Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

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Mr. Woolfy the werewolf-puppet "plays" food-fight with preety-lady-serenity:THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO J. K .ROWLING AND YOU OWE ME THREE SALARIES."

preety-lady-serenity sweatdrops and shouts: "YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF MY IMAGINATION I CANNOT GIVE YOU A SALARY!"

Woolfy hands her an envelope "I AM SUING YOU FOR USING ME WITHOUT ASKING ME. I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT!"

The detention

The Gryffindor Common Room echoed with the girls' chorusing laughter.

"HE DID WHAT?" Hermione asked aloud while she kept laughing her head off. "No Ginny he didn't. Snape is too serious to do such a thing!"

"Oh but he did!" Ginny answered back cheekily. "And I have the parchment to prove it."

She rose from her seat and climbed from the spiral staircase into her dormitory. She opened her trunk and took out a file that was labelled with a "Potions" inscription. Opening it she ran through her essays and took out the one she wanted. Putting the file back into her trunk, she rushed down the stairs into the Common Room and handed the parchment to Hermione. The curly-haired girl started reading Snape's comments on the essay. What the essay lacked was listed in seven different points. However when Hermione read point number 7 a smile formed. It became bigger and bigger until she started rolling on the floor laughing hysterically. She read point number 7 aloud, still gasping for air:

"7. Professor Snape's advice for this week is: Flattery will get you anywhere, but please refrain from talking about my arse in public."

Ron and Neville looked at each other; their eyebrows rose in amazement, and then they started chuckling uncontrollably. They could imagine their professor grading Ginny's paper, writing down the points carefully and, smirking to himself, adding that extra point about his bum. It was definite now. Snape had gone insane.

A small cough was heard. The teenagers stopped laughing and turned to the direction it was heard. Fat Lady was waiting impatiently inside a canvas that was hanging above the Common Room's fireplace.

"It's about time. I'd been trying to catch your attention for quite some time now. Professor Snape has kindly asked me to come here and inform you that he is waiting for baby Harry and you outside" Fat Lady spoke sternly and then disappeared from the canvas.

)-)-)

The portrait moved aside as Ron, Hermione and Ginny crawled outside the portrait hole. Neville had decided to be the one who would pass Harry to them through the gap. Neville had gotten over his fear of his ex-Potions Master. However he still felt uncomfortable around him and had decided to keep his distance. Receiving baby Harry from him, Hermione turned to look at Snape.

"We enjoyed having baby Harry with us today, sir" she spoke, looking at him.

"I hope he was not much trouble" Professor Snape stated flatly.

"Oh no sir! Not at all!" Ron and Hermione spoke in unison.

"I have to admit Miss Granger that you were right. I worked in a more relaxed manner without having Mr. Potter around me. Twenty points to Gryffindor for Mr. and Miss Weasley's, Mr. Longbottom's and your; help. Come along Potter, time to go back to our room" the raven-haired man uttered, taking baby Harry from Hermione's hands.

The infant looked into his guardian's beetle-black eyes. Feeling happy he wrapped his hands around the pale man's face. The man went stiff and two red blotches appeared on his cheeks. Coughing slightly, he turned around and left the three dumbfounded students gazing at the point were he stood.

"Oh My God!" the three of them gasped in unison.

"Was it just me, or did I just see Harry hugging Snape?" Hermione spoke in puzzlement.

"Yes you did 'Mione" Ron answered faintly while he kept staring at the door.

Ginny's eyes bulged and her mouth hunged open. Then she let out a high- pitched scream as she started repeating "Snape gave TWENTY points to Gryffindor! Oh Merlin! Snape gave TWENTY points to Gryffindor!"

"Heck! He just admitted that 'Mione was more right than he is!" Ron said hugging Hermione, who turned crimson-red and giggled.

"I hope this isn't a dream!" Neville's muffled speech was heard as he crawled outside the portrait hole.

)-)-)

Professor Snape entered the room, fuming. He paced up and down the room, stopped; and kicked one of the desk's wooden legs. Seconds later he realised that this action had caused him much discomfort. He cursed and hopped around until the pain subdued. Looking at the mahogany desk accusingly he gritted his teeth and grumbled menacingly:

"Blasted Gryffindor teenager! Blaster Slytherin teenager"

The day had started so well. He woke up early and took baby Harry to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was pleased. For the first time, after thirty years of being a Healer, the "Gryffindor versus Slytherin" Quidditch Match resulted to only a broken elbow and a broken nose. Nothing a good potion could not fix. There were no fights from the outcome of the match and no students to stay overnight. Perfect!

He had no interruptions or troubles in class. Except from a petite first- grade girl, who squealed in fear, when he had addressed her to answer a question. That rumour about him being a vampire had, most probably, revived once again. But anyways the day had passed with nothing to irritate him. Until half hour ago - that is

FLASHBACK

The hook-nosed professor put off the cauldron fires and, like every second Wednesday, checked the cauldrons for any cracks or other sort of damage. He had read in "POTION-MAKING TODAY" search magazine that a portion of defected cauldrons had been found in one of Diagon Alley's best shops. Since then he wanted to search every cauldron in the castle. After having Potter turning into an infant, he hated the mere idea of a cauldron leaking; and turning a student into something that had seven legs and antennas.

Having finished checking the cauldrons, Snape walked outside the dungeons to find himself in havoc. Mr. Malfoy, a Slytherin Prefect, and Mr. Weasley, a Gryffindor Prefect, were lying on the floor, beating the hell out of each other. Gritting his teeth, Snape leaned down and pulled them apart. Holding them by the ear, he dragged them into the dungeons once again. He made them sit down in the nearest chair and then locked the door behind him. Chanting a Silencing Charm, he turned around and stared them.

"And may I know what was the purpose of such a behaviour?" he asked, a dangerous tone in his voice.

"HE TALKED BAD ABOUT MY FATHER!" Malfoy shouted

"HE TALKED ILL ABOUT MY FAMILY AND MY MOTHER!"

"I NEVER SAID A LIE ABOUT IT WEASEL!"

"NEITHER DID I; FERRET-BOY!"

"SILENCE!" Snape barked and the two teenagers stopped.

"If those two are the hope of Tomorrow, I don't want to live in Tomorrow's society" he thought rubbing his temples.

"The point is," the professor started with a venomous voice "that you two misbehaved in the school's corridors. A Prefect does not wonder around, using another Prefect like punch bag! You are in the Prefect position because the Headmaster found you suitable of giving your smaller fellow classmates a good example. And I can bet my life that everything started because of yesterday's Quidditch match. You know what? I don't care about it. I want you to learn how to act in a civil way; and your age!"

"Now let me think about your punishment. Twenty points from your House each! And a week detention for both of you. Mr. Weasly, be at my office at six. Mr. Malfoy, I have warned you at the Slytherin meeting. You earned detention with Filch. And be warned. If this kind of behaviour continues, I will make sure to achieve your removal from the Prefect Board. Now get out of my sight!"

Not wanting to stay with an exceptionally angry Snape, the two boys stood up immediately and moved towards the door. The Potions Master kept staring forward, fuming, minutes after they left.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Blasted teenagers!" he murmured under his breath, while he kept pacing "You leave them alone for two minutes and they start fighting like three- year-olds. And worst of all, we are talking about the Prefects here. Yeah boys, let's start a war inside the school. No one will mind. Sometimes I do believe they will never grow up. Hell never! Potter will . . . Potter? Oh hell! I forgot Potter in the Hospital Wing!" he thought and rushed outside his office.

)-)-)

"Insufferable Greasy Git!" Ron Weasley thought as he paced inside the empty corridor that led to Snape's office.

"I knew he would do a thing like that. Twenty Points from Gryffindor ha? I knew that he would take the points he added on Sunday. I bet he added the points to his house right away. And I have to spend my time in detention for a whole week."

"Stupid Malfoy! He started it all. He deserved that black eye. Even thought it lasted only for a couple of moments, I enjoyed it! the redhead thought smiling as he approached Snape's office. Well at least I'll get to see Harry for a while, while stinky Malfoy will clean Trophies without magic"

He stood opposite the wooden door and he was about to knock when he heard something coming from inside the room. He blinked twice and wondered if his ears had deceived him. No it could not be happening. This was unrealistic. He was probably on crack or something. He leaned towards the door and pressed his left ear on the hard wood.

"Now Potter, repeat after me. The sheep says "baaaa!"" Snape's voice was heard. Ron's face contorted while he tried to control his laughter. "The sheep says "baaaa"?"

"Ok Potter, what does the sheep say? The sheep says . . ."

"Baaaa!" baby Harry's voice followed enthusiastically.

"Very good Potter! Now after me! The goat says "maaaa!" See the goat on the picture? Yes that thing says "maaaa!" Snape's voice continued.

"Oh wait 'till I tell it to the others!" Ron thought chuckling inside.

"Now Potter, are you ready? The goat says . . . "

"Maaaa!" the small voice answered and then continued "Maaaa! Bibi, maaaa!"

"See Potter? Bibi knows too!"

Ron looked at the door. He stood up and knocked it. Loud coughs were heard and the boy laughed as he heard his professor grumbling a panicked "Merlin's beard, I had forgotten all about Weasley!" The freckled boy entered the office trying to look as ignorant as he could. Snape was sitting at his black armchair, holding baby Harry on his laps. A small colourful book was on his desk. He dismissed the book into one of his desk's drawers but Ron could bet that it had the title "Farm Animals" labelled on it.

"Mr. Weasley, I have been expecting you," the pale-looking professor pronounced coolly. "Now sit down. You are two minutes late, and you are already wasting my valuable time"

"Ok, ok! Merlin, we are not in a good mood today, are we?" Ron mentally asked his professor, while he sat opposite him.

"Mr. Weasley, you have not heard any weird noises coming out of my office when you arrived here, have you?" Snape asked dangerously.

"Apart from you talking to Harry, pretending to be an animal. Nuh! Where did you get that idea?" Ron thought immediately, before he would answer.

"No sir. I heard nothing at all."

"But I will make sure, people will learn everything!" he thought evilly.

)-)-)

Ron powdered five black beetles in fine powder. Professor Snape had decided that he would spend the week's detention, helping him to brew some Potions. He gave the bowl to his professor and watched him adding the powder, pinch by pinch, into the potion that changer from sickly yellow to a fizzing orange one. Snape motioned for him to start chopping the dragon's tongue, while he was carefully measuring the armadillo bile into a small cup.

A loud scream echoed in the room and then ear-splitting crying followed. Ron shot up being startled. His left hand knocked a small bottle that rolled down the table, and it would have broken if he did not reach out and grasp it in time. He thanked Merlin that his reflexes were still working and turned to apologise. To his amazement, Professor Snape was not standing near him anymore. The cup was lying on the floor, and Snape had rushed to baby Harry's cradle. Ron kept staring amazed.

The black-robed professor scooped the infant up and looked at him being worried. The baby kept wailing loudly, his face red from intense crying. The man rocked the boy slowly. Baby Harry stopped wailing hardly but he kept sobbing asking for comfort. Raising the boy to his eye-level, Snape looked at the boy; before he would let it rest its head at his shoulder.

"Sshh, Potter. Was it a bad dream? Now, now, everything is alright. I am here now ok?" he whispered slightly into the boy's ear, while his insides screamed: "I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM DOING THIS RIGHT NOW!"

"I can't believe I see Snape doing this right now!" Ron thought while he kept staring his professor patting Harry's back and whispering comforting words into his ear. He heard a hissing sound and he saw the potion turning faint blue, before it would start emitting a disgusting odour.

"LEAPIN' SALAMANDERS!" the redhead shouted holding his breath. He put off the cauldron's fire, while Snape rushed to open the windows, still holding baby Harry with one hand. He, then, took his wand and waved it in a circular way. The disgusting smell faded slightly. However it seemed to linger in the room like the effects of a recently thrown dungbomb.

"Mr. Weasley!" the professor asked harshly "I left you alone for a couple of moments; and you managed to ruin the potion we had been brewing for the past half-an-hour. What were you thinking?" he finished his words, while he kept petting the infant's back.

"I kept staring you, holding and petting Harry sir!" Ron answered inside sarcastically.

"Umm . . . I am sorry, sir. . . Harry's wailing startled me, and I lost my concentration" the teenager verbalised.

"Oh, get out of my office. There is nothing more we can do now," the Potions Master said in desperation.

The young man turned around quickly, but he was stopped before his hand could touch the doorknob. "And Mr. Weasley, the past ten minute never occurred. Am I clear?" the voice was heard, a tone of danger inside it. Ron nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

)-)-)

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

"I DID NOTHING! YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A MAD MAN!"

"I AM NOT, WOMAN! YOU TRICKED ME! NO ONE TRICKS ME!"

"CHILDREN! Children! Relax now" Dumbledore's aging voice was heard as the door opened and the headmaster's head appeared. "Now, Severus, Poppy why are you acting like three-year-olds? Look at baby Harry. See how well- mannered he is behaving?"

"But Headmaster, she cheated!" Snape furiously insisted.

"I did not. Severus you are acting like a baby!"

"Yes you did! You made me agree to let Potter age a bit faster; and now you come and tell me that for the next two weeks you will age him only by one month each week."

"Severus," Madam Pomfrey exclaimed impatiently "the period of being an 8- month old and 9-month old is extremely important for an infant. I refuse; to let young Harry age more quickly and turn his brain into a pile of goo, for your enjoyment only."

Madam Pomfrey stopped speaking and stared Severus as if he was an annoying four-year old,

"Immature brat! Calling me "Woman"; in such a manner. I was a Healer before he could crawl." she thought piercing her lips

"Oh, do you whatever you want. It is not like I have another option to avoid it!" Snape snapped and Madam Pomfrey entered her office. By Merlin, she will pay for this! he thought and turned to look at Dumbledore, who had sat down and was playing with baby Harry.

"Ah, children!" Dumbledore exclaimed, looking at Snape with twinkling eyes "They grow up so quickly, don't they young man?"

Snape blushed when he heard Dumbledore's last words. "Oh stop doing that!" he reminded himself and answered coolly.

"On, the contrary Headmaster; I do believe that they grow up very slowly!" Snape answered back and turned to look at Madam Pomfrey, who entered the Hospital Wing. If looks could kill, Madam Pomfrey would have been dead. However they couldn't and the only thing the pale-looking man could do was to accept the baby-bottle that contained the Potion.

Chapter End Notes:
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