"Fine, I'll try and teach him again!" Snape snarled at Professor Dumbledore.

"Severus, please, for me, don't take all those old wounds that you gained from James out on Harry. Harry is not James - do not blame him for what happened." Dumbledore spoke quietly, but his blue eyes held a warning.

Snape sighed in frustration. "Don't worry, I won't harm a hair on the golden boy's head."

"Severus, try to do more than not harm him; Harry is suffering more deeply than anyone knows. Be patient with him." Dumbledore put a hand on Snape's shoulder. "Be kind - everyone appreciates some kindness."

Snape's mask dropped for a second and he gave Dumbledore a haunted look as he remembered a time when Dumbledore had granted him such a kindness.

He gave a curt nod and exited Dumbledore's office.

He encountered Harry in the hallway with his ever-growing menagerie of Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna. "Potter, come to my office," he snarled at him, not pausing to speak or wait for a response, but instead continuing to his office at a clipped pace.

Ron cast Harry a sympathetic look while Hermione squeezed his arm in support. Dumbledore had warned Harry that Snape would have to be the one to continue his Occlumency lessons. It was just too dangerous for Dumbledore to do it and Snape was the most skilled instructor at Hogwarts.

Harry went reluctantly - very reluctantly. He had argued with Dumbledore against the need for the lessons, and with Sirius gone he just didn't care if he ever learned them. He had barely walked into Snape's office before he was snarled at.

"All right, Potter, now that you have gotten your way again and fooled Dumbledore into doing exactly what you want, let's get something straight..."

Harry glared defiantly at Snape. He hated him almost as much as he hated Voldemort. He interrupted: "I didn't fool anyone, I told the truth. I don't want these lessons!" Then, as an afterthought, he added, "If you're still mad at me for looking into your pensieve, I am sorry, I shouldn't have done it. And I'm sorry for what my father did, but I'm not my father!" He shouted the last bit at Snape.

Snape smirked sarcastically, "And I suppose the Dark Lord wants you over for his next tea party!"

Harry's anger rose. "I'm not lying!" he yelled at Snape, frustration and anger evident on his face as his green eyes blazed. "I don't want to take these lessons! I don't care, it's too late, Sirius is gone."

Snape smiled at him maliciously. "Yes Sirius is DEAD, but don't you care about Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley, and the rest of your entourage? Do you really not care if they follow Sirius into the veil or perhaps, like Diggory, end up dead at your feet?"

Harry blanched. Before he could respond to Snape's words, Snape waved his wand and shouted "Legilimens". Harry was completely unprepared. His last conscious thought was that Snape obviously wanted to punish him for looking into the pensieve. The memories came racing: he was back at the ministry of magic and he once again felt the incredible, unbearable pain he experienced when Voldemort possessed him. It lasted only a moment before Snape ended the spell. Harry found himself collapsed on the floor and gasping for breath, his heart racing wildly as he trembled.

Snape had paled considerably when he saw Harry's memory. Apparently Dumbledore hadn't given him all the details. With disgust and anger, he reached down and grabbed Harry by the scruff of the neck and pulled him to his feet. "You have to concentrate and be on your guard at all times. The Dark Lord would enjoy knowing how much you hurt."

Still shaking from the aftereffects, Harry turned accusing yet pain-filled eyes on Snape and managed to hoarsely whisper, "You are just as cruel and evil as Voldemort."

A surge of anger coursed through Snape. His hand shook and with his eyes narrowed at Harry's insult, he waved his wand again. "Legilimens".

This time Harry relived Bellatrix Lestrange's curse on Sirius and then saw again, as if in slow motion,Sirius fall though the veil. He also relived Lupin grabbing him to prevent him from running after his godfather into the veil. He heard his mind pleading with Dumbledore to kill him while Voldemort possessed him so that he could see Sirius again. All of sudden, the memories ended. Harry had collapsed onto the cold stone floor yet again. This time, though, uncontrollable tears coursed down his face as he shook like a leaf. He brokenly whispered, "Sirius... I miss you."

Snape stood still, frozen by what he had seen. Dumbledore's words washed over him and his own pledge not to harm Harry began to gnaw at him. He swallowed heavily, guilt tugging at his soul. Potter lay huddled on the floor, taking deep breaths and trying desperately to control his emotions. He slowly tried to rise to his feet. Instinctively, Snape reached out, grabbing him just above his elbows. "Don't get up so fast, Potter."

Harry's head came up and he glared at Snape. In a tear-filled, choked voice he demanded, "Get your hands off me! I hate you, I hate you! You hoped that Voldemort would kill me, and you no doubt celebrated when Sirius, when Sirius..." His eyes flooded with tears again and his voice ended in a sob. He started to slide back down the wall, his shaking legs unable to hold his weight..

Snape went down with him. His heart felt as though a knife had pierced it when Potter had looked at him with those green, tear-filled eyes - Lily's eyes. Racking sobs shook Potter's body, as his hair fell over his forehead and he succumbed to a flood of long held back tears, years of anguish all culminating in this moment.

Snape stayed close to the grieving boy, but was careful not to touch him. "I didn't want Sirius dead, and I don't want you dead." He took a deep breath. "I could have said 'no' to Dumbledore, but I didn't. I want to help you." Snape quietly spoke close to Harry's ear.

Inhaling sharply and getting his emotions under control momentarily, Harry choked out, "Liar, Dumbledore made you." He pushed hard against Snape, trying to knock him back away from him. He hated so much for Snape, of all people at Hogwarts, to see him like this. He never cried in front of anyone; he almost had once in front of Lupin, but he quickly wiped away the tears. The only other time he almost did was when Mrs. Weasley held him after Cedric died. Yet, here he was in his enemy's office and he couldn't fight off this awful, all-encompassing, suffocating, raw pain. Angry with himself, as well as with Snape, he again pushed at him.

Snape grabbed his arms and calmly, yet sternly, said, "Stop it, none of this will bring Black back!" Harry's fists closed over Snape's robe but then another wave of pain and loss washed over him and his head dropped to hide his face. Snape's arms wrapped around Harry's shaking shoulders. Harry tried to fight against him, but Snape's grip tightened and in a firm whisper he responded, "Shush, stop fighting this. You need to let go, let all of that pain, frustration, hurt, and helplessness out."

Before Harry consciously realized what he was doing, he found himself sobbing into Snape's robes and whispering "Sirius" over and over again.

Snape rested his chin on Harry's black hair. As he grew quiet, Snape loosened his grip and pulled back. Harry's hands immediately shot up to wipe all traces of the tears from his face.

"You need not be embarrassed," Snape said quietly.

"I'm not," Harry responded, louder than he had meant to.

Snape stood up. "Good, if crying in front of me, or rather on me, doesn't faze you, then we should be able to move

right onto Occlumency again."

Harry closed his eyes tightly, misery washing over him. As his throat closed up, he managed to croak out, "Please no." He felt too awful to even get up, let alone continue with this lesson. He felt sick and dizzy. He put his hands over his face and concentrated on his breathing.

He felt Snape's hands grab him by the shoulders again and lift him lightly to his feet. "Don't worry, I wasn't serious, Potter. You are in no shape to do anything useful tonight."

Harry nodded and attempted to head to the door. He wavered, though, feeling suddenly like he was going to be sick.

Snape once again grabbed him by the shoulders and guided him over to a comfortable old recliner and then left him for a moment. Harry collapsed into the chair, feeling too miserable to even look up. He heard a bottle being uncorked and then Snape held the bottle up to his mouth. "Drink this." Harry's stomach lurched violently and he turned his head away.

"It will settle your stomach," Snape explained patiently, still holding the bottle up to him. He had also added some dreamless sleep potion, but decided against informing Potter. He was quite certain that Potter had no inclination to spend the night asleep in his office.

Harry glanced up at him and then, with a barely audible whisper, said "thanks" before slowly downing it in big gulps.

Snape took the bottle back to be refilled. He grabbed a warm comforter from a cupboard and placed it over Harry, who had instantly fallen into an exhausted sleep. He then sat down across from him with a deep, frustrated sigh. He had been deeply disturbed to learn that Potter had asked for death from Dumbledore when Voldemort possessed him. Dumbledore had kept that carefully quiet, but no wonder the old man was worried about him. Dumbledore was right, as usual. The Boy Who Lived suffered unbearably. When Potter had last looked at him with those wary, haunted, long-lashed eyes - Lily's eyes - the realization had fully hit him that he didn't really hate Potter. He may have hated James, but he never hated Lily. If she could see what had happened to her baby, she would be pleading with him to take care of Harry. Snape sighed deeply again, looking at the sleeping teen. Regret edged heavily in his voice as he spoke: "I'm... I'm sorry Potter." He closed his eyes; it was torture saying that out loud, even if no one was awake to hear him. Years of bottled up hate against a dead enemy's son were hard to release, even if it was just into a solitary silence. He opened his eyes again, staring at Potter's limp form and softly added, "I really don't hate you... I can't hate you because" he paused then, before adding in a tormented voice, barely above a whisper, "I loved your mother."

_____________________________________________________________

Harry sighed contentedly and stretched. He felt so warm and safe and for the first time in a long time he had had a great night's rest. He listened for the sounds of Ron and the others waking up, but heard nothing. Puzzled, he opened his eyes and saw a room that was definitely not in the Gryffindor house. He sat up abruptly. Seeing his glasses on a table next to him, he quickly put them on. Then it hit him, the terrible sick feeling low in his stomach. He was in Snape's office! The previous night's events flooded back to him, and he shivered with the horror of what had transpired. His eyes darted around the room. Thankfully, Snape was no where in sight. He tossed back the warm comforter and realized that he wasn't wearing shoes. He scanned the floor and found them neatly placed beside the chair that he had slept in. His brow furrowed, 'did Snape bother to take off my shoes?' The thought was very unsettling, to say the least. He bolted to the door and up the stairs to his quarters. They were empty when he arrived and for the first time he glanced at a clock and realized with a sharp intake of air that it was quarter to 11:00am. He had missed Divination and he was due in Potions in 15 minutes. He took the quickest of showers and changed his clothes. The thought of going into Potions was too overwhelming to think about. What would Snape do? What would he say? Harry forced himself to take a few deep breaths to slow his racing heart. A huge knot formed in his stomach and he closed his eyes for a moment, wondering if he could handle the humiliation.

'Don't let the enemy see your weakness,' he thought to himself, but then again it was too late for that as far as Snape was concerned; He had seen him at his most weak and desperate moments last night. A surge of anger shot through Harry: How dare Snape make him relive Sirius's death! How dare he restrain him! How dare he make him spend a night sleeping in his office! 'But it was the best nights sleep you had in a long time,' the little voice in the back of his mind said. Still, with this ammunition Snape would make his life a living hell. He would constantly throw the events of the previous evening back in his face. "Potter cried on me, Potter cried on me..." In total misery, Harry made his way to potions class.

"Harry, Harry! Where have you been? Ron said you didn't sleep in your bed last night. Where were you? We were so worried." Hermione ran over to him. "Are you ok? You look really pale."

Harry looked at her and opened his mouth to say something, but for a moment couldn't think of how to explain things. He couldn't tell her and Ron the truth; he didn't want them to know what had happened because they would be horrified. "I, um, I fell asleep in the library."

"Ouch! That couldn't have been very comfortable," teased Ron.

Harry forced himself to smile. "No it wasn't; those tables are hard." Hermione looked at him suspiciously.

He walked into potions being very careful to not look to the front of the room.

When everyone was seated, Snape started in on the lesson.

"Today, we will be learning how to make a remedy from the herb that is on your table. Does anyone know what that herb is?"

Hermoine's hand shot up, but Snape's focus seemed to be on Harry, who was staring at the herb very hard.

"Potter! Can you tell the class what this is?"

Harry cringed; he hadn't expected Snape to target him so quickly and he felt himself break out into a sweat. Taking a breath, he forced himself to look up at Snape. The dark eyes were staring at him unblinkingly.

"Well Potter, I haven't got all day!" He snapped, impatiently moving closer.

"I don't know."

"Didn't you do your homework last night?" Snape threw at him, now standing in front of his table.

"No, I wasn't feeling well." Harry responded, his heart racing with the certainty that Snape would now reveal what happened in front of the entire class.

"I see. Are you feeling better now?" he asked with a raised brow.

Harry nodded miserably.

"Good. Then hopefully you'll be able to remember that this is Chamomile."

Snape reached down, picked up a leaf and held it up, continuing with the lesson. "Combined with red clover, it is good for curing a nervous stomach and helps to overcome shock." He walked back to the front of the classroom. "Take out your cauldrons and make this remedy. The instructions are on the board." He glared at Neville. "Longbottom, I trust that you remembered to bring your cauldron this time?"

Neville nodded, pulling it out from under the desk.

"I know it will be virtually impossible, but do try not to melt it this time." Snape inwardly fumed. He wanted someone to pick on and couldn't quite make up his mind whether or not to target Potter. After last night, he seemed too vulnerable; it would have felt like kicking a puppy. He was hoping instead for some cocky, arrogant move on his part this morning, but instead Potter came in looking annoyingly humble. He barely made eye contact. Then it dawned on him: he was embarrassed! James Potter had certainly never been embarrassed. Unlike Snape himself, who had perpetually been embarrassed and humiliated at school. How ironic that Potter's son, at this moment, felt the same way.

His thoughts were interrupted when Malfoy's voice vented the air. "Hey Potty, you should make some of this potion for yourself, you'll need it." Draco laughed maliciously.

Snape's gaze snapped to Potter. Harry looked up at Snape, his eyes flashing dangerously with anger. He thrust his chin out and grabbed his books and cauldron and stormed towards the door.

"Potter, get back to your seat!" Snape commanded sternly. Malfoy and some of the Slytherins started laughing.

"Potter get back here or 50 points off of Gryffindor!!!"

Potter went out the door, slamming it loudly behind him. Snape tore after him. "Class, keep working on your potions! I expect them to be finished when I return!" he added in a menacing tone.

"Oooo, Potty's really in trouble." Malfoy cackled with glee as Snape went out the door.

Snape sprinted down the hall, catching Potter by the scruff of the neck. "What is the meaning of this? You do not have permission to just get up and leave whenever the whim hits you! You are just like your father, thinking that you can do whatever you want when you want to do it!" Snape snarled at him.

Harry turned furiously. "I'm not my father Get over it!!! If anyone is like my father, it's YOU! You hate him because he humiliated you, yet you turn around and continuously do the same thing! I never did anything to you, at least not on purpose, and you," Harry stopped to take a deep breath, "you take one of the worst nights of my life and you relate it to someone like Malfoy who will use it to humiliate me over and over again. Well I guess that you are enjoying yourself. Well done!"

Snape, who was still gripping Harry's collar, gave him a shake. "Listen and listen to me good," Snape said in a low growl. "I did not, nor do I intend to tell anyone, aside from Dumbledore, the occurrences of last night."

Snape's dark eyes bore into Harry's green ones as Harry struggled to find his voice. "But he said..."

"You and I both know that Mr. Malfoy runs off at the mouth. He has teased you about various things over the years. He was just trying to get a rise out of you, and obviously he has succeeded admirably."

Harry, not breaking eye contact with Snape, shook his head. "So if it is just teasing, why did you hate my father so much? Didn't he just tease you? What they did was no different than what you do and what you encourage others to do!"

Snape's hand at his neck shook slightly. Harry wasn't sure whether it was from extreme anger at his words or if it was because he had hit a nerve. Snape growled again. "I don't encourage that behavior in anyone!"

Harry challenged him. "Of course you do! You never deduct points from anyone in Slytherin. They can threaten and humiliate and treat everyone else like their feelings don't matter. I've seen you smile and laugh when Draco does it. What my father did to you was wrong, but that doesn't give you the right to enjoy it when others do it!"

"You don't understand the situation," Snape said menacingly.

"I guess not!" Harry finally shook off Snape's hand. "Just leave me alone and stay away from me!" He started walking down the hall when Snape's voice came after him. "You are to be in my office on Friday at 7:00pm. Do not be late!"

Harry stormed off to the Gryffindor Rooms not bothering to answer or look back.

Snape felt like a wall of fire was creeping up his skin. He was furious! How dare Potter tell him how he should act! Potter didn't have a clue about anything! He walked back into his classroom, slamming the door loudly behind him, making all the students jump. Longbottom dropped his ladle full of potion onto the floor, causing Snape to throw him a piercing dark look that made him scramble to the floor to clean it up.

He proceeded to move from student to student, finding fault with every potion. Ms. Granger's was, as usual, perfect, but he sneered at it, implying that the color was slightly off. She snorted in anger at him and he took five points off of Gryffindor for it. It pleased him to annoy her; she was, after all, Potter's friend.

"Clean up your areas and when you are done you are dismissed!"

The students scrambled to finish and left rather quickly, sensing that he was in a fouler mood than usual.

The only ones left were Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"What's taking you three so long?"

Draco answered, "I'm brewing up something that will shake up this school."

"What?" Snape asked in a suspicious tone, making his way over to the cauldron.

Crabbe and Goyle backed away and left the room in a hurry.

"Cowards," sniffed Draco. He looked at Snape with malevolent glee. " I've mixed some Belladonna and foxglove with an infusion of arsenicum. All that needs to be done is to slip some of it into Potter and Dumbledore's drinks and we'll be rid of them and the death eaters and the Dark Lord can take over the school and then we..."

Draco never had a chance to finish his sentence because something snapped inside of Snape. His anger over Potter's words combined with a horror over what he was hearing. A blind fury possessed him; he roughly pulled Draco away from the cauldron and backhanded him hard, knocking him into the wall.

"Are you insane!!! You stupid little boy! Where did you get the ingredients? Did you break into my locked cupboard?" He shouted at Draco, who lay crumpled against the wall, blood from his bleeding lip trickling down his chin. His eyes were wide with shock and anguish.

Snape, with a feeling akin to having a bucket of ice water splashed over him, froze. He suddenly realized what he had done; he had hit a student and it had been Draco of all students. Draco, who had always been his favorite. Shocked by his own actions, he dropped down on the floor beside him.

He sighed deeply, regret heavy in his voice. "I didn't mean to hit you...but what you have done..." He reached for Draco's arm to help him up but Draco pulled back.

"Why?" Draco asked hoarsely. "Of all the people here at Hogwarts, you're the one who knows. I trusted you!" Draco said haltingly. He bent his head to take a ragged breath. "How could you do this." He scrambled to his feet. Snape grabbed his arm, causing Draco to look up at him, his gray eyes full of disillusionment and accusation. "You are the only person in the world..." His voice faded as his head dropped and he focused on the floor.

Snape's heart gave a painful jump, "Here let me see." He gently gripped Draco's pointed chin, lifting his face. He gingerly touched the jaw, noting the red mark his hand had left on Draco's pale skin. His lip had split at one corner, but it had stopped bleeding. The straight blond hair, so much like Lucius', had fallen over Draco's eyes. A single tear worked its way down his cheek, but with a snort of disgust he quickly wiped it away.

Snape shook his head and said quietly. "I'll get a potion that will help hide the bruise." Then, staring at the boy, he added, "Draco, we have to talk about this."

Draco pulled his arm out of Snape's grasp and tore out of the room. Snape let him go. Numbly, he collapsed into his chair, his eyes closed.

Why hadn't he just stayed in bed for the last two days. First the disturbing revelations about Potter last night. Now he had taken away the last tiny shred of trust that Draco Malfoy possessed, and with it likely his only chance of saving him from becoming a Death Eater.

Potter was right, although Snape would rather have died than admit it. He always turned a blind eye and ear to Malfoy's antics. He did it out of fondness for Draco and because he knew of the hellish life the boy suffered and the likely fate of a life in hell that awaited him. He suspected Draco would blindly strive for the darkness that Voldemort offered in the endless hope of impressing his father.

Lucius had been Snape's sole ally in school, the one who had sided with him against the Potter gang. From that, a friendship had grown. He was there when Lucius had married. He had known Draco practically from the day he was born. Sadly, he had also witnessed the increasing coldness and harsh demands Lucius placed on his son. Even though Draco was given every material possession a pampered prince could hope for, there was never any love. As Draco grew older, Lucius grew more violent and Draco had latched onto Snape, correctly sensing someone who cared for him. Snape never knew exactly how bad things had become until late into the summer after Draco's first year when the boy had ended up in his office at Hogswarts, bruised and bleeding. His words still burned in Snape's soul. "I had no one but you to turn too." Snape had been horrified to see Draco's back in shreds where Lucius, after an intense argument, had whipped him for losing out to Granger and Potter and, most importantly, for not stopping Potter from thwarting Voldemort. Snape had hidden him in his office and with various potions had helped him to recover in time for the start of classes. He had marveled at how tough Draco had been. He never once cried or whimpered when the potions were applied, even though Snape knew they burned like fire. He remembered back to year 3, when Draco faked his arm injury long after it had healed in order to avoid another Quidditch match with Potter -- it was obvious he was terrified not only of losing again but also the consequences that came with it. Draco had such few real pleasures in life that when he teased Potter or the others, Snape let him. Sometimes, the bitterness in life made him lash out in the same way. He hadn't realized until today how serious the situation had gotten. In Draco's never-ending attempt to please Lucius, he had concocted the plan to kill both Dumbledore and Potter.

Having come from a violent home himself, Snape knew of the façade Draco put on and he knew how tempting the powerful allure of the dark side was. He wanted to be for Draco what Dumbledore had been for him: A savior in the dark void of emptiness. Someone to give him a purpose and salvation, someone who cared and worried about him, someone who cared whether he lived or died. He sighed deeply. He honestly cared about the boy and he did not want to see him become a Death Eater and a slave to Voldemort. He would have to find a way to regain his trust.

He decided to give Draco the rest of the day to calm down and then he would seek him out and force him to listen.

He sat back, thinking about how different Malfoy and Potter were; yet both, unbeknownst to the other, had suffered so much misery in their young lives.

Potter had somehow risen above it, staying pure of heart while Draco, like himself, had turned to darkness and bitterness.

_____________________________________________________________________________

It was a cold night as Harry made his way down to Snape's office. His anger hadn't abated and the dread just kept growing to a point where he could hardly breathe by the time he got to Snape's door.

He knocked on it hesitantly, wishing fervently that Snape was sick or had forgotten, or was away. But the cold "Come in" he heard from behind the door dashed his meager hopes.

He stepped inside. It had been a full day since he and Snape had had the confrontation in the hallway. Harry had been very grateful that there had been no potions class today. Having to face Snape once today was more than enough.

Snape glared at him, but Harry expected no less.

"Potter, before we start, I want you to sit down and breathe deeply. Try to clear your mind. I don't want any repeats of last time. You need to learn this quickly before the Dark Lord strikes again."

'What do you care,' sprinted through Harry's mind. He, however, followed Snape's instructions. After all, he, even more than Snape, did not want a repeat of last time. Once was humiliating enough.

Snape watched as Potter sat in the chair closing his eyes and obviously concentrating. He was surprised he had obeyed so quickly. He had fully expected an argument and the usual arrogant I-know-better-lip from him. It helped his mood, somewhat. He was very worried about Draco and what he was up to, and he was also still angry at Potter's words in the hallway. He had to resist the desire to grab Potter and shake him.

Harry opened his eyes and glared at Snape.

"Ready? Get up then," Snape said in a quiet, controlled voice.

"On the count of three: one, two, three. Legilimens!"

At first nothing happened, images flashed through his mind, blurry images he couldn't make out. Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on wiping out the images, making them blank. He could hear his breathing becoming labored and felt his body being engulfed in a cold sweat. Then he realized the spell had ended and he shakily grasped the edge of the chair. He looked up searchingly into Snape's eyes. For a second, he thought he had actually seen a real smile flicker across Snape's face, but then the dark scowl crossed over his features again.

"That was a bit better, Potter," Snape grudgingly admitted.

Harry snorted in anger. "Why can't you just give credit when it's warranted? You are always so quick so insult and criticize but so reluctant to say 'Job well done.'"

Snape gritted his teeth. "When I believe you have done an admirable job I will say so. I'm not so dimwitted to jump on the Prince Potter's bandwagon until I see ample evidence to do so. What just happened was a tiny improvement, but unless it progresses, it is virtually insignificant. I gave you time to prepare yourself in circumstances that were calm. If it were the Dark Lord, he would not be that considerate. Should we put it to the test?"

Harry, feeling rather confident at the moment, nodded.

"Are you sure now?" Snape asked in his calm, deadly voice. "Because you may witness Cedric dying again, or perhaps your parents coming out of the Dark Lord's wand, or even Sirius falling through the veil."

Something clenched Harry's heart and anger overwhelmed him. "STOP IT! Stop trying to dredge up all the horrible things that have happened to me! You are a miserable..." He never got to finish because Snape spit out "Legilimens".

Instantly, Harry relived seeing himself as the snake practically killing Mr. Weasley, blood spurting out, an unbearable pain in his head. He doubled over and threw up.

Snape instantly ended the spell and waved his wand, making the mess disappear.

Harry found himself covered in an icy sweat on the floor. Miserably, he sat up and curled his knees to his chest. His head sank as he shivered and his stomach cramped up. Snape had been right. He was no further ahead. He felt something smooth and cool by his cheek. "Harry?". He opened his eyes to see Snape holding a bottle by his face. He took it and downed it, knowing that it would settle his stomach. Handing it back to Snape, he bitterly asked while furiously blinking back tears, "Are you happy now? Can't wait to tell Malfoy you were right?"

An odd look crossed Snape's features as he sat down beside him. "Do you think that seeing you fail at this over and over again, makes me happy? I'm teaching you this for you and your safety. I'm certainly not doing this to amuse myself." He then added with a dangerous note in his voice, "As for Draco, are you deaf Potter, or do you just have a short memory? I already told you that what happens here will only go as far as Dumbledore's ears."

Harry's head dropped to his knees again as he took a couple of deep breaths, waiting for the potion to kick in. It puzzled Snape how Potter could be so arrogant as to make his blood boil one moment and then the next look so vulnerable that he actually felt a stab of pity for him. He shook his head; it was time to focus on moving this process forward.

"That's enough now, Potter. Can you stand up?"

Harry nodded, albeit still feeling a bit queasy.

"Come over here to my desk and take a seat," Snape ordered.

With a sigh, Harry sat down across from Snape.

Snape's hand rubbed his chin as he contemplated Potter. "Who do you trust the most?"

Harry, reluctant to answer, swallowed hard, his heart beating frantically.

"Is it that too hard of a question?" Snape probed.

"Why do you want to know?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Don't be so paranoid, Potter. I only want to know because I want you to talk to someone who you feel you can trust," Snape responded, his dark eyes narrowing.

"Ron and Hermione, I guess," Harry answered tentatively.

Snape immediately shook his head. "No, I mean an adult."

A well of emotion overtook Harry as he thought of Sirius, but he fought it

down. "Lupin, I suppose."

"Lupin. He'll do. We can't continue like this. It's too draining on you, and we aren't accomplishing much. I want you to talk to Lupin about everything - your parents, your time with your aunt and uncle, Diggory's death, the Dark Lord's possession of you and," he hesitated briefly, "and Black’s death. You are so full of pain and guilt and that makes you easy prey. You haven't dealt with any of this properly; you've just hidden it barely under the surface. We cannot continue until you have come to terms with these events."

Harry looked up with fury in his eyes. "Come to terms with it!!! Sirius died because YOU kicked me out of Occlumency, because you didn't go to Sirius and keep him at Grimmauld place because..." he stopped, breathing heavily, unable to continue.

Anger flitted through Snape's gaze briefly then he closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself. "I see. So the reason that you are now unable to function properly is my fault?" He peered into Potter's face. "Tell me, then, Potter, am I the one who broke a confidence and looked into your pensieve? Am I the one who didn't apologize for my actions? Perhaps all it would have taken would have been two words, "I'm sorry," for Occlumency lessons to have continued. Am I the one who snuck into Umbridge's office and got caught? Am I the one who didn't go to a professor and tell them what vision I had had so it could have been verified? Was it because of me that Sirius ended up at the Ministry of Magic?"

Potters face crumbled, with a small sob he leapt up and headed for the door. Snape got there ahead of him, effectively blocking his exit.

"Calm down. I didn't say all that to hurt you further, but you need to face the fact that you, too, have made mistakes. Everyone in their lifetime makes mistakes. Actions have consequences, and in your case they were deadly. That does not mean that you are solely responsible. Sirius made mistakes, Dumbledore made mistakes, and yes, I let old wounds and pride overtake me. So if we, as adults, still make mistakes, you, basically still a child, need not shoulder the blame yourself." He hesitated for a moment, then remembered Dumbledore's words. Swallowing heavily, he tentatively reached out and gave Potter's shoulder a quick, what he hoped was reassuring, squeeze. "I'm going to give you some dreamless sleep potion for tonight. Get some rest and come back tomorrow at 2:00pm."

He moved over to his potions, but hearing the door open he realized that Potter had left. Shaking his head, exasperated, he grabbed the bottle and went after him.

Harry tore down the hallway. Snape had touched a raw nerve - he knew it wasn't really Snape's fault just like he knew that he alone was to blame for Sirius' death. He just didn't know what to do. He didn't want to talk to Lupin about this. It was bad enough that Snape regularly saw him at his worst; he didn't want Lupin,who had been his father and godfather's best friend, to see him like that as well. He didn't want to talk to anyone about how he felt. It wouldn't matter; no one could take away that hollow void and the gnawing pain that threatened to overwhelm him. Harry wanted nothing more than to be in the safety of his dorm when he rounded the corner and collided with Malfoy.

"Potty! What's up with you? Is there a Dementor on your tail?" Malfoy snarled viciously. He pulled out his wand. "Because of you, my father is in Azkaban. It's time that you paid for that!" He lifted his wand and pointed it just as

Harry tried to grab for his own wand.

"Cruc..." Draco never completed the word as Snape knocked him sideways. The fury emanating from Snape was palatable. Harry swallowed heavily, as he was sure it was directed at him for leaving his office without permission. Luckily, Snape, in his hurry to get to him, had accidentally bumped into Malfoy.

Snape actually trembled with his anger. He held a shaky hand out to Potter and snarled, "You forgot something." Harry took the potion without a word, and ran as fast as he could back to the Gryffindor tower. As he walked up the stairs, it suddenly occurred to him that at one point during the night, Snape had accidentally called him Harry. It was a puzzling memory.

Meanwhile Snape, in a cloak of fury, turned to Draco.