"Potter, we will have words."

Harry looked up at Snape, who was motioning for him to get off the bed and follow him out. Harry limped out because the potions hadn't taken full effect yet on his sprains and he knew it would be evening before they healed his leg.

He followed him down the path and to the empty dining hall. He wasn't asked to sit but he did anyway because his leg hurt. He looked up at Snape expectantly. The man just stared at him though and Harry wondered if that was all he'd brought him there to do.

"Why did you do it?"

"Sir?"

"Why did you jump in?"

"They said August was in there. He wasn't answering."

"Did it not occur to you to fetch help?"

"He'd been in there for a while already..." Harry faltered. He did tell them to fetch help. If Harry hadn't gone in, it would have been too late. "I told them to get help."

"But you went in anyway."

"I threw my wand down first, so I could see where to jump."

Snape looked like he was getting irritated, but also looked like he was trying very hard to restrain himself.

"So you risked your life by taking a death defying plunge into a watery abyss that could have been too shallow to leap into, for a man who might have already been dead."

Harry bit his lip. "Yes." There was nothing more he could really say about it than that. Yes, he had done it, and August was fine, and he was fine. Couldn't Snape just leave him alone about it? Apparently not. He crossed his arms and looked... unsettled. He looked like Adeline but without the tears. What was going on here?

"Did you not think of the danger to yourself?"

"I didn't have time to think. He was unconscious and drowning. Even after I got down there I had to search for him under the water."

Snape stared at him for a moment as if searching for something and then turned to look out the window, where students were mulling about, apparently out of class for the afternoon becuase of the double rescue. He didn't ask Harry anything else and Harry wondered if he could go.

"Can I go now?"

Snape turned slightly and then gave a single nod. "Go."

Harry rose and tried not to limp noticeably as he left and headed back to his room. Hermione was there on his porch waiting for him with Draco and Ernie.

"Harry!" He stumbled when she threw her arms around him.

"Did Snape tear you to pieces for jumping?" Ernie asked.

"It was more of an unceremonious fall," Harry said, pushing his door open. Draco and Ernie followed him in and Hermione stood in the door.

"That was like... a hundred foot drop!" Ernie said, sounding thoroughly impressed. Harry never really talked to him at school, and had always gotten the feeling that Ernie didn't think much of him, so it was strange to have him there now acting as though Harry was one of his everyday friends.

Harry shrugged as he sat down on the edge of his bed. "He said I was wreckless."

"Gryffindors," Draco scoffed.

"Hey," Harry said pointing at Draco, "you jumped in after me, and that was the same distance."

"I got shouted at for almost an hour the next day for that," Draco said.

"You did?"

Draco nodded. "Yeah because I didn't have to and there were rocks at the bottom, and I could have died and blah blah blah."

Hm. So they weren't just reading Harry the riot act, although they hadn't really... they looked more worried about him than angry.

"I'm going to sleep," Harry announced, and Ernie and Draco left. Harry fell sideways on the bed, not bothering with the covers, and Hermione came in and closed the door. Harry looked over at her.

"You're too brave for your own good," she said. He gave her a smile.

"No Harry, I mean it. You could have died."

"But I didn't."

"That's not the point and you know it. There's too many people putting you in danger, why do you have to put yourself in danger?"

"Is it any more dangerous than at Hogwarts?"

"You've always put yourself in danger. You know, Mrs. Weasley always yells at Ron when he follows you into things... tells him to leave problems for adults to deal with. He's usually grounded for most of the summer because of what happens at school."

"And your parents?"

"The same. Only I don't get grounded. They say things like, 'it's not up to children to solve mysteries and catch murderers.'" She crossed her arms but then let them fall to her side again.

"I've never asked you to follow me into danger. Last year.... I told you not to go to the Ministry." His voice cracked and he swallowed. He didn't want to think about Sirius.

She came in front of him then and sat on her knees on the floor so they were on the same level. "But Harry, if we don't go with you, who will?"

He didn't know and so he didn't answer. He rolled over and wondered why it was such a big deal. What did they want from him? To let people die? To let bad things happen when he could try to stop it? There was already too much indifference in the world, already too much bad happening. He fell asleep, though he never heard the door open again. When he woke later, Hermione was still there, sitting in his desk chair and reading one of his school books. She didn't lecture him any more as they walked to dinner, and she didn't try to force him to eat, because he was starving. He looked around for Snape, but he wasn't there.

* * *

"You have a duel to start thinkinig about," Snape announced at their early morning tutoring session the next morning. They weren't holding it on the practice field next to the crevasse this morning, and Harry wondered if it was because of what had happened the day before. Instead they were in Snape's classroom building.

Harry sat in one of the desks and waited to hear what else he had to say.

"Just like the competition, it would be wise to have a strategy. The duel will be held in four rounds. The first round will pit all five of you against each other. The first one down will be out. The remaining four will then be paired off to fight, and the two winners from those duels, will duell each other. The winner will get the certificate."

"What kind of strategy?" Harry had been in a lot of duels and had never had a strategy. It was all action and reaction. Attack and defend.

"I believe you should choose one type of magic and stick to it during the duel. It will be easier to concentrate on what you are doing if you are not jumping back and forth between the different things you have learned." Immediately Harry's mind jumped to Root, but he had a feeling that Snape was talking about Magery.

"You want me to use magery."

"I believe it would be a wise choice considdering who you are going up against. Wandless magic will give you an advantage against those who know what wand movements to look for."

"What about Root?"

"One of your opponents has trained in Root for his entire life. While he is younger than you he has still been training in it for 11 more years than you have."

"Won't the others know Magery?"

"Draco does. However even if they all know it, it will give you an advantage instead of just using your wand. If you can manage some, or all, of your spells wordlessly as well, you will have a more complete advantage."

"That's not going to happen," Harry said. He'd tried too hard for too long just to learn four or five spells wandlessly and wordlessly and they weren't defensive or offensive spells.

"There are still almost two weeks until the duel for you to learn."

"Gan said I'm getting good at Root Defense."

"And you can control your actions and reactions with root completely?"

Harry frowned. Well, no, but there were still two weeks left...

"I believe you should devote your time to magery. If we turn our attention to hexes and shields during all of our tutoring sessions in the next two weeks then you may have a chance. We can practice after dinner as well."

A chance? Just a chance?

"I have meditation after dinner."

"If you want to get the certificate then you should take every opportunity to practice."

Harry didn't want to give up his meditation sessions or tutoring though, not with only two weeks to go. He looked forward to meditating with Gan all day and some days he felt like it was the only thing keeping him sane. If he was going to be studying magery with Snape all day then he couldn't give up the meditation. It was too stressful.

"I don't want to stop meditating."

"You can meditate on your own time."

"I don't want to stop meditating with Gan."

Snape slammed his open hand down on the teacher's desk then, causing Harry to jump and his heart to start pumping.

"Stop- Arguing with me! This is for your own good Potter! Do you think Root will win you a duel with the dark lord? When you are in a graveyard where there is nothing living to draw energy from, what will you do then? What experience will you fall back on?"

"Or when I'm in the ministry of magic you mean?" Harry said through gritted teeth.

Snape stared at him and Harry stared back.

"That is not what I said Potter."

"No but it's what you meant! I know what you told the staff at the start of the summer. I heard you. I know that you told them it was my fault that Sirius died. I know you told them I lead a bunch of students into danger. I know what you think of me. You think I'm stupid, insolent, weak."

"I did not say that."

"Didn't you? Well guess what. I'm not quitting meditation and I'm not practicing Magery with you anymore. You're the one that told me to take meditiation in the first place."

"I told you no such thing Potter."

"You did too! You said it on the first day here to the group when we were touring the classes! You said it would help if you were going to take Occlumency."

Snape paused and looked uncertain for a moment, maybe even cautious but Harry couldn't tell anymore because he was so mad. "You took meditation because I said it would be helpful?"

Harry crossed his arms and looked cross. "Yes." Severus opened his mouth to say something but Harry was already gathering his bag and heading for the door. He was done tutoring with Snape. He was done with never being able to please the man. He'd had enough of trying to gain perspective on the man too when it was quite clear to him that it was the other man lacking perspective.

As Harry walked away from Snape's building however, and headed to the gazebo to see if he could find Gan, he felt confused. Snape had saved him from August earlier in the summer, and taken his time to help him. He had also bought him the clothes and bedding and other things for his cabin, and... Harry paused, feeling over emotional and not being sure why. He had carried him the other day. It almost felt as though the man had been carrying him through the turbulence of the summer, even if he had caused most of it. It was nice to have someone else to carry some of the weight. Well, there was no more of that, he thought. He'd always been alone, always been on his own. If that was how it had to be from here on out, so be it. But the further he walked from Snape's building, the more uncertain he felt about his decision.

* * *

Gan had agreed to tutor him twice a day in Root as well as continuing their once daily meditation sessions, although now Harry was feeling more unsettled than ever and felt like he should be having twice daily meditation and only once daily Root. Gan didn't have time to tutor him in the mornings or other open times Professor Snape had open, so Harry ended up switching some of his classes to othe times of the day so he could practice with Gan.

Several times he caught Snape watching him as he crossed the compound or ate at meal times, and once he caught the man watching him and Gan practice Root on the practice field as it got dark out. It made Harry regretful and he didn't know what to do about the strange feelings plaguing him. It was Snape's own fault that Harry decided to stop tutoring, and what did Snape care anyway? Harry was just a burden on his time, he'd said so himself.

It was shortly after one of Harry and Gan's training sessions when Harry found himself nearly jumping out of his skin. Gan had just left the field and it was getting dark out. Harry had knelt down to put something in his bag and get a drink of water when August's voice came from behind him, making him jump and spin around, eyes wide. He almost fell over himself jumping like he had, and his heart was pounding.

"Mr. Potter."

Harry stared at him, wondering what he wanted, eyes darting to his left to see if there was an easy route of escape.

August held up a hand and Harry stood stock still.

"I only came to apologize to you Harry, and also to say thank you, for rescuing me when I fell into the crevasse." He waited for Harry to say something, but Harry still felt trapped and wondered if he was trying to lure him into a false sense of security.

"I was mislead by my own want to feel hatred, and it was uncalled for. It is a dangerous thing, to go about life in such a manner, being blown by the wind here or there, and to stick to one thing without really knowing what lead you there. It is a mistake I cannot promise I won't make in the future, but I will try to avoid."

When Harry still didn't say anything, August nodded. "Ok, I have come to say, what I had to say." As he left, Harry's muscles remained tensed, and he was unable to let them relax until he was certain August was far enough away that he couldn't turn and hex him if he changed his mind. Harry picked up his bag and walked back to his cabin.

Down the path, Gan and Severus watched the exchange with interest, wondering what was being said and why Harry was standing so tense. Gan spoke first.

"It is a wonder."

"What is?"

"Why do you suppose he fears all adults?"

Severus looked at the aging man, wondering what he was talking about. Potter didn't fear all adults. He was often rebellious and strong willed, ready to stand his ground, even with adults. For heaven's sakes, he had cursed him as a third year without a second thought to his actions.

"You do not see how he tenses around you? Around Alvar and Andrei?"

"He is... high strung sometimes."

"With his injuries, I imagine he would be." Gan walked off and Severus frowned. Riddles. He disliked when people talked in circles and never got around to a point. What injuries was he talking about? The injuries he'd sustained here? Yes, he had been in the infirmary a lot that summer, but more often than not he'd put himself there.

Severus made to go back to his cabin for the night to get in some reading before turning in, but took a turn and went towards the infirmary instead. Gan and Adeline had accused him of hurting Harry earlier in the summer. If Harry had been 'injured' there would be a picture on record. How bad could it be? Earlier he'd supposed the boy to have a scrape. Severus opened the door to the dark infirmary and turned on the light. From the upper cupboard he pulled down the summer's injury log and flipped to P for Potter. As he flipped through the pages of reports and photos he shook his head. He'd taken several of these photos. There were two or three reports of him getting sick, and he cursed at himself mentally yet again for taking the teen's blanket. He flipped another page and stopped. Why was the boy's foot black? He squinted at Gan's untidy scrawl listing the injury and treatment to his foot. It had been broken in several places and the boy had refused to say how it had happened. And Gan somehow thought that Severus had been responsible for it.

'Why do you suppose he fears all adults? Do you not see how he tenses around you?' Gan's words rolled through his mind. Was the boy really afraid of him? He'd never caused him injury. He'd punished him, yes, given him detentions, and been unjust and unfair that summer, but he never hurt him, never threatened to harm him. He stared down at the picture. He hadn't hurt him, but someone had. He flipped another page and there was a photo of Potter's torso, covered in bruises. Adeline's flowing cursive revealed that he'd refused to tell her how he'd gotten the bruises.

Mind spinning Severus closed his eyes and tilted his head. He'd come to school with virtually nothing, not even a proper blanket or sheets or a coat, he'd come to school injured, and Gan and Adeline had both picked up on Harry's fear of adults, especially of him. Severus didn't know what was going on, but he had an inkling and he didn't like it. If what he was seeing was true, then Harry's lack of trust made sense.

Feeling disturbed by the conclusions he'd come to that evening, Severus lay in bed that night, unable to sleep. Potter's relatives weren't taking proper care of him, were mistreating him even, and Potter seemed intent on mistreating himself by putting his own life in danger time and again. No, there was no thought to comfort Severus this night.