"Sir?" Harry asked Snape one evening at dinner. "Do you know someone that can teach me to apparate?"

"Are you planning on going somewhere?"

"I just- no. I'm not going anywhere."

Severus gave him a hard look. "I was only curious. You are almost 17. I will be able to teach you to apparate after you come of age. It is a right of passage and I am certain many of your friends will be learning over the summer."

"A right of passage?"

"As Muggle teens learn to drive from their parents, wizards learn to apparate from theirs."

"Oh," Harry said, frowning. He didn't have parents to teach him. Snape had offered though hadn't he? "But you would teach me?" he asked.

"Yes. We can practice just off of school grounds. There's a field north of the school. For Muggleborns and students who do not learn from their parents there is an optional class offered at the end of seventh year. It would be better if you learned over the summer from me."

"Thank you sir. My birthday's in two weeks."

"Are you planning on spending your birthday at the castle?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I mean, I don't have anywhere else to spend it."

"Would you like to have friends over?"

"You mean Draco?"

"Draco may or may not be able to attend. I will have to come up with a suitable excuse to take him for the day. You may however invite some of your friends, provided that the whole of Gryffindor does not show up."

"Oh. How many could I ask then?"

"Who are you thinking of inviting?"

"Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Teddy and Pansy."

"Six is an acceptable number. I will send an invitation to the Slytherins, perhaps under the guise of vocational counseling."

"Will their parents buy that sir?"

"As it so happens, when students are entering their seventh year or have just graduated, professors often call in students they are concerned about or have advice for. In your seventh year you may find several different professors calling you to their office with things they wish to speak to you about. At some point all seventh years will receive vocational counseling, before, during or after the year."

"I didn't realize. Some of the Professors last week were asking me what I want to do after I graduate."

"What are you considering?"

Harry fidgeted with his fingers. "Teaching Defense maybe."

"If you aspire to be a teacher it is not likely you will gain employment right out of school. You will need to gain some experience in the field you wish to teach in first, either by apprenticeship, further schooling or by working in the field. They generally begin accepting professors around twenty years old."

"Oh," Harry said, looking at his shoes.

"It was not a discouragement," Snape said. "This is the type of vocational advice you will be receiving throughout the year. The goal is for you to have a plan for achieving your career goals by the time you graduate, so you have a direction to go once you leave school. You will also be asked to come up with several career choices this coming year so you can research each and have a backup plan if something is not working out with your first choice."

Harry sent letters off to Ron, Ginny and Hermione asking if they'd like to come to the castle for his birthday for a few hours, and hoped Snape could convince his other friend's parents to let them come on Harry's birthday. Pansy had informed Harry at the end of the school year that her parents wouldn't care if she was friends with him, but Harry knew it would be a problem for Draco and Teddy, which was why Snape had coached Draco on what to say to his parents before sending him home after their day at the sea.

* * *

A few days before Harry's birthday, Remus found him in the Great Hall as Harry sat eating lunch alone and reading an intense mystery novel Draco had sent to him.

"This seat taken cub?" Remus asked. Harry looked up and smiled at him, indicating he was welcome to the empty seat across from him. Harry was the only one in the Great Hall as it was late afternoon.

"Are you all moved into the castle now?" Harry asked, pushing a bowl of fruit towards him. Remus took an apple.

"Yes. I moved in this morning. I'll have a few weeks of work to get ready for the term but with two months until school starts I'm not terribly worried about finishing on time. How have you been?"

"Good," Harry said, putting a bookmark in the novel and setting it down.

"You know some people have been pretty worried about you."

"I don't know why," Harry lied.

"No one was sure why you were staying at the castle for the summer. Sirius and the Weasleys have both asked Albus but he said it was your choice. And you haven't been answering your mail."

"That's not true," Harry said. "I owl back and forth with Ron, Ginny and Hermione twice a week, and I write to my other friends."

"But not to Sirius?"

Harry shrugged. He wasn't sure if Remus would be angry with him or not if Harry told him everything that had happened.

"To be honest, I've been a little worried about you myself," Remus said. "Sirius believes someone is preventing you from writing back to him and Molly."

"That's not what's happening," Harry said.

"I don't believe it is. If you're up for telling me I'd like to hear what's going on though. Whatever has been going on Harry, I'm here for you."

Harry looked into Remus' eyes. Remus had never treated him poorly and had always kept his promises to him. So Harry told him about Christmas, and about being left by himself. Several minutes later he said, "I'm the only kid without parents here. I'm the orphan, so it's easy for them to just put me off to the side when it's convenient for them because there's no one to stick up for me."

Remus sighed heavily. "I'm sorry this has happened to you Harry. I want you to know that whatever is happening in your life, good or bad, you can always write to me, or come to me. I will always do what I can to help you."

"S'all right," Harry mumbled. "It's over now."

"Do you believe it's over?" Remus asked.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything. It seems as though you've resolved things with your friends, but not with your family."

Harry frowned. "The Dursleys?"

"No Harry, with Sirius... with the Weasleys."

"Remus," Harry said. "I don't have a family. I don't get to have a family."

"Sirius loves you, so do the Weasleys."

"They left me here Remus. They don't care about me at all."

"I'm telling you they do. Unfortunately adults aren't perfect. I can't say I'm happy with what they did or how they handled things, I'm certainly not. But if you don't talk to them the issues will never be resolved."

Harry felt anger creeping up on him like it had when Sirius had written to him to scold him for not writing to Molly to thank her for the things she'd sent him. "I'm a kid," he said flatly to Remus. "Why am I expected to fix what all the adults have broken?"

"You shouldn't be expected to," Remus agreed. "Unfortunately that's the way most feel at your age as they get ready to step out into life beyond school. They look at the world they're about to inherit and see how broken the previous generation has left it. All you can hope to do is be better than those who have come before you, so your children don't get a world as broken as it is today."

"We're not talking about the world," Harry said. "We're talking about Sirius and Molly and how they treat me. They pretend to care, then show they don't."

They were quiet for several moments as Remus thought, and then he said, "When your friends treated you poorly over Christmas, how did the issue get resolved?"

"I told them off for being jerks."

"And then?"

"Then they apologized and we worked on being friends again."

"So one side of the conflict made a move towards middle ground, then the other side made a move towards middle ground, then both sides worked together to meet in the middle?"

"I guess," Harry said.

"Would you agree a conflict like that could not be resolved if only one side was attempting to meet in the middle on common ground to work issues out?"

"Yeah." Harry could see where the conversation was going, but he didn't want it to go there.

"You said you shouldn't have to fix what the adults broke, because you're a kid. You're definitely right that it was an issue they caused. You did nothing wrong and you weren't at fault."

Harry relaxed a little at Remus' words and when he saw that he continued. "You made the first move to fix things with your friends, even though it shouldn't have been you to make the first move. You did though. Molly has made the first move to fixing things with you, wouldn't you agree? You said she's been sending letters apologizing and inviting you to visit? And Sirius?"

"You're wrong," Harry said. "There's nothing to fix with Molly because she's not my mother. I can never be part of their family because at the first sign of trouble with any of her kids, she'll remember that I'm not her kid and I'll get the short end of the stick again. And Sirius hasn't tried to fix anything. He acts like nothing happened because he doesn't even know he did anything wrong!"

"You're growing to be a strong, independent, determined young man," Remus said. "If you choose to end your relationship with them, that's your right, and no one can hold that against you. That doesn't mean you should though. You said we weren't talking about fixing the issues your generation has inherited in this world, but we are. You'll be 17 soon and you'll be finishing school and stepping into this broken world. It will often be up to you and your friends to make the first move to fix things... to decide that you want to fix things instead of leaving them broken. Whatever you choose to leave broken, you leave for those who come after you. That's also true of your relationships. What you leave broken in your personal life, you carry with you. It becomes a part of you and shapes who you are. It will shape how you deal with your children or your friend's children. I've seen it happen before."

Harry was quiet and fidgeting with the edges of the novel.

"Like I said Harry, if you choose to end your relationship with them, that's fine. Just ending things doesn't necessarily mean fixing them though. Sometimes it's absolutely necessary to cut ties with people, especially if they're going to continue to hurt you or be a negative impact on your life. But in ten years when you look back on how things ended up, will you be satisfied with the result of your decisions? That's what I want you to think about. If the answer for you is yes, you will be satisfied, then you know you've made the right decision. Whatever issues you face, ignoring them is almost never going to lead to an outcome you'll be satisfied with. The issues you're going to face in our community, with the Ministry, with the laws... all of those issues are the result of people ignoring them.

Harry had a lot to think about over the days following his conversation with Remus. Remus had reassured him he wasn't angry with him and that he was there for Harry no matter what decision he made about the issue. Harry added Remus into his weekly rotation of visits, choosing to visit with Remus in his office or quarters on Mondays and Wednesdays, and with McGonagall on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Fridays he stayed back in Snape's quarters and began helping him with potions he needed to restock for the Hospital Wing. All the while Harry thought about what his Professors had been telling him over and over that summer: he was going to be an adult soon and he was going to have to start figuring things out on his own. It gave Harry anxiety that he would leave Hogwarts and not know what to do, or where to go, and that without a family like Ron and Hermione and even Draco had, he'd be on his own if he made a mistake. It wasn't a comforting thought as the days drew closer to his 17th birthday.

* * *

"Poppy," Minerva asked at breakfast the morning of Harry's birthday. "Isn't it someone's birthday today? It's Neville Longbottom's 17th isn't it?"

Harry looked up from his cereal and found McGonagall, Pomfrey and Flitwick smiling at him. He grinned back. Despite his anxiety over the upcoming year and then graduating, he couldn't help but be excited to see his friends later in the day and spend time with them. It was the one day each year he felt like he meant something to somebody. Usually he was still at the Dursleys when his birthday rolled around, and they made it a point to ignore him, but his friends always sent him gifts, cakes, cards and hand drawn pictures that day so he didn't feel forgotten.

"Yeah," Harry nodded, "probably Neville's birthday."

McGonagall produced a small square present and pushed it across the empty space between them.

"Can I open it now?" Harry asked.

"Of course."

Harry pulled the paper off the box and found a soft red and black tartan scarf inside.

"I know it's summer, but I noticed last year that you no longer seemed to have your Gryffindor scarf and looked cold."

Harry ran his thumb over the soft warm material.

"It's great," Harry said.

"That scarf should last for years," she told him. "When I turned 17 my mother gave me one just like it. It has charms to keep it soft and keep the colors steadfast."

"Thank you," Harry told her sincerely. "Are you coming to my party later?"

"Oh," she said, "I think I'll settle for telling you happy birthday now so you and your friends can have the Great Hall to yourselves this evening. I heard Hagrid has baked a cake for you."

"Oh," Harry said, giving a little laugh.

"Not to worry," Flitwick told him. "I've asked the elves to make a second cake. Just in case the first isn't enough." He winked at Harry who laughed again and thanked him. Hagrid's cakes were always dry and hard. Harry was never sure if Hagrid just didn't know how to cook, or if that was the way he preferred to eat his cakes.

"I expect it to be a raucous affair," McGonagall told him as if she was giving him an order.

"I don't know about that," Harry said, "it's just a few of us." Draco's birthday had been the week prior and Harry had sent him a new novel by owl since he couldn't attend a birthday at Malfoy Manor for obvious reasons. He'd also purchased a book for Hermione's birthday and he was planning on giving it to her that evening since her birthday was in just a few days. Ron's wasn't until right before school started and it was the same with Pansy and Teddy's.

"Do you have any special plans now that you're 17?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"Professor Snape is going to teach me to apparate in a few days," Harry said.

"Is he now," she said with a smile. "Out in the fields north of school I expect?" and Harry nodded in response.

After breakfast Harry went back to the dungeons to put his new scarf away and found Snape waiting for him in the living room with a small present of his own.

"You didn't have to get me anything sir," Harry said when Snape held the box out to him, feeling awkward. Harry had considered the man letting him stay with him for the summer a gift all by itself, and if not that, then teaching him to apparate.

"Open it," Snape told him, and Harry sat down on the dark grey sofa to unwrap it. Inside was a handsome brown journal with a soft leather cover.

"It has neverending pages," Snape told him, sitting down in his favorite comfortable chair. "When a wizarding child comes of age it's a tradition for the adults in their lives to give them presents which will in some way prepare them for their future."

"Really?" Harry asked. "A few minutes ago Professor McGonagall gave me a soft scarf."

"Minerva values being warm and feeling ‘cozy'. To her those feelings represent home."

Harry pulled the tartan scarf out to show him. "I didn't know. She said her mother gave her one just like this when she turned 17." He'd liked the scarf before, but now it felt even more special.

"A young wizard always finds himself in need of parchment for something," Severus said. "Whether to write a letter, to keep track of finances, or just to jot down his thoughts. When you tear a sheet of parchment out of this journal, it will re-grow overnight as a fresh sheet."

"It must have cost a lot with charms like that," Harry said, looking up at him.

"Cost is not a factor."

"Even for The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-The-Bane-Of-Your-Existence?" Harry asked, feeling cheeky.

"Especially for the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Become-My-Friend," Snape corrected.

Harry's cheeks coloured and he held up the journal and said, "Thank you sir. I appreciate it."

Remus too, it seemed, had a gift for Harry, which he gave to him after lunch that afternoon in his office. "Everyone's been giving me gifts today," Harry said, feeling overwhelmed that so many people had thought of him.

"It's not everyday a young man turns 17 is it? Go on, open it. I'm sorry I didn't have wrapping paper."

"It's ok," Harry said, lifting the lid off the box. Inside was a photo of Harry's parents he'd never seen before. He had several of them from Hagrid, but this one was different. It was in black and white and showed Lily and James sitting by the fire. Lily was holding her stomach and looking lovingly down at it. So was James. Every few seconds they looked up at each other with love in their eyes, and then back down to her stomach. She was clearly almost due to give birth.

"I wanted you to remember Harry, that you do have a family. I want you to know wherever you go that there are people that love you, even if they're not here with you. And I want you to know that whatever happens I am here for you now and will always be."

Harry looked up at Remus, eyes wet. "And if you refuse to write to me cub, I will personally track you down, even if you've gone across the pond."

Harry laughed and ran his arm across his eyes and Remus laughed too.

"All right," Remus said. "You'd better get going. Your party starts at three doesn't it? It's two forty five."

Harry thanked him and looked at the black and white photograph all the way down through the castle, unable to tear his eyes away from it. He was reluctant to set it down on his desk, but did at the last minute when he realized he only had a few minutes to change into a clean shirt and get up to the Great Hall.

Snape wasn't in his quarters because he was off collecting Draco, Pansy and Teddy. He would apparate back with them soon. When Harry made it up to the Entrance Hall he found Hermione, Ron and Ginny waiting for him.

Ginny pulled him into a tight hug right away and wouldn't let him go even when Ron started to complain. Finally she settled for taking Harry's hand as they went into the Great Hall. There were snacks and food at one end of Ravenclaw table and Harry was amused to find the banners in the Great Hall had all been changed to reflect the Gryffindor colors and crest, like they did when Gryffindor occasionally won the house cup.

"I brought Gobstones and Exploding Snap," Ron said, motioning to the games next to the food. They had just begun to pull out Exploding Snap when Harry's other friends appeared at the entrance to the Great Hall and came in.

Ron grumbled something but Harry couldn't tell what.

"You made it," Harry grinned.

"Mother and father couldn't get me here fast enough to talk about ‘better career choices than playing Quidditch and running an apothecary,'" Draco said with a laugh.

"Yeah," Teddy said. "Pretty sure my mum was of the same mind. She doesn't want me to manage a Quidditch team and would rather I get an apprenticeship somewhere."

"Don't look at me," Pansy said. "I told my parents the truth. I said I was going to Harry Potter's birthday party."

"And?" Ginny asked curiously.

"They didn't believe me and said, ‘Have a nice evening with Draco dear.'"

They all laughed and the Slytherins added their gifts to Harry's small pile of presents in the center of the table.

They chatted for twenty minutes as they helped themselves to snacks, then played board games and after two cakes appeared, one bright blue and clearly from Hagrid, and another from the house elves, Harry opened gifts. He'd been given books, a fine quill with a huge white eagle feather from Draco, and a book from Teddy about the careers of famous Quidditch players. "In case you change your mind," Teddy said. "I could manage you, and you and I could go places."

There was one present left on the pile and Harry had a feeling he knew who it was from.

"Mum sent a present too," Ron said.

"Erm, I'm going to open it later," Harry told him. Ron looked like he understood and didn't question him, but Harry wasn't sure if he did understand. He hadn't discussed Mrs. Weasley with any of his friends, but he was certain Ron and Ginny had heard from their parents and Sirius that Harry hadn't written back to her in five months.

Harry and his friends joked and talked, finished off the house elve's cake and made a decent attempt to eat Hagrid's cake as well before Severus came to the Great Hall at seven thirty to collect the Slytherins so they could floo home. Harry wondered if he would coach them on what to say when they went home as he had done with Draco previously.

"I guess we'd better go too," Hermione said. "My parents wanted me home at eight, and after we floo back to the Burrow Mr. Weasley has to apparate me home."

Harry hugged Ginny tightly and told her he was going to learn to apparate soon and might be able to come visit before summer ended, thanked his friends for their presents, and then bade them goodbye as they went to find McGonagall so they could floo home from her office.

Harry hummed happily to himself as he began gathering his gifts into a pile at the end of the table and set to work collecting some of the snacks that were left into a bowl so he could take them back to the dungeons with him. The elves had made cookies and had put out several bowls of crisps as well as little chocolate malt balls and he wanted to finish them all off over the next couple of days. He was just about to put all of his gifts in an empty box when he heard a familiar voice call out his name from behind him.

"Harry!"

Harry turned and found Sirius coming into the Great Hall. He looked uncertain but was trying to smile and appear happy.

Harry turned away from him and began putting his gifts into the box.

"Happy birthday," Sirius said, coming around into his view. "I wanted to see you and bring your gift. Not every day your godson reaches majority."

"Thanks," Harry said, but he didn't look up at him or reach out to take the gift.

"Do you want to open it?" Sirius asked.

"You can put it with Mrs. Weasley's," Harry said, indicating the unopened present on the table.

"Here, let me help you put things away," Sirius tried, but Harry waved him off. "It's ok, I've got it."

Sirius watched him pack items away and then combine several snacks into two bowls.

"Listen, I was hoping you'd come back with me to Grimmuald Place now that you're 17. You don't have to stay in the castle anymore."

"I was invited to stay," Harry said. "It was my choice."

"Then I can help you carry your gifts up to Gryffindor."

"I'm staying in the dungeons."

"The dungeons-" Sirius started, confused.

"With Professor Snape."

"I don't understand why you don't want to come home," Sirius said. "Why would you rather stay with Snape? The two of you have never gotten along."

Harry scoffed at the term ‘home' as he finished collecting snacks. "I like living with him. He likes having me around."

"I like having you around," Sirius said. "The Weasleys too. We miss you."

"No," Harry said, looking up at him finally and shaking his head, "you don't. I'm not yours to miss."

Harry moved to grab his box, bowls of snacks precariously placed on top of his gifts, but Sirius grabbed his arm gently. "He's not your family Harry! You shouldn't be here. You should be with me."

Harry spun to face him, pulling his arm out of his godfather's grasp.

"Well I don't well have a family do I!?" he shouted. "And if I was going to have one he's the closest I've got!"

"I'm your godfather! I'm your family Harry. You're supposed to be staying with me!"

"Don't you think I wanted that?!" Harry shouted. "I would have given anything to have you as a father! I would have given anything to come and live with you and not have to go back to my relatives! But you didn't want that! You tossed me aside because that's what was easy!"

"Harry-" Sirius couldn't speak. He took a step back, looking confused, like someone had just struck him across the face. "What are you talking about?" he asked quietly.

Breathing hard Harry turned away from him, trying to calm himself before he did something stupid like punch Sirius in the face. He was angry enough he could do it, but he was afraid of what the larger man would do to him if he tried.

"I need a family," Harry said quietly. "I've never had one before. Then you came along and asked me to stay with you when you couldn't even take me. For three years I hoped you'd come get me and take me home, so I didn't have to go back to my relatives... didn't have to let them torture me every time I went home. But you didn't ask."

Harry turned and stared at him, hot angry tears pooled in his eyes. "You left me there with them. You were the only one who could get me out of there because you had the legal right to. There were three years where you could have made sure I was safe. Three years where you could have made sure I got to celebrate Christmas... but I stayed at the castle all those years by myself."

"Last year Ron asked me to go home with him for Christmas, and I finally thought I was going to get to spend Christmas with a family... a family I thought was my family. Then he left me here. His mum left me here. You left me here. At least Mrs. Weasley had a reason, or thought she had a reason because she's his mum. But who do I have that will stick up for me Sirius? Who do I have that will ask my side of things and help me get things straightened out? Who do I have that will take me home and make sure I get a Christmas, or that I get even a single present?" Harry shook his head, salty tears falling. "Only Professor Snape," Harry answered, realizing there was an answer to his questions. "Professor Snape gave me a Christmas and made sure I didn't spend it all alone and miserable. He gave me presents and told me he cared about me. He made me think I meant something to somebody when all my friends left me by myself again... when my Godfather left me here for another year."

Sirius reached up and wiped his eyes and nose. Harry hadn't expected him to cry, and couldn't figure out now what he'd said to make him look so miserable. Why should he be miserable? He could just go back and live his life without Harry like he already was. Nothing would change for him.

What happened next made Harry's heart leap up into his throat painfully in surprise. Sirius got down on one knee in front of Harry and looked up at him. "I am a sorry excuse for a godfather. I don't expect you to forgive me Harry, and I'm not going to ask you to. I know actions speak louder than words, and mine have clearly said everything I don't want them to. I can't imagine what you've gone through, but for what little my words are worth, I want you to know that I want you as a son. I want you to live with me, and to know that I'll always be here for you."

Harry backed up and sat down on one of the wooden benches. He'd wanted to hear those words for so long. He'd even believed some of those things before. They were things he still wanted to believe.

"I'm supposed to figure out a career and then just move out on my own when I graduate," Harry said, feeling hopeless. "I don't know where I'm supposed to live, or how to pay rent or bills, I don't know how to buy groceries or order food at a restaurant." He looked up at Sirius. "All of my friends have parents to teach them those things."

"And to apparate," Sirius said.

"I have someone to teach me to apparate."

"Who?"

"Professor Snape promised he would teach me after my birthday."

"He's not your-"

Harry gave Sirius a blank look and he closed his mouth.

"If you'll still have me Harry, I'd like to try to fix what I've broken."

"I just- need you to be there for me," he pointed to his chest. "Ron has someone already. All of my friends do. I don't want to be pushed aside because I'm the orphan and don't have anyone to help just me."

"I promise you," Sirius said. He pulled Harry off the bench and down to him in a hug. "Will you come home with me?" Sirius asked.

"Not tonight," Harry said, still letting Sirius hug him tightly. "Maybe you could just come visit me for a while."

"I can do that," Sirius promised. "Or I can take you somewhere if you want to go out. We can go buy you some new clothes or something."

Harry didn't tell him Snape had already taken him. "Sure," he said. In the last twenty minutes he'd been so overwhelmed with anger, sadness, hurt and uncertainty that he felt exhausted and just wanted to go to bed.

"And you'll tell me what exactly happened between you and Ron. I know it's six months too late, but I want to know your side of the story."

Harry nodded as Sirius let him go. "In a couple days," he said.

"How about I come visit Thursday morning? I'll clear it with the Headmaster. We can have breakfast."

"Ok," Harry said, rubbing his eyes.

Sirius gave Harry one last look, said, "Happy Birthday Harry," promised he'd be back Thursday morning, and headed out of the Great Hall, probably to find Dumbledore to clear it with him.

Harry looked at the table at the gifts his friends had given him and wondered if this had been a good day or a bad day. With how much he had cried and the raw emotion that had overwhelmed him he wasn't sure. It was something he'd have to think over in the morning after he'd had some rest.