Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Story Notes:

Hello all!  The poetry that shows up in this fic is based off of Dr. Seuss' "Fox in Socks" book, which was my favorite when I was a kid because of the outrageous tongue-twisters.  While I am not the genius that Dr. Seuss was, I think you'll enjoy the turns of Harry's poetry in this fic.  It's even more amusing if you create a mental picture for each line, lol.  Enjoy!

 

Disclaimer:  I do not own anything associated with J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter Series or Dr. Seuss' book "Fox in Socks."  This writing was done for enjoyment alone, not for money.

Snape in Cape

Grape.

Ape.

Cape.

Snape.

 

Snape in cape.

Grape in ape.

 

Snape on grape with ape in cape.

Cape on grape in Snape with ape.

Grape on Snape by ape on cape.

 

Owls with towels come.

Owls with teas come.

Owls with towels and teas and bees come.

 

Look, sir.  Look, sir.  Professor Snape, sir.

Let's scowl at owls with teas, sir.

Let's scowl at owls with bees, sir.

 

First, we'll scowl foul at the owl with towels.

Then, we'll scowl foul at the owl with bees.

 

Oh, now they've switched around, Professor Snape...

Grape on owls and owls on ape.

Snape with bees and teas on cape.

Bees with towels and owls with scowls.

 

And now we come to shape and tape, sir.

Try to say this Professor Snape, sir.

 

Owls in towels have shape.

Owls with scowls have tape.

Snape sees bees have shape.

Snape frees bees from tape.

 

Please, sir.  I don't think this tape is real, sir.

My eyes only gape at this scape, sir.

I see all the towels and bees, sir.

I hear all those owls and teas, sir.

But I'm confused, Professor Snape, sir.

 

I'm sorry, Professor Snape, sir.

 

Here's a simple potion to make.

Here's a simple potion that's fake.

 

One grape.

Blue grape.

Brew grape?

Spew grape!

 

He spews blue grape.

Snape brews spewed ape.

 

Snape in cape brews blue-

 

A giant hand smacking his desk brought Harry Potter out of reverie.  "POTTER!  What is this nonsense you're copying down instead of notes?"

 

Uh-oh.

 

"Uh, it's nothing Professor Snape, sir.  I just-"

 

"No excuses Potter!  Twenty points from Gryffindor and detention at 8:00 p.m. sharp in my office.  Since you like writing poetry so well, you can write a poem using for me using words like ‘Amortentia' and ‘Veritiserum.'  Now get to work!" he growled, smacking Harry's desk one last time for good measure.

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck...

 

Fuck.

Buck.

Truck.

Duck.  

 

Fuck on duck.

Truck on buck.

 

Duck will fuck with buck in truck.

Buck will fuck while-

 

"POTTER!"

The End.
Chapter End Notes:
Sorry about the profanity at the end; I just like the idea of Harry taking his anger at Snape and setting it to poetry as an act of defiance. Anyway, this was something rather different for me to write, so please take a moment to let me know if you liked it. Thanks for reading!

-P.G.

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