Matters of the heart by Hopeless Wanderer

Chapter one; Matters of the heart

"That's not a heart Harry, that's a circle." the long haired man protested, flicking his wand to erase his son's so called heart.

The small boy pouted, dropping his pencil in frustration.

"Well, it's definitely bigger than a heart!" he pointed out childishly, rubbing his chin and smacking his elbow on the kitchen table with a wince.

Severus rolled his eyes at the five year's old antics and pinched the bridge of his nose. They had been going on with this argument longer than it was certainly necessary, and if the potion master was being completely honest, he couldn't care less if Harry could really draw a heart or not, not even for his day care teacher.

"The largeness is not the point here Harry, drawing her a heart shows that you love her and appreciate her hard work to educate brats like you." the man drawled out dryly, trying to hand the red pencil back to his son.

Harry scowled, grabbing the red pencil viciously. "I can't draw a heart Daddy."

"Why not?"

"I don't like Miranda, or Susan, or even Mike and Mrs. Pallete said I had to make a card for everyone."

Severus frowned at the child's logic and tried to contain his own dry humor in order to seem like a responsible parent. Because let's be honest, no parent cares about their children's snotty, bratty classmates, and Severus could care less if Mike or Susan got a Valentine card from his son.

"Then don't make cards for them, or tell Mrs. Pallete the truth." he supplied the boy, eyeing his glittered over table with something akin to disgust and helplessness. If there was one thing Harry had liked more than drawing, it was dumping them with glitter. Hot pink ones at that.

"I can't! Everyone is supposed to do it Daddy, besides, that's not even the problem." the boy sulked and Severus sighed.

"Then what is?" he asked, trying to be as patient as possible.

"I can't draw a heart!"

"Well why don't you let me draw them for you?!" the man asked but the five year old shook his head solemnly.

"Then the others wouldn't be my Valentine! They would be yours! What's wrong with circles anyways? If it's pink then it's fine, right?"

Severus honestly couldn't imagine what was so mind wrecking about drawing a heart, it was one of the easiest shapes for a child his age, there was nothing simpler than a heart, we'll except for a circle that is. That was besides the point, because the potion master knew for a fact that his son /could/ draw one... That's what was irritating him.

"Well let's draw one and see where you're going wrong." he finally told the boy, glancing over at his watch to survey the time. Half past six, they had a little while before his son started to get cranky, and an hour before Severus' appointment with the headmaster. He just hoped Harry's project would be over before then.
Harry picked up his pencil and crouched over his parchment, his shoulders hunched possessive over his drawing as his tongue stuck out in concentration, determined to draw a flawless heart.

He rashly drew several lines and sharply connected them to each other with his flat red pencil, his lines angry, rushed... Severus could quite imagine why the boy was frustrated.

"There." his son finally said, dropping his pen on the table and flopping back in his chair, he gestured at the parchment with an angry glare.

"I can't draw them!"

"I see nothing wrong with those Harry." Aside from being viciously violent,drawn without much care, and being a little crooked, the heart was actually fine.

"They're wrong! They're all curved and uneven! I can't make them be like the other!"

"That's how you draw a heart son, of course it ought to be a little bit crooked... You're only five years old." as if trying to convince the boy, the man reaches for the paper and draws a quick, small heart, he then slid the parchment under the boy's nose, proving his point.

"See? My heart is not perfect, and neither is yours."

"You did that on purpose!" Harry accused him, sulking. Severus frowns and compares the two hearts and Harry's circles, which, unlike the hearts, are uncannily straight and drawn without a hitch, not the questions is /how/ did Harry drew those so flawlessly, yet failed to draw a simple heart.

"Is there any way for you to allow me to print out the hearts or transfigure the shape by magic?"

"That would be cheating." the boy stated adamantly and Severus sighed.

"What about duplicating the best so you wouldn't have to draw so many of them?"

"Why does it have to be a heart anyways?" the boy whined, holding his chin with the palm of his hand.

"Because that's how some people express their love." Severus explained patiently.

"By giving their hearts?" Harry traced his chest in fright and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Metaphorically." he informed the pale looking child and drew his wand.

"I don't understand, why would I give my heart to someone, but not really? It doesn't count if I trick them into believing that I gave them my heart... When I still have it."

"It doesn't quite work like that, Harry." the potion master said.

"Then how does it work? Why can't it be a circle if it's not really a heart?"

"Er... That's just the way things are Harry... The stories we were told as children." Harry's eyes lighten up immediately and a small grin replaces his petulant expression.

"What stories?! Please tell Daddy! I wanna hear!" suddenly realizing what he had gotten himself to, Severus shook his head, knowing that now, his son wouldn't stop badgering the man until he got what he wanted.

So much for being quick and sufficient, he rolled his eyes at himself.

"They're really long and some of them are too boring for you... What about you make your cards now and I will tell one of them later?" he reasoned, taking another glance at his watch, and then another back to Harry, whom had been trying to climb down from his seat.

"I want to know now! Come on Daddy, you can tell me before I take a nap! I promise I'll make the cards later." the boy grabbed him by the hand and started pulling the man to his feet. Severus complied hesitantly, not quite sure if he could manage to put the boy to sleep and still make sure he had his Valentine cards by the next day.

"First, change into your pajamas and make sure to wash your face, I don't want any glitter on your bed." he reminded the boy as the small child ran ahead into his room.

"But they're sparkly!" Harry shouted from the other room and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Harry, wash the glitter off." he ordered firmly and flicked his wrist, successfully vanishing the mess from their table, he pocketed his wand and resumed his stride to his son's room.

After another five minutes, when he had sent Harry away to wash the glitter off his face ( "yes your ears still count as your face Harry."), the young father and son settled on the bed, with Harry snuggling deep under his covers and Severus awkwardly settling his lanky legs on the child's bed.

Still, his legs were hung in the air from the knees down and the man had to grit his teeth from the ridiculous sight they must have made.

"So tell me now Daddy, and do the funny voices again... I like it when you do that." by ' funny voices' the boy probably meant the man imitating the character's voice while reading, much to Severus's shame and horror this was often done unconsciously and not by his own choice, even now that Harry was older, the man couldn't stop the act unless he was reminded by a third party.

"Alright then.... A long time ago, in a far far land next to a sea, was a kingdom. The castle was ground, and set on the highest mountain..."

"In the castle, twelve brothers and sisters lived and ruled the fair Kingdom to the best of their abilities, one day, the most beautiful goddess of the twelve found that another princess that ruled under her domain in one of the outer parts of the land had been declared the fairest and the most beautiful of all ... Eventually she got jealous... The goddess was always used to being the jealous, and wasn't keen on sharing her title..."

"What did she do then?" Harry asked excitedly.

Severus pursed his lips. "She asked her son ' Eros' to make the princess fall in love with the ugliest creature on the land, to shoot her with an arrow and to make her fall in love with someone she didn't like, and Eros, who saw no other choice tried to follow through with her orders."

Harry gasped. "What happened next?" he asked breathlessly, only with a dramatic stance that a five year old could manage.

"Well, when Eros went to the princess, instead of shooting her with his arrow he accidentally scratched himself with his cursed weapon, and so he fell in love with the first thing he saw, he fell in love with her."Harry gasped softly as a pink string flowed in the air from his Daddy's wand and intertwined with the red one, forming a heart.

Daddy continued. "He said; ' I have never seen something as beautiful and as breathtaking as you, I will love you with all my heart, we will never be apart, not even when we spar, for, I will give you all my heart, will you marry me? ' " the heart shone in the dark and Harry giggled.

" So, he and the princess got married to each other, while Eros lied to his mother, he then told the princess that she could never see his face and they could only meet when it was dark."

"But why? Didn't Mr. Eros like the princess? He couldn't see her face of it was all dark and gloomy!"

How many times did Lily and Severus meet up in the dark hallways of the dungeons? Those last few years were insanely hard on them, with the threat of the dark Lord and their final exams coming up, Lily and Severus barely got any time to meet except under the long cradled shadows of the night.

"Well, Eros didn't want his mother to find out that he liked the pretty princess."

The dark Lord would have brutalized her, tortured her, and there would have been nothing left... Lily and Severus fought so hard for a future neither got to experience. But they always found a way.

"...So they had to be really sneaky... Anyways, Eros and the princess..."

"What's her name?" Harry interrupted groggily.

"Her name's psyche, Harry."

Severus nodded his head."Alright, Eros and Psyche, lived happily, with the two of them only meeting at night and Eros lying to the goddess of beauty as time went on. That was until Psyche's two jealous sisters convinced her to betray Eros' trust, and to reveal her husband's face in the light..." the wand lit up again, and this time the heart burst into ribbons, making Harry gasp and Severus to continue.

"Psyche listened to them, thinking that maybe Eros was ashamed of his face and was scared that Psyche would leave him if she found out what he really looked like."

Severus was idly reminded of the night Lily found out he was marked, she didn't know he was for Dumbledore yet, and had only done this out of desperation... And for some reason, Severus didn't want her to.

Maybe that was why, unlike Eros and Psyche, their relationship never worked in the end. They never climbed over the betrayal like the ones in the story did... That was what made this story very heartbreaking for Severus in the first place.

Harry was the one thing he could have had either way, even though he never got Lily.

"Was Eros really ugly?" Harry wondered out loud, seemingly lost in the story. Severus chuckled.

"No, son, he was the son of the goddess of beauty. He was very beautiful indeed."

And he knew from experience, Lily was a very beautiful woman, so rare within her peers both in beauty and passion, it was only natural for Harry to grow into a handsome man as well. He was very lucky to have Lily as his mother.

And as the potion master grudgingly admitted.... James Potter as his father.

"Then why did Psyche listen to her sisters?" Harry asked innocently.

"Because she was curious to know the unknown, and that's not always good Harry. Anyways... When Psyche found out who Eros truly was, Eros ran away, wounded and breaking his wing, and Psyche was left all alone... She wandered out of the city, into the woods, looking for Eros, but she couldn't find him no matter how hard she looked."

"What did she do next Daddy? Did she find Eros?"

Severus narrowed his eyes. How long did it take for Lily to find him? How long did it took for him in return to reach back to her and apologize? Did it even matter in the end? She still had James by then. And he had no one.

"We'll get to that." he waved Harry off and heaved a sigh, hurrying to get on with the story and wave off his own thoughts. "Sometime later, Psyche went to the goddess out of desperation, and asked for her help..."

" The goddess said ' Well Well, here's the angel, finally showing, proving to us, how the mighty have fallen! If you want to find your love, you will have to sort out these mush, mixed wheat, barley, poppyseed, chickpeas, and beans, before dawn. And we all know that a mere mortal like you can't possibly even think, herself a fit, as glorious as me.' "

Severus waved his wrist, conjuring a blinding green light in the middle of the bed, and sorted it into a pulsing ball, threatening to take over the pink string of the heart.

"She leaves then, knowing that the mortal, wouldn't be able to sort out those pile by morning even if she had help. But she was wrong, a kind ant took pity on psyche and he and his friends helped psyche sort out the piles by dawn... The goddess was furious when she sees that psyche had succeeded and assigns her to another task." the green light grew dimmer. The pink string shone lighter.

"The goddess was so evil!" his son exclaimed and Severus smiled slyly.

"Hmm. I think she was just jealous.... People do bad things when they're jealous Harry."

"She assigned psyche to fetch the golden wool for her, which is collected from a very violent sheep that was also known as the sun..."

"Can we name our puppy ' sunshine'? When we got one, I mean?" Harry interrupted out of nowhere, yawning widely.

"Yes Harry, he could be sunshine." he assured the boy and moved on with the tale.

"...Psyche who's losing her hope, trudged her way to the sheep, but was saved again by a nymph ( they're sort of like merepeople, Harry.) she tells her how to retrieve the wool, and she returns to the goddess, golden wool in hand." he flicked his wand, drawing a golden, sparkling circle with the tip of his wand, and conjoining it with the small green light.

His child struggled to keep his drooping eyes open, and snuggled further in Severus' torso and his blanket. Severus tightened his hold around the boy, no longer caring about the time or his appointment with the headmaster anymore.

"Psyche_iiee is really smart Daddy." Harry mumbled happily and Severus smirked.

"It's psyche, Harry. It's like 'si' in sight and 'ke' in like."

"Oh."

"The goddess went mad, she wrenched the wool out of her hands, and then punished psyche by giving her, her final task...."

Xx

"And then they finally were immortal and kissed and lived happily ever after!" Harry finally chirped, engulfed by the loud applauds of his class and his teacher's approving glance.

"That was really interesting Harry, did you read the story book by yourself?"

"No, Daddy did. He also told me it's fine to draw circles instead of hearts because I thing they're prettier."

The small boy explained as he handed the circle shaped cards among his peers, a bright smile on his face.

Maybe valentine wasn't so bad after all.