Harry walked into his first potions class of his third year at Hogwarts with trepidation. He was still sore despite it being a good few weeks since he left the Dursley’s. He was exhausted because of nightmares and difficulty getting to sleep in the first place. And his magic had been acting weird.

He’d thought, wished really, that blowing up Aunt Marge would be the only weird thing his magic did. But it wasn’t. He didn’t even know how to describe it, so he couldn’t ask for help because he didn’t know what was happening to him in the first place.

He felt… well, he felt weird. That was for sure.

But when he was around certain people his magic seemed to… buzz almost. There was a contentment in him when he was around these people, a feeling of safety, of warmth, and love, and hope. Then, when he was around certain other people his magic felt like it was warning him of… something. He didn’t know what but he felt cold, unsafe, unloved… used. He almost felt dirty around them.

What bothered Harry even more was who gave him and his magic these feelings.

The people who made his magic warn him of something… they were the people Harry cared for the most. Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Ginny.

And the people who made him feel safe… he was happy that Fred and George were in the worryingly short list, along with Neville. But he was shocked that Professor Snape was on that list also.

Although, at the same time, not really. He knew that the Professor had saved his life a number of times. And his time alone at The Leaky Cauldron had allowed Harry the opportunity to reflect on certain memories of his and he had seen moments where the Professor thought no one was looking at him, where he would look sad, or guilty, concerned and a number of other emotions, if only just for a second before he seemed to lock them away.

But it was a combination of all of these things that made him worried for this lesson. He didn’t want to sit with Ron and Hermione so he sat with Neville, but he could feel their questioning looks on his back. He felt insecure with the feeling of their eyes on him. His stomach also felt funny, which didn’t help matters.

The Professor stormed into the room and a wave of calm settled over Harry even as the man sneered at them all. Harry seemed to be able to see under the sneer, however, and he could feel the concern for his students, the care he felt for them which he seemed to be forced to hide.

“Today you will be making a de-aging potion,” the Professor said, his tone of voice instantly making the room quieten, “It is a fairly simple potion to brew, however, any mistake or tampering with the potion could prove almost fatal depending on what you dunderheads manage to mess up. So, I will be keeping a spectacularly close eye on you all, and if anyone, I repeat, anyone even thinks of tampering with another students’ potion, I will not hesitate to punish you accordingly. You will be working in pairs, and by that I do not mean one of you does the entire potion whilst the other person does nothing,” he glared at Ron whilst he said that, “It only takes an hour and a half to brew, and since this is a double lesson, when you are all done, we will be discussing the various uses of the potion, the ingredients, their interactions, what can go wrong during the brewing process, and such. You may begin,”

Neville got up to get their ingredients whilst Harry set up their cauldron and other equipment. Harry was surprised, and yet also not, that he and Neville actually worked well together in Potions. They both helped and encouraged each other, and their potion was actually doing well. He could see, for a few seconds when the Professor thought that no one was looking at him, that the man was impressed, proud even, of the two of them.

No one had ever been proud of him before.

And he knew no one had been proud of Neville before either.

The two of them had bonded, secretly, over their childhoods. They wanted to help each other get out of their situations but neither of them knew how without having to tell adults. They didn’t trust adults all that much. But maybe he could trust the Professor. His magic was telling him he could after all.

It was then that he heard the whizzing that indicated something flying through the air, towards him. He watched in shock as something fell into his cauldron and the potion started to bubble ferociously. There was a sizzle and he could sense an explosion coming.

He managed to push Neville out of the way before all he felt was pain as his body felt almost like it was about to implode. His eyes were shut and he thought that he was maybe getting smaller. He could hear screams and shouting, and he felt gentle, safe hands on him, trying to help.

The pain was too much though, and with a final unreal sounding scream everything went black.

…



Severus awoke with a groan of pain and annoyance. Why couldn’t the students do what he asked of them? Why did he have to be this way? Why was he forced to treat children the way he was? He just couldn’t do it, couldn’t handle it anymore.

It hurt him every time he glared at them, every time he said a horrible thing. Every time he saw fear or pain in their eyes because of something he did his heart broke all the more.

He sat up slowly, his hand on his sore stomach as Poppy came rushing towards him.

“Where’s Harry?” he asked, growing more worried as he looked around and couldn’t find the boy anywhere.

He should be here.

“Severus, you need to remain calm, okay,” Poppy said as she sat next to him, giving him a pain relief potion which he downed with a sigh of relief, barely noticing the slightly different taste to the usual one he would take.

“I can’t remain calm, Poppy, you know that. Where is he? Is he okay?”

“Sev, I know how much you struggle, I really do, but please, calm down, and I will explain,” she was giving him the look she always gave him when he worried and she tried to calm him enough to listen to her, except it was more urgent than usual.

“Where is he?” he asked again after taking some shaky deep breaths.

“Severus, the potion de-aged him,”

“I rather gathered that since he was shrinking in my arms,” he snapped, though he immediately regretted it.

“It de-aged him to a foetus,”

Severus’ heart broke at the words. He was dead. Harry was dead. He couldn’t save him. He couldn’t save his best friend’s son.

“Severus, no. Stop whatever it is you are thinking, right now,” Poppy said as she saw Severus begin to shake as tears filled his dark eyes.

“He’s dead,” he whispered.

“No, he’s not dead,” Severus stared at the woman in shock.

“But how can he not be dead?”

“Severus, you and your magic absorbed him. Harry Potter is currently residing in your womb. You are eight weeks pregnant. And your magic… well, your magic changed him,”

Severus was in shock, even as his hand made its way to his flat stomach. That would be why the potion had tasted different. It was one he made for pregnant students.

“Changed him, how?” he asked when his mind caught up with what she said, worry in his voice.

She smiled at him slightly, “Your magic changed his DNA, Severus, and his magic. You are now his biological and magical mother. He is your son,”

“B-but… Lily?” his heart hurt, her baby was now his. He never… he never would have wanted to take her child from her.

“I don’t think she would have minded, Severus,” she said with a sad smile on her face, “I am sure she would much rather Harry be loved, and have a mother, than continue with the life he has been living up until this point. And… he would have died had your magic not reacted as it did. I am sure Lily would much prefer him alive, well, and even happy for once, than with her and James,”

Severus nodded, though it still hurt. Despite the hurt though he couldn’t help but feel awe-struck, and a deep happiness as his thumb stroked his stomach.

He was going to have a baby.

Harry was his baby.

He was going to be a mother.

Then he thought of the implications.

A shudder of worry went down his spine as he thought of how Albus would react. Severus wouldn’t be able to spy anymore. He was sure that his class had probably seen what happened, and either inferred where Harry was, or would guess when he came out as pregnant. Then it would spread like wildfire.

But… if he couldn’t spy anymore then that meant he would be safe. Or safer at any rate. He wouldn’t have to worry about the cruciatus every meeting once the Dark Lord finally returned. Yes, there were the other Death Eaters still lurking in the country, but he could just stay in Hogwarts, or disguise himself when he went out. Not that he went out often.

He could… he could be himself. He could stop pretending to hate the students. He wouldn’t need to. He could help them. He could get them to think for themselves instead of blindly following their families and peers. He could protect them better, openly.

“Is he okay?” Severus asked, concern covering his features even as Poppy smiled at him.

“Yes, he is okay. He was a tad stressed for a while but he has calmed by now. You will need to be careful, of course. You know how delicate male pregnancies can be. And I will be checking on you both every week, just to be sure, but everything should be fine. There are no major risks in the pregnancy so far, though I will be prescribing you some pre-natal potions. And if you feel any cramps, start to bleed, or your canal starts opening early I expect you to get me straight away,” Severus nodded, “Just please, for all of our sakes, try and remain as stress free as possible,”

Severus snorted, “I don’t think it's likely to be calm for a while yet, Poppy. But I will try. I can’t…” he couldn’t finish but he could see understanding in her eyes.

He had wanted a family for so long, but had pushed his hopes away for the sake of spying. It was just too dangerous. It still was, but he had hope now that maybe, just maybe, he might be able to get through it.

“So long as you are feeling okay you are free to go. I will come to your quarters for our check ups because I know you like privacy. I will let you know when closer to the time,” Poppy said.

“Thank you,” he said as he stood up, donning his robe briskly and stalking towards the floo.

He floo’d straight to his quarters, not wanting to talk to Albus yet. He knew he should, but he wanted some time alone to think and take in what was happening.

He was going to be a mum.

Something he had always wanted was finally coming true.

He was terrified.

But he was also elated.

He didn’t think he had ever felt that free before.

He could be himself, his true self.

Then Lily slipped into his mind and he felt pain at the thought of accidentally taking her child away from her.

“I’m sorry, Lily,” he whispered to no one, and yet he felt a comforting breeze on his shoulder and a wave of love, and care, and forgiveness.

He took in a shuddering breath as the comforting air disappeared.

His hand hadn’t left his stomach since he found out he was pregnant, he looked down at it, awe in his eyes as he felt the budding ball of magic within him.

“Hello,” came a small voice in his head.

A small voice that sounded like a very scared Harry Potter.

“Where am I?” the voice trembled.

“Harry,” Severus said in his mind, trying to calm his son.

“Professor Snape, is that you?” Harry asked, sounding both terrified and calm.

“Yes, Harry. It is me,”

“Where am I? What happened? Why is it so dark?”

“You… someone threw something that landed in your cauldron, and it exploded all over you. You were de-aged,”

“How old am I now then?”

“You… You are currently an eight week old foetus,”

“Foetus? Like a baby?”

“An unborn baby, yes,”

“If I am an unborn baby, where am I? How can I speak to you?”

“You are in me, Harry,” Severus said gently, rubbing his stomach.

“But… you are a man. Men don’t get pregnant,”

Severus couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips, “Some wizards are bearers. It means they have a womb and are able to carry and birth children. I am a bearer. When I was trying to save you my magic decided to absorb you into my womb, and…”

“And what?”

“My magic also changed your DNA and magic. You are now my biological and magical son. I am now your mother,” Severus had to admit to himself that he was scared about how the boy would react.

“You are my mum now?” Harry sounded awed at the revelation, which caused a smile to lighten his face.

“Yes,”

“I have a mum,”

“And I have a son,”

“Do you want me?”

Severus’ heart hurt at the pain in the whispered question.

“More than anything else in the world,”

“And I won’t have to go back to Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and Dudley?”

Severus’ heart stopped and his mind whirled.

Petunia.

He had been left with Petunia? But Albus told him… No. Albus lied to him. What happened to his grandparents if he was with Petunia of all people?

“He left you with Petunia?”

“Yeah,”

“No, you won’t ever have to go there again. I promise. You will be with me. Always,”

The little ball of magic seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and Severus felt sadness tug at him as he imagined what Petunia and her brute of a husband could possibly have done to the boy. But he wouldn’t get his son to speak of it at that time. No. He needed to confront Albus first. And Poppy for that matter. Surely she would have picked something up the various times Harry had been in the hospital wing.

He decided he was too tired to do anything that night so he went to the bathroom to ready himself for bed.

He got into bed, curling into a ball around his stomach, his hand resting on it protectively, a small smile on his face even despite his revelation about Petunia.

“Goodnight, Harry,” he whispered to his belly.

“Goodnight, mum,” Severus felt both pain and happiness at the heard words, but he was asleep before he could think about it any further.

Severus woke feeling both nauseous and happy when he remembered why he might be nauseous. His hand hadn’t left his stomach all night, and he was still curled around it. He sat up though, his thumb running along it gently as he summoned a pregnancy safe anti-nausea potion and swallowed it down, sighing in relief when the sickness cleared.

He looked at his flat stomach in awe.

He was pregnant.

He was going to be a mother.

Merlin, was that something he had longed for since he was sixteen and he found out he was a bearer.

For someone to love him unconditionally.

For a family.

For a child.

Why was he so foolish as to do something to push this hope away?

But alas, here he was. With the one thing he had wished for most in his life.

A child.

He was the happiest he had ever felt.

And yet, he was terrified.

Terrified that he would be a terrible parent.

He didn’t exactly have shining examples himself.

But he would do his best to not be like them.

He wouldn’t hit Harry.

He wouldn’t.

Harry.

His son.

Harry Potter was his son.

His baby.

Harry Potter was his son.

Potter.

James Potter was still his father.

His heart ached.

“Mum, are you okay?” Harry’s little voice said, concerned.

His heart fluttered at the words.

It didn’t matter.

James Potter didn’t matter.

No matter how much pain Potter had caused Severus in his school years, it didn’t matter, because the only thing that mattered was Harry.

His son.

His son was the only being that mattered.

His son.

He loved his son.

And he always would.

No matter what.

“Yes, Harry, I am fine. How are you?” he couldn’t deny that he was nervous.

“I’m great! I don’t have to go back to the Dursleys again. I have a mum now. A parent. I… are you okay with this? Are you okay with me calling you mum? Do you want me to call you something else? I… how can we talk to each other? Can all magical babies talk to their mothers when they are inside the womb?” Harry sounded excited, nervous, scared, and curious throughout his speech.

“I am okay with this,” and he really was, “I am more than okay with you calling me mum. You can call me whatever you want to call me, though. I don’t know how we can talk to each other, but I will do some research to try and figure it out for you, and me. I don’t believe it is something that all magical babies can do with their mothers, but again, I will be researching it all for us,”

“Okay, good. Erm… this might be a bit weird, and intrusive, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, and you can tell me to shut up or whatever, I don’t mind,” though to Severus thought it sounded like he did mind, he just was too used to it to not expect it, “Erm… do you have a partner? Do you have other children? It’s just that I don’t want to intrude on your family if you already have one and if they aren’t okay with you keeping me then that is alright, too-”

“Harry, I don’t have a partner, and I don’t have other children,” he had to cut Harry off, he couldn’t let him think those things, that he would get rid of him just because he might have had a family already and didn’t need him in his life also, “And even if I did already have a family before this, it wouldn’t make you even less important to me. I would still have wanted you, and I would still have kept you, even if they wouldn’t have wanted it. You aren’t less important than anyone else. Even if you have been raised to believe that you are. You are my child. No matter how you came to be mine, you are mine. And I just couldn’t carry a child for any period of time and not want them. I couldn’t carry a child and just get rid of them. It isn’t in me to do that. I have wanted this for too long to want to do that. I just haven’t been given the opportunity before now,”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that much, but he needed Harry to understand that he was important. That he mattered. That he wouldn’t be gotten rid of just because of what anyone else might say. That he isn’t something that could be discarded like that. At least, not to Severus.

He could practically feel the relief pulsing from the little ball of magic in his belly.

He felt the wards on his floo announce someone and stiffened slightly, “Severus, I expect you in my office in half an hour,” Albus called, he sounded… well, not pleased.

Severus took a shaky breath as Albus left the floo and stood from the bed to ready himself for the long day ahead.

Part of him just wanted to stay there and hide from the world, and those who would dare to hurt his child, or him and therefore his child.

He floo’d to Albus’ office and as soon as he saw the man his magic felt threatened, used, unsafe. He also felt anger at the man for lying to him and he couldn’t help but snap, “You left him with Petunia!”

Albus looked caught off guard.

“Severus, my boy, you knew I left him with his last living relatives,”

“No, you told me, very specifically, I might add, that you left him with Lily’s parents. Therefore, when you also told me he was spoiled, I believed you because they adored the ground he walked on. You know what Petunia is like, what she was like as a child, and yet you thought placing Harry with her was a good idea? Why? What happened to Lily’s parents?” Severus tried to remain calm, but it was hard the more his magic told him he wasn’t safe and the more he looked at the man who dared to leave Harry with someone he knew would not be in the least bit suitable to raise a magical child.

“Severus, I don’t see how young Harry’s placement concerns you,” Albus said, his eyes clouding with a hint of anger.

“Oh, I don’t know, perhaps because you made me take a vow to protect him, which is something I would have done without the vow by the way, but then you lied to me. Perhaps because you knew that the vow and my knowledge of Petunia and her hatred of all things magical would have forced me to remove him, to protect him from her and her brute of a husband,”

“If I recall correctly, the vow only required you to protect him from the Dark Lord and Death Eaters,” Dumbledore said, though Severus thought it was just a trick or something because that was certainly not the vow he made.

“No. The vow I took requires me to protect him from anything and anyone who could and would hurt him,”

“And I fail to see how Petunia and her husband would be people who could or would hurt him,” Dumbledore beamed.

“How many times does an abused child have to come to you for help before you realise that family can in fact hurt family? Not that you help any of them, of course. You send them right back home to continue being hurt. At least until I help them. I don’t know how you manipulated me into missing the signs of abuse on Harry but I can see it clearly now. Why did you leave him there? And why did you keep sending him back home? And how did Poppy miss it whenever he was in the hospital wing?”

“I don’t see why you care, Severus. You hate him,”

“I don’t hate him. I never have hated him. Just like I don’t hate any of the children in this school. I can’t hate them. I protect them all because I fucking care about them. Unlike everyone else in this fucking school apparently. And yet I can’t fucking show that I care because you rub me being a spy in my face every fucking day. I’m done. I’m done being a spy. I’m done not showing the children of this school that someone gives a shit. And I am done letting you manipulate me into things I don’t want to do. Why did you leave him there?”

He really was trying to remain calm, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help his need to protect these children. Someone had to. Dumbledore certainly didn’t. And though some of the other teachers tried, in some circumstances, they still turned a blind eye to bullying, abuse, and everything else.

He didn’t feel safe.

“Harry has a task to do, just like you, Severus. You need to spy. And he needs to defeat Voldemort. He needs to do what he is meant to do, Severus. What he is prophesied to do,”

“And he needs to be abused to do that does he?”

He could feel pain emitting from the ball in his stomach and he knew that Harry was hearing every word. He was sorry to cause his son so much pain. To have to take this person away from him.

“It’s not your fault, mum,”

His heart twanged.

“This is not what I called you up here to discuss, Severus,”

“Oh, I’m sure it isn’t. But it is something that needs discussing anyway,”

“I think not. Now, what happened in your potions class yesterday?”

Severus glared at the older man who just glared right back at him.

He didn’t feel safe.

He tried to remain calm. To take some calming breaths, but he felt less and less safe the longer he spent in the room.

“What do you know already?”

“I know there was an accident involving Harry and the de-aging potion, and that he has since gone missing, and that you were in the hospital wing for a large part of yesterday afternoon. But I would like to know exactly what happened, from you, and where Harry is,”

“I doubt it was an accident first of all, I told the class not to throw anything into anyone’s cauldron before they started brewing because of the consequences, and someone threw something into his cauldron anyway. I will find out who, and I will punish them accordingly,” Severus said fiercely, and he would punish them. As much as he is not angry with what the end result was, he was angry it happened in the first place, it could have been worse, and probably would have been had he not been a bearer.

“The potion exploded and Harry was quick enough to push Longbottom out of the way, but he wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way himself. It landed on him and he started de-aging rapidly. He was clearly in pain. I tried to stop it, to clear the potion out of his system, and off his skin. But nothing I did stopped it. He de-aged to a foetus,” he left it hanging, embracing the pain and anger in the older man’s eyes for a minute.

“He’s dead,” Dumbledore breathed, looking like everything was about to collapse around him.

And Severus supposed that it was, and will continue to with the rest of the information. He wouldn’t have the weapon he had been grooming for the last twelve years. All would be lost. He would have to fight the Dark Lord himself instead of getting children to do it for him.

“No,” Severus said.

Albus breathed a sigh of relief, “Where is he then? Did you re-age him?” he almost pleaded.

“I didn’t re-age him. My magic and body absorbed him. He is now an eight week foetus, in my womb,”

He relished the shock on the old man’s face.

“You… You’re a bearer?”

“I am pretty sure you already knew that,” Severus scowled at the man.

“Right. I just thought it was a rumour,” he said, passing it off as if it was nothing.

“A rumour, from the school’s medi-witch?” Severus said, his eyebrow raised.

“Right… well, I hope you know that you will have to continue with the pregnancy. We need Harry. Then when he is born we will have to send him to his aunt’s,” he was cut off by a surge of angry, powerful magic coming from Severus and he looked at the younger man in shock, “Severus,”

“No. He will not be going back to Petunia. Ever,”

“The blood wards,”

“Are useless,”

“They protect him,”

“So long as he is related to the person they are bound to, and he is loved by that person, neither of which he is,”

“Lily,”

“Is no longer his mother,”

“Just because you are now carrying her child, it does not make you his mother,”

“No, but my magic changing his DNA and magic so that I am now his biological mother, does in fact make me his mother,”

The shock on Dumbledore’s face made Severus feel rather smug, although the hint of anger in his eyes made him feel even less safe.

“You are his mother?”

“Yes,”

“The prophecy,”

“Doesn’t matter,”

“Severus,”

“I’m not letting you use my son in your war. It is an adult’s fight, not one for children. I couldn’t do anything to stop you before now, but I can now,”

“Severus, think about this,”

“I am. I am done being your spy. I am done being horrible to the children. I am done caring about them, protecting them, and not being able to show it. I am done letting you use children in your games. I am done letting you send children back to their abusers. I am done letting you allow bullies to not be punished. I am done with your game of chess. You can’t use Harry anymore. You can’t use me anymore. You may not care about anything other than your plan, your ‘greater good’, but the people you use, the people you hurt, they have feelings, they have brains, they have thoughts, they have dreams. You can’t just keep using people, especially if those people are children,”

“Severus, we need Harry to fight,”

“Harry will be a baby!”

“We can re-age him,”

“Despite your infinite wisdom,” he couldn’t stop the sarcasm from leaking into his voice, “you know nothing about potions. He will be a baby, then he will be a toddler, then he will be a child, then he will be a teenager, at the same rate that all children age,”

Dumbledore looked like the whole world had been pulled out from under him and Severus relished in it.

“Surely there is something you can do,”

“Unless you want a teenager who has the brain of a baby, then no,”

“Might be easier to mould,” he caught Dumbledore’s mutter to himself and his anger burst out again.

“Oh yes, because grooming him and every other child in this school to do what you want them to do is so very important to you. However, even if you were able to somehow manipulate his mind in such a way, he still wouldn’t be able to do the basic things that any teenager can do for themselves. So no, he will remain a baby, and grow up like he was meant to, except he will be with me this time,”

“Severus, is this really the best course for things? You don’t even have a father figure for him. Who will be his guiding influence? Who will protect him? Who will teach him what he needs to know? I mean, you aren’t even a proper bearer, you were in love with Lily,”

“I was never in love with Lily, she was like a sister to me,” the surprise on his face was laughable really, “I’m gay. Don’t worry, old man, I am a full on bearer. Otherwise as soon as I absorbed him into me, he probably would have died. And who is to say I can’t do all those things myself? Also, since I am no longer your bloody spy, maybe I will feel safe enough to put myself out there,” he doubted it mostly but he never knew what would happen. He wasn’t a seer.

He didn’t feel safe.

“Severus, we need Harry,”

“No, you don’t. You need to be the Headmaster of this school, you need to look after the children, protect them. But instead you do everything you can to drag them into a war which they shouldn’t be involved in. They don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve the pain you cause them. Your duty to the students of this school should be much more important than this bloody game you are playing with them. It needs to stop. You need to stop,”

“Severus,”

“No. I am done with this meeting. You are not using my baby. You are not using the children anymore. You are not using me. You know what power a mother’s love has now, maybe that will stop you from doing whatever it is you will surely plan,” he said, then he left, storming out of the room, down the stairs, and towards the dungeons.

He needed to get away, but he needed time to breathe.

“Mum, are you okay?” Harry asked, despite his obvious pain.

“I’ll be fine, Harry. How are you?”

“He was just using me?”

“He uses everyone. But yes, he needed his weapon,”

“Why?”

“Because he always drags people into his own wars, to get them to fight for him. He doesn’t want to do it himself until he has no choice but to, then he saves the day and is famous again. But I won’t let him use you this time. There wasn’t anything I could really do before, apart from protect you as much as possible, but I can protect you more now. You are mine, and I won’t let you be hurt by him anymore. Or anyone else,”

“Thank you,”

The amount of love he felt pouring from Harry in that moment shocked him so much that he had to stop walking and stare at his stomach in awe. He was glad no one else was around to see his moment of weakness.

That was until he felt someone stop nervously in front of him anyway and he looked up to see Neville Longbottom standing there, looking at him with red eyes and scared eyes that tore through his heart whenever he saw it.

“S-sir. You are out of the hospital wing? Are you okay?” Neville mumbled.

“I am fine, Mr Longbottom. Thank you for asking,” Neville looked shocked at his gentle answer. But Severus had to start somewhere when it came to becoming his true self, and not what he had had to pretend to be, “How are you?”

“I… Harry… he was my best friend, my only friend, and I don’t know where he is, I… Is he dead?”

“No, he’s not dead Mr Longbottom. Would you like to come with me to my office and we can discuss what happened, and where Harry is?”

Neville looked at him with confusion at the gentleness of his words, but the boy nodded and followed him to his office where he set some strong wards and led the boy to the small sofa he had against the right wall of the room, sitting next to him and summoning a house elf to get them both a hot chocolate and some biscuits. Neville looked more confused but didn’t say anything, if anything he looked a tad… like he felt safe despite their past.

“Harry isn’t dead, Neville, I need to assure you of that first,” Neville looked shocked again at the mention of his first name, then the confusion came.

“Then where is he? He just disappeared then you were unconscious. And you were both in pain,”

Severus smiled at him slightly, “He… he was de-aged to a foetus,”

Neville gasped, “A foetus… but, how is he not dead?”

“I’m a bearer. My magic and body absorbed him into my womb. He is currently eight weeks along. My magic also changed his DNA and magic so that he is my son biologically and magically,”

Neville’s jaw dropped, and Severus noticed a hint of pain, happiness, and confusion in his eyes that he didn’t get many good feelings from.

“Are… are you okay with that, sir? It is just that…” he trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish what he was saying.

“What do you know about bearers, Mr Longbottom?” Severus asked gently.

“Not much, really, sir. My uncle doesn’t really like them much so he just belittles them, he thinks they are unnatural, and my nan doesn’t talk of them either,”

“Hm, there are some that are of the opinion that they are unnatural, yes. Not many though, thankfully. But it is still best to keep it mostly secret in case people think to use them for their abilities, especially since the children born from them tend to be more powerful than most. But not all children born from them are more powerful than the average witch or wizard, I must say,

“A bearer is a wizard who is born with a womb, birth canals also form at the beginning of the eighth month of a pregnancy, ready for birth, then when the baby is born it will close. The children are formed from magic and semen during anal sex. You have to be rather powerful yourself to be a bearer, but not all powerful wizards are bearers, there are a number of factors, but Lady Magic tends to be the one deciding who is or isn’t one. But the main thing that determines it is whether or not Lady Magic deems you good enough to be a magical mother. You can’t hate children. You care for them, protect them, look after them. I have never once hated a student in this school since I started teaching, I can’t. My magic, my mind, it won’t allow me to do so, not that I even want to try,”

“Then why..?”

“I have had to pretend that I hate you all because I am, or was, a spy. I spied on the Dark Lord for Professor Dumbledore during the war, and I have been spying on the Death Eaters who escaped Azkaban since. As a result, I was cruel to the students so that when the Dark Lord returns his followers won’t snitch on me and I could resume my place in his ranks to spy some more. Believe me, it pains me more than anything that I wasn’t able to overtly protect you all, that I had to say and do the things I did. But I had to, so that I could protect you more when the time came,

“And Professor Dumbledore forced me to. I tried to make him put it in my teaching contract that I had to be fair to the students, that I had to be kind to them. But he said the Dark Lord wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t care, and would kill me for it should he catch wind of things. And his need for a spy was more important than looking after the students,”

“Are… are you still going to spy?”

“No. I can’t. I mean, spying with Harry Potter as my son is going to make things rather difficult. And I don’t want to. I didn’t want to even then, but I was… forced. No. I am going to be myself now. I am going to protect you students, and show that I care besides helping the abused students to get out of their situations behind the Headmaster’s back. The ones I can anyway,”

There was another flash of pain in Neville’s eyes that worried Severus. He really needed to look into this boy.

“Are you going to keep Harry and raise him?”

“Yes. He is my son now, I can protect him better. And I want to,”

“Good. That’s good. He deserves a family, a proper one. One who loves him,” Neville was looking down at his lap and Severus saw a tear that fell from the tip of his nose.

“You deserve it, too, Neville,”

Neville looked up at him, eyes wide with fear and it clenched something in Severus’ heart. He had thought a few times that maybe Neville had a hard home life but he couldn’t look at him. As the other child the prophecy could have been about Dumbledore kept a lot about him shut away and halted any thoughts or concerns Severus may have had.

What if Dumbledore moved onto Neville now that Harry was out of the picture?

That thought stilled Severus’ heart for more than a moment.

He felt a deep need to protect the boy in front of him from the man who would dare to turn him into weapon number two.

And from his family.

“Neville, I need you to be honest with me, okay?” Neville nodded, though the fear never left his eyes, “I know, from experience, that this is incredibly hard to talk about. Believe me, I do. But I need to know, okay? Neville, is anyone in your family abusing you? In any way. Physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually?” he dreaded the answer.

“Yes, he is, mum. He is. We bonded over it. That is how we became friends,”

“I…” Neville said, and Severus hated the pain, confusion, fear and worry in his eyes.

“I can’t do anything to help you unless you tell me the truth, Neville. I am sorry. I know it hurts. I really do. But I can help you, and I will help you, if you tell me just a yes or a no,”

“Yes,”

“Yes,” Neville breathed out, his voice shaky, lips trembling.

Severus took a deep breath to steel himself for the rest of the conversation, but he was glad that Neville chose to open up to him, despite everything.

“Thank you, Neville. I understand that this is difficult for you, but you will need to talk about it. That is the only way I can help you,”

Neville just nodded, looking at his knees in a look of shame that tore at Severus’ heart.

“What’s going to happen now?” Neville asked shakily.

“I have to admit that you are a bit more of a difficult case than others I have worked with,” he saw a look of panic in Neville’s eyes and rushed to reassure him, “That doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t help you, Neville. We just have to be quick, and delicate about it before certain people find out, and because your grandmother has a strong reputation behind her,”

Neville cringed and Severus rested a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him.

“It’s okay, Neville. I will get you out of there, no matter what it takes,”

“T-thank you, sir,”

“First things first, we need to set up a meeting with the goblins and an Auror friend of mine. They are the ones who help me with abused students, and they will be able to be discreet about it, until, or unless, you are ready for things to be made public,”

“Okay, when can we do that?”

“I will see if I can get one set up for tomorrow morning, as it is a Sunday, and I will write you a letter when I know the time. The sooner, the better. You won’t have to talk about any of it with me now, but when we meet with them, they will need details. The more that you are able to give us, the better. I am just letting you know so you can prepare yourself for it,” Severus said, and Neville gave a shaky nod.

“Thank you, sir,”

“When we are away from all the other students and professors, you may call me Severus, Neville,” he doesn’t know why he said that, it was just an instinct, but it felt… good.

Neville smiled shyly, “Thank you, Severus. And thanks for the hot chocolate and biscuits… And for wanting Harry,”

The way that Neville looked at Severus’ flat stomach in awe, and love, and amazement made Severus’ lips tug up at the sides.

“Can I… Can I be part of Harry’s life once he’s born? I don’t mean to intrude or anything… but he is my best friend, and…” he trailed off nervously and looked at his knees again.

“I happen to think that a big brother figure around to teach, love, and protect him would be good for Harry. And I think I will be needing some help, also, someone trustworthy to babysit and such. You are the right person for the job, I believe. So yes, you may be part of Harry’s life when he is born, and for the rest of his life after that,” Severus said, smiling when Neville beamed at him brightly, the last of his nervousness fading.

“Awesome. Thanks, Severus,”

“No worries, Neville. I do believe, though, it is almost lunch time and your fellow Gryffindors will be heading to the Hall. I will send you a letter later with a date and time for our meeting in a few hours or so,”

“Okay. Thanks again, for everything. Erm, even if you can’t get me away from there, thank you for wanting to try anyway,”

“I will get you away from there, no matter what,” he said sternly, though the small smile on his lips took away from it somewhat, “Nevertheless, though, you deserve a good home, Neville. Every child does, and you are not an exception to that. You don’t deserve pain, of any kind, from anyone. And I will do whatever I can to protect you, and every child in this school from anything that dares to try and harm you,”

“Just… Just try not to get harmed in the process, Severus. Harry needs his mum,” Neville said gently, smiling at Severus as he stood from the sofa and shouldered his bag.

“I’ll try my very best to not get hurt in the process. I promise,” Severus said, reassuring both his son, and his son’s friend with that statement.

“Good. I’ll see you later, Severus,”

“Indeed, Neville,”

Neville left and Severus took a shaky breath as he leaned further back into the cushions, his hand going to his stomach and stroking gently.

“Thank you for helping him, mum. He deserves somewhere safe, where he is loved,” Harry said.

“I know. And he will have it, I promise,”

He stood up and walked through the door connecting his office to his private quarters, grateful that he didn’t have any duties that day until after dinner. He went over to the bookshelf directly beside the sofa and pulled out the book, which wasn’t a book, that he dreaded having to pick up each and every time he had to do so.

He sat on the sofa, his legs crossed under him, and he opened the book to the secret compartment which held two two-way mirrors which he specially adapted for his needs. He tapped them both with his wand, and he waited.

Kingsley was the first to appear in the one designated for him.

“Sev, you are positively glowing,” Kingsley greeted, a grim smile on his face as he saw the potions’ master, and for some reason his cheeks blushed a little, not much, but enough for Kingsley to grin somewhat childishly.

He didn’t quite know how he and Kingsley became friends, but they had, sometime during the war. After countless Order meetings, and meetings between the two to discuss Death Eaters, plans, and more, it was hard not to become friends with the man who was both intelligent, and fun.

“Can’t you be serious for once, Kingsley?” Severus said, trying to sound annoyed.

“I am always serious, just in a fun way,” Kingsley chuckled, “In any case, you are glowing. It suits you, whatever it is. But this isn’t the time for personal talks, I gather,”

“It certainly is not the time for a personal talk,” Severus grumbled.

King Ragnok appeared in his mirror and Severus sighed thankfully.

“Severus, I take it another child is in need of assistance,” Ragnok said.

How Severus became a friend to the goblin nation he wasn’t entirely sure. He just remembered their names, treated them with respect, and helped make a few potions they struggled with. Ragnok would never tell him what he did to earn their respect, but he wasn’t going to complain. He helped them and they helped him. Together they helped children find the homes they deserved.

“Indeed,” Severus said.

“Who is it this time?” Kingsley asked, concerned.

“Neville Longbottom,”

“Are you sure?” Kingsley sounded shocked, but also not, “I mean, I know Augusta is strict, and has said some… things. But I didn’t think…”

“I don’t think anyone thought anything other than she was grieving what she lost. I don’t know the full extent of it. But he is being hurt in some way, and we need to see what we can do to help him. We need to be quick and discreet about this also. A lot of other things have come up and he is in danger from more than just his family,”

Ragnok growled, “Who else is he in danger from?”

“Dumbledore,”

“Why is he in danger from Dumbledore?” Kingsley asked, shocked.

Severus rolled his eyes, “Besides the fact that Dumbledore is trying to get children involved in things they shouldn’t be involved in, like war. Dumbledore can no longer use Harry Potter as his weapon against the Dark Lord. As a result, I fear that he may turn to Neville and try to make him into his weapon instead. And given what he has done to Harry to try and achieve that, I can’t imagine what he is going to do to Neville to make him a weapon in a drastically shorter amount of time,”

“I have a feeling there is a lot we need to be caught up on,” Ragnok said roughly.

“Indeed there is. It would, however, be easier to talk about it in person. Are you both free at any point today to do so? And are you free tomorrow for a meeting with Neville?”

“Well, it is my weekend off, and I have no other plans. I can be at Gringotts in about thirty minutes if that works for you both? And yeah, I am free tomorrow also,” Kingsley said, his voice rich and silky.

“I can meet in 30 minutes, my office. And I can meet at 8 tomorrow morning if that works for you both?” Ragnok said.

Kingsley and Severus both agreed and Severus ended the call.

He sat there for about five minutes, just thinking about, well, everything really. Part of him didn’t want to tell his friends about Harry yet. He wanted time for it to truly sink in first, but also just time to cherish him on his own.

He was going to be a mum.

But he knew that he needed to not only help Neville, but he had to help his son too. He needed to make sure that his baby wouldn’t, couldn’t be sent back to Petunia, ever. No matter what. He knew Albus would try something, anything he could think up to get his weapon back. And he needed to protect his baby, from everything and everyone who would dare try to harm him. His friends could help him with that. He was sure of it. And the sooner they got started, the better.

He sighed and stood, making his way to the bathroom to empty his bladder. Something he knew he would need to do a lot more often now that he was pregnant. Not that he minded. He would do anything for his baby, happily.

When he went back to the living room, he found a worried looking house elf and a trunk in the centre of the room.

“Master Snape's, sir, this be Harry Potter’s trunk and Missy be’s bringing it to you cause Master Weasleys be trying to steal things,”

“Thank you, Missy. Which Mr Weasley tried to steal from it?” Severus asked, annoyed that someone would dare to try and steal from his son.

“The youngest one, sirs,”

He felt a flash of pain from the ball of magic in his stomach and his annoyance turned to a brief anger at the boy who tried to steal.

“Thank you for saving my son’s belongings. You can leave it in my room for now and I will sort it all out later,” Severus said.

Missy nodded and popped away with the trunk. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

“Mum, why would he try and steal from me?” Harry asked nervously.

“I don’t know, Harry. But I can assume that the Headmaster has told, probably everyone, about what happened in potions class, and where you are. It is lunch time after all, and he has been known to make announcements at lunch time on occasion,”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“That would depend on how everyone reacted to the news. Most of the students, I can imagine, won’t be reacting well. Those who know about bearers are probably wondering why I am the way I am. And since I wasn’t there to do damage control there may be a number of issues. And it does mean that I will have to do damage control throughout the week. Not that it makes much of a difference, I was going to start being myself now,”

Severus sighed again and went to his floo, he needed to get out of the castle as soon as possible. If Albus had actually told everyone then he wouldn’t be surprised if he started getting knocks on his door, from teachers and students alike.

He walked down Diagon Alley, embracing how peaceful it was during term time. He took his time, seeing as he had about twenty minutes before their meeting, but he was surprised when he arrived outside the bank ten minutes before the meeting and found Kingsley there already waiting for him. His friend smiled at him when he saw him. Severus still didn’t know how he and Kingsley became friends. But he wasn’t complaining as the strongly built man held the door to the bank open for him.

“You’re here early,” Kingsley said, his tone light but still silky.

“I could say the same for you since you were waiting for me,” Severus said, “In any case, though, I needed to escape the castle before I was potentially hounded by everyone,”

“Why? Are you okay?” Kingsley sounded genuinely concerned about him and it shocked Severus to his core that someone could care enough about him to ask how he was.

“I am fine. But you will find out why during the meeting. And I don’t know if Albus has told the school yet, I just have a suspicion,” a very large suspicion, but a suspicion nonetheless. Why else would the Weasley boy think he could get away with stealing from his friend’s trunk? Surely the only possible reason would be for him to believe, or know, that Harry no longer has a need for it.

They arrived at the door to Ragnok’s office, the goblins having let them through the bank on their own as always. The perks of being friends with the goblin nation.

Severus knocked and they were bade entry. It was just Ragnok in the room and they sat in the chairs opposite the goblin king’s desk. Severus tried to ignore the way Ragnok grinned at him the whole time, a spark of knowing in his eyes.

“Congratulations, Severus,” Ragnok said as soon as Severus was situated in his chair.

Severus blushed slightly, he couldn’t help it really, and the goblin smirked as Kingsley looked at Severus in confusement.

“What’s going on, Sev?” Kingsley asked.

“I’m pregnant,” Severus said, he was going to take the time to explain, but he delighted, instead, in the look of complete shock mixed with a hint of awe that alighted Kingsley’s face.

“Oh, erm, I didn’t realise you were seeing anyone. Congratulations!” Kingsley said, smiling slightly, though Severus thought there was something else, though he didn’t know what, behind it.

Severus snickered, “I’m not seeing anyone, but thank you for your congratulations anyway,”

Kingsley’s eyes widened even more, “Then how are you pregnant? Wait, you’re a bearer? And you didn’t tell me? That’s amazing, Sev, you know I wouldn’t have done anything to you because of it, right? I’m your friend. I wouldn’t hurt you,”

Severus gave him a small smile, “I know you wouldn’t have done anything to me, Kingsley. But I also wanted to try not to think about it too much given my position,”

Understanding filled Kingsley’s eyes, “Right, yeah, that makes sense,”

“And in answer to your question of how I became pregnant,” Severus sighed, crossing his legs and trying to get comfortable, “Yesterday, in my third year potions class, we were making a de-aging potion. Despite my warning at the beginning of the class, an idiot of a student threw an unknown ingredient into the potion which belonged to Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom,

“Harry managed to push Neville out of the way when the potion exploded, but wasn’t able to get out of the way himself and was hit with the potion. He was de-aged, and I tried everything I could to stop it. But it didn’t work. At least, not to the point where Harry is currently a walking, talking student like he was yesterday morning. Harry Potter is currently an eight week old foetus, in my womb. My magic and body absorbed him into my womb, and my magic has also changed his magic and DNA. I am now Harry’s biological, magical and physical mother,”

Kingsley looked more shocked and awed than before, and Ragnok also looked somewhat shocked.

“You’re pregnant with Harry Potter?” Kingsley asked for clarification.

“Yes. That is why I needed to escape a bit earlier. I believe Albus has told the school, but I am not completely sure. He wasn’t happy in the slightest when I filled him in on what happened. Nor when I told him that Harry wouldn’t be his weapon anymore now that I have the ability to stop him. It also didn’t help that I started the meeting by going off on him for leaving Harry with abusive muggles,” Severus growled the last bit.

“Harry was abused?”

“Indeed. And we will be punishing the Dursleys for what they did to him also. But Neville will be the main focus for now. I don’t want Albus to turn him into a weapon. And he may just do that if whatever he plans fails, which it will. Neville is the second child of the prophecy after all,”

“Right, yeah, we have to get Neville away from his abusers and with someone who won’t let Albus use him as a weapon. Are you sure Neville is abused?”

“Yes. The signs are all there, and he has admitted to being abused in some way. He hasn’t gone into detail but that is what tomorrow is for, and he is aware he will need to share details also,”

“Good,” Kingsley nodded.

“I also need to confront Poppy,” Severus said.

“Why?”

“Well, because usually an abused child will do whatever they can to avoid the hospital wing. So Poppy doesn’t have any or much evidence towards abuse for the cases we have covered so far. However, Harry is in the hospital wing fairly frequently, at least a couple of times a year, always for something major, which would require a slightly more in depth scan than the one she usually uses. As a result, Poppy should have some sign that Harry has been abused by his relatives. And yet, she has done nothing to help him as far as I am aware. I need to find out why, and if any other children have been affected because of something similar,”

Ragnok tutted, “And here I was thinking that children were meant to be precious. The staff of that school have gone a lot downhill since I took over as king. Severus, don’t go stressing yourself out too much, or putting yourself in danger, for the sake of yourself. And for us. We don’t want to see you hurt,”

Kingsley nodded at the words, looking at Severus sternly, but also with deep emotions in his eyes that Severus couldn’t quite pinpoint. The care in Ragnok’s eyes also threw Severus, although he knew his friends cared about him, he hadn’t thought they had cared this much.

It was weird.

But it was good at the same time.

“I’ll be careful, I promise,” Severus said sincerely.

“Good. What are you going to do about your position?” Kingsley said.

“I’m no longer a spy. I don’t care what Albus says or does, I’m not going back to it. And I am going to show the students that I care, and protect them, more than I have been able to before. I’m going to be myself,”

“Good,” Kingsley smiled.

They spent another hour going over things regarding the meeting tomorrow with Neville, about what they could potentially do with Harry’s ex-relatives, and just figuring things out.

“If Pomfrey has indeed hidden child abuse from you or the authorities,” Ragnok said, “And you don’t feel comfortable with her as your healer during or after your pregnancy, feel free to come to us, Severus. You know Healer Greyclaw is wanting to see you again,”

“Wanting to mother me, more like,” Severus snorted, “But I will be sure to keep that in mind, thank you,” he said softly, grateful to have people who cared about him in his life.

Severus and Kingsley said their goodbyes and left the office, walking out of the bank together. Severus saw, in the corner of his eyes, that Kingsley kept looking at him with something akin to awe, but also as if he had about a million questions to ask.

Severus sighed, “Kingsley, if you really want to talk about it, you can come back to Hogwarts with me and Neville after our meeting tomorrow and we can talk,”

Kingsley beamed at him, “Okay. I will be sure to do that,”

Severus rolled his eyes fondly.

“Do you want to go back to Hogwarts yet? Or would you like to go to get something to eat?” Kingsley asked.

“I am going back to Hogwarts. I have to write to Neville, and do some marking. I also have to ward my quarters more strongly than they already were so that I don’t get hounded by people every five minutes,” Severus said.

“Okay. Well, be careful, Sev. I don’t want to see you hurt,” Kingsley said gently.

“I’ll be as careful as I possibly can be in that school. I promise,” Severus said sincerely, his hand going to his stomach. He didn’t want to be hurt either, nor for Harry to be.

He didn’t know what he would do if something were to happen.

“If you or any of the students are in danger, come to me. I don’t care what time it is, come to me, or the goblins, call me, anything. Just get out of there. I know we’ve been building a case against Dumbledore because of the abuse cases, and such, but we can do without more stuff to add if you are in danger, if things get too bad. If you are hurt,” Kingsley said, almost desperately.

“Okay,” Severus nodded.

Kingsley nodded back, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sev,”

“See you tomorrow,”

Kingsley walked away and Severus couldn’t help but watch him go.

No one had ever been that genuinely worried about him before. It was striking that he had gone thirty three years without someone to worry or care if he was hurt. It hurt, really, that he had always been alone. Even Lily hadn’t cared that much, worried about him enough to tell him to leave everything and go to her if things got too bad. She had cared, but they were children, she didn’t know how to deal with abuse or anything, had no experience with it. But Kingsley was all in, he cared enough about Severus that Severus was his priority above everything else they were doing.

It awed him to be someone’s priority for a change. He had never been that before. He had never been number one.

His stomach fluttered a tad but he pushed it aside. He needed to get back to the castle.

And so he went.

As soon as Severus got back to the castle he figured he ought to speak to Poppy right away, lest he forget to do so another time. He stormed to the Hospital Wing and burst through the doors causing Poppy to jump where she was standing and changing the sheets on one of the beds.

“Severus, must you always be so dramatic?” she said as she tried to calm herself, “Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m fine physically. But I would like to know why, when Harry came to you for all those dangerous injuries that would have required an in depth scan, you didn’t pick up on the signs of abuse on the boy?” Severus said, trying to not growl at the woman who was paling drastically, and fidgeting on the spot.

“Severus-”

“Poppy, you know that you need to help children who have been abused, either by going to the authorities yourself when you come across a case, or by coming to me so that I can handle it. So why the hell didn’t you?”

“I… I couldn’t,” she muttered.

“Why not?” he growled, glaring at her formidably.

“Albus… he spelled me so that I couldn’t tell anyone who didn’t already know,”

“Why did you go to Albus in the first place? You know not to do that if you actually want to help the children,”

“He came to me, Severus. When Harry was in the hospital the first time, he came and had me do a scan. Then he spelled me so I couldn’t do anything except give Harry the occasional nutrient potion to help,”

“Why did you let him spell you? You are a capable witch, Poppy, you could have done something to stop him. Anything to protect a child. Anything to protect Harry,”

“I would have lost my job, Severus,”

“And you would have gotten a new one, probably at Saint Mungo’s. They would have hired you on the spot, especially if they found out you were fired because you were protecting a student from their abusers. Is this job really worth more than the life and safety of a child under our care?”

“I have a life Severus, I can’t just go from one job to another, changing my schedule and everything,”

“Not even for the sake of one of the children you swore to protect, and look after?” he raised an eyebrow at her and she backed away, “Harry’s life wasn’t as important as yours, right? His safety, his health, his life. None of it mattered so long as you didn’t have to change your own life. Who else have you done this too? Who else have you put your own life before? What other students are being hurt, or have been hurt, because you didn’t want to lose your job?”

She looked down, clearly nervous and he shook his head in anger.

“Don’t answer, I will find out on my own. But if I could have a copy of Harry’s scans that would be wonderful, I need to punish his relatives and make sure Albus doesn’t send him back to them. You aren’t my healer anymore, or Harry’s,”

She looked at him in shock and sadness, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want someone who put herself before her patient to be his or his son’s healer.

“Severus, you need help with the pregnancy, the birth-”

“Yes, Poppy, I probably do. But I have friends. Friends who are healers and are perfectly capable of helping me birth my son. I would feel much safer and more comfortable with someone who doesn’t put their job before their patients. Please go and get Harry’s files,”

She nodded and as soon as the files were in his hands he stormed back to his quarters to send a note to Neville.



…



He read the files.

And he lost the food in his stomach.

He then laid on the bathroom floor, curled in a ball as his stomach continued to churn and his eyes spilled tears down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, mummy,” Harry said weakly, sounding terrified beyond anything that Severus had ever heard.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s not your fault,” Severus said gently, rubbing his stomach in the hopes of calming the sickness and the child within.

“But I made you sick,” Harry said.

“And I am very happy to be sick because of you, Harry. You are my baby, and I am going to get morning sickness, and I don’t mind. Because in the end, I get you, and you are all that matters,” he said, really wishing he could go to Petunia and torture her for all the shit she had put his baby through that made him so insecure and terrified of everything.

He shook his head. How could Poppy put her job over Harry after reading those files? How could she risk her oath like that? Harry was clearly not safe, and she just let Albus spell her into complying with his wishes.

And who else had she done that to?



…



He opened the door to his office at precisely seven o’clock the next morning to find a very nervous Neville on the other side. He smiled slightly at the boy and let him in, leading the boy over to his desk and to the breakfast he had ready on it.

“How… How are you this morning, s-Severus?” Neville asked as they started on the food, though Neville was picking at his mostly.

“I am okay, Neville, thank you. And yourself?” Severus said gently.

Neville nodded, “Nervous,” he muttered.

“That’s okay. It is a rather nerve-wracking thing, talking about pain. But you won’t be alone, and we will help you as much as we can,”

Neville nodded again, trying to eat something to calm the butterflies in his stomach.

“Did… Did Professor Dumbledore say anything yesterday? About my pregnancy?” Severus asked, he needed to know what the damage was.

“Mhm,” Neville nodded, “He announced it at lunch. I’m assuming without your permission, Severus,”

“Indeed,” Severus’ lip curled in annoyance, “How did everyone react?”

“Well, the teachers were shocked, but other than that there wasn’t very much reaction from them, other than a little bit of confusion, maybe. Except maybe Professor Lupin,” Neville shrugged, “From the students… it was a very mixed pack. The purebloods and wizarding raised half bloods were rather confused that you are a bearer. The Muggleborns and muggle raised half bloods were confused because they don’t know what a bearer is, but it was explained by a lot of the purebloods, then they were confused because it was… you. There were certain groups of students who were angry, such as Ron, Hermione and Ginny. There was a huge argument between those three, myself and the twins. A few of the Slytherins were angry, mostly the upper year members such as Montague, Higgs, and Flint. But mostly it was just a lot of confusion. Myself, the twins, Percy, Luna Lovegood, and a few others were happy, because, well, it meant that only good things could come from you, right? Now that everything has changed. And it meant that Harry would be properly safe,”

It was then that Neville noticed he had finished his plate of food and his stomach wasn’t fluttering nearly as much as it was. He looked up at his Professor, who was smiling gently at him.

He beamed at the older man and thanked him quietly. Severus just nodded his head.

“What are you going to do, Severus? About everyone knowing?”

“There’s not really much I can do. Once people know, they know. I just have to work to mend any damage, and answer questions, and be myself,”

“Good,” Neville said, nodding.

At half past seven they floo’d to The Leaky Cauldron to escape anyone who may be up this early to interrogate Severus. They took a slow stroll through Diagon Alley, Neville trying to slow his whirling mind, and Severus hoping that the walk might help Neville a bit more, especially with how peaceful it was that early in the morning.

He was shocked, yet again, to find Kingsley waiting outside the bank for him, beaming at both him and Neville as he spotted them.

“Severus, you are positively glowing this morning,” Kingsley winked at him, causing Severus to blush slightly and glare at his friend, Kingsley just chuckled, “And you, young man, must be Neville,” Neville nodded nervously, though there was a slight smile on his face, “I am Kingsley Shacklebolt, Severus’ best friend, but don’t tell the goblins that because they will hunt me down,” he whispered the last part and Severus rolled his eyes as Neville let out a little giggle.

“Now, let’s get you two inside where it is warm and comfortable,” Kingsley said, holding the door to the bank open for them like any true gentleman would.

“Oh, I don’t know, Kingsley, I think I might be more comfortable and warm out here, without you being all… annoying,” Severus said, raising his eyebrow at the man who just gasped, gaping at him with a wounded look.

“Me, annoying? Never. You wound me, Sev,” Kingsley said, and Neville laughed.

Severus just shook his head and led Neville into the bank, Kingsley closing the door behind all of them.

Kingsley led them to the teller that was waiting for them by the door that led to the offices and they were quiet as they followed the goblin to the office that Ragnok would meet them in.

As soon as they entered the room, however, Severus was stopped by Healer Greyclaw, who stood in front of him with her hands on her hips, glaring up at him.

Severus sighed and Kingsley chuckled at his friend as he led a confused Neville over to the round table in the centre of the room and pulled a seat out for him.

“Young man, why didn’t you tell me as soon as you found out you were pregnant?” Healer Greyclaw demanded.

“Because I don’t need to tell you every aspect of my life right away. I wanted some time alone for it to sink in first,” Severus said.

“I hope you know that I will be your healer during this pregnancy, Severus, and afterwards. I will be the little one’s healer also,” she said sternly.

“I know. I was actually going to mention it to you all today that I don’t feel safe with Poppy as my healer during or after the pregnancy,” Severus said, and she backed down slightly, a smile on her face even as worry shone in her eyes.

“Why? Sev, what happened?” Kingsley asked, worried.

“I confronted her when I got back to the school yesterday, about Harry. She did know about the abuse, the full extent of it. But she let Albus spell her to not tell anyone who didn’t already know, so that she wouldn’t lose her job and have to change her life,” he growled.

“She isn’t going anywhere near me or my son during this pregnancy, or after. I have Harry’s medical record, and,” Severus shook his head, not wanting to say anything because he would vomit again. He walked over to the table and placed the file down, allowing them to all look at it whilst he went to sit next to Neville, trying to quench the churning in his stomach as he thought about what his baby had been through.

The growls he heard from Ragnok, Greyclaw and Kingsley were positively brutal, with promises of punishment for everyone who had a hand in hurting his baby. And it made him feel slightly better that at least some people in his life cared enough about children to save them from the monsters who hurt them.

He felt a smaller hand in his and he looked at Neville, shock in his eyes, to find Neville smiling at him sadly.

“You feeling okay, sir?” Neville asked.

“Mhm, a tad queasy is all,” he said, his lips tugging up at the corners slightly and squeezing his hand in thanks as he rubbed his stomach gently with his free hand.

“Did I hear you say you feel queasy, young man?” Healer Greyclaw said, pinning Severus with her eyes.

“Maybe,” Severus said.

“When did you last have a morning sickness relief potion?”

“An hour and a half ago,” Severus said.

He watched her scribble something on a piece of parchment and it disappeared. It wasn’t long before a plate of crackers and a goblet of water appeared in front of him.

“Eat,” she said.

“I have only just eaten,” Severus said.

“Eat,” she said, more sternly this time, glaring him into submission.

He nibbled on the crackers as the three continued to look at Harry’s file, and he was grateful that it actually helped with his queasiness.

Soon the three were done with the files and promising more retribution as they took their seats, Kingsley on the other side of Neville, Healer Greyclaw next to Severus, and Ragnok between those two.

Neville clung tighter to Severus’ hand nervously as attention turned to him and Severus squeezed it to attempt to comfort him.

“Hello, Heir Longbottom, I am King Ragnok, and this is Healer Greyclaw. I believe you know why we are all here, but I will reiterate. Severus came to us because you have said that you are being abused by your family. We have been helping abused children get away from their abusers and in loving families since your professor began teaching at Hogwarts. And we will help you, and keep you safe, in any way we can,” Ragnok said, his voice gentle and calm.

“But… My gran, she’s strong, powerful, and I’m…”

“You are a child, Neville. And you deserve to be safe, loved, and looked after like every other child. Even if it means taking you away from your family. Your grandmother is powerful, yes, but if she is hurting you, in any way, then she doesn’t deserve you. And you don’t deserve her. And if she is hurting you, then we can do something to get you away from it,” Kingsley said.

“How?” Neville asked quietly.

“That is what we will figure out, it differs from case to case depending on the family in question,” Severus said, his voice gentle, “But first we need you to tell us everything you can about how your family treat you. Even if you think it isn’t an abuse, it may well be. It can be something they say to you every day, something you are so used to that you think there is nothing wrong with it,” Neville nodded in understanding, looking at the pattern on the table so as not to look at any of them, “How would you rather do this? We can ask you questions and you answer them, or you can just tell us in your own time,”

“Erm,” Neville said, “Maybe the questions, I don’t really know…”

“Okay, we can do that,” Severus said.

“We will also be recording your answers, is that okay?” Healer Greyclaw said, gesturing to the quill and parchment sitting in front of her, the quill would be charmed to record everything that is said.

“Y-yes,” Neville stuttered quietly.

Healer Greyclaw nodded and charmed the quill, which moved to hover above the parchment, ready to write everything down.

“Okay, Neville, so who are your primary guardians?” King Ragnok said gently.

“My gran, Augusta Longbottom, is my legal guardian, but my great uncle Algernon stays with us most of the time also,”

“And you have been living with them for how long?”

“Since my… since my parents were hospitalised when I was just over fifteen months old,”

“Now we will move onto questions pertaining to abuse, are you okay to proceed? We can stop for a break whenever you need to, just tell us if you want to stop,” Ragnok said.

Neville nodded, “Okay,” he whispered.

“Has food or drink ever been withheld from you for any period of time?”

“I have gone a few days without a proper meal every now and then. One of the house elves would sneak me some fruit or something small that would go unnoticed, but I wasn’t allowed to eat. I always had water though,”

“Okay, and have they ever purposely over fed you, even if you were full, or felt sick?”

“Occasionally,” Neville muttered a shiver going down his spine. Severus squeezed his hand comfortingly, rubbing his thumb gently over the boys’ knuckles.

“As far as you are aware, has anyone in your family given you food or drink laced with anything that is harmful to children, wixen, or muggles, or yourself if you are allergic to the toxin in question?”

“Erm, my great uncle Algie, he gave me some food that was poisoned once to see if a bezoar worked on me,”

“That is Algernon, correct?” Ragnok growled.

“Yes, sir,” Neville nodded, looking down at his lap and scooching his chair closer to Severus’, clearly needing some more comfort, other than just the grip on the older man’s hand.

“As a result of any of these instances, do you have any issues with food consumption?”

“What do you mean?” Neville asked, looking confusedly at the goblin.

“I mean, young one, do you find it hard to eat regularly? Do you find it hard to eat certain foods, or drink certain drinks? Are you ill after eating larger quantities of food? Do you find food appealing? Or do you just eat what you have to to survive?”

“I, erm, I can’t… I can’t eat more than one helping at meal times, but even then, I can’t always eat… a typical portion, like what my year mates would eat. It depends on my mood, I think. I… A lot of the time I’m not even… I don’t want food, but I force myself to eat so that people don’t question me, especially at home. I… I don’t like to eat scrambled eggs, because that is what he put the poison in. The sight of them on my plate makes me sick, with fear I guess. But other types of eggs I am okay with, except maybe an omelette. I also don’t… I struggle sometimes in certain places. Like at home it is worse because that is where I have the most troubles. At Hogwarts it is sometimes okay, but people look at me funny when I don’t eat much compared to them, and, I don’t know. I think it depends on my mood most of the time, and the mood of the people around me. But I don’t like eating in large crowds because of the pressure of everyone there, I guess,” Neville shrugged, fiddling with his trousers slightly.

“Okay. Have they ever left you in a hot or a cold place for an extended period of time without adequate protection or supervision?”

“Erm, when I was younger… They would leave me in one of the greenhouses for a while on my own in the summer, or in the winter, without anything to help me with the heat or the cold. And I would be in there for hours. I… I was scared of greenhouses for a while but then my magic kicked in when uncle Algie threw me out that window when I was eight, and the plants started to talk to me, sometimes. They would help me from that point onwards, and I got over it,”

“Your uncle threw you out of a window?” Severus growled protectively as he squeezed Neville’s hand.

“Mhm, to try and get my magic to come out. He had done other things before then, but none of them worked. I… It was one of the third story windows of the Manor, and… My magic came out just in time and I bounced when I hit the floor… I refuse to go on the third floor or higher now… I can’t,”

“That is completely understandable, Neville,” Kingsley said gently, resting his hand on Neville’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze for comfort before removing it unsurely.

“What other things did your family do to try and get your magic to manifest?” Ragnok growled, his voice both fierce and gentle, somehow.

“Erm… Well… I,” Neville was shaking slightly and Severus wanted nothing more than to take the boy into his arms and hold him, but he didn’t know how Neville would react to it, he didn’t know what the boy had been through, so he held back, just holding his hand.

“Do you need to take a break, Neville?” Severus asked, moving closer to the boy to let him know, silently, that he was there.

“N-No, I need to do this all now because I don’t know if I will be able to do it again,” Neville said, sitting up straighter with a determined look in his eyes, but Severus could still see a hint of fear, and so much pain that it twisted something in his once thought cold heart.

“Are you sure?”

Neville nodded, “It was mostly my Uncle really, although my gran… she knew what he was doing, and approved of it, I guess… He… We went to the beach in Blackpool and he threw me off the pier. I nearly drowned but a nice muggle man saved me. I… I haven’t been able to swim since, water just…” he shivered, “The greenhouse incidents were also things to see if my magic would get me out of there, or help me with the heat or cold. Erm, there was a time when he… there was a fire, and he locked me in the room to see if I could get myself out, with magic. And I couldn’t, until I called for a house elf anyway. The house elves kept me away from him for as long as they could, but he kept finding me,” tears were leaking from his eyes, and his body was shaking, but his back was still somewhat straight despite his eyes looking at the pattern on the table.

Severus wanted nothing more in that moment than to find Algernon and tear him from limb to limb before tossing him in a burning room, without the aid of magic, and seeing if he can make it out alive.

“Why couldn’t they just see?” Neville whispered desperately, “I… My magic was working. I know it was. I did magic all the time, just little things, but I did magic. And they never saw. They never saw me. They just saw my father, and how much I wasn’t like him. Why couldn’t they just let me be me? I don’t… I don’t know my dad, not really. I don’t know what he was like… I just want to be me. I am magical. I am me. They wouldn’t even let me get my own wand, I have to use my dad’s because maybe that would teach me something about being brave, or strong, or powerful. I don’t… I want to work with plants, but no, I have to be an Auror because that is what dad did. I want to do well at school I really do, but I can’t… I don’t know how. Gran will be disappointed in me no matter what I do, and the bloody wand won’t work for me. And I just… I can’t concentrate because I’m not good enough for anything or anyone,

“Harry helped. He helped. He… he had no one, too. But we had each other. We made each other strong. We made each other believe in ourselves. We believed in each other, because no one else would truly believe in us . Not in who we really were. Not in who we wanted to be. But now he is gone. Not gone really, but he isn’t here. He isn’t my age. He isn’t my friend. He can’t help me. And I have no one else,”

Severus turned to face Neville, getting up from his chair just to kneel in front of him, “Neville, remember what I said yesterday, you are going to be Harry’s big brother. And not just anyone can fill that role. It has to be someone who is kind, brave, caring, loving, protective, and has the capacity to make their sibling believe in themselves, even when they feel like they can’t. You and Harry were already practically brothers, but now you will be proper brother, just with a different age gap. And that is okay, because you can teach him all the things you wanted to know growing up, and he can teach you all the things you need to know, and believe in you, and look up to you like the amazing young man you are,

“I wouldn’t have chosen you for that role in Harry’s life if I didn’t believe in you, Neville. You. Not the image of your father that your family has been pushing on you for so terribly long. Your father was a great man. And you will be a great man, too, just in a different way. Your own way. And that is okay. Everyone is different. No one is the same. And you aren’t alone. You have me, you have Harry, and you have all the people in this room with us. And none of us are going anywhere for a bloody long time if I have anything to say about it. We are all here to help you. To protect you. And to help you be you. You shouldn’t have to conform to other people’s beliefs of who you should be. You are a child. And you have the right to figure yourself out; what you want to do, who you want to be. And we will be with you every step of the way. We will get you away from your family. You will be safe. And you will learn that you are worth something. You are worth everything,”

Neville was sobbing as he threw himself into Severus’ arms, and Severus just sat on the floor, holding him, rocking him, and speaking words of comfort into his ears.

He briefly glanced at Kingsley to find the man smiling at them both with a look of awe, and… something in his eyes that sent good, yet weird shivers down his spine and butterflies through his stomach.

He blushed but went back to focusing on Neville and helping him. Neville was all that mattered in that moment.

It took a while, but Neville eventually stopped crying, although he stayed in Severus’ arms for a while longer. Not that Severus minded, he could stay there for as long as he needed. His heart ached painfully for the boy who had been hurt so terribly by his family.

Kingsley was still smiling at them, awe in his dark eyes, and something else that still made Severus’ heart feel a good kind of funny.

“Can… Can we finish this now? I don’t think I will be able to do it another time,” Neville whispered after a bit longer.

“Of course. If that is what you want,” Severus said, helping Neville stand and sit back down in his seat, resuming his own seat and holding Neville’s hand so he had some comfort.

“Are you sure, little one? We can wait as long as you need,” Healer Greyclaw said, concern in her eyes.

Neville nodded desperately, “I can’t… I need to do it now, please,”

“Okay,” King Ragnok said as he tapped the quill to resume the quoting, “Were you ever physically hit, burned, or stabbed by anyone in your family? Or any other physical abuse that you can recall?”

“I… I have been hit a few times, by my gran and my uncle. Nothing major, just a few slaps here and there, the occasional punch,” Neville said shakily.

“Has anything ever been aimed at you? Either by them throwing the item in question, or whacking you with it?” Ragnok said gently.

“Erm… Uncle Algie threw a vase at me once, it smashed near enough to me that a bit of the glass ricocheted into my leg. But that is all I can recall,”

“Okay,” Ragnok nodded, “Have… Have you ever been touched inappropriately by anyone in or out of your family?”

Neville gulped, “What do you mean?”

“Has anyone touched you in… weird ways, or inappropriate places, without your permission, or after you have told them ‘no’ or to stop? Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable with their touches? And I don’t mean via physical pain,”

“Erm… I don’t think so,” Severus almost breathed a sigh of relief at his answer.

“Okay, this is to add on to that, I’m hoping it is unnecessary based on your previous answer, but I need to cover all bases. Has anyone in your family, or out of your family with your family’s knowledge of the event, ever raped you, or forced you to do something you were uncomfortable with, or didn’t want to do?”

“No, sir,” Neville said.

“And another add on, which I am hoping is not necessary, but again, we need to cover our bases, has anyone ever successfully or unsuccessfully tried to mutilate your genitalia in anyway?”

Neville blushed slightly and placed his hand on his stomach in a way that had Severus dreading his answer.

Please, Merlin, no.

“Erm… When I was twelve, we found out I am a bearer,” Neville said, “I didn’t know much about them until Severus told me about Harry, because… My gran and uncle didn’t like the news too much. At all, really. They think it is unnatural, you see, for a man to carry a child. And gran hated it because I was even more unlike my dad than I was before. Because I can have babies, and he couldn’t,” Neville choked and Severus wanted nothing more than to take the boy in his arms again, “My uncle wanted to… h-he wanted to…”

“Neville, child, you don’t have to go on if you can’t, we can wait,” Healer Greyclaw said softly.

“No. I-I need to do this now. Now. He w-wanted to cut out my womb, and gran wanted him to, also. They tied me down, and uncle tried to… He came at me with a knife, ready to do it. But my magic saved me, and the house elves did, too. My magic burst out and protected me with a shield so strong that he couldn’t get through it no matter how hard he tried. Neither could gran. Then I called the house elves and they removed them from the room, untied me, and helped keep them away from me for as long as they could. One of them always stayed with me after that, also, so that they could stop anything they tried again,”

“Did they try again?” Severus asked quietly.

“A few times, but after the house elves started showing themselves properly around me they stopped. It never worked, though. I still have my womb,” Neville said, looking at the floor.

“The last thing we need to ask about before we run a health scan on you is regarding verbal, emotional and mental abuse,” Ragnok said, “Given some of what you have revealed so far I would say that there has been a fair amount of that also so I won’t go into too much detail, but if you could just tell us about some of the things they would say or do to you that hurt you emotionally, mentally, or affected you in some other way,”

“W-well, they… After finding out that I am a bearer they always called me a freak. That was another thing Harry and I bonded over, too, because he was always called a freak by his family,” Neville said, still looking down at his lap, his hand in Severus’, gripping tight as he leaned against the man’s strong arm, “They… They compared me to my dad all the time, said that I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t like him. I was too weak. Too cowardly. Too unmagical. They said my parents would be disappointed in me. That they would hate that I don’t want to be an Auror like them. That I want to work with plants, of all things. I… I… I told them, once, before I started at Hogwarts, that I didn’t want to be in Gryffindor, and they shouted at me for hours. Called me worthless. Selfish. Crazy. Stupid. The Sorting Hat sorted me there because… Because he saw what they would do to me if I was sorted anywhere else, because they had told me, in great detail, before I got on the train. He also said that I was b-brave, and anything but a coward, but how can I believe that? I-I was told one minute that I was fat, and ugly, and horrible, and then the next I was told that I wasn’t eating enough, that I…

“They glared at me a lot. Or appeared behind me out of nowhere. They… I had nightmares, and they would tell me I was weak for crying… for crying about anything really, not just the nightmares. I was… I was there, when my parents were… And I can remember it, sometimes, like Harry could sometimes remember his parent’s deaths. Those were my nightmares, mostly, but I was weak. I was a coward. I was stupid. They would tell me… T-they would t-tell me-me that they wished that I was the one who was tor-tortured instead of my parents. Because I’m no good anyway, right? I’m no good. They were brave, and strong, and smart, and magical, and did something good for work, something proper and respectable… but me… I’m no one. I’m not brave, or strong, or smart, or magical, and I don’t want a respectable job that’s good and proper. I don’t matter. I was a baby, a baby, but it’s okay for me to be tortured because I’m no one. I’m not her grandchild, I’m not his nephew. I’m no one. I’m not good enough. And they could have always had more babies to replace me, right? Right? Better babies,”

Neville was shaking in his arms again, but Severus didn’t care as he held the boy close to his chest and let out his own silent tears because how fucking dare they do this to a child.

Kingsley looked about ready to go find the two menaces and torture them into extinction. Severus almost wished he could join him, and the goblins that were clearly itching to go also, but Neville was more important in that moment than any revenge. That could come later.

He saw that the quill had stopped in its motions and knew that the interview part of the meeting was over. But he didn’t want to let Neville out of his arms for him to be checked over by Healer Greyclaw just yet.

“Neville, child, your parents would be so very proud of you,” Severus said, his voice quiet and gentle as he held the boy close, “They loved you so much, and I am sure they still do, somewhere, deep down. They would be appalled at how you have been treated by your family. The ones who were supposed to love and protect you. You are an amazing child. You are kind. And brave. And caring. And loving. And loyal. It doesn’t matter that you want to work with plants, that is a perfectly respectable job. Potion Masters need people like you to gather many of our ingredients, after all. I like to gather what I can myself, but I also know that I don’t have access to many of them, so I need people like you to get me the ingredients I need to make potions to heal people, and more. And that makes the job you want to do a very respectable and important job. Because how can we heal people without the potions necessary to the process?” Severus said, rubbing the boy’s back gently as the shaking settled down slightly and his sobs turned to sniffles.

“And yes, at the moment we can’t cure everything, everyone, but one day… One day, with the help of people who work with the plants we need, who can find and create new plants, we will be able to make miracles happen. You are a miracle, Neville. Your parents know it. I know it. Everyone else in this room knows it. And everyone with half a brain knows it, too. You are very much needed in this world. You are magical. You are worthy of love, and care, and compassion, and protection. You aren’t a freak. It is their fault for not being able to see how amazing you truly are. For hurting you so terribly. You have the power to be so amazingly gifted, Neville, I know it. I saw you work with Harry in class and how your potion was perfect up until that ingredient went flying. You are so talented, and I’ve heard Professor Sprout joyously recount all the amazing things you have done in her classes. And if they hadn’t hurt you, then you would have been able to truly shine in all of your classes,

“But that doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to now. I will do everything I can to ensure that you are removed from their custody, and I will make sure you know your worth, and that you can be whatever you want to be, and that you know you aren’t weak, or stupid. You aren’t stupid, Neville. I will do everything I can to make sure you become more confident in yourself, so that you can truly shine like the miracle you are. You are worth every star in the universe, child. And I will do everything I can to ensure you know that,”

“Harry, too?” Neville whispered against Severus’ chest.

“Harry, too,” Severus agreed, kissing the top of Neville’s head gently.

“I… I want to be Harry’s big brother,” Neville said.

“You already are,” Severus said, a small smile on his face.

“I… I know, but prop-properly,” Neville looked up at Severus then and Severus looked at him in shock.

Neville smiled sheepishly.

“I-I used to dream about what my mum would have been like. How… How she would look after me, care for me. And… I mean I never really knew how a mum was meant to be, but you come pretty close to how I imagined it. You tell me that I am worth it. You hold me. You make me feel safe, and loved, and cared for. You make me feel like I’m not completely useless. That I have something worth something. That I’m not a freak,” Neville said, and Severus just watched him in wonder.

“Even before, before the accident I knew there was something about you, something good. You kept saving Harry’s life, after all. And I could see your mask slip occasionally. So could Harry. I knew you were hiding, for yourself and for us. But, even when you were at your meanest I never felt unsafe with you. I… I want to be Harry’s brother, for real. If you don’t want me then that’s okay, I understand. Being a single parent of one won’t be easy, let alone two, but… I mean, if you don’t want me then I know you will find someone good, someone I can trust. And you will still look after me, and I can still be Harry’s brother…” Neville trailed off nervously, and Severus was…

Well he was astounded that this child would want him. Him . Why would any child want him?

“Why… Why would you want me?” Severus couldn’t help but whisper.

“Because you are safe. Because you have cared for me more in the last two days than anyone has since my parents were hurt. Because you are mine and Harry’s miracle,” Neville said strongly, and Severus had to try and swallow down his emotions.

Though it was hard.

“Do you want me?” Neville asked nervously.

“Of course I want you, Neville,” Severus said, holding the boy close as his heart threatened to explode.

He could feel Neville grin into his chest and Severus smiled, although he blushed when he saw the way Kinglsey and the goblins were looking at him.

They didn’t matter, though. Neville and Harry were the only ones that mattered in that moment.

“Thank you, mum,” he heard Harry say.

“There’s still work to do, yet, Harry. But thank you, also,” Severus said back to his baby boy, his littlest miracle.

“Right, let’s get down to business,” King Ragnok said, and Neville blushed as he pulled away from Severus slightly, though he didn’t move back to his chair just yet, “Young Neville, we need to do a full health scan on you to see if there are any injuries or anything that need fixing, and to gather more evidence. Then we can discuss how to proceed,”

“Okay,” Neville said, still reluctant to move away from Severus, but he did so when Healer Greyclaw came over and gently asked him to sit in his own chair.

The health scan was soon over and Neville was gripping Severus’ hand nervously as the adults looked over it and growled collectively at the harm caused to the boy. The injuries were ridiculous, although, somewhat thankfully, there weren’t nearly as many as Harry had. But the periods of malnutrition, and overnutrition were obvious. The poison. Along with cases of pneumonia, and heat stroke, a few broken bones, evidence of drownings, and more. His womb wasn’t harmed, thankfully, clearly they didn’t think of the rare potions a bearer can use to… well, destroy their womb. Although, admittedly, it isn’t usually the bearer that chooses to take them, rather it is usually forced upon them. He had some scars, including one in his leg from the glass vase. But it still contained more than enough evidence to arrest for child abuse and child endangerment.

“What now?” Neville asked nervously.

“Yours is a delicate case, Heir Longbottom, as you well know,” King Ragnok said, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything. I think the best way to try, at least at first, will be to call your grandmother in and see if she will sign over custody. We don’t have to say to whom, she will probably argue a lot more if she knows you have chosen Severus. But I believe, hope really, that she would rather just sign over custody of you than have us make this public. Which we will, if she dares to not do this one little thing for you after everything she has done to you. Of course, this doesn’t mean that her and your uncle won’t be punished. They will be. But they will be punished a lot less publicly if she signs over custody now,” Ragnok grinned as he spoke, but Neville didn’t seem worried by it.

“O-Okay,” Neville said.

“Are you okay to be in the same room as her? I can take you somewhere else whilst she is here?” Severus said, he wasn’t needed in the room either, the goblins and Kingsley could handle the situation well enough on their own.

“I’ll be fine,” Neville said, sitting up a bit taller, “I… I need to do this, I think,”

“Okay,” Severus said gently, “But if you need to leave at any point then let me know and I will take you out,”

Neville just nodded.

And, half an hour later, Augusta Longbottom was in the room, looking both confused and angry, especially as she saw her grandson sitting nervously between Severus and Kingsley.

“What is this about? I have important things to be doing. What has he done?” Augusta snarled, and Neville flinched, leaning closer to Severus, although no longer holding his hand.

Ragnok growled, “This is about your child rearing abilities, Dowager Longbottom,” he ignored her raised eyebrows, “Tell me, can you explain why you thought it okay to allow your brother to chuck your own grandson out of a window? Or to allow him to attempt to remove Neville’s womb? Or anything else that you have done, which we have evidence of, and we will get others involved if you don’t comply with our wishes,”

“He is unnatural. It isn’t right for a man to bear children. To be gay. Any of it. My son would be ashamed of who his baby has become. Neville should be more like him. Strong. Brave. Intelligent. Magical. And he isn’t. He is none of those things. He is a runt. A freak. A nobody. I wanted him to be magical, but his magic was always so weak, so not there. I thought letting those things happen would shape him into a better man, but clearly not if he is here crying to you lot about it,” she said sternly.

Neville was trembling slightly next to him and Severus’ heart hurt, but before he could say anything Kingsley jumped into the conversation with a ferocity that Severus had never seen from the man before.

“I think he has every right to cry about how you have treated him. He is your grandson, he is a child. Children are meant to be cherished and you let your brother hurt him in ways that no child should be hurt, and you hurt him, too. Who the fuck thinks it a wonderful idea to tell a child that they should have been the ones tortured as a baby rather than their parents? Did you know that he remembers that night? He remembers the night his parents were tortured in front of him, and those nightmares he cried about, the ones you told him off for crying about, were him reliving that night. He was a baby, a magical baby, and you refused to see it. You refuse to see how special he is, how magical he is. Just the fact that he is a bearer alone means he is powerful, more powerful than the average witch or wizard. It means he is more naturally magical than even you are,

“And yet, his whole fucking childhood, you have been drilling into him that he is useless, and weak, and not magical, because he wouldn’t do magic openly. Did you ever think, for even one second, that maybe he was scared, maybe the night his parents were hurt had affected him in some way? Maybe he just needed a little help and encouragement, but you did the exact opposite of that. In any case, though, it doesn’t matter how magical he is, does it? Because he is still your grandson. Your son, and daughter-in-law were tortured because they loved him so much that they wanted to protect him from the Death Eaters. And yet you took their sacrifice for their son, who they loved more than life itself, and you abused him in a way no child should have to experience, let alone from their own family,

“You think that he is weak because he doesn’t want to be an Auror, because he wants to work with plants instead, and yet you fail to realise how important plants are. He isn’t weak. He isn’t useless. I know the potions Frank and Alice are on to keep them alive, they were my friends after all, my colleagues. Those potions wouldn’t be around if not for the herbologists out there looking after the plants needed for them. He wants a respectable career, but because he isn’t exactly like Frank he isn’t important, right? But how can he be exactly like Frank when the only thing he remembers about the man is him being tortured? We in the wizarding world are raised to believe that all magical children are special, miracles, important, and you failed to see those things about Neville,

“To the point where you let your brother poison him to see if a fucking bezoar would work, and it did work, thankfully. And yet you still didn’t see how magical Neville was. It could only work if he was magical, after all. But what would you have done if it hadn’t worked? If Neville had died in any of the attempts on his life; the poisoning, the throwing off a pier, the throwing out of the window, any of it; what would you have done? What would your excuse have been? You know the tests run on a child’s dead body, you know what we would have found out about how he was raised, so why on earth did you decide to let yourself and your brother harm him given how much you value your reputation? Why? What made you think that treating your grandchild like this was an acceptable thing to do?” Kingsley growled protectively as he stood between Neville and the woman glaring at him.

“I lost my son because of him. And he did nothing to earn anything from me, to prove that it was worth it. There was no magic from him. No effort. No nothing. He is weak-willed. He cries at everything. He isn’t brave. He can’t stand up for himself. He is useless. Lazy. He cost me my son, my baby boy, and he gave me nothing in return. What was I supposed to do? Coddle him? Love him?”

“He was a baby,” Kingsley shouted, “And he had just lived through something incredibly traumatic. Something that still affects him to this bloody day. He is your grandson. None of what happened was his fault. The only people at fault for this situation are the ones who hurt Alice and Frank. So yes, you were meant to love him, and protect him, and care for him. He did nothing wrong. Nothing. He is a child. An innocent, amazing child. The son of your own son. And you hurt him. You hurt him, and allowed your brother to hurt him, too. What would Frank think if he was cured one day, and came home to find his son hurting because of you, or worse, dead because you let your brother get away with all the shit he pulled? What would he say if you had succeeded in killing his baby boy? The one he loved so fucking much that he let those Death Eaters torture him so that they wouldn’t touch a hair on his baby’s head. What would he say?”

Augusta was pale, but Severus could still see her glare as she looked at the irate man. There was pain in her eyes, too, but it didn’t matter. She was grieving the loss of the man her son used to be, sure, but that didn’t give her the right to hurt her grandson in such horrendous ways.

She didn’t answer and Kingsley growled at her before pulling the parchments closer to her, along with a quill and some ink.

“Sign these and we won’t make what you did to Neville, your grandson, your son’s baby boy, public,” Kingsley ground out.

“What are they?” Augusta snarled.

“The first is a form for you to sign custody of Neville over to someone else, someone who will love him and protect him, and not hurt him. The second is one for you to give up all rights to the Longbottom name, moneys and other artefacts. You will also rescind your right to holding the Longbottom seat on the Wizengamot so that it can be passed on to a more suitable proxy until Neville is of age,” Kingsley said.

“And why would I do either of those things? As you keep saying, the freak is my grandson. And you can’t just make me lose my title like that,”

“Yes, we can,” Ragnok growled, “You can lose the title of Dowager Longbottom very easily. Your husband is dead, and there is a clause in the Longbottom family charter that says if the person holding the proxy for an Heir, who is married into the family rather than born into it, is deemed unfit by either the goblins, Lady Magic, or the Longbottom family charter, then they shall be removed from the family name, and their position. You would revert back to the name you had before you were married. You would lose access to the Longbottom vaults, houses, and heirlooms. And you wouldn’t be able to hold the proxy anymore,

“And I, King Ragnok of the Gringotts clan of goblins, do, in fact, find you unfit. You see, we take child abuse very seriously. We care about children, you see, they are the future after all. And if someone is hurting the Heir to a family, in particular, then we will do everything we can to protect that Heir. And you have hurt him, allowed your brother to hurt him, almost kill him, even. Without a single ounce of remorse. He is your grandson, as you quite rightly just said, but he is not a freak. You should have loved him, cherished him. But if you ever did love him, then perhaps you might sign those parchments. Protect him for once in your life, from the pain that has been caused by you and your brother. Because if you don’t sign them then I promise that we will make your life incredibly difficult for you. This will go public, and you will lose your reputation as well as everything else. If you sign them, though, then everything will be kept as quiet as possible so at least your reputation will still be intact,” Ragnok said.

“And what would Frank have to say to me giving his son to a stranger?” she said stiffly.

“What would he have to say about you abusing his son?” Kingsley growled at her and she sniffed disdainfully.

“If I sign those, you won’t tell anyone?” Augusta said.

“Your reputation will be intact,” Ragnok growled.

She signed the parchments. Then she left without a word.

And Neville crumbled, Severus holding him as he did so.

“Will her reputation be intact?” Neville asked quietly.

“I doubt it,” Ragnok grinned as he passed the custody papers over to Severus and Neville, “But we will only release what you are okay with us releasing. Her and her brother deserve punishment for the horrors they put you through, and we will punish them. Now, I need you both to sign on the lines indicated. Severus as the new mother since you are a bearer, and Neville on the section for the child being adopted,”

Severus’ heart stuttered slightly as he and Neville signed the papers. How was it that in a matter of a few days he had two sons?

He had a family, at last.

“Wait,” Kingsley said, and everyone looked at him in shock and confusion, “Can I… Can I sign them, too?” he seemed rather nervous as he looked between Severus and Neville.

Severus was more shocked by that point. Kingsley wanted to adopt Neville, too. Neville looked a mixture of confused and delighted.

“I… I mean, we need to protect Neville from Dumbledore, too, right. Because of the prophecy. And surely it will be best to do that if Neville were to have two parents, rather than just the one. Especially if one of those parents is someone he believes is firmly on his side. And, I mean, I have wanted a family for a while now, I just… Yeah, I mean, if you aren’t both okay with this then it’s fine. I just think it would be best for Neville’s protection, and such, if he had another parent, maybe,” Kingsley looked more sheepish than Severus had ever seen him, and Severus blushed when the man looked at him with those dark, eyes filled with so much awe and everything else.

“Yes, please,” Neville said, looking at Severus with awe in his eyes, and also a little bit of mischief as he saw the look in Kingsley’s eyes directed at his Professor, his new mum.

“I… I mean, if you want to, Kingsley, I don’t see why not,” Severus said, “The more people we have in our corner the better. To protect Neville and Harry. From everyone. And you were friends with Alice and Frank, so you can tell Neville about them, properly,”

So Kingsley’s name joined Severus’ on the adoption certificate and it was, surreal. That wasn’t even mentioning the fact that he had claimed the Prince Lordship, at last.

But no, the most important thing was that Severus was leaving the bank with two sons, one safe in his womb, and the other clinging to his hand as if it were a lifeline.

And then they were back in Severus’ quarters, all three of them, standing in the middle of the living room, looking at each other with varying degrees of awe and other emotions that Severus didn’t completely understand.

“Right, well, thank you, both, for today. For helping me,” Neville said nervously, “Erm, it means a lot, I guess, to be listened to. I… erm, I don’t know what to say, but thank you. I know it’s not over with gran yet, that there is more to come, but… but thank you, for everything,”

“You have nothing to thank us for, Neville. You are a child, and you deserve to be loved, and looked after by people who aren’t going to hurt you,” Severus said gently, looking at his son, his heart pounding with hope.

“Thank you,” Neville said again, “I’m going to go meet the twins and leave you two to talk,” he grinned, “See you later,”

Then he was gone, a grin still on his face, and it was just the two of them.

Just Severus and Kingsley.

The best of friends.

For many years.

And yet, as they looked at each other, as the other man’s eyes looked into his, he couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Kingsley wanted more. Was that what it was? The awe in the man’s eyes as he looked at Severus? The other things?

But how? How could someone as good, in all ways, as Kingsley was, want Severus? How-

His thoughts were cut off rather suddenly by a kiss.

A kiss that was both fierce and gentle, somehow. And it was the best kiss he had ever experienced. It made him feel safe. And loved. And cherished.

It felt right.

Being in Kingsley’s arms, which were wrapped both firmly and gently around Severus’ waist as Severus wrapped his arms around the man’s neck, felt right.

When Kingsley pulled back he didn’t go far, just far enough to rest his forehead against Severus’ as they both breathed deeply.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Kingsley whispered, and Severus’ heart skipped a beat or two at the words.

Why?

Why had he wanted him?

“I know it’s rather sudden, Sev. But I have had feelings for you for years now, I’ve just been too cowardly to admit it to you before now. That being said, though, can we give this a go? Can we be a family, maybe? You, me, Neville, Harry, and maybe a few more little ones down the road? Can we try?” Kingsley said.

Severus was lost for words, really.

Why would this beautiful man want him?

And yet, Severus felt right in those arms. Everything felt good. He was safe. His babies were safe. So long as they had Kingsley.

He didn’t know the precise nature of his feelings. But he felt sparks, and butterflies, and all those things that teenage girls and boys would often say they felt when in love.

Maybe he was in love, though he wasn’t completely sure. He wasn’t used to feeling loved.

But maybe, just maybe, his life could be good.

If he gave something good a chance.

And Kingsley was good.

More than good really.

“Okay,” Severus breathe, “We can try,”

Severus sighed tiredly as he splashed his face with cool water. It was Monday again, and it would be the first day back to classes since he became pregnant and adopted Neville. He still felt a tad queasy, even after his morning sickness relief potion, though he figured some food would help, maybe?

The question was, though, whether he should go to the Great Hall, or hide in his quarters until his first class of the day.

Going to the Great Hall would only bring stares, chatter, and well, much more trouble than he felt he could deal with at that time.

But he didn’t want to hide.

He wanted to see his son.

His son.

Merlin, he had two sons now.

Two little boys.

And… And Kingsley.

He blushed slightly as he stepped back into his bedroom to get dressed for the day.

“Are you okay, mummy? I’m sorry for making you sick again,” Harry said nervously.

“I’m fine, Harry. I’m just tired, and… nervous, I guess. It’s going to be a long day… week,” Severus said back, rubbing his flat stomach gently, “It’s not your fault, Harry. It is completely natural for me to be feeling sick right now. And I don’t mind, because after all of this I get to hold you in my arms. For you I will do anything, baby, even be sick occasionally so that you can grow healthily inside me,”

“Will you be sick the whole pregnancy?” Harry said, still very scared.

“Maybe, though usually the sickness only lasts for the first trimester, as your body is getting used to the hormones and the child growing in you. So in a few weeks it should stop. But even if it doesn’t, I don’t mind. And it isn’t your fault,” Severus said gently as he tugged off his pyjamas and pulled on his teaching clothes.

He left his bedroom and stopped for a second when he realised that the living room was a tad bigger than it usually was, and there were two extra doors coming off the room. One next to his bedroom door, and the other on the other side of it. He opened the first one to find that it was empty, other than a basic ebony wardrobe with stars and moons carved into it, and a chest of draws in a similar fashion. There was a window, too, much like the one in his own bedroom, smaller than the one in the living room, but it looked into the depths of the lake, but it went outwards, into the lake, with a smaller window on top of the nook also. And there was a window seat large enough, and comfortably padded with forest green cushions, for him and his sons, and even Kingsley, to spend some time there when little Harry was born.

There was a door to the left hand side also, and he opened it to reveal a large bathroom with a door opposite, leading, Severus presumed, into the other new room. There was a bath built into the floor that was a good size, a walk in shower, a toilet, a sink, and plenty of cabinets of towels and toiletries.

Then he wandered through the door opposite the empty rooms’ and found another bedroom, presumably for Neville considering it had a mahogany four-poster bed, a wardrobe and chest of drawers similar to Harry’s, only mahogany instead of ebony. It also had a bookshelf, a desk and comfortable looking wingback chair in a dark red, and it also had a window nook into the lake, with a seat.

And it dawned on him, really, then that he was a parent.

He was a mother.

He had a family.

He had a little boy upstairs in Gryffindor Tower.

And he had another in his womb.

He placed his hand gently on his stomach as his breath hitched and he tried to get control of himself.

He finally, finally , had the one thing he had always wanted.

A family.

He was free.

He was free.

Mostly anyway. Dumbledore was still lurking around. Sirius Black was on the loose. And the Dark Lord was trying to return.

Sirius Black was on the loose.

His breath hitched again.

Of course this all had to happen when the person who had tried to kill him when they were teens was on the loose. The same person who was trying to kill his son. The person who had escaped Azkaban to kill his son.

His baby.

He breathed shakily, trying not to think about it. He couldn’t think about it. Not now. He had classes to teach. Apologies to make.

He took a deep breath again and headed out of the room, towards the door to the outside world, and he opened it only to stop in shock when he found one Remus Lupin standing on the other side, fist raised as if he was about to knock.

He took a deep, shuddering breath again.

“Ah, Severus,” Lupin said nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

“Lupin,” Severus said tightly, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I… I was wondering if you would let me walk you to breakfast,”

Severus raised an eyebrow, “Why would I want that? Why would you want to walk me to breakfast? You know, the boy you used to call Snivellus ,”

“Can’t we move past that by now?” Lupin cringed, “We are adults. We’ve grown up. Can’t we move past school boy grudges and become friends?”

“It was more than a grudge and you know it,” Severus growled as he stepped out of his rooms and closed the door sharply behind him, “And that still doesn’t explain to me why you want to walk me to breakfast, or why I should let you,” he said as he turned and started storming down the hall.

“Look, Severus,” Lupin said as he struggled to keep up with the dark haired man, “I know things were difficult in school. I really do. But you are carrying James and Lily’s child. And you will need help. So let me help you, please. Harry is my last link to them, and they were my best friends. I… I just want to help you, and be part of his life,”

Severus stopped abruptly and turned to the heavily breathing man who stumbled as he also stopped, looking at Severus in shock and confusion upon seeing the man’s anger.

“If you wanted to be part of Harry’s life then why weren’t you? Where have you been for the last twelve years, Lupin?” Severus growled, “In any case, he is my child now. Mine. Yes, Potter may still be his father, biologically. But he is not here. I am Harry’s mother, me. And I get to decide who is in his life and who isn’t. You can’t just push yourself on me as if you have every right to be there. Maybe if you had stayed in contact with Harry, checked in on him every now and then, or whatever else you could have done over the last twelve years, then I would consider it. As you said yourself, they were your best friends, and yet you didn’t once think to check on their son. To make sure he was okay. But considering you haven’t had anything to do with Harry at all, and our past, I don’t think I can trust you around my son. So please, leave me the hell alone. I don’t need help walking to the Great Hall, or anywhere else for that matter. I’m pregnant. Not disabled,”

Severus turned to start walking again, but Lupin gripped his wrist tight and Severus glared at the man.

“Please, Severus. I… I thought we were friends in our fifth year, when we would study together. I thought… I’m sorry… But I just… I just want to help you. And Harry. I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch with Harry. That I didn’t see him. But I was… I was busy, trying to survive. As far as I am aware, though, you didn’t see Harry either, and Lily was your best friend,” Lupin said.

“I tried. I tried to see him, to make sure he was okay. But Albus lied to me about where he was, and told me there were wards around that prevented anyone with a Dark Mark to go near the house. I tried sending him letters, and presents, but they would be sent back to me, unopened. I tried,” Severus growled, “And yes, I thought we were becoming friends in our fifth year also. I thought you were growing up, coming out of your shell, that you were taking your prefect duties seriously and stopping your friends whenever they tried to prank me in your presence. But then there was that delightful prank by the lake at the end of the year. Do you remember? Do you remember standing there and watching, laughing, as they did what they did? Not doing anything to stop them? To punish them?”

“You called Lily a Mudblood,” Lupin said sharply.

“I didn’t mean it. It was an accident. I was angry. I was scared. I was exhausted. I was upset. I was being humiliated in front of thirty fucking students. I was grieving. I was being abused by my own housemates, by you and your friends, by the entire school. I’m sorry I lashed out. I didn’t mean it. Not that she ever believed me. Because I’m a Slytherin, right? I’m evil. I came to school knowing more dark curses than even the Death Eater children knew, according to your friend anyway. Sure, that is definitely true , I am a half-blood after all. So much more knowledge available to me when my mother can’t use her own magic, and my father is a muggle drunk who liked to abuse us. I didn’t… I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t. But it doesn’t matter, does it? Because I thought that you were coming to see me for who I really am. I thought Lily already knew who I really was. And yet you both turned on me because of a mistake I made, that I didn’t mean, I could never mean it. You both either let me be hurt in that way, watched along with laughs and sneers, or you didn’t believe me. You also stuck with your friend when he tried to kill me via you the following year. Even though, should I have actually been hurt that night, you would have been killed by the Ministry because of it. But no, you still couldn’t abandon them. Him. So, I think I have every right to not need you right now, to not want you in mine or my son’s life. Because I can’t deal with that, with you, right now,”

Severus turned and stalked away, feeling both angry and frustrated because of the tears that threatened to spill. Fuck Lupin. Fuck hormones. Fuck Dumbledore. Fuck life.

Fuck everything.

Thankfully he was able to pull himself together by the time he arrived outside the Hall.

“Mum, are you okay? I… Did my dad hurt you? I’m sorry, really really sorry,” Harry said nervously as Severus took a shaky breath.

“I will be, Harry. And it isn’t your fault. Nothing is your fault,” Severus said gently back as he took a fortifying breath and stepped into the almost full Great Hall.

And, of course, the first thing he wanted to do was to turn around and stalk back to his quarters as the Hall quietened to an almost deafening level, and everyone turned to look at him with varying looks on their faces.

And then Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger were suddenly directly in front of him and looking at his stomach with wide eyes.

“Harry, if you can hear us there’s no need to worry. We’ll get you out of and away from the Dungeon Bat as soon as we can. We promise,” Ron practically shouted, leaning in close to Severus as if that would make Harry hear him more.

It did but Ronald didn’t need to know about it, or about the pain those words caused both Severus and Harry as Severus’ hand covered his stomach protectively and moved away from the two cretins.

“What did you just say, Mister Weasley?” Severus said sharply.

The youngest male of the family froze and looked up at the dark haired man with wide eyes.

“Well, it’s not as if you’ll want him, sir. We all know how much you hate him. Harry needs to be with people who love him. He needs to be with family,” Ronald said defiantly, glaring at Severus.

“I’ll have you know, Mister Weasley, that I don’t hate him. I don’t hate any student in this school. I have had to pretend I do, yes, but I don’t. I was a spy, you see. I was spying on the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters for the Headmaster. I have been doing so since I left school myself. And as a result the Headmaster forced me to pretend to hate certain students, even as I protected you all as much as I could. But, since I am now the mother of Harry, it is a bit hard for me to spy on the ones who want him dead, isn’t it? As a result, I am no longer a spy. And I can now be my true self, rather than pretending to hate you all,” Severus said calmly, eyebrow raised as he stared down at the children in front of him, “And if anyone, even you and Miss Granger, even thinks about taking my sons from me, in any way, then know that there will be nothing I won’t do in order to get them back,”

He glanced up at Dumbledore to find the man looking at him with confusion.

“Sons, Severus? I thought it was just Harry you had… become pregnant with,” Dumbledore said, clearly trying to remain calm.

“Indeed,” Severus said, “But yesterday I had the pleasure of adopting a student who was being abused by their family,”

“Oh,” Dumbledore said in surprise, raising an eyebrow of his own, “And who would that be?”

“Me,” Neville said from behind Severus.

Severus turned around as everyone gasped and smiled at his son and the Weasley twins who were flanking him.

“Hi, mum, how are you feeling?” Neville asked kindly, smiling back at Severus, whose heart skipped a beat at the word, “I have been reading up on bearer pregnancies with the twins since we got back yesterday and it says you might be feeling some morning sickness at the moment, but that it could be at any time of the day, not necessarily in the mornings. Are you okay?” he said as everyone continued to stare at them in shock, not that either of them cared anymore.

They finally had a family.

Then Neville showed him the book in his hands, turning it to the page describing week eight of the pregnancy, “And this is what Harry looks like right now. And he is approximately the size of a raspberry. Isn’t that awesome? Do you feel anything? Does it feel different? It says in here that he may be moving around a lot but you won’t be able to feel it yet. But does it feel different?” Neville sounded so excited as he seemed to forget that there was a Hall full of people staring at them.

“First of all, I am okay, thank you for asking. Yes, I have been having some morning sickness, but it is manageable, and I don’t mind it all that much. Yes, it is awesome,” really he was in awe of what his baby boy was meant to look like at that stage, and that he was the size of a raspberry, “I feel, different, but it is… I can’t really describe how I feel. It isn’t unpleasant, though,”

“Cool,” Neville beamed, “Did you and Kingsley have a nice chat yesterday?”

Severus blushed lightly, though he shook his head fondly at the mischief in his son’s eyes.

“Yes, we had a lovely chat. I will tell you all about it tonight, after dinner. Come down to our quarters and I will also show you your bedroom, which we can go and get things for on the weekend if you would like to,” Severus said gently.

“Brilliant,” Neville nodded excitedly, “I’ll see you then. Have a good day!” Then Neville realised all the people looking at them and blinked nervously before huffing out a laugh and leading the twins over to Gryffindor’s table.

Severus smiled, ignoring everyone else in the room as he moved to sit at the head table and picked some food for himself.

“Severus, what have you done?” he heard Dumbledore mutter from a few seats away, but he didn’t answer.

He just wanted to eat, teach his classes, then spend some time with his son.

“Leave him alone, Albus. He is young, he is allowed to find himself happiness, a family. He is allowed to be free. Let him,” Pomona said fiercely from her seat to Severus’ left.

“Yes, Albus. This should be a momentous moment. Our youngest member of staff is having a baby, and has adopted another child, we should be helping him, supporting him, not questioning him or attempting to discourage it. Or getting a couple of students to threaten to take his baby away from him,” Filius said, just as fiercely, from Severus’ right, “I know you have your games to play, Albus, and I know how you have used and hurt Severus over the years. But leave him alone. He saved Harry’s life and is now Harry’s mother. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with him adopting Neville if the boy was being abused. They all deserve love, family, and happiness. And we, as his colleagues and friends, should be supporting them. They don’t deserve to be used by you in this stupid war that you keep dragging everyone into,”

It was silent at the staff table after that. And Severus left as soon as he had eaten his fill, making his way to his classroom as quickly as possible. And he waited with almost baited breath as his first set of students soon started to file into the room, all looking rather nervous as they took their seats, looking at him with many questions on their faces.

He sighed as they all fell silent, waiting for the class to begin.

“First of all, I would like to say sorry,” there were gasps as they all looked at him with shock in their young eyes, “I’m sorry for how I have treated you all through the years. There are a number of reasons for me doing so, though it mostly stems from the line in my contract that states I must be unfair and unkind to the students, especially those most likely to be targeted by the Dark Lord and his followers. I tried to get the Headmaster to not put it in there, to actually make the opposite statement in my contract, but he refused. It’s all for the ‘greater good’. Though, it did say that I can change my attitude in exceptional circumstances. I think this is rather exceptional, and I will be working with some friends of mine to get my contract changed, I have tried to do so throughout the years, but I have more reasons for it now, and hopefully those reasons will help us make it stick,

“I am sure you all have many questions. Some of you may not know much about bearers, or about how I have been secretly helping abused children through the years. I am not going to answer everything, though if you do have questions I will answer what I can, what I want to answer, but it mustn’t be during class. Potions are dangerous. One slightest distraction, mistake, accident, anything, can have major consequences that could lead to injury or death. So if you have questions, wait until the end of class, or an evening, or weekend, to come to me. I will help you in any way you need. But if you only want to ask about my pregnancy, what happened to lead to it, or my private life, know that I might not answer everything. It is just that. Private. But I will help you if you need it. With school work, with home life, with friendships, with anything I can help with. If you don’t feel safe, you can come to me,

“But please know that I do not hate any of you. I have never hated any of you. I care about you all a great deal, and have been protecting you from things you know nothing about since the moment you stepped foot into this castle. I am a bearer. I am magically powerful. And I was born with an innate urge to be a mother, to protect, love and care for children, whether my own or not. I was born with a womb. I believe the muggles would call me intersex, though I am a man, just with an added extra that adapts very quickly when I become pregnant. There are books on bearers in the library if you want to read up on it some more, and if you have any questions, especially if you are one, then feel free to ask me when I am not trying to teach you. Know that I will continue to protect you all to the best of my abilities, that you can come to me for anything, at any time, and I will help you, and that things will be different from now on,” he said, his voice both gentle and strong as he looked through the students in the class who looked at him with wide eyes full of hope.

“Also know that the Dark Lord isn’t dead, not fully,” he breathed out painfully, but they needed to know, they had every right to know, “And know that there are people who will want to drag you into the war that will come when he finally manages it. He has almost succeeded twice already, in the past two years. But know that I will do everything I can to make sure all of you are safe, and as far away from the mess as possible. You have no place in any of this, and people shouldn’t be using you to fight a war for them, no matter who they are, how good at magic you might be, no matter what. If you don’t want to fight, then you shouldn’t. And you won’t,”

They all looked terrified, but they needed to know. They deserved to know. To prepare themselves mentally for what was to come. One day.

“Let’s get on with the class, then, shall we?” he smiled gently at them, shocking them all out of their dazes, and he chuckled a little at their looks, “Today we shall be going over the basics of potion making,”

The rest of his classes that day were similar. All the students were too wary to do much of anything whilst he said his apologies. And when he entered the Great Hall for dinner everyone just kept chattering away, although there were some glances in his direction.

“You’re really doing this, Severus? You’re really giving up everything we have worked so hard for?” Dumbledore said quietly as Severus took his seat in his usual one, two seats away from the man.

“For my children, and for the rest of the children in this school, in this country, I would do anything. I just haven’t before now because I hadn’t a reason to give up spying for you. Now I do,” Severus said gently as he helped himself to some food.

“You don’t have to give up spying, Severus. When Harry is born you can hand him over to me and I will put him with a good family. And Neville can go back to-”

“No!” Severus snarled sharply, “Your version of a good family is one that abuses Harry. I am not letting my son be abused just because you think you can use him for your stupid bloody war. Or do you not recall the list of injuries Harry has sustained over the years at the hands of his relatives? You know, the report that you had Poppy do the first time he was in the hospital wing? The one you made her vow not to speak a word of? And I recall I said this morning that the boy I adopted was abused also. I am not sending Neville back to his abusers after the work I did to get him away from them,”

“I’m sure Augusta did nothing of the sort, Severus,” Dumbledore said.

“Hmm, I guess we shall see about that when we release his medical report, and his interview with the goblins, shall we? When we punish those wretched people who dared to hurt him as they did.” Severus said, glaring at the old man.

“Now, my boy, there is no need to be so hasty,”

“I am not your boy. And I am not giving up my sons to you, or anyone else, not for anything. If you want a spy, find yourself another one, preferably not a student, but a fully consenting adult,”

“You are going to be giving birth in the castle,” Dumbledore muttered so quietly that Severus almost didn’t hear it.

Almost.

He stood, his anger and magic flaring out of him as he glared down at the old man, “Did you just threaten to kidnap my baby?” Severus growled, not caring that the rest of the room was looking at him.

“Severus, I don’t know what you are talking about,” Dumbledore said benignly.

“Oh, you don’t, do you? You just said ‘You are going to be giving birth in the castle’, what else was I supposed to extrapolate from that other than the plan to kidnap my baby after I have given birth to him? Did you not hear me when I said my magic had changed his magic and DNA so that I am his mother now? Not just the person who happens to be carrying him in my womb? I knew you would plan something, but to kidnap my child, you would really stoop that far,” Severus scoffed, “Of course you would. Anything for your ‘greater bloody good’, right? In any case, I had actually planned, over the weekend, to give birth elsewhere. With my family,”

“You don’t have any family,” Dumbledore said, and Severus glared at him.

“Fuck off. You know nothing about me, Headmaster. You know nothing of my life outside of my positions here. You know nothing of my family. Yes, my parents are dead, my biological family, apart from my son, is dead. But my found family are alive and well. And I shall be giving birth with them at my side. Somewhere far away from this bloody castle. Somewhere safe. And if you even think of taking my baby away from me, either of them, I will use everything I learned as your spy against you, until I get them back. If you do anything to try and stop me from leaving this castle, then know that I have people on the outside that will do literally anything for me, and when I say literally, I do mean literally. Especially if you are threatening to take my children from me,”

“Severus, we need you to spy for us. So that we can keep the children safe. So that we can keep Harry and Neville safe. So that we can get rid of Tom for good. We can’t do those things if you are too busy playing at being a mum,” Dumbledore all but snarled.

“Fuck you,” Severus said, but before he could say anything else he felt a gentle hand on the small of his back and turned to find Kingsley looking at him worriedly.

“Are you alright, Sev?” Kingsley asked, his eyes full of concern.

“Ah, Kingsley, how long have you been here?” Dumbledore said nervously as he looked between the two standing men.

“Long enough to know that you threatened to take Harry and Neville away from their mother to make sure he remains a spy for you,” Kingsley growled dangerously at the man, “And, rest assured, should you do anything of the sort, I won’t hesitate to let Severus do whatever he wants to you until he gets his babies back. And I will have the full Auror force waiting for their turn also. You may be popular, old man, but if you even think about hurting Severus, Harry or Neville, in any way, then I will do whatever I can to rip that power from you. Anything. And Severus is very right in saying that he has plans to give birth elsewhere, with the aid of his family. If you do anything to trap him in the castle, however, know that I will bring many people with me as I fight to have him released from you. You really don’t want to know how many people I am talking about, but know that it is a lot and that they are all very powerful,”

Dumbledore looked like he didn’t believe him, or like he didn’t care so long as things worked out for his ‘greater good’ and he probably didn’t. The man was too old. Too set in his ways. He didn’t think that other people would and could fight him. That they could or would go against him.

“Come, Sev, let’s get you back to your rooms where you can relax. All this stress isn’t good for you or the baby,” Kingsley said gently, turning his full focus back to Severus and taking his pale, somewhat shaking hand in his own, twining their fingers together as they headed back down the hall, with Neville joining them at the door, a smile on his face bellowing the anger and pain in his young eyes as he glanced back at the Headmaster.

Soon, though, they were back in Severus’ rooms and the pale man breathed shakily as he sunk into the sofa. Kingsley and Neville sat on either side of him, looking at him worriedly.

“Sev, are you alright? Do you need anything? If you want I can take you and Neville home with me, and you can stay there until Harry is born, or until you feel safe enough to come back,”

“Kingsley, as much as I appreciate the offer, I can’t,” Severus said tiredly, “I can’t leave them. The students. Someone needs to protect them from his schemes. From the Dark Lord. From Black. From everyone else. My magic doesn’t like the thought of leaving them,” he chuckled dryly, “If he doesn’t understand by now what a mother’s love can do, then he clearly has just been sprouting shit this whole time, right? I’ll be fine,” he whispered the last part unsurely.

Merlin, what would it take for him to finally be safe?

“Okay,” Kingsley nodded in understanding, “But…” it was Kingsley’s turn to be unsure.

“But what?” Severus said gently, raising an eyebrow.

“No, it was nothing, don’t worry about it,” Kingsley said, looking nervously at his lap.

“Clearly it was something,” Severus muttered.

“I… I was just going to say that… I was… Look, I know… I know that we only agreed to give this, give us a try last night. I know it’s spectacularly too soon for anything like this, but I worry. I worry about you, Neville, Harry. I have been worrying all day. But… If you don’t mind, Sev, I would like to move in with you. Especially after what just happened. I know we will both be working during the day, but I will feel better knowing that I can keep you safe during the night. And we can still take this as slow as you want to, I can sleep on the sofa if that makes you more comfortable. But… Merlin, Sev, I don’t want anything to happen to you, to any of you, and I want to protect you all as much as I can. Even if it means sleeping on your sofa for a while to help you, and look after you, and make sure you are all okay. We’re playing a dangerous game, here, and you’re pregnant, and I want to look after you and keep you safe. Or as safe as I can,

“I mean, I might not know much about pregnancy, but I know it can be uncomfortable, especially towards the end. And I want to look after you through all of that. I want to go to appointments with Healer Greyclaw with you. I want to rub your feet when they get sore. I want to massage your back, and take some of the weight off you for a bit. I want to find you whatever you crave. I want to feel Harry move and kick inside you. I want to hold your hand. And I want to be able to take you straight to the Bank as soon as you go into labour. I want to be there for it all. I want to get to know Neville. I want to take you both out once in a while. I want to build a nursery with you, both here and wherever we will make our home during the holidays. And I want to keep you all safe whilst that bumbling idiot of a man is still within these walls. So I would like to move in with you, Severus. Even if it means sleeping on the sofa for a while. But only if that is okay with you,” Kingsley said passionately as he looked at a shocked Severus whilst ignoring the blush that was rising on his face and a beaming Neville who was glancing between them both in excitement.

“I… erm…” Severus said, heat rushing to his pale skin as he tried to get over the shock and awe the words left him feeling, and the butterflies fluttering in his heart and stomach, “I… Okay. You can move in with me,” he whispered nervously.

He knew he probably shouldn’t agree. It was far too soon in their relationship for something like this. Yes, they had been best friends for years now, they knew almost everything about each other. But this whole new series of their relationship was… well, it was new. And Severus hadn’t had much luck with love before.

But he wasn’t safe in this castle. Not with Dumbledore. His babies weren’t safe. The students weren’t safe. No one was safe.

But Kingsley felt safe. He made Severus feel safe. He made Severus feel loved and cared for in ways that no one else had before. And he knew, despite hating that he had to admit it to himself, that he would need help. That he and his children would need protection. And maybe, just maybe, having Kingsley around would keep them safe.

Or safer at any rate.

Dumbledore wouldn’t dare do anything with an Auror on the grounds, would he? Or Black?

He hoped so, anyway.

“Really?” Kingsley said, his eyes lighting up in hope and awe, and other things that made Severus feel both funny and amazing.

“Really,” Severus nodded, smiling slightly as Kingsley gave him a gentle kiss that sent warmth and butterflies through him again.

“Thank you,” Kingsley breathed, before practically bouncing off the sofa and over to the fireplace, “I’ll be back soon, I just need to pack up my stuff,”

Then the man was gone in the green flames and Neville chuckled happily, leaning into Severus.

“Are you okay, mum?” Neville asked gently.

“Hm,” Severus hummed, his heart elated at hearing the word again, “I’ll be fine, I think,”

“Try not to worry, too much. Harry and I won’t be going anywhere, ever,” Neville said.

“I will always worry. And I really do hope that you and Harry won’t be going anywhere away from me,” Severus sighed, rubbing his still flat stomach gently as he wrapped an arm around Neville’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

Merlin, he hoped they would all be okay.

But Severus just couldn’t help but feel like everything was going to go wrong.

Kingsley arrived back at Severus’ quarters about ten minutes after Neville had gone to bed. During which time Severus had transfigured the sofa into a bed for Kingsley, with blankets and pillows. Kingsley smiled at Severus as soon as he saw him, which made Severus blush, though he tried to hide it behind his hair.

“Has Neville gone to bed?” Kingsley asked as he placed his bag at the foot of the newly made bed for him.

“Yes,” Severus said softly, “On the weekend I said we would take him shopping for things for his rooms, and whatever else he wants. We also need to get him a new wand, one that actually chooses him,”

“Sounds perfect,” Kingsley said as he wrapped his arms around Severus’ waist and pulled him gently close, “Maybe we can start buying some things for Harry, too, if you want to,”

“Hm,” Severus hummed as he wrapped his arms around Kingsley’s neck, still blushing somewhat at the look in the darker man’s eyes, “We’ll see,”

As much as Severus hated to admit it to himself, he was worried. Terrified even. His body wasn’t exactly in the prime condition for a pregnancy, after years of abuse and torture, and although he tried to be healthy he had honestly never had a reason to be before, and often times would forget to eat, or sleep, or whatever. Because nobody cared, and neither did he. Plus with Dumbledore, Sirius Black, the Dark Lord, and literally everyone else, anything could happen. And he was only eight and a bit weeks pregnant.

As much as he hated to admit it, anything could happen. Everyone was acting as if Harry was going to make it to the end of the pregnancy, that Severus’ body could handle it, that Harry could. Without taking into account any external pressures also. Such as the stress that everyone causes him. The dementors around the school. The serial killer on the loose.

And as much as he cherished the optimism, he also hated it. Because anything could happen. Pregnancies were fragile enough as is without everything else that was going on in the vicinity. With his body. With everything.

He would try, of course. He would do whatever he could to see this pregnancy through safely. But he was bloody terrified all the same. And he didn’t think that fear would dissipate, at least, not until he was, hopefully, holding Harry in his arms.

His thoughts were interrupted by warm lips on his own and pleasant shivers running through his body. Soon though the warmth disappeared, mostly, as Kingsley pulled away enough to rest his forehead against Severus’.

“Are you okay, Sev?” Kingsley said gently.

“I will be,” Severus whispered.

“But you’re not now,” Kingsley said, concern in his voice.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been okay,” Severus chuckled darkly, “But, maybe, I can be, one day. I just… I just need time,” and so much more but Severus was never one to reveal what he needed, or wanted, because no one had really cared before.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” Severus said softly.

“It’s okay to be scared, Sev. It’s okay to not be okay. But I am here for you, no matter what. Whatever you need, or want, whatever, I will be here through it all, to provide it all, I promise,” Kingsley said, rubbing the small of Severus’ back gently.

“I know,” Severus replied, and he did know that Kingsley would be there for him, logically, but it was still difficult, “Goodnight, Kingsley,”

Severus reached up to kiss the corner of Kingsley’s lips and pulled away, heading towards his bedroom with as much grace as he could muster.

“Goodnight, Sev,” Kingsley said, and Severus looked back at him with a little smile as he closed his bedroom door.



…



Severus was purging himself of the contents of his stomach into the toilet when he heard the door open and felt the presence of two people kneeling next to him. He felt hands gently pulling back his hair, and smaller hands rubbing his lower back in support and comfort, and as much as he wanted to complain, to tell them to leave because they didn’t deserve to see him like this, he couldn’t muster the energy, or the will to do so.

When he was done he collapsed back so he was sitting against the wall, eyes closed as he took deep, shaky breaths, and he felt a damp, cool flannel on his forehead, then another was being wiped softly around his neck, and a potion vial was pressed against his lips and he knew from the smell that it was his morning sickness reliever, and he guzzled it down gratefully before opening his eyes and looking at his… at his family, who were smiling at him comfortingly.

He really ought to start keeping a stash of those potions by his bed. But Merlin there was too much going on at that moment in time for him to remember to do so.

“How are you feeling, Sev? Do you need anything? I can get a house elf to get you something to snack on, or some tea, ginger ale, or something to help soothe your stomach some more,” Kingsley said.

“Some ginger ale sounds amazing right now,” Severus muttered gratefully as he stood shakily from his spot on the floor and made his way to the sink to clean up.

“Okay, I’ll go and order some from the kitchen for you. Maybe a stash of it to keep in our kitchenette,” Kingsley said.

“Thank you,” Severus sighed as Kingsley left the room.

“Are you okay, mum?” Neville asked worriedly.

“Yes, Neville, I’m fine,” Severus said, smiling slightly at his son in the mirror, and although he loved hearing the word from his son he also couldn’t help but worry now that everything had caught up to him, “I… You know you don’t have to call me ‘mum’ if you don’t want to, or aren’t ready to, right? I don’t want to pressure you into anything, and if I did, I’m sorry-”

“Mum, you didn’t pressure me into anything, I promise. I know I don’t have to call you mum if I don’t want to or am not ready to, you told me so when you adopted me. I call you ‘mum’ because I want to. Because I’ve always wanted a mum, and I know that I’ll never really get to know my birth mum, and she’ll never really get to know me. I mean, I know even you have tried to cure them, and if you couldn’t find anything, and you are the best and youngest Potion’s Master in the whole of Europe, then there is probably no chance of them ever being cured. And even if they were, it wouldn’t be the same, right? Because of how much time has passed, how much we’ve all missed. I mean, yes, they are still my parents, and I love them, but… I don’t know really, if they ever were cured then I would always be worrying about everything gran and the rest of the family dumped on me. Worried that they wouldn’t like me, or would believe in gran and everyone else instead of me,” Neville said, pain and worry in his eyes that tore at Severus’ heart.

“Neville, I may not have known them well, but your parents loved you more than anything else in the universe. I am sure they would be firmly on your side, and be rather angry at your grandmother and the rest of the family for what they did to you,” Severus said, and Neville smiled at him sadly.

“I know they loved me when I was a baby. But everything’s different now. And what if… what if, even if they are cured, they aren’t the same as they used to be? What if everything changed them? I… As much as I hate to say it, because I really do love them, and everything, I just… If they were cured, I don’t think I could go with them. Even if you and Kingsley hadn’t adopted me, I don’t think I could have done it. I think I would have been too bloody scared all the time that, even if everything started really well, that the other shoe would drop and they would start treating me like gran and the others. Or that they would just hate me, or something. And I can’t… I hated living with gran because I was always scared that they would do something to me, and I can’t keep living like that. But I would be scared, and I hate that I would be scared of my own parents, the ones that were tortured to protect me, but I would be. And it kills me, but it’s true. I mean, I would visit them, I guess, like I do now, but I… I couldn’t live with them,” Neville said, looking down at the floor, and Severus pulled the boy into his arms gently, holding him as he tried to control the anger he felt building at his son’s biological family for making him scared of his own actual parents.

The way Neville melted into his arms made Severus’ heart soar, even despite the pain.

“When do you want to go and visit your parents?” Severus said after a few moments of not knowing what to say, “We can go on Saturday if you would like, when we go shopping, and to the Bank, and remember to get you a new wand,”

“O-okay, if we have time,” Neville said softly, “Thanks, mum,”

“I haven’t done anything,” Severus said, confused.

“You have done plenty. More than anyone but my birth parents have done for me. And I thank you for it all. I love you,” Neville said, pulling back with a grin.

“I-I love you, too,” Severus said, awe in his eyes as he looked at his son.

“I’ll leave you to get ready now,” Severus nodded and Neville left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Severus took a shaky breath and turned back to the sink to continue getting ready.

“I’m sorry for making you sick again, mummy,” Harry said softly from inside him and Severus’ lips tugged up slightly.

“It’s fine, Harry. You don’t need to apologise. I don’t mind,” Severus said back.

“But you shouldn’t be sick because of me,”

“Harry, baby, I’ve been sick for a lot worse reasons than my own child. I am fine. You are fine. And that is all that matters. I am happy to be sick for you. You are a good reason for sickness. And I love you, okay, no matter what. You are worth all of this and more, and I will gladly accept anything that comes before I get to hold you in my arms, and even after that, so long as you are okay,” Severus said as he moved into his bedroom, smiling slightly at the mug of ginger ale sitting on his bedside table, which he started sipping on, grateful when it successfully got rid of the last of the sensitivity in his stomach.

“I love you, too,” Harry breathed, and Severus stopped in awe as his hand went to his stomach and rubbed gently, his smile brightening slightly at the words.

Soon he was exiting his room, dressed and somewhat ready for the day ahead. He saw Kingsley and Neville waiting for him on the sofa, which had been transfigured back into its original form, both also ready.

“I figured I would accompany you both to breakfast if that is okay?” Kingsley said, smiling at Severus when he saw him.

“That is more than okay,” Severus said, relieved that he would have a buffer of sorts there with him.

There was a gentle knock on the door and Severus sighed before going to open it, shocked to find Draco on the other side.

“Hi, Uncle Sev, how are you this morning?” Draco said as Severus let him in.

“Hello, Draco. I’m okay, thank you. How are you?” Severus said, noticing that Neville was fidgeting nervously on the sofa and giving his son a warm smile which was eagerly reciprocated.

Draco looked in shock at Kingsley briefly, then turned to Severus with a questioning eyebrow raised.

“Uncle Sev, there is a strange man in your rooms, really early in the morning,” Draco said suggestively, and Severus blushed slightly.

“Indeed there is. Is there a reason you came to see me, Draco? We were just about to head to breakfast,” Severus said, raising an eyebrow at his godson.

“Aw, am I not welcome here anymore?” Draco pouted jokingly.

“Of course you are, but it is a school day, and we all have places to be shortly, so what did you come to see me for?” Severus said, a smirk on his face.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I wrote to mother and father about your pregnancy,” Severus’ eyes widened fractionally, “And they got back to me this morning to tell me to tell you that they support you and Harry, in every way. If you need anything at all, they will help you. And they expect you around the Manor for dinner on Sunday. Just you, I haven’t told them about Neville yet, but I will do so, and about your mystery man, and then the next time they can come over to. I am sure they will be very understanding about the situation once you tell them everything. Also, it was Pansy that threw the ingredient into Harry and Neville’s cauldron. I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen to me. But yeah, I thought you should know,”

Anger filled Severus at the thought of the youngest Parkinson being the one to throw that bloody ingredient.

“Do you know what she threw into the potion? And how much of it?” Severus asked dangerously.

“I’m not completely sure, no. You will have to ask her when you speak to her,” Draco said.

“Okay. Thank you for informing me, Draco. You may tell your parents that I will be around for dinner on Sunday, supposing nothing else comes up. Now, can we go to breakfast?” Severus said, and the other three nodded, allowing him to lead the way out of the rooms and down the corridors.

Upon arriving at the Great Hall they were, again, met with silence, especially as people looked at Kingsley and wondered what he was doing with the group. Neville and Draco said their goodbyes and went to their respective tables. Severus took a shaky breath as he noticed Dumbledore’s piercing stare on him, and he was grateful when Kingsley slid his fingers through Severus’ and squeezed comfortingly, not letting go until they sat in their chairs, somewhat surprised that the Castle had apparently supplied an extra one for Kingsley to sit in.

“Kingsley, my boy, what a surprise. What are you doing here? And would you happen to know why the Castle has deemed fit to supply you with a chair at our dining table,” Dumbledore asked, and although he attempted to be kind, and curious, there was definitely a hard edge to his voice, and eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know, sir. It might have to do with me moving into the Castle last night so that I can be with my partner and our sons during Sev’s pregnancy,” Kingsley said, and Severus blushed, hiding amongst his hair as he started to eat his food, and the rest of the school turned to look at them in shock.

“I didn’t realise you and Severus were dating,” Dumbledore said in shock.

“Well, we are,” Kingsley said sternly before he turned to his own plate of food and started eating, looking at Severus in concern briefly.

“And how do you feel about Severus being pregnant with Harry Potter, intending to raise him, and adopting Neville?” Dumbledore said.

“Did you not hear me say ‘our sons’, old man?” Kingsley practically growled, “I also adopted Neville, so there is no problem there. And in regards to Harry, I also have no issues. He may not be my son through blood, but I love him, and Neville, nonetheless. And I will support and love Severus no matter what through his pregnancy. We can have more children in a few years if we would like to. Heck, we could blood adopt Neville, and I could blood adopt Harry, if everyone was okay with that. But no matter what happens, sir , they are my sons, and Severus is my partner. And if you dare to even think about doing something to tear apart my family I will not hesitate before bringing down the entire force of the law, and everything else I can bring on you. And I will be here at every meal I can be, to watch over my family and keep them safe from you and everyone else that has a problem with this. Now, can we eat in peace, please? The children, and my partner, need sustenance before their classes begin,” Kingsley glared at the old man before turning back to his food and promptly ignoring him.

“Right then, I’ll be off to work. Sev, if you need anything don’t hesitate to send an elf or something to get me. I will come straight away. Hopefully I’ll be able to come back for lunch, but if not then I will see you at dinner. I shall see you later,” Kingsley said when he had finished his meal, gently kissing Severus on his pale cheek and squeezing his arm comfortingly.

“See you later,” Severus breathed, his stomach fluttering slightly as warmth spread through him.

“I love you, Sev,” Kingsley whispered into his ear, and Severus’ heart stuttered at the words, “It’s okay if you can’t say it back yet, I can wait for you to be ready. And I’m sorry if I’m going too fast for you, you can tell me to slow down if you want, and if you want me to not say those words again until you are ready then that is okay, too. But I want you to know that you aren’t alone, that you have a family now that you can turn to to help with whatever you need help with, and to look after and protect you, to cherish you. And we will do those things. But I’ll see you later, and we can talk, or whatever you want,” Kingsley kissed the still shocked man’s lips gently and then he was walking down the hall to looks of shock from many of the students, even more as he stopped behind Neville to kiss his hair and speak to him for a minute or so before he was finally gone, Severus’ heart still stuttering in shock, and awe, and… something.

Severus stood from his own spot and made his way to the staff’s exit from the Hall, making his way to his classroom earlier than he usually did, but he needed to attempt to control himself and the new, and confusing feelings he was experiencing before his first class arrived.

Although he was rather unsure on how to do that.

“Miss Parkinson, thank you for joining me,” Severus said, smirking darkly at the girl who stood nervously in front of his desk. It was Friday evening and he was overseeing her detention for daring to throw an object into Harry and Neville’s cauldron, “Please, take a seat,” he said, gesturing to the hard wooden chair which she sat in.
“Now, would you mind telling me what you threw into Harry and Neville’s cauldron, and why?” he said, his voice dangerously low.
She stayed silent, her face becoming impassive.
“No. Okay. I may be going out of the castle tomorrow, but I am very happy to stay here all night, or until you answer my questions. I told everyone at the beginning of the class to not throw anything into another cauldron. To not verge from the recipe. I told you all that any mistake or tampering could be fatal. You would think that a thirteen year old would understand that. That a thirteen year old would know right, from wrong, and be able to focus on something so dangerous. I have never had an accident on such a scale in this class before. And to think that it is because one of my own students wanted to ruin someone else’s potion-”
“Everyone is alive, aren’t they?” she spat.
“Just. Harry was going to die. He would have died had I not been near enough to him for my bearer magic to kick in. And if he had died, you would be expelled, with your wand snapped, at the very least. But now it is up to me to decide what to do with you, and in order for me to do that I need to know why you did it. Was it just meant to be a stupid little prank? Or did you intend to harm two students in my class to the point where they, and others, including myself and yourself, could have died?” he was stern, his eyes glaring darkly at her as she stared just as darkly back.
And all he got was silence.
“Look, Pansy, you’re a smart girl. I know you have the brains to listen to your teachers, and the brains to make a decent potion. You know that when I tell you something is dangerous, then you shouldn’t do it. I know you don’t particularly like me. I know it’s not your fault, really, your parents have raised you in a certain way, to believe certain things. But whether or not you like me doesn’t matter, I am your teacher. I am the Potion’s Master of this school, the youngest Potion’s Master Europe has seen in decades. You may not like me, but you should still respect me enough to listen to my warnings. So why? Why did you do something that almost led to the death of one of your classmates?” he was dangerously quiet throughout his speech, his eyes darker than usual, an eyebrow raised as he stared at her.
She smirked at him, “Maybe I wanted to kill him, both of them,”
His eyes widened fractionally, “Why?”
“From what I’ve heard, the Dark Lord has almost come back to life two times already. It isn’t hard to assume that one day he will succeed. If the two boys he wanted gone are dead then the only major threat to him is Dumbledore, and the old coot is old and frail as is, so he isn’t really much of a threat, is he? And if he finds out that I was the one to dispose of the two boys, well, I myself and my family will rise through the ranks like no other. We will have everything we desire once we have truly taken over. Maybe I should have gotten rid of you, too. Or tried, too. Since you clearly aren’t loyal. You have the perfect opportunity to kill the boy who downed our Lord, and you aren’t taking it. You also have the perfect opportunity to kill the other boy the Prophecy spoke of, now that he trusts you, and you aren’t going to take that, either,” she raised her own eyebrow at him, smirking in triumph.
“Did it ever occur to you, Miss Parkinson, that this is also the perfect opportunity to make sure the boys who were prophesied to kill the Dark Lord, won’t kill him? To convert them to his side? To turn them away from the Light so that two children don’t have to die for the cause to succeed. The Dark Lord always hated killing children, when he was sane. You would know that if you actually listened to any of the talk going through the circles your parents have you involved in,
“However, there is more to life than the Dark Lord. Things that are a lot more important. You can’t do anything for him if you don’t have a wand, and if you had succeeded in your attempt you wouldn’t have one. But the fact that you have just admitted to me that you tried to actively kill my sons… Do you know the power of bearers? Especially angry ones?”
“You can’t do anything to me,” she said, crossing her arms.
“Hm, maybe. But I can put you in detention for the rest of the year. I can give you the most horrible of tasks to do, without the aid of magic since you so carelessly risked being able to use your magic. Or I can suspend you, for the rest of the year. Then you can come back next September, hopefully having thought things through, to re-do your third year. I would expel you outright, I mean attempted murder is an outrageous actual crime. But you are a child, and I think that, given the opportunity to learn about the world as it truly is, all of the world, and everyone in it, you could benefit greatly. You’re a smart kid, when you try and use that brain of yours, and I would hate to see you waste that talent because you are being forced into something bigger than you, something more than what you, and any other child in this country, deserves,” Severus said sincerely.
“I’m not being forced,” she said fiercely, and yet he could see something in her eyes.
“You are a child. You have no place in the inevitable war. None of the students in this school do. Not even Harry and Neville. And yet people, be it your own family, or the other staff members in this place, are going to try and drag you in. They already are trying to drag you in. But I am not going to let that happen anymore. I am going to work with all of the students so that they know they don’t have to do this. I want to keep you all safe. But I can’t do that if you pull stunts like this. You are thirteen years old. The only things you have to do are your school work, making friends; proper friends, ones who will always have your back, ones who care for you; and figuring out the things you enjoy, the things you want to do in your life,
“If people are trying to drag you in, that is their problem, not yours, but I am going to do whatever I can to keep you out of it, so long as you let me help you. And I can only do that if you are here. So, take the detentions, I can promise you that they won’t all be terrible, but I will be using them as an opportunity to teach you. First of all about the people of this world, about magic, about our past. Secondly, self-defence, both magical and muggle self-defence. You aren’t the only one who will be involved in either of those lessons, but they will happen at the time of some of your detentions. Obviously I am unable to physically teach self-defence at the moment, but I have others who will help us. I just… I just need you to trust that I want you safe, that I want all of you safe, and I don’t want us to get to the point of war. Myself and others are working against both sides, we are working to protect the people. I’m not going to drag you into it, but I do want you to know the truth of the world, and how to protect yourself, and others, should it be needed. So let me help you, or I will have to send you home and I don’t want that for you,” he said, again both fierce gentle, somehow.
He was angry, yes. But she was also a child, a child with no choice, no voice but the ones her family forces on her. He wanted to help though, and he would help any of the students that he could.
“You deserve to know all sides of everything. You deserve to know everything that matters. Not just the bits whatever side wants you to know. You deserve to be able to defend yourself and those you care for from whatever comes your way, whether it be something you actually wanted to be a part of or not. And you deserve to be a child. You do not deserve to have to make these kinds of decisions for your family. You do not deserve to have to throw your life away for an organisation that won’t win, the Light or the Dark. Neither of them can win. And neither of them will win. So, again, let me help you with detentions and lessons, and whatever else you need, or I will have to send you away, even if only for the rest of the year. Then there is nothing that I will be able to do,”
She swallowed thickly, “Why should I? If I go against them… They’re my family,”
“I know. I know they’re your family. I know you love them. Or you feel like you’re supposed to. But they have no right to force their own thoughts, and ways, on you. They have no right to drag you into a war when you are still a child. They have no right to hurt you like that. If you fight in a war, for them, and you die, will they truly care? Will they see the error of their ways? Or will they be proud that you died for them and their cause, when you should never have been in that situation in the first place? What if you get injured? Majorly so? Will they care so long as your life has just been drastically altered because you were fighting for them? If you go to Azkaban because you tried killing a student, will they care so long as it is a child they hate for no reasonable reason? You are their only daughter, and they either want you to take the Dark Mark and throw your life away, or marry a rich Pureblooded man and bear as many children as you can. Children that they will force you to force into the same life. What do you want, Pansy? Do you want that life for yourself? For your possible future children, grandchildren? Do you want to remain in this cycle? Or do you want to break it?”
“I want to break it,” she whispered, and he smiled gently at her.
“Good. You will have your detentions every Friday for the rest of the school year. When I am on maternity leave someone else will oversee them, but only someone I trust. The lessons will be once a month unless I say otherwise. At least for now, I have a lot going on at the moment,” he raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded in understanding and acceptance, “Your first proper detention will be next Friday, I am out of the castle tomorrow, and for some of Sunday, but I will be hosting a House meeting on Monday evening, please inform the prefects to have everyone gathered in the common room by eight. It is taking me a lot to do this. You know about bearers and how protective of children we are. You trying to kill two children in my class is making me more angry than I have ever been at a student. And your detentions won’t be pretty. But you are a child, and I know that you have the brains to be a good person, you have the ability to be whatever you want to be. I don’t want you to fall into the wrong crowd. I don’t want you to not have a choice. So I am going to help you. But if you think, for even one second, that you can get away with something like that again, you will be out of this school before you can say the word ‘Hogwarts’, understood?”
“Understood,” she said, nodding again.
“Good. You are free to go,” he said, and then he watched as she left, hoping beyond hope that he had made the right decision.

…

Severus was sitting on his bed, dressed and ready for the day. Physically anyway. Mentally he was… a mess. Though that wasn’t really a difference, there was just more included in the mess now.
Fear.
Worry.
And the tiniest bit of hope that he tried to push down because of the ever present feeling that something was going to go wrong.
His hand went to his stomach again and he contemplated for a moment just laying back down and going to bed. But he had promised Healer Greyclaw he would go to the Bank for an appointment. And he wanted to go. He needed to make sure that everything is okay.
He also needed to get Neville a wand, and things for his room and such. Then they were going to the Hospital so that Neville could see his parents.
But he just wanted to sleep.
Was that so much to ask?
There was a knock on his bedroom door and he sighed as he stood, grateful that his magic had allowed him to adjust the waistband of his trousers as they seemed to be getting tighter despite no visible signs of a bump yet. He opened the door to find Kingsley on the other side with a soft smile tugging at his lips.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kingsley asked gently, his eyes clouded somewhat with worry.
“Yes,” Severus said, “Are you and Neville ready to go?”
“Yeah,” he said softly, still concerned, “Are you sure? You were in there for a while. Were you sick again? Do you need some more ginger ale, or a morning sickness reliever?”
Severus’ lips tugged up slightly in the corners, he couldn’t stop it really, it was weird, and yet amazing, having someone actually care about him and his health. Although part of him was worried that it was just because of the pregnancy, and not actually about him. But, he supposed, he would cross that bridge when he came to it. If he came to it, he tried to hope.
“I’m fine. I was just… thinking. I’ve had a morning sickness reliever already and it seems to be helping, so let’s go before Healer Greyclaw berates us for being late. We have a lot to do today and I would rather not be out for too long given the state of things,” Severus said, smiling at Neville who was sitting nervously on the couch but who quickly smiled back at him.
“Okay,” Kingsley nodded in agreement and they were soon floo’ing to the room they had been told to floo to in the Bank for their appointment. A private medical room that really just looked like a standard, for the Wizarding World anyway, bedroom, but with a few medical instruments here and there, and a small kitchenette, a door leading to a bathroom, and another into the hallway.
Healer Greyclaw and King Ragnok were both waiting in the room for them, the healer seeming quite excited as she saw them and rushed over to gently take Severus’ hand and tug him over to the large bed, covered in its deep blue bedding.
“Get comfortable, love, I want to see my grandbaby,” she said sternly, although there was gentleness in her usually dark eyes that almost had him smiling.
Instead he settled for rolling his eyes and settling himself onto the comfortable bed, Kingsley helping him set some pillows behind his back so he was somewhat elevated. Kingsley and Neville sat next to him on the bed, Kingsley holding his hand gently as the two goblins sat on his other side.
“Undo the buttons of your shirt, Sev, I need access to your stomach,” Healer Greyclaw said, her sternness starting to dissipate some more as Severus slowly undid the buttons of his black shirt and she saw the softness that had started to overtake his usually harsh bones and contours, her eyes lighting up more as she glanced between Severus’ face and his belly, “Good, you’re putting on some weight,”
“Of course I am, I’m pregnant,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
“I know, Sev. But I know you, have done for years. I know you don’t tend to like feeding yourself. I was worried you would still be struggling with that. Especially with the morning sickness,” she said worriedly as she gently pressed her hands against his stomach to make sure that everything felt okay.
“Yes, well,” he said quietly, swallowing thickly, “It’s difficult to remember to eat when there is no reason to,”
“But you are eating now?” she said, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Yes,” he said.
“Good. How is the morning sickness? Any other symptoms?” she said.
Severus shrugged, “It’s okay. I don’t mind it, really. I feel sick in the morning, and sometimes throughout the rest of the day also. But a lot of the time I am able to withhold actually vomiting with the aid of some ginger ale, a morning sickness reliever or, by nibbling on some dry toast or crackers. I am more tired than usual, but not much more so. I have felt lightheaded a few times, but I haven’t passed out from it. I am urinating more frequently. My chest hurts. Heartburn has been an issue a couple of times but is quickly sorted out with a potion. But other than that not much. I feel fine,” other than the constant worry and fear that something, anything, was going to go wrong.
She nodded understandingly, “All completely natural. But if anything starts not feeling right then please do come here as soon as possible. This is your room, by the way, the one you will be giving birth in when the time comes. Supposing you don’t want to make use of the birthing pool or shower in the bathroom,” she was grinning comfortingly but he didn’t feel particularly comforted in that moment.
Why were they preparing for everything so bloody soon? He was only nine weeks and one day pregnant. There was so much that could go wrong still and the thought that they were already preparing for him to give birth mostly stabbed his heart with fear. Though there was still that pesky little piece of him that held hope.
He just nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment as he looked down at his bare stomach, trying not to think about anything that could go wrong, and yet it was the only thing that flooded his mind.
He took a deep breath as Kingsley squeezed his hand comfortingly and he looked up into those deep brown eyes that help warmth, and love, and so much else that Severus had never felt from another person before, not really. And for a brief moment he thought that maybe everything would be okay, at least until his mind conjured more images of what could go wrong with this whole thing.
Though those images were stilled by the sound that filled his ears when a warm burst of magic fluttered over his belly and he looked down to find a golden image of his baby hovering above his stomach and he realised that the sound flooding the room was the sound of Harry’s heartbeat.
His eyes filled with tears of awe, his breathing somewhat shaky as he looked at the image of his baby moving around gently within him. His hand itched to touch his stomach but he stopped himself as he knew that if he did the sound of the strong heartbeat would stop and the image would disappear. And he didn’t want it to end. It couldn’t end, because if it did then the fear would come back. The worry would come back. The images would come back.
His baby was okay.
In this moment his baby was okay.
His body wasn’t failing him.
His magic wasn’t failing him.
And it would all be okay so long as he could keep listening to the heartbeat, and keep looking at that projection of tiny waving arms and legs.
“I’m okay, mummy,” he heard Harry say gently in his head and he struggled not to sob, although he was sure he was crying at that point.
Not that he cared.
His baby was okay.
“Your baby is okay, Sev. You’re okay,” Healer Greyclaw said gently, her voice sounding understanding, and he’s sure there was a look in her eyes, too, but he didn’t move his eyes away from the image, “Your baby is about an inch in size. He is about the size of a green olive. And he is perfectly healthy. Your body is doing very well. You are doing amazing, Sev. And you will continue to do so. I know it. We all know it,” her hand was resting on his arm and she squeezed it gently, comfortingly.
He wanted to believe her. He desperately needed to believe her. But there was just too much going on.
Dumbledore. Black. The Dark Lord. Everything and everyone else.
His body wasn’t healthy. Not really.
He had spent too long focussing on surviving that he hadn’t given a thought to his health. His actual health.
Anything could happen.
Anything could happen.
But for the moment everything was okay.
And maybe he should try to focus on that. It was just too bloody hard to do that at the moment.
He felt a gentle, warm hand on his cheek, gently rubbing away his tears, and his face was turned gently towards Kingsley who looked at him with worried, yet loving eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Severus said softly.
“No, Sev, you have no reason to apologise. This is a stressful time, there is a lot going on and we are all trying to get used to it. But Harry is okay. Neville is okay. Our sons are okay. You are okay. You are doing amazing. I am so proud of you, and I will continue to be proud of you, no matter what. It’s okay to be scared, Sev. It’s okay to not be okay. But we will get through this. All of us. Together. I promise. But right now, we are all okay. And that is all that matters right now. I know it’s hard to think that, to believe that things will be okay, especially after everything else… but please, try and trust in me, and in the rest of us, that we can help you get through this. That we will all do whatever we can to make sure that everything is okay. You are doing amazing, Sev. I just need you to believe in yourself, and the rest of us, a little more. Or at least try to. Because I am not going to let anything happen to you, or our sons, to the absolute best of my ability. No matter what I have to do to ensure your safety, I will do it,” Kingsley said softly, yet there was a determination there also. A fierceness that Severus couldn’t help but believe in at that moment.
“I’ll try,” he found himself whispering.
Kingsley smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Severus’ lips, just a short one, but it helped to quiet Severus’ mind some more and that was good. More than good really.
Then Severus was looking at the image again, focussing on the sound that was still flooding the room, clinging to Kingsley’s hand like it was a lifeline. And perhaps it was.
“I’m going to get you a picture of this, but in order to do that the spell will end. Are you ready for that, love? Or would you like to wait a little longer?” Healer Greyclaw said gently.
His heart almost constricted at the thought of the sound disappearing, but he knew that it would have to stop eventually. They still had things to do, and they couldn’t stay in the room until Harry was safely in their arms… hopefully. No matter how much he might have wanted to.
At least he would have a picture.
And he could always relive the memory at some point.
And he would have appointments every Saturday, so he would be able to hear his little one’s heartbeat again in seven days. Hopefully.
“You can get the picture now,” Severus said, trying to wipe his tears as he watched her cancel the spell, his own heart pounding as the sound disappeared, but he smiled slightly as a picture of the scan popped magically onto the piece of thick, white parchment specifically created for this spell which the healer goblin had placed gently onto his belly.
There wasn’t much more to the appointment after that. Really just a scan on his own health, which was good, though Healer Greyclaw told him a number of times to eat and sleep more. If he could. And her making him promise that if anything, anything, felt wrong; whether it be his magic, Harry’s magic, whether he was in pain, or bleeding, or whatever else could happen; that he would come straight to her, again. And he did promise. Because she was the only healer he trusted at this point, and he knew he would be there as soon as he possibly could. No matter what. She also made Kinglsey, and Neville promise to bring him if anything happened, or whatever else, and promise to look after him. Which they agreed to vehemently.
And soon they were leaving the Bank to do their shopping. Though Severus could admit to himself that he wasn’t paying too much attention after Neville finding a wand that suited him. Cherry wood and unicorn hair. Shopping for things for his room, for clothes, and whatever else he wanted was supposed to be an exciting time for them all, but Severus almost felt like he was swimming, or drowning would perhaps be a more apt description.
His hand was in his pocket, his fingers constantly touching the picture that showed him that his baby was okay. That his body hadn’t failed him yet. And yet his heart and mind, and even his stomach, continued to churn with fear, and worry, and everything else.
He just wanted it to stop. Even if only long enough for him to enjoy his time with his new family.
But nothing was ever like that with him.
He was always worried. Always scared. Always hurt. And always hating himself.
Nothing could ever be good. If only for a moment.
“Sev, are you okay?” A gentle voice said worriedly and he focussed his gaze on the slightly taller man in front of him.
Kingsley.
He noticed that they were in a book shop and Neville was browsing some of the nearby shelves with a basket in his hand.
“Yes,” he almost croaked, then grimaced at how his voice sounded.
So weak and vulnerable.
“Sev, do you need Healer Greyclaw? We can go back to the Bank-”
“No, I’m fine. We’re fine,” he said, breathing deeply as he realised that he and Harry were, in fact, fine, if their magic was to be believed.
“I’m fine, mummy,” Harry said and he breathed a sigh of relief.
“Then what’s the matter?” Kingsley said, and although Severus could see some relief in him, he could also still see concern, and he hated making the man worry for him, even though it felt good to having someone so concerned for once.
“I… I-I just,” he couldn’t admit it. He just couldn’t.
If he admitted he was scared, if he admitted that he was terrified that something was going to go wrong, because he wasn’t okay, nothing was okay, then he would be admitting to weakness… and he couldn’t do that. The man had just seen him cry, had figured out that he was scared, and that was already, perhaps, too much. He couldn’t handle the man seeing more. Not yet.
Kingsley seemed to see it anyway. He seemed to understand and he smiled sadly whilst pulling Severus gently into his arms. And Severus cherished the warmth, the support, even as he hated that he needed it. Hated that the man knew he needed it. Hated that the man knew he wasn’t as strong as he pretended to be.
“It’s okay, Sev. We’re okay. All of us are okay,” Kingsley whispered into his ear.
“I know,” Severus whispered back, and he hated how shaky his voice was, “But it doesn’t mean that we’re going to remain that way. Too much is happening. I’m not healthy, not really. I… I can’t lose him, either of them really. I can’t lose you,” the last part was so quiet that he was, partially hoping, that Kingsley didn’t hear it.
But the small smile against his neck told him that the man did, in fact, hear him.
“No matter what happens, Sev, you aren’t going to lose me. I promise. I wish that I had told you of my feelings sooner, that I had showed you that you are worth it, that you are worthy of love, and care, and hope. And I’m sorry that I didn’t. I’m so sorry that you have been so hurt. But I am here now. For you. And I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I am going to protect you and our children to the best of my abilities. I am going to love you, and care for you, and cherish you for as long as you will have me. I promise. I love you, Sev. Always,” Kingsley said, his breath tickling Severus’ neck gently in a way that sent nice shivers through his body, “It’s okay to be vulnerable with me, Sev. I’ll protect and look after you,”
Severus rested his head on Kinglsey’s shoulder and closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing, and the warmth that was flooding him with Kingsley’s embrace. He didn’t care, in that moment, that they were in public. He just wanted to stay in those arms, preferably forever.
He hated, though, that he wasn’t able to say those three words yet.
“It’s okay, Sev,” Kingsley whispered again.
“Mum, are you okay?” Neville said as he appeared beside them, his smaller hand going to Severus’ arm and holding it gently.
“Yes, Neville, I’m fine,” Severus said, pulling slowly away from Kingsley, although still grabbing the darker hand in his own, intertwining their fingers, spare hand, the one that wasn’t still brushing against the picture in his pocket, “Have you got everything you want from here?”
“Yeah,” Neville nodded, smiling up at his new parents.
“Good, let’s go and pay for it then we can head somewhere else. Are either of you hungry?” Kingsley said.
Soon they were out of the shop and sitting in a little cafe in a side alley that was rather empty, which Severus was thankful for as he didn’t want to deal with too much noise. Too many people.
Then they were going through the shops again, Neville picking out things he would like rather happily after being told, again, that he could get anything he wanted, no matter how much it was, in price or quantity. And Severus couldn’t help but smile slightly as he watched his oldest son pick things up, and glance at things that Severus hoped he or Kingsley would remember in time for Christmas.
And then Neville came bounding over to them excitedly, with a deep blue baby blanket embroidered with silver stars, “Can we get this for Harry, please? He loved the night sky and I feel like this would be perfect for him,”
Severus heart stuttered, pain, fear and worry creeping up again even as he allowed his hand to run gently over the soft fabric. At seeing the hope, love and excitement in Neville’s eyes he coudn’t help but feel a little bit of hope spark up in himself, and he hated it almost as much as he needed it.
Buying one thing for Harry this soon in the pregnancy isn’t terrible, is it? It’s not going to fuck everything up for them, right?
One thing.
One blanket that was perfect for Harry, perfect for all of them.
It was okay to buy one thing and hope, right?
Right?
“O-okay,” Severus said, his throat a tad tight but there wasn’t too much he could do about that. His heart almost skipped a beat when Neville beamed happily at him and put the blanket in his basket with other bedding and such that he had picked out for himself.
“It’s okay, Sev,” Kingsley whispered into his ear and gently squeezed his hand before following Neville towards the counter to pay for the items once Neville had said that he had everything he wanted.
And Neville said he had everything he needed and wanted for now, that he wanted to go and see his parents. So they headed to the hospital, something that Severus also internally dreaded. What if, by some miracle, Frank and Alice were cured? What if he had to give up one of his new sons?
He didn’t know if he could survive that. Even though he knew it would have to happen, right? They’re his actual parents.
He knew it was virtually impossible for them to be suddenly cured, but it still terrified him that he would have to give Neville away to them. That they would take him away from him, from Harry.
But Neville needed and wanted to see them, and so, even though it hurt and terrified Severus to go there, he would do so, for his son.
For Neville.
And he hated himself for not wanting them to be cured anymore. For not wanting to work towards a cure for them anymore. Not that he could at the moment, any potions that they might need to cure them would be too dangerous for him to make during the pregnancy. Not that he was any closer to finding something for them than he was twelve years ago. He just had a list of potions that didn’t work.
But he stood there, in the corner of the room, watching as Neville and Kingsley talked to Frank and Alice. Neville was both excited and sad as he told his incoherent parents about being adopted, and about the baby brother he was going to have in a few months. The sadness coming from his parents not saying a word, not even really acknowledging that he was there. Both of them focussed on their own little world of bubblegum wrappers and something none of them but the two could see.
The pain of his son tore at his heart and he wished more than anything that he could do something for him. Maybe, one day, for them. But he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t good at this. He wasn’t good with people.
He didn’t know how long they were at the hospital before Neville decided he was ready to go home, but they were soon back in their quarters, unshrinking bags which Neville took to his room so that he could sort them all out.
“Are you alright, Sev?” Kingsley asked again, still concerned about him.
“Hm,” Severus hummed, looking down at the baby blanket which Neville had placed in his hands before he rushed off to his bedroom. He sat carefully in the corner of the sofa with it in his lap, pulling out the picture in his pocket and placing it carefully on top of the blanket, his fingers lightly grazing the image of his baby as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
“You know you can talk to me, right? About anything. I just… I just want to help you, Sev. To look after you. And I-I don’t know how to do that if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” Kingsley said softly as the man sat next to him, his hand resting on Severus’ arm.
“What am I supposed to say?” Severus said quietly, looking briefly up at the man next to him.
“What you’re feeling. What it is you’re scared of. How I can help you. What you need. Anything you want to say. However you want to say it,” Kingsley said.
“I don’t know. I’m scared of everything. Of Dumbledore. Of Sirius Black. Of the Dark Lord. The Death Eaters. My body failing me. I’m not… I’m not well enough for a pregnancy, not really. I’m scared that everything is going to go wrong. That I’ll lose Harry, or Neville, or you, or even all of you. I don’t know what I need because no one has given me what I need before, what I want before, what anyone needs or wants before, so I just don’t know. I don’t know,” his voice was lightly trembling but he couldn’t stop it.
“Okay. That’s okay. We can figure it out together. However long it takes, we will figure out. But… if I do something and you don’t like it then please let me know. Stop me. I’m not going to rush us, but, if something doesn’t feel right then please let me know. I don’t want to hurt you, Severus. I want to, and I will, love you, protect you, and care for you to the best of my ability, and I will tell you that until you truly know and believe that, and even after that,”
Severus nodded and Kingsley smiled gently, kissing his cheek, then his lips softly.
“You’re okay, Sev. We’re all okay,” Kingsley said as he pulled Severus gently into his arms and Severus sunk into the embrace, soaking up the warmth and trying to use it to gain back some of his strength. But things were too much at the moment.
He needed time. He knew that.
But he hated that he was showing so much weakness.
“Harry’s okay. Neville’s okay,” Kingsley said as his hand found Severus’ still flat stomach and rubbed it slowly.
“I know,” Severus whispered, looking back down at the blanket and the picture, and desperately hoping that it would remain that way.
Hoping that they really would all be okay.
But so much of him felt like he was just counting his luck, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something terrible. Terrible things had always come for him before, it wouldn’t be a surprise for something else to come. But it would kill him. Especially now.
“I’m okay, mummy,” Harry said again and he was relieved to hear it.
But the relief didn’t truly work to diminish the ever present fear, still. And he hated that, too. He hated being paranoid. He hated not being able to truly have hope for their future. He hated thinking that something terrible was going to happen.
He hated himself.
But he pushed that aside for a moment to focus on his baby’s magic, and the picture, and the little voice in his head telling him he was okay and asking if he was in return.
And when he went to bed that night he couldn’t help but ask Kingsley to join him. Just to sleep. Because he thought he needed the warmth. The strength and steadiness. The comfort. The love. And everything else that the slightly taller man readily provided him.
And he slept better than he ever had before wrapped in those strong arms.
And maybe that was a good thing.
Something he could focus on.
Something to help him hope for good things for once.
Something to help him believe, if only for a little while, that maybe everything will be okay.
Eventually.

Waking up surrounded by the warmth that was Kingsley’s broad chest, and gentle, yet strong arms was still rather surreal to Severus, even though he had been doing so for almost a week by that point. A good kind of surreal, though, if there ever was such a thing. A kind that he wanted to get used to, and yet was scared of getting used to, of relying on, in case it were to end at some point.
He hoped it didn’t.
But he didn’t like to hope.
Hope ended in pain.
Always.
And yet, as that large hand protected his stomach, and the baby within, from the world in their sleeping hours, and even during the day whenever they were together, a small flicker of hope would make its way through his traitorous heart anyway.
A gentle kiss was placed on his bare shoulder and he shivered slightly as he relaxed back into the body behind him, the strong arms pulling him closer, cradling him safely, lovingly, a thumb gently rubbing his stomach.
“Good morning,” Kingsley said huskily.
Severus gulped, “Good morning,”
“How are you feeling this morning? Do you need anything?” Kingsley asked gently.
“A tad nauseous. But it isn’t too bad at the moment. Maybe just some ginger ale for now, please?” Severus said, unable to hide a little of the nervousness he felt at asking for something.
“Okay, I’ll be back in a mo. Do you also want something to eat?” Kingsley said as he sat up, leaning over him, but not in a way that made him nervous or anything. In a way that made him feel almost at home.
Severus rolled over onto his back so he could see the man, and the charming smile that was being beamed down onto him, the dark eyes almost glittering as they looked at him. And, not for the first time, he wondered how this man was able to find something worth loving in him. Him.
“Maybe a slice of jam on toast, please?” Severus said quietly, a tad overwhelmed.
“Okay,” Kingsley said before leaning down to kiss his lips softly, “I’ll be back,”
“I know,” Severus whispered as the man also kissed his belly.
Then Kingsley was gone, the door left open just a crack. Severus sat up, crossing his pyjama clad legs as he leant agains the headboard, his hands moving to his stomach.
“Daddy’s safe. And warm,” Harry said, and Severus smiled a little.
“Yeah, he is,” Severus agreed, “Are you cold now?”
“No, mummy. I don’t think we can ever be cold with him around,” he sounded so excited that Severus couldn’t help but chuckle quietly.
“I agree,” Severus said softly, “How are you feeling this morning?”
“I’m fine. It’s actually very relaxing in here. Especially when you talk. How are you feeling? Am I making you sick again?” Harry said nervously.
“Even if you were making me sick again, I wouldn’t mind, Harry. But I am okay,” Severus said, warmth filling him at the thought of his voice being relaxing for the little one in him.
“I don’t think I should be called Harry anymore,” Harry said quietly.
“Why?” Severus asked, concerned.
“It’s not who I am anymore. I’m not Harry Potter anymore. And, to be truthfully honest, I didn’t want that life. I didn’t want to be the-boy-who-lived. But now I have a choice. And you should have one, too. And you should get to experience this as fully as possible. You already know I’m a boy, but you should get to pick my name. Like any parent gets to for their children. You are my mum now. I’m not Harry Potter anymore. I am me. I am part of you. And it should remain that way, even when I’m no longer in you. So, please, can you pick me a new name? One that, hopefully, won’t tie me to the saviour I didn’t want to be,” Harry said.
And Severus’ heart filled with awe, not for the first time in the last two weeks, “Okay,” Severus said.
“Thank you, mum. I love you,”
“I love you, too,”
Kingsley entered the room with a smile on his face and a tray in his hands that was soon resting on Severus’ lap. On it was a plate that held a piece of toast with raspberry jam on it, a mug of ginger ale, and a prune.
“A prune?” Severus asked, confused.
“Well, I thought it would be nice to keep some of the fruit that represents the approximate size of Harry each week, to remind us how much our little one is growing and changing. And this week, he is about the size of a prune. There’s a bunch of them in the kitchen, but I wanted to bring one in to show you how big he is at the moment. Isn’t it awesome,”
It awed him how excited Kinglsey is about the whole thing as the man picked up the prune so bloody gently and held it up to show Severus for a few moments before holding it against Severus’ belly. And Severus watched in amazement as the man held that little prune against him, his other hand flat against his stomach that was slowly starting to round, though only a miniscule amount so far, the man’s eyes bouncing between his own, his belly, and the little prune he held.
“Our baby is growing so much,” Kingsley breathed.
“Yeah, he is,” Severus said with a gulp, butterflies flying throughout him, “But I think… I think we should give him a new name,”
Kingsley looked up at him in shock.
“I… He’s not Harry Potter anymore. And I’m sure that, given everything that he had been through, he probably didn’t like being Harry Potter all that much. He’s his own person now. He’s ours. He’s our baby. And maybe… maybe we should make this pregnancy as normal as possible. Experience it as normally as possible. By giving him a new name. One that we get to choose. Like normal parents do. If anything it will give him the chance to grow up without being hounded for his past, that he probably won’t be able to remember,” he worried his lip between his teeth.
He really hoped that, after all this, Harry wouldn’t be able to remember his past. He didn’t want his baby having to grow up with all of that on his shoulders.
“Okay,” Kingsley said with an understanding smile, “We’ll give him a new name,”
The other man put the prune gently on the tray and Severus ate his toast and drank his ginger ale as the auror got ready for work.

…

Kingsley left for work after they had eaten a proper breakfast in the Great Hall. Severus had the morning free, thankfully. Though that didn’t mean that he didn’t have work to do. He was making the trek down to Hagrid’s Hut to give the man a potion he had ordered. He saw the black dog that always seemed to search him out throughout the past week playing with Fang outside the Hut. And he smiled slightly as he knocked on the door and the half-giant appeared a moment later.
“Ah, Sev, good to see ya’,” Hagrid said cheerfully.
“Good morning, Hagrid. I have the potion you wanted,” Severus said, pulling said potion out of his pocket and giving it to the man.
“Thanks,” the man nodded, taking it gently in his large hand, “How are you doin’?”
“I’m okay, thank you. Tired, but, well, work is keeping me busy,” Severus said, distracted by the dogs barking and yapping at each other.
“You be sure to rest up, Sev, when you get a chance. You and that baby need it,” Hagrid said, beaming.
“I will,” Severus saw the black dog leading Fang into the forest and turned briefly back at the Castle, almost groaning when he saw Lupin leaving the place, “I should probably get going. Is there anything else you need?”
“I think tha’ should do it for now, Sev. Thanks,” Hagrid said.
“You’re welcome. Have a good day,” Severus nodded and turned to leave as the man closed the door gently.
And Severus wondered how he could get back to the castle without running into the wolf he had been trying to avoid for a week. Perhaps he should venture into the forest, too. Hide there until the wolf inevitably had to go back inside. He briefly contemplated taking the coin out of his pocket that was connected to one that both Kingsley and Neville had to see if either of them could come and save him from the wolf, but he didn’t want to seem too weak. Too needy.
But he also didn’t want to speak to the wolf who had been trying to harass him.
Of course, though, his feet had taken him in the direction of the Castle. The direction of the wolf. And he was soon forced to stop walking lest he actually walk into the grinning man.
“Severus, how are you feeling this fine morning?” Lupin said.
“I was quite fine until you stepped in front of me, Lupin. Now I’m afraid I need to hurry back inside lest I vomit all over you,” Severus said with a sneer, his stomach actually churning as he tried, and failed, to step around the wolf.
“There’s no need to be like that, Severus. I just want to talk. You have been avoiding me,” Lupin said.
“Lupin, morning sickness is no joke. If you don’t want me to puke on you then I suggest you step aside, now, and let me go back into the Castle,” he said, not wanting to say anything else.
“We were friends, Sev. Why can’t we be friends again? Why won’t you let me help you? Why Kingsley?” Lupin said, and Severus almost felt like he had been punched in the gut.
“I don’t need help, Lupin. I am just fine without you. We used to be friends, yes. But then you almost fucking killed me because of your friends, and you stayed friends with them. And that wasn’t before they sexually assaulted me in front of thirty other students, and you stood there and laughed. Then continued to be friends with them. Kingsley, however, hasn’t done anything of the sort to me. Kingsley is safe. You aren’t. I can’t let you help me, because I can’t be around you without hating you for every moment in which you pretended to be my friend and the ways you hurt me before and afterwards,” Severus said, breathing deeply, “I can’t trust you with me, or with my sons. You have spent the last twelve years ignoring Harry. If you hadn’t, maybe I might find it somewhere in me to let you be part of his life, but you did. I don’t trust you. I will never trust you. So, leave me the fuck alone,”
He tried to push past Lupin, his stomach churned all the more, however, as the man grabbed his arm tight and held him still, close to the body of the werewolf. So close he could feel the man’s breath on his face, and fear gripped him.
“You are carrying James and Lily’s baby. I have every right to be in your life, and I will be in it, no matter what,” the wolf growled lowly.
“He’s my baby now, Lupin. Mine,” Severus growled back, “I don’t care what I have to do, you aren’t going anywhere near him. You have absolutely no rights to him, to me, to any of us,”
The man smiled a little too sweetly at him and moved his free hand to cup Severus’ cheek. And Severus punched him, relishing in the sight of the man on the floor, clutching his cheek and nose in his hands.
“My partner is an Auror, Lupin, and I am friends with the goblins. I’m not afraid to use the people I love to keep you away from me and my family. No matter what they do to make sure you do so,” Severus said, breathing a little too heavily as his stomach churned.
He walked away, trying to get his breathing under control, and failing, even as he eventually collapsed in front of the toilet in his bathroom to lose everything he had consumed that morning. His body was shaking, trembling as he leaned back against the wall when he thought he was done.
He heard the door to his apartment opening, “Mum, where are you?” Neville said, sounding worried as he heard his son moving through the rooms.
He looked worried, too, as he stood in the doorway a moment later.
“Are you okay? The twins saw your… chat with Lupin and told me about it,” Neville said as he moved to sit in front of him.
“I’m fine,” Severus said with a nod, though the crack in his voice perhaps gave away a little too much.
“What did he say? Do you want me to get Kingsley? Should I tell McGonagall that you won’t be teaching today? You shouldn’t be too stressed, and-”
“Neville, I’m fine. I promise,” Severus breathed, smiling at his son, “He was just being… a bastard, like he usually is around me. I can deal with it. Kingsley can stay at work. And I can teach today. Just had a spot of morning sickness. All is well,”
“Okay, if you’re sure?” Neville said, still concerned.
“I’m sure. I just need a moment to freshen up. Do you want to have lunch here today?” Severus said.
“Yeah,” Neville said with a smile and a nod, “I’ll leave you to freshen up. I don’t have anymore classes until after lunch,”
Severus nodded with his own smile as Neville left the room, closing the bathroom door gently behind him. He took a deep, shaky breath and pushed himself off the floor, flushing the loo and closing the lid before walking to the sink and leaning against it as he breathed.
Why couldn’t anything just be simple?