As he ran along the halls of the enormous mansion, Harry could feel his feet slipping on the smooth surface of the floor. The soft leather soles of the boots he wore refused to give decent traction against the floor. Harry yelped as his feet flew from beneath him and he slid a little way down the hall on his side. Within a few seconds he had pulled himself up and was heading toward a door at the end of the hall.
He finally reached the door and prayed that it was unlocked. He jerked the door open and dashed inside the room pulling the door closed behind him. This room was dark, and large. From what Harry could see it was some sort of library, or perhaps a study chamber. Harry hid behind a desk shielded with a large stack of books as he heard the door creak open.
The soft glow of Snape’s lit wand made Harry’s ragged breath stop in his throat. He wanted to calm the hammering of his heart for fear that it would give him away. He ducked as Snape walked by him. Harry wished that he’d had his invisibility cloak. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember seeing the cloak in his trunk where it should have been. It was supposed to be under his pair of school shoes, and it had disappeared as well.
Harry watched silently as Snape left the room to search others in the hall. Harry breathed in a gulp of air in relief. He glanced about for a door or a window that led outside, but in this room there were only solid walls. There was no other way out but back through the door he’d come in; he’d have to risk the chance that Snape had gone to another room.
Harry padded to the door and put his ear to it. He couldn’t hear a thing; the door was too solid to allow the sound of Snape’s footsteps come through. After trying to concentrate and getting nowhere Harry gave up. He blew out a sigh of resignation and tried to open the heavy door a tiny bit to look out. The door groaned as he pushed it open. Harry sucked in a breath and looked down the hall, no Snape.
He felt his shoulders drop in relief. Perhaps he still had a chance to escape. Harry cautiously crept out of the library and snuck down the hall. He looked back and saw nothing behind him. Harry smiled and turned his focus back to the task of leaving. All he could see in front of him was black.
Harry realized what had happened too late. Somehow Snape had appeared out of thin air in front of him. Harry stumbled backward and felt the soft soled boots lose traction once again on the hard floor. The boy cringed as Snape reached out and grabbed his right arm and kept him from falling to the floor. For a moment Harry had thought that Snape was lashing out to strike him; he was glad that he was once again wrong about the Potions Master.
Snape looked at Harry. His dark eyes glistened with what must have been intense fury. “Tell me, Mr. Potter, are all Gryffindor as easily frightened as you? It was my understanding that members of your house were said to be quite courageous and yet you ran from me like a terrified house elf.”
Snape spun Harry in an about face and gave the boy a gentle push in the direction of Harry’s bedroom. Harry turned to face Snape, and for a moment it looked like Harry intended to resist. His eyes flitted to Snape’s wand and then back to Snape’s impassive face.
“Mr. Potter, please do not give me an excuse to curse you.”
“I never realized that you needed a reason to curse someone,” Harry thought.
Harry watched Snape as the grip on his wand and the expression on the professor’s face tightened in irritation. Suddenly Harry realized that he hadn’t just thought that he’d said every word aloud! He’d meant to keep that as an internal dialogue, what in the world was wrong with him? He swallowed, expecting some type of reaction from Snape, but Snape said nothing.
In spite of the fact that Harry had no desire to return to his impressive room he did not think it wise to defy Snape. He trudged to his room without a word the entire time. Snape followed into the room after Harry and slipped his wand into the folds of his robes.
“Stay here and think of a good explanation for your actions. I would like to know the reason for your cowardly behavior.”
Snape had taken out his wand again and conjured some more food for Harry. Harry was glad when Snape left him alone again; he wasn’t sure why he had spoken so out of turn, but he was going to have to watch his tongue more carefully.
Harry looked at the meal set out before him and felt his stomach rumble in want. Porridge, a cup of cream, fresh strawberries and buttered toast waited for him. Harry thought it was odd that Snape hadn’t left him a glass of juice or milk, but more of the cider that Snape seemed to favor. Harry didn’t dislike porridge, but it did remind him of food that had already been chewed up and spit out, and that reminded him of the Dursleys. He disliked the thoughts that brought to mind.
After a few seconds Harry allowed the memory of starvation to encourage him to eat what he’d been freely given. He poured a bit of cream into the cereal and stirred it, then he added a few strawberries and began to eat. It didn’t take long for the whole bowl to disappear. Harry finished the rest of the strawberries and took a sip of the warm cider as he started to munch on the toast.
As Harry finished off the last of his toast and goblet of cider, he was greeted with the faint bitter taste in his mouth. The bitterness did not ruin the pleasantness of the meal, but Harry wondered what was in the cider to cause it to have such a bad aftertaste.
The mellow sensation of being full and content soon pushed all other thoughts away and Harry was once again dozing before he could fight himself.
When Harry woke Snape was standing a few feet away from him with an expectant look on his face. “Have you thought of your explanation, Mr. Potter?”
“No,” Harry thought. “Why should I have to explain anything to you?”
Harry clapped a hand over his mouth. His personal dialogue was not being very personal; he had only intended to keep those words as thoughts not actually say them!
“Having trouble keeping your thoughts to yourself, Potter?” Snape’s sneer revealed a slight twist of a smile.
“I don’t know what’s going on, Professor,” Harry admitted softly.
“That much is obvious, Potter,” Snape growled. “Now then, I’ve given you more than enough time to think of a decent answer. Why did you run from me, Potter?”
The words popped into his mind within fractions of a second and before he could stop the words spilled from his mouth in a subdued tone. “I ran because I was afraid.”
Harry didn’t want to say anymore. He clenched his jaw; if Snape asked him another question, he would not answer easily.
“Yes, I gathered that, Potter. But why were you afraid? I did not give you cause to be so unnerved,” Snape said in a steady voice.
Harry bit down on his tongue; he did not want to talk about the Dursleys. It seemed that Harry had little power over the will of his words and once more they sprang from his mouth without his approval. “I didn’t want to end up back in the cupboard. I wasn’t going to touch the horse. Well, not after you’d said something.”
“Indeed,” Snape said recalling the look on the boy’s face when he had been surprised.
Harry wondered how much harder he would have to bite down on his tongue before he would draw blood. Snape gave Harry a scrutinizing stare.
“If you would speak your mind willingly, it would not be so unpleasant, Potter.”
Harry bit his tongue a little harder as his thoughts scrambled for purchase as spoken words. “I think that you have heard enough of what’s on my mind. I don’t believe that pouring my heart out to you would be anything but unpleasant,” Harry stated with a wince, every bit of defiance in the words had been only in his mind. Why was he having such a difficult time holding his tongue?
He hadn’t taken any potions recently and the one he had been given had worn off hours ago. The only thing he’d drank on a regular basis had been . . . the cider.
Snape had been drugging him from the very beginning, and there was no way to know when this would wear off. Harry felt his heart drop to the soft-soled boots on his feet, the way things were going Harry was not going to be able to keep anything from Snape. The person who despised Harry more than almost anyone in the wizarding world had a grip on Harry’s very thoughts, and Harry couldn’t stop himself from speaking. All Snape had to do was ask the right questions and he could know everything.