Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:
To avoid any confusion, please refer to this map throughout this chapter and those that follow: http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r275/Kryptoniterush/carny2.jpg Simply copy&paste the link to a new window and refer to it whenever a character moves around the carnival or takes in its appearance.

Thanks - to my beta, Ash!
Looking Closer

Harry did not think he could be happier at that moment.

He had returned to the bathroom after eating a meal brought to him by a house elf, since he'd missed dinner in the commotion of his healed eyesight. He didn't know where Severus was, though Harry hadn't bothered to check, but Mina was still in the other room where she was reading a letter delivered to her earlier.

Staring at his own reflection, Harry smiled and continued to absorb every tiny detail he noticed about his face and hair. He could see, without his glasses, and it was amazing! With one final scan, Harry stepped away from the sink, dressed in his pyjamas because he had recently had a shower, and entered the main room.

'You're still here?' Harry asked.

Even though he was pleased Mina hadn't left, the boy was also surprised to see her as he thought she had little reason to stay. He looked around for Severus, but the man wasn't anywhere in sight and his bedroom door remained firmly shut - unlike Harry's, which had been left wide open.

'I wanted to say goodnight to you, Harry.' Mina pocketed the letter and tried to offer him a smile.

Harry, seeing more clearly than he ever had, noticed her sadness. The sapphire orbs of her eyes emotionally resembled blue tear-drops as she glanced away. He felt a nudge on his shoulder and instinctively pulled away, thinking it was Severus shoving him in a direction again. He felt bad, when he realised it was Mina, because his action seemed to have made her sadder.

'Come on, it's time for you to sleep.' Mina instructed firmly. 'I know you probably don't feel too tired at this hour, but you need to rest.'

Actually, Harry felt exhausted and was trying not to sway on his feet. Yawning, he nodded and moved to enter his room, feeling unsure when she followed him to tuck him into bed. Offering her a wide smile, he said goodnight and rolled over to watch the stars through his window, which easily lulled him to sleep.

Mina stepped out of Harry's bedroom and closed the door until it was ajar. Turning, Mina saw Severus moving to sit on a sofa in the main room. He watched her carefully when she crossed the space of the tent and sat beside him with considerate regard for personal space.

They said nothing for a moment, until Severus broke the silence.

'You lied to the boy.' He said in calm statement of fact. 'You did not wish to bid him goodnight.'

'I did.' Mina returned and looked at him with a darkened expression. 'But yes, I lied. I wanted to talk to you, Severus. Compared to the others here, you are...different.' A small smile appeared on her face as she spoke.

'Different, how?' Severus narrowed his eyes at her, wondering if he was being accused of something and what exactly she wanted to talk to him about.

'You see things as I do.' Mina explained. 'You know loss and suffering, in ways we all do...but it's different for us, isn't it?' She looked at her hands, which were folded on her lap. 'It isn't the same, feeling grief and turmoil while knowing that at some point, we also created it. Maybe not then, in that exact moment where our world shatters from what we felt comfortable in knowing, but some time and some place...we were responsible for the same.'

Before he could question what she was talking about, Severus tried to control his urge to flinch and flee when she reached towards him. With her hands firmly holding his left forearm, he realised what she was referring to; Mina raised the black material of his sleeve and sadness filled her in a manner reflective of when Lily was upset. He tore his gaze away, wanting to snatch back his arm and would have, had she not gripped it so tightly.

'How did you know?' Severus asked instead. 'Do you...?'

'No.' Mina released his arm. 'I was never one of them. I could sense it about you, though.' She looked at him, as curious and somehow understanding as always. 'We all have our pasts. By Carny rule, we are under no obligation to tell those stories. Will you tell me yours, Severus?' She asked tentatively. 'I would very much like to hear it.'

'It is not something I wish to share, nor do I take pride in such recollections.' Severus narrowed his eyes. 'Carny law also states that one must respect the declination.'

Mina nodded and looked away. He expected her to be annoyed or disappointed by his rejection to tell her anything, therefore Severus was quite surprised when she rose from her seat and offered him a genuinely kind smile.

'When you're ready to take a chance and allow someone to know you, whenever that may be, Severus...' Mina said in a whispered tone. 'I will be here to listen. And then, if you so wish, I shall tell anything you would like to know regarding myself, this carnival, or...the one thing about Harry you cannot see, no matter how hard you may try. If you even try at all.' She leaned closer to his face, her breath mixing with his as she continued to speak, her blue eyes staring intently into his obsidian ones.

'Just know...I can see the truth.' Mina said strongly. 'I know, despite the mark of evil on your arm, that you're a good man. You're not a hero, Severus...you're much better, because I truly believe it is one thing to repel darkness, and another to overcome it. I would be honoured to hear your story, should you ever entrust it to me.'

And with a final breath against his cheek, which could almost be considered a kiss, Mina pulled away and was gone from the tent. Severus sat there, shocked and uncomfortable, as he tried to make sense of what had happened. He didn't understand her at all, but in that moment something had changed. He couldn't work out what it was.

The brief incident when he had lowered his guard...Severus feared she had seen something else in his eyes.

 


 

The following morning greeted the carnival with a downpour of rain. The water fell so heavily, that by eight o'clock there wasn't a single guest in sight. So, Carter Carnival did not open and most of the residences remained in their personal tents or gathered in the main one to pass the time with relaxation and mingling. Harry had been surprised at breakfast to see so many carnies in the tent. He soon adapted and decided to spend the day with Ryan and Pete, as Mina said she had things to do.

Not everyone was able to enjoy the free time, however. There were those who cast water repelling charms over themselves and headed out into the downpour, going to tend to the animals and partake in their regular duties.

Severus left the main tent around ten o'clock, deciding the boy would be fine amongst the others. He rose from his seat and walked away without Harry instantly noticing. He ducked his head, as the rain was still falling down strongly. With a simple spell, he remained mostly dry while Severus walked the thin path to the carnival. He didn't know why he felt the urge to walk around; perhaps he was missing the long corridors of Hogwarts, which always provided him with plenty of time to himself and the opportunity to clear his mind.

Upon deciding to remain at the carnival for the holidays, Severus had been informed he could have anything he requested, and therefore knew a Potions laboratory of his own would not be out of the question. As he walked the narrow path and wandered by the Smashers ride, Severus watched the ground where the water-drops landed, and felt oddly free to have not asked for the lab. He had distanced himself from his usual habits and surroundings, where he wasn't expected to maintain an image or be frequently sighted in front of a steaming cauldron.

It was a secret he mostly kept to himself: Severus wasn't the most fond of Potions as one believed.

Yes, he took great accomplishment in his work and marvelled in the entire subject; however, during his school days he wasn't the richest boy in his class or the one with the purest blood in his house. He was neither overly handsome nor exceptionally charming. Severus was a half-blood with good grades and second-hand belongings. There weren't many outstanding qualities to separate him from his classmates, until he received his first Potions grade. He was an “Exceeds Expectations” student in all his classes, on average, except with Potions where it was almost too easy to reach the top of the class. He allowed Lily to surpass him on occasion, though she often did so with his notes, yet overall Severus was clearly talented and no doubt it was because of his Prince bloodline inheritance. Even his own father could not find fault in his high grades in that one subject, on those rare times his mother mentioned them in a showing of pride for her son.

Even so, it was not where Severus had academically focused all his energy upon during school. His favourite subject had been Defence Against the Dark Arts, though he wasn't quite as good at the class as he'd have liked. Of course, it was always harder when Sirius Black considered him his most threatening competition, just as James Potter did for Transfiguration. It often angered Severus, how they wouldn't let him have that one victory...to actually be good at something. They were pure-bloods, charming, and handsome, so Severus always thought it was selfish of them to harass him even with something they cared less about - being one of the most academic in a class.

Potions was where he easily excelled, therefore Potions was the path Severus followed.

Though absorbed in his thoughts and memories, Severus had not wandered far. He passed by the entrance to the carnival and the sideshows, until he came to pause across from the Space Flier ride. There was a large pen that intrigued him. Even over the roar of the rain, Severus heard a softened sound of distress.

Approaching closely, he looked over and realised the fencing at the far back of the pen was crumbled, and a lone elephant was lying on its side. He looked around the area, from what he could see with the rain...no one appeared to be around. Stripping his outer black robe, Severus draped it over the fence and cast a protective charm on it so his robe wouldn't become soaked. He pushed up the sleeves of his white shirt and placed his wand in his mouth in a way a dog would hold a bone, as he gripped the wooden fence and climbed over it. Jumping down the last short distance to the hay-covered ground, Severus cautiously approached the large elephant. He guessed it was a female - from the short tusks, and was fully grown - based on her size. He looked her over, being extremely careful of his footing and distance in case she lashed out. Severus had no experience with elephants, but animals in general he knew a bit about. He'd earned high marks in Care of Magical Creatures during school, as well.

Unsure what to do, Severus first looked for any injuries and saw a thin river of blood seeping into the rain from one of her legs. There was a perfectly straight cut on her leg, which he knew could not have happened by accident. Considering sending for help, Severus met eyes with the remarkable creature and her emotions seemed to project themselves onto him. She felt vulnerable and abandoned, longing for a loved one she lost, yet was too proud to call out for help and show her weakness to another. Gripping his wand, Severus protected the wound from the rain and dirt, his gaze remaining mixed with the elephant's golden eyes as he cast the spell.

'Will to allow me to assist you?' Severus shouted over the rain.

Amazingly, the elephant nodded her head and stopped trying to get up. He didn't know why he felt he had to help her, but Severus did. He moved around her and assessed the best angle to cast a shoving charm. Aiming carefully, he willed his magic to strengthen the spell and push her upright, swaying the creature lightly so she could adjust her balance. It took nearly twenty minutes because he was trying to avoid causing her additional pain.

Once she was sheltered again and able to limp further into the dryness of the pen, Severus turned towards the broken fence and growled at the idea of someone causing it. Being the overseeing management of the carnival had already taught him enough about the enclosures the animals resided it – everything in the carnival was mingled with magic, therefore no matter how strong the elephant might be, there was no way she had done the damage herself.

As he pondered the possibility of using legilimency on an animal, Mac wandered by and halted when he saw the scene. Jumping into the pen to join Severus, he didn't say a word and only stared at the mangled wooden would-be-wall of the pen. The rain lessened enough for them to speak without yelling, though both wizards said nothing. Slowly turning, Mac gave Severus an odd look before he glanced at the elephant and saw her injury. It was sealed and no longer bleeding, though it would still require a bandage to aide her recovery.

'You helped Erica.' Mac realised, thinking Severus wasn't behaving like the dark and grumpy man he'd met recently. 'Why didn't you call for help?'

'I was able to manage on my own.' Severus answered.

'Yes, but you helped her yourself.' Mac repeated. 'I thought you had no intention of staying?'

'Aiding an injured creature hardly alters my decision to leave this place at the first opportune moment.' Severus glared at him. 'On a furthermore relevant note, I assume you are aware this damage was not caused by accident?'

'I'm aware.' Mac turned very serious as he looked back at the fence. 'I will have to call Carter just to repair it. Not even Chaos could have done this; not that I think she would though.' He sighed. 'I can only think of...but no, surely not? The Dwellers.' Mac gripped his wand and looked suspiciously around the area.

'I tried to warn him.'

The men spun around to see Mina standing there on the other side of the fence, looking towards Erica with concern and sympathy. 'Carter won't listen. Sasha saw them, on the outskirts just before dawn. We're not safe...we never were.'

'Precisely who are the Dwellers and what dangers do they pose?' Severus asked, looking from one to the other. He saw Mina glance at his robe and wanted to retrieve it, but she lifted and folded it over her arm before he could summon it.

'White suits you, Severus.' She commented, looking at the shirt he was wearing, which made him feel quite self-conscious. 'And with the Dwellers returning...I would advise against dressing so obsessively in black.'

'They're bad news, Severus. A danger only to us Carnies.' Mac added and ignored the interactions between the pair. 'Worst even than Death Eaters, in their own twisted way. And Mina, it's not confirmed they're back so don't go scaring the wits out of everyone from a rumour. King is handling this.'

'Of course.' Mina said in a falsely submissive tone that only Severus seemed to properly notice, as Mac moved to tend to Erica's wound without reaction to her words. She watched Severus leave the pen, and returned his robes to him. The rain had all but stopped now, as he looked down at the black material with a contemplative expression. Instead of speaking, he glared at the witch.

'You really do look just as good in white.' Mina smiled.

Severus rolled his eyes and still didn't comment, almost wishing he hadn't ventured out for a walk. He was glad Erica was in Mac's care, as opposed to lying helplessly in the chilling rain while injured. Severus caught the creature's golden gaze once more and quickly looked away as he turned to leave, his black robe remaining in his hands and not over his shoulders.

Mina watched him leave and turned to Mac with a nod of her head. Mac returned the gesture as he stood and approached her. They said nothing, only watched Severus walk away with his usual long strides until he was entirely out of sight.

--

By mid-afternoon the rain clouds had drifted away in the sky and many carnies went to dry off their booths and make sure the rain hadn't caused any trouble overall.

Harry had grown bored of the main tent. Because he had no idea where Severus had gone or why Mina had to spend all day working some place else, Harry wanted to constantly spend time with Ryan or Pete, since he knew no one else he felt comfortable around. However, they too became busy when the rain finally stopped and it left Harry with nothing to do.

Feeling adventurous, Harry decided to go have another close look at the Ferris Wheel and simply observe the rain-washed scenery of the carnival. He wandered down the narrow muddy path to the carnival with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. Seeing the puddles and mud with his own eyes, and never again through annoying glasses, Harry felt really happy despite the weather and being left on his own.

He walked to where the python was in her glass enclosure and watched her sleep for a moment. Until a voice jolted him from his peace and caused Harry to turn around rather suddenly.

'You leave Marlee alone.' Said a girl in a rude tone.

She was almost a foot taller than he was, yet couldn't be far from his age. Harry narrowed his eyes in realisation that he had seen her before, when he'd taken a long walk around the carnival. She'd been the one to carelessly avoid the queue of waiting guests and use the Smashers ride, skilfully crashing into the others with morbid enjoyment. Her black hair and blue eyes were more apparent than they had been then, causing him to further notice the contradicting mix of light and dark in her appearance. Her blue eyes were nothing like Mina's though, as Harry thought this girl was glaring at him from orbs of pure ice.

'I was just looking.' Harry said defensively. 'Who are you, anyway?'

'That's none of your business!' The girl snapped. 'I know you, of course. You're the new boy. Yeah, I've seen you around.' She approached him with an expression of dislike. 'What's your sob story? Not get enough hugs at home or something?'

'I don't have to tell you anything.' Harry returned. 'What about you?'

'That's not the same.' She growled. 'I'm not here because the carnival magically rescued me like it did for the others. I was forced here!'

'Oh.' Harry somehow couldn't find the will to be angry with her just because she was being so unfriendly. He supposed he'd have been rather annoyed too, if what she said was true about having no choice in joining the carnival. 'But...can't you just leave? What about your mum and dad?'

'I don't have a mum and dad anymore.' She said, looking away with shame as she clenched her fists at her side. 'I can't even remember them.'

'Me neither.' Harry replied. 'How long have you been here?' He didn't expect her to answer, since he noticed many to forget the specifics of when they had arrived and how long they'd been at the carnival.

'Four years, one month, and nine days.' She recited. 'Feels like ten years. What's your name? I didn't care before so I don't remember.'

'I'm Harry.' He told her, wondering why she cared now. 'What's your name?'

'They call me Chaos.' The girl sighed. 'I've earned it, really. It's not who I am, though...it's just a joke to them. It's not even my Carny name.'

'What's your real name?' Harry wondered, slightly glad to have met someone closer to his age.

She didn't answer, instead the girl looked over at a large puddle of water near the Smashers; left behind by the rain. He followed her gaze when she pointed to it and wondered what was so fascinating that it made her smile.

'It looks like fun.' She commented. 'I say we should jump in it.'

'We'll get all muddy.' Harry frowned and shook his head. 'And cold. No thanks. Besides-'

'Your dad won't approve?' She smirked. 'He'll scold you for being a bad boy and getting your clothes all wet, even if it can easily be fixed by magic? Are you scared, Harry? You don't want to have fun because of what others will think? Maybe if they jumped in a puddle once in a while, they won't think so poorly of it.'

Harry considered her words and looked at the puddle again. It did look like fun, though the consequences of what Severus would do if he returned to his tent like that...Harry wasn't sure it would be worth it.

'You want to.' The girl urged him. 'I can tell. Well, let me help!'

With a shove from both of her hands against his back, Harry felt himself falling towards the puddle. After a loud splash of sickening muddy water, Harry coughed and rolled over to face the laughing girl.

'That's not funny!' He said in frustration, feeling the cold water soak his clothes and tried to wipe some mud from his face. Watching her, he hit the water with his hand and sent it towards her. With a shriek, she opened her mouth with shock towards what he had done, while Harry deviously grinned back at her.

'I thought you said it would be fun?' He said.

'Oh, now you're gonna get it!' The girl jumped beside him, almost destroying their puddle entirely, and so a water fight of limited muddy water began.

A few carnies passed by, but didn't seem too surprised by the occurrence when they spotted the girl involved in it. After ten minutes, the two children stood and laughed as they remained covered from head to toe with mud and water. Without deciding it aloud, they then ran around looking for more puddles to demolish. Harry had to admit, she was right...it was fun and worth the mess.

Before long, however, they had to stop playing when the pair spent more time hugging themselves from the shivering cold than jumping into small pools of water. Teeth chattering, Harry just wanted to have a warm shower and change into dry, clean clothes. He looked at the girl, who was squeezing a section of her thick sweater to rid it of some water, and told her he had to go.

'Yeah.' She shrugged. 'I guess you should. I'll see you around again, right Harry?'

'Sure.' He nodded. 'I look forward to it.'

As she turned to walk away, the girl paused and glanced at him with obvious hesitation. With a loud huff of defeat and reluctance, she stood in front of him and offered her muddy hand towards Harry.

'I'm Ann.' She told him. 'That's my name.'

Harry smiled and shook her hand without a word, watching as she soon hurried away with a blushing face. He felt he'd made a sort-of friend and the carnival once again caused him to feel even more at home. Shivering, Harry rubbed his arms with his hands and headed towards the tents, hoping Severus wasn't there. He was lucky that time, to find the place otherwise empty, and was extra careful not to cause a mess as he gathered some fresh clothes and went for a shower.

His filthy shirt, pants, and socks were the only remaining evidence, which had just vanished away in the clothes basket.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Harry didn't notice his muddy footprints that led from the opening of the tent to the room he'd just left. Noticing the time, he rushed outside again and made his way to the main tent. Sitting across from Pete and Ryan, Harry was eager for dinner to start as he waited for Severus and Mina to arrive. Mac showed up alongside the pair when they did, and soon sat in the seat beside Pete as he looked across at Severus and continued their conversation regarding potion thickness.

Harry wondered if his professor had made an almost-friend today as well, like he had with Ann.

When Mina asked about his day, Harry happily told her and was enthusiastic until he reached the part about his new friend, becoming discouraged by the look of worry on Mina's face. She advised him to be careful of Ann and to never trust her, because she was called “Chaos” for a reason. He wanted to believe her, as Harry doubted Mina would have something like that if it wasn't true. Harry changed the subject anyway, still unsure if he should listen to Mina when he had no reason not to.

Ryan, Pete, and Mac looked displeased about Ann as well, so he thought maybe she could be someone to be more careful of. Still, Harry could not see what the big deal was. He shrugged off their concern and reached for his fork when his dinner appeared.

Ann didn't seem too bad, for a rude and annoying orphaned girl living in a carnival...and Harry was determined to give her a chance.

--

Later that night something somewhat unusual occurred in the tent Severus and Harry shared.

Both man and boy were standing in the bathroom; the child was once again fascinated by his ability to see properly as he stared at himself in the mirror, and the adult was furiously pondering the most appropriate way to chase the brat from the room. Severus stood a distance behind Harry, watching as the eleven-year-old altered his young appearance by messing his hair up, or pulling frowning expressions. Harry was usually very eager to flee to the room when he finished his shower (though he'd showered earlier after the incident with the mud, Severus didn't know this and Harry tried to keep it that way), yet this time he remained there in his pyjamas while Severus finally had to make sure he hadn't slipped and killed himself when the boy hadn't emerged from the room as expected.

'It has been two hours since I instructed to you make use of the shower.' Severus growled. 'Whilst others may gloriously worship your appearance, I can assure you that such praise is highly exaggerated.' He said. 'Do I need to throw you from the room or will you cease this vanity at once?'

'I made a friend today.' Harry told him, looking at Severus through the reflection. 'A girl named Ann.'

'Congratulations.' Severus said in a sarcastically dull tone.

'She pushed me into a puddle of muddy water, but then it was fun.' Harry continued.

'As evidenced by the trail of mud I had to clean earlier.' Severus muttered.

Harry turned around and frowned at the man, his hand still raised to hold a lock of his own hair. 'I think you made a friend today too.' He commented. 'With Stealth, I mean...Mac.'

'I have befriended no one in this atrocious place.' Severus said angrily. 'Get-Out!'

'Not even Mina?' Harry continued, though he inched away in fear of his professor actually tossing him from the bathroom. 'She's really nice.'

'You are trying my patience, brat! If I have to caution you against neglecting to do as you're told a final time, I assure you it will involve bodily harm in the process of removing you from this room.' Severus stated.

'Fine.' Harry grumbled. 'I was just trying to have a conversation! Why do you have to make everything so hard?' He marched out of the room and shoved the door shut, which would have slammed had Severus not waved his wand in time to prevent the abrupt noise.

Severus locked the door and thought Harry was perhaps the only person in the world who considered the bathroom to be a place in which to strike up a civil conversation with a professor he despised.

--

An hour later, Harry was sitting cross-legged on his bed and glaring towards the window. It was too cloudy to see the stars - regardless, he had no intention of going to sleep yet. He turned when he heard a noise, and Severus walked by. Jumping from his bed, Harry peered around his door frame and watched the man head to his own bedroom.

Severus paused and offered the boy a glare, which Harry reacted appropriately and shrunk away from in the process of retreating back to his own room. With an exhale, Severus walked to the boy's room and faced the defiant Gryffindor with an expression of dread.

'You and I shall never be friends, Harry.' Severus stated. 'It will take a great deal more than a conversation to alter such a fact. However, as I am all too aware of your rebellious inability to do as you are told, should you inevitably make another attempt at conversation, I advise you to at least choose an appropriate venue.'

'Don't worry, I won't try again.' Harry frowned. 'I just wanted to pretend for a minute that you were someone else. I thought, if I tried enough then you would be...and you'd want to hear about my new friend or tell me what you've been doing all day. I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again.' He looked away and moved to climb under the sheets of his bed.

'And whom did you have in mind?' Severus asked curiously.

'It doesn’t matter.' Harry turned away, his voice sounded angry and disappointed. He had wished calling Severus his “dad” in front of others was not just a slip he'd once made and had to maintain to avoid looking stupid.

'You're not him. You can never be him. Goodnight, sir.' Harry added and closed his eyes, praying his slumber would take over quickly before his emotions took hold.

'Very well.' Severus nodded and pulled the door almost closed, leaving it ajar exactly how Harry preferred it to be.

He walked to his own bedroom and stepped inside. Once under the covers, he conjured the doe Patronus has he had been every night since...well, he didn't really know how long. It was strange, as a few days ago Severus was certain of the facts regarding the past and now something so important didn't seem as clear as it once was. How long had they been at the carnival? He tried to count the days, except his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of the boy. He wondered if Harry would indeed never try to have a conversation with him again, and more so Severus wished to understand why he even cared.

The boy had taken a chance and failed.

That failure meant Severus was spared from such awkward vocal interactions with the brat. He had also helped an elephant today out of mere whim, and saw something deeply familiar in the eyes of the creature. He hadn't worn his black robe again since Mina had stated he looked good in white - the same woman who wanted to hear his story and knew he wasn't a hero. Severus pondered on his day, and how out-of-character he considered himself to be on the day it had to rain.

As his eyes closed and sleep overcame him faster than it did the boy in the other room, Severus' last thoughts involved his fear of changing. When it came to a place he didn't understand or choose...the only thing that scared Severus more than being rejected, was being accepted and then somehow failing in the eyes of anyone who had given him a chance.

And finally, with his subconscious ebbing away his thoughts and fears...Severus would not remember the following morning, how in the moment he thought he was undergoing some sort of change within himself...Severus pictured not emerald eyes, but sapphire ones.

Chapter End Notes:
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