December 12, 1991

“Ron, come on or we’re gonna be late to breakfast,” Harry said while shaking his ginger friend awake in bed. After Ron seemingly woke up, Harry made his way over to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He looked at himself in the mirror and took in his appearance. He had bags forming under his eyes from the lack of sleep he had been getting the past week. Not only has studying for the end-of-term exams been brutal, but every night Harry felt extremely guilty about blowing off his dad before he left. What if the mission is dangerous and he never comes back?

Ron came into the bathroom and patted Harry on the back. Harry had told him about what happened, and he felt bad for his friend. “Ready to go down mate?” Ron asked.

Harry nodded and splashed some cold water on his face then followed Ron down into the common room. As they were leaving, there was a flyer on the wall that they stopped to read. Harry felt his chest constrict and thought he was going to vomit or pass out. Or both.

“Attention students:
Due to recent events, the castle will be closed for all students over the course of the winter holidays to strengthen the wards.
Students must return home for the break.
We apologize for any inconvenience.”

“Well guess this means mum and dad won’t be going to Romania to visit Charlie anymore since we all have to go home,” Ron said with a simple shrug of his shoulders. He turned to look at Harry and saw Harry look visibly ill. “Harry, you alright?” Ron asked.

Harry got out of the trance he was in and looked at Ron. “Ron…” He began but it came out as a hoarse whisper. “Ron I can’t go home. I can’t go back to my aunt and uncles I just can’t!” Harry said worriedly.

“Then don’t. Just come to the Burrow I know mum and dad would love to have you. I guess we’ll just have to tell McGonagall or Dumbledore but I’m sure it will be fine,” Ron suggested.

Harry started to calm down. Ron had a point he could just go to the Burrow for the two weeks. That shouldn’t be a problem. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go eat before we miss breakfast,” Harry said and pulled Ron with him out the door already in a better mood.

****

The rest of the day went by without trouble or any major event. After the last quidditch practice of this year, Harry made his way back into the common room and joined Neville, Hermione, and Ron on the sofa. Hermione was of course reading one of her history textbooks and Neville was reading one about Herbology. Ron on the other hand was flipping through a Quidditch magazine like always. Harry smiled and sat down next to them pulling out his defense textbook to read.

“Ugh, Harry not you too! Come on, how about a game of Wizard’s chess?” Ron asked putting his magazine down.

“Ron seriously! We have exams next week; don’t you think you should pick up a textbook for once in your life?” said Hermione.

“Ah but you just said next week, so that’s a next week's problem!” Ron snapped back. “What d’you say, Harry? Chess?”

Harry looked between his two friends and then glanced over at Neville who just shrugged. Harry sighed, “just one game Ron and then we both study.”

“Boys,” Hermione muttered. “Well, I’m going to the library where I won’t be distracted,” she said and grabbed her bag and turned on her heel to leave.

All three boys just shrugged. Ron went up to grab his chess set leaving Neville and Harry alone in the common room.

“Do you wanna take a turn at playing, Neville?” Harry asked.

“Nah thanks, Harry but I’m rubbish at chess. I prefer to watch,” Neville said.

Harry laughed a little, “don’t worry Neville, I’m rubbish too. Ron always beats me whenever we play.” Harry started to think back to the time he and his dad played a week ago. Severus had obviously crushed him, but he gave him tips about moving his pieces.

Harry’s mood automatically shifted. He started to get the anxious feeling again wondering if Severus was going to be okay or not. He looked down at his wrist and saw the leather band with a medallion in the middle. He thought about calling for help to just get Severus to come back so he could see him again. He knew he couldn’t do it for the hell of it, but what if he truly was in danger?

He thought about the announcement this morning about having to go home for break. He knew he had to talk to Dumbledore about it, and as much as Ron tried reassuring him this morning, he didn’t have too high expectations. ‘But maybe now since Dumbledore knows what they did and he knows dad will never allow me to go there again,’ Harry thought to himself.

Ron came back down and set up his chessboard for the two of them. He went to call Harry over but saw that Harry looked far away and was shaking his leg anxiously. He glanced over to Neville and saw him looking at Harry too. Ron walked over to them and sat down on the couch.

“Alright, Harry?” Ron asked.

Harry snapped his head towards Ron. “Oh uh yeah… just thinking about um… break,” Harry replied.

“Yeah, it sucks, doesn’t it… Gran wasn’t too happy to hear that she had to cancel her trip to see her friends,” Neville piped in.

“Yeah… the Dursleys won’t be too happy to see me,” Harry said sounding defeated.

“Mate, I told you to just come to the Burrow with me. How ‘bout we go ask Dumbledore now to give you some peace of mind?” Ron said while standing up.

Harry reluctantly agreed. “It might be better if I go alone, you two stay here and I’ll come back,” Harry told Ron.

Ron agreed and he suggested that Neville play the game of chess with him, no matter how rubbish he claims to be.

****

After a long discussion about why Harry needed to speak to the headmaster, Professor McGonagall gave him today's password and now Harry found himself at the entrance to his office.

His hands felt clammy, and he couldn’t stop clenching and unclenching his fists. After a moment of just standing there, he finally muttered “licorice wand” and the gargoyle swung around granting him access. He knocked on the door after climbing the stairs.

He heard shuffling around the office and the door swung open. “Harry, my boy, how nice to see you. Please do come in,” Dumbledore said while stepping aside.

As Harry stepped into the office Dumbledore placed his hand on his shoulder and guided him over to the chairs in front of his desk. “Is there something I can do for you, Harry?” he asked.

Harry swallowed and wiped his hands on his trousers. “Um, actually sir… I was wondering if I would be allowed to go to the Burrow and stay with the Weasley’s over the break?”

Dumbledore leaned against his desk. “Harry,” he began gently, “I’m afraid not. You see, there are potential dangers that may happen over the course of the break which is why Hogwarts has to close so you must return to the blood wards your relatives protect you with.”

Harry felt like there was a huge weight on his chest. He could hardly breathe. He just nodded to the headmaster and stood up. He couldn’t be in here anymore and had to get away to be alone.

“Thanks, sir. I still have some studying to do so I’ll be going now,” Harry said as he practically sprinted out of the office.

Harry ran through the castle and didn’t even know where he was going until he found himself in front of Severus’s office door.

He started pounding on the door with his fists, tears streaming down his face. He wanted Severus. He wanted his dad.

He stopped pounding on the door since he knew no one was going to answer it and slid to the floor placing his head on his knees. He never thought he would ever need someone as he did right now. He never thought he would ever be able to say he needed his dad because he thought his dad had been dead.

“I’m such a bloody idiot!” He screamed out. Harry stood up, wiped his face, and made his way back to the Gryffindor tower.

Instead of staying in the common room with Ron and Neville, he muttered that he was tired and went up to his bed. He drew the curtains closed and fell back face-first into his pillow and cried.

“I want my dad,” he continuously whispered until he fell asleep.