Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:
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Muggle Hunting

“Missing? How can Dudley be missing?” Harry asked.

“Well,” Dumbledore began. “Your aunt came to me in great distress, claiming young Mr. Dursley snuck out. Apparently, the Dursleys were arguing earlier about Dudley’s desire to explore the castle. His parents believed he was in his room, but when he didn’t come out for his afternoon tea, Petunia checked on him and he was gone.”

“How can I help?” asked Harry.

“That’s what I came here for,” answered Dumbledore with a smile. “I already have Fred and George Weasley searching the castle, but I believe you have something in your possession that would be advantageous to the search.”

Harry looked at the Headmaster questioningly for a moment then he remembered. ‘The map! Of course,’ Harry thought.

Harry smiled and was ready to confirm he had the map when he realized Snape was still in the room and listening intently.

Instead, Harry responded, “Of course, Headmaster. I just have to stop at Gryffindor Tower.”

“Good, good!” Dumbledore exclaimed. “You and Professor Snape should find him in no time.”

“Excuse me,” Snape interrupted. “How did I get drafted to go Muggle hunting?”

Harry looked at Snape, surprised by his choice of words. He remembered that just a few years earlier, Dudley was the one doing the hunting. Harry spent his childhood on the lookout for his cousin, who was always eager to chase him through the neighborhood and leave him with bruises every time he was caught. Now, here he was, a teenage wizard with friends and people he could truly call ‘family’. Instead of being the target of the hunt, Harry was needed to help Dudley.

Harry stopped dwelling on the past just as Dumbledore responded to Snape, “As a member of the Order, you possess the knowledge of how to communicate with me from a distance. If Mr. Potter finds his cousin, someone must be present who can alert me and Mssrs. Weasley.”

Snape sighed, “Very well, Headmaster.”

Snape turned and swept out of the door. “Come, Potter,” he called.

As Harry followed him, he heard Snape mutter, “How hard can it be to find one mammoth sized Muggle?”

After a few minutes of silence, Harry remembered the map and remarked, “I need to stop at Gryffindor Tower first, sir.”

Snape turned towards Harry and sneered, “Yes, Potter, I do believe you said that already. Although you may have an abnormally short attention span, the average wizard is fairly capable at retaining information.”

Before he had a chance to spew his angry retort, the portrait of the Fat Lady came into view.

“Portable swamp,” Harry said, storming into the common room and heading to his dormitory.

Harry threw open his trunk and once again began dumping its contents unceremoniously about the room in search of the map. He found the parchment in the middle of his trunk, between his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander and a crumpled pair of underwear.

Harry opened the parchment and placed his wand against the paper as he said, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

Harry was glad the castle was nearly empty during the summer because it would be much easier to locate his cousin on the map. As he scanned it, Harry saw the twins were near the entrance to the kitchens.

‘Good idea,’ Harry thought, ‘but I don’t think Dudley knows where the kitchen is located.’

Suddenly, Harry noticed a peculiar flickering on the map. Looking down, he saw the malfunctioning label was the one identifying his own location. Instead of Harry Potter, Harry saw that his entire name kept flashing in and out of focus.

“What the…” Harry started to say, but his thoughts were interrupted as he spotted Dudley.

‘I guess that’s him,’ Harry thought as he chuckled, reading the dot labeled Unidentified Foreign Object.

Apparently, the Marauder’s Map was not capable of identifying muggles by name.

Harry put the map away and, still chuckling, said aloud, “I’ve just proven the existence of a UFO at Hogwarts!”

Harry returned to the common room and saw Professor Snape standing near the mantle, glaring at a group photo of all the Gryffindor house members that Colin Creevey had taken the year before.

Snape turned and spoke to Harry, “Well, now that you’re done strutting about your dormitory, can we go find that pathetic Muggle?”

Harry, anxious to get away from Snape, ignored his taunting and exited, heading towards the Entrance Hall where he last saw Dudley on the map. He heard Snape’s footfalls on the steps, confirming that the professor was following.

When Harry got to the base of the stairs, he saw Dudley. He was sitting with his back against the doors to the entrance of the Great Hall. He was sweaty and breathing heavily. A few twigs and dead leaves littered his hair and mud covered his new trainers. There were strings of cobwebs tangled around his legs and stuck to his red top. A small gash was on his face just above his left eyebrow.

“Dudley?” Harry called as he came closer. Dudley jumped at the sound of his name, but came out of his stupor when he saw Harry.

“Harry!” Dudley cried.

Harry had never heard any of the Dursleys call out for him in joy before. Shocking Harry even more, Dudley ran to his cousin and threw his arms around Harry.

Harry was mortified. He attempted to wrestle himself out of Dudley’s firm grip and glared at Snape, who appeared thoroughly entertained.

During his struggle to remove Dudley, Harry watched as Snape pulled out his wand and, using a spell Harry did not know, conjured a quill and a piece of parchment. After writing a short message, he placed the parchment on the floor and pointed his wand at it. Wordlessly, the parchment folded into a paper airplane and took flight, stopping a few inches from Snape’s hooked nose.

“Fred and George Weasley,” Snape said to the parchment airplane as it flew up the stairs in search of its target. Harry was reminded of the interoffice messaging system he saw at the Ministry while being escorted by Mr. Weasley.

“What were you thinking?” Harry asked Dudley as he finally managed to separate himself from the muggle who had calmed significantly.

“I’m sorry!” Dudley cried. “I couldn’t stay in those rooms any longer.”

Any further explanation was cut off by Snape, who drawled, “Come. You two can continue this discussion in the Headmaster’s office.”

Focusing his glare on Dudley, Snape continued, “I’m sure the headmaster is most interested in why you left the rooms when you were expressly told not to.”

Harry saw Dudley swallow and his cousin murmured, “Y-yes s-sir.”

-333-

The walk to the headmaster’s office was a silent one. “Peppermint Toads,” Snape said to gain entrance to the office.

“Hello, Mr. Dursley,” Dumbledore said as the unlikely trio entered his office. “Have a seat,” he continued, gesturing to the three chairs in front of his desk that were upholstered in a combination of bright red, yellow, blue, and green fabric.

Dumbledore sighed and his knees crackled as he lowered himself into his chair. He put his elbows up on the desk and leaned his chin on his clasped hands, peering over his spectacles at a nervous looking Dudley.

Harry saw Dudley start as a house elf popped into existence with a tray of tea and sandwiches. Dumbledore took a cup of tea and slid the sandwich tray in front of Dudley, saying, “Help yourself, young man.”

Dudley quickly grabbed two sandwiches while the Headmaster poured the tea. When everyone had a cup, Dumbledore turned back to Dudley.

“I am quite curious, Mr. Dursley, as to why you decided to leave your suite and how you managed to become so disheveled.”

Harry watched Dudley swallow a large bolus of food before his cousin began to respond.

“Well, sir, it all started because I was angry at my parents. I don’t have any of my video games or my computer. The only thing to do here is read!” Dudley exclaimed.

Snape snorted, but any derogatory remark Harry knew Snape was about to say was stalled as Dumbledore raised his hand.

Dudley continued, “It wasn’t so bad when I could leave for meals, but after Dad got angry I couldn’t even do that! When we got back to the rooms, my parents and I got into a row and I went to my room. When I came out later, my mum was reading one of those books about gardening and my dad was taking a nap. Since they weren’t paying attention, I decided to sneak out.”

Dudley stopped talking and looked up at Dumbledore. Harry saw fear in his cousin’s eyes. Dudley continued, “I’m sorry for leaving, sir, but you don’t know what it’s like to be locked up in a place where there’s nothing you can do.”

Dudley’s words reminded Harry of Sirius. ‘That’s exactly how Sirius felt,’ Harry thought. He was then reminded of his own past.

Harry interrupted with bitterness in his voice, “I know how it feels. That’s exactly how I felt growing up with you.”

Everyone turned and stared at Harry. Dudley sat wide mouthed and responded, “I’m sorry, Harry. I never thought of it like that before.”

Harry was suddenly aware that Snape was still in the room and was now looking at him strangely. ‘Why do I keep forgetting when the git’s in the room?’ Harry thought.

Eager to change the subject, Harry turned to Dudley. “So what happened after you left?” he asked.

Dudley replied, “I was about to open the doors to the dining area when this g-ghost came out through the wood doors. He cackled and I screamed. He started talking and throwing things at me and I got so scared that I came to the bigger doors and ran out. I didn’t know they’d lead outside, but I was afraid the ghost would try to kill me.”

Dumbledore interrupted, “That sounds like the school poltergeist, Peeves. Although he can cause disturbances, I assure you he is quite harmless.”

“Well, he didn’t seem harmless at the time,” Dudley replied. “Anyway, I kept running and stopped when I realized I was in a forest.”

“You were in the Forbidden Forest?” Harry asked.

Dudley responded, “What? Is it forbidden because of those great big spiders?”

Stunned, Harry asked, “You met Aragog?”

Snape interrupted, “How do you know about Aragog, Potter?”

Harry ignored Snape’s question and nodded for Dudley to continue.

“Well yeah, once I realized I was in some dark forest, I got worried and started shouting for help. I heard some rustling and I thought one of you had come for me. But then I saw those eyes,” Dudley shuddered. “The spider grabbed me by the leg and dragged me deeper into the forest where there were even more spiders. And then he started to talk. He said how he and his kids were all hungry. I offered to bring him some food if they let me go, but he said they were too hungry to wait and were going to eat me!” Dudley shrieked nervously.

Dumbledore peered calmly at Dudley, “I assure you, Mr. Dursley, that acromantulas cannot enter the castle. You are safe here.”

“I know,” Dudley replied. “That man horse thing called Fire ends told me so.”

“You saw Firenze too?” Harry asked, shocked even more by Dudley’s encounters.

“Well, yeah,” Dudley responded. “He’s the one that saved me from the spiders. He shot arrows at them and told them that they’d get in trouble if they harmed me.”

Dudley took a deep breath and continued, “So, once the spiders agreed to leave, Firenze untied me and walked back to the castle. That’s when you found me, Harry.”

“Well, that is quite a story, Mr. Dursley,” Dumbledore replied. “Are you in need of medical attention?”

“No, except for this cut,” Dudley responded, pointing to his forehead.

“Do you mind if I heal it, Dudley?” Dumbledore asked. “I promise it won’t hurt.”

Shockingly, Dudley consented. ‘Dumbledore must have spelled him so he’d agree,’ Harry thought. He then watched as Dudley squeezed his eyes shut and Dumbledore silently healed the scratch. Dumbledore also removed the dirt and cobwebs from Dudley’s arms and legs and applied a cleaning spell.

“Is it over yet?” Dudley asked with a quivering voice, his eyes still firmly shut.

“Yes, Dudley,” Dumbledore replied kindly. “You may open your eyes now.”

As Dudley opened his eyes, Harry watched as his cousin looked stunned by his clean appearance.

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle, “See that, Dud? And you don’t even have a tail!”

Dudley jumped up from his chair and grasped his bottom, feeling for an invisible tail. Snape rolled his eyes and Dumbledore shook his head, peering at Harry with a small smile and sparkling eyes.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and Dudley sat back down. “Well, Dudley, now that you are all taken care of, I must implore you not to leave your suite without informing one of us.” Dudley looked saddened, but Dumbledore continued, “I will, however, speak to your parents about allowing you to eat in the Great Hall.”

Dudley smiled, “Thanks, sir!”

“You are welcome, Mr. Dursley,” said Dumbledore. He turned to the other wizards in the room. “Harry, you are free to go. Severus, if you would accompany me to bring Mr. Dursley back to his parents. I believe I may require your assistance.

“Goodbye, Professor,” Harry said as he got up to leave.

Harry then turned to his cousin. “Dudley,” Harry said, nodding once.

“Harry,” said Dudley in response.

Harry knew he would never be friends with Dudley, but he thought they might learn to tolerate each other one day. He exited the office and returned to his dormitory.

“Portable swamp,” Harry said to the Fat Lady.

“Back so soon?” asked the Fat Lady. “Well, your visitors will be happy to know you are back.”

“Visitors?” Harry said aloud as he stepped through the portrait hole.

Harry withdrew his wand from his pocket and looked around the common room. Spotting no one, Harry headed up to his room. The door that he left open a little while ago was now closed and muted voices could be heard inside of the room. Holding the wand in his right hand at the ready, Harry used his left to open the door.

“Expell…” Harry shouted. The spell died on his tongue when he saw who his visitors were.

“Fred? George?” Harry asked. “Why didn’t you warn me that you were in here? I was ready to attack you!”

“What fun would that be?” George asked with a chuckle.

“Whoa, Icke Harrikins! What’s with the quick draw?” commented Fred.

“Yeah. Are you expecting someone to steal your pants?” George laughed.

“Oh, yes! I’ve touched Harry Potter’s knickers! I can die a happy man!” Fred laughed.

Harry turned red from embarrassment, but laughed along with the twin’s antics. He began to pick up his clothes that were scattered across the room as the twins danced around with a pair of his pants. He opened his trunk to dump in his clothes and spotted the Marauder’s Map. Harry dropped the armful of wrinkled robes and opened up the parchment.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good,” Harry said, his wand pointed at the map.

He searched the surface and found what he was looking for. His name was still flickering.

“Mischief managed,” Harry said as he closed the map and tossed it back in his trunk.

Harry was too preoccupied with thinking about what the flickering meant that he failed to notice when the twins stopped dancing and began watching Harry. When he looked up, the twins were looking up at him strangely.

“What were you looking for on the map?” George asked.

“Nothing,” Harry responded. Then he got an idea.

“Hey guys?” Harry asked. “What can you tell me about the map?”

Chapter End Notes:
Sorry to end it there, but the next chapter will be up much sooner than this one was! Coming up: Flashback to 1989 to find out how the twins discovered the password to the map.

Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed and all those that have taken the time to read this. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying it! All comments and reviews are greatly appreciated :) Special thanks to my creative beta, boushh!

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