Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter was red-moused by Jilliane and beta-read by Imablack. They both make things so much easier for me. Thanks, ladies!
A Letter from a Lost Love

Severus was aware that Eileen watched pensively from the kitchen as he spoke to the green, spectral image of Albus Dumbledore.  His mum had been tasked with keeping the boy away as he Fire-called Hogwarts.  Her disapprobation at maintaining the young wizard’s ignorance had surfaced in her blanket denial of Severus’ judicious application of a common silencing charm upon the Headmaster’s request.  She had said, “My house, my rules.  You tell that jumped up pillock that, Severus.  I won’t be a party to that type of blag.  The poor lad’s had enough of that for a lifetime.”    

Now he asked, not entirely upon her insistence, “Why does he know nothing of his ma-- his heritage?  Albus, he’s a wiz—w-i-z-a-r-d for Circe’s sake.  Surely he’s exhibited some sort of accidental mag—m-a-g-i-c before today.”

“Now, my boy, I—we—that is, the Order, felt that it was for the best that the boy grew up in as normal a situation as possible, away from all the hubbub of his fame.”

“I’d eat my wand if I believed for a moment that you consulted with anyone on his placement, Albus,”  Severus answered, knowing that he would pay for speaking to both his employer and saviour with such candour.  He’d be damned if he cared at the moment since it looked as if he would be stuck with Potter on the three hour long ride by train to London and a six odd hour trek by the Hogwarts Express to the school.  All because the little Lord (although, if Snape gave even a moment’s consideration to the tyke’s plight , the boy obviously wasn’t as spoilt as Severus might have assumed,) hadn’t been informed of such basic information about whom he was.  “If you had deigned to consult me, I could have told you that leaving him with Pet—That Woman-- would have resulted in, at best, this situation, and at worst,  the boy’s abuse at her hands.  She’s always been the worst sort of Mug—dammit—M-u-g-g-l-e.

“So I’ve been told, Severus.”  Albus sighed.  “Perhaps I might have been mistaken about the situation in which I placed the boy, but you must know, this turn of events is disastrous when, not if, Voldemort does return.”

Severus hissed in pain at his former master’s name. Dumbledore continued, “I’m sorry, Severus, there is nothing for it.  Since Mrs Dursely saw fit to entrust you with her nephew’s safety…” At that, Severus snorted. The Headmaster quirked a brow as he spoke over the interruption, “Then you are the one who must convey him to Hogwarts without alarming him.”

“Of course, Sir.”  Severus fumed inwardly. “We will be there by this evening.  I just need to decant some pot—medicines here first, and we’ll be on our way.”

“Do what you must, Severus.”  Albus made a move to close the connection before he added, “I don’t need to remind you of your obligations concerning him, do I?”

“No, Sir.”  Severus couldn’t contain the sullen tone of his answer.  He would be stuck with James Potter’s (and his beloved Lily’s) get for the next ten hours or so.

“Very good, Severus.”  Albus’ eyes twinkled as the connection closed.

Severus rose from his kneeling position, his knees once again paining him as he stood.  He bent to rub them as Eileen said, “I’ve gone through his things.  He’ll need some clothes before you leave,” Ticking off on her fingers, she said, “Get him a good coat, and a pair of trousers, no doubt some pants, a jumper, and some new shoes and socks, and a nice night shirt.   You’ll need to go to the cashpoint before you take him to Tesco’s.”  She held a plastic card out to him.  “I don’t want to hear a word, Severus.  The boy… he has… well, less than I could ever provide you.  You can just keep the card.  I’ve been meaning to give it to you anyway.”

“Mum,” Severus began,  “I don’t think the boy will need all that…”

“Not another word, Severus,” she cut him off.  “I remember how bad it was for you when you went away with your used clothes and such.   Just let me do this for him, after what he did for all of us.”  She turned back to the kitchen.  “Let it just be my gift in memory of his mother.  Lily was always so sweet to you when you were both young. Now come in here and meet the boy properly. He’s in a panic about… well, you know how he must feel with all this.”

Severus followed her into the other room, stopping to stare at the boy who was standing by the backdoor.  He looked defensive, and just so small.  Eileen gently pulled him forward until she stood with his back to her thighs.  “Harry, this is my son, Severus Snape.  He’s a professor at a special school in Scotland.” 

She gently pushed him forward as Severus rolled his eyes. With a warning tone she said, “Severus, meet Harry Potter.”

Severus nodded abruptly whilst crossing his arms over his chest, unable to stop the downturn of his lips at the boy’s likeness to his father.  “Mr Potter.”

The child scooted closer to Eileen, and she bent down to whisper conspiratorially in the boy’s ear, “His bark is much worse than his bite, lad.  Now, he’s going to be taking you to a very interesting place today.  It’s the school he teaches at.  It’s a special place that is full of magic and wonders.  Does that sound nice?”

“Mother,” Severus warned.

“Magic’s not real,” Potter said after a moment’s consideration of the floor.  “Aunt Petunia says so.”  Potter looked up at Eileen, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “When can I go home?”

Eileen’s sent a swift, troubled glance to Severus before she said, “Well, that’s the thing, lad...”

“You will be accompanying me, Mr Potter,”  Severus cut her off.  “That is the apogee and perigee of the entire situation.  Mum, I’ll just finish my project in the lab and we’ll be off.”

Severus turned on his heel and headed towards the basement door even as the boy’s quiet snivelling dogged him.   He slammed the door behind him.

 

&*&*&

 

Severus didn’t know what he had expected when he took the boy to Tesco’s, but it certainly wasn’t the mournfully longing looks at the merchandise from the boy, and the uncomfortable feeling that Potter had never received anything new in his life.  He couldn’t get the child to express a desire one way or another on his wardrobe. Instead, the child had accepted whatever Severus picked with a growing look of alarm. Severus chose sensible clothing in dark colours so that they might blend with the more conservative clothing of the wizarding world.  Severus did remember the feeling of not fitting in due to penurious wardrobe choices, and he couldn’t help but attempt to protect Potter from derision for however long he remained at Hogwarts.  Certainly Dumbledore would find an appropriate home for the boy fairly quickly.  Finally, when it came to choosing pants, Severus grunted in absolute frustration.  “Surely you have some preference, Potter.”

The boy stood for a moment in front of a display of garishly coloured briefs emblazoned with vaguely familiar Action Man characters.  He touched a package with his index finger before snatching it back.  His darted, timorous gaze reached Severus’ face and then faltered back to the floor. The boy mumbled, “These, Sir?”

Severus snatched them up in what he thought was an appropriate size, and strode to the front of the shop, not bothering to see if the boy followed.  He knew Potter would.  The boy had been nothing but cringingly obedient. 

The girl who rang their purchases looked between the two of them knowingly.  After a moment of excruciatingly painful consideration she ventured with a small, knowing smile, “Your first weekend with your son?”

Severus glared at her and didn’t deign to answer.  The girl finished the process in silence and gave him the price.  Severus handed her his own credit card.  The boy’s situation was of no import to Eileen, and he refused to use her funds to replenish Potter’s wardrobe. 

As he placed his wallet back in his transfigured robes, his fingers met the hard edge of the envelope which the boy’s aunt had been so insistent that he receive.  He would have time on the train to read it, and so he pushed its presence to the back of his mind.  As he gathered the shopping, bags, he looked around for the loo.  He didn’t see it immediately and so he asked as politely as he could manage in the face of the girl’s still intrusive stare, “Where is your WC?”

She instructed him to follow the main aisle to the back of the building, telling him,  “You can’t miss it.”

Severus picked up the purchases and barked, “Come, Potter.”

The boy scurried behind him, his short legs working overtime to match Severus’ ground-eating stride.  Once in the bathroom, Severus pushed the boy into a stall and closed the door firmly behind him.  After casting a mild compulsion charm on the outer door, he swept the clothes with a cleansing charm before beginning to take off the tags and sundry items from the articles. After he finished with each item, he pushed it under the stall door on a section of floor he had Scourgified thoroughly.   He said, “Change quickly boy, we’ve a train to meet on the half hour.”

The room was silent save for the rustling of cloth and an occasional sniffle.  Once done, the boy knocked on the door. “Sir, I’m finished.   Can I come out now?”

“It’s ‘may I’ and yes, you may.” Severus shrank the remaining clothing, and with a flick of his wand deftly disassembled the quickly placed charm before he stepped back from the door.   

Potter stepped out of the stall, clutching the rags in which he had arrived against his chest. “I… w-what do I do with these, Sir?” 

Severus pointed to the rubbish bin next to the sinks.  Once the boy was finished, Severus urged him outside the tiled room.  They had a train to catch.

A short walk took them to the train station, and after purchasing their tickets for London, Severus found a seat in a sparsely occupied car.  The boy sat opposite him and looked out of the window as the train, which they had almost not met, pulled out of the station.  Severus said in his severest tone, “I expect you to remain seated and silent.  If you need to use the wash room, tell me and I will accompany you there.  There will be no hijinks, shenanigans, tomfoolery, or dunderheaded appeals for entertainment.  Is that clear? “

The boy nodded with a faint, sullen scowl on his face as he twiddled with the string that closed the hood of his coat.  Severus settled back in his seat, prepared to rest as they made their way down to London.

Twenty minutes into the journey, Potter began kicking the seat with the heels of his new slick-soled shoes, his boredom with the speeding scenery evident.   Severus put a quelling hand on the boy’s calf.  “Mr Potter, desist immediately.”

The boy scrunched his face as if preparing to protest, but said nothing.

Soon, Potter lay sprawled somnolent on the seat, his legs splayed, and his neck at an uncomfortable angle.  Severus looked at the sleeping child.  There was much of his accursed father in him: in his hair, the blunt shape of his cheeks, the bow of his mouth.  But Lily could be seen too, if Severus looked past the more offensive features.  His eyes were the shape (and colour) of Lily’s, his long-fingered hands were hers, and the stubborn point of his chin definitely spoke of her.  The one feature that seemed to be his own was his nose, which was blunt at the tip, but would tend towards aquiline as he grew, but even that had an echo of his forebears.  Severus remembered well Lily’s house and the walls that were covered in old photos.  There had been one grainy picture of a Welsh great-great-grandmother, of which Lily had been particularly proud.  The boy’s nose bore unmistakeable resemblance to the lively girl who had peered out of the frame across time.

He had assumed much about the boy over the years.  Before today, if anyone had asked him, Severus would have described the scene that had grown in his mind of Potter being pampered beyond belief. He would have said that Potter was raised to be as arrogant as his father, a bully, and that he revelled in his fame, as unfounded as that fame was.  That these images had been shattered with the boy’s first appearance on his doorstep was a thing that Severus would have to reconcile within himself.   He had lived for six years with the spectre of James Potter replicated in his son with no hint of his mother anywhere to be seen.  What lay before him was an almost alchemical admixture of both parents, which created a whole new person. 

After several moments of such contemplation, Severus’ mind turned to the envelope.  He pulled it from its resting place and ran his thumb over the beloved script in faded Muggle ink.  The letter was addressed to Lily’s parents and had obviously been read and re-read through the years if Severus could tell by the tattered state of the flapping closure.  A faint hint of Lily’s sweet magic still clung to the envelope.

He slid the letter out, his heart beating a painful tattoo in his chest at seeing the girlishly scrawled writing inside, and began reading.

 

 

21 September, 1981 

Dear Mum,

I don’t even know where to begin…

First of all, we’re fine.  Harry, James, and I have been placed in what you might call protective custody.  Don’t be too alarmed, I’m sure it’s nothing, but Professor Dumbledore (you remember him, don’t you?) has decided that we’re in some sort of danger.  Since we’re in a secret kept location, I’m afraid we won’t be able to visit.

The next paragraphs were the general, breezy bits and bobs of everyday life.  News about an infant Harry, thoughts on the planned Yule celebration, thoughts on the Muggle Parliamentary elections…

Severus skimmed the letter until he saw:

Mum, have you ever made a mistake that you couldn’t fix? 

I did with Sev. It’s hard for me to explain, but I let him down when we were in school.  You remember that summer I came home and didn’t want to talk about him?  Well, James wasn’t always such a nice bloke.  To be honest he was a bit of a bully.  He had a group of friends, you’ve met Sirius Black, there was also Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, and they all used to pick on Sev.  One time they did something really horrible to him, and let’s just say that I reacted, but only after I flirted with James.  I wasn’t a good friend to Sev, and I wish that I could talk to him, but, well, Mum, he went off and did something really stupid. I’m afraid it’s because of me. 

Mum, I’ve ruined his life. 

The thing is, though, that he’s been doing things to make up for the stupid thing that he did.  I can’t go into details, but I found out that he’s the reason our side has so much information on those criminals I was telling you about. 

What I want, Mum, is to make it up to him.  I was wrong about him and I want him to know it.  I know he had feelings for me that I couldn’t return, and that’s one of the reasons I cut him off.  It was wrong, but I didn’t know what to do. If I had been older, maybe I would have, but that’s so much water under the bridge, to be honest.  So, if anything happens to James and me, I want Harry to be with Sev.   I know Sev is a brave, honourable person, and I want my son to be raised by someone like him.  I’ve talked it over with James and he’s reluctantly agreed.  I think he knows that Sirius isn’t the best person to raise a child.  He’s always been a little reckless. 

Please let Sev know that I’ve worked out a way to help him protect Harry if anything happens to us.

 Remember that summer we were so mad about red Indians?  Well, we read some books and decided to become blood brothers.  We exchanged blood by nicking our fingers.  I’ve done my research and I’ve found a way to protect Harry with my blood and Sev’s.  Just tell Sev about this and he’ll be able to research it enough to know that what I’ve said is true.   If Harry goes to live with him, then any sacrifice I make will protect them both. 

Please Mum; just let him know before Albus Dumbledore steps in.  Professor Dumbledore is a great wizard and an even better general, but he loses sight of how important people are.  I want my son to grow up with the love that I know is in Sev’s heart.  He’s always been good, even if he made a mistake.

Lots of Love,

 

Lily

 

Severus stared out the window for a long while.  Lily’s parents had been killed on the twenty-third of September that year.  If things had been different, if they’d have had time to tell him…

He looked at the boy again, a strange, choking feeling tightening his chest, until he felt tears on his cheeks.  He turned his face towards the window as the dam broke and Severus once again mourned for his lost love, and for what might have been.

Chapter End Notes:
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