Severus rubbed his temples as he stared down at the papers scattered around his dining table, a muggle pen in his hand as Wallace directed him to the areas he needed to initial or sign. He was seated at the table, leaning into the palm of his hand as he propped himself up on his elbow. He closed his eyes briefly, feeling the several days of lack of sleep catch up to him in that instant, and he nearly gave in to the feeling and kept his eyes closed a second longer.

               “Severus!” Wallace snapped.

               Severus opened his eyes and stared down at the page he had started to scribble on. He finished his signature and glanced over at Wallace, who gave him a concerned face.

               “If you need, I can find a reason to postpone social services visit today,” Wallace offered. “You look exhausted and with where we stand in this case now, you need to look as attentive to your daughter as you can be.”          

               “I know, I know,” Severus said. He signed the last paper and handed the sheets to Wallace. “And no, it needs to be done today. I can’t be asking for favors right now, and it won’t look good if I ask to have these visits rescheduled.”

               Wallace’s eyebrows shot up.

               “It won’t look good if you drop your daughter because you fell asleep while holding her.”

               “I can assure you, of all the times I fell asleep holding Iris, I have yet to drop her.”

               “Then let’s not break that record,” Wallace said as he packed away the legal paperwork. “This isn’t going to be an easy case, what with the tender years doctrine and Iris not being two years old yet, this is going to be an uphill battle and you need to be everything for that child. You cannot let yourself be distracted for a moment. Where you go, she goes, unless you’ve got a babysitter somewhere?”

               “No,” Severus said as he dragged his hands down his face. “Dahlia and I had opposite schedules so someone was always home with her, but I can look for one, I guess.”

               “Well, if you want to teach and change nappies at the same time, you do you.” Wallace threw his jacket on and picked up his briefcase. “Just tread carefully, Severus. If you’re serious about taking full custody, you’re going to need to be mum, dad, teacher, provider, playmate . . . and everything else I can’t think of. Try not to bite off more than you can chew and there’s no harm admitting if you can’t manage it all. We can go over our terms at any time.”

               “It won’t be necessary,” Severus said, standing to escort Wallace to the door. “I’ve been managing fine.”

               “I just don’t want you to be disheartened if we lose the case. It’s a high possibility.”

               “Thank you, Wallace,” Severus said, holding the door open to his friend.

               Wallace sighed and nodded at Severus wishing him a soft “good day, then,” as he stepped out the door. Severus closed the door behind him and leaned against it, raising a hand over his eyes. This morning had been awful so far. First, he heard news of his best friend’s death, along with her husband. He didn’t even know what had become of his own son, but after his floo call with the auror, Wallace had called the phone line and announced that he had finished up with the paperwork Severus needed to review for their upcoming court date in the ongoing custody battle of Iris. And to top the cake, social workers decided today was a great day to see his humble home.

               It had been three weeks since he broke it off with Dahlia, and two weeks since they began their legal custody battle. In that time, he was Iris’s everything, day and night, and it was exhausting him. It felt very similar to when they had first brought Iris home, when she was up every two hours for a bottle or nappy change. Now, she was simply fussy and irritable, and Severus was sure the change in her routine along with Dahlia’s continued absence played a role in it. She hardly slept through the night anymore, and he spent hours each night trying to guess what might placate her enough to go back to sleep.

               Crying sounded from the playpen in the living room and he glanced in its direction. Iris had woken from her nap and was standing up in her playpen, tears streaming down her face as she reached out for Severus. Her hair was messy despite the pigtails, and she only had a diaper and shirt on.

               With a heavy sigh, Severus walked over to the playpen and picked up his daughter.

               “Okay, honey,” Severus said softly, “are you hungry now? You hardly ate breakfast.”

               Iris stuck her thumb in her mouth as she rested her head against Severus’s shoulder. He carried her over to the dining table and set her in her highchair. He was so glad for his open concept design as he walked into the kitchen, glancing back at Iris every minute as he grabbed a couple fruits, a melon and a pear, and chopped them up quickly. He scooped up the fruit and brought the items back to Iris, dropping the fruit on her highchair table. Iris slowly picked up a fruit and shoved it in her mouth.

               There was a knock at the door and Severus winced. It couldn’t possibly be social services already—he hadn’t even had a chance to clean up yet. The living room was a mess of toys Iris had thrown around last night and the kitchen still had yesterday’s meal preps in the sink. He needed a shave and perhaps a fresh change of clothes. Well, his state of being would have to suffice.

He used his wand to move all of Iris’s toys into one of the empty bins in the living room and then cast a self-washing charm on the dishes in the sink and they floated to the drying rack one by one. He summoned a comb and quickly redid Iris’s pigtails, much to her displeasure, and she threw a pear piece in protest.

Another knock at the door echoed in the house and Severus took a deep breath and headed to the door. He opened it and blinked at the sight.

Albus Dumbledore stood on the doorstep holding a crying Harry in his arms.

“Harry.” Severus breathed a sigh of relief as he took the small child from Albus and rocked him. Harry slowly stopped crying until he was just sniffling in Severus’s arms. “Albus, what happened?”

“I’m afraid we put our trust in the wrong hands,” Albus said. “Peter Pettigrew betrayed the Potters, and Voldemort found their hideout. Harry is the only survivor, I’m afraid.”

Severus brushed Harry’s hair back, his eyes falling on the lightning shaped scar that graced the boy’s head. It still looked red and swollen, and he ran his thumb over it and Harry twisted away from him with a whine. Severus shushed him and rocked him more.

“As for Harry,” Albus began, “we do not have many options for him. You are his godfather and named first in line should something happen to the Potters, not to mention his father, so I must ask if I may transfer guardianship to you, Severus.”

Severus paused, staring into Harry’s sad green eyes. Lily’s image came to his mind, and the hurt it caused forced him to look away. His eyes fell on Iris, who was busy dropping her remaining fruit on the floor.

“I . . .” Severus began as he looked back at Harry. He felt his chest tighten and his heart picked up pace in his chest as he closed his eyes, frustration grinding at his nerves. Why now? Why all of this at the same time? Was he really going to have to choose one child over the other? Could he do it?

No distractions, Wallace had said; try not to bite off more than you can chew.

Iris let out an angry cry as she pounded on the table.
               “I don’t know,” Severus said as he handed Harry back to Albus and walked inside, leaving the door open for Albus to follow. Severus pulled Iris out of her seat and set her on the floor. He used his wand to clean the mess she had created. “Dahlia left me. And she wants full custody of Iris, and I’m already set up to lose this whole case; social services are stopping by at some point, and . . . I can’t take on another child, not right now.”

“So, a temporary placement then,” Albus suggested. “Your parents, perhaps?”

“No, Dad just came home from having muggle lung surgery and Ma has a lot of aftercare instructions she needs to assist him in. I can’t throw a baby at them. I feel awful enough as it is. What about Black? He’s the other godfather.”

Severus grabbed Iris before she could toddle off too far and cleaned her face and hands with a summoned washcloth before he let her go and wiped down her highchair.

“I’m afraid Black is unaccounted for. I fear he may have gone after Pettigrew.”

“Of course, he did,” Severus grumbled as he rubbed his temples.

Albus watched with a concerned frown as Severus cleaned up his kitchen with forceful flicks of his wand. Dishes and pans put themselves away and washcloths scrubbed at the counters. Albus adjusted Harry to his other hip, glancing down at the little redheaded girl fiddling with the hem of his robe. She looked up at him with big brown eyes. He smiled at her before looking back at Severus.

“Are you sure your parents are out of the question? Your mother was always one to take on a challenge.”

“Albus,” Severus warned.

“And perhaps social services might see someone who is more than worthy of keeping his daughter if he can manage two babies. I’m sure Iris would love to grow up with a sibling to play with. It’s good for their brain development, I hear, certainly the muggles will take that into consideration. Or perhaps we could consider other close relatives. Petunia has a child of her own, I’m sure she would keep an eye on Harry for you while you work all of this out, if not for you, for her dear sister . . .”

“Albus, stop!” Severus snapped. “Just . . . stop!”

There was silence for all of three seconds.

Then, Harry and Iris started crying loudly.

Severus bit his inner cheek and covered his face with a hand.

Albus tried rocking Harry as he moved forward and placed a supporting hand on Severus’s shoulder.

“You look exhausted, my boy,” Albus said. “Perhaps Harry staying with Petunia would be best for now.”

“Are you seriously suggesting I send my son to that woman?” Severus glared over his hand before he lowered it completely and picked up his daughter.

“She is married now, has a son of her own. She’s not the same young teenager you once knew, Severus.”

Severus rubbed Iris’s back as she snuggled against his chest. His eyes strayed to Harry, who was rubbing his eyes tiredly. The poor boy had been through so much already. He needed somewhere he could settle down and find a routine. Severus barely had a routine figured out for Iris still. And if Petunia was married and already had a child, then at least there was two of them to share the tasks of parenting and Petunia was one to always plan everything out. Besides, it would be temporary. He needed to win for his daughter first.

“If you’re certain she’ll take care of him,” Severus said, “I’ll agree if she agrees. I don’t know how long this will take. Muggle law cases could go on forever it seems.”

“Then it is settled. Harry will be okay, Severus. I will insist that Petunia sends you updates on his progress while you work things out with Dahlia and the muggle law.”

The tightness in his chest clenched more, and Severus fought the feeling as he nodded.

Five Months later:

Severus could finally breathe. It was over. He had won the case. It had been so close for so long with the back and forth badgering but he finally won for Iris. He knew he would be Iris’s best interest, and while Dahlia would probably never talk to him again, she would get over it and hopefully use her visiting time wisely with Iris. She had managed to win herself every other holiday and a weekend each month. Far too much time in Severus’s opinion, but he reluctantly agreed to end the battle. He looked over the finalized documents Wallace had delivered and set them in a drawer in his desk.

As he opened the drawer, he found the Christmas picture of Harry Albus had delivered to him on New Year’s. He sat down in his seat and stared at the photo. The night he had gotten it, he couldn’t help the few tears that had escaped his eyes. Harry was sitting in front of a large Christmas tree with an awed expression on his face. There were several gifts surrounding the tree, more than what he thought was reasonable for two boys, but he wasn’t about to complain.

Shuffling through the papers on his desk, Severus found the photo Albus had delivered yesterday. It was a family photo, one with Petunia and her grossly obese husband, and two small children at their feet. Harry was smiling as he leaned back against Petunia, who held his hand to keep him from running off most likely. Severus smiled at the photo, then closed his eyes.

He loved his son, but he looked so happy and settled in with the Dursleys, he didn’t want to rip away that security Harry had found and force him to start all over in new territory. Harry didn’t know him like he now knew the Dursleys. He would be scared and confused as to why his world was turning upside down all over again. And after everything he had already gone through . . .

Without a word, Severus set both photos in his drawer. He had no place in Harry’s life anymore. He gave up on that chance twice—once to James and Lily, and now to Petunia. While he may have had an uncle like status in the first relationship, Petunia had stated that she was too nervous around magic to want any of it near her house, and that it might be best if Severus stayed away, especially now that Harry was relaxed and trauma free, so it seemed. Though the scar never faded. He agreed, for Harry’s sake. He had to do what was best for his son, just as he had to do for his daughter.

               “Severus!” Eileen’s voice called.

               Severus left his study, finding his mother and Eileen in the living room. Eileen finished changing her nappy and slid a skirt back on the redhead before letting her toddle off. Eileen stood up and vanished the dirty nappy before she saw Severus.

               “There you are,” Eileen said. “I have to head back home to your father, are you all set with everything from court?”

               “All the paperwork is finalized.” Severus said.

               “Oh good.” Eileen frowned as she asked, “Are you okay? For someone who won custody of his daughter, you don’t look so happy.”

               “Just lost in memories,” Severus said with a small smile. “I’ll be fine.”

               “Hmm.” Eileen reached into her purse and pulled out a card. “I heard from an associate that a familiar face is back in town. I thought I might give this to you. You know, in case you need help.”

               “I’ve been managing just fine,” Severus said even as he took the card.

               “Just in case,” Eileen reassured. “We could all use a little help sometimes, you know.”

               Eileen stepped through the floo and vanished. Severus glanced at the card, and he quirked a brow at the picture. There was a face he had seen many years ago, albeit a younger image. He turned the card over.

Single Parent? Busy Work Schedules? Too many minds to entertain?

Addie Bell is the nanny for you!

First Aid Spells and CPR Charm Certified. Accidental Magic Chaos Solutions Trained.

50 Years’ Experience.

Nannied over 30 children, pureblood, halfblood, and muggleborns alike.

Floo Call information below.

               Severus smiled softly.

Present Day:

               Severus pulled out of his reverie on the day he had sent Harry away to Petunia, and his eyes strayed over to the awful woman sitting with her impassionate face staring back at him. He had been fooled by her for many years thanks to those staged photos. He refocused his attention on Wallace who was pacing and talking in front of the witness stand where he was currently sitting. Severus frowned when he heard Wallace’s question.

               “Do you need me to repeat the question, Severus?”

               “Yes, thank you,” Severus replied.

               “You did not persuade Harry in any way, tell stories or lead Harry on that Petunia was abusive?”

               “I did not.”

               “Harry told you on his own accord that Petunia was forcing him to climb up chimneys, eat small meals, and sleep in a cupboard?”

               “Yes, and much more as I spent more time with him.”

               “Thank you, no further questions.”

               Severus steeled himself for Dolion to start his cross examination.

He had seen the man shred every testimony to pieces, even Healer Villin’s, much to Severus’s disbelief. Dolion had argued with the doctor that Harry could have developed asthma much later in life, and that it was new disease Petunia did not get a chance to even prepare for as Harry then vanished not much later. He shredded Harry’s old schoolteacher’s observation skills to pieces, remarking that if Harry was always in such an awful state, why not report it? Or was Harry’s condition truly as bad as the teacher was saying? He informed the jury that Vernon was only agreeing to abuse for a lesser punishment than his wife, and even Addie was scrutinized on the stand just for being a close association of Severus’s.

Dolion was quiet for a moment as he strolled up to the stand, then rested an arm on the stand and leaned into it casually.

“I know this must be hard on you, seeing as it concerns your son,” Dolion began, “but I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to give him up in the first place. Why did you do that, Mr. Snape? Give up your son?”

Severus took a deep breath. Of course, that would be Dolion’s opening question.

“At the time of his parents’ death,” Severus began, “his mother and adoptive father, Harry’s placement was brought up to me and unfortunately, my ex and I had a falling out and were in the middle of a custody battle over our daughter. As it was, I was at a great disadvantage as mothers are more often awarded custody over the fathers, and social services was looking for any excuse to have Iris removed from my care and put into a foster placement until a court decision was made. Not wanting to lose my daughter, I had to find Harry a temporary placement until the situation was resolved.”

Severus paused to glance at the jurors’ reactions. They were not giving off a lot of reaction, so he continued.

“It was several months until the court finally came to a decision and when Petunia sent me her updates, I was deluded to believe that Harry was happy, secure, and comfortable in his new home and I couldn’t unsettle all of that again, not after he had already lost his parents. I couldn’t take him away from what I thought was a good family that he was connecting to. After all, I was never really a big part of his life. He didn’t get the chance to know me as he was with Petunia.”

“I see,” Dolion said, glancing at the jurors. “So you willingly put Harry into Petunia’s care all those years ago, and not once checked in on your godson?”

“I did not want to confuse him,” Severus said.

“You didn’t want any kind of relationship, it would seem,” Dolion said.

“I thought it would be for the best.”

“I’m sure you did. I’m sure you thought abandoning him was the best thing you could do.”

Severus opened his mouth, but he struggled with words, so he closed it and frowned.

“Not until you discovered that this boy was your son,” Dolion said. “Isn’t that right? The DNA tests are nice and all, but you must have had a sneaking suspicion before you even had Harry in your custody. You were quick to send in samples to get results back so soon.”

               Severus held back a sigh as he nodded. He could agree to that, although he was sure it would not look favorably on him.

               “Yes, I did have some suspicions when I brought him to my house, and it was more out of my curiosity that I sent the samples in to be tested. I never thought much of it until I found him and really considered who his father might actually be, as his mother and I did have a relationship not long before she started dating James Potter.”

               “Hmm,” Dolion hummed before pacing in front of the stand. “I had wanted to bring up this picture you took of Harry when you found him. This one here.”

               Dolion held up the picture of Harry covered in soot. Severus nodded, waiting to see what argument Dolion would make of it.

               “You claim to have taken this photo when you brought Harry back to your house and before you called the police.”

               “Yes.”

               “Why didn’t you let the police see Harry like this before washing away all the evidence you may have had?”

               “I wasn’t going to let my son remain in that state waiting until the police arrived. They came several hours later, at a time more appropriate for Harry to be in bed and asleep.”

               “Are you saying the police are incompetent at their job?” Dolion asked. “That they cannot prioritize cases appropriately? Or did you coat Harry in this mess to go along with your story of Harry chimney sweeping long enough to take this picture then washed away the evidence of your chimney soot on your son?”

               “Objection,” Wallace called.

               “Sustained,” the judge said. “Unless you have evidence to back your speculation up, please move on.”

               “One more question, Mr. Snape,” Dolion asked. “Have you ever seen Harry climb a chimney?”

               Severus frowned. Unfortunately, he had yet to see Harry crawl up a chimney, nor did he want to, but Harry had managed to crawl up his chimney and escape his house. Bringing that up in court probably would not look good on him as a parent though.

               “No,” Severus admitted. “I have not.”

               “No? He’s never offered to clean your chimney or do various other chores you claim he was forced to do at the Dursleys’? Habits are rather hard to break.”

               “He asks to do things all the time,” Severus said. “Clean the chimney, make breakfast, clean the bathrooms. He even knows how to work my coffeepot that took me several failed brews to figure out how to use. I allow him to assist me with making meals but I try to keep him busy with other activities kids his age would enjoy more than cleaning or cooking. He is learning how to have fun, something he never really had living with Petunia.”

               “Or is it that he doesn’t actually know how to do many of the things he claims Petunia taught him, which is why you never see him actually do these chores.”

               Severus narrowed his eyes at the accusation that Harry was a liar, but before he could rip the lawyer a new one, Wallace spoke first.

               “Objection,” Wallace said. “Speculating again.”

               “Last warning, counselor,” the judge said.  

               “No further questions.” Dolion smirked before stepping back over to the table with Petunia.

               “The witness may leave the stand,” the judge said. “That’s enough for today. We will resume this case in the morning.”

               Severus sighed as he stepped down from the stand. The judge spoke to the jury reminding everyone that no one is to speak about the case outside of the courtroom and to be present again the next day. Honestly, there was one more testimony remaining, and that was Petunia’s. And while she didn’t have to go on the stand, she insisted, and Severus was sure it was to make herself look as much a victim as Harry. It had been another long day, like yesterday’s events, there were more people called to the stand, the two officers for instance that had taken Harry’s report, and Harry’s original pediatrician had come forward to testify on Harry’s behalf, revealing that he had diagnosed Harry with asthma a couple years back. Then Severus had gone on the stand and finished off the day. Severus was happy for a break. He wasn’t ready to listen to Petunia’s lies yet.

               He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready for that.

               Severus shared a few brief words with Wallace as he slipped his jacket on before he walked down the aisle and left the courtroom. He went straight for the small side room where Harry and Addie were staying. He found the two coloring a picture together. There were two containers of salad with chicken breast, one empty and one half eaten, and Severus saw a third pushed to the side for him. Severus paused to smile at Harry’s half-closed eyes and slouched body as he worked on coloring in a T-rex in a red shade. Harry glanced over at Severus and smiled.

               “Hi, Daddy,” Harry said. “All done?”

               “For today,” Severus said. “Did you get your assignments for school done?”

               “Yeah, and Addie said I did a good job.”

               Addie nodded with a proud smile herself.

               “Solved all his math problems without any of my help. He had a little struggle with his writing but he’s catching on so quickly.”

               “I’m glad to hear,” Severus said as he reached out to pick Harry up. Harry set his coloring aside and lifted his arms obligingly, and Severus settled him on his hip. Harry leaned into Severus’s shoulder, tucking his arms in between himself and Severus. Severus spoke to Addie, “I’m going to him home to bed, it is way past his bedtime. I’ll see you here tomorrow?”

               “Of course,” Addie said, grabbing her coat and putting all of Harry’s things in a folder. “I’ll hold on to these for him. We’ll finish his spelling tomorrow. He’s had all his medicine for tonight.”

               “Thank you,” Severus said. Severus grabbed Harry’s coat and maneuvered it onto Harry before grabbing the container of salad and walking out of the courthouse.

               It was a quiet drive home. Harry fell asleep as soon as he was strapped into his seat and Severus’s thoughts kept straying back to that fateful day that had drastically changed Harry’s life for the worse. Severus felt the familiar guilty tightness in his chest return, all these years later, and he wondered how different things may have turned out if he had kept Harry. Would he still have full custody of Iris? Would he still have lost one child either way? Or could he have managed to keep them both and raise them together, as they should have been all along?

               All these what ifs will never change a thing in the past. What’s done is done. All he could do now was move forward and change Harry’s life once more for the better. He had failed Harry too many times already. That will not happen again.

               Severus carried Harry to bed then quickly crawled into bed himself.

               One more testimony to go.

               Petunia’s testimony.

               Severus tossed and turned that night, worry consuming him. He wasn’t really concerned about losing the case. Wallace said only a fool would fall for these obvious deceptive tactics. No, Severus was concerned about what Petunia might say about Harry to the whole courtroom. He was afraid to hear what she truly thought about Harry. He was sure her aim had been to make Severus and Harry look like the liars and Petunia would play the poor, caring mother who did her best, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t sure if he could keep his mouth shut during her turn. He’d make an honest effort.

               As long as Harry didn’t have to hear it, he could endure it for his son’s sake.