Harry flopped down on his bed and stared angrily at his hands. Tiny droplets of blood were oozing from the marks left by his nails. He gingerly touched on and hissed in pain.

Okay, that was stupid, thought Harry. Maybe he should take the Sleeping Potion, like Snape had suggested. He turned to the table beside his bed, where he knew the potion was located and narrowed his eyes at the small, square mirror that was lying beside several vials of the potion.

He picked it up and tried to break it, but it refused to even crack. He ran a finger along one edge and found that it wasn’t even sharp on the sides. He stared angrily at the mirror, recalling several times when he’d talked to Snape through it.

“Stupid mirror, stupid Snape,” he muttered before throwing it across the room. There was a muffled thud as the mirror hit the carpet. It must be charmed to be indestructible, thought Harry with disgust. He grabbed one of the vials and drank the nasty-tasting potion it contained. He lay down and fell asleep instantly.

“Harry.” Where was that voice coming from?

“Harry.” Why wouldn’t the voice go away? He wanted to sleep.

“Go ‘way,” he mumbled and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow.

“Come on Harry. You need to wake up. I have to talk to you,” said the voice. The voice sounded as though it were fading away.

Then he heard a different voice say, “Perhaps the formula is too strong. We’ll have to let him sleep it off.” As the voices faded away, Harry drifted back into sleep. He was awoken by the scratching of a quill and voices speaking softly.

“I think I have it. Lupin, if you would excuse me, I need to try this.”

“Go right ahead.” So Professor Lupin had returned. Better him than Snape. Harry heard the door close gently, then opened his eyes. He could see a slightly fuzzy Professor Lupin sitting in a chair near his bed, reading a book. Harry sat up and leaned against the bed. He was surprised at how heavy his limbs felt. Professor Lupin stood up and set his book down on the chair. He came over to stand by Harry’s bed.

“Hello, Harry,” said Professor Lupin.

“Hello professor,” said Harry. He couldn’t help adding, “What are you doing here?”

“Professor Snape asked me to come here and talk to you. That will have to wait until that potion wears off. It appears the dosage was too high for you,” said Lupin. Oh, so that’s why he felt so tired. Harry nodded as his eyes slipped closed.

The next time he awoke, he was feeling much more alert. He opened his eyes and felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his head. He closed his eyes again and pressed his hands over them. The pain was gone in a few minutes and when Harry opened his eyes again, he could see better than before.

That was weird, he thought as he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He studied his reflection in the mirror. Something was definitely different about his face, but he could figure out exactly what was different. At least he hadn’t changed much. Then, his mum’s words came back to him.

‘…the disguise would only last until your sixteenth birthday. After that, you would gradually change to look like your father…’ Oh hell, the changes weren’t over.

If it was going to hurt so much every time, he rather just stay the way he was. He’d rather not be a little Snape-clone. Ron would freak out if Harry was an exact replica of Snape like he’d been an exact replica of Hanes. Maybe he should owl his friends and tell them so they would have more time to get used to the idea before seeing him. He’d have to ask Snape about that. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone.

“Harry, where are you?” Professor Lupin.

“In here,” called Harry. He turned around to see Lupin poke his head in the doorway. He headed out of the bathroom and Lupin took a step backwards.

“What?” asked Harry.

“You look…different. I’m not sure how,” said Lupin, staring intently at him. “Not much difference, not really. You just look…I don’t know what to call it…Snape-ish.”

Harry just shrugged and headed back to his room, where he noticed a small box sitting on his bed. He sat down and saw that the box was full of vials of the bright orange Dreamless Sleep potion that Snape had created.

“Professor Snape sent these up with me. There should be enough to last until the beginning of term. They’re all single doses,” said Lupin.

“Okay,” said Harry as he picked a vial out of the box and examined it. Now that he could see the liquid clearly, he saw that there were tiny blue flecks floating in the orange. He wondered what was in it that made it different from regular Dreamless Sleep potion. He’d have to go check out the library and see if there were any Potions books in there. Knowing Snape, there would be plenty.

“Harry, the reason I’m here is because your father asked me to talk to you, since you refuse to talk to him,” said Lupin. Harry said nothing.

Interesting that he said father. Lupin wouldn’t understand what Snape had done, but he’d probably agree with him.

“Would you like to tell me why you’re so upset with your father?” asked Lupin.

“No,” said Harry shortly as he put the vial back in the box. He stood up and put the box on the table by his bed and walked out of the room, leaving Lupin shocked behind him. He walked down the hallway and almost ran into Snape. He muttered an apology and continued down the hall. Neither man called for him to come back. He stopped when he heard a door close and voices begin to talk loudly. He turned around and walked back to his room, where the voices were coming from.

“…giving him that potion isn’t going to solve everything.”

“I know that, but it will at least get rid of one of his problems. He doesn’t need to have nightmares every night reminding him of everything that happened to him this summer.”

“He needs to talk to someone instead of bottling up his feelings like he always does when something happens to him. He’s hurting Severus! Can’t you see that?”

They were talking about him. Harry didn’t want to hear any more and headed to the library again. Once in the library, he spotted several bookshelves that were labeled Potions texts in Snape’s spiky handwriting. He grabbed a couple of books and headed to a corner to look at them. He sat down on the floor and picked up the first book in the pile. Moste Potente Potions.

He remembered that book as the one that Hermione had gotten out of the Restricted Section in their second year so that they could make Polyjuice Potion. It was bound to have something interesting in it. He flicked through the pages, then smiled as he found a potion that would be quite useful to him.

It was called Humeur Ascenseur, a mood-lifting potion. He scanned the instructions quickly and saw that he could get most of the ingredients himself. But where would he make it?

Snape was a Potions Master, he was sure to have a laboratory somewhere. Maybe in the basement, where he’d been before that fateful Diagon Alley trip. He carefully marked his page in the book and headed to the doorway to see if there was anybody there. No one was in the hallway and he could hear voices faintly coming from his room. Snape and Lupin were still arguing, he thought as he headed downstairs to the basement.

He tried several doors which were locked before finding an unlocked on where he had found the knife. He opened the door to find what looked like an unused potions laboratory. Glass jars filled with ingredients lined the walls and an assortment of cauldrons were stacked near the doorway. Harry set the book down on a table that was standing in the middle of the room. He picked out a cauldron and began gathering the ingredients that he would need. He had to suppress a laugh when he thought of the look on Snape’s face if he found out that Harry was willingly making a potion. He’d probably die of shock.

American Ginseng, Black Cherry Bark, Blackberry Leaves, Chinese Blackberry Fruits, Eleuthero Roots, English Lavender, Ginkgo, Lemon Fruit, Rosebud Petals, Arnica, Cayenne Pepper, Wormwood, Belladonna, Fluxwood, Shrivelfigs, Unicorn Hair, Porcupine Quills.

Harry set the last ingredient down and got to work. An hour later, the potion was complete and had cooled. It was the exact shade of purplish pink that the book had said it would be, and Harry began pouring it into vials to take up to his room and hide from Snape. He bottled most of the potion and hid it behind the stack of cauldrons, then headed upstairs with several vials stuffed in his pocket.

He entered his bedroom and was pleased to see that Snape and Lupin had vacated it. He stuck the vials under the bottom drawer of his desk with the knife that he had hidden before after taking a tiny sip of the potion. He lay down on his bed, once the potion vials were safely hidden feeling slightly floaty. It made him feel as though he had been smoking Muggle cigarettes.

Funny how a simple potion could make him want to go out and try to kill Voldemort right that second… He savored the feeling of freedom from all his worries, all his cares. Such a nice potion, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

He awoke some time later to find sunlight streaming through his window. He climbed out of bed feeling surprisingly energetic, but the floaty feeling he’d had before was gone. He changed his clothes and headed out of his room. Near the stairs he passed Snape.

“Hello sir,” said Harry.

“Feeling better, Harry?” asked Snape.

“Yep,” said Harry brightly.

“Lupin has returned to Headquarters. He seems to feel that we should work out our problems on out own. You look quite fine to me, though,” said Snape. Well, he had fooled the oh-so-inquisitive­ Potions Master. If he had done that, then he could fool anyone.

“You need to get ready to leave. Lupin, though he wishes not to stay here and help, has arranged a surprise for you,” said Snape.

“Okay,” said Harry. He turned around and went back to his room. He took a sip of the potion and grabbed his jacket, then went back to where Snape was standing by the stairs.

“Portkey,” said Snape, holding out a quill. Harry put a finger on it and they disappeared in a swirl of colors.

They arrived in the last place he expected Snape, well, actually Lupin, to take him to. Grimmauld Place. They arrived in the living room and when he stood up, he could see Ron, Hermione, and Ginny seated on a couch, each reading a book.

“I shall be in the kitchen. We’re having an Order meeting. Do not interrupt unless one of you is dead, dying, or in mortal peril. Got it?” said Snape.

“Yes, sir,” said Harry. His friends looked up at the sound of Snape’s voice and saw him.

“Harry!” squealed Hermione. She ran to him and hugged him tightly. Ginny hugged him too, but not as tight and when she released him, her face was pink.

“Hey mate,” said Ron. “Heard about where you’re staying. Rotten luck, that is.”

“Better than here, though,” said Harry. He didn’t like being here, but he didn’t have a choice.

Apparently they didn’t want him to be left alone in the house and had decided to let him see his friends while they were having their meeting. Kill two birds with one stone. Keep Harry happy, and keep him from hearing any information.

“But Snape?” asked Ron with disgust.

“He’s not so bad,” said Harry. He wondered why he wasn’t telling his friends the truth.

“Still…” said Ron.

“Really, he’s not so bad when he’s not around the Slytherins.”

“And when he’s out of a job,” added Ginny.

“What?” asked Harry.

“Fred and George’s new Extendable Ears have had their uses. We found out about Voldemort discovering he was a spy and about, well, you know,” said Ginny. Which you know? Harry decided to play it safe and act like it was about his capture.

“You can say it. I’m fine now,” said Harry. He felt more than fine. He felt like he could just float with the clouds. He was going to have to make more of that potion, keep a supply of it. He liked the feeling it gave him.

“Harry? Are you listening?”

“Yeah,” said Harry.

“We have your birthday presents here. Professor Lupin said that we couldn’t owl them to you, but that we would see you soon. They’re upstairs. Come on up and we’ll get them,” said Hermione.

Harry followed them upstairs and into the room that he’d shared with Ron the previous summer. Ron dug out something wrapped in bright orange paper and a large sparkly purple box from his trunk and handed them to Harry. They sat down on the unused bed and waited for the girls to come back. They didn’t take long and soon entered the room, each bearing something wrapped in shiny red paper.

Harry opened Ron’s first and found that Ron had gotten him his own Golden Snitch.

“So you can practice while being trapped in a house with Snape,” explained Ron.

Harry opened the sparkly box next to find an assortment of smaller boxes, each labeled with some strange name.

“Oh neat! Fred and George sent you samples!” exclaimed Ginny.

“Maybe you should test some on Snape,” said Ron wickedly.

“Maybe…” said Harry doubtfully. He didn’t want to risk making Snape mad. Hermione handed him a box, which contained refills for his broomstick servicing kit. Ginny’s present was an assortment of candy.

When Harry opened it, Ron leaned over and whispered, “I’d be careful if I were you. She might have snuck in some Wheezes.”

Harry whispered back that he’d be careful and offered candy to the girls, both of who declined. Definitely tampered with, decided Harry.

He set the candy aside and asked, “So what are we going to do?” Ginny held up with looked like a pile of peach-colored flobberworms.

She smiled wickedly as she said, “How about we go down and hear what the Order’s talking about?” Harry and Ron grinned and each took one of the Extendable Ears. Hermione frowned disapprovingly, but she too, took and Extendable Ear from Ginny. They crept down the stairs and put the Extendable Ears in their own. Harry could hear snatches of conversation as his Ear snaked down the stairs.

“…are you willing to accept the job?”

“Yes…think it would be good…”

“Hagrid, would you…try…again?”

“’O ‘course, ‘eadmaster. I’ll ‘ave ter owl…a’gin ‘bout whether…ter help…”

“…will…”

Harry pulled the Ear out and saw that the others had done the same.

“Bloody boring stuff,” commented Ron.

“Well, we did find out something, at least. It’s better than nothing,” said Hermione. They headed upstairs, where Ron pulled out a battered chess set and challenged Harry to a game. Harry was in the process of losing to Ron for the second time in a row when they heard knocking on the door. Ginny got up and opened the door, revealing Snape in the doorway.

“It’s time to go, Harry. You can meet me downstairs in a few minutes,” said Snape, then walked off. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny stared open-mouthed at him.

“Harry? He calls you Harry?” asked Ron incredulously.

“I told you he’s changed,’ said Harry as he gathered up his presents. “I’d better get going. He’ll probably bring me along next time there’s an Order meeting. If not, I’ll see you on September first,” said Harry before bidding them goodbye and heading downstairs.

A chorus of goodbyes followed him. He walked down the stairs, where he found Snape holding an empty butterbeer bottle. Snape held it out to him and Harry touched it. Snape’s lips moved soundlessly.

Three…two…one and they were gone in a swirl of colors. Harry landed in a heap in a room that he’d never seen before while Snape landed gracefully on his feet.

Harry stood up and asked, “Where are we?”

“Back at the house. Entrance Hall,” said Snape. He walked away from Harry, who immediately began following him. They walked in silence until they stopped at set of stairs that Harry recognized as the ones leading to the second floor. He began to walk up the stairs, intending to have more of the potion, and Snape walked away. He was going to have to time the potion to see how long it would last.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been at Grimmauld place, but the potion seemed to be wearing off. Perhaps he needed to take more of it so it would last longer? Once in his room, he took a sip of the potion and noted the time, feeling that wonderfully free feeling that the potion gave him.

He felt a sudden burst of energy and decided to go wander around the house. It seemed like it was quite big, what were the chances of meeting up with Snape? Apparently quite high, at least for him.

Not ten minutes after leaving his room, Harry saw Snape just coming up from the basement. Harry found himself backing up as Snape started towards him.

“Harry, stop,” said Snape. Harry stopped immediately, thought it wasn’t as though Snape was going to hit him. He wouldn’t do that, would he? Seeing Harry’s reaction, Snape sighed.

“I would rather you didn’t wander around the house, though I cannot stop you. However, I would like you to know that this is a large house, and if the wards were to be breached, if you were off wandering, it would be difficult to find you. Though there is only a very small chance of that occurring, it is better to be safe than sorry,” said Snape. Nice as it was to have Snape care about his safety, there was no way he would be bale to remain in his room all the time, not while he was taking that potion.

“Yes sir. I’ll try not to wander too far,” promised Harry. He was being honest. Though he’d rather try and find you what all secrets the house held, he’d stay on the three floors he had been on already, if only for his safety.

“Good,” said Snape and walked off. So what to do now, wondered Harry. Maybe he could go and make some more potion. Merlin, all that energy was starting to irritate him. Maybe he was better off moping and tired. He decided to write letters to his friends. Maybe he could tell them in a letter about being Snape’s son. No, that wouldn’t work. The letters could be intercepted. Oh well, he could still write to his friends. His letters to Ron and Hermione ended up being pretty much the same.

Dear Ron (Hermione),

How has your summer gone? Mine’s been okay. Snape’s been much nicer. Probably because of not being around the Slytherins and having to keep up his reputation as the evil, Gryffindor-heating Potions Master.

Hopefully there’ll be another Order meeting soon so I can see you again. I don’t think Snape trusts me alone in his house. No, Ron (Hermione), I haven’t been planting pranks everywhere or attacked him, or anything like that. I can hear Hermione (you) now. Don’t even think about pulling any pranks on Professor Snape. (Relax Hermione, I won’t.) (Maybe I will Ron, since he seems to have lightened up a bit. See if the man really does have a sense of humor.) I got to go now to think of pranks to pull on Snape.

Just kidding,

Harry

Harry sealed up the letters and set them aside to ask Snape about owling them later. Right now, he was going to have a little nap……

* He was in the circular stone room that was filled with Death Eaters. He was being held tightly by two Death Eaters and facing Voldemort. Where the Death Eaters’ hands were on him felt like tiny needles pricking his skin. Voldemort stepped closer to Harry and smiled slightly, a sight that scared Harry.

“Tell me, Harry. Did you enjoy the time you spent with your relatives this year?” He felt as though a strong Jelly Legs Jinx has been put on him and would have collapsed to the floor had the Death Eaters not been holding his arms so tightly. Harry desperately wanted to wake up. He knew exactly what was coming and dint want to go through it again.

“Take him back now. Do what you wish with him, just keep his mind and sanity intact,” said Voldemort. Harry was dragged roughly to the small stone room and shoved forward. He landed on his left shoulder, which twisted backwards painfully. He whimpered slightly in pain, earning himself a kick in the stomach

“There you are, Mr. Dursley. Why don’t you have the first go? Finite Incantatem.” he heard from somewhere behind him. Harry scrambled to his feet and headed towards the back of the room.

“You worthless little freak!” yelled his Uncle, shoving him into the wall. “My wife and son are dead and it’s all because of you and your freaky kind! This would have never happened if you hadn’t been born!”

“If I hadn’t been born, then Voldemort would have taken over the entire world by now,” hissed Harry. He heard several gasps from the other side of the room.

“How dare you talk to me like that!” yelled his Uncle as he slammed his meaty fist into Harry’s chest. Having been released from the wall, Harry slumped to the ground, gasping for breath. Having been released from the wall, Harry slumped to the ground. His Uncle began kicking mercilessly at Harry’s body.

Several minutes or several hours later, he couldn’t tell, his Uncle picked him up by one arm and began shaking him vigorously while hitting him with the other. Harry began to scream and kick at his Uncle, which only infuriated the man more. Harry felt a wrenching jerk in his left shoulder and realized that it must have been dislocated. Harry was dropped once more to the ground, where silent tears of pain streamed down his face. Through a haze of pain, he heard the Death Eaters talking.

“Pitiful Muggles.”

“So uncreative,” said a woman’s voice that Harry recognized as Bellatrix Lestrange.

A deep voice incanting “Avada Kedavra.” and a flash of green light, then a loud thud indicating that Vernon Dursley was dead.

“So Potter, ready for the real action, cause that was just a warm-up compared to what’s coming,” said Bellatrix happily. “Pity the Muggle wasn’t more useful than that. Though of course, we can use magic on him and make him useful now.” Harry looked up at her with blurry vision.

She had her arms crossed and was tapping her wand on her arm, staring down at the floor, where his Uncle’s body lay near them. Harry struggled to fight his way out of the dream and heard his name being called, seemingly from far away. He fought to get closer to the voice and the remnants of his dream vanished. *

Harry opened his eyes to find Snape standing anxiously over him. He was in his bed, which was surprising, since the last he’d remembered, he was at his desk.

“Vision?” asked Snape. Harry shook his head.

“No, nightmare,” said Harry. He looked down and noticed his hands were shaking slightly. Harry found himself clenching his hands into fists in an effort to hide their shaking.

“Harry?” asked Snape gently.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Could you please leave me alone?” said Harry. Snape immediately retreated to the doorway.

“You know where to find me if you do want to talk,” said Snape before closing the door. Harry got out of bed and began pacing back and forth, trying to relieve some of the tension that had built up in him after having that nightmare. Harry ran his hands though his hair, trying not to think about the horrific events that had occurred while he was Voldemort’s captive.

A little voice in the back of his mind was telling him to walk over to his desk and pull out that knife. No, he wouldn’t hurt himself again, not around Snape. That’s what the potion was for. He got out a vial of the potion and took a sip, embracing the freeness it gave him.

Several hours later, it was approaching bedtime, and the potion was starting to wear off. Harry grabbed a vial of Sleeping Potion and downed it before getting into bed, ready to have a nightmare-free sleep. The next morning, he woke up feeling extremely wide-awake. He changed his clothes and took a sip of the potion, then headed downstairs to breakfast.

Both Harry and Snape were silent until Snape handed him an envelope with his name on it. He opened it and found his OWL results. Nervously, he put aside the top sheet of parchment, which congratulated him on taking his OWLs. He looked at his Potions score first, which just happened to be an ‘O’. He let out a cry of joy and shoved the parchment in his father’s face.

“I got an ‘O’ in Potions. Now you have to let me in your NEWT class.” Snape took the parchment from him and glanced at it.

“You did quite well, Harry. Except for your Divination and Astronomy scores,” said Snape.

“Divination’s a bunch of rubbish and our Astronomy exam was interrupted,” said Harry.

“Well done, Harry,” said Snape, handing his scored back.

“Thank you, sir,” said Harry.

“Anyhow, we have to discuss what is to happen once we return from Hogwarts. You are far from fully changed and I’m sure your friends are going to notice that you’ve changed. Therefore, I believe you have three options. The first would be to tell everyone about us, second would be to put a Glamour Charm on you, and the last, and I think worst, option, is to assume a new identity,” said Snape. Yeah, he didn’t really like the last option and telling everyone of his parentage did not appeal to him, but the Glamour Charm sounded acceptable.

“If we went with the Glamour, would I still be able to tell my friends?” asked Harry.

“Of course. Tell whomever you like,” said Snape.

“Then I’ll do that,” said Harry.

“I thought that would be what you chose. I’d assume you’ll be changing more in the next couple of weeks. If you need something, don’t hesitate to ask me. I need to inform the Headmaster about your decision,” said Snape. He got up and left Harry alone at the table, still excited about his OWL results.

~Snape’s POV~

Snape walked out of the dining room and headed to his office to Floor Dumbledore about Harry’s decision.

He picked up a handful form a black box on the mantle and tossed it in the fireplace, saying, “Albus Dumbledore.”

Dumbledore’s head appeared in the flames and he asked, “What do you need, Severus?”

“Harry has decided that he wants to go with the Glamour Charm.”

“Very well then. I had thought that Harry would choose that. He would not wish to leave his friends. Tell Harry that we will be performing the charm a week before the start of term,” said Dumbledore.

“I will do that,” promised Snape.

“Good. I must be going then,” said Dumbledore and his head vanished from the flames. Snape left his office to go find Harry. He wasn’t in his room, and thankfully not the bathroom. After ten minutes of searching, he found him still in the dining room, his head on the table, fast asleep. He gently shook Harry awake. Harry sat up and looked around with bleary eyes.

“Didn’t you get any sleep last night?” asked Snape.

“Yeah. I took that potion. I’m still tired,” said Harry with a loud yawn.

“Maybe you should go back upstairs and sleep some more,” said Snape. He watched as Harry stood up and stumbled out of the room. He debated for a moment whether to go help Harry before deciding that Harry probably wouldn’t want his help. He left the dining room and went down to his Potions lab to begin working on restocking Madam Pomfrey’s supplies.

He began work on a Pain Relieving Potion, but his thoughts kept wandering back to Harry and his strange behavior. Harry had seemed wide awake when he’d left him in the dining room and his strange behavior. Harry had seemed wide-awake when he’d left him in the dining room, but not even fifteen minutes later, he was dead tired. He had been acting strange since the day they went to Grimmauld Place. He had seemed cheerful enough, considering he didn’t even know where they were going. Then, when they came back, he was quieter and more subdued. He made a mental note to check on that later and turned his attention back to the cauldron.

“Shit,: he muttered furiously as he realized that he had skipped adding powdered arnica, a key component of the potion and now his potion was ruined. Good thing he hadn’t been making anything dangerous, thought Snape as he Vanished the ruined potion and started again. He successfully completed the potion several hours later and set the cauldron aside to cool.

He then went upstairs to check on Harry. His suspicions were furthered as he saw Harry, not in bed, but sitting at his desk reading a book, until his more rational side kicked in and said that it had been several hours, perhaps he had just woken up. He walked towards Harry and saw that he was reading his NEWT Potions book.

“Getting ready for my class, I see,” said Snape. Harry spun around so fast Snape thought he might have cracked his neck. “I thought you were tired,” said Snape.

“I was tired. I’m not anymore, though,” said Harry. Quite the Slytherin, omitting information.

“Did you sleep?” asked Snape.

“Yes,” said Harry.

“Make sure you get your rest. Dumbledore is coming to put the Glamour Charm on you the last week before the start of term,” said Snape. He left Harry’s room and headed back to his Potions lab to make some more potions for Madam Pomfrey.

~Harry’s POV~

Over the next two weeks, Harry found the potion working less and less. He was getting more tired every time he took the potion and was falling asleep in more strange places.

Snape kept giving him odd looks, as though he was trying to see right through him. He had made more of the potion and had hidden it in his trunk so that he could take it to Hogwarts since he probably wouldn’t have much time to make more once school started, but he had copied the potion down and put the book back in case he was able to make the option.

“Harry, Dumbledore’s here. Come downstairs,” called Snape. He hoped this didn’t take long, or else he would be falling asleep again.