Illicit Affairs by MellarkandArt
Summary: Neglect can be one of the most painful forms of abuse, being ignored by your guardians when all you want is love hurts. No one seems to care if Harry lives or dies so he spends a lot of time wandering around Little Whinging on his own. His friendly neighbor seems to think that this is dangerous. If only someone paid enough attention to Harry to tell him that his neighbor is a little too friendly...
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Original Character, Petunia, Pomfrey, Vernon
Snape Flavour: Snape is Angry, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Loving, Overly-protective Snape
Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Abuse Recovery, Hufflepuff!Harry
Takes Place: 0 - Pre Hogwarts (before Harry is 11), 1st summer before Hogwarts, 1st Year
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Profanity, Rape, Sexual Abuse
Challenges: None
Series: that's the thing about illicit affairs
Chapters: 12 Completed: Yes Word count: 35136 Read: 39770 Published: 20 Jul 2021 Updated: 21 Nov 2021
Confirmations and Confessions by MellarkandArt
“I don’t understand,” Harry said as Severus lifted him up under his armpits and set him onto the hospital bed. “I’m not sick.”

“It’s just a check-up, Mr. Potter,” Severus said, knowing that wasn’t quite it. Well, they were checking for something, just not in the usual sense… “Surely you’ve had one before.”

Harry furrowed his brow and Severus sighed, realizing that no, of course he hadn’t had a check-up before. His relatives had neglected that, just as they had neglected to notice whether or not the child was being molested.

Severus shook his head. Nothing was confirmed yet. He just had read that strange letter. And Harry had said some strange things. And possessed some very strange behaviors. But he was a child, and children were strange. It was a fundamental aspect of their beings.

“Stay here,” Severus instructed, tempted to use a sticking charm to ensure the child’s obedience. He really wasn’t disobedient, though. He was far too obedient at times, really. Severus was simply having an internal crisis, which brought on a need to be in control of everything.

Harry nodded and Severus turned and walked towards the school matron’s office, taking a heavy breath before knocking on the door and entering.

“Severus!” Poppy Pomfrey greeted, though not cheerfully. “Is it one of your snakes?”

Severus shook his head slowly. He only came to the infirmary when he was concerned about a student, usually a Slytherin, or delivering potions. He had just stocked the hospital wing with potions. “Hufflepuff, actually,” he stated softly.

Poppy nodded solemnly. “Who is it?”

Severus sat down in a chair in front of her desk. This would not be an easy conversation. “First year. Harry Potter.”

The matron raised her eyebrows but did not gape or gasp. She’d been in this dreadful business long enough to know that no one was immune to abuse. “Yes, I heard that you took care of him this past month because his home situation wasn’t a good one. I’m surprised it took you this long to bring him to me, I’ve been back from my holiday for a couple of weeks.”

“His relatives were clearly neglectful, but I mixed nutritional potions in with his pumpkin juice at meals. He’s looking better than he was, believe it or not. I hadn’t felt that he needed a complete scan...”

Poppy tsked. “Never hurts, Severus.”

“I know,” Severus sighed. “And you can run one. But that’s not the reason I brought him in.”

“Then what is the main concern?”

Severus crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the wall. How had he even gotten to this point? The last half hour or so had been a bit of a blur, he wasn’t even sure when exactly he had decided that Harry needed to see Poppy, just that they were here now. And he didn’t want to speak about this, didn’t even want to think about it being a possibility, but it was.

“I stumbled across a very disturbing letter addressed to him. It appears to be from an adult male, the child’s neighbor. He seems to be very… friendly with him,” Severus said, giving Poppy a pointed look.

“Oh, my,” Poppy murmured, looking down at her desk. “That is rather concerning. Did you notice anything strange while he was staying with you?”

Severus nodded, though she wasn’t looking at him. “He often had stomach pain due to anxiety, frequently wet the bed… I noticed a rather large bruise on his thigh, on one occasion. He told me he had fallen and I didn’t think much of it, he is a bit clumsy… He spoke of writing to this person a few times, but I hadn’t once considered that he was an adult.”

“I know what you’re thinking, Severus, stop blaming yourself,” said Poppy. “One’s thought process hardly jumps to sexual abuse with these signs. It’s not as though you left him in an abusive environment, either. He has been safe with you.”

“What if he has a disease, and I didn’t-”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Poppy said, standing up. “We don’t even know if anything happened or if there are any lasting results. But… even if my exam shows nothing, you realize that it could still be true? You will have to ask him point-blank.”

Severus grimaced, dreading that moment and the moment of the exam and pretty much every moment from here on out. “Yes, well, either way, this needs to be done.”

Poppy nodded, sighing. “I hate doing this. I’ve had to do it several times now, and it never gets any easier.”

The sexual assault scan was a near painless process, but it still wasn’t pleasant and an emotionally daunting task for the healer. Harry wouldn’t even be aware of what they were scanning for, just experience a bit of a stinging sensation all over.

They exited the office and approached the bed where Harry sat on the edge of, swinging his legs back and forth.

“Hello, Harry,” Poppy greeted the boy with a warm smile. Harry smiled back at her shyly.

“Hi, Madam. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you as well, dearie. Now, Professor Snape here tells me that you need a little checkup. It’s not a difficult process, but I will warn you that it does sting a bit. It’s best to lay down as I run my wand over you.”

Harry frowned and glanced at Severus, who nodded. “It won’t take long, just try to relax.”

He still looked hesitant, but Harry obeyed, lying down flat on the bed. He was stiff and seemed ready to bolt at any moment so Severus pressed his hand against his scarred forehead as Poppy started the scan and Harry squirmed.

Severus stared unseeingly at the stone wall before him as his fingers rubbed circles under the boy’s fringe. “You really are a lot like your mother, you know,” he said, finally speaking of the one thing he had sworn he would never speak of to this child in an effort to distract him. What was the point in hiding it from him, anyway? “She was very… friendly. And excitable…”

“Really?” Harry asked, opening his eyes that had previously been tightly shut. “What house was she in?”

“Gryffindor,” Severus said, sighing. “We knew each other before Hogwarts, grew up in the same neighborhood.”

“Wow,” breathed Harry as he winched. “So you and my mum, and Aunt Petunia…”

Severus clenched his jaw. “Yes, your aunt was often around. She had quite the jealousy streak. Your mother, however…” he softened his features.

“Most people would describe her without flaws, but she was not perfect,” Severus said, smiling slightly. “She hated children, for one thing. ‘I will never, ever, have children, Sev,’ she’d say to me. But then there was you…”

Lily had had Harry so young, and he was perhaps not… planned, but she never regretted him. She and Severus had fallen out in fifth year, but she’d sent him a few letters after school, some of them expressing her love for her son and sharing a few pictures of him.

That was one thing about Lily that remained consistent, she would get so angry when she was wronged, and rightfully so, but she always forgave in her own way. She should have given up on him and Petunia both long ago but chose to try to keep in contact anyway.

One of Severus’ biggest regrets was never responding to her efforts.

“Did… did she really like me?” the boy whispered.

“Oh, child. What did I tell you earlier? She loved you,” Severus said, ruffling his hair a bit. Merlin, he was really getting to the point of no return here.

“Alright, we’re all finished,” Poppy said, smiling tightly as she held a piece of parchment in her hand. That was a bit ominous.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, now, was it?” Severus said. “Let’s get you some dinner while Madam Pomfrey and I go over some things.”

“Uh, alright,” Harry said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Severus called for a house-elf and requested a dinner tray before following Poppy back to her office.

“Well?” Severus questioned quietly, throwing up a privacy spell around them. “How bad is it?”

“Signs of neglect, of course. He is in need of various vaccinations. He is in better shape now than he was a month ago, still… stunted growth. His history suggests physical abuse to a certain extent, many bruises throughout the years, some scarring on various parts of his body.” Poppy sighed, rolling up the parchment.

“There are signs of trauma in the rectum, within the past few months… he has an STI, Severus. Gonorrhea. Very treatable at this stage, he’ll just need to take some antibiotic potions.”

Severus’ stomach dropped. That pretty much confirmed their fears. He looked at Poppy, understanding reflecting in her eyes. He swayed a little on his feet as it all really washed over him, and he sank heavily into a chair by the desk.

He crossed his arms over his knees and planted his face into them, feeling ill. This was sick. Absolutely revolting. How could someone possibly do that to a child?

How had Severus had the child around for a month and not notice anything peculiar? Well, to be fair, he had taken note of many peculiar things but had assumed it was a result of the Dursleys. Before today, he had never even considered anything like this

Never would have imagined something so, so sinister, something so vile...

“He’ll need to be treated,” Poppy murmured, interrupting his disgusted musings. “The STI can be treated orally with the potions, but the trauma to the rec-”

“I know, I know,” Severus said, breathing heavily. “Just- just give me a moment.”

Gary Weatherman. What kind of name was that, anyway? Was he a meteorologist? Why did his name rhyme with Harry’s? Did the author of this sick and twisted story they were living in put any effort into it at all?

Gary Weatherman. Gary Weatherman. Gary Weatherman.

Severus Snape was going to kill Gary Weatherman.

That decided, Severus lifted his head and looked at his companion.

“I think it would be best to put him to sleep,” she said softly. “The discussion can wait until he’s recovered. Physically, at least...”

Severus nodded. “Yes, I believe that would be for the best.”

Poppy bit her lip. “I know that they are not…” she trailed off and took a deep breath before continuing, “Standard procedure is to inform the guardians of this. It’s not law, per se, but it’s-”

“Don’t fret over it, Poppy. They will be informed. I will take care of it.”

Poppy narrowed her eyes. “It’s also standard for the head of house to take responsi-”

“Did I not just say that I would take care of it?” Severus sniped. “I assure you that I will handle the situation with sensitivity and grace. Besides, Tuney and I are old pals. I’m sure that she would appreciate a familiar face to deliver the difficult news.”

Poppy sighed. “Do whatever you think is best, Severus.”

***

Harry woke up feeling groggy and sore, though not quite as sore as usual. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before reaching over for his glasses, unable to bring the room into focus otherwise. He couldn’t seem to find them on the night table, though, and instead knocked over a glass of water, which was strange because he didn’t keep a glass of water on his nightstand.

The cup crashed loudly onto the stone floor and Harry cringed, imagining the mess. He cursed his horrible vision as he stressed over his lack of glasses.

“You would do well to watch your language, Mr. Potter,” he heard a voice say from beside him, causing him to jump. Great, not only had he broken the water glass in front of someone but he had cursed in the presence of an adult. That was never a good idea.

“S-sorry sir,” Harry murmured softly, rubbing fists into his eyes again. “I didn’t realize you were there.”

A snort as someone pressed his glasses into his palm. “That certainly excuses it,” came the voice that Harry now recognized as Professor Snape’s.

Harry flushed as he shoved the frames onto his face, blinking as the room came into focus. Oh, he wasn’t in the Hufflepuff dorm. Now things made a bit more sense. But why was he still in the hospital wing?

He looked over to Professor Snape, eyebrows furrowed. “What time is it?”

“Eleven at night,” the man responded as he waved his wand to clear away the mess of glass on the floor. “I’m surprised you’ve awoken as you took the sleeping potion only four hours ago.”

“Oh,” said Harry. “I don’t remember that. Why am I still here?”

Professor Snape shifted in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. “What do you remember?”

“Er, eating dinner and changing into a hospital gown, I guess,” Harry said. “I thought you told me that it was just a check-up?”

“Yes, well, Madam Pomfrey had to treat you for something so she put you to sleep with the intention of you staying overnight.”

Why?” asked Harry. “I mean, I feel fine.” Actually, if he thought about it, he felt a great deal better now than he had earlier. He had gotten used to always having a bit of pain somewhere and its absence now was just a little unsettling.

Professor Snape stood up and paced the room. He was acting really strange and it made Harry feel a little nervous. “Harry,” he started finally, “we need to talk about something.”

Harry eyed him wearily, fingers absently fiddling with the hospital sheets. It was only the second or third time that Professor Snape had called him by his first name, so he felt more than a little apprehensive about the whole thing. “What is it? Am I like really sick or something?”

The professor sat down again, not looking at Harry. “You were not in perfect health but it’s being taken care of, nothing to worry about. You’ll just have to take some potions for a bit. What we need to talk about is a bit… personal, but I need you to be completely honest with me, do you think you can do that?”

Harry lowered his head as he nodded. He hadn’t lied to the professor before, much, anyway, and even then nothing serious…

“I hope so, because this is a very serious matter and I know you’ve lied to me before,” Professor Snape said.

Harry’s head shot back up. “No I, I haven’t, what are you talking about?”

Professor Snape sighed. “Harry, I’m not angry with you, just listen… you didn’t tell me the truth about the bruise a few weeks ago. You didn’t get it from falling, did you? ‘’

Harry looked away again, face burning with shame. “N-no, sir.”

There was a moment of silence before Harry felt a hand on his own. He jumped slightly, looking at his professor with wide eyes. Professor Snape wasn’t really looking at him, though.

“As a Slytherin, I can hardly blame you for being a bit deceitful. But I’m sure you know by now that honesty is one of Hufflepuff’s finest traits, and I would appreciate the use of it in the future, especially when it comes to matters involving your health.”

“It wasn’t a big deal, it was just a bruise,” Harry defended weakly.

“Allow me to be the judge of that, Harry, please.” Professor Snape’s dark, dark eyes looked into his own then. “Can you tell me how you got it?”

Harry sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “I-I really don’t want to talk about it, sir.”

“I know,” Professor Snape offered, patting his hand a bit awkwardly. “But this… can you tell me more about your… friend? Gary?”

Harry snatched his hand away, pulling it close to his chest as he curled up against the headboard. “What- what does he have to do with anything?”

“I’m concerned that-”

No,” Harry snapped. “There’s nothing to be concerned about. He’s a good friend, he cares about me, he actually wants me around, he-”

Harry,” Professor Snape said, sounding far less angry than he should at this point, but still annoyed. Harry clamped his mouth shut.

There was a long pause as Harry refused to say anything more and Professor Snape seemed to struggle to find his words. It was all so strange and wrong and Harry just wanted to go back to sleep and forget about all of this.

“I don’t doubt that you care about him, Harry. But… has he ever done anything that made you feel uncomfortable?”

Harry shrugged. Yes.

“You know, the headmaster and I are good friends, but he does tend to do things that annoy me or make me uncomfortable. I always let him know when he crosses a line because a friend should know and accept things like that. Has something like that ever occurred between you and your friend?”

Harry hesitated before nodding slowly. He knew that friends often had disagreements and they usually worked them out. Gary and he compromised sometimes, too.

Professor Snape nodded. “A friend should respect your boundaries, don’t you agree?”

“Yeah…”

“Has your friend ever-”

“Gary doesn’t make me do anything I don’t want to do,” Harry bit out. He didn’t! He had never forced anything upon Harry, simply made suggestions that Harry rarely argued with.

“Does he pressure you into those things though?” Professor Snape questioned.

Did he? Well, yeah, kinda… but it wasn’t near as bad as it sounded, really. Harry knew that he could hit the pause button whenever he wanted to. But it was just really difficult to say no to someone who had done so much for him. Harry shrugged again.

Professor Snape blew out a heavy breath. Harry felt like he somehow already knew the answers to the questions he was asking, but he still asked them anyway. “Has he ever touched you in ways that made you feel uncomfortable?”

“Stop,” Harry said, head starting to hurt. “I- I don’t want to talk about this. Like, honestly, Professor, what does this even have to do with anything?”

“It has to do with the fact that-”

“Severus,” a voice interrupted, and Harry looked up to see Madam Pomfrey standing a few feet away from his bed. Professor Snape’s voice had risen quite a bit from it’s previous softness and Harry realized that he had unconsciously shrunk even further away from him.

Professor Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, looking skyward. Or would it be ceiling ward? Either way, he was looking up and away from Harry.

“Harry,” Madam Pomfrey’s soothing voice entered Harry’s ears. She slowly came closer to his bed and crouched down opposite the side that Professor Snape was sitting. “I know that this is rather difficult and confusing for you, but Professor Snape and I only want to help you. We’re not upset with you in any way. We only ask you to be honest with us.”

Harry wrapped his arms around himself, an age old form of self comfort as tears started to form in his eyes. He really did cry a lot and he knew that Professor Snape found it annoying, but he’d never told him that it wasn’t okay to cry. He had even sort of hugged him, once. Was that really only just a few hours ago? He’d also never asked for much from Harry in return, just that he do his best in school, and for his honesty.

Gary asked for a lot of things. Sometimes it was really difficult for Harry to distinguish his feelings for Gary because for the most part, he was so kind to him, but there was that little bit where he-

Positive and negative emotions clashed together so horribly that sometimes Harry forgot that there was even a difference. He had such a hard time distinguishing the good from the bad, it seemed like everything was ugly. But then Gary would give him small comforts in a world that was just so horrible and it made everything feel just a little bit easier.

Harry didn’t know all that much about sex. He knew the basic idea, knew that that was how babies were made and so apparently Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon must to have had it at least once which was a disgusting thought, and he knew that it wasn’t really something kids were supposed to have, but… Gary was just so kind to him that he…

Harry choked on a sob as he nodded his answer to the question that had been asked what felt like years ago. “I didn’t want t-to, but I- I just wanted to make him happy with me, I just wanted him to love me because nobody- nobody has ever-”

He felt hesitant hands on his shoulders then, and he let himself fall into the offer of comfort. He rested his head on the shoulder of his professor as arms enveloped him into a gentle embrace.

“I knew it- I shouldn’t-” Harry rambled on, “but I just wanted someone to-”

“Is it really so hard to believe that someone could care for you just being you, with no need for anything in return?” Professor Snape asked very softly.

Harry nodded, forehead rubbing roughly against robes. It had never happened before. At least Gary had cared at all, Harry had tried so hard to get the Dursleys to love him but he finally realized that nothing he could do would ever get him that.

“Well,” Professor Snape murmured, carding his fingers through Harry’s hair, “I despise children, I’m sure you realize.” Harry let out a wet chuckle before Professor Snape pulled him slightly away to look him in the eyes.

“And yet, I… I care about you, Harry. I care about your health and your happiness. And I would never ask you to do things like Gary asked of you. Love... love is not something that requires something in return. It just is.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Harry whispered, looking away. “But it’s not. It wasn’t. I mean, you weren’t there.”

The arms around him tightened. “I know. But I am now.”
The End.


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