Harry felt dizzy after the second vial, slightly unsteady after the third. By the time he got to the fourth one, black spots were dancing across his vision.

‘He'd never had this many at once,' he thought as he tumbled onto his bed. ‘Not even when he'd been caught in the Astronomy Tower.'

His room spun around his eyes as he lay back on his bed. His heart beat faster and he began to wonder if this had been a mistake. He should have gone about this a different way. But it was too late….

~Snape's POV~ Snape was straightening up his office when he heard tapping on his window. Who would be sending a letter to him now? He opened the window and Harry's owl flew in, carrying a letter and looking distraught. He held out an owl treat and removed the letter from her leg.

‘Ron and Hermione,' was written on the outside in Harry's messy handwriting. He opened the letter and began to read.

‘Dear Ron and Hermione,

I don't know if it will do any good to say again that I'm not a Death Eater, so I'm not going to even try. Instead, I want to tell you how sorry I am. I want to say how sorry I am that I wasn't strong enough, good enough, powerful enough to be the hero everyone wanted me to be.

I'm just Harry. I don't want to be the Boy-Who-Lived. I just want to be me. I'm not worthy of everyone's love, admiration, or trust if even you two can't believe that I'm not siding with Voldemort.

And that's why I want to make my final goodbyes to you both. I wish that we could have been friends 'til the end of this, but I can't have that. I don't deserve that.

Make sure you tell Ginny goodbye too and that she was a great friend, even if she couldn't save me from this. And now, I say goodbye and I won't be seeing you.

Yours, Harry

‘Shite,' Snape thought. Harry hadn't gone and done something stupid, had he? He shoved the letter in his robe pocket and raced to Harry's room. He pushed open the door and slowed as he saw Harry seemingly asleep on his bed.

He walked over to tuck Harry in, but stopped short as he realized that Harry wasn't asleep. His eyes were half open, and his breathing fast and shallow.

“Harry, what happened?” asked Snape.

Harry gave a lazy half-smile and said, “Dunno.”

“Why are you acting like this?” asked Snape.

“Did Voldemort do something to you again?” asked Snape.

“No,” said Harry with a slight frown. “He doesn't like me being happy….” Harry kept talking, but Snape wasn't listening.

‘Happy.'

Something clicked into place in his brain.

‘Humeur Ascenseur.'

“Harry did you take more of Humeur Ascenseur?” asked Snape urgently.

“Ewe what?” asked Harry confusedly.

“The pink potion,” clarified Snape.

“Oh, that one…. maybe…” said Harry slowly.

Snape's eyes roamed about the room and lit on four empty vials and a fifth full one. Snape snatched them up and waved them in front of Harry's face.

“Did you drink whatever was in these vials?” asked Snape. Harry reached up an arm to bat them away, but missed and his arm fell to the bed again.

“Maybe,” he said. Snape dropped the vials onto Harry's bedside table and summoned a potion to make Harry vomit. If he was lucky, there would be some of the potion in Harry's stomach that hadn't been absorbed yet, and he could rid Harry of it. The rest would have to run its course, as it had when Harry had taken the potion before.

When he raised the potion to Harry's lips, the boy tried to cover his face, but Snape merely pushed his arm aside and poured the potion into Harry's mouth. He covered Harry's mouth and nose until he had swallowed the potion and waited for it to take effect.

He didn't have to wait long; in minutes, Harry pressed his hands to his stomach and was trying in vain to keep from throwing up. He finally gave up and rolled to the side of the bed and was sick over the side of it.

Snape vanished the mess and returned his attention to Harry. His face was now flushed and covered with a light sheen of sweat. Harry wrapped his arms around himself as he gasped for breath.

“What were you thinking?” whispered Snape as he brushed Harry's hair off his sweaty forehead. Harry moaned softly and curled up more.

He could take care of Harry; he knew that. He didn't really want to Floo Madam Pomfrey for assistance; that would most likely require Harry be brought back to Hogwarts. Snape wanted to keep Harry at the house. After all, it had been Harry's wish to come here for the holidays. He would help Harry on his own, he decided.

Snape noticed that Harry's breathing was starting to quicken more and summoned the same potion he'd given Madam Pomfrey when this had happened before. He quickly poured the potion into Harry's mouth and forced him to drink it. Harry was too exhausted by then from fighting the potion to put up much of a fight, though.

Harry suddenly relaxed and opened his eyes the rest of the way, but he didn't look at Snape. His eyes roamed around, taking in something Snape couldn't see as his lips moved soundlessly. Then, just as suddenly, Harry's eyes snapped shut and his deeper breathing indicated that he had fallen asleep.

Snape carefully pulled a thin blanket over Harry and cast a charm to alert him when Harry woke. He closed the door halfway behind him and headed down to his office. He had a letter of his own to write.

Harry hadn't shared explicit details with him, but he heard enough from the other professors and saw enough himself to deduce that Harry's friends truly thought him a Death Eater. Well, if they were the reason Harry had snapped and taken that potion again in order to kill himself, then they deserved to see what had originally been meant for their eyes.

But he wouldn't owl it directly to them. No, he would provide a Portkey to an empty room on the second floor where he would leave them to read it, and then, they could see what they had done to Harry.

Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley,

This letter is a Portkey that will take you to an undisclosed location two minutes after you receive it. I wish for you to see something; you shall be returned to your present location when I am finished with you. Bring no one else with you.

Professor Snape

He folded the letter and sealed it, then spelled it as a Portkey. He then tied it to his own owl's leg and sent if off. By the time they received the missive Harry would probably be stable.

Forty minutes later, he heard a distinct ring in his head that meant the two Gryffindors had arrived. He had already placed a copy of the letter Harry had written in the room. He would give them about ten minutes to read it, and then he would go collect them to go see Harry.

He waited the ten minutes impatiently and then headed down the hall. It was kind of cruel to do this to them, especially with Harry in this state, but it would do the two of them good to see what they had done. He shoved the door open and Hermione dropped the piece of parchment she was holding with a squeal of surprise.

Ron had his arms wrapped around Hermione and sparkling tears made their way down the girls' face. Snape felt no remorse for letting them think that Harry was dead. It would be good for them to see what they had done to Harry.

He stared coolly at the two and said, “Come with me.” Neither moved.

“Professor, I... we… we're--”

“Do be quiet, Miss Granger,” said Snape. “Now, let's go.”

They followed him that time, down the hall to where Harry still slept. He carefully opened the door and led the way in. He was treated to another of Hermione's irritating squeals.

“Sir, he--he did… what he said in--” stammered Ron.

“Of course he did, you idiot,” snapped Snape.

He abruptly turned around and all but shoved the irritating Gryffindors back into the hall. He pulled the door shut behind them and moved away from it.

“See what your idiocy has done?” he hissed angrily.

“We're really sorry,” started Hermione but Snape held up a warning hand.

“You want to know what happened to him?” asked Snape. He received two tiny nods in return. “Come down to my office, then.”

He led the way there too and pointed to two chairs in front of his desk. He sat down behind his desk and stared at the duo.

“That mark on Harry's arm was not placed there by choice. Apparently, Draco Malfoy placed a spell on Harry that would make him susceptible to curses from the Dark Lord through their connection. During Malfoy's Dark Mark Rite, the spell was transferred to Harry. In doing so, he was marked as a Death Eater. I believe the plot may have been to get Harry expelled so that they could get a hold of him. He is ‘not' a Death Eater, nor should you have ever believed he was. And your abandonment of him has led to this,” said Snape.

The two Gryffindors were stunned into silence.

“You are both very lucky that the potion he ingested did not contain enough belladonna to kill him.” Hermione's eyes widened, but Ron looked completely clueless.

“Do you not ever bring your brain into my class, Mr. Weasley?” snapped Snape. “Belladonna, otherwise known as Deadly Nightshade, if taken in a large enough dose, will cause your heart to speed up to the point where your lungs cannot keep up with the demand for oxygen. Starved of oxygen, your body's functions will slow down until they cease to work. Add that to the other ill effects of the potion he took, and you have a lethal combination. Harry was lucky he didn't have anymore of the potion. Now, did that answer all of your questions?”

“Just one more sir, if you will,” said Hermione.

“Well?” he pressed when she remained silent.

“Will Harry be all right?” she asked timidly.

“Yes, no thanks to the two of you,” said Snape.

“Can we come back and visit him?” asked Ron.

“Perhaps, now take this,” said Snape and held out an old, battered quill.

Ron and Hermione took hold of it and within seconds, were gone from his office. Snape picked up a quill from his desk and tapped it idly against the desk.

They had seemed remorseful enough, with even requesting to visit. He would have to wait and see, he reasoned. And if they did something like this again… well, even Merlin wouldn't be able to help them.

~Harry's POV~ Harry stirred slightly from his light sleep. He could have sworn he'd heard voices in his room. He must have imagined it, like he'd imagined seeing those glittering stars dance around his room earlier.

He felt better than he'd felt when Snape had found him. At least, his chest had stopped feeling like it would explode. His muscles still ached and he could feel a pounding headache coming on.

He was tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not like this. Not with that horrible guilty feeling weighing down on his conscience.

He heard the door open and his name called softly by Snape. As soon as he heard the man's voice, he felt even worse. He closed his eyes tightly and pretended to be asleep. He couldn't face Snape after giving in to the voice like that, after destroying all the progress he'd made with battling his depression and his addiction to that potion.

He heard a quiet tinkling sound near his head and assumed it to be the potion vials Snape had set there earlier.

“Harry?” said Snape softly. Harry continued to feign sleep and didn't respond. Snape was going to be angry that he wasn't strong enough to resist the voice. He heard a quiet sigh and then a click as the door was shut.

Harry opened his eyes and surveyed the room. He didn't see Snape anywhere and sat up slowly. As he did so, he felt a wave of lightheadedness that almost made him decide to lie back down.

Instead, he steadied himself with both hands. When he was recovered, he stood up and grabbed a clean outfit to change into. When he pulled the clothes out of a drawer, a bundle of silvery material fell out with them.

‘Perhaps it would be best to avoid Snape for a while,' he thought as he set the Cloak down on his bed and changed his clothes. He tossed his dirty clothes aside and picked up the Invisibility Cloak. The thin material ran like water between his hands as he wondered what to do.

Finally, he decided to wear it. If he was seen by Snape, he would have to answer his questions, questions that he wasn't ready to answer. He wasn't ready to even talk to Snape at all at the moment.

‘It would be better to be able to wander around unseen,' he thought as he pulled the Cloak over himself. He opened the door partially and slipped out, then pulled the door shut behind him. He wandered downstairs to the library, thinking that it would be an ideal place to hide out for a while.

He grabbed a book off a shelf as he passed it and headed to the very back of the library. He settled down on a chair in a corner between two shelves where he wouldn't be seen and opened the book he had selected.

It was called ‘Potions for the Mind, Body, and Soul.' It sounded interesting enough, so he flipped to the first page and started to read. He skipped over some of the more boring potions and marked a few with bits of parchment he found in the pocket of his jeans.

They would be good practice and would be something to do while he was hiding from Snape. And all of them were safe to make and take, especially considering he'd had a few of them already.

After several hours of paging through the book, Harry closed it and slipped his cloak back over his book. He walked back to his room and sat on the bed after stowing away both cloak and book and picking out one of his schoolbooks.

He pretended to be perusing it as the door opened and Snape came in bearing a tray of various foods. Harry kept his eyes firmly fixes on the book and didn't respond when Snape spoke to him.

“I brought you some lunch, Harry,” said Snape. Harry heard the tray being set down and Snape coming over to the bed.

“Are you all right, Harry?” asked Snape concernedly. Harry flipped to the next page and continued reading.

“Why won't you talk to me?” asked Snape. Harry adjusted the book in his lap and smoothed out the page he was looking at. He felt a hand descend on his shoulder and squeeze lightly.

“I'll be in my office if you wish to talk,” said Snape softly and Harry heard his retreat. Hot tears prickled his eyes and the page before him blurred.

He rubbed his eyes with his fists, feeling horrible. He couldn't look into Snape's eyes and see the disappointment that was sure to be there. He couldn't face living proof of how stupid he had been.

He turned to the table that held the tray and took a small bite of one of the sandwiches. Finding he had no appetite, he set it back down and took a sip of whatever was in the goblet. He found that it was pumpkin juice and took another sip, then sat that down too.

He got the potion book out again and after looking at it a moment, left his room with it and headed down to the potions lab he had found during the summer.

When he walked in, he resolutely ignored the spot where he knew the rest of the pink potion was hidden and went straight to a table, where he set up to brew a Strengthening Draught. An hour later, the potion was complete. It was not as bright of red as the book had said it would be, but it looked like it would work, and Harry bottled the potion feeling satisfied. He hid the potion in an empty cupboard near the door, as well as the book he was using.

Harry went back to his room, where he sat down on his bed again with the Charms textbook. The tray was gone, Harry assumed that Snape had come and gotten it. He didn't think he could ever face the man again. He just didn't know what to say to Snape.

Then a thought popped to the forefront of his mind: he did have someone else he could talk to about this. Harry put the book down and went over to his desk. He pulled out parchment and a quill and began to write…

Dear Ginny,

You remember that potion I told you about, the one that I got addicted to? When I got home, I found the vials I had left of it and drank them. I thought it would be a way to get Ron and Hermione back for not believing me.

I knew it was wrong, but the voice kept insisting that it would work, that everything would be fine.

My dad saved me, but I can't talk to him about it. I know he's disappointed with me for giving in.

I don't want to burden you, but I thought you might be able to help.

Yours, Harry

Harry sent the letter off a bit hesitantly, afraid of letting Ginny know. But it would be all right, he told himself. She knew about everything else already.

He settled back down with his book, and when Snape came in with another tray, he was too absorbed to notice. He felt Snape touch his shoulder and jumped slightly.

“Harry, please look at me,” pleaded Snape.

Harry closed his eyes tightly and remained still with a guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't face Snape, he just couldn't. Harry felt the hand removed and Snape's footsteps recede, then the door being closed softly.

Harry ate one of the sandwiches, though he still had no appetite, and as he was poking at the pudding with his fork, Hedwig flew through his window with a letter. He dropped the fork and took the letter from Hedwig, who flew off again. He unfolded the parchment and found Ginny's neat handwriting.

Dear Harry,

You're never a bother, don't think that for an instant. I'll equate your potion problem with my Voldemort one. You'll probably always be haunted by it, as I am by the memory of Tom Riddle. It'll get easier with time, believe me.

Your dad isn't going to be disappointed by that. As he is a Potions Master, he'll know the temptation you face better than anyone. Talk to him. I'm sure he wants to help you in any way he can.

As for Ron and Hermione, I don't know what happened to them, but it looks like someone gave them a serious reality check. They've both been really subdued since the day they left for a couple of hours.

Just keep fighting the evil and please, go talk to your dad. It will help, I swear.

Yours, Ginny

Harry put the letter down and bowed his head. Those voices he'd thought he'd imagined, he hadn't. They'd been Ron and Hermione. And now they knew everything.

Ginny's letter felt like a punch to his stomach. She always managed to tell things like they were with just a few simple sentences. Everything she'd said was true. He needed to listen to her advice and talk to Snape, though the voice in his head was still saying not to.

Harry heard the door to his room open again. Footsteps found their way over to his bed and he felt a hand forcing his face up, making him look into Snape's dark eyes.

“We need to talk,” said Snape firmly. Harry bit his lip and gave a tiny nod. It would be best to get this over and done with.