Summary: Severus Snape had a secret. It gnawed at him. It ate at him. He'd never told a soul. Until Harry came to Hogwarts. This is the canon story we all know, but with a twist and a different final battle ending. This is a, 'what we could have been seeing all this time and not realized' story (in a very Potions and Snitches sort of way).
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: Canon Snape, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Loving, Snape is Secretive, Snape is Stern
Genres: Angst, Drama, Family, General, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: Spying on Harry! Snape
Takes Place: 1st Year, 2nd summer, 2nd Year, 5th Year, 7th Year
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Bullying, Character Death, Neglect, Physical Punishment Non-Spanking, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes
Word count: 10486 Read: 15312
Published: 17 Jul 2020 Updated: 24 Jul 2020
Not many people have the courage to ask me what my greatest secret is. There have been a few, but I have never told. It is not that I relish the keeping, something to have to myself. Nor is it a lack of those I trust. No one has known the shame I know... one can't really, because it eats you alive, as it has eaten me. It is a shame that blocks out all light in a world where there is little light to begin with. No. No, I suppose that's not true either. There was some light in the beginning. The light that was Lily.
Lily was the first to ask. At the time my greatest secret was little more than that I wore only second hand clothes, I hated my father, and my mother was a witch. I never had to tell because Lily was too curious for her own good and had me figured out before I could get the courage to tell her. It's too bad that I could not tell her the one secret that defines me and who I have become. I cannot tell her, because she already knew.
Albus was the second to ask me. I never did tell him you know. I lied instead and told him of my misguided foray into the dark arts and the world of death and destruction. Something else I am deeply ashamed about, but it comes nowhere close to my most guarded inner thoughts.
Voldemort was the third to inquire. "What is your deepest, most darkest secret Severus? I can make all your wishes come true you know. You have but to ask and I will give it to you for the taking." The vile man tried to pry the information from my mind, but there is no prying what cannot be found there. The information is embedded so deeply into my heart, that I know every fiber of my being reeks of it, but Voldemort never did prize away even the outer layers to see what hides inside.
My name is Severus Tobias Snape, and I have a secret that I don't know how to tell. I'm dying inside a little each day... it's my own private hell.
The End.