-II-

"No, Black Hawk!" Harry screamed and ran after the pick-up.

Black Hawk heard Harry shout even over the loud machine of the old car and stopped the car.

"Don't leave, please!" Harry pleaded breathlessly when he had reached Black Hawk's open car window.

"Calm down, Harry. I'm just driving into the town. Light Arrow will tell you all that I will stay," Black Hawk said calmly. It touched him that Harry wanted him to stay at the camp so desperately.

"You promise?" Harry asked hopefully.

"I promise, little brother," Black Hawk said, smiling, and ruffled Harry's hair. It seems Harry likes to get his hair ruffled, Black Hawk thought cheerfully.

With a relieved smile, Harry watched the car vanish behind the hill.

-II-

"It's time for the welcome sweat lodge and also for Maya's good-bye sweat lodge," Light Arrow explained to the kids and the rest of the family at the campfire place where they all were gathered for a family meeting a few days after Harry had come back to the camp. He looked at Maya. "You know that you are always welcome here and that you will leave whenever you feel ready for it. The sweat lodge will just show you that we think you are ready to leave."

Maya smiled shyly at Light Arrow. It was strange to see her shy because normally she was the grown-up and self-confident kid in the camp; besides Aiden.

"You will leave with Rose this evening and we will see you back here in two days. Then you will build up your sweat lodge with Black Hawk's and Crying Horse's help, and Harry and Draco will built their sweat lodge as well. You can go to get the stones from the river together," Light Arrow went on with his explanations.

_____________

Harry sat on the gate and patted Tohiadedi's head. Black Hawk would come soon, but until then they had still time to talk a bit. Melissa sat shyly beside Harry, and Draco was standing close to them, patting Unega. Aiden was sitting down beside Maya when Harry asked, "Where will Maya and Rose go?"

"She has her Solo," Aiden said grumpily. "I should be the next one, not Maya. I don't understand why they don't let me do it."

"Because you are not ready to leave," a deep voice said behind them. "The simple fact that you are questioning Light Arrow's decision is proof of it." Black Hawk swung himself over the gate. "So, any more questions?"

Aiden jumped from the gate angrily, and Tohiadedi threw his head back and danced nervously on the place. "Calm down, boy," Black Hawk said to Tohiadedi and patted the neck of the horse. When the horse was calm again, Black Hawk looked at Harry and Melissa, as Draco was melting into Unega and was covered by Tohiadedi's body. "So what provoked this all?"

"Harry just asked where Rose and Maya will be going tomorrow," Melissa explained shyly.

"Yes, and I still have no clue. Just that she will have something called Solo. What's that?" Harry asked, confused.

"It's the last ceremony you have when you are in the camp. You will stay two nights outside the camp. Sleeping under the sky, just thinking about yourself, what you have learned here and how you will go on. Before supper Rose and Maya will leave and built a campsite close to the river. They will camp there together. Tomorrow Rose will search with her for a good place to spend her night alone and will keep her company until Maya has built up her campfire and feels ready to be alone. Rose will sleep somewhere close to Maya; in earshot, not in sight, so she will be there for her if something unpredictable happens or Maya decides she isn't ready for it. If anything goes like planned, Rose will join her on the second day, a few hours before they will go back to the camp together. The next day she will build the sweat lodge and you two will build yours. Then in the late evening we will have the sweat lodge ceremony. Maya and the women will have the good-bye sweat lodge, and we men will have your welcome sweat lodge."

"Sweat lodge," Harry said deep in thoughts. "That's this dome-like thing near the campfire, right?"

"Yes, but the old one will be destroyed tomorrow, and we will use the wood for the campfire. You need to build your own one. Actually you two are lucky because there are two of you, so you have only half of the work."

"What work?" Harry asked curiously.

"My, you are full of questions today," Black Hawk said, chuckling. "You will see soon enough."

"But I want to know, please, Black Hawk," Harry pleaded and jumped down from the gate because Black Hawk started to go around Tohiadedi.

"Nervous?" Black Hawk grinned.

"Should I be?" Harry asked back.

Black Hawk laughed and didn't answer the question. "Why don't you take care of Tohiadedi and Melissa of Maute? Melissa can tell you about the ceremony. I will be occupied with Draco today."

Draco looked fearfully up when he heard this. Black Hawk was only a few feet away, and Draco shrank back against Unega, who snorted nervously. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Black Hawk said cheerfully, not shying away from Draco's reaction. He stopped a few feet away from Draco, the distance he knew Draco needed in the beginning. "I thought it's time to start riding for you."

Draco's eyes almost jumped out if their sockets when he looked surprised at Black Hawk. "Riding? Really?"

"Really," Black Hawk confirmed, grinning.

Draco looked over to Harry and saw the disappointed expression on his face. "Maybe I should wait until Harry is-"

"Harry will start riding when he is ready for it. Now, he isn't, but you are. So come on, we will go to the other end of the paddock to train." With that Black Hawk turned around and led the way.

After one last apologizing look at Harry, Draco followed Black Hawk.

Harry couldn't stop the feeling of jealousy. He was jealous of Draco for learning riding before he was allowed to and that he got Black Hawk's full attention today. It's horrible to think like this, Harry reprimand himself.

"Do you still want to know about the sweat lodge?" Melissa asked Harry shyly.

Harry had forgotten about the girl and now looked puzzled at her when she suddenly was standing close to him. "Ehm... sure." He stepped back on instinct, but she didn't seem to realize that. She just looked dreamily at him and said, "I will just go and get Maute over here, and then I tell you anything you want to now." She smiled shyly and then left.

Melissa reminded Harry a bit of Luna, but she looked better than Luna.

While they brushed their horses, Melissa explained the ceremony to Harry. "The sweat lodge is similar to a very, and when I say very, then I mean very, hot sauna. Your first sweat lodge won't be so hot, but you will still think it is very hot. I can assure you our sweat lodge will be much hotter."

Once speaking she is quite a chatterbox, Harry thought. But it's nice to listen to her voice.

"Some of the men will help you and Draco get the twigs for the lodge and then you have to lay several layers of blankets on the skeleton. Inside the lodge you have to dig a hole and built something like a fence around it. Then you will have to go to the river and get many stones to the fireplace. In the evening the stones will be heated in the fire and later will be placed in the hole you dug out earlier. That heats the sweat lodge and water will be poured over it, so the lodge will be full of hot steam. It's a bit scary in the beginning because it is very dark and so hot." She smiled at Harry. "But you won't be scared."

Harry snorted. "I'm not so sure. Being in a small room in the darkness with..." He stopped realizing that he surely could get some problems in the sweat lodge. He felt his guts rumble. Then he thought about Draco. Damn, the skeleton looked very small, and Draco shall go in there with all the other men of the camp? No way.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Melissa asked, worried, seeing Harry's white face. "It's not bad to be scared. You can tell Light Arrow and he will-"

"No, I'm okay," Harry said quickly and turned away from Melissa, pretending to take special care of a spot on Tohiadedi's back.

Unfortunately Harry wasn't okay, and he couldn't get the picture of the small dark room out of his head. The rest of the day, Harry behaved oddly, and he didn't eat much for lunch. On supper he chewed on his small slice of bread for twenty minutes.

"Harry, would you please help me lock the chickens for the night?" Light Arrow asked innocently.

Harry gulped. Light Arrow never asked someone to help him with the chickens, and normally Red Horse took care of them.

"Any problem with helping me?" Light Arrow asked.

"No, I will help you," Harry said and then quickly looked down at his plate, ashamed. He knew perfectly well that this was about something else and not about helping Light Arrow.

Harry didn't know why he was worried about the talk that obviously would come. Light Arrow still came every night into Harry's bedroom, waking him after his nightmares. Harry had hoped that they would be away now because during his 'camping trip' with Black Hawk, he had no nightmare, but they were back the moment he slept in the house again. Maybe it was because Severus and Black Hawk had been sleeping so close to him.

"What's going on, Harry?" Light Arrow asked directly on their way to the hen house.

"Nothing. I'm all right," Harry said, not very convincing with his white face and the several times he had to go to the toilet today. Everyone had noticed. It seemed the time they gave him to approach them on his own was over now.

"Don't lie, Harry. Something is bothering you, and I would like to hear about it before I have to pull you out of a nightmare about it this night." They had reached the hen house, and Light Arrow gestured to the small bench in front of it. "Let's sit down for a while."

Harry groaned and his guts rumbled again. "I think I have to go to the toilet, Light Arrow," Harry said and held his stomach.

"I think you are making yourself sick about something you are worried about." Light Arrow waved his hand in front of Harry and suddenly the sick feeling in his guts was away. It felt as if he had been on the toilet. Puzzled, he looked at the old man, but Light Arrow gave no explanation for it and just went on. "Speaking about it will make it better, Harry. Your nightmares aren't as bad since we speak about what is troubling you in them, right?"

Yes, that was right. They were only half as bad as they had been before Harry had come into the camp. He hadn't wet himself for the last four days. "Yes, that's right."

"So, I was right then and you should trust me this time as well. What's bothering you?"

Meanwhile they had sat down on the bench, and Harry slightly leaned over, resting his elbows on his legs. "Melissa told me about the sweat lodge," Harry said in a soft voice.

"What did she say that is bothering you? What exactly about the sweat lodge makes your stomach ill, Harry?"

Harry sighed. "How shall Draco do that? I mean there will be many men in a dark, small room with him, in close-"

"No, Harry, we are not speaking about Draco here. We speak about what you are worried about, and even if you are worried how Draco will make it, it wouldn't make you so ill. So there must be something else in your head; something concerning just you."

Sighing Harry let his head hang even lower. "It's the cramped condition. I mean I saw the old sweat lodge skeleton and... there is hardly room to kneel in it right?"

"You have to crawl through the entrance tunnel, but then there is enough space to sit comfortably."

Harry sighed again. "I don't think I can do this. I hate to be in dark and cramped rooms."

"We will be there to help you, Harry. I won't lie to you. It will be quite a challenge. The cramped conditions won't be your biggest problem, but the heat. Your first sweat lodge will be quite cold for us others, but for you it will feel almost unbearable, Harry. There are several rounds of being in the lodge. The first round we will let you two sit beside the entrance. That's the coolest place and you will feel less claustrophobic there. After the first cooling outside you will wander one seat deeper into the lodge and so on. We will see how many onpourings you will be able to attend. Normally we have four. Each time a bit hotter. If you won't be able to stay in the lodge, we will not force you, but we want you to try it at least. It can be a very good and helpful experience for you."

"But it will be dark," Harry whispered.

"You can still see the person beside you. The glowing stones give some light. You can choose whom you want to sit beside you. If Draco only will let you and Severus sit beside him, I even have to ask you to move deeper into the lodge at the second time because otherwise someone else have to sit beside Draco when he is scooping one seat deeper into the lodge. It will be okay, Harry. You will get used to it. That isn't something to get ill about, believe me. Severus will be there as well." Light Arrow laid his hand in Harry's neck, gently massaging the stiff muscles.

"Okay," Harry said, a little calmer but still scared. "But if I really can't stay in there, I don't have to, right?"

"Right, Harry. We will not force you when you'll be still too scared after trying it."

Harry let out a breath he wasn't aware of holding.