The following morning Severus awoke with Loki stretched out across his chest. He softly stroked the purring cat who stretched out and kneaded him with his front claws.

Snape then got up and went into his bedroom. Professor Dumbledore was asleep in a chair beside Draco. Draco was still unconscious, his breathing still shallow and laboured. As he approached Dumbledore’s eyes flew open amazingly alert. "He’s still with us Severus."

Snape gently applied a cloth soaked in cooling balm to Draco’s forehead.

Dumbledore got up. He put a hand on Snape’s shoulder. "Sit with him for awhile. I’m going to check on Harry. I will get him to meet you in your office shortly. I’ll arrange to have Minerva stay with Draco while I’m away."

Snape nodded. "Thank you for staying with him last night."

"Were you able to get some sleep?"

Snape nodded again. "I’m feeling better." He looked at Draco. "I’m thankful he’s still with us."

"I promise you Severus, I will do everything my power to ensure that he continues to." Dumbledore vowed quietly.

_________________________________________________________

Harry awoke in Dumbledore’s office. The events from the day before came rushing back. His heart fell to his toes. Colin and Padma were dead, and Draco may be as well by now.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and Dumbledore walked in. The headmaster looked worn and tired.

"Harry, I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning?"

Harry looked away.

"Harry, please remember what we talked about last night. Yesterday’s events were not your fault."

Harry looked in the light blue eyes and nodded. "Thanks for letting me stay here last night." He put on his shoes.

"Harry, after you get a bite to eat I need you to go down to Professor Snape’s office for an occlumency lesson."

"NO!" Harry shouted, then repeated "no" in a softer voice.

"Yes!" Dumbledore responded firmly. "Professor Snape feels very bad for what he said yesterday. Harry you have to realize that even Professors are human and sometimes make mistakes and sometimes say things that we shouldn’t. Professor Snape is extremely worried about Draco. He has known him since he was a baby. He looks upon him as Sirius looked upon you, almost as a son. He took out all his pain and worry on you yesterday and he feels very guilty for doing so. Please give him a chance to explain."

Harry responded with reluctance in his voice. "I’ll go to his office."

"Thank you Harry."

The green eyed gaze looked upon Dumbledore again. "How is Malfoy?"

"His condition is still grave but he has made it through the night, so there is hope that he can recover."

"Was Bellatrix Lestrange one of the death eaters yesterday?"

Dumbledore nodded, "I am afraid she was, although she wasn’t one of the two that killed Colin and Padma."

"Who killed them?" Harry asked with anger in his voice.

"No one that is familiar to you."

"Where any of them caught?"

"Yes, some of the aurors caught three death eaters. They have been transported to a new facility that is harder to break out of."

Harry sighed.

Dumbledore looked at him gently. "Please do not think about this. Concentrate instead on your occlumency lessons."

Harry responded. "I’ll try."

_______________________________________________________

He knocked on Snape’s door and heard a quiet "Come in Potter."

Reluctantly he entered.

Snape sat behind his desk he beckoned for Harry to come and sit.

"Potter, I want to apologize to you for the things I said yesterday."

The dark eyes looked at him intently.

Harry shrugged. "You’re only saying this because Dumbledore made you."

"No that isn’t the reason. A minute after the words left my mouth I regretted them. You have to realize Potter that adults lash out sometimes too, we don’t always mean what we say, sometimes we are upset, sometimes we are angry, sometimes we are sad. We aren’t in some fairytale world of lollipops and sugarplums!"

Anger flashed in Harry’s eyes. "You always want everyone to treat you with respect but you never give any in return!"

Snape looked at him oddly. "Were you not listening? Did I not just apologize!"

Harry glared at him. "Fine."

Snape took a deep breath. "I’m not trying to excuse my behaviour. None of what happened yesterday was your fault. In fact I thank you for coming to Draco’s aid and for finding me as quickly as you did. If he lives it will likely be because of you and your friends."

Harry looked startled; he hadn’t expected Snape to say what he did.

"I hope Draco will be all right."

"Thank you." Snape eyes looked sad. "The headmaster thinks it is very important for you to continue occlumency. Do you feel up to it? Have you been practicing?"

"I haven’t had any more nightmares and I practice clearing my mind at night."

"I think then it is time to move forward to some of your more painful memories because that is where the dark lord will strike, where you are most vulnerable." Snape said gently.

Harry nodded feeling sick.

Snape stood up, pulling out his wand.

Harry got to his feet trying to clear his mind.

"On the count of three, one two three legilimens."

Harry heard his mother screaming, trying to save his life, and then he saw a green flash. In the next memory he heard Snape yelling: "GET OUT! If I hadn’t had to spend so much time trying to teach you occlumency I would have been more aware of what the death eaters were up to and this wouldn’t have happened and Colin and Padma would still be with us!"

Harry had fallen to his knees. A wave of guilt coursed through him.

He felt Snape’s hands on his shoulders and he tried to pull away.

"Harry, I’m very sorry. Your mother would have killed me for having said that."

Harry’s eyes opened as he looked at Snape with shock. "Why would you care what my mother would have thought."

Snape released him and sat back on his heels. He closed his eyes for a moment. "I have been debating whether to show you this but I think it is important for you to understand."

He stood up. "Get up Potter."

Confused Harry rose to his feet.

Snape went over to his pensieve and pulled a strand of silver from it putting it back to his head. "Take out your wand, concentrate hard, you are trying to get into my mind. Look me in the eyes and shout legilimens."

Harry shook his head. "I can’t do that."

"Why not? I won’t fight you, it shouldn’t be very difficult."

"I’ll end up seeing something that you don’t really want me to see and then you’ll get angry and I’ll never make any progress in occlumency." Harry stubbornly replied.

"Things I don’t want you to see are safely stored in my pensieve, beside you have already seen part of this."

Harry looked confused.

"Just do it, I’ll explain after."

Harry looked into Snape’s dark eyes. "Legilimens."

Suddenly a cold feeling shot through his wand into his body, he saw Snape holding a woman, the same woman he saw last time. Professor Snape on his knees. Tears were running down his pale face as he sobbed, "I loved you, you’ll never know. I’m so sorry." Snape’s shoulders shook, his head fell as he pulled the limp form closer. Then suddenly he heard Snape sob "Lily."

Stunned Harry waved the wand upwards lifting the spell.

The woman that Snape loved was his mother? He stared at Snape who stood trembling and pale in front of him.

"What were you, why?" Harry asked breathlessly. He felt as if someone was choking the oxygen out of him.

"Come, sit down, I’ll explain." Snape said in a strained voice.

________________________________________________________

His chest hurt so much, he could barely breathe. He tried to move but daggers of pain coursed through him, he whimpered. He heard voices around him. A cool hand stroked his forehead and a warm hand gently rubbed his chest. He lifted his heavy eyelids to look into Professor Dumbledore’s light blue eyes.

Dumbledore smiled softly. "Nice to have you back Draco." He then turned to someone else. "Please get Professor Snape, he’s in his office." He turned back to Draco. "I know you are in pain but all your wounds are healing, most will be fine by the end of the week, the only one that will cause you discomfort is the pain in your chest. Your lung had collapsed after your rib pieced it, we were all very worried about you but you are healing now, that wound in particular however because of its severity will take some weeks to heal, you may always have a little discomfort if you overexert yourself. You will need to get plenty of rest and not do anything strenuous. For now, though I want you to rest and take a sip of this strengthening potion."

Draco felt Dumbledore’s hand gently lift his head and drip a few drops from a vial down his throat. He grimaced when another pain shot through his chest. Dumbledore immediately put his hand on him and the warm sensations coming from it started to make the pain ebb a bit. His eyes closed again and he fell into a peaceful healing sleep.

________________________________________________________ 

Snape sat down behind his desk looking more pale and wane than usual.

Harry shakily sat down across from him.

"Last year when you looked into my pensieve you saw your mother defend me when your father and his friends tormented me."

Harry nodded, "Yes but you called her a mudblood! You were just like Malfoy when he calls Hermione the same thing!"

"Yes I lashed out. But may I remind you that Ms. Granger helped Draco when he needed it? So did your mother when I needed help."

Harry looked confused. "When?"

Snape grew quiet, stonily looking at his desk.

"Professor Snape?"

Snape cleared his throat. "When I was 16, I received an owl from a neighbour telling me that my mother was dead. I went down to the lake and Lily came across me. I insulted her and tried to make her go away but she sat down beside me and started talking to me. I didn’t tell her what had happened at first but she sensed things somehow and reached out to me. I finally told her." Snape grew silent for a moment, staring off at the wall behind Harry. "She was so warm, she had so much kindness.. I fell a little in love with her that day. During the year we studied together, I helped her with her potions studies and she helped me with divination. She actually tried to talk me out of becoming a death eater but I didn’t listen, I thought it would give me all the power and control I wanted. When I took the dark mark our friendship ended. She told me she could not stay friends with someone who committed the horrible acts that death eaters did. She of course married your father after graduation. By the time you were a year old I had already turned spy for Dumbledore. When I heard of the Dark Lord’s plans I immediately went to your house. I had hoped that somehow I could stop the Dark Lord. But I got there much too late."

Snape closed his eyes for a moment and Harry could see how much the memory upset him. He cleared his throat again. "I never told your mother how I really felt about her. Seeing her lying there." He stopped and cleared his throat for the third time. "You may look a lot like James but you have your mother’s compassionate spirit and her fiery temper. I’ve been seeing more and more of her in you.

"So you and my mother were friends?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Yes." Came Snape’s tired answer.

"How did my father and Sirius feel about that?" he couldn’t imagine either of them accepting Snape as Lily’s friend.

"They never knew."

Harry swallowed. "Why did you let me see this memory?"

"After all the times I’ve performed legilimens on you I thought it would be fair to let you perform it on me. After the things I said yesterday, I wanted you to see a memory that I have closely guarded and that no-one but you and I know about. In order to proceed with occlumency, I need you to trust me and I’m afraid I may have shattered that yesterday. You are after all Lily’s son and I will help you in any way I can."

"But all these years you have hated me because I reminded you of my father."

Snape’s dark eyes bore into him. "Yes that’s true. Perhaps a part of me despised your father and his gang for years of misery they caused me and a part of me was jealous of James because Lily loved him. If things had been different" He paused for a moment in thought. "Nevertheless we need to move forward."

Harry remained silent trying to digest all the information that Snape had just revealed. Anger welled up inside him when he thought of Snape’s behaviour over the last 5 years.

"If you truly loved my mother how could you be so unfair to me? You say my father made your life miserable well you did the same thing to me!"

"I saved your life in your first year here and I likely saved your life last year when I told the order you were in trouble. It is still very hard for me to not think of your father when I look at you."

Harry looked at him with anger flashing from his eyes. "I don’ t know why you showed me that memory because it doesn’t change anything." He got up to leave. Just then a knock came at the door.

"Come in."

Professor McGonagall walked in. "Severus, excuse me but Draco is awake."

Snape suddenly looked 10 years younger. He glanced at Harry. "I’m sorry Harry, but I need to go. Please continue to do the breathing exercises and clear your mind every night. You may be angry with me but I am trying to help you."

With that he left the room and Harry sat down again for quite awhile trying to understand why his mother had befriended the man who had called her mudblood.

_________________________________________________________ 

Black smoke billowed around him stealing his breath, suffocating him. His lungs felt like they were on fire, he stumbled across the snow covered ground falling hard into the cold after tripping over something. He painfully pulled himself up looking back at what he had fallen over. His heart froze; lying on his back in the snow was Professor Snape. He fell to his knees beside him frantically looking for a pulse. There wasn’t one, he was gone. The only person in the entire world who truly cared about him was dead. He awoke shivering violently.

Someones arms were around him. "Shhhh, it’s ok now, it’s ok. Calm down Draco, you are safe, you are at Hogwarts, you just had a dream it’s not real. Just try to breathe slowly."

He realized it was Professor Snape and willed his weak arms to wrap around him, burying his face in Snape’s shoulder. "I’m sorry, I’m so sorry."

"Draco, I’m the one who is sorry, I should have paid more attention. I should have forced you to go to the potions seminar. Here let me look at you." Snape pulled back. His hands went to Draco’s face. "You don’t know how good it feels to see you awake." Snape’s voice sounded hoarse.

Tears filled Draco’s gray eyes. Snape’s hand brushed his cheek. "Hush it’s ok now, it’s over and you made it through. It will take a bit of time but you will recover fully."

"My father." Draco whispered.

"I know. When I saw the wounds on your back I knew what had caused them. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you." Snape whispered his voice heavy with guilt.

Draco blinked rapidly. Snape squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"You are the only person" Draco whispered before the lump in his throat grew effectively choking him off from finishing his sentence.

Snape stroked Draco’s hair. "I’m not the only one. Believe it or not Granger, Potter and Weasley actually found you and helped save you. Professor Lupin and McGonagall all helped take care of you. Professor Dumbledore performed an ancient spell that I believe saved your life and brought you back to us."

Draco squeezed his eyes shut. "Do they know?" Came the faint question.

"Only the headmaster knows and perhaps McGonagall and Lupin. The others think the death eaters did it. The death eaters and dementors paid a visit to Hogsmead yesterday. Two students were killed. Everyone thinks that you were a victim of that attack."

Draco’s hand clung to his own. Snape could see how afraid and alone he felt right now.

"We’re all here for you. I won’t allow this to happen again. Draco, I have to ask how did you end up running into Lucius?’

Draco winced at his words. His breathing increased. "He sent me a letter. He said he missed me. I thought maybe the time in Azkaban had changed him. I wanted to see him and find out."

Snape inhaled sharply. "I guess you found out the hard way that he hasn’t changed."

A sole tear rolled down Draco’s cheek.

"It’s over and it doesn’t matter now. Please if you ever feel inclined to do something like this again, come and talk to me or the headmaster. If you absolutely wanted to see Lucius I wouldn’t have talked you out of it but I would have been nearby and I would have prevented you almost losing your life. I know Lucius has a cruel violent streak but I would never have thought he would almost kill you."

"He just left me in the snow." Draco whispered.

Snape saw the despair on Draco’s face. "Don’t think about it anymore right now. Concentrate on resting and healing. How is your chest feeling?"

"Hurts." Draco responded hoarsely.

"That’s to be expected for now, it will take awhile. How about your back?" Snape asked gently.

"Better, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore."

"Good I have a healing potion on it and some more will be put on tomorrow morning. How about your jaw and your wrist?"

Draco lifted his wrist and flexed it slowly. "Both are still sore and stiff but they don’t really hurt anymore."

"We have to focus on bringing your fever down now, you were on the verge of getting pneumonia." Snape noticed Draco’s eyelids falling shut, he realized the boy needed lots of sleep and the time span for being awake was brief.

He stroked his warm forehead again and squeezed his hand. "Go back to sleep now, no more nightmares ok or I’ll have to add dreamless sleep potion to all the other potions you are currently on. I’ll stay here with you until you fall asleep."

Draco smiled softly. He was so glad Professor Snape was here beside him.

Just as he was falling asleep he heard the quiet whisper. "You are loved Draco."