Blood by The Lord of Chaos

"You have the potion?" he asked Pettigrew. It was more of a statement than a question. There should be no question. He had given the rat more than enough time. He had waited long enough.

"I… I have something better," Pettigrew said. "The boy is going to be outside the castle wards tomorrow. They're letting the students go to Hogsmeade since Beckett is dead."

"Dead." Fenrir said. That was news to him. That would mean more Aurors looking for him. Of course no one would guess that he was living in the forests around Hogwarts. That he had bypassed their own wards.

"They're letting Potter go as well?" Fenrir asked. "Or did you just assume." Would Dumbledore let the boy out of his grasp and into Fenrir's paws?

"He's told his friends they were letting him go," Pettigrew hastily assured. "He's expected to stay in the town proper, but he'll be there. He'll be surrounded by Aurors, but with even a small distraction you could grab him and portkey away."

"Be here tomorrow night," Fenrir said gruffly.

"W-what?" Pettigrew asked.

"If that boy is not in Hogsmeade," Fenrir said darkly, "I will need to give you further instructions. But Pettigrew, you should best hope the boy is there tomorrow."

"He will be," Pettigrew said.

Fenrir left.

Peter scurried back to the castle, keeping to the taller grassy areas where he could hopefully avoid being spotted by an owl. The grounds were not a nice place to be when you were a rat; unless you had fearsome creatures of your own with you.
Yet tomorrow. Tomorrow, if everything went right, then he would be done with Greyback, done with shadowy meetings in the forest, and back to living his dull life in the castle. How had he ever gotten tired his peaceful life as the boy's pet? If he had only stayed hidden… This was a nightmare.

Tomorrow though, it would all be over tomorrow. Greyback would try to grab Potter. Potter's anti-portkey necklace would prevent his escape, and Greyback would be caught by the Aurors and kissed, or killed on sight. It would be best if he were killed. But either way, Peter wouldn't have to worry about Greyback anymore.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Hogsmeade'll cheer you up mate," Ron said as they ate breakfast. "We'll focus on staying out of the dormitory today, and not skipping meals."

Couldn't a guy shut himself up for one day without people acting like he was sliding off the deep end?

"You really shouldn't be going to Hogsmeade," Hermione said, and Harry had long since lost count of how many times she had said it since the visit had been announced.

"Can we maybe focus on positive things just this once?" Ron asked, annoyed. "After yesterday, Harry deserves a day in Hogsmeade. It'll be a Snape free day."

"Well someone has to think about these thing," Hermione said scathingly. "Since none of the professors are." She shot a hostile glance at the head table.

"If Professor Dumbledore thinks it's safe then we shouldn't have to worry," Ron said.

"Professor Dumbledore thinks a lot of things are safe," Hermione said.

Harry largely spent the conversation moving food around his plate.

"Oh look Harry," Ron said. "Hedwig's got something for you."

Harry looked up and was glad to see his snowy owl flying towards him. She dropped a small parcel in front of him and perched on his shoulder.

"Did you order something?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," Harry said and placed the parcel in his book bag and stroked Hedwig's feathers. "I'll explain when we're alone."

Harry went back to staring at his plate after Hedwig took off for the owlery.

"Harry," Hermione said. "If you give it some time…"

"Life isn't some fairy tale Hermione," Harry said bitterly. "You don't always get a happy ending. I wasn't meant to have parents and that's that. I told you before I could do just fine on my own."

"Well you're welcome at my place Harry," Ron said. "We should talk to my parents about it soon, we can get Bill over to visit and look at the wards. You'll be safe as gold at Gringotts this summer."

Harry gave Ron a smile and Hermione sighed sadly before shooting another glare at the head table.

They walked out together with the other students later, on their way to Hogsmeade. Harry rather wished he could just take a day to walk around the village and explore with his friends. They got into a carriage and once it started moving Ron turned to Harry.

"So what's with this secret package you got?" Ron asked.

There was a pop and suddenly Professor Snape was stooping in the carriage.

"It's a portkey beacon," Harry said as Ron yelped.

"What are you doing here," Ron said indignantly, shooting the professor a glare as the man sat on the opposite bench.

"I'm not going to Hogsmeade Ron," Harry said. "Professor Snape's going to impersonate me and try to draw out Greyback."

"Snape is!?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Mr. Weasley," Professor Snape said imperiously. "Do stop shouting."

"Is that safe?" Hermione asked. "What about the students?"

"Measures have been taken to ensure everyone's safety," Professor Snape said. "We do not have much time. I need a hair Mr. Potter."

Harry didn't say anything, he just reached up and yanked out a few strands that he quickly passed over to the man. Professor Snape reached into his cloak and pulled out a vial of familiar potion. Harry noticed then that Professor Snape was dressed in student robes, with a Gryffindor tie. The man put the hairs into the vial before downing the potion. Harry watched with morbid fascination as Professor Snape became his double. A few waves of his wand resized his clothing.

"Here is your portkey; you'll need to give me your anti-portkey charm." Professor Snape said, holding out a ruffled quill. "We're going to hit the Hogwarts gates in a moment and I don't want you outside the wards so activate that now, I'll explain the plan to your friends, and Mr. Potter…" Professor Snape eyed Ron and Hermione. "I would very much like to discuss what we went over yesterday when I return. The activation code is 'taurus', go now."

Harry blanched at the prospect of a future discussion but nodded, making the exchange. He wanted to be away from the professor quickly, and he had no desire to get anywhere near the castle gates and the dementors that guarded them. He said the word, and disappeared.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Severus watched Harry disappear and settled back into the carriage seat secure in the knowledge that the boy was safe. There had been much he had wanted to say but there hadn't been the time. He eyed Weasley and Granger now that they were alone. Weasley had a clearly hostile look on his face and Granger looked like she had misgivings to say the least.

"There is a carefully laid plan afoot, and loath as I am to involve students, the two of you are tangentially involved," Severus said. "You need to listen carefully and do exactly as I say."

"Greyback's never going to fall for this," Weasley said. "You may look like Harry, but you'll never fool anyone."

"He does have a point Professor," Granger said. "Everything from your posture to the way you speak is different. If Greyback spent any time watching Harry over the summer, he'll spot the difference."

Severus held up a hand to silence their objections and he sank into his own mind, pulling up the mask he had prepared. His shoulders hunched in, he sank down into his seat and he started fidgeting slightly as he looked nervously between Ron and Hermione.

"Look Ron," he said tentatively. "I know things have been crazy lately, and this is like, really bad timing for everything, but you need to trust that I know what I'm doing here. The important thing here is catching Greyback. I can't let him get away again. He's hurt too many people and if I can do something about it then I will, but I'm going to need your help." He turned to Hermione. "Both of your help."

Severus let the mask slip and he sat up straight in his seat as Weasley gave him a wide eyed look and the gears behind Grangers eyes started turning.

"Is that a spell professor?" Granger asked. "Or are you really…"

"The mental arts allow me to simulate another person within my own mind," Severus said. "Or rather they allow me to simulate another person as I perceive them. Had a Legilimens looked into my mind a moment ago they would have believed that I was Harry Potter because in the forefront of my mind, I believed I was Harry Potter. Now enough of this, are you prepared to listen?"

The Weasley boy shrugged and Granger nodded.

"Your part of the plan is simple," Severus said. "You, Miss Granger, will show excitement as soon as we arrive, and you will walk off towards Scrivner's Emporium as though you expect the two of us to follow you. Scrivner's is the closest store on your right when you get out of the carriage. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Granger said. "But why…"

Severus cut her off.

"Mister Weasley, you and I will have a verbal spat at the end of which I will walk off angrily towards the northern edge of the town but will curve towards the eastern edge. You will head towards Miss Granger. Do you understand."

Weasley nodded.

"Miss Granger, you will notice my absence and insist on looking for me. You will go in the direction Mr. Weasley saw me initially go in. You will search as though you assume that I have stayed in the center of town around the popular shops. You will not go into the outskirts of the town. You will not go towards the eastern edge. You will not reveal to anyone this ruse. Do I make myself clear?" he asked the both of them.

"Yes professor," Granger said while Weasley just nodded again.

"What are we fighting about?" Ron asked.

"Mr. Potter has made no secret that something has been bothering him," Severus said, and Weasley sent him a withering glare. "As I exit the carriage a few moments after Miss Grangers exits, I will say loudly that it is none of your business. The presumption here being that you had been prying into what has been upsetting Mr. Potter. You will yell back that I should just tell you what's wrong and that it probably isn't even a big deal. I will insult you, you will insult me, I will leave.

"Are there any questions?" asked Severus.

"Yeah, I've got a question," Weasley said. "What have you got against Harry?"

"Ron!" Granger scolded. "That's not going to help."

Severus internally groaned. He had wondered if Harry had told everything to his friends. For good measure he started mildly occluding, if only since losing his temper would make it more difficult later to organize his thoughts.

"Help?" Weasley asked. "What's there to help? He's made up his mind. Harry's the one who needs our help right now. Help getting over this mess." The boy shot Severus a glare when he said the word 'mess.' "And you know what, we helped cause this. Harry was right to give it time, he'd have realized it was a no-go eventually. We shouldn't have pushed him into this."

"Enough," Severus said. "The matter is not as it appears. There was a misunderstanding last night that I will address. I do not require your input on the matter."

"A misunderstanding? Was it two years of misunderstandings?" Weasley asked. "A bloody misunderstanding! A kid tells you you're his father and what? You accidentally told him to get lost?"

"I did not get a chance to tell him anything," Severus said, exasperated. "And that is all you need to know about the matter. I have no intention of repudiating him."

"Are you sure?" Granger asked timidly. "You can't go back and forth. If you change your mind later, it will really hurt him."

"Don't give him ideas, Hermione," Weasley said.

"I'm not giving him ideas," Granger said, turning back to Severus. "Harry's not stupid. Maybe you didn't say anything horrible to him, but if he could tell that you weren't exactly thrilled about being his father…"

"I am not averse to being his father, I am sure," Severus said. "And I certainly have no intention of hurting him."

"Then you need to make sure he knows that," Weasley said. "Or else he's always going to be waiting to see what's on the other side of the tarot card."

Severus sighed. A glance out the window showed that they were passing through the outskirts of the town.

"Are the both of you clear on the plan?" Severus asked.

"Yes Professor," Granger said as Weasley nodded.

Severus immersed himself in his mind and emerged as Harry Potter.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Lemon drop Harry?" the Headmaster offered as Harry picked up his teacup.

"No thank you, sir," Harry said. He of course couldn't be seen roaming the castle when he was very publicly supposed to be in Hogsmeade so he was taking up residence in the Headmaster's office where he had been offered leave to peruse the various bookshelves for entertainment. This would probably have been an exceptionally interesting offer any other time, but Harry would much rather just hole up in his dorm room at the moment. It wasn't as though Seamus, Dean, or Neville would be anywhere other than Hogsmeade at the moment or reporting to Greyback besides.

"I have been curious to know if our conversation from last week led anywhere," the headmaster said after Harry had had some time to with his tea. This certainly wasn't a topic Harry wanted to discuss.

"I suppose it has professor," Harry said ponderously. "I've needed to tell you something for a while and I guess this is probably the best time. I…" Harry remembered Ron's words from earlier in the term. "The Dursleys and I've never gotten on and they were a bit worse than usual this summer. When they found out I had a dark wizard after me they… well they kicked me out of the house. I didn't run away. I'm going to need someplace safe to stay this summer if they don't catch Greyback today. Or, you know, just a place to stay if they do."

Harry looked up at the headmaster and saw a shrewd but compassionate look on the man's face, before that was smoothed over leaving nothing but concern.

"I am sorry that that happened, Harry. Did you have any ideas on where you might stay?" the headmaster asked.

"Well I was thinking I could just stay at the school over the summer," Harry said, looking mostly at his tea. "I'd be plenty safe here. Though if they do catch Greyback, I was hoping I could stay with Ron's family again. He has offered, though I would need to ask his parents. Hermione's offered her place too. I guess I could also stay at the Leakey Cauldron again if their folks won't go for it."

"I see," the headmaster said, and Harry looked up to gauge what the man thought of those options but found that he could not tell. "I must say, within the wards upon Privet Drive, you are far safer from Fenrir Greyback there than you are even here at Hogwarts. It may be that an attempt to convince your relatives to take you back would be the best course."

Harry took a fortifying breath and shook his head no even as he dropped his gaze to make a study of his own lap.

"I can't go back, Sir," Harry said. "They don't want me, they never have. I… I can't go back. I just can't."

"I will have to consider this matter carefully Harry," the headmaster said. "But I will endeavor to find for you the best solution."

Harry wondered how the headmaster would define the 'best' solution.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

As Harry perused the bookshelves, Albus ordered his thoughts. Yet another conversation that did not go as he had thought it should.

In none of his foreseen futures had this been an issue. Harry had never confided his homelessness. In all scenarios down this path, Fenrir Greyback was either dead, captured, or had absconded with Harry. In the variants of the first two cases, Harry had been able to convince his relatives to take him back on his own.

Yet the headmaster had been prepared to deal with a Harry Potter who had asked to live with Severus, now that he knew of Harry's heritage. He had even started working out a fashion to rework the blood wards to retie them to Severus through his blood resonance with Harry, and Harry's with Lily. Not as effective, but still very potent potentially.

It wasn't ideal, it was in fact a massive divergence, but he had to adjust as he was able, lest he completely lose control. He could still guide events to stay along similar pathways and minimize contamination while keeping Harry within the blood wards. He had thought he understood where Harry's and Severus's relationship had been headed, but Harry had not mentioned the man, and considering his rather morose demeanor, Albus thought that something had gone wrong with the boy's plan to tell Severus the day prior.

Though it saddened him, this was for the best. With a little work he could more easily keep things on track. He would convince Harry to go back to the Dursleys. Harry would discontinue his potions activities and Albus would see affairs within the school running as smoothly as they were running without. Everything and everyone moving precisely and predictably towards Voldemort's demise.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

He walked the outskirts of the town, the very picture of an angry morose teenage boy. Severus kept watch over the simulation running in his mind; the angry miserable boy who just wanted to be alone. That was what controlled his body then, not Severus. Severus could only watch now.

He took comfort from his inability to spot the Aurors who he knew surrounded him. At least they could hide worth a damn. He had heard rumor that Alastor Moody had come out of retirement to help with the hunt and he wondered if the mad Auror was out there as well. The part of him that was Severus kept alert for all movement while the other part was barely aware of what was two feet in front of him. He idly noticed the cat that was Minerva walking along the top of a fence in front of him. He didn't know why she had insisted on taking part. It wasn't as though her Gryffindors didn't give her enough trouble.

Keeping alert was, however, actually difficult at the moment, though his life could depend on it. The fact of the matter was that splitting his mind thusly was incredibly taxing, and factoring in the revelation of the prior afternoon, Severus found he had a hard time keeping his head in the moment. It didn't help that all the boy was thinking about was the afternoon prior himself.

If he hadn't seen numerous examples of parents who should not have kids, he might have fooled himself into thinking that there was no possible way someone such as himself could possibly have a son.

Yet it did seem that the fact of the matter was that he was a father. Harry was his son, his and Lily's… and James Potter's… Where it that that was the only wrinkle he thought he could see the way forward, but it was not so simple. The first two years of Harry's life at Hogwarts was not even the worst of it. Harry didn't even know the worst of it. Should he tell him? Could he?

He could not fathom what Lily had been thinking when she had written that letter. He couldn't imagine she had wanted him to be any sort of father to Harry, but Severus knew that he was the one who had destroyed her family. Whatever Albus's platitudes, Lily was not there to forgive him, and he could not do so for either of them.

Lily was gone though, James Potter was gone, Severus remained, but what was there to do with Harry? Why was he seeking out a relationship with Severus? He did not remember Petunia fondly, but she and her husband had been the boy's family since he was fifteen months old. They were his parents. What could have possessed the boy to feel the need to connect with Severus, of all people, when he had a family already?

Severus was brought out of his musings when he saw a man approaching. It didn't look like Greyback, but Greyback hadn't looked like Greyback the last time he had attacked Harry. The man spotted him and paused, giving him a feral grin that revealed sharpened teeth. In a heartbeat the man was sprinting towards him. Severus dropped the simulation and took control of his body, quickly drawing his wand. It was pointless however, a good dozen spells struck the man who fell to the ground stunned, petrified, bound, and for some reason glowing. A good many Aurors dropped illusions and came out of hiding, several rushing past Severus to approach their prisoner.

It was almost anticlimactic. Severus put his wand away as an Auror trio portkeyed away with Greyback. The rest of the Auror's appeared to be in good cheer. Two of the five escapees were now taken care of, and within a few days of one another too.

"Severus!" Minerva's warning cry rang out.

Suddenly he was grabbed from behind. Severus struggled, but Harry's diminutive body was powerless against the arms that encased him. A large dirty hand covered his mouth.

"Nice try Potter," a gruff voice said in his ear. "But then, your not Potter are you? Tell him he's mine, tell him I'm still coming for him. If you can."

A sharp pain erupted just below his bottom rib and he felt his diaphragm spasm and freeze as it was pierced. The hands disappeared and he barely registered the sharp crack behind him as he fell to the ground. He could barely breath as he tried to staunch the flow of blood gushing from his chest with one hand and draw his wand with the other. He could barely speak as he attempted to close the wound, the spell would not form. New hands came; removing his own. A new wand hovered over him as a new voice started incanting. Severus did his best to stay alert, but eventually resigned himself to waking up in the infirmary.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

'Runes of Peace' was actually a very interesting book, Harry reflected as he sat in the plush armchair that sat by the headmaster's fireplace. Most of it went over his head, but it still managed to be very engaging. The headmaster had been going through a mountain of paperwork and correspondence for the past hour while Harry had been thumbing through several interesting books.

Hermione would probably be jealous when she found out about how Harry had spent his morning. Though that squared, since Harry was jealous that she was able to go to Hogsmeade. Of course, if this whole thing worked out, Greyback could be caught at any moment and then perhaps he could go spend the afternoon in the magical village. He was due for something good, wasn't he? Hadn't the universe taken enough?

Harry shook off that thought. He was forgetting it. He was forgetting all of it. He hadn't lost anything, because he hadn't anything to lose. Professor Snape wasn't really his father, he had never truly been free from the Dursleys, and fairy tales were just tall tales. He hadn't lost a father, he hadn't lost his freedom, he had just been telling himself stories, fantasies really, and now he had been brought back to reality. He was lucky to have cut it off when he had, really. Professor Snape had done him a favor and ripped the bandaid off in one go.

"Headmaster! Severus has been injured, I've brought him to the infirmary," Professor McGonagall's voice said urgently.

Harry's head whipped up from the headmaster's book to catch a silvery ethereal cat disappear from the headmaster's desk.

"Professor Snape?" Harry said, shocked. He felt his stomach coil up as his breath caught in his throat. The next moment he was out of the chair and racing down the spiral staircase. He heard the headmaster call after him, but he didn't stop. He ran through the corridor and dove through walls, taking every shortcut he knew to get to the infirmary.

He arrived out of breath and skidded to a halt in the entrance. He saw Madame Pomfrey incanting over Harry's own doppelgänger, which was prone and very still while Professor McGonagall was retrieving potions from shelves. He knew better than to interrupt the matron, but he still asked, "Is he going to be alright?"

Madame Pomfrey didn't stop what she was doing, or even look up, but Professor McGonagall gave him a very curt, "He will be fine, Mr. Potter, leave us be to treat him," before continuing with what she was doing.

Suddenly Professor Snape's body arched up and he gave several short gasping breaths, as though he could not draw air in properly. Harry took in the blood that was smeared on the white linen around the man's chest. Madame Pomfrey forced a potion down Professor Snape's throat after he had taken a few more breaths, after which his breathing became deeper, though still ragged.

Professor McGonagall noticed that Harry was still there. "This isn't quidditch Mr. Potter," she said tersely. "We do not need an audience."

"But will he be alright?" Harry asked, very worried and still out of breath.

"Yes," Professor McGonagall said. "Now off with you."

Harry cast a wary glance at Professor Snape, who looked far from being alright, but nodded his head and left the infirmary. He didn't go far, turning the corner, he slumped down and focused on catching his own breath. Drawing his knees up to his body, he leaned his head against them and closed his eyes. The blood was everywhere. He couldn't stop himself from seeing it. He felt as though he were covered in it. He couldn't stop hearing how Professor Snape had gasped for breath.

Worry brewed inside of him even as shame and anger tried to stamp it out. He shouldn't be worried, he told himself. He shouldn't feel like this. The blood wasn't on his own hands. Not this time. He reminded himself that Professor Snape wasn't his father; he wasn't anything to him. There was no reason to be worried about him, no reason to care. There never had been. But he was worried; he was worried for the same reason he had felt hurt and rejected the night before. He did care. A part of him still wanted that fantasy. A part of him still wanted that happily ever after.

Maybe it wasn't even so hard to see why. There had always been that secret squashed hope, when he was living with the Dursleys. Some long-lost relative would come and take custody of him and love him. His parents weren't really dead, they were just in comas, and they woke up. He was adopted like Little Orphan Annie. Heck, he'd even daydreamed about that older kid who had once told Dudley's gang to leave Harry alone inviting him to come stay at his place. So when an actual biological father had come into the picture, even if it was Snape, why wouldn't he hope?

The worst part; the worst part was that he had started to really like spending time with the professor. He had liked thinking of himself living with the man even when he had thought that it could never happen. He'd started to really like Professor Snape and that hadn't just stopped the night prior. There was a reason he felt sick at the thought of Professor Snape bleeding out in the Hospital Wing, struggling to breathe. Harry drew in his own ragged breath and held it before letting it out as calmly as he could.

"Are you alright?" a young voice asked.

Harry looked up to see that a first or second year Hufflepuff had stopped in front of him. Harry took a moment to be annoyed with himself for being so oblivious as to not hear someone coming down the hall.

"Yeah," Harry said, embarrassed. "I'm alright, I guess. Just, thought I'd sit down here for a moment."

"Wanna sugar quill?" the Hufflepuff asked.

"A sugar quill?" Harry asked.

"Make you feel better," the Hufflepuff said.

"I'm alright," Harry said. "Really. What are you doing up here? Do you need the infirmary?"

"My feet got hexed," the Hufflepuff said, nodding down to bare feet, poking out from under robes that were a little bit too long. Harry noticed that the feet appeared to be about twice as big as normal feet. It explained how he hadn't heard the click clack of shoes down the corridor.

"Did you try finite?" Harry asked.

The Hufflepuff nodded.

"Well the infirmary's not really open for business right now, how about a professor," Harry said. "Professor Lupin's office is near here. Can you walk alright?"

He got another nod. "I've never been to Professor Lupin's office though."

"I know the way," Harry said and took a deep breath before he got up.

"Were you waiting for the infirmary though," the Hufflepuff asked.

"Sort of," Harry said. "Not really. Come on."

"Is Professor Lupin going to ask questions?" the Hufflepuff asked. "Devon says Madame Pomfrey doesn't ask too many questions."

"I don't know, but he seems alright," said Harry, though he wasn't sure how he felt about endorsing a professor to a student, especially a defense professor.

"You know this isn't how it was supposed to work," the Hufflepuff said. "I was supposed to be nice to you."

"You were nice to me," Harry said. "And who's keeping track. Hufflepuff doesn't really have a good deed quota, do they? I thought that that was a joke."

"It's not really a quota," the Hufflepuff said, as though this was something Hufflepuff's often had to address. "But that's besides the point. You helped me on the train so I wanted to help you ‘cause you looked sad, I just didn't have any chocolate. Was it the sugar quill? You would have liked a chocolate frog I bet. I finished all my chocolate weeks ago. I asked my brother to bring me some from town but it's fifty fifty if he will now."

Harry's eyebrows shot up realizing who he was talking to.

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. Your hair was a lot shorter on the train," Harry said. "Justin, right?"

"Justin's my brother. I'm Sam. Sam Eldrich. My dad makes me keep my hair short, but I like it like this," the Hufflepuff said. "Justin keeps saying he's going to write dad though."

"Is this the same Justin who told you you were going to be tested on spells at the sorting?" Harry asked.

A nod.

"I don't suppose Justin hexed your feet?" Harry asked.

A shrug.

Silence.

"He caught me being… goofy, and he said that I wasn't acting like a 'proper wizard,' and that's why I was in Hufflepuff and not a good house. He's always trying to act all grown up and like a 'proper wizard', but he's just mean."

"What house is he in?" Harry asked frowning.

"Ravenclaw," Sam said.

"Well Ravenclaw doesn't even have the smartest student in the school, so I don't know what their claim to fame is," Harry said. "Hufflepuff's a proper house."

Harry thought that might have been the nicest thing he'd ever had occasion to say about Hufflepuff House.

"It is," Sam nodded sagely.

"So did Justin hex you for being goofy?" Harry asked, wondering why an upperclassman would take offense to a first year acting childishly.

"No, he'd been saying he was going to write dad about me to get me in trouble, so I told him I was going to tell everyone he'd had lightning bold underwear till he was ready to come to Hogwarts," Sam said. "Then he hexed me, but it's alright, because I kicked him with my giant feet. I was hoping it would wear off, but it's been a while."

"Lightning bolt underwear?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, you know," Sam said, gesturing towards Harry's forehead.

"Wait," Harry said, scandalized. "They've got my scar on underwear."

"Well yeah," Sam said. "It's like that super fellow. A muggle boy told me about him when I saw his at the community pool. With the big red ess. You grew up with muggles didn't you?"

"Superman," Harry said nodding.

"Yeah, him," Sam said. "They've got his ess on underwear."

Harry remembered being jealous of Dudley for having Superman underwear when they’d been little. Though he wasn’t Superman; he had thought having books about himself was weird enough. His scar wasn't a symbol, it was just… his scar. It didn’t belong on underwear.

"Do you think he's a wizard?" Sam asked, not noticing Harrys discomfort. "Or do you suppose he really is from another planet. I bet he just says he's from another planet to get around the Statute of Secrecy, that boy said he could fly, but I bet he has an invisible broomstick."

"Who? Superman?" Harry asked, bewildered. "He's just a story. He's not real." Harry could forget sometimes just how much the wizarding world could be ignorant of the muggle world."

"Really?" Sam asked. "Oh, I guess that makes sense. Devon kept laughing when I was telling Nichole about him."

They arrived at Professor Lupin's office. Sam looked hesitant.

"He doesn't bite," Harry said. "At least I don't think he does. If he asks questions you can just say you made a mistake practicing charms. I'll go in with you."

Sam knocked on the door, and the two of them entered the office.

"Harry," Professor Lupin said, clearly surprised. "And company, what can I do for you."

"I messed up my charms, Professor," Sam piped up, sticking out one large foot. "My feet are ginormous."

"So you'll need shoes twice as big," Professor Lupin said with a straight face. "It's a simple engorgement charm; did you bring them with you?"

"No, no, no," Sam said urgently. "I need my feet shrunk. You can fix them can't you."

"Oh, you want your feet smaller," Professor Lupin said. "Yes, I suppose I can do that as well. Not as easy as making shoes fit, but I think I can manage. Kip on over here and have a seat." Professor Lupin patted the top of his desk.

Sam walked over and hopped up onto the desk.

Professor Lupin prodded Sam's feet with his wand a couple of times.

"A charms mishap you said?" Professor Lupin asked.

"Mmmhmm," Sam replied.

"Well let’s see," Professor Lupin said. He tapped Sam on the top of his head with his wand and said, "Finitae Pedésaltus."

Sam's feet promptly shrunk to what Harry assumed was their original size. Sam gave a small sigh of relief.

"That's odd," Professor Lupin said. "It seems that all you needed was the counter for the foot engorgement hex. What charm did you say you were practicing when you did this?"

"Ummm… I can't remember," Sam said, doing a good show of putting some thought into the matter.

"Oh well," Professor Lupin said. "Do be more careful in the future then. Enjoy your Sunday."

"Thanks Professor," Sam said, heading for the door.

"That'll be five points to you Mr. Potter for helping out," Professor Lupin said. "And just a moment of your time if you don't mind.

Sam turned around at the door and waved to Harry goodbye. Harry waved back and got a loud "thanks," as Sam left.

Harry wished that Sam had stayed. He had learned early on with the Dursleys that it was dangerous to be alone with people. The Dursleys had always been more vicious without an audience, even if that audience was one another. It was as though they didn't want each other to see them at their most horrible. He had always been hurt worst when he was alone with Uncle Vernon. It was a lesson he had learned time and again. He was nervous to be alone with people, adults especially.

Harry thought that Professor Dumbledore was the only adult he was actually comfortable being alone with. There was something about him that was very disarming. Harry had thought that he could feel that way with Professor Snape, maybe. Professor Lupin though, he was really nice, and he had been friends with his father, but Harry couldn't help but be wary of the relative stranger.

Harry turned towards Professor Lupin who smiled and said, "I think we can start lessons on the Patronus Charm soon. I do think I've found a proper study aide."

"Oh, that's good professor," Harry said, both relieved and anxious at the same time. "When can we start?"

"Well I suppose that will be mostly up to you," Professor Lupin said. "I understand your schedule can be a bit hectic these days."

That gave Harry pause since he did in fact have very little time in his schedule if he wanted to get his homework done. Although, what was he going to do about being Snape's potions assistant? Would the man be angry if he gave that up? Or, more likely, the man would probably be happy to spend less awkward time around him. Or was he even really going to be alright. There had been so much blood.

"I'll have to work that out professor," Harry said, stressed now to be thinking about the professor once more. "I'll get back to you."

"Take your time," Professor Lupin said. "I seem to have more essays to grade right now than I remember assigning."

"Well you could always stop assigning essays for a while, professor," Harry said, forcing a bit of a smile. "If they've gotten to be too much."

"Ah, but then I wouldn't get to see every which way a student can fit a quidditch analogy into an essay about vampires," Professor Lupin said.

"Oh, I could always fit a few more in if you'd like professor," Harry said.

"With you, Mr. Potter, I don't think one could fit any more into an essay," Professor Lupin said. "No I don't think it would be possible. Now, I must say, I was under the impression that you would be in the Headmaster's office this morning, or is that harebrained scheme of theirs already over?"

"Professor Snape's in the Hospital Wing," Harry said, looking down and trying not to sound upset. "I don't know what happened."

"I see," Professor Lupin said, looking worried. "Will he be alright?"

Harry shrugged. "Professor McGonagall said he would be, but I don't know. It looked bad."

"Was there any other news?" Professor Lupin asked.

Harry shook his head. "I don't know if they caught Greyback or anything. I hope they did. I really really do. I hope they put a stop to him."

In spite of everything, this was the first time Harry could recall feeling anger towards Greyback. He had felt fear, terror really, at times. He had felt sorrow and horror when he had thought of what Greyback had done to Ms. Adler. But for some reason he had never really been angry. Greyback was a monster, what use was it being angry with a monster. They couldn't be anything but monsters. But he was angry now. He really, really hoped that the Aurors had put a stop to Greyback.

"Well, I suppose we shall have to hope for the best then," Professor Lupin said.

Harry nodded.

"I didn't realize you knew about the Greyback thing," Harry said. "I thought it was supposed to be hushed up."

"It is," Professor Lupin said. "The headmaster consulted me for the plan though. He wanted to know what Greyback was likely to think."

"Because you're an expert on Greyback?" Harry said.

Professor Lupin nodded.

"Because he killed Mr. Black?" Harry asked delicately.

Professor Lupin shook his head. "I had made a study of him during the war," he said. "He was very active back then, since before the war really."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Well he's not an average werewolf now, is he?" Professor Lupin said. "Contrary to popular belief and in accordance with all records, most people with lycanthropy attempt to lead quiet lives, and try very hard to never bite anyone. Fenrir wanted to start a movement, he wanted the world over to be either werewolves or prey. He was convinced that they would thank him for it too. He was able to gather a few followers, people who had grown embittered being marginalized in society and he started a colony."

"They were always on the move," he went on. "They would kidnap children, magical and muggle alike. He thought he could raise them to be like him, more animal at heart than man. He had always been somewhat feral, since before he was bitten. He is the only werewolf I know of who sought out lycanthropy."

"He got bitten on purpose?" Harry asked, aghast.

Professor Lupin nodded. "He kidnapped a young woman who had lycanthropy, put her in a cage, and on the night of the full moon stuck his arm through the bars to receive the bite."

Professor Lupin paused to let that sink in.

"Many people have used him to highlight their fears of all werewolves, but he is very much the same man he was before he was bitten," Professor Lupin said. "He was expelled from this school for mauling one of his classmates. He did it for sport, I think. He has always relished in the animal side that I think we all have, that we abandoned millennia ago. He is highly intelligent, but at his heart, he embraced the mythos surrounding pack animals from a very early age and he wants the rest of the world to either be a part of his pack, or prey for it."

"What did you tell Professor Dumbledore when he asked you about the plan?" Harry asked.

"I asked him, if he were an outside observer, would he expect Dumbledore to allow you out of the castle just because Beckett was dead," Professor Lupin said. "I told him that Greyback may seem to be detached from reality, but he is very in tune with what goes on around him. I didn't think he would fall for this one."

"So why did they go through with it?" Harry asked bitterly.

"I suppose they thought even a small chance was worth the risk," Professor Lupin said. "Though I do believe they miscalculated that risk, in hindsight. I must say, a great many would say any risk was worth the chance to catch Greyback once more."

"Catch him," Harry said, upset. "What's the point? So he can escape again? So he can kill again?"

"Would you kill him yourself?" Professor Lupin asked gravely.

"What?" Harry asked.

"If not captured, then killed," Professor Lupin said. "Are you volunteering?"

"That's… That's not what I meant," Harry said

Professor Lupin looked at him. "Okay," he said.

"That's not…" Harry was frustrated. "I'm just… He kills for fun. When he killed Ms. Adler…He said, 'let's have some fun,' and he smiled like he… like he got off on what he was going to do to her… What he did do to her. There was blood everywhere, and I keep seeing it. I don't have to get close to a dementor to see it. I can't un-see it. He did that to her for fun and I'm drowning in it. Now he's hurt Professor Snape, he was covered in blood, and he's like the only…"

Harry had to take a couple of deep breaths before he could go on.

"Should I feel bad?" he asked. "For thinking Greyback shouldn't exist?"

"Of course not," Professor Lupin said. "I myself have often wished that he had never existed. I've thought that he is too dangerous to exist. Yet it is a great burden to kill another. Remember that the next time you think an Auror should just kill someone rather than capture them. Remember that and ask yourself if you would place that burden on them."

Harry made a study of his shoes.

"Who's Ms. Adler, Harry?" Professor Lupin asked.

"What?" Harry asked, looking up.

"You said Greyback killed her," Remus said. "I hadn't heard about that. I was wondering who she was."

"I don't even know her first name," Harry said sadly. "She just lived in my neighborhood, you know? When Greyback found me, back in Little Whinging, he chased me for a bit before he caught me. He caught me in her back yard. She came out and told him to get off me and she whacked him with a fire poker. Then he… then he attacked her. He attacked her with his teeth and with his nails, but she kept fighting. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't, and when he turned his attention back to me she got back up and started throwing stuff at him. She wouldn't stop. Then he used this spell and she… I told her to stay inside. I told her to stay inside and call the police. I didn't think the police could stop him, but I didn't think she could either. Why didn't she stay inside? Why did she… Why did I have to run through her yard? I was supposed to be a wizard, but she saved me and I couldn't do anything for her. Nothing. All I could do was run away."

"That was very brave of her," Professor Lupin said.

"She should have stayed inside," Harry said, swiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his robes. He hung his head. "I told her to stay inside."

"Perhaps I'm being selfish," Professor Lupin said, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. "But I'm glad that she didn't."

"I, I should go…Professor," Harry said, ducking away from the man and trying to hide his face, suddenly very self aware. "They'll be wondering where I got off to. I…I just sort of ran off on the Headmaster. I'll just…"

Harry walked towards the door.

"Harry wait," Professor Lupin said. "I could floo the headmaster in just a moment."

"I just need to go," Harry mumbled, almost running out the door.

Once he was well out of the man's office, he really did start running. He ran and he ran, not caring where he was going. He ran until he tripped on the corner of the flagstone and fell to his hands and knees somewhere in the castle. He lay there a while, catching his breath, feeling the pain in his hands.

Eventually he rolled onto his side and sat up, bringing his knees to his chest with his back to the corridor wall. Harry looked at the small smear of blood and grit on his palms. He remembered the blood in the infirmary, he remembered blood that spattered a back yard. Ms. Adler, then professor Snape; before them his own parents, his godfather. People kept getting hurt on account of him, people had died. Harry remembered what Professor Snape had said on Friday, but even still; it may not have been his turn to go before the specter of death, but he would be damned if anyone else ever faced it again for him.

The blood on his hands had stopped flowing, it was just a scrape, the potion that Professor Snape had given him was doing it's job. Harry wondered if he would be able to get his week's dose that evening of if he would have to perform the Sang Vitalis charm on himself and avoid Dementors until Professor Snape got better. Harry looked at the blood on his hand and wished for a moment that the charm had worn off long before Harry had ever gotten that letter. He pushed that thought away with a sick feeling. He performed the charm on himself then. There would be no point in bothering Professor Snape today, even if he was out of the Hospital Wing before curfew that evening. Even if he was still alive.

He stopped in a bathroom before he went back to the headmaster's office. He washed the dirt and the blood from his hands and the tears from his face. He wished he could wash everything down the drain, before he thought that he should stop wishing for stupid things. Some wishes were dangerous. Some things couldn't wash clean.

The headmaster wasn't angry with Harry for running off, and Harry found himself with more tea before long, though he couldn't taste it. The words of the headmaster washed over him. He didn't take in much more than that Professor Snape was going to be okay but Greyback had gotten away.

The headmaster released him before long and Harry found himself detouring past the infirmary on his way to Gryffindor Tower. He didn't much notice the first and second years who eyed the lone third year curiously. He took a seat by one of the fireplaces and stared at the fire for a time. Lunch came and passed and Harry eventually decided to do something productive and started reading ahead for defense.

"Did you really not go to Hogsmeade Harry?" a twin surprised him by asking some time later. Harry looked up to see the twins looking at him.

"They're saying someone polyjuiced you to trick Greyback," one of them said.

"Oh, yeah," Harry said awkwardly, doing his best to identify the twins. "They did."

"You couldn't have gone under your cloak?" George asked.

"Or polyjuiced yourself?" Fred asked.

"Wasn't worth the risk," Harry said, thinking of Professor Snape.

"Wasn't worth the risk?" George asked.

"It has never been more blatantly obvious that our young friend here has had no proper education," Fred said.

"None at all," George agreed.

"A terrible shame," Fred said.

"What are they teaching kids these days?" George asked.

"Nothing important I'm sure," Fred said.

"Hogsmeade is fantastic," George told Harry.

"Bloody brilliant," Fred supplied.

"Why, for someone who's never been, you must have no clue what you're missing," George said.

"Something must be done," Fred said.

"Something must, yes," George said.

"He shall be educated in the ways," Fred said, eying Harry appraisingly, and the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stood on end.

"But that is for another time," George said ominously.

"Um.." Harry said, not sure what they were talking about.

"To business," Fred said.

"To the matter at hand," George said.

"The matter at hand?" Harry asked.

"Your hand actually," Fred said.

"What?" Harry asked.

Fred pulled out a pair of gloves from his bag.

"Oh," Harry said, recognizing the material the twins had been working with for their project.

"We're swapping out the prototype," George said.

"This one's much safer," Fred said.

"Safer?" Harry asked, thinking of just how much he had been using the gloves.

"You know how we told you you could punch Malfoy while wearing these gloves as long as you weren't thinking about going through his head cause his head wouldn't get put together quite right?" George asked.

"Will these put his head back right?" Harry asked.

"I don't think we'll ever get these things that accurate," Fred said.

"These just won't go through people period," George said. “Madam Tooling was very insistent that our product couldn’t kill people.”

"It's not like we think you're out to kill Malfoy or anything," Fred said.

"But even a small bit of intent can activate the gloves," George said. "A passing thought really."

"So like you're punching Malfoy and you just have a fleeting thought about it," Fred said

"And next thing you know you've got to send, like, flowers to his parents or something," George said.

"Super awkward," Fred said.

"These are better," George said, holding up the gloves.

"So we're swapping gloves," Harry asked, pulling out his own.

"Everything," Fred said, pulling out a bundle from his bag.

"Just toss the old stuff in the fire," George said.

Harry pulled out his gloves and started peeling off the patches of black cloth that had been stuck to the toes of his shoes, and the hood and shoulders of his robes.

They watched the cloth burn after Harry had made a bundle and thrown it into the fire.

"So how has it been working out for you?" Fred asked.

"They make for a quick escape," Harry said.

"That's what we like to hear," George said.

"We've gotten out from under Filch's nose so many times with these now," Fred said.

"It's unsporting," George said, though he did not seem to care about that.

"Well enjoy," Fred said. "Have you already had dinner?"

Harry nodded, a lie.

"Well we're off then," George said.

"We just came up to get a little something for Flint," Fred said with a smile.

"Seems he thought it would be funny to trip up Angelina in the mud," George said.

"He'll be having an interesting time at dinner tonight," Fred said.

"Wait," Harry said. "Have you seen Ron and Hermione?" It was getting pretty late.

"Not a bit of them," Fred said.

"I'd say they were off for some alone time," George said.

"But I'm not sure they'd know what to do with it," Fred said.

The twins made their exit.

They had probably stopped at dinner themselves. Harry wouldn't expect them to come to get him before they ate.

Harry looked at the pile of cloth the twins had left him. The patches went back on his shoes, and robes. The gloves were clipped to the lips of his pockets so he would only need to shove his hands into them to put them on. When he was done, he pulled a lone glove out from under his thigh where he had shoved it earlier. The twins hadn't noticed, and Harry didn't know what he was going to do with it.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

No one had seen Ron or Hermione; not for hours. Harry was really starting to get worried. Dinner was over and everyone was back except for his two friends. Harry left the tower. McGonagall might know, or at the very least, she should know that they were missing.

Harry tried not to imagine horrible things as he walked, but suddenly the idea of Greyback deciding to kidnap his best friends to get to him seemed like something he should have thought of before they had gone off to Hogsmeade. Harry was halfway convinced that he was going to get an owl with instructions to present himself before Greyback for his friends' freedom by the time he got to McGonagall's office.

It was as he got to McGonagall's office though that Ron and Hermione walked out of said office. Though they looked tired, they did not look as though they had been kidnapped in any fashion.

"Ron," Harry exclaimed. "Hermione, where were you? You didn't get detention did you?"

"Detention?" Hermione said, scandalized. "Why would the first thing you thought of be detention?"

"Well my first thought was that you had been kidnapped," Harry said. "But where have you been? It's been ages."

"The Aurors wanted to debrief us," Ron said. "They wanted written statements."

"But why?" Harry asked. "You weren't there were you? You weren't supposed to be anywhere near Professor Snape when everything happened. What did happen?"

"Well we didn't see any of that," Ron said. "And we weren't anywhere near it. But someone got it in their head that since we had been involved in the beginning we had to be on the official record. So we're there at the ministry, waiting to give our statements, but everyone's running around doing other stuff 'cause I guess everything got bollocksed, so it took forever."

"They didn't even feed us properly," Hermione said. "All they had were pastries. But the ministry was so interesting, Harry. It was amazing to be in another magical building besides Hogwarts."

"But what really did happen?" Harry asked.

"Dunno," Ron said. "All we've heard is that Snape got hurt but he's okay and Greyback got away."

"That's all I've heard too," Harry said.

"You really thought we'd been kidnapped?" Ron asked as the three of them started walking back to the tower.

Harry shrugged.

"You'll be happy to know we had a perfectly boring, Greyback free day," Hermione said.

"Yeah, we had to pretend to be looking for you to keep up appearances," Ron said.

"I guess you didn't get to enjoy Hogsmeade either," Harry said.

Ron shrugged.

"Well we did stop for lunch at a rather nice place called the Three Broomsticks," Hermione said.

"Yeah," Ron said. "You know that Butterbeer the twins got for that stupid party? Well they serve it warm and it's bloody brilliant. You've definitely got to try it when this bloody business is all over."

"It was rather good," Hermione said.

"Mr. Potter," the unmistakable voice of Professor Snape said from the corridor they were crossing. "Just the student I was looking for."

Harry turned to face the professor, both eager to see that he was all right, and dreading to have any sort of interaction with the man. The man was pale. Or rather he was paler than usual, and he definitely looked like he should be in bed. He did not, however, look like he was on deaths door, so Harry supposed that he was much improved.

"You're alright," Harry blurted out, completely lacking anything else to say.

"So it would seem," Professor Snape said. "I need a moment of your time, there is a matter we must attend to."

"You don't need to say anything, professor," Harry said. "I understand. You can just forget it, really."

"No, I'm afraid I cannot forget that there is a potion you must take every Sunday," Professor Snape said. "Now as trying as this day has been, I do still have a great deal to attend to, perhaps we can take care of just this one matter now."

"Right," Harry said. "Is it..."

"In my office," Professor Snape said.

"Right," Harry said.

"We'll see you in the common room," Hermione said, with a slight smile. Harry felt slightly abandoned.

Harry started walking with the professor towards the dungeons.

It seemed that the professor was just going to ignore everything; act like Harry had never said anything. Probably the best outcome really. The man wasn't being horrible. He could have said all sorts of things. He could have acted like the Dursleys did, like Harry was a stray wet dog that had wandered in. Ignoring the matter was really the best outcome Harry could have asked for. He pretended it didn't hurt.

Oddly enough, this was the most comfortable Harry had ever felt being alone with the man. Perhaps it was because the man knew. He knew and it changed nothing. Harry didn't have to worry about what he did or what he said. There were no wrong impressions. The cards were on the table. Nothing had changed, nothing would change. Harry had nothing to prove, and nobody to prove anything to. Nothing was going to happen. Pretending that that didn't hurt though was about as effective as pretending everything else didn't hurt.

"I did do the spell, professor," Harry said. "If you're really busy I can always pick the potion up tomorrow after class."

"Yes," Professor Snape said darkly. "Because the spell has been so effective in the past. How many times have you almost died this year? I do not believe you planned out all of your encounters with dementors, did you?"

Harry shrugged.

"You could have at least gone to Madame Pomfrey," Professor Snape continued.

"She would have had kittens," Harry said. "I'd have probably had to stay the night in the Hospital Wing."

"She would have taken care of you," Professor Snape said.

"How did you escape?" Harry asked. "There's no way she released you."

"I do not need to be released," Professor Snape said.

"Should you be in the hospital wing right now?" Harry asked.

"I had more important matters to attend to," Professor Snape said, looking at Harry.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked.

"I will be," Professor Snape said. "It looked worse than it was. I understand you visited."

"I wouldn't call it a visit," Harry said.

"No," Professor Snape said. "I don't suppose it was."

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"From what I observed, Greyback had a man disguised and under the Imperius Curse and forced him to attack me," Professor Snape said. "Believing him to be Greyback in disguise the Aurors all attacked and came out of hiding, leaving me with no one to watch my back."

"So he realized you were an imposter when he saw all the Aurors?" Harry asked.

"He did," Professor Snape said. "He stabbed me with a knife from behind and apparated away."

"And you're going to be alright?" Harry asked.

"I will be stalking these halls in the dead of night looking for wayward Gryffindors in no time at all," Professor Snape said.

Harry smiled at that before chewing on his lip, thinking back on what the professor had said about the attack.

"Magic can do that though?" Harry asked. "Control someone?"

"The Imperius Curse is one of three curses whose use are considered to be unforgivable," Professor Snape. "It removes one's free will and forces compliance."

"Forever?" Harry asked, horrified.

"As long as the curse is maintained," Professor Snape said. "Or until it is broken."

"But surely there are some things you can't be forced to do," Harry said.

"Some people are able to resist the curse," Professor Snape said. "But it is not a matter of being repulsed by what has been commanded of them. If the curse controls you then it does not matter what you have been told to do. You will attempt to comply without a thought otherwise."

Harry shuddered, feeling sick.

"Will that man be okay?" Harry asked.

"He will be," Professor Snape said. "Greyback will have no need of him, and no reason to maintain the curse now."

They arrived at the professor's office.

"Have a seat," Professor Snape said, opening his storeroom.

"Oh," Harry said. "Actually, it's getting late. I shouldn't stay."

"We have much to discuss," Professor Snape said, returning with a vial that he handed to Harry. Harry downed the potion after a moment’s pause as his stomach churned with nerves.

"There's really nothing, Sir," Harry said, slightly panicked. "I understand, I really do. You didn't sign up for anything and you don't owe me anything and you don't need to worry about me or anything. I'm fine really."

"You do not understand," Professor Snape said. "You left before you could understand. 'Merlin no,' was not an indictment against you. It was the realization that I had… It was an indictment of how I had treated you for two years, for the eleven years of not knowing you. I did not handle well the realization that I had so horribly transgressed against my own blood."

Harry swallowed a lump in his throat as he tried to understand what the professor had said. Part of him tried to hope and he tried vainly to squash it down. He was so weak.

"But what does that mean for… us?" Harry asked.

"I had given you every reason to never tell me," Professor Snape said. "Why did you seek me out this year?"

"I just wanted to get to know you better," Harry shrugged, feeling exceptionally vulnerable. "And then I liked you; I don't know… Then I thought, maybe there could be… more. Like, family stuff, maybe. I thought maybe you'd want to… like… take me in or something. Not that I'd expect you to, or you should feel obligated or anything. You don't owe me anything."

Professor Snape studied him for a while.

"You should really sit down, Harry," Professor Snape said steadily.

Harry paused a moment, not sure where he stood. He eyed the appropriate chair warily before taking it. Professor Snape started to roll up his left sleeve.

"If that is what you would like then I find I must be straight forward with you," Professor Snape said. "Do you know what this is?" he asked brandishing his left forearm.

Harry saw a faint but ugly tattoo of a snake poking out of the eye socket of a skull.

"It has to do with Voldemort?" Harry asked.

Professor Snape winced but nodded.

"This is his mark," Professor Snape said. "The mark he gave his followers."

"But you were really working for Professor Dumbledore," Harry said. "Like a spy."

"I became a spy, yes," Professor Snape said. "But I joined the Dark Lord first. I followed the Dark Lord first. I was faithful to him."

"So you joined him to…" Harry let the question hang.

"To feel powerful," Professor Snape said softly. "To feel safe," he said with a derisive laugh. "To feel like I had a future. To be a part of something greater than myself. I don't really know anymore. It doesn't matter in the end, does it? I joined him and I served."

Harry swallowed hard and looked at the desk that was between them.

"How did that work out for you?" Harry asked.

"The Dark Lord's promises are but lies," Professor Snape said, and Harry nodded. "But realizing that was not enough. Realizing he was evil was not enough. When I took his mark I bound myself to him. There was no leaving his service. Nowhere to hide where he could not find me. I had resigned myself to dying in his service long before I entered the headmaster's."

"Do you believe the pureblood stuff?" Harry asked.

"No," Professor Snape said. "I never believed that. I believed in heritage, but not blood. Yet when I was younger… Everything was about sides. Before the Dark Lord made his first appearance, had truly started, before I had left Hogwarts, the Dark Lord's envoys painted a glorious picture of a new era for the wizarding world. We were stagnant, they said. We were falling. There were those who would destroy us and it was up to us to stop them. They wanted me to help them bring about their glorious future. They promised me a place in that world."

"What made you change sides?" Harry asked.

"Your mother." Professor Snape said.

"You still loved her?" Harry asked.

"I never stopped," Professor Snape said.

"But you fought against her in the war," Harry said.

"I had thought I could protect her," Professor Snape said. "She was a ward breaker, she wasn't supposed to fight. I had thought I could protect her once the Dark Lord won, if I was one of his favored. This was before he had made clear his plans to kill all muggleborns. Blood purity was certainly a part of his manifesto, that purebloods should only marry purebloods, but that was not the stated goal of his world vision. He always spoke of the old ways. His recruiters promised a revival of the old magics. Of the days when great feats of magic were performed. Whose relics we now covet and do not understand. The days before the ministry banned the Dark Arts and tightly controlled ritual casting. Before tomes of power were hidden away by the old families and restrictions were made on what could be taught or practiced centuries gone."

"You sound like you still believe in all that," Harry accused.

"I do," Professor Snape said. "There is a wonder I cannot describe in the bare scraps of magic that I was able to obtain while in his service. But it wasn't worth it. None of it was worth serving him. None of it would have been worth the blood that he spilled in rivers across our world. Besides, I believed in boundless discovery. The Dark Lord's power was for the chosen few."

"You didn't care about the blood stuff though?" Harry asked. "You didn't care what he said about my mum?"

"I am a halfblood myself," Professor Snape said before he paused. "I ignored it at first. I had heard such talk for a long time in Slytherin house, I was good at ignoring it. I knew that the old families who still coveted the old ways walked hand in hand with the blood purists. It was all bilge, but I was used to hearing it, I was used to ignoring it. As I made in roads to the powerful houses that held the knowledge I craved, I got used to ignoring a lot. They had been saying those things for generations, and they would be saying them for generations to come. It was part of the package, and I didn't take it seriously. It was their vision, not mine. All I had to do was prove that I was worthy of the knowledge that they had. That I deserved that power. That I was one of them."

"So you changed sides when you realized Voldemort would kill my mother?" Harry asked.

"I changed sides when your mother blasted down the door of the manor house I was delivering a potion to," Professor Snape said. "There was a battle, the Dark Lord himself was there. I saw her get taken down by a serious curse. Potter got her out of there, but that was the day I knew I could not go on as I was. I would later learn that that was the third time your mother had come face to face with the Dark Lord. I had been convinced before then that the Dark Lord would win. It seemed that the writing was on the wall. But I knew then and there that I would do anything to see your mother safe. I knew she never would be while the Dark Lord was alive."

"So you became a spy?" Harry asked.

Professor Snape nodded.

"I think I can…" Harry began.

"I haven't finished," Professor Snape said.

"Sir?" Harry asked.

"This has just been to explain how it began," Professor Snape said tiredly. "That was not my confession."

"O-ok," Harry said, waiting for the professor to continue warily.

"I still needed to act the loyal Death Eater," Professor Snape said. "The Dark Lord has a way of knowing when you lie, a way of seeing into one's mind. There are ways to protect the mind, but the best way to be certain is to lie as little as possible, to hide lies within truths. I was one of many Death Eaters tasked to spy for the Dark Lord and I happened to be tasked to spy on the Headmaster one day as he was meeting a purported seer in Hogsmeade. The woman was ridiculous, she was obviously a charlatan. I was soon convinced that she was wasting the Headmaster's time. I thought I would have nothing to report, but I was wrong."

"As the headmaster got up to leave, the woman went into a trance and began prophesying," Professor Snape said. "I was discovered listening outside the door before I could hear the entire thing and was soon summoned to the Dark Lords side. He wanted to know what I had learned."

"I had had no time to discuss the matter with the headmaster, but I thought then that there was no need," the Professor said. "The woman was a fraud, the words she had uttered were useless. I did not want to lie to the Dark Lord and so I came up with a way to trick the Dark Lord. To bring about his destruction with truths. I thought to make the Dark Lord believe that the prophesy was real, to sell it to him as valid, for indeed, it involved him. The prophesy gave a set of qualifiers to identify someone who was a threat to the Dark Lord. They were so ridiculous that I thought surely no one could truly match the description. I had thought that the Headmaster could manufacture someone, someone who would appear to fit this description and a trap could be set. A trap that would see an end to the Dark Lord. I convinced the Dark Lord that it was real. That there was this threat to him, and I did not stop to think of what would could come of it."

"Was it a real prophesy?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes," Professor Snape said.

"Did Voldemort kill them?" Harry asked. "Would they have killed Voldemort if you hadn't said anything, is that what the rest of the prophesy was about?" Harry wondered if Voldemort would have been dead before he could have gotten to Harry's parents if things had been different.

"The Dark Lord did not kill him," Professor Snape said. "The Dark Lord killed his parents before having his own curse rebound against him."

Harry looked up at the professor speechless. He shook his head.

"Me?" Harry asked. "The prophecy was about me? All he wanted was me? He killed them because he wanted me?"

Professor Snape only nodded.

"No," Harry said. "That shouldn't… No… You… That doesn't make any sense! You were trying to protect her. You loved her. You…" Harry stopped talking, realizing that none of that was contradicted by what he had just been told. The universe was not fair. The universe didn't work on 'should's.

"It's not fair," Harry said angrily. "It's not right. Why didn't you save her?! Why didn't you save my parents?! Weren't you spying for their side?"

"I warned the headmaster," Professor Snape said. "I begged him to get her into hiding. I told him there was a spy close to them, I just didn't know who he was. I thought she would be safe under the strongest of wards."

"But they weren't," Harry said angrily. "They were betrayed."

"Yes," Professor Snape said. "They were."

Harry closed his eyes, too many could-have-beens flashing in his mind.

"Was that everything?" Harry asked.

"Everything?" Professor Snape asked.

"Everything you had to tell me?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Professor Snape said. "Yes, that's everything."

Harry nodded.

"I need to go now professor," Harry said. "It's almost curfew."

He didn't run this time. Professor Snape didn't try to stop him.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Deep in the woods, Peter waited. 'It should have worked,' he thought. Yet he was not free. He was waiting for Greyback.