1994

Walking from the Castle of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Severus Snape scowled darkly. He hated his wretched life, he hated his job, and he hated the meetings he had to attend every few weeks. What was there to talk about? The Dark Lord was still not resurrected- and would not be if he had anything to do with it- and Harry Potter, the bloody little brat though he was, was still safely hidden away from the Death Eaters as well as the rest of the wizarding world. What was left to talk about? Perhaps what kind of tea they should serve once the Dark Lord rose?

Lucius probably just wants to show off a new toy or something, Severus thought moodily. Why did he constantly have to be put through such useless assemblies? He had not heard one piece of truly valuable information in his spying assignment in thirteen years. Damn waste of time!

Placing his bone white mask over his naturally pale face, the Potions Master stalked off. He sneered at the mask, wishing he could burn it and everything it stood for. How he wished he could burn all of his dark arts books, his Death Eater robes, anything that could possibly remind him of his past, horrible mistakes, and his years of endless misery. But that was wishful thinking only. There was no way he could carry out his desires as the simple fact of it all was he needed everything he despised so greatly. He still needed to adorn his robe and mask, he still needed his dark books.

What a wretched existence you lead, Severus allowed only the briefest moment of self pity before he appearated away into the night.

&&&&&

Once the world came back into focus, the tired spy stalked off into the forest surrounding Malfoy manner, towards the light. Ironic, he thought with a sneer. Surely that was where Lucius was holding his grand waste of everybody’s time, yes?

Looking up to the moon before he made it under the cover of the trees’ canopy, the professor sighed. He hated being a spy, he hated his life, but most importantly, he hated himself. Why did he have to live with such as unfortunate life? How had his life gotten so out of order? But he knew the answer to that; it had all ready started the moment of his conception…

After joining in the crowd of numerous lunatics, Severus made himself comfortable in the back. He was neither first nor last, as other Death Eaters came filing in after him. Lucius was at the front greeting his “guests”. Snape was glad for the mask or everyone would have seen him scoff at the pureblood. Merlin he hated that blond wizard.

Carefully Occuluding his mind, the Potions Master made sure not to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. Ever since he could remember, Severus had always been good at being invisible without the use of magic. With his customary black he could easily slip in and out without being detected or missed. An unfortunate, but advantageous skill he had acquired over his many years of abuse.

“My brothers!” Lucius called out once everyone seemed to be in attendance. It was only then that Severus realized that there were no women attending the assembly this evening. “We have worked long and hard to raise our master from his grave, and I understand your fatigue. So tonight, I have arranged a little special fun for the gentlemen.”

“Damnit!” Severus hissed almost soundlessly. When it was “fun night” for the men, that meant it would be hell for some women.

What Lucius and the others seemed called amusement was actually classified as rape and murder. This “game” was held every so often to keep members entertained and loyal. Usually a woman was brought out before the ring of Death Eaters, raped by one while his companions cheered him on and sneered at her plight, before they got tired of her and the poor girl was killed on the spot. She was usually a Muggle or Muggle-born, but every once and a while they took a half-blood too. After the “first kill,” the others went out to find their own victims. It was more than barbaric.

In his career of being an actual Death Eater and then as a spy, Severus had never participated in any of the “games” held over the past sixteen years, though of course he heard reports of them from other Death Eaters bragging their sport. As a loyal Death Eater, the Dark Lord always had use of him brewing potions and under Albus he was always spying and keeping his ears open. But even loyal to Voldemort, Severus had never begged to be a part of this game. It was just… far too vicious for his taste. He could only think of Lily when such talk was brought up and he could never bring himself to kill a woman. Not directly anyway…

As the crowd cheered, Severus remained silent, wondering the best course he should take. Would anyone notice that he had gone, or would they think he had not bothered to come at all? What excuse could he make? There was no school for several months and he always used the potions excuse. Perhaps he should just argue that these types of meetings were worthless?

Just then, with a smart crack, Lucius brought forward his prey. The woman was small in stature, only about five feet tall. She was slender, hardly a curve to her body. Severs watched as the mass of curly blond hair lifted her head to reveal frightened, wild blue eyes. The Potions Master’s heart nearly stopped when he realized that it was not a woman at all, but a young girl. A nine or ten year old girl that was trembling so terribly, the professor wondered if she were going to snap from the tension.

With a merciless sneer, Lucius looked down at his kill with satisfied grey eyes. The crowd became wild with excitement as the Death Eater leader removed his cloak with vivid gestures, while all the while keeping his mask firmly in place. Wretched coward! Damned bastard! Severus’s mind screamed as he watched the terrified girl try to shrink away before Lucius grabbed her in a rape-choke hold.

With tears streaming down her eyes, the girl began to weep, eliciting more jeers from the crowd of aroused men. “Please,” she cried softly to Lucius. “Please, let me go!” But her pleas were as useless as Hagrid in potions class. There was no chance in hell that the esteemed Malfoy would even consider pitying a poor Muggle or Muggle-born girl.

“What’s this? Crying are we?” he sneered down at her. “If you’re going to grow up to be a big witch, you shouldn’t have tears? What would the other wizards and witches think?”

“I-I don’t even know you! Any of you!” she begged softly. “Please let me go!” she dissolved into tears.

By this time, Severus had found his way forward and he tried to catch eyes with the girl. He had had enough of this, all of it! If he could just look into the girl’s eyes then he could try and do something! Anything was better than to see Lucius, the sick pervert, have his way with a ten year old girl! But should he? He was usually not to interfere with Death Eater activity; Dumbledore had left clear instructions in such circumstances such as this, and thus far in his life, Severus had followed that rule to the T- but a ten-year-old girl? Damn Lucius, Dumbledore, and the Dark Lord himself!

Realizing that everyone was too busy with watching the cute blond girl and the disgusting blond wizard, Snape took off his mask. The act caught the girl’s terrified gaze and he looked deep into her eyes. At first she was scared, but Severus tried to make her understand that he was not going to hurt her before he even attempted to enter her mind.

As Lucius advanced the girl, a spell was shot out and enveloped the frightened girl. She glowed blue for a moment and whispered, “Thank you!” before she was suddenly gone.

At first the crowd of Death Eaters stood a moment in shocked confusion. But after a moment, furious, Lucius turned and shot the wizard who had his wand up. Everyone, including Snape, who had saved the girl, ducked down and in the confusion, managed to get several feet away and into a different location by the time the other Death Eaters had risen and Lucius began his reign of questioning. “Who did that? Who!” he bellowed.

Although the senior Death Eater was dense at time, Severus knew that Lucius was smart enough to know he had hit his target as he had traced where the beam of magic had come from. Looking down at his bleeding hand, the spy desperately tried to think of something to do to get away. If he was discovered, that would be it. There would be nothing he could do except pray for death quickly. Thoughts of killing himself ran through the wizard’s head, but because of a spell Dumbledore had cast years ago, that would have been impossible. Damned old fool! he cursed to himself.

Although panicked, Severus was able to think rationally, and realized that he was near the Apparate sight. If he could inch a foot away, he could get away! Very quietly, the scout moved away stealthily. Lucius was just about to him and he had several more inches to go. Blood trickled down his hand and onto the bottom of his robes. He dared not heal himself at the moment, drawing his wand and thereby drawing attention to himself.

But right before Severus was about to Apparate, someone grabbed his hand. Fear spiked through the spy and cold dread spread through his limbs. His hand was raised slowly and he closed his eyes for a moment, before turning around to face the cold gray eyes of Lucius. Malfoy’s face was twisted into a mask of pure rage.

Without ceremony, the senior Death Eater grabbed Severus’s mask with his other hand and ripped it off the traitor’s face. “You!” Lucius exclaimed upon seeing who he had thought was a loyal member of the Dark Lord’s minions. “Snape!” it seemed he could not get out of the shock.

With his heart pounding in his ears, Severus was able to take advantage of the situation and tear his hand away from the blond. With a disgusted sneer he stumbled backwards an inch before he apparated away, leaving the stunned and enraged crowd of Death Eaters.

&&&&&

The next moment Severus found himself in his house at Spinner’s End. He could not believe that he had gotten away as easily as he had. But he pushed back his over confidence and began Flooing all of this belongings away to his home at Hogwarts as fast as he could. Everything he had, his books, his clothes, but especially the items that he suspected could be horcrux of the Dark Lord. Everything.

After running around through the house, becoming exhausted using so much magic, Severus almost thought he had gotten away when he heard several loud cracks. “Shit!” he hiss as he tried to run out the back door. Unfortunately for him, Lucius and several others were on him like bloodhounds, and the moment they saw him, they began throwing several nasty cruses and hexes his way.

For the most part, the spells were wild and off target, but several hit the spy as he struggled to get away, running at neck-breaking speed down the Muggle street. Pain pulsed through Severus’s body, but then he had been injured like this before. Ignoring the searing pain, Snape’s mind was thinking fast and he knew he had to get away or he would die. Not knowing exactly what he was doing, the desperate wizard simple apparated, telling his mind to take him someplace safe. Anywhere! Somewhere where I can just rest!

In the next instant, Severus fell to the ground with an ungraceful thud. Unable to stifle a groan, the injured wizard rolled over to find himself close to his home, at the playground that he and Lily had always met at in the summer. Closing his eyes again, the Potions Master took several deep breaths before sitting up. He looked around cautiously, but found that the Death Eaters hunting him were gone; had probably taken off a second after their convict had.

Unable to stop a sneer, Severus stood up gingerly, thinking how stupid Death Eaters really were. If they had waited but a moment, they would have heard another crack and realized that he had basically done a round about. They were almost as bad as several of the students that he taught. Longbottom came to mind…

But standing up took a lot more effort than the Potions Master had previously thought. He staggered over to the jungle gym and leaned heavily against it. What would he do now? The Death Eaters would station people around Spinner’s End for sure by the time the night was out. He could not get to Hogwarts as there was no one there in the summer but him and Hagrid, and Hagrid was away for a while this summer! Besides, he could not make the hike up to the castle, and even if he could, he was sure there would be Death Eaters waiting there for him. All seemed hopeless.

Looking down at his ebony wand, the Slytherin began to check himself medically. Unfortunately, his magic reserves were far too stressed, and he knew he should not do much magic anymore or he could risk hurting himself further in the long run. He had no desire of ending up a squib, thank you very much. But what was he to do? He could hardly walk, and he was slowly bleeding to death.

An idea struck him and he took out several potions he always carried about his person. Un-shrinking the vials, he downed three of them; one for slowing blood flow, one for blood replenishing, and the last was Pepper Up Potion to give stamina. That would ensure he would survive the night… he hoped, but he needed to go somewhere to heal himself properly. But where in this blasted Muggle neighborhood could he go?

Frustrated and panicked, the Potions Master let his arms dangle uselessly at his sides. But then he felt something strange in his pocket. Frowning, he could not think about what it could be, as he often organized everything, and always knew where everything was at all times. But as he drew out the offending object, he found himself holding a bottle cap.

“What the hell?” he wondered out loud, and before he knew it, the blasted little thing had him twirling about and carried away.

Landing for the second time that night on his face, Severus groaned again. He stared viciously at the little bottle cap as though it had hurt him on purpose. But with a start, the wizard realized that the stupid little cap had been a portkey. A porkkey! But where exactly was he at?

Sitting up was harder the second time around, but the wizard found himself in a Muggle housing development. All the houses were sickeningly identical, right down to what trees planted where. Although he was an ordered and logical man, Severus could not but be disgusted by the lack of individuality of each home. It was far too disturbing really.

But Snape crawled to his feet and staggered forward towards a little houses, hoping to get some inkling of where in the wide world he was. With his vision darkening further, the wizard cursed, but found the number of the house. Number four Privet Drive.

Severus’s eyes widened with shock. Was number four Privet Drive not supposed to be Potter’s home? That blasted portkey had taken him to the glorious dwelling of the little snot Potter? “I’ll kill you yet, Albus,” Snape vowed venomously, but could not deny- at least to himself- the relief he felt of having a place to go. Surely Potter would help him, if he ordered him to, right? The little toe-rag would not want to have his professor’s death on his hands, right? Right.

Taking out his wand, the Potions Master pointed it at the lock and opened the door. Although it was dark, he could already tell he was in a den of evil. He could see lace and frills everywhere. No wonder the boy was so damn annoying, Petunia probably spoiled him rotten, the little good for nothing!

But before he could dwell on his dislike of Potter and his aunt, Severus’s body began to fail. Protesting under his light weight, Severus’s legs gave out, and he began to fall. His mind too, also began to shut down as he had pushed his body far too hard. There was a moment that as he fell, the wizard was afraid that he might fall to the floor and never get up, or that someone would find him and let him bleed to death. But those thoughts came to nothing as he lost consciousness, never knowing where he fell.