"Are you well enough to go to the apothecary to buy a core replenishing potion?" Snape asked. Harry nodded.

Instead of making Harry ask for help, Snape rummaged through one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out a pair of scissors. He helped Harry remove his t-shirt and then cut the bandages away that were holding his arm to his side. Now that his arm was free Harry was able to retreat into his bedroom to pull the rest of the bandages off of his ribs and put on a clean t-shirt and his hoodie again.

Back in the living room Snape had money waiting for him so he could go to the apothecary.

"Buy a class six core replenishing potion. They should be against the wall by the front window. It will be a clear dark blue and will be labeled. If he does not have a class six available, purchase a class five."

"Yes sir."

Harry took the money and left the flat. Snape had bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn't slept at all. Maybe it was just from his core being drained. Harry had never suffered from a drained core, but it didn't look pleasant, and they'd been warned in first year about performing magic that was too advanced for them and potentially dying or losing their magic altogether if they drained their core completely.

After being stuck in the flat for five days, not counting his one late evening journey to the Chinese restaurant, Harry was glad to be out in the fresh morning air. There weren't too many people out yet because it was still early, and it was nice to be in an open space.

Harry pushed open the door to the apothecary and the man looked up from where he was writing something down next to the till. He gave Harry a smile and said, "I was wondering if I'd be seeing you. What can I do for you today Mr. Potter?"

"I need a class six core replenishing potion," he said.

The man raised his brows and pointed to the wall where there were shelves of potions, and potions lined up on top of an apothecary cabinet that held dried ingredients people could measure out themselves.

"I have one in stock. It'll run you two galleons."

"I have the money ready," Harry said. Snape had sent him with just a bit more than two galleons worth. Harry went to the wall and began looking for the core replenishing potions. There were six of them and they were each different colors. There were numerous class one potions, a few class two's, and two class threes, but only a single class four, class five and class six. The prices of these went up by nearly twenty sickles each time the class of core replenishing potion rose as well.

Harry had just picked up the dark blue potion he needed when the little bell above the door announced another customer. He turned and froze, potion in hand. Oh no. Not now. I can't be here if he's here. What do I do? Look down. Look down! It took several moments of screaming at himself in his own mind to get his body to move, and he looked down and let his bangs fall into his face just as Amos Diggory turned from the counter from where he'd stopped to say hello to the apothecary. He didn't seem to notice Harry or to care at first and turned back to the apothecary behind the counter to ask him about several potions he needed for work.

"Do you have them in stock?" Mr. Diggory asked. "I visited three apothecaries yesterday and no one had them."

"Should have at least one of them," the apothecary told him. "And if I don't have the others I can make them up in a day if you can wait. Let me go into the back and check."

Harry assumed the apothecary had disappeared into the back, leaving him alone with Cedric's father. He was shaking, every word the Hufflepuffs had thrown at him that term racing through his mind.

"What have you come in today for lad?" Mr. Diggory asked.

No. Leave me alone. Just go about your business. I'm not here at all. There was nothing for it because he'd seen Harry's hands shaking as he held on to the glass phial with the blue potion with a death grip.

"You all right there?"

Harry's eyes teared up. Murderer. Cedric's parents will be missing him this time of year. How does it feel to kill someone Potter?

"Mr. Potter, you ok?" the apothecary asked as he came back out with whatever it was that Mr. Diggory had come in for.

"Potter?" Mr. Diggory's voice was so quiet Harry wasn't sure if he had heard it at all. There were footsteps and someone was in front of him. Harry flinched, and after a few moments Mr. Diggory's hand came into view and gently lifted his chin up so Harry had no choice but to lift his face and show the man his wet eyes. At least the tears hadn't fallen yet and trailed down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. Mr. Diggory looked as though he was ready to cry as well. "I didn't mean to kill him. I'm sorry."

He let go of Harry's chin and said, "You didn't kill him."

Harry shook his head vehemently. "I murdered him."

"Who told you that?" Harry had never seen Amos Diggory angry until now and it was a bit frightening to see his face morph from concern to anger so quickly.

Harry looked back down, letting his hair fall forward into his face again. "Everybody says it."

"Who specifically?"

He shrugged. He didn't want to talk to him about it, but he couldn't refuse to answer any of his questions either. Harry was responsible for killing the man's son. He owed him whatever answers he wanted. "Some of Cedric's friends. Most of the Hufflepuffs."

Cedric's father took in a deep breath to steady himself and then startled Harry as he reached out both hands and put them on Harry's shoulders. Harry looked up, surprised. "You are not a murderer. There was nothing you could have done. Nothing, do you understand me? Cedric was older than you... he knew more magic, and he couldn't stop him either. You were both victims..." he trailed away, eyes rising to look at Harry's scar like people so often did. "You more than once," he said. Harry was still shaking, and was surprised when the man pulled him into a hug. He didn't know what he was talking about. The Hufflepuffs and everybody else knew this was Harry's fault.

"It should have been me. Then you'd still have Cedric."

"I wish I still had Cedric," Amos said then, and his voice sounded choked. "I would never wish to trade another child for him though. You deserve to be alive as much as he did. His mother and I have never blamed you for his death. Not once." He let go of Harry then and Harry's throat was too tight to speak as he used his sleeve to wipe his eyes. He was aware the apothecary he'd done business with so frequently that summer was still there watching and listening.

"How long has this been going on?" Amos asked. "With the Hufflepuffs?"

Harry cleared his throat so he could attempt to speak. "All year," he said.

"I happen to know Cedric counted you as a friend," Amos said. "He wrote home about you and told us how you didn't want to be in the tournament but were being forced to participate."

Harry nodded his head slowly.

"Don't listen to them anymore." Amos looked like he had more to say, but turned instead to the counter to pay for the potions he had come for. On his way out of the shop he paused to look at Harry again, but Harry couldn't bring himself to meet his eyes, and the man left. Finally alone in the shop again with the apothecary, Harry stepped up to the counter with his potion and handed over his coins.

"Is that for Severus?" the man asked. Harry nodded.

"Is he all right?"

"Yes sir."

"If he needs something else, come back and I'll have it for him."

"Yes sir. Thank you." Harry left, feeling bad about having caused a scene in the man's shop. He had hoped never to encounter Cedric's parents again, though the encounter had certainly gone differently than what he would have imagined.

He stopped on the landing outside of Snape's flat and tried to pull himself together some. His emotions were still raw from the night before, and now after the encounter with Cedric's father they were ready to spill over and overwhelm him. He pushed open the door and went in with the potion. It appeared that while he was out Snape had ordered in breakfast as there were boxes of takeout on the counter filled with eggs and other delicious food.

"How much was it?" Snape asked warily as Harry set the potion on the counter. Harry was aware the man was looking at his face and probably his red eyes.

"Two Galleons."

"Better than I expected. You were gone for some time. Was he teaching you about core replenishing potions?"

"There was another customer," Harry said, sitting down to eat his breakfast. He just wanted to be left alone for a while to collect himself.

Snape drank down his potion and ate his own breakfast and seemed to feel better for it after a few minutes. He didn't look as exhausted as he had earlier that morning.

"I will not be able to apparate us back to Hogwarts. I will arrange for us to use the Floo somewhere so we do not have to take the train."

Harry nodded and went to his room.

At lunch time Snape called him out because he'd ordered food again, and as Harry sat down to eat Snape said, "We will be leaving after lunch to return to the school. We have some things to discuss before we depart however."

Harry didn't want to discuss anything with him. He was too worn out, but resigned himself to the fact that he didn't have a choice if he wanted to get back to Hogwarts that day. He didn't know what Snape wanted to talk about, but was surprised when he said, "You were forced into this apprenticeship by your uncle, not because he wanted to set you up for a better academic future as he told me, but for some other reason."

Harry looked up from his food at him and their eyes met. That was exactly what had happened. "He wanted to get rid of me. He didn't want me hanging around after I graduated Hogwarts. He thought it would make it so he wouldn't have to deal with me during the summer or over holidays."

"Knowing that makes this an apprenticeship that is both illegal and immoral. There must be a valid reason that will benefit the apprentice if the apprentice is under age and entering into the apprenticeship against their will. Now I know there is no reason and the apprenticeship should be dissolved."

Harry couldn't take his eyes off of him now. Snape was going to let him off the hook? That would look terrible for the man... Soren had told him that apprenticeships were rarely ever dissolved.

Snape kept talking when Harry didn't respond. "Dissolving the apprenticeship leads to one problem however. I currently have custody of you, meaning I can ensure you do not return to your relatives. If the apprenticeship is dissolved, that will no longer be the case."

Harry huffed and went back to his food. That was how things usually worked out for him.

"If you were to be willing to stay in this apprenticeship, it would no longer be an illegal apprenticeship as you would not be involved against your will. If you stayed and we did not dissolve the apprenticeship, I would do what I could to help you and keep you safe."

Harry frowned. Hadn't the man already been keeping him safe? Hadn't he already helped him out in several ways? "What does that mean?"

"Whether you choose to stay my apprentice or not, I will do what I can to ensure you do not return to your relatives. If you stay my apprentice that gives me full guardianship over you until you are seventeen or no longer my apprentice. In that instance I will do what is necessary to ensure you remain safe and healthy, and to meet your needs. However, in order to do that, you must tell me what those needs are. I cannot help you if I do not know what you need. Hiding injuries, hiding the truth about difficulties you are experiencing... these things will only harm you."

A lump rose in Harry's throat. He'd never been made an offer like that before. Snape had already been doing his best to make sure he was fed and clothed, so he knew the man would keep his word in that regard. There was something Harry needed that he didn't think he'd ever get though. It was something Snape couldn't give him... wouldn't give him. He knew his eyes were tearing up but he didn't have the energy to stop it, not after what had happened in the apothecary's shop that morning.

"What is it?" Severus asked.

Harry shook his head hard.

"If you tell me, perhaps I can help."

"You can't."

"Tell me anyway."

Harry wiped his sleeve across his eyes. He stood up and went into his room and shut the door. He couldn't tell Snape because the man would scoff at him. Aunt Petunia came to mind... not his aunt Petunia, the make-believe one he sometimes conjured in his mind's eye... the aunt he wished for... the aunt that hugged him and wiped away his tears and didn't look at him with cold eyes. What Harry needed was a family. He needed to feel loved, and felt like it just wasn't in the cards for him. He was glad that Cedric had known what it was to feel loved when he was alive. Harry knew Cedric's father had loved him, because earlier he'd seen the tears in the man's eyes as he'd left the apothecary.

Harry needed that like he needed air to breathe, and when he thought about it too hard or for too long, it felt like all the air had left his lungs. In those moments it was hard for Harry to get his breath back. How could he get Snape to understand what Harry had only just come to grasp himself?

He packed the clothes he had with him back into his bag along with his apprentice books and went back into the living room a few minutes later. He had to give Snape an answer and there was really only one answer to give him if he wanted to stay at Hogwarts over school holidays.

"I'll stay your apprentice."

Severus gave a slow nod. He had to ensure the boy wasn't doing this against his will or else the Ministry would come after him and dissolve the apprenticeship and potentially revoke his potions mastery. "Are you staying my apprentice because you feel as though you have to, or because it is what you want?" A lot depended on the fifth year's answer.

"You said there has to be some benefit to me, if I'm to be in the apprenticeship against my will."

"Yes."

"The benefit is that I'm not returning to my relatives. I get fed three meals a day and don't get locked out of the house in the snow. I have clothes that fit me for the first time since I can remember, and I have all the school supplies I need so I don't have to borrow from my friends. It doesn't matter if I want it or not." Harry needed it, and was realizing for the first time that this apprenticeship was a lifeline that had been thrown to him to help him survive this turbulent year and his remaining years until he turned 17. His emotions were too churned up to admit to himself just now that he wanted to continue on with the apprenticeship as they had been... to keep learning about mushrooms and foraging for plants in the woods where it was quiet and calm... to keep meeting with Soren and Master Edric and going to gatherings with others in the potions community. It was something he wouldn't be able to admit to himself for a long time.