Start of time by Hopeless Wanderer

Chapter six.

/The man who had hugged and carried him earlier, gently lowered him on a couch, not even caring that Harry was dripping wet. Harry saw the man take out his wand and flinched violently, crying.

"Alright, no wand. No wand." the man disappeared for a moment before hurrying back with a white fluffy towel. Harry stayed in his curled up state and chastised himself harshly. How naive was he? Just letting that man carry him here! Mommy and Daddy were going to kill him! He disobeyed them! He was a bad boy and he was going to get punished. He whimpered, sniffling loudly.

"Child can you hear me? Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?" the man was warm, comfortably so, his hands on his face felt good and the towel in his hair almost made him want to cry because it felt so nice. He would have flinched away, but instead just closed his eyes and let the man do whatever he wanted. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, specially not Mommy and Daddy, but the touch was really nice.

"Can you talk? What is your name?" Harry peaked at the man, his eyes squinting, just visible above his knees, he promptly closed them before the man saw him and sighed shyly. No one aside from Sirius had talked to him like that, in that kind tone. It was nice.

"My name is Severus. you need to talk so I can help you." the man gently dried his hair and moved to his face. Out of instinct Harry opened his eyes and instantly felt the man draw away, staggering back in shock with his mouth agape.

"Potter?!" Harry stared back, his lower lip trembling in fear before he was reduced to tears again. The man knew him. He knew Harry, and he was going to send him back. Then Mommy and Daddy would punish him again. Oh god. He sniffed pathetically.

"Harry Potter? What were you doing on the street? Were you lost? Potter answer me, did you lose your Mommy and Daddy?" Harry frowned at the odd tone, that he couldn't fully register and then shook his head. He was pretty sure that he was lost, but Mommy and Daddy knew where they left him. They knew where he was. At least Harry thought so. His hands fisted on his wet pants, shaking again. He just itched to cover his ears and close his eyes again, wishing that he was in the street and counting. But then the lighting struck. And Harry took back his wish almost immediately.

"Wait, if you're not lost then..." the man took a critical look at his clothes, and reached for his wand again. Harry jumped back, his knees clasped tightly with his arms around them. The wand was bad, Harry knew that, Daddy often used the wand to sting Harry and Mommy threatened to scratch Harry again if he touched hers, cause he was a squib. No wand. He shook his head frantically.

"I promise I won't hurt you okay? Harold, where was your Mommy? Do you know where she is?"

She is probably home, playing with Aiden, Harry wanted to answer, but his voice had left him again and he couldn't talk. He shook his head. This man was a stranger, and strangers were bad.

He shook his head, and clamped his lips shut.

"I can fire call them then. Just sit here and I call Lily..."

The man trailed off as he saw the crestfallen look on his face, shivering in nothing but his over sized red shirt and short pants.

"What's wrong? Harry, I need you to talk, are you hurt?" this man had been calling him Harry since he had come here, and Harry swore, that was more than Mommy or Daddy had ever called him that when they were not in public, or anytime really. Should he trust Seve'us? He looked trust worthy enough and he smelled nice. On a sudden impulse he brought his face to the man's cloak and sniffed in the smell, snuggling to the man's chest. His own chest was hurting and something painful was stuck in his throat, Seve'us smelled like ginger. Harry liked it.

"What the...?" the man didn't try to pry him away, but was stiff straight away, his arms were rigid at his sides and Harry couldn't see his face, but knew the man was probably disgusted. He was disgusted with himself too, just because a good man hugged him earlier doesn't mean that Harry should just latch himself to him like a freak!

Harry hastily scrambled back, nervously watching the incredulous expression on the man's face morph into curiosity as he reached once again... For Harry's clothes. The small child wasn't strong enough to fight the man off, as the man firmly exposed his throbbing shoulder, Harry whimpered, trying to pull away, but obviously Seve'us was stronger and could see the infected welt in contrast with his deathly pale skin.

"Who did this to you?" the voice was cold with rage, and Harry felt scared, he didn't trust himself with the man, but couldn't wait until the man hugged him again. He had never been hugged like that before, it made him feel safe, but scared at the same time because he didn't know this stranger.

"Who did this to you?" the man repeated his question, and his face was drawn in an angry frown, Harry wiggled and squirmed under his touch and stammered.
"I...I...I can't... T.. Tell you." it was the second sentence he had had uttered in almost a week, so naturally his voice was hoarse and scratchy, even his throat hurt.
"Why not?" The man seemed frustrated with himself, with an annoyed expression he fetched out his wand and waved it at the door for some reason. Harry flinched, tears rimming in his eyes. He couldn't tell, no, he just couldn't. That was the rule. Harry never told Sirius or Remy or anyone of how Mommy and Daddy treated him cause he was a freak, or he would get punished. Harry whimpered, he did not want to get punished again, not after Daddy hit him last Monday.

"No!" he yelled, trashing in Seve'us's hold, even the prospect of telling this man what Mommy had done to him was terrifying, he knew his Mommy and Daddy, and he would surely tell them, sooner or later what a whining brat Harry really was.

"Tell me Harry, was it a stranger or did you know them?" of course he knew them, he wished he didn't though, but he did know them, they were Mommy and Daddy. Shaking from head to toe the small child nearly fell off the couch as a small hovering jar landed on the man's palm. He took the chance and scooted away, to the far corner of the couch, safely locking his arms around his knees and burying his face so he wouldn't have to look at the man.

"Yes." he shivered, his wet outfit clung to him, and goosebumps ran down his arms and legs.

"Who? Harry who did this?" Harry sniffles, shaking his head. He couldn't tell, Mommy and Daddy would kill him if he broke that rule, he almost broke it when Sirius saw a,big bruise on his face just last month and he couldn't walk properly for weeks. No, he would not tell anything.

"Alright then, at least take off your shirt child, so I can put this balm on the boo-boos, alright?" Seve'us tugged at his wet dripping shirt, Harry didn't resist this time, he was tired and his head was heavy and hurting.

The man had ridden of the shirt in seconds, leaving Harry to seek the comfort of the damp fluffy towel, Seve'us seemed too focused on his injuries to care about Harry shaking. But then, he applied the balm softly to his tiny shoulder and worked his way down, Harry did cry then. Not only it hurt, but it was warm, comfortably warm and soft.

Harry sniffed and leaned into the man's chest again, engulfed by the heavy black robes draped around him. He felt so safe that he didn't even care that the man saw his boo-boos anymore.

"Was it your Daddy?" the man asked unexpectedly, his fingers softly tracing the fresh welt on his back.

Harry didn't answer, but it seemed like his sobs were proof enough, because the man growled angrily, cursing under his breath.

"Only your Daddy Harry?" Harry wiggled in the man's chest, horrified with himself. He knew. The man knew that Daddy didn't love Harry and was going to tell mommy.

"shh. Calm down, it's alright, I won't let anyone hurt you." the kind man had hugged him to his chest, holding him as the storm raged on and Harry eventually drifted to sleep /

He was cold everywhere, every bit of his skin stung with the sharp cold whipping wind that rushed through the tree bark. He was way past moving his limbs, his legs are what the hurt the most though, needles seared through his skin and drew blood, the mud wasn't enough to fend off the wind from assaulting his legs and they had froze, because he couldn't feel them anymore, much less move them. He drifted in and out of consciousness, occasionally replaying a memory in his dreams before he was jolted awake as another lightning struck.

They said that life would flash before his eyes before he died, but these weren't just flashes, every time he had succumbed to the blissful darkness of his conscious, another memory played out, and he sincerely felt as if he was there, reviewing each one in great detail.

This last one was a bit painful, but he didn't have the time to ponder on it, or any other conscious thoughts, the only thing he could register was the cold, his blue tinged lips were slightly parted gasping out gusts of frozen air. He was so cold that he couldn't even remember his own name anymore, or where had he came from, or what was he thinking about just a second ago. What he really knew, was that he was scared of that loud sound shaking the ground every few seconds, he was terrified of that sound even though he couldn't fully register it.

He had buried his face in his legs for warmth, his shaking hands on his head to provide support and keep him as small as possible. But honestly, he didn't think that he could hold on much longer, he was slowing down, and he felt weird, his hands felt freezing cold, whereas his legs were now sizzling warm, enough for him to want to get rid of that hideous pyjama pants that awfully smelled of urine.

He never had thought that dying would be so slow and agonizing, he would've been glad to help nature by bashing a rock to his head to finish the job, but his fingers were way too stiff to hold a rock heavy enough to do any real damage. Why was he here anyways? Was he hiding from something or someone in this tree bark? Maybe that loud sound was looking for him? he whimpered.

Utter despair and need filled his heaving chest, he needed something, no... someone... The man in his dreams, he needed that man, warm and comfy and safe. His fingers twitched with the anticipation and longing, imagining his fingers closing around that cloak, the man leaning his chin on his head, smoothing his hair, protecting him, he wanted that. He wanted, no, needed the warmth. His mouth agonizingly stretched in a silent scream, his throat too tight and his voice too hoarse to shout out. Another sound shook the sky, and Harry shook along with it.

He didn't know how much time had passed, he seemed to be blacking out more often, he needed to cough, there was this annoying itch in his chest, but his throat was not up to cooperating, it seemed.

He also started hearing another noise, people shouting, shooting colorful lines in the air, which he could only see through the large hole adorning the bark. The sound was far, he knew they wouldn't see him, the shouting was desperate, even from that far he could hear them calling his name.

Harry.

His name was Harry. His mouth opened again, desperate to call them back, tell them that he was here. But he couldn't, his mouth wouldn't open, and he was hot all over, red lines shot in the air, lightening up the sky and another lighting reputed along with it.

Harry cried weakly, tears felt like freezing needles dragging down on his cheek, his insides were frozen, he couldn't breath properly, the itch in his chest had turned into something bigger and much more painful.

The sounds eventually faded away, the people looking for him were gone and the sky had turned into its normal color and Harry had never felt so much in pain as he was now. His heart burned in his chest, quite physically, so much that he gasped out in his pain, gulping down the bile of puke floating in his mouth.
The tip of his fingers were now an ugly shade of black, Harry realized that he couldn't feel them anymore.

Only if that man was here, he thought wistfully. He needed warmth, he needed the man, and he sure as hell didn't want to die like this. But what was his name? Frantically breathing, his blackened fingers closed around his throat, slowly crying as he wondered what was his name was again. He couldn't remember, all he could think about was the cold, and the rain as it only worsened, the water lapped up to his frozen toes and he shivered. Closing his eyes, he painstakingly closed his arms around his knees and laid down his head. Dreaming of the warmth, of the man, he loved him, the boy knew that. He loved him, and he needed him now.
a defeaning sound blasted right through into his skull and Harry was thrown to the back of the hole brtually.

Help.

His thoughts slowly succumbed into darkness once again, his last thought was one word.

Dad.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

/"Go Janet, I'll handle this." In his mind he vaguely wondered what might have triggered /this/ reaction. He quickly ran the possible triggers in his mind,stroking his child's hair.

"Severus..."

"Just go!" he snapped and grabbed Harry's wrist, shaking him gently. Just as he was about to call Janet back to call for help, Harry jolted awake with a loud scream. /

The screaming didn't stop, Harry had curled into himself in his half sitting half lying position, hands instantly clasped to his ears as his nails scratched the flesh, he trembled from head to toe, drawing in panicked short breaths. Severus knew that he couldn't touch him, nor could he talk to him. But this had never happened before, he was panicking, maybe he should get a healer? Was there something wrong with Harry? or was the boy sick? Severus cursed and looked over the door.
He couldn't use magic on Harry, the child's accidental magic would flare, but he knew that he had to clean up Harry sooner than later, merlin knew how long the boy had been lying like that before he screamed. It could've been hours, his heart clenched in guilt.

"One." the boy chocked out between his screams, and Severus ached to just hug the child to his chest, instead he got up slowly as to not frighten Harry farther and dimmed the room's light with his wand.

"Two." this would take a while, Severus knew that. He knew that he couldn't interrupt Harry, but the counting didn't know time. It could take hours for Harry to finish counting. Severus didn't have that much. He had to help his son now. Out of desperation, the anxious father slipped out of the room and looked for his fiance.

"Is he alright?" she emerged from the kitchen, her features as rumpled as Severus's was. Severus opened his mouth, but no sound came out. This had never happened before. It was all he could think about.

"I think we need to call a healer Janet." he said slowly, Harry's heart breaking sobs filling the living room.

She gasped, her head whipping towards the room.

Severus didn't wait for her respond and rushed back into Harry's room, instantly noticing that Harry had not moved past two. This was bad. He thought.
Even when he was depressed, Harry had never reacted like this, not when they talked about the abuse, not even when they talked about the depression, it was one of the main reasons why Severus never forced him to see a therapist. Things were hectic at times, but not like /this/.

"Should I call Poppy?" she came back to the room, a wet rag in her hand, Severus got up from his seat and took the rag. She looked at Harry with widened eyes, not believing the sight meeting her eyes.

"Severus is he..?" she crouched down, looking over her finance who was dumbstruck himself.

"This has never happened before. Never, Janet. I..." the lump in his throat was increasingly getting bigger.

"Three." Snape rushed past her and sat on the bed again, watching the small trail of blood trickle down Harry's earlobe
.
"He's hurting himself, do something Severus."

"I can't, he'd just start over again." he was in pain as he said this, his mind snapped back to all of the years he helped Harry after each nightmare. Harry never counted after having a nightmare, he craved Severus's touch after waking up drenched in sweat, and Severus never denied him that, but he hadn't woke up from the nightmare now, he was only half awake /and/ stuck in a panic attack. He had to get him a calming draught somehow, he didn't care how. He just had to.
Severus took a deep breath and opened his mouth. "Harry?" he calmly called, though his eyes were wide in anxiety.

"Four." his son choked out.

"Go get the calming draught on the dresser. Hurry." he finally ordered, and moved to face the child, slowly maneuvering the wet rag to wipe the blood without touching Harry unnecessarily.

Janet made a sound of protest. "But you just said not to..."

"Do it." she bolted out of the room and Harry whimpered again, his eyes scrunched close.

Janet came back with the vial and rushed out to the floo again, presumably to call Poppy, the potion master prayed that she arrived already, Harry was getting worse, if that was even possible. He looked pale, drenched in sweat, and much to Severus's bewilderment and pain, body fluids. He could use magic, but Harry would know, and he would just panic farther and frankly, Snape couldn't afford that, he couldn't sit through the same thing twice.
Hesitantly, he considered whether he could spell the potion directly into Harry's stomach, but almost backed out ; if Harry could sense the cleaning charm, then he sure as hell would feel this one too.

But on the other hand, the calming draught would prevent him from moving or hurting himself, at least long enough for Severus to find out what the heck he should do.

Taking a deep breath, Severus tackled down his guilt and fished out his wand, Harry trashed and screamed in his hold, starting from number one, over again. Snape firmly held him and spelled the whole dose before Harry could get a hold of him with his nails. His child instantly went rigid, his eyes as wide as it got, and his fingers twitching, but the breathing was finally rhythmic.

Almost unwillingly, his gaze was drawn to Harry's wide green eyes, staring into his huge green pupils, eventually, Severus shamefully gave a soft probe into Harry's mind, surprised that he was instantly overwhelmed by the panic and pure white blinding fear. Through Harry's eyes he saw a flash of orange, his gaze burning into Lily's cold hard gaze before trailing down her neck. Severus immediately pulled out, and Harry gave a sharp gasp. Staring at him with his eyes doubled in fear of him, and his own conflicting emotions, unable to cry out.

Crushed with guilt, Severus apologized over and over again, and lowered Harry back in his bed, hushing him as he hastily dried the tears away, only then he realized that the overwhelming smell of urine again. He cursed, feeling terrible. He was a horrible parent.

Before he could even register what was happening Poppy rushed in with Janet on her tail, her mouth forming into a wide gape as she saw her patient.

"Severus....?" it took him a moment to realize that she was actually talking to him. Shaking his head, Snape just sighed.

"I don't know what happened, he was screaming, in a nightmare I presume, then he started counting the moment he was even awake, I can't get him to calm down." he was on auto pilot, his own words seemed alien to him, all he could see was Harry's fearful eyes. Afraid of /him/. Severus had never done that, he had never relied on Legilimency as a source of information, much less using it on his son.

The mortification of his actions were lost on him as Poppy took over his place and examined his child. Harry never responded to her, his eyes were on Janet all long, eyes wide in fear, whereas he shouldn't be afraid at all, that was the purpose of calming draught, how scared was Harry? Was he fighting the potion? Maybe one dose wasn't enough?

"Severus, I think it's time you and I had a talk." Poppy finally said, turning away from him.

"How is he?" he could see no change in the boy's demeanor, in fact his breathing seemed more uneven than before.

"I'm going to contact a mind healer, I'm no expert in that field Severus. He is stabled for now though." she gave him a pointed glance and pocketed her wand.

"What should we do now?" Janet asked, wringing her hands, even she could feel Harry's eyes on her.

"Just leave him to rest, he is bound to calm down eventually." the matron quickly ushered the couple to the living room, closing Harry's door behind them.

"Severus I do know how irrational you are being over his health as I've said so many times, but don't you think it's time to get help?" she started, leading the man in question to the kitchen.

Janet rubbed his arm affectionately, as Severus was too shocked to respond. She then exited the room, mumbling about a change of clothes.

"This has never happened before." he protested, he was not in denial, he knew his son, something wasn't right here. Something was amiss. He inhaled deeply.

"He has been having a very hard time lately."

"Yes, but we worked it out, he is happy Poppy. There was no need for him to feel this anxious."

"That is something Harry will have to tell us, but Severus, contacting a mind healer in this stage is inevitable." the potion master sat down on his chair, his head held up by his hands, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I want to help him, but he is not comfortable with a therapist Poppy. I know he's not." Harry barely talked to him about his problems, and he knew Severus for eight years now, no therapist was going to help him if it took that long for Harry to trust them in the first place. Severus was torn, he wanted this conversation to be over with already, so he could get back to Harry, his son needed him. But he knew he couldn't outrun this talk anymore.

"There is no room for consideration I'm afraid, if his anxiety's not treated it could be harmful." the matron pulled out a card out of her pocket and handed it to him.

"I need to talk with Harry first." he had to talk with Harry, he would never make a decision without him, he had to know what happened first, gather information, assess the situation, and then work something out with his son.

Poppy clicked her tongue in disapproval. "Severus, sometimes the parent is the one who knows better. This is the decision you need to make for him."

"I can't, not without his consent first Poppy."

"And what if he declines? You have dodged this matter long enough, if you want to help Harry, you need to be strict, and sure about your decision. It's not about how he feels Severus, it's about what's better for him on the long run."

It was all too much for him, it all had happened so fast, that are eris felt like he as still in shock, he needed to clear his head, ponder his options, figure out what happened in the first place and then find a solution /with/ Harry, not /for/ him. Was it wrong? Should he really listen to the matron?

"Where are you going?" Poppy paused, and looked at him over her shoulder.

"Check on Harry, and then contact a mind healer. I have a friend in that department."

Severus moved to stand, wanting to see Harry for himself, but the matron stopped him.

"You stay here, that way the child wouldn't be able to influence your decision." she walked back to him, and put a comforting hand on his sagged shoulder.

"Think about his future Severus. You won't always be with him then, provide the help he needs." his heart was screaming profanities in response as his mind was already bargaining the deal, Harry would hate him if he did this, the child would be betrayed, but Poppy was right, Severus wouldn't be with Harry forever.

"Severus!" his mind snapped out of his musings, when he heard Janet scream. Faster than he thought possible, he and the matron made their way to Harry's room, the door was ajar and Janet was swearing, Severus burst through that door for the second time in a second row, and entered the bedroom in a frenzy.

"He's gone! Severus he's gone!" she shook him by the shoulders, turning his catatonic body toward the empty bed, Severus was reduced into jelly, he wildly looked at the open window, knowing that Harry had gotten out of the window. How? How did the child even sit up? He was knocked out, Poppy was sure of it!

He should be nearby, his mind denied, he had to be close, perhaps down in the lawn or somewhere, curled up. He tore himself out of Janet's arms and went to the window, trying to find the small boy clad in red pyjamas, it was very hard in that rushing rain, occasionally a lighting struck and the wind blew. Severus was getting increasingly worried.

"Poppy?"

The matron looked dumbstruck, just as much in shock as he was, Janet seemed the only person rational enough to go and look for the boy in the yard.

"That's impossible. I... I don't know what to say. He couldn't have gone by himself, maybe he was kidnapped?" out of her mouth it seemed the only logical explanation, but then a rustling sound caught his ears. It was a torn paper out of Harry's favorite book great expectations, obviously torn in a hurry, and marred with a line of fresh blood.

I hate you.

The handwriting was almost illegible, but Severus knew that handwriting anywhere.

The pen he had written with was also dropped near his bed, glittering with blood. His blood ran cold. His eyes bulged and his breathing picked up. The sentence did not sink in no matter how many times he reread it. Harry had ran away.

The questions didn't matter, he didn't about whys or hows, he only knew that his son was gone and there was a storm outside.

"He's gone." it more sounded like a farewell than a statement, and his heart seared when he realized how true that can be. He's gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later.

Panic seized his throat, and he couldn't hide his desperation behind that stoic mask anymore. There was a typhoon outside, and his son was missing. He was in the woods, panicked, scared, defenseless and also wearing nothing but his pyjamas.

That was when the reality of the situation hit him, and he had to sit down so he wouldn't pass out. He was horrified, he had no idea why Harry had ran away, how he had even ran away in his state. And what triggered it in the first place. What was terrifying even more, was the fact that the point me spells were not working in that storm outside, and the forest was vast, it was dark, and Harry was small enough to hide anywhere he wanted to. Oh god, he dragged a tired hand on his face.

Finding him seemed impossible.

"You have no idea what triggered this?" Molly asked for the third time, looking out of the window with concern.

He shook his head, resting his head in his hands. "Just the nightmare."

"Well, the point me spells aren't working." Remus retreated back to the house, too exhausted from the full moon to join the search party looking outside. Albus shook his head sadly.

"I contacted the Aurors."

Severus surged up to his feet and started pacing. This isn't enough, he thought desperately, grinding his teeth. This was pointless, he had to go look for Harry himself... Who knew where Harry was right now? Was he lost? Angry? Scared? His poor child was still in his soiled pyjama bottoms, panicked and alone, in a storm... Oh merlin! He whimpered inwardly pulling at his disheveled hair.

"Severus calm down, you're not helping Harry, by..."

"Calm down? My son is out there missing and you want me to calm down? You daft hag?" he wasn't capable of insulting Molly more than that. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, he felt hot coiled rage churn in his guts, he wanted to kill them all for wasting his time, precious time that slipped out of his fingers, preventing him from finding his son. Never before Severus had felt so useless and worried, not even when Harry had faced a basilisk. The realization hit him like a train. Harry was a child, he might be fourteen, but in his mind, he was still a child. He couldn't possibly defend himself out there in the forest, without his wand, without anything to defend himself with...

"At least slow down and explain what happened!" Remus finally barked, agitation evident both in his face and in his tired voice. They had arrived right an hour after Harry had went missing and Severus had already contacted Albus and the Weasleys. Black immediately joined the search party, and Albus held Severus back, saying that he was no use for anyone while he was this distraught.

"I don't know!" Severus snarled back, his pacing coming a halt. "We just stepped out one minute to talk with the damn healer and then Harry's gone! Out of the window leaving nothing but a..."

His voice caught in his throat and he felt nausea rushing up to his mouth. He felt queasy and ready to drop right on the floor, weeping for Harry to come back. ' I hate you ' that sentence circled in his conscious and seized him by the throat. The child hated him, and Severus didn't even know why, he was fine! His child was finally happy, he was content. What happened? What did Severus or Janet do to make Harry /run/ away? Leaving nothing but a...

"What did he leave in his room?" Molly prodded gently, and shifted in her seat. Severus shook his head sadly, barely keeping himself together. You are a grown adult! Harry needs you! He berated himself vigorously. But still his heart seared in fear and confusion.

"Just a single note, it said... I hate you. I don't know what happened next but his window was wide open...." He trailed off, sinking to his seat once again. He was so scared, what if Harry froze to death? What if the child was in a panic attack again and needed him? Even without taking the new found bedwetting problem into consideration, Severus wanted to tear himself apart. Oh merlin forbid, what if a lighting struck Harry?

"Did you have any conflicts recently or...." the headmaster was interrupted when the door barged open, Bill, Charlie and Arthur stepped in, looking exhausted and resigned. Molly looked at her husband questioningly but he shook his head. Severus swore. His heart slamming to his rib cage like a hammer.

"He's not there. Not in the barns, not the house nor in the woods. We can't risk looking for him on brooms though." he explained quietly, constantly gazing at the anxious father.

"Why not?" the said father growled, looking ready to commit cold blooded murder.

Bill sighed. "Sir, it's not possible with that storm raging outside. It's too dangerous."

Severus let his breath out slowly, adamant to hold on to his last shred of hope and common sense.

"I'll go." Harry's broom had to be in his closet still, he just had to go by himself. Harry couldn't be that far, the child was not in the state to run too deep in the woods. But Severus didn't know or cared any more. Every cell in his body screamed for Harry. He had to find his son.

"Absolutely not, Severus that is madness..."

"If none of those idiots are going to find my child then I will. Hold it Albus. I will not listen to your nonsense anymore."

Exactly in that moment Sirius burst through the door followed by the searching squad, looking thoroughly pissed off, dripping wet from the rain, his grey stormy eyes turned into steel and his hands fisted at his sides like a petulant child.

"I knew that I shouldn't have left him alone with you Snape!" Black strode to him, ready to strike, Severus narrowed his eyes and steadied himself for the attack. Arthur stepped in before Sirius could throw a punch and Remus crossed his arms. Staring at Severus with pure hatred shining in his hazel eyes.

"This is all your fault you bastard! You drove him to run away! You filthy swine! You deatheater!" Arthur stepped in and held Sirius back he could throw a punch, and Remus glared at the potion master, his glare fixed with pure hatred.

"That's enough!" Janet snapped in indignation, the tray shaking in her hands. Sirius merely sneered.

"What snivelous? Waiting for another Evans to save you? God, you're as pathetic as ever!"

"Shut your mouth Black!" she dumped the tray on the coffee table, the house shook with another monstrous thunder.

"/You/ shut your mouth Evans! Harry was fine before /you/ came into the picture! /You / are the one to blame for all of this! " Janet seared, fuming. She slapped the man square in the face and glared at the werewolf who growled.

"How dare you! You filthy mutt! I love Harry as if he's my own son!"

"You're nothing but a liar! You drove him away! You ruined him!"

"You're the one who ran away as soon as your pall turned out to be a fucking abuser! You're pathetic!" Her high pitch voice snapped Severus out of his daze, looking at the two arguing back and forth.

"At least I had the guts to admit it, what about you Evans? Looking for your sister's redemption? oh sorry, i meant /fucking half sister/. Merlin knows to what extents you went to reassure that didn't you? " he threw a disgusted glare back at the potion master, who was just standing with a stoic face. Black gloated, his snarling face inches apart from Janet.

"I love Severus, and I love Harry. Don't you suggest otherwise you dog!"

"You think Harry will be willing to live with /you/? Just wait until he knows Evans, in fact, I think he already does." Remus drawled, brushing past the shocked Weasley matriarch.

"Even if he does, your gloating means nothing Lupin, there won't be any Harry if you keep on bawling over me." she responded coldly, turning away. Severus's mind was too occupied to defend Janet, his mind, his whole focus was with Harry. He turned away, he had to change his attire and join the search party. He drawled.

"I should've left with him the moment that Bastard hit him." Sirius's muttering reached his ears. It stung more than he wanted to admit. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't let this one go without a bitting remark.

"Sirius I think you said enough." Molly also stepped in the fight, grabbing him by the elbow.

Severus stood motionless,his face stoic and his jaw firmly set.

"You dare to accuse me of being an abuser? Of abusing my own child? You should know better mutt. After all he was right under your nose for six bloody years and you never noticed." he seethed quietly, and took off to Harry's room immediately , determined to find the boy's broom. Another lightning struck, and, Severus's insides turned into jelly, fearing that sound for the first time in his life.

"You hit him!"

"He did no such a thing! Get yourself together you jerk! This is about Harry!" Janet jumped in his defense again, her eyes blazing dangerously.

Severus paid neither any mind anymore and slipped in Harry's bedroom. The lump in his throat throbbed as he turned on the lights, the yelling and arguments already faded in the background as he took a good look around the room. Watching Harry decorate his room for the first time, was one of his best memories, he mused. It was the first time that Harry really had acted like a child. Severus remembered how they had painted the walls with blue paint with their hands, jokingly leaving their hand prints all over the left side of the wall. he remembered Harry's bright laughter. Ringing in his ears.
He gulped down the sob trying to break out its way out of his mouth and strode to the wardrobe, vaguely wondering whether Harry was going to get fussy over him touching his stuff again or not.

He wouldn't, if you don't hurry. The storm reminded him. Frantically he tore his way through the child's wardrobe, subconsciously careful to not wrinkle the clothes. Harry would have his head if he did.

"Severus. Have some tact please, the Aurors are here." Albus had entered behind him, beseeching him.

"What good would they be if they can't use magic?"

"Better than an over emotional and distraught father. That's for sure." Albus sighed, moving toward him in a firm pace.

"I would not let that mutt and those fools insult me, or teach me how to be a father Albus. My son is out there, he is absolutely terrified of storms, and there is a good chance that he's in the woods and not aware of his surrendering. You can't keep me here to do nothing."

"I'm begging you to see reason, Aurors are trained, and you are not. There is a storm out there, and the sooner you stopped being stubborn, the sooner we can find that child."

"I waited for two hours, that is long enough for me." He mounted on the broom, silently recalling the day he had bought it for Harry, adoring the bright smile lighting his face. He shook his head. Not now. He quietly admonished himself internally.

"The search party just got back Severus. Harry is not in the woods."

Severus shook his head. He was, he knew that Harry was in the woods, if his parent instincts were any consolation, the child was there.

"He's just hiding." he had hid from him before.

"Well you can't find him, if you're dead or injured Severus."

"He needs me."

"What he needs right now, is a level headed father with his common sense in tact."

"There's a thunderstorm out there Albus. We don't have time for common sense." he then realized that window was too small for him to fly, he would have to exit out of the door.

"Have some faith in him. He is not a child." Severus fumed, he climbed down the broom and stalked up to his mentor.

"That's where you are wrong Dumbledore. He /is/ a child. My child. Who's scared, alone, and clad in nothing but his soiled pyjamas, pardon me if I'm not really faithful at the moment."

"He had faced many horrors in his life." by then Snape was hardly resisting the argument anymore. This is a waste of time, in a moment of desperation he actually thought if he could knock Albus out and fly straight out of the door.

"You don't know him. I'm his father, I know him, I raised him. He will not survive in that storm. Now get out of my way."

"You will he struck by the lightning Severus. Flying on a broom in this weather is suicide."

"Sir?" a knock disrupted their conversation. It was Tonks, looking rather nervous as she sensed the tension in the room.

"My dear, have the Aurors arrived?" Albus turned to her, positive that Severus wouldn't leave the house before giving them what they wanted. Severus on the other hand, was torn. A bigger part of him wanted to stride out of the door and look for Harry himself, but the other part reasoned that he should at least give some basic information to the aurors, there was always a chance that they had overlooked a location.

"Yes headmaster. They would like talk with Professor Snape?" Albus turned to him, his eyes pleading the dubious man. With a regrettable sigh, Severus clutched the broom in his hand and strode out of the room briskly. Janet was absent and the canines were talking with the searching squad, aurors were scattered around the house, interrogating the Weasleys.

"Make it quick." he barked to the inspector, who bobbed her head vigorously.

"Name?" the quickquill wrote furiously on the parchment.

"Harry James Severus Potter."

"Age?"

"Fourteen years old and a month." this is a waste of time. His son was out there for meelin's sake! Who cared about his fucking age?!!

"Weight and Height please?"

Severus growled. "Is that really essential to the case?" he seethed, sneering at the aurors who were watching the exchange shamelessly.

"Sir please, we need the information. Weight and height?" the potion master bared his teeth.

"Seven stones more or less, the height is 5'3." now that he was saying it at loud he realized just how small his son really was, and judging by the aurors raised eyebrows they also seem to think the same.

"Physical description?" she pushed a fringe of hair from her forehead, flipping through her papers.

"Uh..Messy black hair, green eyes, he has rectangular glasses, big frame and... Uh.." wait, did Harry wear his rectangular glasses or the round ones? why did Harry's face seemed so blurry all of a sudden? He knew Harry inside out, even more so than he knew himself , but now... He couldn't recall what shape or color his glasses even were.

"Does he have any physical impairments?" did he? No, Severus didn't think so, slightly malnourished and a little too short, but no physical impairments.

"No, just some bruises, but nothing else."

"History of mental illnesses?" the potion master stilled, mental illnesses? He racked his brain, licking his dry lips, trying not leave anything out, he quickly ran a list in his brain.

"I am not really sure. Anxiety disorder, and depression, prone to panic attacks?"

"So he has a medical case? Is he on any forms of medication?" this one Severus was sure of.

"No, no medical case concerning his mental health and no medication."

"Last question sir, is there anything else we should particularly be aware of? Is he suicidal?" he bristled in response, but then paused. He had to tell about the counting. Barely containing his rage, he shook his head.

"No, he is not. There is one thing, he tends to count whenever he is scared or upset, if possible don't interrupt or call him, he is also sensitive to stranger touch, so if it's possible also keep that to minimum. Is the search party already out there?"

The woman nodded, putting her quill away.

"We also need further information on the case. Was there a particular reason for your son to run away Mr. Snape?"

"I don't know. He was feeling well when I saw him last." at least I think so.

"Any idea where he might have went? Most people wouldn't risk running in the woods in this storm."

"No, we already checked his friend's house." Janet cut in, reentering the living room.

"Is he prone to self harm as well? Maybe that was a major incentive for him to run away?" another auror piped in, Black and Lupin walked up to him, accusation inflamed their eyes.

Severus sputtered. Of course not! Harry would never deliberately harm himself, it was outrageous!

"No." he hissed, his hand clenching around the broom.

"The only thing I know, is that he saw his abuser in his dream momentarily before waking up, and it was only a glimpse, I did not even see her face." Janet gasped, her head whipping toward her fiance.

"You saw her?" she whispered, her own hand tracing her chest self-consciously.

Severus nodded. "Only a glimpse." he then turned his exasperated expression back to the inspector.

"What? You used legilimency on Harry?!" Remus's scandalized cry went unnoticed.

"Now would you please proceed? The storm is getting worse and my son is in the woods." he sneered, the inspector's reply was cut off by Janet, her blue eyes wide in morbid realization.

"Wait. I think I know why he ran away." she whispered, and the room went ghost silent, the sound of constant branches tapping the window and Lupin's heavy breathing were the only sounds in contrast to the sudden tension. Severus stilled, catching her petrified eyes.

"Ma'am?" the inspector turned to her, the quickquill hovered in the air.

"I think he saw it, Severus." Janet said quietly, ignoring the other presences in their living room. Severus felt like the wind was knocked out of him, his sharp legendary focus snapped in two, and his life lost all meaning.

"What?" his voice wasn't above a whisper as he felt his heart sink in his chest. Harry knew. His son knew, that's why he hated Severus. He knew that Severus had lied to him. Oh merlin, the broom fell out of his shaking hand. How? How could Harry possibly know that? They were so careful, they had taken every precaution it took. How?!

"I think he saw me in the bathroom earlier, I'm not sure though, but he asked me about it." she confirmed, her hand on her chest, just above the birthmark.

"And you didn't tell me?!" he snarled, aghast with realization and out of control.

"He didn't look upset! He was happy Sev, th...there was nothing wrong with him, I thought he didn't know."

"Oh merlin, Severus do you think he..." the house suddenly shook, a deafening sound overtook his senses, people cried out with shock and a window shattered by the sheer force of that lightning. His heart missed a beat, panic-stricken the potion master somehow made it out of the house before anyone else. The sound was truly deafening, and the light blinded his sight, his skin tingled with terror as he ran right into the woods.

/"Harry?! Oh merlin, Harry?!" the young potion master frantically looked around the apothecary, frantically looking for the seven year old he had lost in the crowd, ingredients be damned, Severus abandoned his purchase and looked around the bustling street.

The freaked out father, swore and ran down between the crowd, combing his way through the people and inspecting the shops, looking for a tiny little boy probably crying somewhere. How irresponsible was he? Harry was always attached to him, how did they get separated?! Was he that excited to get that boomslang skin that he forgot about the child?!

"I'm sorry, have you seen a small boy nearby? He is seven and very short, with black hair." he quickly asked an old woman when he was out of breath. The woman shook her head apologetically and brushed past him.

Severus spent another ten minutes, looking around for his missing son, guilt gnawing at his chest. Out of a whim, he took off to the florean Fortescue's, they had passed by earlier and didn't have the time to stop by, maybe Harry was there?

He was, much to Severus's relief and anger. He ran towards the child and grabbed him by the elbows, inwardly reassuring himself that the child was fine, he then drew back and shook the boy.

"What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how scared....." he trailed off, his eyes set on Harry's puffy red face and snot covering his face. His heart dropped and the anger was immediately shaken off. Harry sniffed in his chest but said nought.

"Harry what happened?" he didn't need the answer as he saw /them/ sitting by a table, laughing and chatting with a child between them, enjoying their family sundae. Severus hissed, he knelt down and took Harry's face in his hands.

"I'm sorry." fat droplets of tears landed on his hands. Severus shook his head.

"No, don't be sorry, alright? I wasn't angry Harry, I was worried that I would lose you."

Harry sniffed, wiping his snot away with the back of his hand.

"Lose me? I'm not going anywhere Daddy." he said it more like a question, as if testing Severus. The potion master smiled and picked him up, both strolling to another direction.

"No you're not." he muttered in his hair, vowing that he would never lose the child. He would kill himself if anything happened to his son./

Call it instincts, or telepathy, or sheer foolishness, but he just knew where that lighting struck. The unabashed roar of that blast, rippled through his ears, he ran blindly through the woods, tripping and falling, he stood each time, his sole focus on the burning tree not so far beaconing him closer, quickly catching on the other branches and spreading like wildfire.

"HARRY!" he called his name, until his throat was sore and useless and the storm raged on. As he called the child, others were calling him, following him with their wands drawn, Severus presumed that there were few of them, as he seized his way to the burning tree.

The fire surrendered the whole area, he couldn't get close without his wand, that didn't mean he didn't try though. Soaking wet, the potion master frantically yelled out Harry's name trying to dampen the flames with his cloak, so he could get to the tree.

Aurors joined his struggle, blindly following his actions, they constantly tried to tame the flames, someone with a broom flied above the fore and landed on the other side, rushing to the burning tree bark.

"Holy shit!" a loud voice cried out, all was a blur to him, he gave up the cloak and dug through the burning branches with his hands, he hissed with pain, but didn't draw back.

"Send help! Send help, he's in there! He's in the fucking tree!" the auror screamed profanities and other joined in, some apparating to the other side, and some still taming the fire. Severus was too unfocused to Apparate, he sank to his knees, his mouth open as the tree burned before his eyes. With his son in it.

With a chocked sob, he yanked the burning root aside and ran into the circle, his mouth wide open. He was in there, Severus could see it, red stripped pyjama pants peaking out of the hole attached to the small blackened toes motionlessly on the ground.

Why isn't he coming out?! Why isn't he yelling?! Oh merlin.

/"Do you love me Daddy?"

"Of course baby boy, why do you ask that?" little Harry shrugged, wringing his stuffed rabbit in his hands.

"I had a dream last night. You said you didn't love me anymore."

"Shhh. Of course I love you, you're my child remember? Besides it was just a dream. Dreams can't hurt us." /

Dreams can't hurt us. He was defeated by his own words, he had frozen, unable to register what was going on around him, even Dumbledore had joined the team, but all he could do was stand and stare, while his child burned in that tree. While he stood there doing nothing, while he thought over every regret, every time he neglected Harry. It was all his fault, everything.

He didn't know when he exactly snapped out of his stupor. When they yanked his child out of that bark, or when the smell of burning flesh hit him. What he did remember quite vividly, despite the screaming and colors and blurry and that damn rain, was the sound of the storm.

The sound of the sky above them.