-II-

"I swear that this potion won't make you sleep!"

"'Kay," Harry said miserably. "Does it stop the pain?"

"Not completely, but I can give you a potion against the pain when we have gotten you in a tub," the doctor promised and held the vial for Harry to grab it.

When Harry had drowned the liquid, Doc Martens said, "Do you want me or Light Arrow to help you with the bath, Harry?"

"Light Arrow!" Harry said quickly.

"Okay, I will see you after the bath then and then we can talk about the pain potion." Doc Martens smiled reassuringly at Harry and helped him to stand up.

Harry looked down at his pajamas and finally realized in what a mass he was. "I'm sorry!" he said miserably and turned around to look at Light Arrow. The jeans and the shirt of the old man was drenched with Harry's urine and vomit, and Light Arrow's sleeves were full of Harry's blood in addition.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. The clothes can be washed," Light Arrow said and tried to turn Harry in the direction of the door, but Harry stared transfigured at his bed. It was mess and it reminded him of his nightmare. He started to tremble, but before he could get lost in his panic, Light Arrow sent calming magic into him through his shoulders.

"We won't come back here tonight, Harry. Let's go to the bathroom!" Light Arrow promised.

Harry looked at the old man, puzzled. He hadn't thought they would give in so easily. He didn't have to sleep tonight, Harry thought, relieved, not realizing that that wasn't what Light Arrow had said.

-II-

Something got stuck under the door when Doc Martens opened Severus's room. Fortunately the crack was big enough to slip through it. After entering the room Doc Martens bowed down to pick up Severus' wand that had blocked the door.

The sight he looked at when he faced the room didn't bode well. Severus was pressed against the wall by Red Horse, White Cloud stood beside him trying to calm the distressed wizard. Black Hawk sat on the destroyed bed and hid his face in his hands. The rest of the room was a battle field. Almost everything was smashed. The observing eyes of the old Healer saw blood here and there on the walls and the broken furniture.

"Let me go, Red Horse!" Severus shouted. "I will leave forever! Let go!"

"Calm down, Severus! Harry is okay!" White Cloud desperately tried to calm the wizard, but she was exhausted and in shock. It was one thing to take care of patients, but another for people you called your family.

Doc Martens laid a calming hand on White Cloud's shoulder. "I will take over now. Why don't you sit down beside Black Hawk and you two share this vial?" Doc Martens suggested and pointed at the calming draught in the old woman's hand.

White Cloud looked thankfully at the Healer and smiled. She made room for him and followed his instructions.

"Don't you dare touch me! Get away from me! I'll pack my things and leave!" Severus spat at Doc Martens and tried to move away from him. Red Horse had a death grip on him and pressed him against the wall, so Severus couldn't move away.

"Red Horse?" Doc Martens said calmly.

"He'll hurt himself! I won't let him go!" Red Horse said mechanically. This was his brother, and he wouldn't let go of him when he had to fear he would do something stupid. If they thought he didn't notice what was wrong with Severus, they were daft. Red Horse might not have talked much, but he loved his family more than anything else, and Severus was part of it. He was his little brother, and if it is necessary, he would force him to stop hurting himself.

"Do you plan to hurt yourself, Severus?" Doc Martens asked.

"I will hurt you and everyone else who gets in my way, and I will hurt Dumbledore, the damn old bastard for getting me to come here!" Severus barked and trashed around again.

Red Horse growled. "You will not and you will not hurt yourself. I can see it in your eyes. I know you want to do it!"

Severus looked at Red Horse, shocked. He loved the calm and withdrawn wizard like an older brother. He was the level-headed brother. They had spent a lot of nights outside camping. Sometimes without saying a word, but sometimes speaking as if they talked all the time. Red Horse offered good advice and was a good listener, but he could only do it for people he was very close to. How can he know what I want to do? Yes, Severus could hardly fight the urge to hurt himself. If there would be a knife or his wand close by, he wouldn't even be able to run, but would cut himself right in front of them. Severus still stared in Red Horse's eyes when he felt a hand on his chest. "No!" he protested but it was too late. The calming magic ran into his body and was soaked up by his body like a dry sponge. Against White Cloud's magic, Severus could fight if he was angry and desperate enough, but against the Healer's magic he was no match.

"You need to calm down, Severus. Red Horse won't let go before you are calm and willing to talk," Doc Martens said and send more calming magic into the distressed wizard.

Severus just groaned; he knew he had no chance against Red Horse and the doctor.

"Will you let him heal you now?" Red Horse asked Severus sternly.

Severus nodded weakly and let himself slide down against the wall when Red Horse let go of him.

The Healer knelt in front of the slummed down wizard. "Severus, Harry is okay. You know it wouldn't have been good if you would have been into the room. Harry was lost in his nightmare and seeing a person from his past could have send him even deeper in it and in the worst case would have driven him in insanity. Did you want this?"

"Go away!" Severus said weakly. He had lost and proven again that he wasn't able to control himself. He was a danger for his boys and it would be better to leave them there and go away.

Doc Martens shook his head, seeing Severus broken and lost. "I will not go away, Severus! I will heal your wounds now and then we will talk."

"There is nothing to talk about," Severus whispered brokenly.

"Oh, there is a lot to talk about, and there will be no running away." The Healer heard the door close and looked over his shoulder. White Cloud and Black Hawk had left the room, but Red Horse stood, his arms crossed over his chest, like a body guard blocking the door. The Healer smiled at the stoic man and turned back to his patient. He quickly ran his wand over the wizard and healed all the wounds he had inflicted upon himself by damaging the room. "Do I need to check you or Black Hawk for wounds as well, Red Horse?"

"I'm fine, but I don't know about Black Hawk. When I came in, the room was destroyed. I don't know if he is injured, he didn't mention it," Red Horse said calmly.

"You will stay where you are!" The Healer instructed Severus and then stood up to repair the bed and move the damaged furniture to the other end of the room. "Will you be able to go to the bed or do you need help?"

"Leave me alone!" Severus spat again. "I don't need your help! I will leave the moment you leave."

Doc Martens sighed and levitated the stubborn wizard onto the bed, ignoring the glare he got from Severus for it.

When Light Arrow entered the room, Red Horse left. The old man sat down on the end of Severus bed and laid his hand on Severus right shin. "How is he?"

"Stubborn as always. He threatens to leave as soon as we let him out of sight. He hurt himself by destroying the room, and I fear the urge to hurt himself is still very prominent," Doc Martens explained while letting calming magic flow into the lying wizard.

"You can't imprison me! I will leave. I don't belong here. You don't even let me help!" Severus said brokenly.

"Severus, Harry found reality easier without someone he already knew during the situation in his nightmare, and when you are able to think clearly again, you will realize this as well. That's the reason why I didn't want you to help," Light Arrow explained.

"Go away!" Severus said. It was the only thing that came in his head when they had an answer for everything.

"Severus, I will keep your wand until you are better," Doc Martens said, sighing.

"You can't! It's mine!" Severus barked angrily and tried to sit up. The shot of calming magic that was forced through his body to prevent him from sitting up almost made him lose control over his bladder. He was shocked. If Doc Martens used that kind of magic to restrain him, he was having serious problems.

The door opened again, and Red Horse arranged a camping mat and a sleeping bag in front of the door.

"Like I said, I will keep your wand until we have our talk tomorrow. Then I will decide if I will give it back to you. As your Healer I'm allowed do this when your health is in danger. I fear you will hurt yourself when I give it to you now," the Healer explained calmly.

Severus growled and turned to face the wall.

"Where is Harry?" the Healer asked Light Arrow.

"In Black Hawk's room. They are waiting for you," the old man explained.

Red Horse moved his mat temporarily to let the Healer through the door.

"Good night gentleman. I will see you in the morning!"

"Severus, what was this all about?" Light Arrow asked while scooting closer to Severus, laying a hand on the lying man's shoulder.

Severus tried to shrug the hand away without success. "I don't want to talk!"

"Severus, you are helping the boys enough. You need to accept that in some situations it is better for you to stay out of the therapy."

"Why?" Severus said, agitated, and turned around. The hand that had rested on his shoulder now lay on his chest.

"Because sometimes it is better to get help from person that didn't know you from better times or worse times. Sometimes it is easier to open up to strangers. You have your own problems lately, Severus, and we need you to work on them as well. Letting us take care of your boys gives you time to heal as well. I'm worried about you that a situation like this could case such a reaction from you. You are pushing yourself too much. You want to help them, but trying to be there all the time and getting yourself distressed like this isn't helping them. They will need you tomorrow again and you think about running away. Helping them with all or with nothing, Severus? Is that what you think helping is?"

That stung, and Severus looked at the old man, hurt . "I try my best!"

"No, you are running away. The moment we restrict you in something you think you are responsible to do, you want to run away. Your big brother has to sleep in front of your door and hold you back from hurting yourself, Severus. Behaving like this is not helping the boys nor yourself. I told you once and I tell you again, you can only help your boys when you accept help yourself. Fighting us isn't helping anyone."

"Stop!" Severus pleaded and closed his eyes against the tears that were forming in them.

"Why? Because you don't want to hear the truth?" Light Arrow asked seriously. He hated to pain his son like this, but it was the only way for him to see reason.

"No, please stop. I understand!" Severus said miserably and turned to face the wall again. He covered his ears even though he knew Light Arrow has his ways to let him listen nevertheless.

"You will stay?" Light Arrow asked, using magic to get his voice through Severus' hands.

"Yes," Severus croaked.

"You won't hurt yourself?"

"I'll try," Severus said miserably.

"I will make sure of that!" Red Horse said determinedly from his sleeping place in front of the door.

Severus whimpered, and Light Arrow laid a calming hand on his shoulder. "He is just worried, Severus, not mad at you."

Severus nodded, not because he believed the old man but in hope that by nodding it would become true. Sometimes he still felt like the scared fifteen year old so many years ago.

Something was pressed against his chest, and Light Arrow pried his right arm from his ear. Then he placed the hand against the thing at his chest. It was Tas, and Severus drew the stuffed animal closer to his chest, enjoying the calming purr that came from the toy.

"Sleep, my son," Light Arrow said, kissed Severus' head and then left.

Back in the hall, Light Arrow breathed deeply and let his magic flow through all the rooms. Only Aiden was in his room, all the other children were gathered in Melissa's room and White Cloud was reading something to them. Crying Horse was with Draco and it seemed both were already sleeping. Light Arrow was surprised, but positively surprised that Draco felt comfortable enough with Crying Horse to fall asleep in the same room. At least they made fast progress with one of the boys. Black Hawk and Harry were still awake in Black Hawk's room, and Doc Martens was there as well. So all was taken care of, and Light Arrow decided to go outside.

"Hey, Tohiadedi," Light Arrow greeted the horse. "Your boy is quite a challenge, you know?"

The horse neighed, agreeing, and let the old man pet his head.

"He is so much like Severus; always a challenge and never to be healed completely," Light Arrow mused sadly.

Tohiadedi bumped his head against the old man's chest as if to tell him to hold his head high and not to give up.

"Sometimes it's hard, and I feel very old, my friend," Light Arrow said, exhausted.

"And it would be inhuman if it would be any other way, Light Arrow!"

Light Arrow jerked around and looked at Doc Martens, surprised.

"Do I have to worry about you?" the Healer asked, stepping closer to the head of the camp.

Light Arrow wanted to wave it away, but couldn't manage to open his mouth, so he just looked away.

"It's okay to feel exhausted, Light Arrow," Doc Martens said and laid a hand on the old man's shoulder. "Is it okay if I send some calming magic into you?"

Light Arrow sighed. "I... I..."

"Please let me calm you. Just a little bit, Light Arrow. Everyone needs some help from time to time. That's what you tell your kids all the time."

"Okay," Light Arrow gave in and then soothing magic flew like thick honey through his body. "I'm old!"

"No, just exhausted," the Healer assured him.

"They were some challenging weeks. You almost had no sleep. You should lengthen your day naps," the Healer suggested.

"We don't want the kids to notice," Light Arrow stated.

"Why not? They already think you are not human by needing almost no sleep."

Light Arrow laughed. "Severus is the one they believe to be a vampire."

"Longer naps! That a medical prescription," the Healer said seriously.

"Yes, Healer," Light Arrow said teasingly. Then he laid one of his hands over the Healer's. "I'm okay now, Doc."

Doc Martens looked at him still seriously. "Severus is not a helpless case! He will heal like all the others. Drawbacks are normal."

Light Arrow knew all of this when he thought professionally, but sometimes it was hard to see one of his kids so troubled and helpless. Sometimes, he wondered if what he did was enough, or if he could have been better and of more help. "I know, but sometimes it is hard to see it like this; especially when he behaves like he did today. As if he still is the boy who came here so many years ago, believing he had killed his father on purpose and that he is the worse kind of human being in this world."

"He is not thinking like this anymore, Light Arrow. He takes care of two boys, and he tries hard to get his own life under control. You know how important the first years and the childhood are to lay important stones of being able to handle your life alone one day. You can't make up what was neglected of him and Harry in their childhood. They always will need help from time to time to get back on the right path, back to handling their life alone. It's not bad and it doesn't mean you didn't do your work right, Light Arrow. You can't correct everything or what had been made wrong in their childhood. You can just help them to go their stony way. Sometimes more and sometimes less. But always look for yourself as well or some day you won't be able to help anyone at all," Doc Martens said seriously.

"Thank you," Light Arrow said and sighed. "I know you are right. I think I should go and sleep now. How is Harry?"

"He is very well. He even opened up to Black Hawk, telling him about his nightmare. He thought he had killed his friend because he wished for the screams to stop exactly in the moment Ron died. We were able to let him see reason, and now he is sleeping with Black Hawk at his side. I think he will make it through the night without another nightmare. He didn't let go of his cat, and so you need to clean it tomorrow. I wish your wife would make me one as well," the Healer said, grinning.

Light Arrow laughed. "Oh, she would be delighted to do so."