“Welcome to The Next Step Anonymous Alcoholics,” the chairperson said from his seat in the center of the circle of chairs surrounding him. “This is a closed AA meeting. Closed meetings are limited to those who have a desire to stop drinking. Let us bow our heads in prayer.”

               Respectfully, Severus lowered his head, but he did not close his eyes. A week had passed since he had officially adopted Harry, and he knew he had to get going on those meetings in case Carys decided to make an unannounced visit some time soon. He had found a place in a small, picturesque muggle town close to Northumberland National Park. Ostbridge they called it, and it was like walking through a Hallmark movie set—the perfect little town with flowers outside every shop, friendly people waving hellos and good evenings. It was such a different atmosphere from his home back in Cokeworth.

               To get to Ostbridge, Severus had to leave the Apparition wards of Hogwarts, then apparate to where he knew a bus station would be in the city closest to the town. He had never been to Ostbridge, so he was unsure of a secluded place to apparate to there. He rode the bus the rest of the way, and took his time walking around a bit to get to know the area before arriving at a chapel where the meeting was to take place at 7:30pm. It was the closest place with a meeting held that night he could travel to.

               The chapel was a small area, with foldable chairs arranged in a circle with several other chairs folded and lined up along the side walls. At the end of the building was the altar, and large windows allowed the last of the day’s light to shine through. It was simple yet elegant and seated fifteen people very well.

               “God grant me the serenity,” the chairperson was speaking again, “to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.”

               There were several other “Amens,” but Severus kept quiet as he lifted his head.

               “My name is Frederick Leitz,” the chairperson said, “but everyone calls me Freddy. I am an alcoholic, and I’ve been sober for twenty-seven years.”

               Everyone clapped in the room, Severus reluctantly joining in, out of respect, of course. That was an achievement. Freddy held his hands up, half-heartedly attempting to hush everyone. He was a taller, older man, graying at the top, his smile revealing yellowing teeth.   

               “Thank you, thank you,” Freddy said. “Are there any new faces here who’d like to introduce themselves? Any at all?”

               Freddy made a show of glancing around the room, and some of the members looked directly at Severus, who narrowed his eyes at Freddy. The man simply smiled back, his brown eyes twinkling like someone else’s Severus knew.

               “Very well. This meeting I’d like to talk about everyone’s worst enemy—cravings.”

               There were nods of agreements and some chuckles.

               “They’re completely normal, aren’t they? It’s our body’s way of saying, “hey, doesn’t this sound good? I want it and I want it now.” When my stomach wants a good ol’ fashioned roast dinner, my honey at home whips it up before I even knew what I was hungry for. And when honey’s having a bad day and she’s needing chocolate—well, I go get her some chocolate. We respond to cravings naturally; it’s ingrained in us to feed our body what it wants. But what if you’re body wants a drink but your brain says no? Anyone here got any experience with fighting cravings?”

               A hand raised and Freddy pointed at the woman. She stood and smiled at the room.

               “Hi, my name’s Jo Lee, I’m an alcoholic and I’ve been sober for two years,” the woman began, turning slightly from side to side as she spoke so she could look at everyone, a big smile on her face. “Actually, when I first started quitting drinking, I had horrible cravings every day. And it took a while for me to stop drinking because of it. I figured I could have just a little glass to stop the hunger, but a little led to more and I relapsed again and again. On May third, nineteen-eighty-nine, my sister was visiting, and I was having those cravings. So, she dragged me out with her to one of her paint classes, said I needed something to distract myself. Painting pulled me out of my thoughts and body, and I could just enter this new world I was creating on a blank sheet, filled with vibrant colors and shapes and stories. I’ve been painting every week since, and I have not had any cravings.”

               “Thank you, Jo,” Freddy nodded, clapping his hands, as did everyone else. Jo sat back down. Freddy spoke again as he walked around, passing out pamphlets. “That is inspiring. Cravings are a nuisance, but the good news is they will decrease in strength and frequency with time. We just have to survive through it. How?” Freddy held up a pamphlet. “By remembering the acronym DEADS.”

               Severus accepted a pamphlet and looked down at it, reading what each letter stood for before opening it to see information on coping strategies through cravings and urges when trying to quit.

               Freddy had made his way around and was back at the front.

               “What does this mean? Delay, escape, accept, dispute, and substitute. Delay your cravings by not thinking about them and not giving into them. Escape your cravings. Get away from whatever may have triggered it or just get away—period. Go for a walk until they leave. Accept that your cravings will pass and that they will not kill you if you don’t give in. Dispute with your cravings that they are unreasonable and that you are not actually craving what you think you are. And substitute, like Jo Lee and her paintings, find something better.”

               The meeting went on, discussing several of the coping mechanisms in the pamphlet. A few more members shared their stories of how they managed to cope or failed to cope and discussed ways in which they could improve. Severus remained silent and simply listened to everyone else. Once Freddy closed the meeting and everyone was chatting with each other, Severus stuffed the pamphlet into a pocket, threw on his cloak, and left quickly.

               As he walked down the path, he heard footsteps running after him.

               “Sir, wait!”

               Severus looked back to see Freddy catching up to him.

               “You forgot this,” Freddy said, handing over a coin. “Welcome to The Next Step. I hope we see you again.”

               “What is this?” Severus asked, taking the coin. It was a silver coin with a triangle in the blue colored center. In the middle of the triangle was “24 HOURS” and around the triangle said, “To Thy Own Self Be True.” Severus looked up at Freddy.

               “It’s your first coin,” Freddy explained. “To help celebrate your sobriety. And to remind you to take this one day at a time. You’ll earn more, I know you will. This is the beginning of your next step.”

               Severus’s fist closed around the coin and he pocketed it as well. He nodded his head, adjusted his cloak, and with a quick, “Thank you,” he turned away.

               “You’re a new face around here,” Freddy said, following and matching Severus’s strides easily.

               Great, he’s following me, Severus thought, biting his tongue.

               “What brings you here to Ostbridge?”

               Severus sighed. It was a long walk to where he could peacefully apparate out of the town, so he decided to indulge the man until Freddy gave up on stalking him.

               “My son,” he answered.

               Freddy’s smile brightened and he nodded.

               “A very good reason,” the man said. He looked around as if he had never seen the place before. “It’s a small town, but big enough to run into someone new every day. Especially with tourists passing through. Otherwise, it’s usually quiet and serene. A good place to escape the big, crazy world.”

               “It’s a lovely town,” Severus commented.

               “I’ve lived here my whole life. You’d think a man would want a change after a while, but I moved to London when I was a young lad, and here I am now. Came right back home.”   

               “That seems to be how it always works out, doesn’t it?” Severus said, remembering how he had never wanted to go back to his parents’ home once he was of age but there he was, still living there, head of the house.

               “Thing is, I love this place. Not many folks can say the same. Many come here, they stay a while, and then they leave, off to find a place that feels like home to them. Some don’t know what that means.”

               Severus sighed, growing slightly annoyed with Freddy. Couldn’t the man take a hint and leave him be? The two exited the town and walked down a pathway, passing houses now, spaced a good distance apart from each other.

               “So where you headed, sir?” Freddy asked. “I don’t believe the buses are going to run through this town again tonight. I could give you a lift in my car.”

               “That won’t be necessary,” Severus said. “I will be meeting someone halfway; they will give me a lift.”

               “Ah, I see,” Freddy paused, staring at a dark house. “Look at that. Empty and dark. It never used to be.”

               Severus looked at what Freddy was staring at. To his right, down a pathway surrounded by well taken care of hedges, was a bungalow house with vines crawling up the sides and a well-kept garden of flowers in the front. A “For Sale” sign sat in the middle of the lawn.

               “It’s for sale,” Severus stated, though that much was obvious.

               “Yeah,” Freddy agreed. “Want to take a look inside?”

               “I believe open house hours are over,” Severus said.

               “Nonsense,” Freddy said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key. He walked down the path.

               “You’re the seller?” Severus asked, shaking his head in disbelief. Of course, I would travel to a small town and get roped in to house hunting, he thought. He followed the man however, curious to at least see the place. It was small, smaller than his home in Spinner’s end, but it was a beautiful house with enough land to have three greenhouses in the back.

               “I’m just helping out my daughter. She’s off exploring the world. Only visits on the holidays, anymore. She agreed to sell it.”

               “How old is your daughter?” Severus asked as he waited for the man to unlock the door.

               “She just turned twenty-seven.”

               Before Severus could comment on that, Freddy opened the door and flicked a switch, and Severus took in a breath as he stepped inside a foyer that opened to a spacious and well-furnished living area. A large empty bookcase leaned against the wall and a television sat on a TV stand to the side of the fireplace. He could see the remodeled kitchen and dining area past the living room from where he stood.

               “Please, let me take your cloak,” Freddy said, and Severus wordlessly allowed the material to slip from his shoulder’s. Freddy hung the cloak on a hanger in the foyer, then led the way into the living area. “Obviously, this is your lounge, furniture is included, rarely used, it was. There’s a nice fireplace over there for you. Over here is the kitchen, everything is up to date. The island in the center has a sink and several more storage cabinets, quite convenient, I’d say. The dining table is big enough for six, but you can always trade that out if you think it’s too big.”

               “This is beautiful,” Severus said, looking around and sliding his hand along the granite countertop. This house was modern compared to his untouched home back in Cokeworth, which still held many of the styles from the sixties. He liked the new look. It was growing on him fast.

               “If you follow me through the hall here,” Freddy said, leading Severus toward the one hallway in the house. He paused halfway through and opened a door. “This is your laundry room.”

               “Handy,” Severus commented glancing inside. He could use something like that.

               “Here’s the bathroom.”

               Severus stepped inside the bathroom. It was large and had a shower and a separate tub big enough for five people. For a moment, Severus could see himself relaxing in a nice warm bath—oh, he hadn’t had one since he was probably twelve or thirteen. Severus shook the thought away and walked out as Freddy was moving to the last two rooms.

               “This is one of the bedrooms,” Freddy said, motioning to the opened room.

               Severus stepped inside and smiled softly as he envisioned Harry in the room. There was a full-size bed, which was bigger than Harry’s current bed. There was a dresser and a small closet in the room. He could place a desk in the room for the boy. He would have to find the boy one, he figured. There was a window seat and Severus could see part of the town through it. Harry would love that. Severus walked back out and Freddy showed him the last room.

               “This is the master bedroom,” Freddy opened the door to reveal a large bedroom with a queen size bed.

There was little else in the room, but Severus could see placing the desk from his study against the back wall where the window overlooked the backyard. He could also place a bookshelf in the bedroom for some of the books from his library, the rest would fit perfectly in the bookshelf in the living room. There was a dresser and a decent sized walk in closet.

“One little trick about this walk-in closet,” Freddy said with a wink as he stepped inside. He pulled at a sliding door Severus just noticed and watched amazed as the closet expanded into another full-size room. Severus’s mouth fell open as he walked inside.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered.

“I know, right? When my daughter first bought this house, it was a three-bedroom house. She remodeled the bathroom to what it is now and turned what remained of the third room into this, took down a wall and rebuilt a wall and . . . ah, I won’t bore you with the architecture. So, what do you think?”

“It’s . . . smaller than what I’m used to. But it’s a really nice house. Everything is modern and the rooms are perfect.”

Severus walked through the house more. The backyard was huge, and he could see himself starting a garden, something he could not do at Spinner’s End. He thought back to the town and what he had seen there. Several small shops, mom-and-pop restaurants, a small public library, the chapel, a playground along the pathway, and of course, several walking trails. He sighed. Would it be worth moving away? He only lived at Spinner’s End on holidays. It’s not like there was much worth going back home to. Besides, it would be a big—most likely expensive—change and he had just adopted Harry and he was trying to stay sober. Could he really add a new house on top of that?

“Think of it this way,” Freddy said, as he stood next to Severus, looking out the lounge window as well. “This could be the next step you need to take.”

Severus narrowed his eyes at the smiling man.

He finally made it back to Hogwarts after eleven that night, and he quietly made his way to his quarters. The rooms were dark. Last he knew, Harry had wanted to stay in his bedroom that night and work on homework. The boy had said he would wait up for Severus, but he told Harry that if he wasn’t back by nine, the child was to retire for the night. Severus glanced in the boy’s room, but the child was not there.

Severus sighed. Harry must have gone back to his dorm, which must have been after curfew. He would have a word with the child about that. Severus used his bathroom for his nightly routines before retreating to his own bedroom. Severus flicked his wand to light the few candles and nearly startled at the small form in his bed.

Harry was asleep on his stomach, hugging one of the man’s pillows. Severus frowned, wondering if he should move the boy to his own bed or just let him sleep. The child looked so young and angelic; Severus decided he was fine where he was.

He moved quietly through his room to prepare for bed, hanging his cloak and putting the pamphlet and coin in his nightstand drawer. He changed quickly before carefully sliding into his bed, extinguishing the light. He smiled at his son, gently caressing the boy’s cheek with a thumb. He leaned forward and planted a kiss in the child’s temple.

Harry scrunched his face before his eyes blinked open. He jumped slightly seeing Severus.

“Easy,” Severus said, “It’s just me. What are you doing in here?”

“Hey Dad,” Harry smiled sleepily. “Sorry, I know you said to go to bed at nine, but I was trying to finish all my homework. Then at nine-thirty, all the lights went out.”

“They are spelled to do that at a certain time when I am not here. That must have confused you.”

“I was. I thought there was a blackout but then I remembered it’s candlelight, so it couldn’t be. Then it was really dark and quiet. I guess I’m not used to being alone in your quarters in the dark. It was kind of . . . eerie.”

“So, you come into my bed?”

“It was that or go back to my dorm, but then you would have come back and noticed I was gone.”

“And wandering the castle after curfew,” Severus said with a pointed look.

“That’s why I didn’t leave,” Harry said. “And your bed kind of has your smell and reminds me . . . I mean, umm . . .”

               Even in the dark, Severus knew the boy’s face was burning red. Harry had not meant to say that out loud. Severus smirked at the child, secretly glad the child sought comfort from him even when he wasn’t around. Severus decided not to comment on what Harry said to save the boy from embarrassment.

“I’ll try to remember to extend the time on when the lights go out should I have to leave again.”

“Thanks. How did the meeting go?”

“Torturously slow,” Severus answered. “And to think I have to go eleven more times.”

“It’ll be worth it, though, right?”

“Know that I am doing this for you, Harry. It is most definitely worth it.”

Harry smiled and moved closer to Severus, resting his head on the man’s shoulder. Severus carded a hand through the boy’s hair and kissed the boy’s head once more.

“It is late,” Severus said, “go to sleep.”

Harry fell asleep quickly, Severus following a few minutes after, enjoying the warmth of having the boy close.

Two weeks passed slowly, with Severus growing more withdrawn by the day. Classes were harder to teach when his hands constantly shook, and he was very easily agitated by the students. Soon the whole school knew to give Severus Snape space unless they wanted fifty points taken for sneezing incorrectly. Severus stopped eating at the Great Hall entirely, as the noise from all the students and professors aggravated his throbbing headaches. Besides, he was never hungry anyway.

He was also falling behind on his grading and paperwork. The past few days, when he returned from teaching, he fell asleep at his desk while attempting to grade papers. Harry had stopped by one afternoon and had been surprised to see Severus passed out on piles of homework in the study.

               “Dad?” Harry tapped the man on the shoulder.

               Severus jumped awake, startling Harry as well. Severus rubbed his eyes, his head throbbing now. He looked at Harry.

               “What are you doing in here?”

               “Sorry, I was coming to ask you something, but you were asleep.”

               Severus sighed and reached into his robe for another headache reliever. He drank it down before asking, “What is it?”

               “Since you haven’t been at the Great Hall lately, I was wondering if we could have dinner here some night? Just me and you?”

               “Fine, but not tonight,” Severus answered, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. “I have a lot of work I need to catch up on.”

               “Are you okay?” Harry asked.

               “I am just fine. Don’t you have homework you could be doing?”

               “Not really.”

               “Then go write me three feet on the use of Horklump juce in the Herbicide Potion.”   

               Harry’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

               “Yes,” Severus said before waving the boy out. “Go.”

               Harry huffed and stamped his way out of Severus’s study.

               However, when they met again for the requested dinner three days later, Harry handed over the assignment, and Severus had stared down at it confused.

               “You told me to write an essay on that,” Harry explained at the table when Severus said he did not assign any new homework and reminded Harry finals were coming up.

               Severus huffed and lowered his head on his arms.

               “Just what I need,” he muttered, “more work for myself.”

               “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to get Madam Pomfrey?”

               “Absolutely not.”

               Dinner that night had not been pleasant for either of them, and Severus had been very short with Harry through it all. By the time Harry had had enough of Severus’s temper, the two were quickly butting heads over several things, including whether or not Harry needed dessert, if Harry was riding the Hogwarts Express at the end of the year or not, and somehow the conversation strayed to whether Severus should see a doctor or not. Severus had not taken kindly to Harry telling the man that he was going bonkers, and Harry had stormed out of Severus’s quarters with a smarting behind.

               It took every amount of strength Severus had to not drink. As much as he really wanted to, and he knew it would relieve all his symptoms if he just gave in, he couldn’t do it. He would lose Harry. And he kept that at the front of his mind. It was the only distraction that kept him from going down to Hogsmeade and buying out their firewhiskey.

               It wasn’t until Severus collapsed in the middle of proctoring a final exam did the symptoms start to fade. Thanks to Madam Pomfrey.

Severus slowly came to, blinking and wincing as sunlight assaulted his eyes. He groaned as he sat up, rubbing his temples. He looked around.

He was lying in a bed in the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey was working around him.

“And he lives,” she commented as she spelled a potion into the man’s stomach. “I would think you of all people would know that drinking so many headache relievers would result in severe dehydration.”

“It was the only thing that helped,” Severus said, swinging his feet over the side of the bed. He was in a hospital gown and he scanned the area for his clothes.

“I am not done with you,” Poppy said. “Your symptoms are serious and . . .”

“Alcohol withdrawal,” Severus said, reaching for his clothes and using his wand to switch the hospital gown for his robe. He folded the gown and set it aside.

“I know,” Poppy said. “Harry told me. Everything.”

Severus’s eyes snapped up and met Poppy’s.

“I won’t say a word,” Poppy said. “Apparently, no one else knows but the headmaster.”

               “Yes,” Severus said, “and the boy’s friends. Look, I don’t want to waste your time. I can handle this.”

               “What you need to do,” Poppy said, summoning a parchment and handing it to the man, “is eat good, healthy meals whether you want to or not, drink plenty of water, and take the potions I give you. And no more headache relievers. They’re bad for your liver.”

               “You mean whatever’s left of my liver,” Severus snapped as he read the parchment. It had a list of meals he could eat throughout the day that were easy on the stomach and nutritious. It also stated the potions Poppy was giving him, how much and how often to take, as well as a reminder to drink more water.

               “I performed some diagnostics on you while you were out. Your liver, remarkably, is healthy. You should be glad you’re a wizard. I’d say magic played a strong role in that.”

               “How long was I out for?

“All day. It’s just past midnight now. I suggest you go to your quarters and rest.”

“Sleep some more?”

“Falling unconscious is not restful sleeping. You, once again, know this.”

Severus huffed as he slipped his boots on. H slipped the parchment into an inner robe pocket and brushed himself off as he stood. “Thank you for your assistance.”

Before Poppy could even smile, a loud voice was shouting for her. Severus and Poppy watched as Albus and Minerva ran into the infirmary, an unconscious Harry Potter floating behind them. Severus felt his heart stop as he watched Harry gently levitate to one of the beds. Severus and Poppy both ran over to Harry. Poppy using her wand to perform several diagnostics.

“What happened?” Severus asked, looking up at Albus.

“I found him below the trap door,” Albus said. “He saved the stone from Quirrell and Voldemort.”

Severus winced at the sound of the Dark Lord’s name but looked down at Harry. Poppy was already spelling potions into the boy.

“Severus,” Poppy called to the man. “He’s going to be okay. You should get some much-needed rest. Harry will most likely come to in the morning.”

“How are you feeling, Severus?” Minerva asked. “You had the whole school in an uproar with your episode.”

“I am fine,” Severus said, his eyes never leaving Harry’s face. The child was so pale and frail looking, his hands bloody and . . . burnt? What in Merlin’s name had happened? He couldn’t possibly leave now. His son needed him. He had to stay at his side. Poppy walked past him and said softly, “He’s in good hands. I will let you know if there are any developments. Get some food, get some sleep, and come back here if you absolutely must.”

Severus felt like a zombie as he left the hospital wing. For the first time in these last few weeks, felt weak and unstable. Hs stomach growled angrily, and he decided Poppy was right to suggest he eat something, least he faints again.

Severus made it to his quarters and studied Poppy’s list before deciding on a simple chicken meal. The dinner appeared and he ate in silence, already missing Harry’s chattiness. His mind felt clear, and he thought back to how he had treated the boy over the last few weeks. He felt bad for losing his temper so often with Harry. He would have to work on that. Now that his withdrawal symptoms were being relieved, he shouldn’t be as miserable.

               Severus felt a desire for a drink, but he pushed the feeling aside. Once he finished his meal, he tried to fall asleep, but he couldn’t get his mind to shut off. Harry’s pale face and bloody hands kept reappearing in his mind. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed a drink. He needed to calm his nerves. He needed something.

Severus stood up, but before he could get very far, he looked down at his nightstand.

               The pamphlet and coin from the AA meeting were sitting out. He frowned. He was sure he had put those away. He opened the drawer and shoved the pamphlet and coin inside. A small parchment flew off the nightstand from the movement, and Severus snatched it. It was a note in Harry’s handwriting.

               I know it’s been hard but I’m proud of you, Dad. Love, Harry

               Severus’s knees felt weak and he sat on the bed. He smiled at the note, his eyes watering. The cravings were suddenly gone. Nothing else in the world mattered more than Harry now. Severus felt the unease in his blood lighten up and his mind was more focused. He relaxed. He clutched the note to his chest, a tear managing to escape. He stubbornly wiped at his eyes and pulled himself together.

               He set the note inside with the pamphlet and the coin.

               “Substitute,” Severus said, remembering the DEADS acronym. “I need a distraction.”

               Severus walked into his potions lab and quickly sketched an object on a parchment. He had no muggle equipment like he was used to, nor would they work in Hogwarts, so he would have to use a blend of magic and old-fashioned muggle techniques.

               He summoned some trunks of wood from one of the trees he knew Hagrid had cut for firewood for the castle and the half-giant’s own hut. Using the largest of the trunks as a base, he snapped his fingers and an ax appeared on his work bench. With it, he began chopping the wood swiftly and smoothly.

               He used his wand to cut the pieces into certain shapes. He found a hammer to help him nail some pieces together, a saw to adjust the size and lengths of certain pieces. He used his wand for sanding. Various tools came into play, and it was all very relaxing and more importantly, very distracting.

Hours passed, and he had not gotten one ounce of sleep when he finally declared himself finished and stepped back. He nodded at his work: a well sized desk for Harry’s room, with an upper shelf, a cubbyhole, a place for his quill and ink sets, and a working drawer with a brass handle he transfigured from one of his stirring rods. He would paint it later, maybe after Harry picked out a color.

He felt exhausted now.

He performed a time check. It nearly six in the morning. He decided he would check on Harry first. He made his way back up to the infirmary and closed the curtains around Harry’s bed.

Harry was still out, his eyes closed, and his hands bandaged.

Severus sat on the edge of Harry’s bed, brushing the boy’s fringe aside and tracing the lightning scar with a finger. Severus stared down sadly at his son.

“I told you to leave it alone,” Severus chided softly.

Harry had no response.

Severus sighed, then leaned down and kissed Harry’s forehead.

He transfigured one of the empty beds into a chair and pulled it closer to Harry’s bed. He leaned back in it and watched the boy sleep, slowly falling into slumber himself.