Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:

DISCLAIMER

Woolfy: Today I am going to prove that the character in this fanfic does not belong to preety-lady-serenity. Take any one of the Harry Potter books. Look at the cover. What’s the name of the Author? J. K. Rowling. See? I told you so! Preety-lady-serenity is just the twisted personality that writes this fanfic.

Ok, ok Woolfy! The readers got the idea.

Training and Raising

At the owlery of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry a young woman, at the age of sixteen, was scribbling furiously on her piece of parchment. She stopped for a moment, placed her quill on the small table and looked outside the window. The sun had sunk completely half an hour ago, leaving to school in twighlight. She started proofreading her letter, as she tried to put her thoughts in order. She had so many things to do, such as: studying for the upcoming Transfiguration test, practicing her Charms work, and other work she could not recall. The Christmas holidays had finished a week ago, and all the professors were getting more and more vicious on homework and test terms. She felt panic rising upwards in her chest, she signed her parchment in a hurry, tied it on her owl’s leg and assigned the receiver. Having done so, Pansy Parkinson examined her robes for dirt; she properly aligned her sliver-green tie and headed for the Slytherin common room. The moment she entered, she sat down and opened her book. Hours later, when she was going to lye on her bed, Pansy Parkinson was going to realize that she had forgotten to mention Potter’s condition, to her family, once again.)-)-)

“Ok Po – ahem – Harry, hands up!” Snape said indifferently as the small boy raised his hands upwards, allowing the Potion Master to dress him with a warm white sweater.

Having helped Harry to dress, Snape turned to his wardrobe’s open doors. He was wearing a pair of black trousers; a white simple shirt that he had buttoned to the last button; a grey vest that no one would ever know he was wearing it; and his pair of shinning, squeaky-clean black shoes. His hands passed over each one of the hangers that his black and simple work-robes were hung on. He took each one out, examined them carefully, and hung them up again. Feeling satisfied, he chose one of them, wore it and started buttoning it carefully. Having done so, he looked himself in the mirror.

Severus Snape loved to have everything in perfect order, and though his life was disturbed by having Potter around him, he still expected himself to appear in his lessons in the perfect dressing condition. He raised his head up and checked his robes for distasteful wrinkles or stains that his eye may had missed. At last he glared at a tiny spectacle of dust that was lying on his left sleeve, and tossed it down with the aid of his fingers. He turned around to reach for his comb, when he saw the little boy, standing near him and facing at the cupboards left door, which had a mirror as well.

Baby Harry stared at his image intensively, as his guardian has done, and then passed his little hand over his chest, imitating that he was tossing dust off himself as well. Snape just raised his left eyebrow to the scene and took his comb and started combing his hair passing his hand after everyone of the comb’s stroke, trying not to pay attention to the boy that stood next to him. If that morning someone had entered the chamber of Severus Snape, he would have started giggling, for he would see both the man and the boy doing exactly the same movements as one was combing his hair and the other pretended to do so.

)-)-)

It was a very unusual day for Snape. His Potion lesson was proceeding in a very quiet, harmless manner. No one had melted a cauldron, or blew up a Potion, or shouted, or done anything to disturb the lesson. And such lack of action was very unusual; if someone would take into consideration that he was teaching the, as he would refer to them, ‘Menacing’ second-years of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. He had assigned the class to brew a fairly easy potion and then concentrated to his own businesses. As a Potion Master and a researcher; Snape spent his free time, when he was not spying and looking after babies that is, to do some research in the Potions’ field of study. Since it seemed that it was going to be one awkwardly silent Tuesday morning; Snape focused himself on his research. He did not brew a potion, that was a very irresponsible thing to do inside a classroom, but he rather spent his time reading an extract from the ancient manuscripts he had discovered in an old, wooden door at a shop in Western Scotland.

Snape’s fingers touched the old parchment very carefully. The man was very proud of his discovery of those valuable manuscripts as he had spent three whole years seeking for the box’s lost traces. He looked at the wooden box that had a carved diamond and the letter ‘F’ inside.

The box was a legend in the wizarding world. A witch named Alicia Farren had spent her life researching the effects of many different plants on potions. In her will; she demanded that the box, to which it was rumored that she kept all her observations hidden, would pass to her closest female relative. She also added that the box could be passed to her female relatives only, for men were not to be trusted. When Snape had heard about the box, seven hundred years had already passed since Alicia Farren’s death. The box had changed so many hands and families that it had caused Snape many headaches and valuable time. To his frustration Snape discovered that the box’s traces were lost after the seventh family that got hold of it. Yet, it seemed that Snape was a lucky man. When he was so close to giving up, it happened. He discovered the box hidden in a trunk at a shop in Western Scotland and he bought it, giving away a huge amount of galleons, in fear that someone would grasp it away from him. Only when he arrived at Hogwarts he realized that there was a possibility that the manuscripts may not be inside the box. With trembling hands he searched for the switch that opened the wooden box’s secret case, and to his satisfaction the parchments were still inside.

The raven-haired professor brushed some of his stray hair away from his face as he scribbled on the parchment. He was involved into his work so much that he realized too late that Miss. Bliss of the Ravenclaw house had a added a pinch of pixie-cells too much. Snape heard the ‘awws’ of amazement as the girl’s potion turned from ceramic-pink to vivid orange. He turned his gaze upwards and looked in horror as the whole class was looking at Bliss’ cauldron, which had started rumbling and frizzing dangerously. He turned even paler when he remembered that an overdose of pixie-cells in the given potion turned it to something highly dangerous. In fact, the given potion enflamed when it touched clothing.

“Everyone under your desks immediately!” he barked out and launched forward to Bliss, who was staring her cauldron like a deer caught in headlights.

The cauldron blew up sending vivid orange drops to every direction and Snape, who was now pushing the young girl out of the potions way, felt his back poured with tiny drops. In a flash he removed his work-robes that were immediately emblazed and rushed to his mahogany desk to find his wand. Swishing his wand he froze the cauldron and looked at the mayhem around him. Potions were starting to burn, while their brewers were hiding under their desks too afraid to move.

“QUIET!” he ordered the panicked classroom as he cleaned every cauldron with a movement of his wrist. With his gaze he examined his students who started emerging from under their desks. Assuring his self about his class’ health, he opened his mouth.

“The pile of ashes over there,” he said pointing at his burned robes, “used to be my work-robes. This proves that mistakes in Potions can be lethal.. I expect this classroom to have a one-thousand words essay on what happens if we overdose every one of the fifteen given ingredients of this potion.” Snape eyed Bliss in a menacing manner. “As for you Miss Bliss, I hope you have a lot of free time for you have earned detention for a week, with me. Class Dismissed!”

I never thought this day would come, but I think I just discovered a student that is more dangerous than Longbottom” Snape thought in disgust, as he realized that he had no time to return to his chambers and wear another set of work-robes.

)-)-)

The hook-nosed professor stared the green-eyed toddler with an expression that screamed ‘FEAR’. He had never realized that taking care of a toddler could cause such an embarrassment. Now he realized that. He had to go through the most humiliating speech a parent could ever give.

At least parents chose to create a child. I, on the other hand, I am forced by a be-damned twinkling-eyed old man.” Snape thought while he exhaled sharply, knowing that he could not avoid the conversation after all.

“Harry, do you know what potty-training is?” he asked, only to receive an answer by a little sarcastic voice from the back of his head. “Of course he doesn’t know what it is, you imbecile. If he knew, you wouldn’t be in such a position right now.”

Baby Harry nodded negatively.

“Well. . . Ok how do I put this . . .? Let’s see. . . Harry, have you seen how grown-ups do some things different from you? You will also learn all of those things one day. Umm. . . You remember when you used to have your bath in the plastic bathtub?”

Harry shook his head to confirm.

“And where do you have your bath now?” Snape asked.

“Gwon-up bathab!” Harry squealed happily as he remembered the day before, when his guardian had bathed him in the bathroom. “Harry big boy now!”

“See? One of the steps into becoming a big boy is to learn how to go to the toilet. . . You know how I go into the bathroom sometimes and there is this seat…”

“Sevvus makes poopies and wee-wees there” Harry said immediately.

“Yes, as you said, poopies and wee-wees” Snape said in discomfort, feeling himself blushing for a reason he could not yet define. He coughed to calm himself and continued, “I want to teach this to you too. I mean how to go to the toilet.”

“But me likes nappy!” Harry protested slightly.

FLASHBACK

“You will do as I say, boy”: a shrieking female voice said to him. “I will not take care of useless you forever”

END OF FLASHBACK

Harry lowered his head as he remembered what happened when he protested at the Dursley's. His attention turned to the Potion Master.

“I know that you like nappie. It is so easy to use. It’s there. Yet, wouldn’t be nice if you could go to the toilet like a big boy? Like, your friend Mr. . . . . I mean your friend Ron Weasley does.”

“Wuon no wears nappy?” Harry asked admiringly.

“No he doesn’t” Snape commented. “It will not be easy at first, but I know that you will be able to learn. And then, you can be truly a big boy”

“But bowl big,” Harry hesitated “What if me falls?”

Snape twitched an eye as he tried to suppress a giggle that threatened to escape from his lips. Giving himself a mental note that the situation was not funny at all, he spoke to Harry as if his fears were perfectly valid.

“The seat is indeed big, that is why you will use a potty at first. A potty is perfect for you. . . . It is small. . . . When you are ready, I will let you use the toilet-seat, just like I allowed you to have a bath in the grown-up bathtub.”

It took a lot of time for Harry to agree to even see his potty. Snape had decided to let Potter feel safe around his potty. Therefore the next day, after Harry’s bath, he left the boy naked on the mattress-like carpet and brought the potty inside the room. The potty was a plastic white replica of a toilet seat, which was exactly at Harry’s height. The boy, who was enjoying the freedom nakedness was providing him with, looked at ‘the bowl’ intensively, but he did not approach it. Snape knew that the boy needed time. It was ten minutes later that Harry went near the potty and Snape knew that in a few days, he was going to be allowed to proceed.

)-)-)

Meanwhile, it seemed that the early stages of potty-training was not going to be Snape’s only problem. It is a fact that during the age of two to six; children have a wonderful ability to learn new words almost immediately. In fact, as Snape was about to find out, even though children do not know what a word means, they know in what situation to use it. Baby Harry was bombarded with many words every day. He heard them in the Great Hall, in the castle’s corridors, in the Hospital Wing, almost everywhere, for the castle was full of teenagers and grown-ups. Yet, Harry was to find out that not all words were good.

Everything had started when baby Harry had refused to eat during lunch. Snape was slightly surprised as the toddler would eat nothing he was given even though he was not used to having a choice to refuse when he was in the Dursley's. Yet, it seemed that baby Harry was determined to keep his mouth shut. Snape had retreated to every solution he could master. He protruded the spoon and held it there. Nothing. He used the ‘here-comes-the-Hogwarts-Express’ trick, to the students’ amusement and snickering. Nothing. He vexed. Nothing.

“Harry you are not leaving this high-chair, if you don’t eat.” Snape said in a silky, but threatening, manner.

The boy pouted but, seeing that he could not avoid it, opened his mouth and started eating his spaghetti. By the time they would arrive at Snape’s chamber, the black-robed professor was seriously thinking the possibility of throttling baby Harry. The baby boy seemed to turn back into a menace. Apart from refusing to eat his food, Snape had to drag him all the way to his chamber since he did not want to have a nap.

“No, no, no, no!” Harry protested and freed himself from Snape’s grasp.

“Harry, please stay where you are.” Snape said trying to control his anger, and then moved towards Potter.

“LE ME AWON YOU, YOU, YOU, BATAWD!” he screamed. Immediately he felt silent, as he observed his guardian’s reactions.

Snape felt as if someone had slapped him hard across the face. He had never expected that he would hear a young boy swear into such a hideous manner. Actually, he never expected Harry to swear ever. He was not naïve, he knew that Potter as a teenager must have sworn a couple of times, but he still could not believe it.

“Harry Potter,” Snape said seriously “that was a very, very bad word. I am going to leave you alone for a while and then we will discuss what happened just now” he concluded and entered to the little room where his mother’s portrait was hanging.

)-)-)

“I can only say one thing son. Welcome to the club,” Snape’s mother said smiling slightly at her son, who had just described the event with the toddler. “Every parent, or guardian in your case, has to face this one day.”

“But bastard? Where on Circe’s Potions had he learnt such a word?”

“Son,” Mrs. Snape said in desperation, “you are in a school. Do you know how many words the boy hears every day? The word and tone of a person’s voice grasped his attention and he simply learnt it. He does not know what it means, though I can guess he understood now that it is a bad word. What I believe is that something triggered him into using that word to you.”

“So what do you propose mother? Oh I know, maybe I must talk to him about it,” Snape said sarcastically.

“Actually Severus, that is exactly what was I to propose. And many things more,” Mrs. Snape said in triumph as her son paled.

)-)-)

Severus Snape emerged from the room. In his eyes there was a slight spark of anguish that he immediately dismissed when he sat near the boy. Baby Harry was looking at him seriously.

“Harry . . .” Snape started seriously. “You hear new words every day. Not all of them are necessarily good. These words must not escape your mouth. Like the one you said before.”

“Batawd?”

“Yes . . . That one. This was a very, very bad word.”

“You. . . Be me?” Harry asked looking at his guardian in fear.

“No, no, I will not beat you. I will just say that you should not do it again. . . You know, you said this word because you are angry. What made you that angry?”

Baby Harry looked at Snape. He actually wanted to know what had caused his anger. No one before had ever asked him such a thing.

“You . . . you . . . were bad to Bibi. You mean him” baby Harry protested, his lip quivering slightly.

“I did? When?”

“Mowning.”

Snape let his memory travel to the morning’s events. He woke up, dressed himself and then tried to dress the boy. Baby Harry refused to let Bibi from his grasp, something that made the procedure very difficult. Snape, who lacked the typical amounts of patience due to morning grogginess, absent-mindedly took the toy away and tossed it aside. Now he remembered.

“Harry. . . I am sorry I took Bibi away. It seems that I am not very patient in the mornings.” Snape said with a hidden guilt. “But I think it is good that you talked about it. You must say what you feel. Don’t you just feel better now?”

Harry nodded.

“When you are angry, talk of what troubles you. It is better than bad words.” Snape commented trying to keep indifferent.

)-)-)

The next two weeks passed fairly quickly. Baby Harry had started consuming the idea of sitting on a potty one day soon. Though he had not yet tried it, he seemed to view the potty, which was now placed near the toilet seat, as something normal. Snape had asked the baby boy to announce him when he would ‘do his job’ inside the diaper. Then he would proceed by removing it, and throw its context inside the potty.

That afternoon Snape was reading an article about the side-effects of mandagora in the cases the plant was not stewed properly. His lip curled slightly as he read about the case of someone called Quartet. The ripe, and not properly-stewed, mandagora root had caused the man to bloat up like a huge balloon. He was transferred to St. Mango’s hospital where he was kept bloated for three days. When the potion’s effect seized, the Healers examined him and gave him a potion in order to mend his three broken ribs. Snape looked at the photograph of a bloated man lying on one of St. Mango’s hospital beds. He sighed. Why couldn’t people be careful when brewing potions?

He was thinking about this when a little hand tagged his right trouser. The man ripped his eyes from the picture and stared at the little child.

“Sevvus, wan to play whymes?”

Damn the day I taught him this things,” Snape cursed inside, feeling uncomfortable. When he had agreed to teach the boy a few nursery rhymes in order to stop him from swearing, he could never suspect that the boy would construct a game of his own. It was the most outrageous thing he could ever do.

“Pweeeaaaassseeee!” baby Harry asked pleadingly, yet in some uncertainty.

Snape looked at the boy’s pleading eyes and sighed. He could not believe himself, but he was actually thinking of accepting.

No you cannot do it. It is preposterous,” a stubborn voice echoed inside his head. Snape, however, sighed in defeat as he mumbled a weak ‘yes’. He, then, stood up and moved towards the centre of the room. There, he took Harry’s hands in his own and muttering to himself that he was doomed; he started moving. Harry started singing.

“Lonon Bwid is foying down,

“Foying down,

“Foying down.

“Lonon Bwid is foying down,

“My faiw lady.”

“Come on Sevvus!” Harry said merrily as he skipped. “You tuwn”

Ok, ok!” Snape though in annoyance “I can’t…”

“Take a key and lock her up”

. . . I simply can’t . . .”

“Lock her up,”

“Lock her up.”

. . . Believe . . .”

“Take a key and lock her up,”

. . . I am doing this right now. . .”

“My fair lady.”

It’s totally insane!”

)-)-)

“Ahem, this is all for today Harry” Snape said when the song finished, trying to recollect himself from the embarrassment. He wondered for a while on how Harry, as a teenager, would react when he would learn that they were singing nursery rhymes together. He had no time to contemplate on that thought, however, since he felt another tug on his right trousers.

“Sevvus. I need go wee-wee.”

Snape raised an eyebrow.

“So, do so Harry.”

“No, I want to wee-wee on potty!” baby Harry said in determination.

In his wildest and most optimistic dreams, Snape imagined Harry doing ‘his work’ in the potty quickly without trouble. Yet it seemed that this was not going to be the case. Snape found himself staring at a half-naked Harry Potter, who sat on his potty, for over fifteen minutes. Snape had tried every possible mean to help Harry release himself. He produced soothing sounds, they talked and he even read him a story. Nothing helped. At last Snape found himself sitting on the bathroom tiles and whistling to himself.

“Maybe me no wanted to go.” Harry muttered in uncertainty and stood up.

Unfortunately it seemed that Harry wanted to go, for as soon as he stood up he felt a warm sensation spreading down his legs. Snape looked down as a small pool of liquid spread on the bathroom tiles. For a moment, he felt the urge to laugh on the irony. Harry, however, felt in no position to laugh at all.

FLASHBACK

“INCOMPETENT, USELESS BRAT!” a female voice shrieked in his ear and then a hand slapped the back of his head. “LOOK THE FILTHINESS ON MY FLOOR! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! GO TO THE CUPBOARD! NOW! AND DON’T LET ME CATCH YOU OUTSIDE!”

END OF FLASHBACK

Snape watched baby Harry. His eyes stared at him in horror as he paled in an almost ghostly white. Breathing heavily he let a wail and run outside the bathroom as quickly as he could.

Shit!” Snape thought immediately, as he summoned for a house-elf to appear in the bathroom. The house-elf looked at the small pool on the floor and started cleaning it, while Snape hurried outside the bathroom.

Snape heard some sniffles and tried to find Harry’s hiding place. A small wail was muffled as he leaned down and looked under his bed. He was not there. He looked under his desk, before noticing that the wardrobe’s door was barely open. He opened the door and saw Harry. He had bared his head into the Bibi’s soft body, while he was trying to muffle his whimper. That moment, Severus Snape wished the wardrobe was larger, so that he could enter it, sit next to the boy and comfort him. He sat near the wardrobe’s opening and placed his trembling hand on the boy’s head. The boy flinched, but remained still as the man kept patting his head. Snape stroked the boy’s soft hair in uncertainty. It was the only thing he could think of doing at that moment. He stayed at the same spot, while Harry wails turned louder. Finally they subdued.

“So-sowwy Sevvus. Me – me no waned to be ooseless.” Harry said sniffing and hiccupping.

“It’s fine Harry. Every child makes a mistake at his first time. I did too.”

“You did?” Harry asked while he let another hiccup.

“Well, you can say so. You know, you were very brave today. You decided to try in your potty. This is as important as achieving it.”

“Weally?”

“Really. Now come on, it’s time for a bath” he said and offered the boy his hand.

Harry looked at Snape for a moment and then raised his hands up to allow his guardian to take him into his arms. Snape did so and moved to the bathroom, while he felt baby Harry’s moist cheek against his.

Chapter End Notes:
Wow I can’t believe another chapter is officially finished. Can I beg for reviews?In case you wonder, when the chapter finishes, Hogwarts is on the first week of February.

Vocabulary

Gwon-up bathab!” To the grown-up’s bathtub.

Harry big boy now!” Harry is a big boy now.

But me likes nappy!” But I like my nappy.

Wuon no wears nappy?” Ron does not wear a nappy?

But bowl big,” But the bowl is big.

What if me fall?” “What if I fall inside?”

LE ME AWON YOU, YOU, YOU, BATAWD!” LEAVE ME ALONE YOU, YOU, YOU, BASTARD!

You. . . Be me?” You will beat me?

You . . . you . . . were bad to Bibi. You mean him” You were bad towards Bibi. You were mean to him.

Mowning.” In the morning

Sevvus, wan to play whymes?” “Sevvus, do you want to play rhymes?”

Pweeeaaaassseeee!” Pleeeeeaaassseeee!

Lonon Bwid is foying down, “London Bridge is falling down,

Foying down, “Falling down,

Foying down. “Falling down,

Lonon Bwid is foying down, “London Bridge is falling down

My faiw lady” “My fair lady”

You tuwn Your turn

Sevvus. I need go wee-wee.” Sevvus I need to wee-wee.

No, I want to wee-wee on potty!” No I want to wee-wee in my potty.

Maybe me no wanted to go.” Maybe I didn’t want to go!

So-sowwy Sevvus. Me – me no waned to be ooseless.” Sorry Sevvus. I did no wanted to be useless

AUTHOR NOTES (PLEASE READ THEM AFTER YOU FINISH)

IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE 1: Both Parkinson’s letter-writing and the fact that Snape does some research are important aspects of the fanfic. I refuse to say more.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE 2: The part where the nursery song is in proper speech, Snape is singing. Go on laugh your heads off. .

 


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