Whatever It Takes by SanctuaryAngel
Summary: Taking place directly after the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry is trying to deal with his trauma from the course of the events of the war and struggles to confront it, along with trying to manage his grief. Snape survived but disappeared in shame and remorse after the battle. Harry finds him, and they both discover that they have more in common now more than ever - Both are struggling with their sense of self and purpose. But stray Death Eaters from the battle are re-grouping for a final stand to take out the great Harry Potter, and their traitor, and Harry and Snape must put aside their differences to end the fight once and for all, whilst dealing with Snapes' illness along the way. Explores darker themes of grief, self-blame, PTSD, depression, and suicidal ideation.
Categories: Misc > No category on the site fits Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Arthur, Draco, Fred George, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, McGonagall, Molly, Narcissa, Neville, Ron
Snape Flavour: Snape Comforts, Snape is Depressed, Snape is Desperate, Snape is Stern
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, General, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: Abuse Recovery, Depression Recovery, Injured!Snape
Takes Place: 8 - Post Hogwarts (young adult Harry)
Warnings: Character Death, Eating Disorder, Panic attack, Self-harm, Suicide Themes, Torture, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 65 Completed: Yes Word count: 443363 Read: 27043 Published: 01 Feb 2023 Updated: 02 Sep 2023
CH 30: Second Light by SanctuaryAngel
Author's Notes:
Another Severus POV chapter.
"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

- Plato


+ + + + +


The boy. Potter…

Severus Snape was terrified. He didn't want to admit it, but he was shaken to his core. This boy, this Chosen One…So determined to fix this broken man, that the possibility of surviving left an unnerving emptiness he did not expect. What if he did survive? Then what? He'll end up rotting in Azkaban for the rest of his life, still hated by the majority of the wizarding world. What life was this – Roaming between Grimmauld Place and wherever else was safe for him at the time? The only person that seemed to tolerate his very existence, was Harry Potter.

Some cruel twist of fate.

Perhaps he was afraid to live, after all. He was afraid to live because he simply didn't know how to. Never in all his life had he ever been afraid to die. Even on that night when he gave Potter those memories – the final pieces of the puzzle - he welcomed death as a sense of relief. A finite end to his misery.

But now he really was afraid to die. That the threat of death now scared him and maybe the possibility of finally living gave him an odd sense of hope. This was unfamiliar territory for him. But how does a man such as Severus learn to deal with that? Perhaps he decided to hold on to this world, like a ghost with unfinished business. He couldn't fathom that at first, but the longer he spent with Potter, the more it started to make sense. Guilt was the only thing destroying him from the inside. The only thing keeping him from truly moving on with whatever life you could call this.

So, in order to appease his guilt, he began chipping away at small victories. Saving who he could, still. Rounding up his Death Eater ex-colleagues who posed an immediate danger on the wizarding world, in order to make it safer to live. For those who survived the Battle of Hogwarts, he genuinely wanted them to thrive. After everything. The only person who didn't deserve to thrive was himself. He never once made himself a priority – The first and last time he ever did that, was when he ran to the Dark Lord like a wolf sinking its teeth into something that would feed them all. He was selfish, and that selfishness came at an incredible price. He couldn't suffer through that again.

It was difficult for Severus to forgive others, much less himself. Now he felt like he wanted to continue on that pledge he made to Albus. Not only on the night he begged for Lily's safety, but on the night she was murdered. To protect her son.

But after everything that transpired by the outcome of the battle, Potter was still in danger. His work was not complete. It would have done Lily, and Albus, a great disservice if Severus were to abandon the boy and succumb to his death somewhere where no one dares to tread. Somewhere dark and forgotten, as he felt he deserved.

Potter wanted him alive. It didn't occur to Severus before, but he noticed the way Potter watching him, concerned. He's seen the fear in the Gryffindor's eyes when Severus hesitated. When at times the curse will trigger him once more, sending him deteriorating in front of his eyes. He didn't want the boy worried about him, and yet he did. Severus was shocked himself, that he even cared about this. He knew how hurt Potter was with all the losses he sustained over the course of his life. Even Severus couldn't match that. He will always feel guilty for the mistakes that cost Potter the lives of his parents. Nothing he felt he could do, will redeem him from that. But Potter was still insistent he tries.

Potter saved his life from the Death Eater that night. And yet Severus got angry at him for doing so.

The boy was getting too close to him and that was painful for Severus to accept. He couldn't afford to get close to him, too. Any sense of attachment will be ripped away upon his death, and he didn't want the boy to suffer on his accord. Attachment was far too painful. And yet Severus couldn't help but feel attached to him, too. In a strange way, even he was unfamiliar with it. That itself posed a new set of dilemmas. Now, he couldn't bear to see the stubborn Gryffindor run off into danger alone.

Severus left Potter that night and decided to find a place to subdue his racing mind. He did not want to return to Grimmauld Place that night, for fear of harsh confrontation. There was simply too much there that he didn't want to deal with, so he made the decision to turn away. Arthur Weasley was already far too personally problematic and in no way was he interested to hear what Kingsley Shacklebolt had to say. He knew he made a daring decision in leading those teenagers in there, but what was the alternative? Allowing them to go in there alone and unprepared?

He did have to pause and marvel at the feat. Teaching students how to utilise their skills and arm them with the education and practical tools they needed to survive. He actually did enjoy teaching a class, that finally knew his truth. It seemed to make teaching far easier for him without feeling like he was placed on the moral pedestal as a triple agent. He was able to teach without constraints, and that seemed to provide him with a sense of unexpected bliss. A sense of…purpose.

And they actually listened to him. They wanted to be there. That was more of a shock to Severus than he cared to admit.

Severus went to his favorite, secluded section of the Forbidden Forest where the Thestrals lived. No one was around and it was the only place where he felt truly at peace. His anger was still bubbling due to the ramifications of the fight at the Quarry, so he needed a place to cool down. He was still rather angry at Potter for putting his life on the line for him, but he was also deeply confused at what the boy was hiding from him. No wonder Potter refused to look at him. It made sense that it was an amateur reaction to his lack of Occlumency skills, and inability to close his mind yet again. Severus was unable to keep steady eye contact long enough for him to try and peer into his mind. Potter may not be the brightest student, but he was definitely clever and cunning, which definitely weren't typical Gryffindor traits at all.

Severus stayed a while among the Thestrals, sitting with them for several hours staring up into the crescent moon overhead, basking in its soft glow. A mild breeze swept through the forest, gently rocking the trees surrounding him. He needed that sense of calm and enough serenity to clear his mind. He didn't need to strain himself with Occlumency to do that, so instead, he took himself to a place that will do that for him. Severus was wary enough. He couldn't afford to waste precious energy on a skill he may never need to rely heavily on again. For this moment, his mind can be at rest.

He found himself dozing off, lightly snoring, and was awoken by the nuzzle of an adult Thestral beside him. Stirring awake, he glanced at the now orange sky, as dawn slowly approached. He didn't intend for this to be slumbered sleep just yet, but he felt incredibly exhausted and lethargic. The blood under his nose crusted over from the events of the Quarry. With a wary breath, he turned to the Thestral beside him, as he reached out with a pale trembling hand to rest on its bony snout.

"You've been quite the companion, haven't you?" The corner of Severus' lips twitched into a small smile. The creature snorted lightly, content in the company of one of the few people who dared to give them any attention. The Thestral nudged the man again, "Don't give me that. You know why I can't name you." He lifted his hand to watch as the tremor remained consistent. He knew this was one of the unfortunate effects of his illness. The poison within him halted, as the curse teased his mortality, making him further suffer in silence. A slow and painful death was not what he wanted.

These same trembling hands were the same ones who killed his previous Death Eater comrades that night. Slaughtering them, without hesitation. He was not about to let them off lightly from his grasp. But his decision also cost a poor young victim, his life. He should have foreseen that. His anger blinded him, and he should have done more to prevent that innocent loss of life. There was always another way.

It could have been Ginny Weasley dead in that cage.

Picking himself up from his perch against his usual ancient oak tree, Severus made the decision to apparate to his old home at Spinner's End. He'd been avoiding his return here ever since his mission with the Gryffindor trio a few weeks prior. Now that the dust had settled there – both figuratively and literally – He entered through the disillusionment wards that were still in place from his last visit. From the outside, it looked just like one of the usual replicas of the houses that lined this dreary street. But once you step through the magical enchantments, is then you see the extent of the damage caused by the Death Eaters who set alight his home in retaliation. A home he previously gave up to the Dark Lord's cause, and the thought of his home previously being offered up to him was utterly repulsing.

He walked through the charred doorway; the door no longer existed, as it remained in wooden splinters scattered inside. Sections of the wall of the property were missing due to its extensive damage. There was rarely an item within that provided him any sentimental value to him, but the home was still under his ownership. Not that this home itself meant anything to him whatsoever. If any, it gave him too many terrible memories as a scared little child, waiting for the next whip to the back, or bruise to the face. He was more than happy to see this place in ruins. Too many corners of the home were previously occupied by his frightened, cowering young self. That in itself was sentimental enough. It deserved to be up in flames.

With that bitter thought, Severus instinctively reached for the spot on his right arm still lightly scarred from that night his father hit him with a belt, remembering the searing pain as the buckle caught his skin. He vividly remembered leaving for Hogwarts the day after during the start of his second year and doing his best to mask the pain – both physical and emotional. Even now, those scars still remain.

Despite Hogwarts still providing him with terrible memories, it was still more of a home than this place ever was.

Once he scouted the floors for anything further he could salvage, picking apart any piece of destroyed furniture he could, Severus departed the property and Apparated to Malfoy Manor. The Potions Master began to make the familiar journey up through the pretentious cobblestone pathway, lined with various statues and pristine shrubbery, and past the large black iron gates. Brandishing his own Dark Mark like a key, the serpentine markings on the door glowed where the door opened with a click. It seems to be the only use for the faded mark, which was still imbued with a dormant power long after the Dark Lord was vanquished.

Once he walked through the front doors, immediately the unmistakable scent of alcohol wafted under his nose, setting off alarm bells within his brain. The chill in the air was sharp, and even despite the early morning light which pierced the large arch windows of the Manor, it was not enough to warm this dwelling. The bitter cold was enough to send shivers down his spine. This place held no warm memories for him. It was all but tainted by the presence of the Dark Lord, and the ill fortune that seemed to bestow anyone who was merely a guest.

Severus immediately made his way to the main sitting room on the ground floor as a good place to start. Walking into the room, he found Draco sprawled on the large sofa, lightly snoring away. His white shirt was wrinkled and unkempt; his sleeves rolled all the way up in a lazy manner. His blonde hair was messy and appeared it has been unwashed for quite some time. The Slytherin's shoes were still on his feet, and his wand lay dormant on the table beside a quarter glass of whiskey, with an empty bottle. Another empty bottle lay scattered across the ornate rug, and some shards of glass lay dangerously against the marble floor.

Severus took a few hasty strides toward the boy and watched for any abnormal signs. His breathing was deep, but not alarming. The smell of alcohol drenched the room, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that the teenager had been drinking all night. Against Severus' advice previously. Withdrawing his wand, he turned to the fireplace and ignited the flames, instantly bringing some measure of warmth within the room. Little by little, he began to vanish the broken shards littering the floor and cleaned up whatever spilled whiskey he could find on the table, including along Draco's shirt. Once he was done with the clean-up, he conjured up a blanket and gently placed it across the teenager barely causing him to stir.

He stood there for a few moments, watching his Godson carefully with deep concern and guilt for not doing more. Another boy he did not know how to help. Upon hearing the light patter of feet on the marble floor, Severus' onyx eyes darted to his side to find Narcissa standing by the doorway, looking generally upset. In all his years of knowing this woman, there was never a time he saw her looking unkempt and disheveled. Except now.

Narcissa always took pride in her appearance and took much care of the nobility and social status of the Malfoy family. She had to appear powerful; rich, and elegant. Classy, yet distinguished. To stand beside her husband Lucius in honor and commanding within their presence. To gain influence and authority within the wizarding world was their highest priority. They reveled in that power.

But now Narcissa stood at the doorway, blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun barely held together by a single silver clip. Her face contained no ounce of makeup; something she usually took great care of no matter the situation. The only jewelry she wore was her ornate wedding ring, and she wore casual grey pants and a simple black blouse. Severus cared not for the appearance of others, but for someone like Narcissa, the sight was a little unnerving and unexpected. Her eyes were noticeably red, and it was plainly obvious that she had been crying recently.

Taking a few steps away from Draco, Severus walked over to Narcissa relaxing the frown he had on his face, following her into the next room to allow Draco space to rest.

Severus turned to Narcissa with concern, "How long has this been going on?"

"Long enough," Narcissa's tone of voice was dull and wary, "Oh Severus, do not act surprised."

Severus sighed, "I discussed this with him upon my last visit. Yet again, he refuses to see reason."

The woman paused, observing the man before her, until she raised her eyebrow, "I suspect you haven't heard?"

"I have not exactly been well-versed in the social dynamics of the wizarding world recently, Narcissa."

She appeared saddened. "Lucius' case will not be put to trial. Well, at least not for a long while. The Ministry cares not for his plea but they said they may consider it in the near future. Otherwise, he will spend the rest of those days rotting in Azkaban…" Narcissa's voice broke, as she did her best to keep her composure, "The Wizengamot are hesitant in trialing Death Eaters this time. Especially those who were noticeably loyal to the Dark Lord. There is not much hope left for him."

Severus' dark eyes flashed with certitude, "I am not surprised in the slightest."

Narcissa scoffed, "How could you say such a thing? You've known Lucius for years. You adopt the same Mark as he!"

"I wasn't the Dark Lord's loyal leashed hound," Severus hissed. "It would be false to presume I'd be shocked with this revelation. I foresaw that outcome."

"And yet Draco will be, once again, without his father," Tears welled up in Narcissa's eyes, "I don't understand how you are entitled to escape punishment, Severus."

Severus recoiled, "Entitled? I am still upholding my duty. And permission from the Minister himself. Furthermore, I wouldn't go that far as to say I escaped punishment."

"Protecting that Potter brat? Are you daft, Severus? There's nothing left to protect him from! You are responsible for the downfall of our Master. Your betrayal -"

"- HE got what he deserved. As did Lucius. His choices were continually immoral. If he had any measure of concern for the safety of you and your son, his sentence would not have been as severe. Draco endured the Dark Mark to atone for his failures. Lucius put you both in incredible danger."

"Don't tell me what my husband should or shouldn't have done! You have no right!"

"And yet you and your son are paying the price, are you not?" Severus pointed to the sleeping Slytherin in the other room, to prove his point, "And now he thinks resorting to alcohol as a nightly routine will fix his problems."

Narcissa grew silent, as a few tears finally fell. She lowered her head, voice dropped to a mere whisper, "…I don't know how else to help him. I've tried talking to him, but he will not listen to me. We have no one else to turn to."

Severus exhaled softly, merely unsure of how else to comfort the distraught woman before him, "I do not know what else to suggest. I can attempt to talk to him again, but I highly doubt he wants to hear that from me. Nevertheless, I taught Draco under my wing at Hogwarts for six years. He knows me. I will see to it that I reason with him."

"I hope so. Because I surely cannot," Narcissa tried her best to brush away the tears, until she looked hopelessly at Severus.

Severus noticed the defeat in her tone of voice and did his best to reassure her, "Hope is all we have, Narcissa. Even if at times, we lose sight of it."

The woman nodded, "Yes, I suppose so."

"Don't give up on him. He is in a delicate state and he needs you on his side. We are headed into trying times, as we attempt to mend our broken lives. It is difficult for us all."

Narcissa placed her hand on Severus' forearm, causing him to flinch slightly from the unexpected touch, the faint scar lines resulting from the Unbreakable Vow still evident on her skin's surface, "I am glad you are here. Traitor to the Dark Lord or not, you've always been an integral part of the Malfoy family. That I knew, was genuine. You would not have bothered to return here if you didn't have any measure of compassion for our family. Especially, for Draco."

Gently pulling away from Narcissa, he clasped his hands behind him, trying his best to retain his personal space without offending the woman, "I always maintain integrity, and I will uphold my word that I stand by him should anything happen."

Narcissa looked relieved, "Thank you, Severus."

The man frowned, "Speaking of which, has another attempted to contact you?"

Narcissa drew in a deep breath, and exhaled softly, shaking her head, "No. Not a word. They all fled after Hogwarts, and I haven't seen them since. They must have deemed the Manor unsafe for them, for fear we might expose them out of self-perseverance."

Severus pursed his lips, "Good. For now, fear will be enough to drive them away. You don't need the added danger -" Suddenly he was struck by vertigo, as a ringing in his ears caused him to wince in pain. He swayed slightly on the spot, reaching outwards to steady himself against the doorframe.

"…Severus?"

Severus outstretched his other palm to halt the woman, "A…minor hindrance. Mind if I retreat to your guest room – "

"- Of course, you may. My home is always welcome to you. Do you need -" Narcissa was concerned.

He shook his head, "- Not at all, Narcissa. I appreciate the hospitality. I will return downstairs later to see Draco. Excuse my departure."

Severus turned away from Narcissa and began to make his way to the grand staircase, taking a shortcut through the smaller ground-floor dining room. Using the handrails to steady himself, he felt the world around him spin several times. The sudden onset caught him by surprise, and he knew he had over-exerted himself within the last few days. Once he finally reached the familiar guest room, nausea began to build up within the pit of his stomach, as he made an immediate dash to the adjoining washroom and within seconds, made it to the basin of the toilet in time to expel whatever contents of his stomach he had left. He felt the surface of his skin flush, as vertigo took hold of him once again. He shut his eyes tightly, trying his best to maintain some measure of control. He heaved again, expelling nothing but acidic bile, leaving the foulest taste remaining in his mouth. He allowed himself time to kneel on the marble floor tangling amongst his black robes until it was safe to stand again. Once vertigo had passed, he gradually pulled himself onto his feet and attempted to clean himself up at the sink basin, flushing his mouth from the extreme distaste and bitterness that he could not seem to erase.

One glance in the mirror, and he immediately regretted doing so. He felt, and looked like, he had endured several rounds of the Cruciatus curse. His head was throbbing to the beat of his own heart. His skin several shades paler than usual, and his raven-colored hair was more unkept than he ever cared for. A shower would be a wise decision if not for the urge to puke again. Glancing downwards at the dressing plastering across the side of his neck, he grumbled at the prospect of changing it again. It had become quite a daily chore for the man, and even he was repulsed by the horrific state of the infected wound. The black tendrils that were so prominently encased around the wound, had been growing by the day because it seems he consistently needed to enhance the size of the dressing in order to conceal it. He didn't want anyone to notice the gruesome progression of the curse.

For now, rest was what he needed at this time.

Once he had enough with the sight of the washroom, he fumbled within the pockets of his robe, pulled out of the remaining vials of the anti-nausea potions that Granger had so thoughtfully brewed for him previously, and immediately downed the liquid in one go. Re-pocketing the now-empty vial, he stumbled his way back to the guest bed as the sunbeams from the morning light pierced the room, causing the light sensitivity to induce a sharper headache. Withdrawing his wand, he flicked it at the curtains, but all it did, was ruffle as if a slight draft caught them. Frowning, he tried again, with all but the same result. Cursing harshly under his breath, he walked up to it and closed the curtains with frustration, and stumbled back to the guest bed. Perhaps he was unfocused due to his exhausted state. He only hoped that was the case. He felt too poorly to deal with that just yet.

An empty goblet sat idly at his bedside and Severus barely managed to successfully fill it with water – much to his relief - and downed the entire contents. He felt parched and dehydrated and knew full well he has been neglecting his own needs lately. Once he was satisfied enough, he allowed himself to lay back on the bed, and within minutes he fell asleep as he finally succumbed to his exhaustion.

Severus managed to sleep for several hours without any further disturbance and awoke feeling a little more energised and manageable in pain. Rising up from the comfort and warmth of the guest bed, he made sure to utilise the shower to refresh himself and give his clothes a proper clean with a simple charm. He vaguely remembered his fluctuating magic previously but pushed that from his mind as he blamed it merely on his lack of cognitive awareness in spite of his vertigo and nausea. Once he completed that task and got dressed, he decided to tackle his dressing, taking extra care to change the bandage without further aggravating it. It was all but a ticking time bomb, not knowing when the curse will further spread, along with its poisonous remnants. That alone was enough to scare even him.

Wandering back downstairs, Severus eventually found Draco sitting by himself in the small Malfoy library, with his face buried in a large tome. Sunlight poured from the large arch windows, casting a comforting warm glow over the old bookshelves, filled with tomes passed down through generations of the pureblood family. Draco sat at one of the varnished wooden tables, wand resting idly beside the book. As Severus stepped inside the room, the young Slytherin looked up with a frown.

"You look bloody terrible."

Severus noticed dark circles under the teenager's eyes. His face was thinner than he last recalled, and there was still a faint scent of alcohol in the air from his previous and most recent pastime. He sat down across from the Slytherin and pursed his lips. "Allow me to extend the same criticism."

With a hmpf, Draco sneered at the man sitting before him, "What are you doing here, anyway? Freedom finally boring you?"

Severus tilted his head at the teenager's sharp remark, "You seem to be under the false impression that I can roam the countryside and do as I please without consequence. I am not so free, Draco." Severus noticed Draco's look of disgust and resentment and wondered if his bad mood was influenced by the whiskey he drank overnight, "Perhaps if you refrained from consuming the whiskey as I discussed with you previously, you'd have a more reasonable and sound frame of mind. I told you that it would not solve your problems."

Draco bawled his hands into tight fists, noticeably trying to subdue his rising anger, "I suppose my dear mother told you about my father?"

Severus nodded grimly, "Yes, she has informed me. However, Draco, be thankful that you do not have your own cell in Azkaban."

"Oh yeah? Because I really have the better deal here, then, haven't I?" Draco slammed his fist on the table, tipping the dormant candleholder off the table and allowing it to fall to the floor with a loud crash. Severus did not even flinch.

"You're alive, Draco. Be grateful for that," Severus' baritone voice emitted a touch of annoyance at the teenager's lack of optimism.

"Grateful? So, the Ministry cleared me of charges because they felt pity for me? I can't even walk out of that door, without the entire pathetic magical community sneering at me in repulsion. So, don't give me that wise-cracking pep talk, Severus."

Severus eyed the teenager in warning, "Calm yourself. I cannot reason with you when I still smell alcohol plaguing your breath."

"Maybe one day you'll stop treating me like a bloody adolescent child," Draco rolled his eyes, "Huh, like you never drink. You mean to tell me you never once decided to resort to the bottle when you were neck-deep in your little spy duties?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, ignoring the Slytherin's remark about treating him like a child, "I was never an alcoholic. I drank whiskey on rare occasions, but I never allowed that to consume me. I am well-versed in the implications of that." He was almost tempted to tell him about the uncontrollable bouts of anger his Muggle father adopted when he was a severe alcoholic himself. But he really did not fancy divulging the details that often resulted in very dark nights for his younger self.

Draco said nothing, as he turned back to his book and angrily turned to the next page, still with a look of wretched distaste upon his face.

The Potions Master gave a light sigh, observing the Slytherin carefully, "Any further news regarding the retaliation efforts?"

The younger Slytherin looked back at Severus and frowned, "You mean risking myself going back out there? And for what?" Severus looked unamused, and Draco curled his lip, "No, I've heard nothing. Though I swear I've seen someone lurking out there a few times. Beyond the wards."

Severus crinkled his brow in deep concern, "…Who? Your mother was adamant she has not been contacted -"

"- That's because she doesn't know. And I'd rather not worry her like that, if I'm to be honest," Draco lowered his voice slightly. "Besides, your guess is as good as mine. They were masked."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

Draco paused in thought, "Ah, well. About three days ago, I think. I only ever saw one."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, not liking the sound of that at all. Wonderful. Just what he didn't want to hear. He clenched his jaw and leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms neatly over his chest, "Are the wards still in check?"

Draco nodded, "Yeah, they are. I check them multiple times a day. Check them yourself if you don't trust me."

"Good. Though I may suggest you remain indoors for now. I shall extend my stay here and keep a watch on the boundaries in case of foul play. I wish to catch the intruder."

"Who do you think it is?"

"I know of a few of our fellow fiends still alive. Antonin, Walden, and Merek are still at large. Though upon my pursuit at the Quarry base yesterday, neither of them was present."

Draco frowned in confusion, "Base? What are you talking about?"

Severus pursed his lips. He was hesitant to inform Draco at first but decided to keep it vague for his own protection, "A rescue mission for recent captives."

"You wouldn't have managed that by yourself. Even I know you're not that reckless. Who did you go with?" Severus remained silent, and he knew Draco was more intelligent than he believed himself. Draco's face gradually contorted in disgust, "Them? You went with them? Blimey, when do I vomit? You can't be serious!"

"My predicament is a little different from yours, Draco."

"Why even bother? Most of the wizarding world still hate you, too. Why not just pack up and leave? Forget them. It's not your job to pick up their pieces."

Severus flinched at the remark, feeling his skin flush with annoyance, "It is not that simple."

"Sure, it is. You have no need to stick around because it's not going to benefit you in the slightest," Draco curled his lip, "You should flee now before you end up in Azkaban sharing a prison cell with my father. I didn't bring you back so you could join him."

Snape eye's flashed with a building rage, as he sneered in his silky, deep voice, "That is quite enough, Draco." The man paused, leaning forward in his chair, watching the fired-up Slytherin and clearly having enough of his attitude. "My reasons are my own. You couldn't even begin to comprehend them."

"Well, I clearly know what your priorities are. Trying to get back into the good books with them? Attempting to win back whatever recognition you think you deserve? Oh, please! Yeah, I comprehend that quite well."

Severus flinched, feeling like someone drove a pin through his heart. "What nonsense are you regurgitating, Draco? I made a crucial choice to…do the right thing. When people I cared about were in danger, I saw clearly when I realised I made a terrible mistake in following the Dark Lord on this…destructive path."

"Yeah well, at least you had a choice! The right thing? What a load of bull! You don't care, you never did. You'll still grovel at the Ministry's feet to earn you a free pass out of Azkaban. If you hated the Dark Lord, why didn't you fight him yourself? You're still a coward."

Severus slammed his hands on the table in front of him, seething in rage, "I AM NOT – "

"- Whatever helps you sleep at night. SIR," Draco shot Severus the filthiest look he could muster and slammed the book closed, rising up from his chair. "This conversation is finished." With that, Draco stormed out of the Library, leaving Severus sitting alone.

Severus ran a frustrated pale hand over his sullen face, as he watched the Slytherin depart from his company. His hands were trembling and his head shook with rage, as he felt the beginnings of a headache begin to manifest again.

He didn't expect him to understand, nor was he wanting to explain those reasons to him. He had to try and remain level-headed. In time, the teenager will see reason, but that would have to be a discussion for another time. In truth, he really couldn't disclose those details to him. That he was spending the last few weeks making sure Potter didn't get himself accidentally killed. That he was still undergoing a mission to keep him safe. Sure, there really was no need to keep doing so, as the Dark Lord was now gone. But since coming to a mutual truce and an understanding, Severus never expected to develop some measure of concern for the boy. Perhaps a touch of empathy, which Severus made himself ill to even consider such a thing was possible for him.

All in all, Draco was a different boy to deal with. Draco was, essentially family, and he didn't want to let him and Narcissa down. They were relying on him to watch over their family during this time, and he had an unforeseen duty of care, and he'd be dammed to allow that to crash and burn as a repeat of his past mistakes. Now he had a chance to do the right thing, for both teenagers. Despite Draco's still skewed view of Severus' decisions regarding the war.

Severus stayed at Malfoy Manor for a few days in order to observe the wards and whatever unwanted intruder decided to appear. But neither incident resulted in any find. No one appeared in sight that may look suspicious. He very well knew that it wasn't a one-off incident and that it was highly likely that they would return, much to Severus' deep concern. Despite that, he was careful to check the wards for any sign of disturbance and was thorough in combing the Malfoy grounds as a precaution.

Each day Severus' grew warier, and he knew he'd have to return sooner or later to Grimmauld Place to retrieve the remainder of his antidotes. He didn't expect to be away this long, but he had to be certain that Malfoy Manor was safe enough before he considered departing once again. So instead of heading back to headquarters, he made the decision to contact Kingsley Shacklebolt in order to discuss those matters in private. There was no way he can be at both places at once.

Severus chose Hogwarts as the safest meeting ground to talk to the Minister, which was an ideal location for both of them. He knew he'd eventually have to face Kingsley regarding the Quarry incident, but that was not his priority as such. Severus waited, almost a little too impatiently, within the clocktower courtyard, beside the fountain he was particularly fond of. And for once, he could admire it without having to be pulled away from his teacher, Order, or Death Eater duties.

"Ah, Severus," The Minister strolled up rather calmly from the courtyard entrance, greeting Severus with his usual kind demeanor. He always favored Kingsley from the Order, as he was one of the few people he could actually wholeheartedly tolerate and at least one of the more sensible members who was always attentive to what Severus had to say.

"Minister. I appreciate you meeting with me here," Severus nodded in acknowledgment, "Apologies for the untimely notice."

Kingsley gave a small light-hearted chuckle, "Kingsley, will suffice, Severus. We've known each other for quite some time, have we not? I'm still not quite used to Minister yet."

"Of course," Severus clasped his hands behind his back, neatly, "I have a matter I'd like to address with you rather urgently."

"Yes?"

Severus pursed his lips, "It is regarding the Malfoys."

"If this is about Lucius…?"

"Not at all. That, I understand. However, my concern lies with Draco and Narcissa. I believe a Death Eater has been spotted by Draco himself beyond the wards of Malfoy Manor."

Kingsley frowned, "Are they still communicating with them?"

Severus shook his head, "No, they have completely detached from them. I have been to the Manor myself and I can assure you, that they are concerned for their lives. They want nothing more to do with the regime. "

"I see," Kingsley paused in thought, "I can suggest posting an Auror or two there to keep an eye on the property if that is what you wish? I will screen them myself to ensure that we don't run into problems again."

"That would be most helpful. I cannot always be there if I am to continue to ensure the safety of Mr. Potter at headquarters and further coordinate. I know the remaining Malfoy have been cleared of charges; however, they are also in danger."

"I will see to it that it gets attended to, Severus. Worry not," Kingsley said, reassuringly, "Besides, we need to keep you out of the limelight. Any capture by an Auror and I'm afraid my political hands will be very much bound. I alone, cannot sway the decision of the Wizengamot. I hope you are aware of the risks?"

Severus furrowed his brow, "I am indeed aware. Though you know I cannot sit around waiting."

"I understand, however, just…watch yourself. You will be of no use to anyone captured. Or dead. I'd quote Alistair, but I know you've heard that far too often to be reminded again."

"That wretched constant vigilance. Yes, and that worked rather well for him, didn't it?" Severus sneered.

"Severus. Even though I had my doubts about you as everyone else did, I still hold a measure of respect for you by what you did," Kingsley spoke firmly, but his expression turned to warning, "But please, next time you send teenagers barely of age into an extremely dangerous rescue mission, you must inform me prior. Is that understood? I will do my best as Minister to provide the necessary precautions, but I cannot protect you if you get caught."

Severus curled his lip, as he nodded. He knew full well, the implications of such a risk. However, he wasn't a fool. He would never dare send those teenagers into a danger zone unprepared and will do his utmost best to ensure their safety by any means necessary. There was no point arguing with Kingsley about this, but he did understand the man's concern. For now, he won't be taking the warning any lightly, and getting thrown into Azkaban was not on his agenda. Especially if that left both Draco – and Potter – open and vulnerable to attack.

Severus had to be extremely careful.

Departing from the meeting, Severus decided to finally make his way back to Grimmauld Place to check up on the Gryffindors. Since the attack on the Quarry, he hadn't returned as he was occupied with the happenings at Malfoy Manor and dealing with Draco's foul attitude. But he desperately needed to replenish the potions stock, both for emergency needs, and his own.

It was growing nearer to dusk, as the Spring afternoon ended. Once he reached beyond the magical boundaries of Hogwarts, he disapparated away and reappeared at the familiar enclosed park across the street from Grimmauld Place. However, upon immediate Apparition, a wave of vertigo and nausea hit him again unexpectedly, causing him to stumble and immediately drop to his knees, expelling further contents of his stomach into the unfortunate shrubbery beside him. Severus scrambled to steady himself, as he felt the world around him spin further. His breathing grew shallow, yet irregular, as the surface of his face flushed with an abnormal warmth. After waiting for a few minutes, the dizzy spell eventually calmed to a tolerable dullness, and he was able to scramble up shakily on his feet once again.

He didn't remember much from this point onward because everything seemed to spin within his vision. Narrowing missing a Muggle pedestrian on a bicycle, Severus was able to navigate himself across the street and towards the familiar black door of Grimmauld Place. Once he pushed through the door, everything became hazy.

The last thing Severus remembered, was the face of Hermione Granger racing towards him before he blacked out.
The End.


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