Where I belong by Handa
Summary: Harry has always been looking for a place where he belongs and when Hagrid came to tell him about the wizarding world, he thought Hogwarts might finally be that place. That was until he was suddenly sorted into Slytherin house, and now he's not too sure. Can a certain Professor put aside childhood grudges and help Harry with his quest to find belonging?
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Draco, Hermione, Neville, Ron
Snape Flavour: Snape's a Bully, Snape Comforts, Snape is Kind, Snape is Mean
Genres: Family
Media Type: None
Tags: Slytherin!Harry
Takes Place: 1st Year
Warnings: Bullying, Neglect
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No Word count: 38854 Read: 30829 Published: 21 Dec 2021 Updated: 31 Jan 2024
Chapter 11 by Handa
“So, my boy, could you tell me where you were last night while we were having the Halloween Feast?” Dumbledore asked, his gaze finally landing upon Harry. Albus Dumbledore’s eyes were intense, gazing at him over half-moon spectacles.

He was sat on a cushioned chair in front of the headmaster, his head of house sat beside him had just finished explaining the events of the previous evening. To Harry’s surprise Professor Snape’s voice seemed to lack the usual malice when talking about Harry, but maybe his nerves were making him imagine things.

Dumbledore’s office provided plenty of opportunity to look away from his teachers’ gazes, magical and wonderful artifacts lined the floor to the ceiling of the circular room. He grew sad when he realised how magnificent magic is and how much he would miss it when he was expelled. Harry noticed the sorting hat perched up behind his headmaster and he looked away, that stupid hat was the reason of all Harry’s problems.

Harry looked down at his hands clasped on his lap to stop them from shaking too bad, and then down to his feet, dangling slightly as he was too short to reach the ground. He didn’t want to tell Dumbledore the truth, he felt embarrassed and besides, what if Ron got in trouble for stealing food from the kitchens?

Dumbledore sighed gently at Harry's lack of response, leaning back into his large, cushioned chair to study Harry, his hands clasping over his long white beard. “I can’t help you if you don’t allow me to, Harry.”

Harry cast his eyes down again. What was the point of getting his friends in trouble if he was already getting expelled? There’s no way Snape would give in until Harry was gone from his house, and out of Hogwarts. What was the point in bringing his friends down with him?

“I noticed some Gryffindor first years were also not present at the feast. Certain Gryffindors that I’ve noticed you’ve become acquainted with?” Dumbledore mused; Harry heard Snape scoff quietly beside him.

“They’re my friends.” Harry said, his voice soft.

“Indeed. It is curious.” Dumbledore said, with a gentle smile. “It is unusual for such close bonds to form between houses.”

Harry sighed. He knew it was unusual. The strange glances he got were enough confirmation of that. But it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t belong in Slytherin.

“And have you formed similar bonds within your own house?” Dumbledore said after a pause. “Is this whole thing a friendly competition that got out of control? I just need you to be honest with me, Harry.”

“No Sir.” Harry replied, biting his lip. “They aren’t my friends. The boys in Slytherin don’t care for me much.”

“Is that so?” The headmaster’s brow furrowed, as he questioned the small boy.

But Harry was growing inpatient, he'd rather they just rip the plaster off and expel him already. “Pardon me sir, but I don’t understand why this is important,” Harry started, his voice unsure but he tried to be brave. Like a Gryffindor. “Because I’m leaving soon anyway.”

“Leaving?” Dumbledore asked, “And where do you plan on going Harry?”

Harry paused. That wasn’t the answer he was expecting. “You’re not planning on – on expelling me?” Harry stuttered, caught off guard. He’d prepared himself for the inevitable all night, believing last night was the last night sleeping in his soft, silk-sheeted bed, and waking up to a warming cooked breakfast.

“Professor Snape suggested we do a more thorough investigation before we jump to such conclusions.” Dumbledore replied simply, inspecting Harry's reaction. “That is- do you believe you should be expelled, Harry?”

“No!” Harry blurted before he could breathe. Snape had suggested it? He could hardly believe it. “I-I told you, I didn’t steal anything.” Harry felt his voice crack on his last word, he hoped he didn’t sound too desperate.

“Then where were you last night, Potter?” Snape snapped, finally joining the conversation. Harry almost forgot he was there.

“I-I” Harry sighed and took a breath through his nose and a little shakily out his mouth. He didn’t want to lie, but the truth felt a little pathetic. But he was tired, and the words were leaving his mouth before he realised. If there was any chance he could stay at Hogwarts, it was worth telling the truth, right? “I just didn’t feel much like celebrating." Harry began. "'Cause of my parents. They died on Halloween night, and- I know it was 11 years ago but…I didn’t know before...”

The room was silent after Harry’s whispered admission and Harry heard Snape take a sharp intake of breath. He peaked a glance at the headmaster to see his eyebrows high with surprise and a look of sadness in his eyes.

The headmaster began to open his mouth to speak but he didn’t have chance to say anything before they were interrupted by a window bursting open and a golden bird flying through and whooshing over their heads. Harry’s mouth opened in shock but also in awe as he watched the magical bird perch on a small stand beside Dumbledore’s desk.

“This is Fawkes, Harry.” The headmaster said instead, lifting a wrinkled hand to pet the golden feathers of the bird. “Come say hello, if you like.”

Harry stayed still at first, but then was too intrigued to see the magical bird up close so he slowly hopped off his chair and walked over to the bird.

“Perhaps Professor Snape would be kind enough to fetch the young Mr Malfoy to join us. I fear we will not be able to sort this disagreement without him.” Dumbledore said while Harry stared at Fawkes. Harry was nervous at the headmaster’s words but he was expecting them, so he continued to look at Fawkes while he heard his head of house quietly leave, to fetch Draco he supposed.

He reached a hesitant hand up to pet Fawkes, his beady eyes inspecting Harry’s every move, yet made no contest so Harry gently stroked a hand down his neck, the bird nuzzled into Harry’s touch and chirped. Harry smiled.

“I think she likes you, Harry.” Dumbledore said softly, watching the boy closely. “I always thought she was a good judge of character.”

Harry smiled again, not taking his eyes off the bird. Since entering the wizarding world, he’d realised how his heart rate calmed around animals. It was strange since the only animal he’d really been in contact with before Hogwarts was Ripper, Aunt Marge’s horrible dog and maybe a few spiders in his cupboard. Yet from Hedwig to Hagrid’s dog Fang, and now Fawkes, he felt calm in the animal’s presence. Animals didn’t judge you; they treat you with the respect that you show them, and that was what Harry liked the most. He wished more human’s had those principles.

Speaking of people who Harry wished shared those values in life, Snape and Draco had entered the office.

“Mr Malfoy. Thank you for joining us, would you like to take a seat?” Dumbledore said.

Draco sauntered in, a smirk on his face before he cast a sneering glance Harry’s way before taking the seat Snape had previously vacated. Harry stood awkwardly by Fawkes, the bird’s presence seemed to put the boy at ease and he didn’t want to sit back down.

“Did you bring your watch?” Professor Snape addressed Malfoy, he stood behind the boy with his arms crossed. Harry noticed that his voice was more clipped than usual when talking to the Slytherin boy.

Draco lifted his left sleeve up and revealed the gold magical object that had been the reason for all of Harry’s current woes.

“May I have a look at it?” Dumbledore asked and Draco shrugged and didn’t object to the headmaster as he handed it over across his desk. Dumbledore placed the watch in front of him on the table and then pulled his wand out his sleeve and pointed it at the object, and muttered a spell Harry didn't recognise.

Harry’s eyes widened and Draco stood up in shock as a bright, silver burst of magic surrounded the object in a shimmering swirl. The magic in the air was thick, Harry felt it buzzing in his blood in response.

“Harry, if you could reach out your hand?” Dumbledore spoke and Harry was so enchanted by the magic he almost forgot to listen to what his headmaster said. He lifted his right hand up gently and instantly the magic surrounding Draco’s watch was hovering above Harry’s hand in a glimmering, buzzing sphere. Harry felt the magic rushing over his body and shivered.

The magic changed from a sparkling silver to a pale green. Harry looked up to see Dumbledore softly smile and with another flick of his wand the magic dissipated, and Harry felt the buzz of the magic leaving the air with a whoosh, his felt his hair blow slightly in the wind.

“What did you do to my watch!” Draco immediately protested, reaching over the desk to snatch it back, and inspect it. “If you’ve caused it any harm, my father will hear about this!”

“Mr Malfoy.” Snape warned. “Show some respect to your Headmaster.”

“Apologies, my boy. Your watch has suffered no harm and remains as it was when you brought it here.” Dumbledore softly replied, unaffected by Draco’s outburst or disrespect.

“Then what on earth was that?” Draco haughtily replied. After receiving a glare from his Head of House added a begrudged “Sir.”.

“It was a simple identification spell, it let me know if Harry had ever been in contact with your watch." Dumbledore explained patiently. "It only is possible to perform such spells with old magical artifacts, such as your watch as it possesses its own internal magic which can be interacted with, if one knows the correct spells, of course.”

Harry saw Draco’s face become more and more pale as Dumbledore spoke. He clutched the watch closely to his chest, as if it would reveal all his secrets.

“I think that has cleared everything up, wouldn’t you agree Professor Snape.” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling at Harry, who was looking frantically around to understand what was happening around him. Did that spell prove his innocence? Had this whole scheme been exposed? Harry knew he'd never touched Draco's watch, was that what the green light in the spell confirmed?

“Quite.” Snape chimed, and Harry snuck a glance at his professor to see his deep obsidian eyes studying him already. Harry squirmed under the attention. “Thank you, Headmaster.”

“Perhaps if Harry leaves now, he could still make it to his first class. Charms is it, my boy?” Dumbledore addressed Harry, ignoring Draco’s pale face.

Harry nods quickly. He can hardly believe he was being allowed to stay. His heart roared in his chest. The Slytherin’s hadn’t managed to best him yet.

Harry stood up, grabbing his bag hastily. He didn’t want to leave too slow for them to change their minds and expel him anyway. His hands shook a little still as he lifted his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave.

“Potter.”

Snape’s voice quietly stopped him before he made it to the door and he immediately froze, his heart plummeting.

He turned to face his fate, but Snape just stared and finally said. “Report to my office after your last class.”

“Yes sir.” Harry sighed softly. He wasn’t off the hook completely then. Maybe Snape wanted to give him detention for causing this mess, simply by existing. It wouldn’t be too surprising.

“You’re dismissed.” Snape replied and Harry quietly exited the headmaster’s office. He breathed a sigh of relief, hoping his heart would stop racing soon.

He heard Draco’s faint pleas of innocence behind the wooden door and allowed himself to crack a small smile.

---

Harry told his friends in Gryffindor what had transpired in a hushed voice in the library but their reaction wasn’t at all what he expected, as they all gaped at him in shock.

“Harry, that’s quite serious. They framed you.” Hermione spoke first, a small wrinkle between her eyebrows which Harry only usually saw when she was tackling a particularly hard Transfiguration problem.

“Yeah but-“

“And you could’ve been expelled.” Neville continued.

“And lost your wand.” Ron added.

“Yeah, but I didn’t.” Harry frowned. “Didn’t you hear me when I said Dumbledore did a cool spell and proved I never touched it?”

“That sounds wicked mate.” Ron replied, offering Harry a small grin. “But what the Slytherin’s did was so cruel. I didn’t realise it had gotten that bad, especially since you started to protect your trunk. I can't believe you have to be in the same house as them.”

Harry looked down, embarrassed. He was embarrassed to be in Slytherin. He still wished he was in Gryffindor.

“I wish you were sorted in Gryffindor, Harry.” Neville said softly. “You shouldn’t have to put up with them.”

“You should be able to feel safe in your own dorm, Harry.” Hermione placed a hand on his, on the table. “But I’m glad Dumbledore saw through their schemes and you’re still here. We’d miss you, if you left.”

The Gryffindor’s words rang in Harry’s head throughout the rest of the day as he attended classes as normal. Draco was notably absent, and the other Slytherin first year boys seemed to have realised and cast confused glances at Harry but nevertheless seemed to leave him alone.

He’d known the Gryffindor’s for a few months, and he liked to this he knew them pretty well, but he hadn’t expected their shocked reaction of concern for him. He wasn’t even a real Gryffindor; he didn’t really deserve their concern.

It was the end of the day, and Harry found himself making his way to Snape’s office, a little worried why the Professor wanted to see him. He knocked softly and remembered the last time he was in the office, when McGonagall had caught him and Draco flying and deposited them at Snape’s door.

“Enter.” Snape’s voice rang out, bringing him out of his thoughts as he hesitantly opened the door to see Snape waiting sat behind his desk.

Harry said nothing and went in to sit on the stool placed in front of the desk. He perched on the edge, as if ready to run if he needed to.

“Mr Malfoy confessed that he hid the watch under your bed. In order to get you in trouble.” Snape finally spoke, his eyes studying Harry closely.

“He- he did?” Harry stuttered in shock. He couldn’t imagine Draco confessing to anything involving Harry.

“I realised I owe you an apology.” Snape said, his jaw clenched, as if it pained him to say so. “You were indeed telling the truth, and I shouldn’t have condemned you so quickly.”

Harry couldn’t help himself from gaping at his head of house. Had he stepped into an alternate universe?

“Close your mouth before you attract flies.” Snape drawled and Harry prompted closed his mouth. “Answer a question for me, Mr Potter.”

Harry nodded slowly. Hopefully it wasn’t one of those trick questions.

“What is the real reason you don’t spend time with the other Slytherin boys?” He asked.

Harry paused. He was unsure what to answer. He’d already told him that the Slytherin boys didn’t like him. Wasn’t that enough of a reason to not spend time with them?

“I guess they’ve decided that I don’t belong in Slytherin house.” Harry finally responded, his voice quiet and unsure.

“And what about you, Mr Potter?” Snape asked.

“What about me…? Sir.” Harry replied.

“Do you believe you belong in Slytherin house?” Snape clarified. For once his voice sounded patient and not condescending or angry. Why was his head of house acting so strangely?

Harry shrugged and pushed his glasses up his nose from where they’d dropped. “Um. Not really." Harry replied, honestly. "Sir.”

Snape’s jaw clenched. Harry worried he has said the wrong thing.

“The sorting hat placed you in Slytherin, did it not?” Snape finally said, his voice seemed clipped and sharp.

“Yes sir.”

“Do you doubt the sorting hat’s magic?”

“No sir, but-“

“But nothing, Potter.” Snape interrupted; his eyes intense. Snape’s voice raised as he continued. “You belong at Hogwarts, and you belong in Slytherin house. Do you understand?”

Harry cowered a little in his chair at the Professor’s stern tone. “Yes sir.”

Snape sighed and put his head in his hands. Harry watched cautiously.

“I have talked to Mr Malfoy. His behaviour was not acceptable.” Snape said, looking up at Harry again. “I will be speaking to the other Slytherin boys as well.”

“You will?”

“The charms on your trunk of which I encountered when searching your belongings.” Snape continued. “Your dormmates were tampering with your belongings. Is that correct?”

Harry held his breath. He didn’t want to confirm, in case the other boys found out he’d told.

“Potter? Do not lie to me.” Snape gritted.

“Yeah, they did.” Harry muttered, but he couldn’t look up at his professor. He was embarrassed.

It was silent for a while. Harry could hear Snape breathing heavily. He hoped he wasn’t angry at Harry. Harry didn’t dare look up and clasped his hands together and stared at them instead.

“You will not be returning to that dorm room.” Snape said and Harry’s head snapped up at his words. Snape was forcing Harry to leave? But he couldn’t leave Hogwarts.

“But I-“

“Potter, it seems there has been a great deal of misconduct in my house and now that I am aware, I will not allow it to continue.” Snape gave Harry no chance to speak. “My students' safety in my house is my priority.”

Harry felt something tight in his chest at Snape referring to him at one of his own. He couldn’t quite understand what that feeling was.

“If you are agreeable, I have made alternative arrangements to your living arrangements.” Snape explained. Harry’s heart thumped in his chest, hoping the living arrangements were not worse than his current ones.

“Do I have a dorm to myself?” Harry asked hopefully.

Snape rolled his eyes immediately. “No Potter.” Snape sneered. “Unfortunately, the castle cannot cater to your every spoilt whim such as your relatives at home.”

Harry immediately grew sombre at his words, thinking about how that was anything but the case.

“I have instead, made arrangements for you to be moved into the fourth year Slytherin dorms, if you so please.” Snape continued; Harry stared in shock.

“Fourth year? But…”

“Potter, I do not do this often. This is my way of expressing that I do not take these situations lightly.” Snape said almost softly. “You'll continue in your first year classes. There are only four boys in Slytherin fourth year, more than enough room for you. One of my Prefects - Mr Lucas Moore - will additionally be there to look out for you.”

Harry was speechless. This was the last thing he expected from this meeting with his head of house, he expected Snape forcing him to scrub cauldrons before making arrangements such as these.

All the Slytherin’s Harry had encountered thus far in Hogwarts were not pleasant people, how would these fourth years be any different? Plus they were bigger than first years, they could definitely inflict more damage on Harry than his current dormmates. They’d also know more magic and could turn that on Harry too.

“Um no thank you. Sir.” Harry bravely said. “I’m fine in the first year dorms.”

Snape’s jaw clenched again, and his eyes narrowed.

“It is my belief you’d be much happier removed from that dorm.” Snape said. His words were kind but his tone was the opposite, it confused Harry.

“I don’t want to be a burden.” Harry said truthfully.

“It is not a burden. It is my job to look out for the safety and wellbeing of the students residing in my house.” Snape countered. “A job I have perhaps neglected until this moment. I wish to remedy that. But the decision remains to be yours.”

Harry remained silent. Snape’s sudden interest in his wellbeing was interesting and made something ache in his chest but he didn’t quite trust it. Snape had also belittled and picked on Harry, why should he change his behaviour so suddenly?

“Perhaps a preposition would change your mind?” Snape offered and Harry raised his head in interest. “Try it for a month. Residing in the forth year dorm.”

Harry waited for his Professor to continue.

“In the meantime, I will permit you to sit with your little… Gryffindor fan club …. during mealtimes.” Snape spoke, almost as if it pained him to say.

Harry couldn’t stop a small smile arising on his face. “You mean it?”

"I don't ever say things I don't mean, Mr Potter." Snape paused, reflecting. "Being a good Slytherin means being resourceful, determined and clever; using those traits to get what you want. In this case, I am offering something you desire in return for you simply doing something for me. It is up to you to decide whether that preposition is a worthy one. "

Harry paused, thinking over Snape’s words in his head and thinking about his decision. Snape allowed him time to think.

Being able to spend mealtimes with his friends sounded fun. He’d longingly looked over at the Gryffindor table ever since he'd arrived, wishing he could go laugh and joke with Ron and his brothers, talk about his schoolwork with Hermione and Neville or simply just talk about their days, away from the hushed atmosphere in the library. It would feel like he was one of them.

He’d already dealt with bad dorm-mates, how hard would it be to do it again? This time he'd have the bonus of spending more time with his friends.

“Do we have a deal, Potter?” Snape asked.

“Ok sir. Deal.” Harry responded eventually. He hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

Harry saw Snape’s lip twitch. Perhaps that was as near as Snape got to a smile.

A knock then sounded through the office, Harry looked at his Professor in confusion.

“Ah, that’ll be Mr Moore.” Snape said before ushering his prefect into the office. “I asked him here to take you back to your new dorm room. You'll find Hogwarts will have adjusted to accommodate you.”

Harry recognised the boy vaguely from the common room and the great hall as he entered politely. He had light brown hair framing a thin face and string jawline. Harry noticed the prefect badge glimmering in the candlelight.

He offered Harry a small nod as a greeting Harry sent an unsure smile back at the older boy, cautious of the Slytherin Prefect, who suddenly made Harry feel small.

A thought occurred to Harry that Snape must have known Harry was going to agree to move dorms or he wouldn’t have invited the Moore boy to show him to his new dorm.

It made him think again about what Snape said about controlling situations to your own benefit. Perhaps making Harry think he was making his own decision was Snape’s real way of convincing Harry to agree.

Harry cast one last look at his head of house as he was leaving, watching the man for any other changes. He was unnerved by this new Snape, but he hoped he was here to stay. Even just for a little while.
To be continued...


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=3741