. Looking around, Harry truly felt tiny compared to the heights of the other players.

“Alright, Harry,” Oliver said. “Just stay above until you see the snitch.”

Harry’s nerves were on edge, so all he did was nod his understanding.

George wrapped his arm around Harry’s shoulders.

“Don’t worry, Har,” George said. “We got your back.”

“Yeah,” Fred said. “Only worry about the gold ball.”

Before Harry could respond, the doors opened, everyone got on their brooms, and flew out on the field.

The instant Harry was in the air his anxiety vanished. He felt calm. He flew around the field along with the others, ending at the middle of the field. Harry looked around. He saw Ron and Hermione, along with Dean, Neville and Seamus, cheering. He smiled at his friends and then looked around the other stands. Emerald landed on onyx. A sense of peace flowed down Harry.

The attention went to Madam Hooch. She gave the rules, released the balls, and the game began.

Harry flew up high and watched as the game commenced. Both teams were going at it. Gryffindor scored. Slytherin scored. The beaters were trying to stop the players. Oliver kept the Slytherin team from scoring as well as the other way around.

Harry was enjoying the game. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw a glint of gold. The snitch flew in front of him and Harry took off. In and out. Over the goal posts or around the stands. Harry had tunnel vision. He only saw the snitch. He was about to reach out for the small golden ball when his broom bucked as if it were a horse. This stunned Harry out of his focus so that he noticed his surroundings. He was high above the field. The snitch was nowhere around. Harry looked around to see what possibly could have happened. He shrugged it off and headed back so that he could find the snitch again.

On his way back, the broom once again bucked. This time it wasn’t just a single jerk. It wouldn’t stop. The broom started bucking, swaying, going up a few meters and flying down a few meters. It spun in circles. Harry closed his eyes and tried to hold on as tight as he could. The broom kept moving erratically. Harry started to lose his grip.

Harry was scared to scream. He feared he would lose his breakfast if he did. He was too scared to cry. Harry thought about everything he’d been in that could have killed him: his uncle, his cousin, the teachers. Coming to a school where he wasn’t considered a freak and found friends, he didn’t think this would be the place that would kill him.

Harry was ripped from his thoughts when he was completely flipped from the broom. This time a scream did escape the small boy’s lips. Harry held on to the broom like a life raft. He feared that he would lose his grip.

“HELP!” Harry screamed. “PLEASE!”   

He felt his hand slipping, when another ear-piercing scream escaped his lungs. Right before his hand completely slipped from the wooden handle, Harry felt something grip his wrist. He felt his arm pull closer to the broom so that he could get a better grip.

The broom continued to buck trying to drop the child, but for whatever reason, Harry’s hand was glued to the broom. No amount of moving would remove Harry’s hand. Knowing that he couldn’t move his hand, calmed Harry a little so he could try and remount his broom. That was still difficult. Then as if it never happened, Harry’s broom hovered where it was.

Harry looked at the broom, when it didn’t move anymore, he mounted his broom with no problem. Testing the maneuverability of the broom let him know he was now in charge. Once he had control, he could move his hand. Once Harry’s heart slowed, he was able to get his mind back on the game.

Again, the golden snitch caught his eye. Harry was determined to catch it. No matter what. Yet again, he took off after it. This time both Seekers were after it. The other Seeker tried to knock him off his broom, but Harry would not be deterred. The snitch flew with the effort to make the Seekers earn the win. Harry was resolute.

Both Seekers were neck and neck. Harry being smaller was just a few inches closer. The Slytherin Seeker tried to push Harry off his broom. Being close to the ground he succeeded, but instead of falling sideways, since Harry was leaning forward, he fell forward rolling on the grass.

Alicia and Katie landed next to Harry and helped him stand up. He collapsed against Alicia before catching himself. Alicia once again helped Harry stand, this time something popped out of Harry’s mouth.

“Gryffindor Wins!”

TBC

To be continued...


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