The print whole story view may not work for longer stories.
[Reviews - 922]

Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat by RhiannanT

Summary: Before Harry arrives at Hogwarts, the faculty have a meeting and decide that Harry will need a mentor to help him adjust, keep him out of trouble, and make protecting him easier. They decide that this person should the Head of the House into which Harry is sorted, presumably Minerva McGonagall. But things, of course, don't turn out as planned, and Harry is harder to deal with than anyone expected. Nobody asked him if he wanted a mentor, after all...

NOTE: This story has a prologue. It is not necessary to the plot of the story, but if you wish to read it, it is called(predictably enough) 'Prologue to Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat' This story is part of the series, Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat. The previous story in the series is Prologue to 'Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat'. The next story in the series is LADTH Oneshot #1 - A Potions Incident.

1. Damn that Hat! by RhiannanT [Reviews - 26] (2161 words)

Where Harry is sorted.

2. Our New Celebrity by RhiannanT [Reviews - 24] (4992 words)

Where things heat up, and the headmaster steps in.

3. World War I by RhiannanT [Reviews - 30] (8474 words)

Also called, "He cheated."

Things finally come to a head.

Lot of profanity in this chapter.

4. Oops? by RhiannanT [Reviews - 20] (4958 words)

Another chappie for y'all! It's a little short, but some people were getting impatient (cough, cough, Gwendolynn and Rachael)

Anyway, the truth comes out, and Harry gets in trouble.

5. Omission or Commission by RhiannanT [Reviews - 16] (1607 words)

Had some requests to see this conversation, but it didn't quite fit, so it gets its own (very short) chapter. It fits in right after Snape leaves the infirmary to talk to Albus, and just before Harry blows things up. Don't worry, the next "real" chapter will be out soon.

6. The Executioner by RhiannanT [Reviews - 17] (4847 words)

In which things get worse, and better.

[A/N: This chapter starts immediately after the end of chapter five, before the flashback of the conversation between Albus and Severus. Sorry if that conversation confused people as to the time line]

7. World War II - part 1 by RhiannanT [Reviews - 31] (7561 words)

In which Harry is miserable...and has fun.

8. World War II - part 2 by RhiannanT [Reviews - 24] (4599 words)

Chapter 9 (edit - 8 if one doesn't count the prologue) is finally here! Sorry it took so long. Chapter 10 (9) may well take longer - I have exams coming up.

Any way, Harry acquires another ally, and the 'war' proceeds apace.

9. Axis and Allies by RhiannanT [Reviews - 27] (5674 words)

In which lots happens.

10. Family Ties by RhiannanT [Reviews - 23] (5053 words)

Sorry this took so long!! I went to camp right after exams and I wrote but had no internets. (Which means the next chappie will come all the sooner 'cause it's already half done. :-) )

11. Unpleasant Encounters by RhiannanT [Reviews - 18] (5545 words)

Thanks for all the reviews, guys! Here's the next chappie!!

12. Care by RhiannanT [Reviews - 27] (6828 words)

:-)

13. Small Deeds by RhiannanT [Reviews - 25] (5959 words)

WOW guys!! You're amazing! 21 reviews for that last chapter. That's one of the best yet, and I'm up to 200 total!! Anyway here's the next!

14. Bad Blood and Bad Attitude by RhiannanT [Reviews - 29] (7065 words)

Wow! You guys are great! Thanks for all the reviews! You've earned a bunny:

:0)

(And another chappie) :-)

15. A Dog, a Cat, a Harpy, a Bat, a Friend, and a Freak by RhiannanT [Reviews - 20] (6183 words)

Woot! Lotsa reviews!! You earned another bunny!! cool bunny => B0)

16. Anger and Fear by RhiannanT [Reviews - 18] (5962 words)

Yey!! Reviews!!! And I got another chappy for you!!! Funfunfunfunfunfunfun.

17. Once a Death Eater by RhiannanT [Reviews - 24] (8193 words)

SORRY SO LATE!!! OMG SORRY!! Beta was sorta unavailable and I went on vacation. Anyway, y'all were so patient you earned a new bunny. |0) Cyclops bunny (think XMen)

18. Honesty by RhiannanT [Reviews - 36] (4724 words)

Hiiiiii!!!! Sorry (for the third time in a row) that this is sooooo laaaaaaattteee!!! I took an impromptu break with a really, really good book series. (Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series is AWESOME if you like really gritty vampire fantasy. Don't be put off by the overly-sexual covers - they have very little to do with the actual plot of the story.) Anyway thanks sooooo much for all the reviews!! You earned TWO bunnnies. (One for 20 reviews, one for patience.) Hope you like the chappie!!!

:0{ mustache bunny
===(:)0) scuba bunny

19. Slythindors by RhiannanT [Reviews - 29] (4353 words)

Hi everybody!!! You are SO AWESOME!!! THIRTY-FOUR reviews for that last chapter. THIRTY-FOUR!!!! Thanks so much!!! We are now at nearly 350 reviews and 100,000 words!! woohooo!!! You earned two bunnies and, just 'cause I feel like it, my favorite poem. (Sorry it's kinda dark.)

Bunnies!! 0:0) angel bunny, @=:0) chef bunny. (I dunno, it looks like one of those tall hats to me)

Poem:


1999

We were driving to your funeral
& our father was not crying
because he has a way
of tying ribbons around grief.
It was the year we learned
the piercing that prefaces the blood
holds the most delicate of darknesses.
Then it was the year we opened
all our faucets & waited for the sea
to bleed to death. Then it was the year
we set fire to your mitt. Then, suddenly
the year we started to believe
every thorn was just a bridge.
Then the year all we talked about
was boxing. Then the year
my stomach hurt all year, & then
the year no one spoke of you.

If there were an antonym for suicide
we could all choose when to be born.
I would have been born after that day
so I could not remember you.
So my fingers would stop pointing
at all the things that aren't there.

Kevin A. González

20. Boundaries by RhiannanT [Reviews - 31] (8520 words)

FINALLY!!! Thanks so much for your patience, guys!! I did my best writing this chapter, but I had a crazy start to the semester, and get a bout of writer's block halfway through, to boot. Anyway, enough excuses, sorry it took so long. Have some bunnies!! (Unfortunately, I have run out of ideas for happy bunnies, so for now you get sick bunnies instead. This is not a reflection on my feelings for you guys.) :0)

-------X0( = hanged bunny

==X0(========== = head-on-a-pike bunny

21. An Independent Evil by RhiannanT [Reviews - 21] (5171 words)

Hi everybody!!! Sorry that the chapter, once again, took so long. In a chapter or two I should have an easier time, 'cause I'll be working with more canon material. Anyway, y'all earned bunnies for your lovely reviews and patience!! We're at more than 400 reviews now!! Thanks guys!

@:0)=~~ genie bunny :0[.. Bunnicula

22. Coping by RhiannanT [Reviews - 20] (8204 words)

Just a warning to y'all that this chapter is more graphic than most, and also contains a fair amount of profanity. That said, I hope you enjoy it!

23. Tricks and Treats by RhiannanT [Reviews - 16] (5681 words)

Hey guys!! Woot! I'm back on my crazy publish-once-a-week schedule!! I don't know how long I can keep it up (this is exam week) but y'all know I'm amazing. I told some of you that this chapter wouldn't be out for another week or so, but that was before I decided to split Halloween into two days to avoid the 30-page-chapter-from-hell. (LOL as it is it's still 17 pages long) Hope you like the chapter!! See you!! Thanks for all the lovely reviews!!

24. Trolls and Trouble by RhiannanT [Reviews - 18] (6257 words)

Hi everybody!! Woot! Another chapter within the crazy 1-chapter-a-week schedule!! Hope you enjoy it!

25. Safe by RhiannanT [Reviews - 27] (4402 words)

Hi peoples!! Sorry this took so long - I had some major writer's block and so decided to write the second chapter of my other fic first. I think this chapter is better for it. :0) Thanks for your patience!!! You earned a bunny!

(:0o)|--TNT 'TNT' bunny

26. Going Home by RhiannanT [Reviews - 25] (5963 words)

Hi everybody!! Thanks so much to all of my lovely reviewers, and to everybody who signed up for Hogwarts Grounds! If you haven't yet, please do - it's a pretty new website, and it could be really cool. http://grou.ps/hogwartsgrounds/home Anyway, that's it for announcements or whatever, enjoy the chapter!!

OH!! And y'all earned a bunny for 20 reviews!! yahoo!!
-0) = cyclops bunny!

27. Psycho by RhiannanT [Reviews - 34] (5825 words)

Woot!! Finally!! Another chapter!! Sorry this took awhile - I've been working hard, but I got started late 'cause I had some trouble with my other fic. Still, I hope you'll find the chapter worth the wait. :0)

Bunny!!! @@@:0) Marge Simpson (bunny)

28. Dumbledore's Death Eater by RhiannanT [Reviews - 25] (6594 words)

I cannot believe how late this chapter is. I am so, so, sorry. I've been writing, but it didn't go as quickly as I'd've liked, on either story. I'll try to do better later. Again, sorry. :0) On a happier note, bunnies!! (O):3 = a bear, not a bunny. LOL I'm an idiot. Anyway, my personal favorite bunny yet - Bunny getting chased by Alligator!! ======^^^^^^:=8 }}}}):0o

29. Rat by RhiannanT [Reviews - 22] (5312 words)

Woot! On time for ONCE!! Thanks everybody for the lovely reviews!! Anyway, hope y'all enjoy the chapter!! Here's your bunny! @v@ = sort of an owl. Sort of. But certainly not a bunny. Lame. Sorry peoples. I seem to be running out of ideas. :0) BUT I figured I should announce that March 14, 2010 will be the 1-year-anniversary (birthday?) of Life as Dictated by a Talking Hat. So party, y'all!! ~=(||||) ... it's a cupcake. Not a bomb.

30. Winner takes All by RhiannanT [Reviews - 24] (1691 words)

Hi everybody!! I figured I'd post this as it is, but I wanted to warn you that this chapter is very, very, short. I guess it's more of an ending to the previous chapter, but it just didn't want to be left with the material I'm planning to come next, or be with the one before, and a lot happens in it, in some ways, so I figured I'd let it stand alone. IMPORTANT: I'm also considering going on a (very brief - like a week or two?) hiatus with this fic, 'cause it's (vaguely) nearing the end and I need to figure out where I'm taking things from here and stuff. So, anyway, enjoy this little snippet, and I'll post again when I know better what I'm doing. :0)

31. The Cupboard by RhiannanT [Reviews - 13] (3144 words)

Hey guys!! Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews!!I had a lot of fun reading them!! You get a bunny. ||||||||||/:0) the Bunny in the Hat! This is another pretty short chapter, guys - I'm sorta still on hiatus, 'cause school's getting stressful, but I really wanted to get something out there to tide y'all over. The good news is, I know where this is going, now. :0)

32. Homeless by RhiannanT [Reviews - 23] (5869 words)

Hello again everybody!! Good news!! I am OFF HIATUS!!! WOOT!! Sorry it was so much longer than I had predicted - I had exams, and writer's block, and then this chapter was just difficult to write. I've been working on it for like three or four weeks. Thanks so much for the reviews!! You earned another bunny!! (Or critter, at least, 'cause at this point they're not really all bunnies...) | |
| |
@@
d 0 b
--
I have no idea what that one is. It's creepy.

33. Reality by RhiannanT [Reviews - 23] (5614 words)

Hi everybody!! Guess what?! Ok this is probably not going to make you happy, but this is the second to last chapter. That's right. This one, the next one, and this story is over. Bye bye, adios, 再見, ciao, auf wiedersehen, au revoir, das vedaniya, 'n stuff. Also sad, there will be no full-length sequel. On the other hand, I plan on doing lots and lots of little one-shots of later events in Harry and Sev's life, and the lives of the other characters. So rejoice, and be exceeding glad. :0) Anyway, your bunny!! ###E:0o### ...bunny tied to train tracks. Sorry, I've just got a really morbid sense of humor...he'll be okay, I promise. Dudley Doright will show up in the tada! Nick of time. :0)

34. Flames by RhiannanT [Reviews - 29] (4755 words)

Hi everybody!! So guess what??? THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cough* Excuse me. But yes, that is true. The chapter got super long, so I decided to split it. There will be one more chapter, and MAYBE an epilogue. We'll see. Hope you like!! Oh! And your bunny. Errrmmm.... @:.0) Fancy lady bunny?? (it's a beauty mark)...except it looks like genie bunny, with a beauty mark. Sorry guys. That's kinda lame, I have to admit. Y'all deserve better.

35. His Child by RhiannanT [Reviews - 102] (6894 words)

OMG here it is for real. The last chapter. There will probably be a very short epilogue, but this is the real end of the story, folks. A year and four months, 194,932 words (plus prologue and epilogue), thirty-five chapters, and 739 reviews (so far), and it's done. God is that weird. It's like I'm leaving a chapter of my life behind. Thanks so much for reading, everybody. And think of one-shots within this universe that you want to see!

|||||||/:0)& formal-wear bunny