Finding a Father by LilPadfoot16
Past Featured StorySummary: [COMPLETE] What happens when Harry finds out that his father is alive? How about when said father is his hated Potions professor? Harry has to deal with the fact that he is a Snape while trying to cope with Sirus’ death in OotP. Summer before and during sixth year. OotP spoilers. This is in response to Severitus Challenge.
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape > Severitus Challenge Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Suicide Themes, Torture
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 24 Completed: Yes Word count: 97851 Read: 200719 Published: 22 Jan 2005 Updated: 02 Aug 2005
Here's to the Night by LilPadfoot16
Author's Notes:
This Chapter: In which Harry picks a fight and learns a few things about his father that nearly no one knows about.

The next few nights, Harry taught himself curses in preparation for Malfoy. Finally, he thought he was ready. He returned the books to the Restricted Section and the next day, Saturday, he sought out his prey.

He watched the Marauder's Map until he spotted Malfoy walking outside with Crabbe and Goyle. He grabbed his wand and headed down after wiping the map blank. Thankfully Ron and Hermione were too wrapped up in another fight in the Common Room to notice him leaving.

He caught up to Malfoy in a small grove of trees near the Whomping Willow.

“Malfoy!” he yelled. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle all turned around.

“Ditch the goons, we've got a duel to finish,” said Harry.

“Returning to get your arse kicked again, Snape?” mocked Malfoy.

“I wouldn't be so sure of that,” Harry retorted.

“Crabbe, Goyle, go away,” ordered Malfoy. “Remember, you brought this on yourself.” Malfoy smirked at him.

“Ready?”

Harry narrowed his eyes.

“I believe the question is, are you ready?” He let loose his first spell, a skin-melting curse. With that first Dark Spell, Harry began to grow detached from the duel, as though it wasn't really him casting the spells.

He was supposed to feel sick from this, feel horrible at using the kinds of curses that had killed his mum and James, ruined his life. But no, as he let curse after curse fly from his wand, he felt exhilarated, an overwhelming need to keep going, to not stop until he had taken Malfoy down. He couldn't stop until Malfoy was destroyed.

But that time was long in coming. Malfoy kept dodging his spells and sending back ones equally destructive.

As they tired, spells began grazing parts of their bodies. Harry knew he was going to have to get more serious with this. A Flame Hex grazed his shoulder and he glared fiercely at Malfoy.

“Brachium Orthopedium!” he yelled. Malfoy ducked, but as he fell, the spell struck his legs. Harry smirked in satisfaction and stalked over to where Malfoy lay moaning in pain. Harry extended his wand and pointed it at Malfoy's heart.

“Crucio,” he softly uttered, pouting all his anger, his hatred, his fears, into the spell. Harry looked coldly at Malfoy and laughed as the boy screamed in agony.

“Harry!” he heard his name yelled. He remained watching his prey until he found his wand snatched from his hands and the curse ended.

“What do you think you're doing?” asked Snape, anger evident in his tone.

“Getting revenge,” said Harry calmly and held out his hand. “I'd like my wand back now.”

“No,” said Snape as he slipped Harry's wand into his pocket and conjured a stretcher with his own. He levitated Malfoy onto is and then grabbed Harry's arm.

“We are going back up to the castle now,” said Snape.

“Let me go,” growled Harry. He tugged at his arm and tried to free himself, but Snape was too strong. He raised his leg to kick Snape, but quick as a cat, Snape was behind him and had both his wrists pinned behind his back with one hand in a grip so tight he was sure it would leave bruises.

“Harry, I don't know what is going on with you, but I am going to get to the bottom of it,” said Snape. “You are coming back to the castle with me and you will not leave my side for an instant.”

He pulled Harry along with him, Malfoy's stretcher floating behind them. Harry walked in furious silence the whole way back to the castle. Once again, Snape had interrupted his revenge on Malfoy.

They took Malfoy to the hospital wing and Snape set him on a bed.

Madam Pomfrey cam out of her office and asked, “What happened to him?”

“Harry?” prompted Snape. Harry shook his head and began rattling off the curses he could remember using.

“And what about you, Mr. Potter?” she asked, sounding a bit shocked at what they had done to each other. Harry shrugged. At least he had beaten Malfoy. That was what mattered.

“I'll take care of Mr. Malfoy first, since he is so critically injured,:” she said. Harry glared at her. The little ferret didn't need to be healed.

Snape pulled him out of the way and stood with his hand wrapped around Harry's left forearm. Harry flinched at Snape's tight grip. His arm was burning again and Snape was making it worse.

Snape gave him a strange look and slid Harry's sleeve up. Harry tried to pull away, but it was too late. Snape had already seen the mark, which was darker and had a faint green tint to it.

Snape took a deep breath and asked, “Harry, where did you get this?”

Harry answered truthfully, “I don't know.”

He reached out a hand and rubbed at the mark, which was warm to the touch. The skin around it was red and inflamed.

“Do not let Madam Pomfrey see that,” said Snape quietly and tugged his sleeve down.

Harry kept staring at his arm. He could see the mark in his mind, though it was covered completely. Did this make him a Death Eater now? Was he condemned to be evil forever?

Harry felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what he'd done. All because of Malfoy. He had allowed himself to be provoked and look what had happened. He had used Dark spells.

Malfoy looked close to death, but he couldn't bring himself to enjoy it. He was marked again by Voldemort.

The edges of his vision seemed to tunnel in and he was vaguely aware of being picked up and placed on a bed. A cool cup was held to his lip and he drank without thought. His vision slowly cleared, but his mind was still reeling.

“My God, what have I done?” he whispered. He stared at Malfoy's still body. He had done that. He had fought with and tortured Malfoy. He was the reason Malfoy looked like that.

He shuddered and pulled his knees up to his chest. He shivered as he watched Madam Pomfrey work on Malfoy. He felt a blanket being wrapped around him, but it didn't do him any good. He wasn't shivering from cold. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he stared unseeingly at Malfoy's still form.

~Snape's POV~

Snape carefully wrapped a blanket around Harry. He was shivering unmercilessly as he sat scrunched up on the bed.

“Harry?” Harry made no motion to show that he had heard, just stared straight ahead at Malfoy.

Merlin, Harry had done a number on him. Harry didn't look quite so bad off as Malfoy, but he hadn't had both his legs shattered and cursed with Cruciatus. He passed a hand over Harry's eyes, but Harry remained motionless.

“Madam Pomfrey, I think you need to look at Harry,” said Snape.

“Just a minute, Severus,” said Madam Pomfrey. She finished up with Malfoy and then came over and looked at Harry.

“Mr. Malfoy will be fine once he---Sweet Merlin!” She snapped her fingers in front of Harry's face. When that failed to elicit a response from Harry, she lit her wand and moved it back and forth in front of Harry's eyes.

“He's in shock,” she declared and collected a potion from a cupboard along the wall.

She tipped Harry's head back and poured the potion in his mouth, then stroked his throat to make him swallow it. Several minutes later, Harry began to show signs of coming back to reality. He blinked his eyes and his breathing began to speed up again.

“Calm down, Harry,” said Snape. “He's going to be fine.” Harry closed his eyes and began breathing slowly and deeply.

“What's going to happen to me?” he asked, almost pleadingly.

“What?” The question struck him as strange. Even with Dumbledore holding some much hope for Malfoy he wouldn't have Harry condemned to Azkaban.

“I used an Unforgiveable. I'm going to Azkaban, aren't I?” said Harry in a small voice.

“Dumbledore won't send you to Azkaban, I'm sure of it,” said Snape. Harry looked down at his knees.

“If you say so,” he muttered. Madam Pomfrey came around to treat Harry and blocked Snape's view. Snape smeared bright orange burn paste on Harry's shoulder, then looked him over for any other injuries.

“You may go now,” said Madam Pomfrey once she finished. Harry got off the bed without a word.

Snape took his arm and the two of them walked out together. Snape led Harry down to his office, and once inside, Snape shut and warded the door.

“Sit,” he said quietly and took a seat at his own desk.

~Harry's POV~

Harry sat down and waited to be yelled at for being so stupid.

Instead, Snape handed his wand back to him and said, “Hold it up.” Snape touched the tip of his own wand to it, and the room was silent for a moment. Snape then put his own wand away and Harry lowered his.

“Do you have any idea what you have done?” asked Snape quietly. Harry looked down.

“No, not really,” he admitted.

Snape stood and paced back and forth behind his desk, appearing to be debating something. Snape came out from behind his desk and seated himself facing Harry.

“I was your age when I cast my first Unforgiveable,” said Snape, sounding remorseful. “I'd been using Dark Curses for years before that. It was all in preparation for the Dark Lord's service. I wanted to join so badly that I threw away any chance of happiness that I might have had, including your mum. When your mum came to me that night in the bar, I knew that would be my last chance for happiness. I'd shunned her before, and when she gave herself to me, it was too late. I was unredeemable. I was so ingrained in the Dark Arts that no one could pull me out, until Dumbledore took me under his wing. He had hope for me, much as he has hope for Malfoy, though I had done unspeakable wrongdoings. I will not let you go down the same path I went. There is so much out there for you, and I won't let you give that up.”

He stood back up and walked to the other side of his office.

“I don't want you doing any more research on the Dark Arts, and I definitely don't want you casting any more of them. Every time you cast one, it takes away a small piece of your soul and replaces it with something inherently evil. If you keep doing this, you will end up just like Voldemort. You will be the next Dark Lord. Is that what you want for yourself?”

“No,” said Harry meekly. He looked down again, feeling very ashamed of himself.

“It's going to take time, but you will get over this. As time goes on, the evil will fade from your soul. You will recover from this,” Snape assured him. Snape came back over and examined the Dark Mark on his arm.

“This too will fade in time,” said Snape. “You have no idea where it came from?”

He knew when, but he didn't know how he had gotten one.

“Well, I had a vision the other night,” said Harry.

“Tell me everything that happened in it,” urged Snape.

“I was Voldemort in the vision. There was a Death Eater meeting. I think all the new recruits were there. There were nine of them. Voldemort had them all come forward and remove their masks. He had Malfoy come over to him and he gave Malfoy the Dark Mark. I could feel it too, and then I woke up.”

Snape ran his hands over the ugly marking.

“Yes, this should fade, once you've gotten away from everything evil,” said Snape.

Harry winced as he touched a particularly sore spot.

“There isn't anything I can do for you for the moment. The Mark is designed to reject all other magic except the Dark Lord's. You can't even use potions on it. Just keep it covered and don't let anyone else see, not even your closest friends.”

He pulled Harry's sleeve back down and retreated to lean on his desk.

“Is this the only vision you've had?” asked Snape.

“Yes, I've just been so distracted that I let my guard down,” said Harry apologetically.

“That's all right,” said Snape. “You just need to be careful.”

He went to the door and removed the wards.

“You can go now, but I expect Dumbledore will want to speak to you at one point, as I'm going to speak to him shortly about Mr. Malfoy. I'm fairly certain there is something in the Hogwarts bylaws that states that known Death Eaters cannot stay here,” said Snape. “Will you be all right walking up to the Tower by yourself?”

“Yeah,” said Harry. He stood and pocketed his wand. He headed for the door, but before opening it to leave, he stopped and looked back.

“Thanks for understanding, dad,” said Harry and left.

“You're welcome, Harry,” he heard Snape say softly behind him.

Harry walked slowly up to Gryffindor Tower, his mind still reeling from all that had occurred, and it wasn't even noon yet. He could barely fathom what Snape had told him about being a Death Eater.

Harry realized that if Snape hadn't become one, his mum would probably still be alive, and she would have been with Snape. He would have had a real family and not have grown up with the Dursleys.

It was then that he remembered Dumbledore's words from his first year.

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.”

He wouldn't do that. He had to keep going for the family that he did have. He still had his father, who wasn't about to let anything happen to him. He had his friends too. They would keep him safe too.

He would need all the help he could get once Malfoy was out of the hospital wing, especially since he wasn't supposed to use any more Dark Magic.

He rubbed at his left arm, wishing that the mark would go away. It wasn't going to just go away, he knew that.

He met up with Ron and Hermione while walking down the fifth floor corridor. Hermione looked pleased with herself and Ron slightly sulky.

“Harry, there you are!” said Hermione. “We were just going to the library. Want to come?”

“Sure,” said Harry. He might as well get some of his work done.

The whole way there, Harry felt strangely exposed, as though any minute, Ron or Hermione would demand to see his arm. He was careful to make sure his sleeve stayed down and his arm completely covered. He couldn't concentrate on the book he was reading and kept shifting his glance to his arm.

“Harry, are you all right?” asked Hermione.

“Yeah,” said Harry and pulled his hand under the table.

That was right. Keep his hand where there was no chance of anyone seeing it. If Ron and Hermione found out about it, they would hate him forever. He couldn't let them see it.

But how long was it going to take to fade? He couldn't go on hiding it like this forever. There had to be a more fool-proof way of hiding the mark. If he covered it with a concealment charm, then he wouldn't have to worry about someone seeing it all the time.

He closed his book and pushed it towards Ron and Hermione, then said, “I've got to go.”

“What?” asked Hermione, but Harry was already leaving the library.

He walked quickly up to his dormitory and his inside the curtains that surrounded his bed. He rolled up his sleeve and pulled out his wand. He whispered a concealment charm and yelped as pain flared in his arm.

“Shite,” he muttered, rubbing his arm. The mark was still there, just as dark and foreboding as it had been. He tried several more charms to try and conceal the mark, but they all resulted in more jolts of pain.

He threw down his wand in disgust and contemplated just cutting his skin off with the dagger. That would be even more hard to explain, though. So that idea was out.

He gasped as horrible, burning pain shot up and down his arm. He clasped his hand to the mark and saw that the mark had turned a darker green. He closed his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth.

Was Snape feeling this too? How did he go through it without going mad?

“Harry?”

Harry was too distracted by the pain to register Ron's voice or to notice as Ron's head poked through the curtains. The pain in his arm finally ended and Harry looked up to see Ron's horrified face.

“Harry, y-you've g-got…” he stammered, backing away.

“Listen Ron, it's not what it looks like,” said Harry quickly.

“I know exactly what that is. It's the Dark Mark!” said Ron loudly. “You're a Death Eater!” Harry jumped off his bed.

“I am not!”

“You have the Dark Mark! It's right there on your arm!” yelled Ron. “You are a Death Eater!”

“Ron, let me explain,” pleaded Harry.

“No, I don't want to hear your explanations,” said Ron and ran out of the room.

Shite. Now Ron was going to tell everyone. He groaned out loud.

Snape was going to kill him.

The End.
End Notes:
Next Chapter: Chapter 19: Come What May


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