Harry slept for most of the journey, curled up on Severus’ lap. He and Albus were quiet, not wanting to disturb him. Goodness knows how easily he could have slept, or not rather, in the conditions he had been found in.

Severus lived in Bath, which was far away enough to—with the help of a three-car pile-up on the A322—involve sitting in a car in the bright, late May sun for nearly four hours. All the windows had been wound down and having a hot little body permanently attached to him was not helping Severus keep cool.

“I think we should make a stop,” Albus said, breaking the silence that had stretched since Harry had fallen asleep around Leatherhead.

Severus nodded, hoping he could stretch his legs. His right one ached twice as much as usual since the rush to the car. “Think I could do with some water, Albus.”

“Certainly.” Albus turned off towards a sign that said Motorway Services. “Perhaps we should wake Harry, give him some as well. He doesn’t need to be dehydrated on top of everything else.”

“Good point. I’ll wake him.”

“Don’t do it yet,” Albus said quickly. “Wait till we stop, no sense depriving him of more sleep than necessary.”

Silence fell again as Albus followed the signs to the Services. After a few minutes, he looked into the mirror worriedly.

“Severus, what’s that behind us?”

Severus turned round and saw a car following them with blue flashing lights. “Looks like the police. I think they want us to stop.”

Albus muttered a curse as he pulled up on the side of the road, and the police car stopped behind them.

“Easy, Albus,” Severus said in amusement. “I’ve only just become Harry’s guardian and I’m already rebuking you for teaching him bad language.”

“He’s not even awake,” Albus said, peering out of the window as two police officers approached.

“Can I see your licence, please sir?” The older of the pair said, doing a double-take when he saw Albus at the wheel.

“Certainly, officer,” Albus said politely, while Severus sat tight and hoped his employer knew what he was doing. Albus certainly showed the police something, though whether it was a genuine licence or not Severus didn’t know. He had decided early on into the journey that he didn’t want to know if Albus was properly qualified to drive the car or not.

“Is this your car, Mr Dumbledore?”

“No, I’m borrowing it,” Albus said cheerfully. Severus inwardly groaned; he could see where this was going.

“I see. I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the car, sir.” The cop glanced in the back. “You too,” he directed at Severus.

“The last time I checked,” Severus said as he attempted to get out of the car without waking his charge, “it was not illegal to drive someone else’s car.”

“It is if the vehicle in question has been reported stolen, sir,” said the office gravely, shooting Severus a dark look. “I’m going to need your name too.”

“Severus Snape,” Severus growled, glancing at Albus. He couldn’t believe the Dursleys had had the nerve to call the police, knowing it was wizards who had stolen the car. Albus was still smiling, so Severus hoped he had a plan.

“And this little one?”

Unconsciously, Severus’ arms tightened around Harry. “Why? He’s hardly old enough to arrest for car theft, is he?”

“Severus,” Albus said in a warning tone.

“The car was reported stolen at the same time as the kidnapping of one Harry Potter.”

Those Dursleys were so stupid. Severus looked to Albus for guidance. Albus sighed.

“Gentlemen, I understand your concern, but I am afraid that you are wasting your time here. Harry’s guardianship is transferring to another family, that is all, and the car is only borrowed to aid the transfer and will be returned afterwards. This has all been a huge misunderstanding. I’m sure if you—or anyone—were to talk to the Dursleys again, you would find that they will corroborate this.”

Severus tried very hard not to raise his eyebrow at Albus. Surely they weren’t going to fall for it. But to his surprise, the officers’ eyes glazed over, and they nodded.

“Of course … sorry to bother you, sir.” The one who had been writing in the notebook ripped out the last page and tore it into pieces.

“Oh, that’s quite all right,” Albus said with the air of one who had merely been interrupted at dinner, as opposed to accused of kidnapping and theft. “You’re just doing your jobs; I understand. And I must say I have rarely come across such dedicated, professional members of law enforcement as you.”

Don’t push it Albus, Severus thought. But the police officers looked very pleased.

“You’re free to go,” the elder one said, and beckoned the younger back to their car. “So sorry, again, gentleman. Have a good day.”

Severus let out a long breath as they drove off. “How did you do that? I didn’t even see your wand!”

“Well of course not,” Albus said with a chuckle. “It’s called wandless magic for a reason. No, I used a mixture of a Memory Charm and Legilimency.”

“Why?” Severus had never considered mixing the two before.

“Well, for a start, it draws less attention than pointing a stick at someone,” Albus said with a chuckle. “Secondly, Memory Charms can be messy. You never know what you might be erasing along with what you want to remove—important appointments, precious memories. Using Legilimency as well means I can pinpoint exactly what I want to remove and nothing else; it’s also more exact to alter memories that way, or create new ones. Though I have never tried on a wizard before. Muggles’ minds are more … impressionable, as you know.” Albus turned back to the car, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief, and Severus realised he suddenly looked exhausted.

“It took a lot out of you,” he stated. Albus only nodded.

“What was with the flattery?”

“Ah, don’t underestimate the power of flattery,” Albus said with a weak smile. “In this case, it helped their minds accept the information I was inputting.”

“But if the police go back to the Dursleys—”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll call Minerva when we’re at the Services, get her to do something about it.”

Knowing Minerva’s temper, Severus wondered what she would ‘do about it’, were she to come face-to-face with Vernon and Petunia Dursley. However, he didn’t bother to point this out. Should she choose to Transfigure them into mice and eat them, they had only themselves to blame. He certainly wasn’t going to shed any tears over them.

Harry stirred, his hands gripping Severus tighter. “I think it’s time we moved on,” Severus said pointedly.

“You’re absolutely right.”

They both climbed back into the car, and came to a stop in the car park only a few minutes later. By now Harry was awake and looking curiously around him, as if he couldn’t quite remember how he had ended up where he was, and would still not let go of Severus—not that the man was going to make him.

“Right.” Albus switched off the engine and turned around in his seat. Harry didn’t shrink back this time. “Are you hungry, Severus?”

“No, but Harry might be.”

“How about I get some food, and water for all of us, and make the call to Minerva—then I can watch Harry while you do anything you need to.”

Severus looked down at Harry, to find he was watching Albus carefully. Perhaps it was the nap in Severus’ arms that had helped, as Harry didn’t look half as nervous of Albus as he had done before. “That might work. All right, then.”

“Good. Back in a bit.” Albus smiled warmly at Harry, who just stared back, and left the car.

The older wizard had already disappeared among the throng of people swarming in and out of the building when a very distinct scent caught Severus’ nose, and he looked down at Harry quickly. Harry met his eyes, and the green ones filled with tears.

“Shh, Harry, it’s all right,” Severus said soothingly. Harry whimpered, and pressed a hand over his mouth. “It’s not your fault, I doubt you were ever properly toilet-trained, were you?” Thank goodness for nappies, he thought, as a second smell added to the first. Severus tried very hard not to wrinkle his nose.

The first tear leaked and Severus gently wiped it away. “Come on, Harry, let’s get you cleaned up.” So much for keeping Harry away from crowds for the time being, but having never changed a nappy in his life, Severus thought he’d much rather try it for the first time amongst proper facilities rather than on the back seat of a car.

He scribbled a note to Albus in case the man came back while they were gone, found the changing bag and shouldered it before getting out of the car with Harry.

At once, Harry buried his face in Severus’ shoulder, making indistinct noises of protest. “I’m sorry,” Severus murmured, “but we can’t leave that mucky thing on you, Harry. It’s all right, I’m here. Shhh.” He closed the car door and walked towards the entrance, trying to keep Harry’s face at least in the shade, which was difficult. Harry whimpered more when they stepped inside the busy building.

Muggles dressed for business, Muggles dressed for holiday, all bustled round them; it could have been worse, Severus thought, but not much. The slot machines made as much of a racket as the people, and the coffee machine in the café wasn’t helping either. Harry was definitely crying properly now, although he was very quiet about it. Severus had the uneasy feeling that he had had to be quiet for the Dursleys.

He shook the thought out of his head, focusing on the here and now, and spotted signs to the toilets. As he reached them, his heart sank.

Men’s.

Disabled.

Ladies and Baby Changing.

“Ridiculous,” he muttered. He was far from the only man in the world to be in charge of a child in nappies without a female companion.

What the hell did he do now?

The only thing he could think of at that moment which was practical—i.e., not Polyjuicing into a woman or attempting a Disillusionment spell—was speaking to the … whoever managed this place. Severus’ first instinct, as he looked around for a clue as to where to go, was to march over and complain in his best threatening manner—but Albus’ words from earlier rang in his head. Maybe he should try the elder wizard’s approach.