7 Years Earlier

He watched from the shadow that was his long hair falling into his face. Dark eyes marked a man on a mission. Severus Snape watched as a slight boy with messy black hair and dark green eyes peered around a corner. The child had no idea that a professor was down the corridor behind him peering from around his own corner. He looked left, and then right, and then darted down the hall towards the kitchens. How he'd even figured out where the kitchens were, Severus didn't know. An older student must have told him. It was only his third day as a first year, and by all rights he should still have been turned around and half lost while navigating the castle at this point. It took most students weeks to figure out where they were going.

Severus hurried purposefully to the corner Harry Potter had just vacated and watched as the boy tickled the portrait of the pear and it opened up for him. When he went into the kitchen Severus strode forward and went to the portrait himself. It hadn't swung closed all the way yet and he held it open, no longer hiding himself as he stood in the frame.

It was late and there were no house elves in the kitchen. They were all probably back in their living quarters for the night, or else off doing student laundry or cleaning common rooms while the children slept. He peered at his watch for only a moment to confirm that it was eleven thirty, well past curfew. Across the dimly lit kitchen he could see the small boy working hard to try to pry open the large and heavy refrigerator door. It was made of wood and the child had to lean back with all of his weight to get it open. Was he really sneaking out and wandering through the castle just to make himself a sandwich? It appeared so. Harry worked on a sandwich for a full five minutes without turning to see his professor in the doorway, arms crossed as he leaned on the frame.

Severus studied him, as he had been doing for the past three days. He suspected the child knew he was being watched, he'd caught him staring at him enough times. The truth was, Severus could not help himself but to look. This was Harry Potter. This was Lily's child. He had her eyes, but his hair he inherited from his father. Black and unruly, and even a bit long though Severus knew that was up to preference. He had wondered what the child would look like by the time he came to Hogwarts. He had only seen him once as a baby, and one other time as a small child. He couldn't help himself then either. He'd gone to the Dursley's just to see the boy's face on his fifth birthday. He'd even left a small present of plastic army men wrapped in green paper on the step with Harry's name on it. Dumbledore had asked him to check on the boy a few years later but he had refused. It hurt too much to see a son he could not have. He was tormented enough these past eleven years without having a meddling old fool forcing him to torment himself some more. Now he was here though, where Severus could keep an eye on him, and possibly learn about him. None of this nonsense about being safe where his mother's blood resided. Severus would not tell Dumbledore about Harry even if he wanted to, because he knew it would make no difference. Dumbledore could not know. Nobody could, because contrary to popular belief, Severus was certain that Voldemort was not dead. He had been a spy before, and he would be one again, and Harry's safety would be compromised if anyone found out the truth about his true parentage.

Severus' eyes kept track of the boy as he put the ingredients back in the fridge and then put his sandwich on a plate and prepared to turn around. It was a very large sandwich and he was just wondering if the child would be able to eat it all when he turned around, stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Severus, and dropped his sandwich on the floor. Harry stood stalk still, and if it had been just a little darker, he might have managed to blend right into the shadows in the large kitchen.

"That is a waste of a perfectly good sandwich Mr. Potter." He stood straight and came all the way into the kitchen, finally letting the pear portrait close. Harry's eyes kept track of him all the way across the kitchen. Severus stooped to pick up the sandwich and took the plate from Harry's hand to place the sandwich back on it. He set it on the counter.

"Do I- do I have to eat it?" Harry questioned. From the shake in the voice Severus knew the boy felt he was hazarding it.

"You made it."

He watched in amazement as Harry reached forward and picked up the now dirty sandwich. He reached out and grabbed his wrist, startling the child.

"I did not say you had to eat it. If you are hungry you should make another one."

Harry's eyes were still locked on his own. Why did the child do that? Why didn't he look away, or look embarrassed? He looked scared.

"You are not in trouble Potter. Make your sandwich so you can go back to bed, where you should be at this hour."

After staring at him for a few more seconds, Harry finally put the sandwich down and turned back to the fridge, though it looked like he was reluctant.

He hurried through making another sandwich (though Severus noted it had less on it than the first one did), and then put the ingredients back away.

"Sit and eat," Severus told him. He waved up the lights a little with his wand and pointed at a stool at the wooden counter. As Harry sat down, Severus summoned a glass to him and opened the fridge to pour pumpkin juice. Harry looked wary when he set it next to his plate and took a seat on the stool across from him. He chewed slowly and silently, eyes never leaving the Potion Master's.

"How come I'm not in trouble?" he asked after he ate the last bite.

"You should be," Severus said. Any other student would have been, but any other student was not his son. Harry stared at him.

"You want to know why you're not in trouble for being out after curfew, but you got in trouble for taking notes on the first day of class?"

Harry gave a single strained nod. Severus guessed the boy had heard all the rumors about him, the bat of the dungeons, supreme detention giver, greasy git of Hogwarts. He didn't know for certain but he did know he had done everything to enforce that view in the last three days. He'd already taken ten points from the boy and had not bothered to give them back, not even in secret.

"I have a secret," Severus said, and then he watched for the boy's reaction. There was none. He simply stared and listened, arms folded in front of him on the wooden counter. Severus drank in his appearance again. He was really too small to be eleven years old. Maybe nine. He noted that the boy wasn't wearing his glasses and wondered why.

"I will tell it to you," Severus said after long silent moments, "if you promise not to tell. I have never told anyone."

Harry didn't answer for several seconds but finally gave a single nod. His eyes were still locked and weary but a little curious now. Severus gave him a hard look and then pointed and said, "I'm taking it on your word that you won't tell. A man is nothing if he is not good on his word."

"I won't tell."

"Good. Because it has to do with you."

Harry raised his brows but stayed quiet.

"I knew your mother," Severus said. "We were friends before school, and we were friends in school. She was in Gryffindor, and I was in Slytherin."

"My mother?" his voice was almost a whisper.

"She was beautiful and smart, and witty." Severus paused as he remembered the jokes Lily used to make and how they would go over James Potter's head. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

"Your secret- is that you knew my mother?" Harry asked, still wary.

Severus shook his head. "No. People knew we were friends." He took a deep breath. He hadn't intended to come down here to tell his son his secret. He wanted to though. He didn't want to take it to the grave with him. No one else deserved to know, but Harry did.

"Harry," he said quietly. "You've always been told that your parents were James and Lily Potter. That's what everyone thinks. Your mother was Lily, but only she and I knew the truth about your father."

Harry's lips had parted now as he hung on every word. Severus wasn't sure if the boy had deduced the meaning of his words yet or if he was simply still in shock that the hated Potion's Master of the dungeons was telling him about his parents in the middle of the night.

"I am your father."

Harry frowned for a moment and then bit his lip. He looked down at the table and Severus could see that he was trying to work through what had just been said. He was ok with giving the child time to work it out. He'd just told his secret, the secret he'd harbored for years, and he needed time to process that himself. It was like letting an important piece of him go. But he hoped he would be getting an even more important piece back. If not today or tomorrow, then next week, or next year. He would wait until Harry was ready to process it.

"If you're my father," he asked quietly, looking up again, "why did you leave me with the Dursleys?"

"It wasn't my choice. The Headmaster gained legal custody of you the day after your mother died. Even if I had come forward then, you would have still ended up with your mother's family."

"Why?"

"The Headmaster has great political pull with the wizengamot and in the Ministry. He was on the leading edge of the war against Voldemort. He decided that since your mother died rather than give you up to Voldemort, that she'd accidentally placed a spell on you. He believes that as long as you reside with her family, that you'll be safe."

"From what?"

"Voldemort."

Harry stared at him. Severus didn't know what he'd expected from the boy, but he was taking it very well he thought.

"Voldemort is dead, and I don't want to live with the Dursleys."

Severus' heart skipped half a beat. Did he not want to live with them because he knew he had a father now?

"They're not very nice," he finished, looking at his hands again.

"Voldemort isn't dead," Severus said, and this brought Harry's eyes back up. "He's not, and don't let anyone tell you he is. I was once a spy for Dumbledore in Voldemort's ranks. Many of his followers are still around today. They have children that go to this school, they work in the Ministry, they work on Diagon Alley. They are everywhere. They believe I am still loyal to Voldemort, and it must stay that way. Because the world believes you defeated him, I must make appearances to hate you as well. That is why I snapped at you the first day in class."

"So you're telling me you're my father, but you can't be my father?" He was getting upset and Severus held up his hand to stop him.

"I'm telling you that I'm your father, and that you are my son. We have a chance to be a family, but no one else can know. Not Dumbledore, not your friends, not your mother's family. I must appear to hate you, and you must appear to hate me. It is not only my position as a spy that is at stake, but more importantly your safety. Voldemort will come back."

"How can we be a family then?"

Severus sat back on the stool and put his hand over his mouth and chin. "If I must appear to hate you, then I can give you detentions which you don't deserve. This will give you ample opportunity to appear to resent me. It will also give us a reason to spend time together."

"Won't I get kicked out if I get too many detentions?"

"It is only a start. You of course, do not have to spend time with me."

Harry took a deep breath and sat back. He rubbed one eye and Severus became aware again that it was well past the child's bedtime.

"You were a spy," Harry said. "I guess I'll get to be one too."

"Yes," Severus said, and he motioned for Harry to get off his stool. "And the first rule of spying is don't get caught. You were reckless to come out after curfew. There are teachers and Prefects that patrol the halls until midnight, which is why you got caught. You will serve detention tomorrow evening for your sandwich."

Harry looked up into his eyes and looked hurt. "You said I wasn't in trouble."

"Appearances," Severus said. "You may bring your homework to my office tomorrow evening, and we can talk again then."

Severus held open the pear portrait and let Harry out. Harry stopped at the end of the hall and looked back, perhaps to make sure he hadn't dreamt all of this, gave Severus an uncertain smile (just a flash of one), and then ran off towards the Entrance Hall.

Perhaps there is still light, Severus thought to himself as he watched his son disappear around the corner, and I will take the glimmer of it.