Fairytale Of Home by Livia Ethelind

The mist swirled as it was disturbed by his rapid footsteps. The sound of his heavy soles against the cobblestone echoed through the seemingly peaceful night. Severus Snape's mind however, was anything but peaceful. His breathing was ragged as he was not used that much physical exertion. If only he was not too late. There at the end of the street the house came into view. An old cottage surrounded by a garden filled with the withering blooms of autumn. There was light still in some windows. The door was ajar. His pulse quickened as he fought the urge to sprint again. The moment he entered the door he was met by a pair of cold, lifeless, blue eyes which stared at him from the floor. There was no fear in Potter's dying face. As Severus quickly passed by the body he didn't fail to notice that there was no wand in the dead man's hand. So you died as you lived. A foolish Gryffindor. But as much as he had detested the man he couldn't help but think to himself that James's attempts to save his family had been every bit as successful as his own attempts to save Lily.

That was when he heard the faint weeping of a child. He followed it upstairs and entered a child's bedroom. Ignoring the crying toddler in the crib he fell to his knees as the reality of it all hit him in the stomach – punching all the air out of him. There was no sign of the Dark Lord. There, in the corner of the room surrounded by broken furniture and toys – as if blasted into the wall, she lay. Blood was running down her face. Her arms and legs were twisted in angles that would make most medics sick to their stomach. Pieces of wood and plastic protruded from some of the many damp, dark red spots covering her clothing. He crawled towards her as if in a daze. Lily! Lily, don't do this to me! This wasn't supposed to happen! His mind babbled as his senses tried to make sense of it all. But there was no making sense of it. There was no sense in death, blood and sorrow. He understood that. There was no sense without her. As the neglected child continued to sob and cry out for his mother, Severus reached out and gently touched her cheek – swiping away blood as one would tears. ”Lily,” he whispered but he couldn't find the words to express what he felt. He carefully lifted her torso slightly, almost cradling her as he wrapped his arms around her and wept into her bright red hair. She was so cold. How could she be so cold? The tears blurred his vision as he cried out in pain. A faint hiss was heard as he rocked her slightly back and forth. ”Lily, I can't. Not without you. Please.” As he cried out of despair the ragged sound of air being inhaled came again. His eyes widened in surprise and the tears continued to fall in a mixture of fear and relief. She still lived! He had no time to consider how or why. He could not wait for others to arrive and so he took a chance. Knowing full well the wards were still in place he carefully lifted her from the floor, at once both joyous and worried to hear her faint hiss as her limps were moved. He carried her as quickly as he dared outside, out of the wards and disapparated, leaving the small boy behind.

Severus was ready to punch through the wall. I swear if the brat doesn't shut up... He had alternated between pacing up and down the hospital corridor and shaking as he sat in the waiting room. On a chair not far enough away for Severus' liking was the baby, all wrapped up in the baby carrier. The exhausted nurse sitting with the boy tried in vain to distract the boy with a piece string much as if he was a kitten, but it was no use. The boy was crying again. He had arrived not many hours after Severus and Lily. Apparently Dumbledore had sent the half-giant for him and when they learned where Lily was they had decided to bring the baby. Severus' dark clad dusty form was in sharp contrast to the polished white brightness of St. Mungo's. The situation was unfamiliar as well. Here he was, waiting for a verdict. Would she live or die? And there was nothing he could do anymore. He was powerless. And that blasted boy is getting on my last nerve! He sneered at the child. Potter's spawn was beginning to tire but seemed unable to settle down in the unfamiliar surroundings without either of his parents. The sound of heels clicking caused Severus to leap from his chair, his heart racing. If this was another bloody nurse... He has been waiting for hours for any news but nothing so far.

”Mr Snape?” questioned a woman's voice. ”I'm Healer Chen, may I speak with you?”

”Absolutely,” growled Severus as he rubbed his temples. What did she think he had been waiting for all this time? Did she think he just enjoyed sitting in waiting rooms next to howling children?

”First I would like to ask you some questions. This should have been done earlier but we needed all hands on deck so to speak. What is the nature of your relation to the patient?”

”I'm... A friend of the family,” said Severus. That wasn't in anyway true but the truth would likely get him kicked out.

”I see,” said Healer Chen. ”It is lucky you brought her in when you did. In fact it is a miracle she was still alive when you found her.”

”Does she live?” snapped Severus impatiently.

”Mr Snape,” began Healer Chen slowly. ”She lives... Barely.”

”What's that supposed to mean?”

”We've had to put her in a coma to prevent her from going into shock. I will not lie to you, sir, it's looking grim. The broken bones can be fixed to some extent though the damage is severe. However...”

”What?” whispered Severus as he felt the blood draining from his face.

”She will never be the same. The were fractures to the spine, severe neurological damage as well as damage to the brain. Our Healers are doing everything they can for her. It will be a slow process. She will improve but we cannot say how much. I know this must be hard to hear.”

”When will she wake up?” He didn't like her sleeping. Chen had said nothing but he knew that patients didn't always wake up – despite the magic.

”When we have her stabilized. She will be kept in a coma for at least a week depending on her improvement,” replied the healer. ”I must return. I will have you written up in the files so you may come and see her once visiting is permitted. You must get some sleep as well. Do you know who will come for the boy? We have checked him and he seems to be unharmed.”

”I know who to contact,” mumbled Severus. The healer nodded and walked back down the corridor.

Severus sank into his chair. The nurse had been defeated by her own fatigue and was now sleeping in her seat next the now silent baby. The boy stared at him with sorrowful green eyes. Did he know? How could he know? He only knew his parents weren't there.

It's all your fault. Severus glared at the child before hiding his face in his hands.

It was mid November, but despite autumn still being very much in effect the stores were already beginning to stock ornaments and holiday inspired objects. The wizarding world was celebrating the defeat of Lord Voldemort. All of this happened without Severus Snape noticing. His life for several weeks had been as grey and uniform as the mist he had braved to defy on that dark night. It seemed ages ago yet so recent. The memories were as fresh as ever yet the hours became years as he dragged himself through the days in continued existence. There was only one thing he lived for these days: A redheaded woman lying motionless in a bed at St. Mungo's. He hadn't even gone to aid in Black's capture though he was sorely tempted because he knew he couldn't face the man without blowing him to bits. The boy was currently being cared for by Lily's sister which was Dumbledore's arrangement. Severus despised the woman but he had no objection to the boy being both out of sight and out of mind. It was early morning when he entered her room. She was paler than ever and very thin. Her breathing was steady if faint and it was the main reason Severus chose to spend every waking hour that he wasn't called for by Albus Dumbledore here with her. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. Two bedside tables held several vases with flowers. When first the news had spread, Lily's room had been a jungle of flowers and the nurses had to throw fresh flowers in the bin daily to make room for more. Now, the amount of flowers dwindled steadily as the world's focus turned to the now buried hero James Potter and the mystery of their son, the boy-who-lived. To most Lily was a victim, yes, but an innocent bystander in what people imagined to have been the greatest showdown on earth. Tales did tend to grow tall.

These days most of the flowers came from Severus who brought her fresh ones as often as he could afford it, which was nearly every day as he spend nearly nothing on food. Today, he carried with him a bouquet of white carnations. He smiled as he saw her sleeping face and moved to place the flowers on the table. The nurses would soon see to them. He reached out and touched her hand. It was cold and he tried to warm it in his own. Severus didn't think about what Lily would say if she knew he was there, if she knew what had happened to her husband or if she knew what Severus had asked of the Dark Lord. She was calm and serene. She was beautiful. Despite her state, Severus couldn't see anything but the woman he loved, the beauty he had befriended in his childhood. Sometimes he spoke to her. When the doors were closed and they were alone. He told her what day it was and about who her flowers were from. Sometimes he read to her.

Albus Dumbledore had theories about what had happened but Severus was only angered by them. James' sacrifice had possibly caused ancient magic to protect the boy. Magic that even Dumbledore didn't truly understand. Just what he needed... James as a hero. When the Dark Lord attempted to kill the child he himself was killed. But Lily was the one who truly suffered. She had been blasted near to bits by the magic that killed Lord Voldemort. Severus didn't know whether to blame the boy, James or the Dark Lord for this but he hated them all.

”I brought you carnations,” he mumbled to the sleeping woman.

”S... Uhh...”

His heart skipped at beat and he froze momentarily before turning to face the young woman. Her eyes were closed and she lay perfectly still. The disappointment was enough to bring tears to his eyes. But then... He could have sworn her finger moved. In the next moment, three healers burst through the door, clearly alerted by the monitoring spells.

”Stand aside, young man!” cried an older man as he withdrew his wand and began scanning Lily. Severus was forced to retreat to the corner where he stood silently, watching her face, hoping. Suddenly a glimpse of green as her eyes slid slightly open before closing again. He felt like crying and laughing at the same time but he smiled through the tears as her eyes once again opened and stared at him. I'm so sorry, Lily. I will never leave you again!

And those words were true. Severus continued visiting the hospital every day and he sat by the weakened woman and held her hand. The staff had long since realized that he was not simply a 'friend of the family' but no one had the heart to deny him entrance. Especially since none of her remaining blood relations had come. He was the first to hear the bad news. Lily would most likely never walk again. That weighed nothing with him. But what was disturbing was when the healers found she had suffered partial memory loss due to the damage to her brain. She remembered nothing about the night of the attack, she couldn't remember her sister getting married, many things were hazy for her. Severus didn't know if she remembered their argument. If she did she didn't mention it. Even when they informed her that James was dead she hardly cried. Severus suspected she already knew. She rarely spoke. She was a far cry from the fierce girl he had known. She was always exhausted but she smiled whenever Severus came to visit her and he had begun to live for that. It was oddly enough more than a week before she spoke of the boy. Severus had been reading to her, poetry, when she had interrupted him.

”Harry...”

The name hung is the room as silence fell.

”Harry... I had... Where is he?”

”It's okay, Lily,” Severus assured her. ”He is safe. He is being well cared for.”

Lily had turned her head and said nothing more. That suited Severus well. He didn't like to think of the boy. None the less he had too. As time went by and Christmas arrived, Lily began to ask for him more often. By now she was in a wheelchair and able to move about a bit. Severus would occasionally walk with her in the garden. One such day she was wrapped in blankets as he pushed her around the yard when she spoke:

”Severus, I'm not sure... But... I think I remember something. You were there? You came for me, didn't you?”

”I did,” he replied.

”Why?”

He hesitated. ”Because I love you.”

”I know,” she said as if he had told her the sky was blue.

”Does it upset you?” he asked.

”No,” she said silently as she reached for his hand. ”Thank you. For all you've done. You are my hero.”

Severus swallowed the festering guilt and took her hand in his as he kneeled by her side.

”I am nothing without you.”