Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:
Dear readers,

I think I need to give a bit of informations now. I could hardly find any texts/information about Cherokee. I fear they never used the sweat lodge ceremony, but I needed it for the plot. So please try to over see this. Most of what I write in this story is influence by experiences I made on a farm for drug addicted people in Austria. And of course many things are just made up by me. So don't take it all too serious. This is fanfiction not an attempt of me to show any real kind of therapeutic actions...

I also have to warn you that the next two or three chapter will be heavy stuff. Lots of drama. I wrote it during a time were I was very, very down, but I promise this mood won't last for a long time.

Sunny

Chapter 26 - Setback

-II-

"Is Harry okay? He behaved oddly. Is he mad at me for being allowed to ride?" Draco asked.

Severus smiled. "You seem to ask me only questions about other people's feelings, Draco. You could have asked Harry about that yourself."

Draco sighed. "I know, but I didn't want to disturb him after Light Arrow had taken him to the chickens."

"Draco, you two are like brothers. If you feel like speaking with Harry, you can do it. If he doesn't want to speak, he will tell you and you can try it at another time again. Right now he is sleeping and to answer your question, he is okay and not mad at you. It was something else that bothered him, but know it is cleared and he fell asleep very easily. Satisfied?" Severus avoided Harry's reason for his odd behavior on purpose. Until now, Draco didn't seem to be too worried about the sweat lodge, and Severus hoped it would stay like this. The adults had already discussed if it wouldn't be better for Draco to attend the girls' sweat lodge, even if it would break the rule. It was allowed to use the sweat lodge with mixed genders, but the two sweat lodges in two days would have different meanings. The womens' sweat lodge would be less crowded and Rose would be there to calm Draco, but it was a good-bye sweat lodge and nobody spoke in it because Maya should be able to reflect on her time in the camp quietly. The next problem was that it would be much hotter than the men sweat lodge. In the welcome sweat lodge it was allowed to speak because it soothed the fears of the newcomers and they could be calmed if they panic. In the men sweat lodge were Severus and Harry, the two men Draco trusted the most, but they wouldn't be able to calm him with magic and Draco still didn't trust Light Arrow that much to let him calm him; especially not when he was sitting half naked in the sweat lodge. There were a lot of pro and contras for both variations and in the end they all decided to let Draco decide when it was time.

Draco nodded.

"Good," Severus said and smiled. He cupped Draco's cheek and brushed his thumb over it. "Don't write too long to Miss Granger."

Draco blushed again, but grinned. "Promise!"

-II-

He smelled his blood and his urine while Lestrange had a death grip on his hair. Seeing Ron scream and cry under the Cruciatus Lucius Malfoy was casting on him was hurting him more than the grip on his hair or the damage on his own body from the last two hours of torture. The screams were piercing through his ears, so Harry thought his eardrums would rupture. They went through Harry like shock waves destroying any glimpse of hope that still had been there. The helpless feeling and being forced to watch the torture of Ron was the biggest torture of all. His vocal cords didn't work at the moment because he had screamed them raw the last two hours. So Harry couldn't scream for them to stop and go on with torturing himself. He couldn't move his arms or legs. He couldn't even feel them at the moment. He could just felt the pain on his head because of being held up by his hair.

Lucius had stopped the the curse, and Ron gulped for air. To Harry's distress he turned in his direction. What a sight he must have given to Ron. Naked, full of blood, not being able to hold himself up and most importantly, not helping him. Then the kicking started. The first blow hit Ron in his back by Lucius and then the others joined. Blood was everywhere, and Ron screamed even more than under the curse, and that was when it happened. Something died in Harry, he could feel it, and he just wished Ron would stop screaming. No matter for what reason, he just should stop screaming. And that Ron did. Harry had no choice but looking directly at Ron when he took one last breath, his lungs piping. He looked directly at Harry when he exhaled for the last time and then his head lolled backwards.

Harry screamed. His bed was covered in urine and cold sweat, and he vomited heavily all over it. When his stomach was finally empty, he stared fearfully at the end of his bed where Ron was lying, his dead eyes still fixed on Harry. Don't move! Then he won't jump at you! Harry thought, panicking, pressing his stuffed cat to his chest. It was creating a barrier between himself and the dead body on his bed. As long as the cat was with him, Ron couldn't get him and take him with him to hell, punishing him for not helping him and finally killing him.

The light was turned on, and Harry still didn't dare to move. He stared at Ron who slowly turned in a pile of bed clothes. Still Harry didn't dare to look somewhere else. Any minute now, the blankets could start to change back in the dead body of his friend. When a hand touched him at his shoulders, the ban was broken and Harry jumped out of the bed. He entangled his legs in his bed sheets and fell, hitting his head on the night table on the way down to the floor. Shortly the world became blurry, and Harry saw stars, but he fought to keep his eyes open because he knew that the moment he would close them he would be back in the dungeons of Malfoy's Mansion. He crawled into the next corner, ignoring the blood that ran into his eyes.

_________

Light Arrow, White Cloud, Crying Horse and Black Hawk were still sitting in the living room when Light Arrow's alarm went off. The smell that hit them when they entered the room was horrible. Vomit and urine made a stomach-churning smell.

One look at Harry and Light Arrow knew that this was a hard case and would not be easy. So he turned to White Cloud. "We need the calming draught!" Behind the crowd he saw Severus' door opening. "Black Hawk, take care of Severus. I don't want him in here! Harry's condition could get worse by seeing someone from his past right now." Turning to Crying Horse, he said, "Decide if you want to come in or go out and close the door after you." With that said, he turned to Harry who still stared at the same spot on the end of his bed. Behind him he could hear Severus arguing with Black Hawk. The moment the physical battle started, Light Arrow heard the door close.

"I'm still here but I..." Crying Horse started, but fought hard against his gagging reflex.

"It's okay. Just remain at the door in case Severus uses magic to fight Black Hawk. If he comes in here, I will stun him and you will bring him out!" Light Arrow ordered. Crying Horse wasn't the person he would choose to have on his side here. The boy was too innocent and cheerful. It was good to have him in the camp, but this cheerfulness can die down very easily when he would see scenes like this too often.

Light Arrow addressed Harry several times, but the boy didn't react, and Light Arrow hadn't expected it. Harry was far away at the moment and close to insanity. Light Arrow had seen scenes like this often enough. It's very important to not make a wrong move now or he could destroy more than what already was destroyed in Harry. Finally Light Arrow decided to dare to touch Harry at the shoulder, but it was not a good move he realized when Harry's eyes widened and he jumped out of his grip and therefore out of the bed. Harry's head collided with the night table while his feet were entangled in the bed sheets. Light Arrow saw the eyes go back in his head for a moment, but Harry still struggled and escaped the bed sheets and crawled to the corner. Blood was dripping from the big wound on his head, close above his left eye.

"We need Doc Martens! Go and call him!" Light Arrow commanded Crying Horse. "Damn it, where are you White Cloud!" he cursed because without the calming draught he couldn't approach Harry and using magic to heal his wound could drive Harry completely into insanity.

"I'm here, Joseph." White Cloud laid a calming hand on her husband's shoulder. She knew that Light Arrow had bond to Harry like he had to Severus, Red Horse and Black Hawk and that made it hard for him to see Harry like that. She also knew that he needed a clear mind for threatening Harry and fear to drive him in insanity wasn't helping at all. "He needs your help. Don't panic. You did this thousands of times, and you will do it again." She handed him the vial after she had felt him breathe two times deeply to let the calming magic of his wife circulate threw his body more easily.

________

Harry fought against another wave of nausea while he pressed his back against the corner. Light Arrow was blocking his view on the bed and the spot where Ron had laid a few minutes ago. The old man didn't move, and Harry didn't want him to move. Not closer to him, but also not away. Harry's eyes were fixed exactly in the direction of the bed even though Light Arrow's big shoulder was blocking it.

Harry saw Light Arrow's lips move, but couldn't understand him. He could only hear his blood rush through his head. His left eye burned and it started to swell, but Harry fought against it because he didn't want to close it and risk seeing Ron again. Slowly he felt a tickling against his stomach. Without taking his glance from Light Arrow's shoulders, Harry tried to concentrate on the tickling. It was his stuffed animal. It purred against Harry's stomach and chest. This was calming and Harry slowly felt his surrounding coming more into focus again. He even could hear White Cloud's speaking with Light Arrow now. I'm a damn freak. It's all my fault. Why couldn't I die? Why did I have to survive? Harry thought in agony. He wanted to punish himself-- no, he needed to punish himself.

________

Light Arrow reached for the vial his wife was holding to him when he had calmed down. Before he could grab it Harry started to bang his head violently against the wall. It was a good thing that Crying Horse had left the room because the cracking noise Harry's head made while hitting the wall the second time would have made him vomit all over.

All caution thrown in the wind, Light Arrow grabbed Harry and pulled his back against his chest. The boy fought hard against him even though he should have blacked out by the wound on his head now. Only the shock was keeping him awake.

"No, leave me alone. I won't go to sleep, never again!" Harry screamed.

Light Arrow couldn't say how relieved he was about this outburst. Harry was back in reality and knew were he was and with whom he was. Now they could concentrate on helping him without the fear to drive him insane.

White Cloud had sat down on the soaked bed, not even noticing it while fixing Harry and Light Arrow with a very worried look. Relieved she looked up when Doc Martens came into the room.

"What happened?" the doctor asked.

Light Arrow explained Harry's reaction and what he did to his head.

Harry still was trying to get out of Light Arrows grip, but he realized it was useless and made him just more tired and sleepy. And sleeping was what he wanted to avoid. Finally his mind was clear enough to realize that he had to have a close eye on what the adults in the room would do, so they wouldn't put him to sleep. That made him still and listen carefully.

Doc Martens looked at the abruptly-calm boy. He looked Harry close into his eyes and studied his body and his reactions.

Harry's eyes darted around in the room to make out where each person was, and he tried to calm his breath to be able to listen to what they said. At the moment nobody said anything, and so he decided to make clear what he wanted in case nobody had heard him before. "I won't go to sleep again! Never again! You can't make me! I will fight you!"

"I will not make you sleep when you let me see your head, Harry," Doc Martens bargained with the distresses boy.

"'Kay!" Harry replied.

The doctor examined Harry's head and stopped the bleeding over his eye with wandless magic. "Harry, I will need to use my wand to wash your eye out. So don't panic!"

Harry fixed every move of Doc Martens hands with his eyes. "No sleeping spell!"

"No sleeping spell. I hold my promise, Harry!" Doc Martens said while slowly moving his wand in Harry's direction. Fast moves could frighten Harry or even move in back into his nightmare again.

Harry felt his eye clear, and he blinked several time before he was able to see through it again.

"Now, I will heal your fracture and try to lessen the symptoms of the concussion. That could make you sleepy, but I promise to hold you awake or wake you up as soon as I realize you feel asleep."

Harry panicked. He wasn't ready for this, and so he started to struggle again, but Light Arrow still had him in a death grip. Quickly Harry realized that it was useless and made him absolutely exhausted.

The doctor just waited for Harry to work himself out. It was useless to speak with him while he was fighting. "I will start now!" Dow Martens said when Harry stilled in Light Arrow's arms and looked at him again.

The magic was so soothing that Harry immediately slumped against Light Arrow's chest. His eyes closed, and he couldn't do anything against it, but inwardly he fought against the overwhelming urge of falling asleep. From time to time a different kind of magic flowed through his body. Like cold water, but not in a bad way. That made Harry able to stay awake.

"Harry, please open your eyes and look at me!" Doc Martens instructed the almost sleeping boy in Light Arrow's arms.

Harry struggled against his body and opened his eyes. The doc held his lit wand in front of Harry's right eyes and moved it. The same he did with his other eye and then Harry was instructed to follow the wand with his eyes. "Harry, I need you to drink this!"

"No!" Harry protested and tried to turn around to hide in Light Arrows chest, but the old man refused him this sanctuary. "No, I won't go to sleep!"

Light Arrow was surprised when the doctor gave him a sign to let Harry hide, and he lightened his grip.

Harry turned around and hid his face in Light Arrow's chest, clawing at his robes. He was so relieved to be allowed to hide that he didn't hear the door open behind him.

Black Hawk peeked in and looked nervously at White Cloud. "Ehm... can you come? We need you with Severus!" He felt embarrassed to have to ask for her help, but Severus had gone berserk, and they didn't know how to calm him. He had destroyed his whole room. Crying Horse had to calm the kids who had heard the tumult in the hall while Black Hawk had fought Severus back in his room, and so Red Horse had to join Black Hawk at his task to calm Severus. Unfortunately they were both the wrong persons for this, and so they only could hold him back from storming in Harry's room by pure violence.

"Go, take the calming draught with you for Severus. Knock him out, take him to our room, whatever, I will speak with him when we are done here," Light Arrow instructed his wife even so he knew that she would knew this without him stating it.

When White Cloud had left the room, Doc Martens spoke again. "It's just a Potion for your concussion, Harry. Without it you will black out soon!"

Harry held his breath considering what the doctor had said. Was he lying? But what if not, what when I black out, my head hurts really bad!

"Harry, I didn't lie to you before, did I! I kept sending refreshing magic into you when ever you started to drift asleep while I healed your head," Doc Martens argued with Harry.

Slowly Harry turned around. "Swear that it won't make me sleep!"

"I swear that this potion won't make you sleep!"

"'Kay," Harry said miserably. "Does it stop the pain?"

"Not completely, but I can give you a potion against the pain when we have gotten you in a tub," the doctor promised and held the vial for Harry to grab it.

When Harry had drowned the liquid, Doc Martens said, "Do you want me or Light Arrow to help you with the bath, Harry?"

"Light Arrow!" Harry said quickly.

"Okay, I will see you after the bath then and then we can talk about the pain potion." Doc Martens smiled reassuringly at Harry and helped him to stand up.

Harry looked down at his pajamas and finally realized in what a mass he was. "I'm sorry!" he said miserably and turned around to look at Light Arrow. The jeans and the shirt of the old man was drenched with Harry's urine and vomit, and Light Arrow's sleeves were full of Harry's blood in addition.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. The clothes can be washed," Light Arrow said and tried to turn Harry in the direction of the door, but Harry stared transfigured at his bed. It was mess and it reminded him of his nightmare. He started to tremble, but before he could get lost in his panic, Light Arrow sent calming magic into him through his shoulders.

"We won't come back here tonight, Harry. Let's go to the bathroom!" Light Arrow promised.

Harry looked at the old man, puzzled. He hadn't thought they would give in so easily. He didn't have to sleep tonight, Harry thought, relieved, not realizing that that wasn't what Light Arrow had said.


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