Not Enough Time by Scott Berg
Summary: What will happen when Professor Snape finds out some startling truths about the boy who lived, can the truth change his cold heart and can he truly heal him when arrives at Hogwarts in a much worse state then anyone could have imagined or is it to little to late?
Categories: Healer Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required)
Snape Flavour: Snape Comforts, Snape is Depressed, Snape is Desperate
Genres: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: Abuse Recovery, Injured!Harry
Takes Place: 1st Year
Warnings: Character Death, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes Word count: 9506 Read: 4644 Published: 18 Feb 2022 Updated: 19 Feb 2022

1. Chapter 1 by Scott Berg

2. Chapter 2 by Scott Berg

3. Chapter 3 by Scott Berg

Chapter 1 by Scott Berg
Severus Snape was feeling distinctly irritated this morning. It was the start of a new year and he'd just had the unenviable pleasure of watching Potter junior aka the brat who lived get sorted into Gryffindor following in the footsteps of his parents the previous evening, and now the boy had gone missing. He hadn't been seen in the Great hall at breakfast time and according to Professor McGonagall he had not been seen since his new friend the youngest Weasley had left him getting ready in the dorm, they had expected he would meet them in time for their first lesson but, worryingly there was still no sign of the boy. A thorough search of the Gryffindor common room and dorms had turned up no sign of him so now all the teachers had been put on high alert and were searching the castle from top to bottom.

He was starting on the lower floors, and he was annoyed it was typical Potter that after less than a day he was already disrupting his classes by pulling some sort of stunt attention-seeking celebrity that he was just like his father but even by his standards this had to be some kind of new record, and yet he couldn't quiet that niggling voice in the back of his head that insisted something didn't fit with that picture.

He'd observed him discreetly last night noting how small and pale he looked and how his eyes had widened to the size of saucers at the sight of all the rich food in front of him, stuffing his face with atrocious table manners as though he'd never seen a decent meal before and was afraid someone would snatch the food from under his nose. at first he'd thought it was merely his relatives spoiling him and failing to instil any proper table manners in the brat but reflecting on it he wasn't so certain. If he was truly like his father he would have come strutting into the hall this morning like he owned the place, heck even if he was ill he would have put on an act in front of everyone and wanted a fuss made of him and yet there was no sign of him.

He would never admit it but, the boy reminded him of himself at that age and that worried him, he had not exactly had the best childhood. He remembered his first feast and being violently sick afterwards, he had not been used to so much rich food heck he was not even used to being served a decent nutritious meal if he was being brutally honest. He had found a quiet bathroom to use, too embarrassed to seek help and too disgusted with himself to let anyone see him in such a state.

With that thought suddenly in his head, he ran in the direction of the nearest boys bathroom, black robes billowing behind him hoping his hunch was right. He carefully opened the door stepping in and looking around, calling out the boy's name. No reply, no sign of anyone retching, a positive sign? Then he spotted something dark sprawled on the floor. "Potter!" he barked out as he walked cautiously across to investigate, casting a Lumos and hoping that his usual stern, intimidating voice would snap him out of his stupor and disguise the rising feeling of dread inside him.

Damn no response! He quickened his pace before stopping and looking down at the boy sprawled in front of him all feelings of hatred disappearing into shock and concern as he quickly knelt beside him performing a diagnostic scan with his wand. As he waited impatiently for the results he looked him over, noting that he was barely breathing and had a worryingly pale, almost grey tone to his skin.

Finally, the results were ready, he read the parchment with increasing concern. This was not good: malnourished and stunted growth, multiple infected open wounds, possibly several broken or fractured bones, and significant blood loss. All telltale indicators of abuse but most worrying was the fact that all his vital signs appeared to be fading rapidly and the signature from his magical core was incredibly faint, no doubt his magical energy had been spent just trying to keep him alive.

Thinking quickly, he summoned his Patronus "quickly find the other teachers and Poppy, tell them I found Potter and he needs medical treatment urgently!" he watched as his Patronus bowed its head before gracefully turning and galloping off, splitting itself into several copies as it exited the room. As he tries to think what he can do for the boy a sudden thought occurs to him, he summons his Patronus again he speaks to it urgently "find Albus, tell him Potter's in trouble he needs to bring the stone urgently!"

He tried to stop the rising dread inside of him as he turned his attention back to the boy. It would do him no good to panic when the boy so desperately needed his help, unfortunately, he simply wasn't sure what if anything he could do to save him when he was this far gone. Concentrate Severus, he told himself, pull yourself together and remember your medi wizard training, think through what you know you can do for him and for goodness sake breathe! He paced back and forth for a minute before he managed to calm himself and clear his head and set to it working swiftly and efficiently. He remembered a charm Poppy taught him that would help ease his breathing, regulate his heart rate and cast it over the boy along with a few others to try to stabilize him.

Carefully he lifted the boy and adjusted himself so he's sitting with him in his lap. He was glad now that he decided to fetch his shrunken medical kit with his supply of emergency potions although he had been anticipating that he'd be giving him a simple stomach soother not vital life-saving potions he thought as he set out the potions casting Engorgio on them all. He decided it would be safer to spell the potions directly into him instead of worrying about him potentially choking on them in his unconscious state as he uncorked a blood replenisher and fever reducer.

He'd done all he could think of to help him. He allowed himself to breathe and finally took a good look at the boy, Lily's son, so this was the child he'd pledged to protect. God's teeth he resembled his father with his glasses and messy hair but that was where the resemblance ended he realised with a start, up close he saw there was so much of Lily in his face. He'd been all set to hate him but how could he hate such a vulnerable boy, a child who truth be told reminded him much more of himself as a child than his arrogant spoilt brat of a father. He felt so frail in his arms he thought, noting with concern how light and cold he felt pressed against him, emaciated to the point where he could feel his bones jutting out.

Summoning a blanket, he wraps it gently around him as he cradles the boy in his arms supporting his head and massaging his hand trying to return some warmth and circulation to him.

What had his supposedly loving family been doing to leave him in such a state? The family that had been trusted to keep him safe, yet it looked like they'd taken pleasure in beating and starving the life out of him. He cursed himself why had he allowed himself to be so stubborn and caught up in his own emotions, so blinded by his past that it hadn't occurred to him to take a more active interest in the boy to check he was safe, he supposed he'd always been happy in his ignorance assuming that he would be spoilt rotten like his father, dreading the day when he would have to face him and all that he represented. He forced himself to take a deep breath to steady himself and calm his emotions, he would deal with the family later for now saving Lily's boy had to be his priority.

The panic inside of him rose up further as he felt the life ebbing out of him more quickly than he could repair it "Harry? Stay with me Harry please" he pleaded.

He felt so weak and sleepy, his Aunt and Uncle had been making him suffer more than normal for his magic the past weeks since the strange giant of a man called Hagrid had shown up and taken him to buy his school supplies. Said supplies had been promptly locked away and since then he'd endured more beatings than normal and barely enough food, he'd spent the rest of the holidays trapped in his cupboard only being dragged out at regular intervals to do chores or endure more beatings.

Often he felt like giving up but he kept fighting through the pain determined to make it to Hogwarts to be a Wizard just like his Mum and Dad. He'd done it, he'd made it, he'd been so relieved to finally get on the Hogwarts Express where he could rest for a while and then at last to Hogwarts to be sorted but the last day had been too much for his tired bruised body. He was amazed that he'd woken from that first glorious deep sleep in a real bed but he had managed to get up on dead limbs, roused by his new friend Ron. His friend, his first real friend who didn't think of him as a freak, that made him smile to think of that as he'd stumbled out after him and tried to make it down to the hall, he'd tried his best but he'd told his friend that he'd catch him up and had found himself lost and weak, unable to carry on he had stumbled blindly into the bathroom collapsing on the floor into a blissful deep sleep.

Everything had felt so heavy he hadn't been able to rouse himself. All he wanted to do was let sleep overtake him but now, he heard a voice coming from far away calling his name. It sounded soft and familiar and it felt comforting "Dad?" he wondered out loud, confused, something about that didn't fit, he couldn't remember his parents' faces or their voices, well not really, but at that moment he didn't care. He was massaging his body, it felt so good distracting him from the overwhelming pain, he couldn't remember anyone comforting him like this before. He tried to open his eyes to focus on the voice, he wanted to see his Dad.

Severus was beginning to give up hope when suddenly he heard his soft faint voice. Dad? He'd called him Dad? He must be confused, he'd never been anyone's Dad, he a former Death Eater certainly didn't deserve that honour. Then again, the boy most likely didn't remember his parents much, maybe just this once he could make amends, if it gave him some comfort "I ... I'm not your real Dad you know that right? but I can be if you'd like me to, son" he said softly, hesitantly, brushing his hair aside trying not to think how much he looked like his father as the green eyes blinked open.

Harry struggled to open his eyes and focus on the face that must be his Dad "it hurts Dad" he moaned, while his vision settled. His Dad wasn't what he was expecting. He looked somehow familiar, though he couldn't place where he knew him. His face was long and pale framed by long curtains of black hair and dark sad eyes that looked down at him with concern.

He watched as the boy opened his green eyes, taking him in. Pain? Of course, he was in pain, he thought feeling like an idiot, if he could do nothing else for him he can at least make sure the boy's not in pain "it's alright I know, I'll make it better I promise" he says soothingly running a hand gently over his forehead mopping away the cold sweat, he rummaged through the collection he'd laid out "Harry, here drink this son" The boy obliges and he helps him by tilting his head back and carefully pouring it down, he grimaces at the taste but, doesn't resist "good boy, I know it doesn't taste nice but, it'll help with the pain I promise" he soothes rubbing his back.

Minerva McGonagall is still searching when she sees Severus's Patronus bounding gracefully towards her, she listens to the message before hurriedly following it back to the bathroom. She hears Poppy's footsteps close behind her as she reaches the door, they freeze in the doorway, shocked by the sight that greets them as the other heads of house catch up to them. She's surprised to see Severus sitting with the child cradled in his lap. Something about the scene warms her heart while at the same time leaving her fearing the worst. Using her finely-tuned animagus hearing she can just hear the soft words exchanged between them and is more than a little surprised to hear Harry calling him Dad even more so when he replies by calling him son, soothing him and offering him a potion.

They approached carefully, quietly coming to stand next to him. Startled he looks up at them sensing the silent question on her lips is he going to be ok? He shakes his head sadly, a tear in his eye, his expression says it all no, he's not going to make it he's too far gone, I don't know enough to heal him in time she looks away sadly trying not to cry. Poppy hugged her, resting her head against her shoulder, sharing her grief before turning back to the pair and putting on her professional face. She spots the parchment and the pain-relieving potion and summons the parchment, reading it with growing concern.

She kneels next to him "Harry, I'm the nurse, can I look at you?" she says, trying to move him closer to her.

"No I want to stay with my Dad, don't make me leave him!" he cries, resisting and flailing his thin limbs about, clearly upset.

She looks at Severus "Poppy let him stay with him, he appears to have formed an emotional bond and clearly feels safe with him" Minerva intervenes, she looks up and nods her agreement.

"Ok Harry, it's alright we won't move you, let's just adjust you though so I can get a better look at you, ok?" he looks up at her through his tears and nods, they adjust him so she can get a better look at him and she quickly checks him over. She notes with approval Severus's handy work and adds some more complicated charms to try to heal any damage she can and make him more comfortable before standing shaking her head, realizing with shock that he's been left in this state for too long for even her healing skills to have much effect.

"Harry, why didn't you come to find us and get help? We could have healed you sooner if we'd known" he admonishes gently, not wanting to admit to him that they probably can't help him now.

Harry looks back up at him remembering what his Aunt and Uncle told him, they warned him what would happen if he told anyone how they treated him but if this is his Dad he'd protect him right? He decides to take a chance, after all, he's helped him so far "they said I was a freak, I did bad things so I deserved to be punished and I didn't deserve to be healed. They said bad things would happen to me if I told anyone and that no one else would want a worthless freak like me"

The adults all gasp in shock at this. Severus struggles to contain the anger that's rising inside of him until he feels a hand on his shoulder, he looks up and sees Minerva looking down at him, they did this to him, the muggles, his relatives, she nods eyes burning I knew we shouldn't have left him with those people.

He nods back breathing, composing himself. "Harry, they were wrong, you're not a freak and there are loads of people who would have provided you with a real loving home, who told you such horrible lies? You should have told us we would have healed you"

"Aunt Petunia and Uncle Dursley, they punish me when I'm bad, they don't like when I do weird things, they beat the magic out of me and Dudley and his friends beat me up" he admits feeling embarrassed. Severus looks at him still in shock, I knew it, of course, I should have guessed it was Tooney, she always hated me and Lily and called us freaks when we were kids, Albus never should have left him with her, he shakes his head sadly.

Harry watches him with distress as he realises he's crying. He reaches out a hand to his face "What's wrong Dad? Don't cry" he asks, his voice full of concern.

Severus looks at him in shock that he's upset at his tears "we shouldn't have left you there, we should have checked on you, we could have rescued you sooner if we'd known"

"It's alright you didn't know, you're here now, you've saved me, look no more pain" he smiles weakly.

Severus tries to smile back sadly at that "no son it's not alright, what they did to you, it's abuse and it's not acceptable. We should have checked you were ok, we could have saved you a long time ago. I'm so sorry. Your Aunt hated me and your Mum when we were kids, she always called us freaks, I should have fought against you being placed there"

Harry looks at him eyes wide in shock "you knew my Aunt and my Mum?" he asks.

"Yes I did, your Mum was my first and best friend, she used to call me Sev. She was amazing, the first person I knew who could do magic other than me and my Mum, she was so beautiful and pure" he says smiling fondly as he recalls her.

"Sev" he says, testing the sound of the name, "I like that, can I call you Sev?" he enquires.

He smiles back at Harry "yes you can call me Sev, I'd like that. You remind me of her, you have her eyes, her smile and her kind heart " he says looking down at him thoughtfully, ruffling his hair gently.

"I do? I don't remember them" he says looking down sadly "would you tell me about them, Dad?" he asks hopefully.

"No, I suppose you don't. Yes, I'll tell you. Your real Dad was called James, we didn't get on but he was very brave and I know that he loved you a lot. Your Mum was the kindest person I knew, she was brave and determined like you she was the one person who made me feel special and complete"

"What did they look like?"

"You've never seen a photo of them?" he asked in astonishment, Harry shook his head.

"While your father looked a lot like you, he was considered to be very good looking, and he had messy hair and glasses. Your mother was truly beautiful though, she had fiery red hair that seemed to glow like gold when it caught the light and she had the most brilliant vibrant emerald green eyes just like yours, and her smile could bring light to even the darkest day" he pauses thinking "hang on, I think I've got something here you'll like" as he undos the top buttons on his robes and shirt and reaches down, bringing out a metal locket on a chain around his neck, it shines like silver, engraved with delicate flowing lines over the cover. He slips it over his neck and drops it carefully into his hands. Harry examines it in awe, tracing the patterns with his fingers, carefully he presses a catch on it opening it so Harry can see the two pictures inside, the two of them standing together outside Lily's house proudly trying on their new school robes looking excited with big smiles on their faces and their first photo taken together at Hogwarts still looking happy after being sorted the best of friends. Harry gazes in awe at the photos, reaching out to touch them, the strange pale boy with dark hair and intense dark eyes and the girl with fiery red hair and green eyes so much like his own.

"That's her, my Mum? And you Sev?" he nods.

Harry makes to give the locket back, Sev shakes his head pressing it into his hands " no keep it" "really?" he asks astonished "really it's yours, Harry, I want you to have it" he says gently taking the chain and slipping it over his neck "thanks Dad, sorry I mean Sev, it's beautiful"

Sev smiles "you know your Mum was good at potions and charms, we used to like spending time together brewing potions" he says wistfully.

Harry looks at him in awe "I heard someone mention that" he frowns, the mention of potions triggers something, and it clicks where he remembers the man from now "I know you, you're my potions teacher, right? Professor …"

He smiles at Harry "Professor Snape, Severus Snape Harry, and yes you're correct I do teach potions."

Harry absorbs this then looks disappointed, Sev notices and looks at him with concern "Harry? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that I was really looking forward to my first potions class. I wanted to be good at potions and charm like my Mum. I was hoping to show you how good I was and that you'd like me and want to teach me how to do it properly but the Dursleys locked my stuff away so I couldn't study" he says looking disappointed and embarrassed.

He listens his face clouding with anger, he shakes his head trying to suppress it. He sees Harry struggling again to remain awake, he gently shakes him by the shoulder trying to rouse him "Harry stay with me son, you'll miss my famous potions lecture if you fall asleep now" he says teasing him.

Harry rouses at that "I tried Dad, I tried to hold on and be strong. I really wanted to hold on so I could be a Wizard just like you and Mum and Dad and be good at potions and charms like Mum but it was too much and I wasn't strong enough" he says weakly resting his head back against him.

"I know son, I know it's alright, you've done well, my brave boy, we're all proud of you" Sev says soothing him and running a hand through his hair and across his forehead.

"Dad?" "Yes, Harry?" "Will you tell me your lecture? I want to hear it Sev"

"Of course son I'll tell it specially for you, I think you'll like it" he says repeating his standard first-year lecture, despite his exhaustion, Harry listens, entranced, mesmerized by his intense dark eyes, his soft tones and magically enthralling way of speaking, imagining all the beautiful potions.

"Now then how about I test your knowledge, would you like that? Then you can show me how clever you are" he asks, hoping that a few questions will help him focus his mind and keep him with him a few minutes longer.

Harry nods managing a weak smile "I'll try Dad I don't know if I'm very clever though, I always had to pretend to be dumb so I didn't get higher marks than my cousin"

"It's alright son, things will be different now, you can just concentrate on learning and having fun and if you don't get it all that's ok, just try your best, I'll be proud of you no matter what" he promises "now then can you tell me what I would get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" he asks.

Harry ponders this for a minute, he's sure he's read it but his head feels fuzzy "uh hang on, I'm not sure. I think is it the Draught of the Living Death, sir?" he asks nervously.

Sev looks at him in surprise, so clearly he's had a chance to do some reading, he smiles "that's right and it's a very powerful sleeping potion. It reminds me of your mother" Harry looks at him in wonder "Asphodel is a type of Lily and it represents mourning and love that endures beyond death and Wormwood represents sorrowful parting because even the best of friends must say farewell" he explains trying not to think of how his thoughtless actions caused him to lose his friendship with Lily and how her life was cut so painfully short. He had been almost tempted to overdose on that very potion when he heard of her death. "I will tell you another one as well, white lilies represent purity and innocence and it is said they flower on the graves of those who have been unjustly killed"

Harry looks at him in shock "really Sev is that true?"

He smirks knowingly "yes I know that it is true, I have seen the flowers on your parents grave" he doesn't bother to tell him that he has cast the enchantment himself that ensures that lilies will always grow gracefully around her grave, a different kind of pure white lily for each season. "Now then do you know where you'd look for a Bezoar?" he asks, curious to see how he'll do with this one.

Again he thinks for a minute, he's sure he's seen this one, he remembered it was quite interesting and a little bit disgusting "oh I remember this one, isn't it a stone that you can find in a goat's stomach, it has something to do with poisons right?" he enquires looking up eagerly.

Sev laughs amused at his excitement "that's right you can extract a bezoar from the stomach of a goat and use it to cure most poisons. Now then one last one for you, what's the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?" he asks, wondering if this will catch him out.

Harry looks at him, he thinks back to the book he thinks they may be the same, he studies his impassive face wondering if he's this is some kind of trick question "uh aren't they the same plant, I think they may be related to Aconite"

He looks down at him impressed, not bad to say he's not been able to study over the holidays, he thinks that with the right encouragement he might have made a good brewer like his Mum, he feels sadness as he realises he'll never get the chance to teach him and nurture that talent.

"That's right and yes Aconite is another name for them. You'll make a fine brewer one day with that kind of knowledge, your Mother would be proud of you as am I"

Harry's face lights up "really you mean that?!"

He nods smiling "I do and trust me I don't give out praise lightly"

He senses him fading again and looks up at Minerva, she senses it and kneels next to him so Harry can see her face "Harry?" she enquires gently.

He looks across at her, smiling as he recognizes her face "Professor?!"

"Yes, Harry" she smiles back.

"I'm glad you're here Professor, I'm sorry if I missed your class I didn't want to let you down"

"Don't worry, it is alright child you didn't let anyone down Harry. I'm glad I'm here with you too" she agrees.

"You mean that?"

"Yes I do, I remember your parents and Severus fondly, he and your mother always seemed to end up getting into some mischief together while your father was always trying to win her affections" she says sincerely.

"Can you see him to? The Professor he's my Dad now, he's a good Dad right? He made me feel better"

She smiles with amusement, glancing across at Severus, who flushes looking embarrassed. "Yes Harry I can see, I've never doubted that Severus would make a good Dad, I've tried to tell him as much myself, I can see how much he cares about you as do I" he reaches out his small arms to her and she leans over wrapping her long thin arms carefully around him and hugging him.

"I'm glad you're here, promise you won't leave me" he whispers into her ear.

"I won't, I promise, I'll be right here with you" she says slowly, letting him lean back into Severus' arms and holding one of his small hands gently in her own.

At this moment they feel a rush of wind from above them and hear a shrill cry, they look up to see Fawkes the magnificent flame red and shining gold colours of the Phoenix glistening as he circles above them. He flies in increasingly lower circles until at last, he releases something, dropping it carefully into his lap away from Harry. Startled Severus picks it up, unwrapping the heavy bundle as the Phoenix lands nearby. It's the stone, the stone that Nicholas Flamel has used to create his elixir of life. He wonders if it will work on Harry, realizing the error in his earlier thinking. It needs to be prepared so he can brew the elixir of life before it can restore life to the boy and now there is not enough time, he silently curses himself for not thinking of that.

Harry feels exhausted from all the exertion of staying awake and talking and feels himself fading, the pull of the dark and the voices of his parents, his Mum and his other Dad calling him stronger than ever. He tries in vain to resist. He sees the bright feathers of the bird and reaches out stroking it mesmerized by the beautiful glistening colours, the bird appears to enjoy his touch rubbing its head gently against him.

"Harry stay with me son" Sev shakes him gently again realizing that his time's running out.

"I'm trying Dad, I can't hold on much longer" he looks at his Dad's face noticing he's crying he seems so sad, he doesn't like seeing him sad and distressed "Dad what's wrong? Don't cry Dad, it's alright" he says trying to lift a hand to his face.

"I'm sorry Harry I'm just thinking how much I'm going to miss you, I barely know you but I don't want to lose you, son. I'm truly sorry, I should have saved you sooner" he says sadly looking away, he was powerless to save Lily, and now he's powerless to save her son who he'd sworn to protect.

"It's alright Dad don't be sad, look you saved me now, you took away the pain, I've never had someone take care of me like that. I'm going to miss you to Dad but look I'm going to see my other Mum and Dad, I can hear them now, they're calling me now, it's alright they're proud of me"

He pauses "do you love me, Dad?"

He looks at him through his tears trying to compose himself, he looks directly into his beautiful green eyes "Harry I love you, I could not love you any more if you were my own son and I couldn't be more proud of you, you are a very brave boy" he says stroking his cheek softly.

"Dad?" he says resting his head against his chest and nestling into his soft black robes, smelling the calming aroma of dried herbs emanating from him.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Promise you won't let me go, you'll stay with me till the end Dad, I don't want to be alone anymore" he asks nervously, his voice fading.

He hugs his small body pressing him gently up closer to him caressing him "I promise son, I will always be here with you, I'm not leaving you not now, not ever, not now that I've found you at last"

"Thanks, Sev. Love you Dad" he whispers with his last dying breath as his life force leaves him.

"Love you to Harry, my son" he whispers as he feels the last of his life slip away and his body flops limply in his arms. He hugs him to his chest cradling him and allows the tears to flow freely into his messy black hair, releasing so many years of pent up emotions, who would have imagined he could care so much for one small boy. He has had a brief taste of what it is like to be a father to look after Lily's son and give him the love and care he so desperately needed. He could have had a son, could have raised him as his own and now … now he's gone and he never wants to let him go. He hates himself right now as he thinks guiltily how needless his death is and how it could have been prevented if he'd known how he was suffering if he had just taken an interest and not allowed himself to be so blind.

Fawkes leans over the boy shedding a single tear, even that is not enough to heal him now, he joins the man's cries with his shrill call echoing through the castle, throughout the castle students and staff pause as the call cuts through the air sensing a great tragedy has occurred.
The End.
End Notes:
See To turn Back Time for alternative ending
Chapter 2 by Scott Berg
Minerva placed one hand on his shoulder, looking at him with concern, "Severus? Are you alright?"

He looks up slightly at her through red-rimmed tear-stained eyes and a curtain of black hair "no Minerva I'm not ok. I held Lily dying in my arms knowing I was too late to save her, I promised Albus I'd protect him for her. I couldn't protect her, I didn't even get a chance to protect him"

She looks at him in shock, wrapping her arms around him and Harry "Oh Severus I never knew, I'm so sorry. You mustn't blame yourself, you did all you could, you tried to save him and you brought him comfort at the end, he died knowing he was loved and wanted."

He allows her and the other teachers to comfort him "no, it wasn't enough. I vowed to protect him for Lily but I didn't do enough to check he was alright, we could have saved him if I'd acted sooner instead of allowing myself to be so willingly blinded by refusing to let go of the past. Do you know what it's like to lose them both?" he pauses "you were never meant to know, I made Albus swear to keep it a secret to protect all of you in case he returned. I didn't want Harry to know I cared. I thought it would be safer and I guess I was worried about how he'd react, how I'd react. I thought it would be better to protect him in secret, I didn't count on him touching my heart though"

"Oh Severus, hush now lad" she said as though he were still one of her students "I know how close you were growing up and how hard it must have been for you to lose her. You must not be so hard on yourself, we are all guilty of neglecting our duty. I could have checked on him easily enough as an animagus and no one would have been any the wiser but I allowed myself to placated and complacent instead of following my own instincts and allowed myself to trust Albus's judgement. We will make this right I swear"

Meanwhile, Albus hurried down through the corridors, he was engaged in a meeting when Severus' Patronus arrived and so didn't notice it until he arrived back in his office. Quickly he found the stone and offered it to his Phoenix Fawkes who seemed to sense the urgency of his task gliding swiftly up and through the corridors. Now he stood in the doorway gazing in shock at the scene that confronted him, Minerva and Severus sat next to each other heads hung low as if in grieving, a small dark bundle was nestled in the man's arms. No, it couldn't be, Harry!

"Severus, what's wrong? What's happened?!" he exclaimed, rushing over, eyes on the bundle in his arms "no Harry! What happened Severus, is he alright?" he asks, kneeling in shock opposite them.

Minerva looks away her eyes full of tears not able to look at him, Severus glares at him accusingly his eyes blazing with fury and still shining with tears his voice comes out hoarse but, angry "it's too late Headmaster, he's dead"

"Dead? No, surely Harry can't be dead? How, what happened?" he replies in a daze, reeling from the shocking news.

"Yes Headmaster, the boy is dead. Dead by the hands of his muggle relatives, no less, he was too far gone for us to heal him" he says feeling all his pent-up rage rising to the surface threatening to explode.

He looks at him in shock "now Severus surely that is a bit of a wild conclusion to jump to are you sure it was his relatives that did this?"

He snaps at this, fully consumed by his rage after all the years of suffering he's endured "I've experienced abuse, I've witnessed it first hand and I've seen the signs in some of my students. I know abuse when I see it and this is abuse, Harry told me himself as he lay dying, how they treated him, telling him he was a freak who deserved to be punished and did not deserve to be treated when he was injured. They hated him for his magic and locked his things away. Petunia was always bitter and jealous, she always called me and Lily freaks even when we were children. Oh yes, no one could upset Lily like her sister did with just a few cruel words, how someone with such a kind heart could be related to her I could never fathom. It broke my heart seeing so much of myself in him"

He paused before continuing to feel his anger burning like a raging inferno "Ironic isn't it The Boy Who Lived, the boy who survived Voldermort's killing curse killed not by magic but by his abusive muggle relatives!'' he glares coldly at him, his eyes blazing, the words cutting through the silence like daggers.

"Severus, I'm so sorry I didn't know, I didn't realize how bad it was. You're right you should never have had to endure that nor should Harry, I've failed you both, I assumed the blood wards reinforced by a loving family would provide him with the best protection, I never imagined they would treat him so badly "

"It's too late for that now, you should have listened to us and let us visit him and check he was ok. I've known her sister since I was a child, I could have told you what kind of people you were placing him with and we could have saved him before it was too late" he says glaring and shaking his head in disappointment.

"He's right Albus, we should have been checking on him, you know we all expressed our concerns, I know you did not want us to interfere for fear of upsetting them further but I could have checked on him discreetly in my Animagus form without them even noticing. We neglected him all these years when we should have been making sure he was safe" Minerva adds.

"I am so sorry Severus. I don't know what to say except that I thought I was doing what was best for him, that they would take good care of him and resent our interference. It is my fault we should have put more safeguards in place to check that he was safe"

"Sorry does not cut it headmaster" Severus told him coldly "He thought I was his Dad, no he chose to call me his Dad even when he recognized me as his teacher. Do you know what else he told me? He said he tried so hard to hang on so he could get here and be a Wizard like his parents. He wanted to learn charms and potions, he wanted to impress me so that I'd teach him to brew potions like his Mother. An innocent child has lost his life because of your decision to place him with a family who hated him and your insistence that he be left there with no one sent to check that he was alright, for that I c an not simply forgive and forget"

He reaches out to touch Harry, Severus recoils, drawing the boy closer to his body and looking angrily at him "don't you touch him!" he hisses "Do you know what it's like? I held his Mother, the only woman I ever loved in my arms as she lay dying knowing I couldn't save her. I gave you my word, on your insistence that I would do everything I could to protect him, to protect Lily's son for her, to honour her memory. That's what you told me, that's what I've worked for these past ten years and for what for nothing!, he would have been safer at Hogwarts than living with those muggles! I couldn't save him, I was too late, everyone I've ever cared about and trusted has betrayed me or died. Do you have any idea how that feels?! I can not do this anymore!" he says his voice choking up with hot, angry tears.

Albus looks away sadly recalling the battle with Grindelwald where he lost it all forced to battle his former best friend, he lost his sister that day because of his selfish actions, the sting of rejection as his own family cut all ties disgusted with him "I do Severus, I carry the grief and the guilt every day like a burden, her death still haunts me as I know that Lily's death haunts you, we have both seen far too much death" he pauses looking up at him "I take it then that you have grown to care for the boy, I was under the impression that you hated him?"

He looks at him in shock then looks away hanging his head as he realises that he almost did hate him "no, not anymore, how could I hate him when I saw him lying there so helpless and vulnerable. He was all I had left of her and the closest thing I had to a son, he accepted me and chose to call me Dad, we had far too little time together. I could have saved him and been a Father figure to him, I could have bonded with him, I could have nurtured his interest in potions and taught him so much, now I will never have the chance, I will never know what we could have had" he breaks down body trembling uncontrollably Minerva draws him to her trying to comfort him as she sees the overwhelming sadness in him.

"Severus my boy, please, believe me, I'm so sorry, you of all people deserved this chance at redemption, this chance to love and be loved just as Harry did. I think you could have helped each other to heal and forget the past. This is my mistake, I promise you I will do everything I can to make amends and seek justice for Harry he will never be forgotten I swear it"
The End.
Chapter 3 by Scott Berg
Author's Notes:
Regarding the reference to the song, Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton, it's always been a poignant, beautiful song for me. Particularly since my own Dad passed away in 2013 when I was 21. At the point when he passed he was terminally ill, I was volunteering that day and I had a feeling that was going to be the day, I took myself off to a quiet corner to reflect and sing some songs including this one and Yesterday. It felt fitting then and the song feels very appropriate for how Severus must be feeling about losing Lily and Harry, who could have been his son if things had turned out differently and him wondering if they would welcome him warmly at heaven's door. Following the example of some of the amazing writers who have included song lyrics throughout their stories, I have included the lyrics for the song.

As for Severus asking Harry the questions, I wanted to do something a bit different and show that Harry was genuinely interested in potions. I also wanted Severus to explain about the special meaning of Asphodel and Wormwood, I'm sure I'm hardly the first person to pick up on the deeper meaning of the question. I found a small book at home called Garden Spells by Claire Nahmad which has some interesting information dotted through it including a section on Florigrpahy or the Mythology of flowers, it states that: 'each flower and tree has a message, and a meaning, and is invested with a mythology which is sometimes beautiful, sometimes sinister'

Interestingly, the combined meaning for Asphodel which is mourning 'our love shall endure after death' and Wormwood which is sorrowful parting 'even the best of friends must say farewell' surely sum up how Severus feels for Lily and combines to make a potion that he would no doubt have been tempted to take in the deepest depths of his despair and mourning. In addition, there are several entries for Lily, the one I went with was the white Lilly, which symbolises purity it is described as follows: 'In folklore, the lily is an emblem of innocence, purity and virginity. It is said to grow of itself upon the graves of those unjustly condemned and executed.' which seemed very fitting given how she died and the idea of Lilies naturally growing over her grave (all be it I've given them some added help from Severus seemed like a perfectly beautiful imagery.
Later that day the students arrive at the Great Hall noting with surprise that the huge doors are barred shut, students start murmuring in confusion as they all congregate noting that none of the teachers are around. Suddenly they all turn towards the steps at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, watching in shock as a procession of teachers led by Professor Snape make their way down the stairs, their heads bowed in grief, each lost in their own thoughts.

There are shocked gasps as they reach a landing overlooking the hall and the Professor steps more clearly into view and they get a clear glimpse at the bundle in his arms. There are cries of shock as some of the students recognized Harry's limp body and several of the students shouted out in protest and murmurs spread through the crowd that he had poisoned him. The buzz of noise increases as more and more students start to murmur and whisper angrily between themselves with arguments breaking out between some of them and still, the Professor stands with his head bowed numb to the world around him.

Dumbledore watches in anger, stepping forward and raising his hands, gesturing for silence, he feels his anger swelling inside him as the crowd ignores him until they reach a fever pitch. He lifts his wand, sending red sparks out, catching the attention of the arguing students "enough!" he calls out sternly, his voice booming. The students stop staring up at him in shock, unused to hearing him raise his voice, they are reminded that he is a force to be reckoned with, a truly powerful wizard responsible for defeating one of the most powerful dark wizards in modern times. He moves forward standing beside Severus and putting his hand firmly on his shoulder showing everyone that he has his full support, around him Professor McGonagall and the other teacher's move forward surrounding him and forming a protective circle around him in solidarity.

"I will not tolerate these kinds of rumours being spread around this school, is that clear?" there is uncomfortable silence "I am extremely saddened to announce the sudden and unexpected passing of one of our new students, Harry James Potter"

"I will say this quite clearly and only once Professor Snape did not poison Harry. He is a well respected and trusted member of staff who has served with us for many years. I'm well aware that Professor Snape is a strict teacher but I also know he would not think twice about sacrificing his own life to protect any student under his care from danger. He did not poison Harry. It was Professor Snape who found him and alerted myself and the rest of the staff to his condition. Professor Snape was the first to administer medical treatment to Harry, he stayed with him and offered him much needed comfort and support in his final moments so that he could pass in peace. We all owe him a sincere debt of thanks for this and regret that we did not realise the severity of his situation sooner so that we could prevent his death"

"I think that it is only right that we should now spend several moments in silence remembering Harry Potter not just as the Boy Who Lived to whom we all owe a great debt but more importantly, the innocent young boy who discovered a wonderful world full of magic and simply wanted to be a Wizard like his parents. He has sadly left us far too young, I am sure that all of us will feel and grieve his loss deeply even though most of us did not have the pleasure to know him well"

The Headmaster quietly incanted Lumos, lifting his lit wand, the gesture is seen and repeated spreading through the staff and students until the whole hall is lit in soft orbs of light. The students and staff bow their heads respectfully as one comforting each other unable to comprehend that Harry Potter is dead. The shrill cry of Fawkes calling out again is the only sound that pierces the silence.

"If anyone must accept blame and responsibility for Harry's death it should be me. I was the one who believed that he should be placed with his blood relatives for his protection against the Dark Lord and his followers should they ever return seeking vengeance. I genuinely believed it to be the best place for him where he would be loved by his family, unfortunately, I did not realize the depth of their hatred towards magic or that he would be abused and neglected so badly by his own family and by the time we were made aware of this it was too late to save him. His death is a result of my failings, we must all learn hard lessons from this"

Poppy ushers Severus out with the other teachers still surrounding him protectively as she leads him back up to the Infirmary. He sits in shock, still cradling the boy in his arms remembering his last promise to the boy never to let him go and leave him alone as his fellow teachers offer their condolences, eventually he drifts off into an uneasy sleep haunted by dreams of the boy who he could not save.

Later that week a memorial service is held for Harry on the grounds of Hogwarts overlooking the lake, the whole school attended and many people came to pay their respects to him.

Many of the students had not had much chance to get to know him and had been more excited by hearing the name of the famous boy who lived than they were interested in getting to know the boy Harry and were now wishing they had taken the time to get to know him instead of just looking to try and befriend him because of his celebrity status. The older Gryffindors keenly felt the loss of one of their own young Lion cubs, their house simply would not be the same without his presence.

Ron Weasley was one of those reflecting. He who had been overshadowed by his older brothers had lost his first real friend. He'd had few chances to make friends and wished that he hadn't acted like such an insensitive idiot, asking him all about his scar. Harry hadn't cared that his family wasn't well off, he'd accepted him without question and made him realise how lucky he was to have such a loving family, he'd been so innocent and excited about the wizarding world, he wished he'd had more chance to get to know him. He thinks guiltily that perhaps if he'd waited and accompanied his new friend down to breakfast that maybe he could have done something to help him or alerted a teacher.

Hermione Granger wishes that she could talk to the other children as easily as she could immerse herself in books and memorise them, for a gifted but socially awkward child like her other kids were just so complicated, she never seemed to make friends easily and yet there'd been something about Harry that she'd liked, he seemed so interesting and friendly much more so than the boy she'd read about in her books. She'd hoped that she'd be in the same house as him and would maybe even get the chance to one day to be friends with such a remarkable boy, it saddened her to think that she would never get the chance.

Neville Longbottom wished that he'd made a better first impression on Harry. His Gran had known the Potters and told him many stories about how his parents had been good friends with Harry's parents when they were growing up. He could sense that Harry was kind and fair like his mother had apparently been and not at all acting like the celebrity the rest of the world saw him as. He thought that he could have been a good and loyal friend and he regretted to his deep shame and embarrassment that he hadn't made a better first impression than just being the clumsy boy who'd lost his toad.

Even Draco Malfoy was reflecting on his encounter with Harry Potter and wondering how it had all gone so wrong. His father had insisted he should attempt to befriend him and align himself with Potter as he was likely to be a powerful wizard and could become a valuable ally. Yet when he had come in determined to impress Potter and present a good first impression, Potter had seemed unimpressed by the display of power and the Malfoy name seemingly preferring to hang around with penniless blood traitors like Weasley's instead. He had been unimpressed by power and wealth and had been almost insulting in his rebuffal. Draco couldn't believe he had been so rudely snubbed and attacked by a filthy, mangy rat, he had been all set to make Potter's life hell in retaliation, but perhaps it was he who'd got it wrong. Perhaps he should have done things differently shouldn't have taken his father's lessons so much to heart and should have gone in with a bit more modesty instead of flaunting his power after all much as he hated to admit it they did at least seem to be having a good time as appose to him being stuck with his gormless childhood friends Crabbe and Goyle, true they were good as muscle and general lackies but really they didn't have a brain cell between them, hardly good friend material.

Severus is still standing close by refusing to leave his side whilst many of the teachers stand together united in their grief.

Music is playing in the background, and one song, in particular, captures the mood for Severus Snape, a muggle song called Tears In Heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know, I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day
'Cause I know, I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace, I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know, I don't belong
Here in heaven

'Cause I know, I don't belong
Here in heaven

The words float on the breeze, resonating deeply within him and he wonders, as he did so many years ago, if they are up there watching over him if one day he will be reunited with Lily and Harry. If they will greet him as friends and forgive him for his mistakes, he hopes that one day he can atone for his misdeeds.

When the service is over they levitate his small coffin between them before a much smaller crowd walks outside the grounds to a point where they can apparate to Godric's Hollow, they appear just outside the graveyard and quickly locate his parent's graves, a hole is quickly made between their graves and the small coffin is carefully lowered in. A marble headstone marks the grave, the inscription to the boy who lived, hero of the wizarding world does not do justice to a boy who suffered so much in his short eleven years of life, how can such simple words ever adequately sum up such a life.

Gradually the crowd disappears until one man remains behind shrouded in billowing black robes, he falls to his knees in front of their graves Lily and Harry his face covered by a curtain of black hair hiding the tears that roll down his cheek, remembering another day years ago when he stood here heartbroken grieving for the lost life of the only woman he ever loved, the deaths for which he felt so responsible for, he couldn't save them. He summons a wreath to appear before each grave, the cold autumn breeze whipping around him sending the leaves flying, he feels nothing, not the cold, not the wind that cuts through the mourners thick robe as he laments mourning the family that he never had the chance to have, the boy who he'll never see grow up, was it his fate to forever walk this path alone as punishment for his sins?

Tears spill from his face, splashing to the ground and the soil parts as a new plant emerges, fresh shoots pushing their way up before a single bud opens up to reveal a beautiful Lily flower, simple and pure white as the child who has been laid to rest, even in death there can come new life.
The End.


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