Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next Malfoy Interlude chapter, this time set in Lucius's POV. Generally speaking, these chapters won't be every other and instead scattered throughout where it makes sense within the story, however for the beginning part of the summer (first 3 or 4 of these chapters) they do go every other because there's a lot happening offscreen and Harry and Draco apart it becomes necessary. As I said before, there is no relevant information to the plot of the main story that will only be in these chapters, but there will be information revealed before the main story since Harry and Snape won't find out a lot of it until they return to school. Similar to Choices, this story does have arcs and I should be finishing up the first arc (summertime) within the next week and then it will move into the school year where they will face a new and different set of challenges.

Disclaimer: This chapter was written by my beta French_Charlotte and reviewed by me for content and characterization.
Malfoys' Interlude: Narcissa's Story

Monday 21st July, 1997

Lucius wouldn't ever say it, but he loved this Muggle coffee shop.

Teetering on the edge of Millenium Pier with the Thames flowing at its back, Wharfinger Cottage pillared at its left, and the infamous Tower of London nearly right in front of it, Bridge Cafe was popular among visitors. They flocked to it - parents trying to provide an educational field trip during summer time, tourists from overseas, locals simply enjoying their national heritage - solely for its convenience. It was so basic that it didn't even have a name of its own; it simply borrowed the most famous landmark and called it a success. Which worked incredibly in its favor.

It was a small structure with an open counter front and windowed display of cut sandwiches, pastries, and biscuits for sale. There was no seating for the customers. No actual building for them to even step inside of. The owner was also the cashier and barista (and the cook, if Lucius had to venture a guess). And the man - elderly with sagging, leather-like tanned skin - moved incredibly fast for his ailing years. He also had a memory like none other. Despite seeing hundreds of new customers daily from the boat-fulls of tourists spit out on the pier beside his shop, the man always remembered a returning customer. And he remembered what they ordered and any specific details about it.

Dressed in a Muggle fitted suit, Lucius fit in rather well among the London business elites. And when he was alone, without worrying about his wife's sanity and his son's crippling depression, he found himself lavishing in the anonymity Muggle London procured. When he began attending individual therapy sessions with Dr Cobb, Lucius meandered around the area, at first aimless and letting his feet simply keep pace with his troubled thoughts. At first, they favored a perimeter either close to the skyscraper housing Cobb's office, or the approved apparition points tucked in alleys. But the more wayward his thoughts became, the more distant his wanderings ventured. And eventually, he stumbled across the notorious Tower of London, standing tall and proud despite its flagrant history.

Years ago, he'd always planned to take Draco to see it. It was a place of sinister history for their people, one of the many places that secretly tortured and eventually murdered dozens of their kind. Heretics, they were called. If Draco ever wavered in his Pureblood ideologies, if he ever questioned the ideals Lucius and Narcissa drilled into him, it was Lucius's plan to bring Draco under guise to the heart of London to show him the landmark. It wasn't commemorated as it ought to have been; the Muggles turned it into a circus, a tourist trap, for all to witness and bawk over their darkest moments of existence. Not even the Muggles really knew what happened inside the fortress.

"Long black aeropress?"

Lucius looked away from the tower to nod to the coffee shop owner. "Yes, please."

It was the same order he always had. The same he'd get the next time he visited Muggle London. Which would be before he had a therapy session. Because he was finding himself coming up with excuses to wander the metropolis as a nameless, reputationless person floating from one street to the next as he mulled on his thoughts on how to save his family.

The Malfoy patriarch roamed his stare over the coffee premises. The menu was nothing more than a dusty, old chalkboard that still had remnants of the previous day's menu. The prices were cheap, especially for Lucius's standards. And the one time he tried the tea was the last time; as talented as the barista was at making a long black and working coffee grounds, he couldn't make a spot of tea to save his life.

The coffee was beyond divine. It was rich and bold in flavor, but deceiving light and velvety at the same time, delivering the best of both worlds in savoring a perfect cup. If Lucius wasn't worried about giving away his unsolicited trips to Muggle London, he would've offered to buy the man's shop out and simply hire him on full-time at the manor. He could easily afford the man's salary for the rest of his few years left plus promise him a luxurious life.

But money wasn't the shop owner's chief motivation. He didn't get up every day before dawn, hobble in opening up the shuttered shop, cut up some small sandwiches, and serve tired teachers and visiting tourists for the money. He didn't make the best cup of coffee in all of England for the money.

The idea that money couldn't buy everything was becoming a theme to Lucius. It bought him the best mind doctor he could find, it afforded unparalleled crafters to oversee the renovations on the manor, it paid the exorbitant import fees on the tulips and Polynesian orchids for their new gardens. But it didn't fix his son or his wife. And it didn't make him suddenly know how to be a present father and husband.

Sipping on the black coffee, Lucius made his way back towards the tower for his appointment. It was a decent walk, several blocks, but he welcomed the distraction and the cool breeze. Muggle London tasted and smelled different; not of the rolling meadows and green hills in Wiltshire, but of people and technology and liberties. Different liberties from their own but liberties all the same. Of automobiles and magic-less innovation, of different foods and spiced drinks, of sounds coming from everywhere and everything, of being able to get lost in the dizzying world and escape into the background. No one looked, no one really cared about others. They walked in tandem together crossing the street when the little box changed from the red person to the green one. But no one cared where the other was headed, who they were, what they did or what they didn't do. No one cared that he was a Malfoy and that he almost killed his own son with his bad life choices.

The lift up to Cobb's office had a near silent hum to it. After checking in with the secretary, Lucius sat in a leather-upholstered armchair and waited with his paper cup of coffee. How his life had changed so drastically. Fifteen months ago, he was Lord of his household, an immaculate Pureblood with an unblemished pedigree he held proudly over anything to do with Muggleborns. Twelve months ago, he became Azkaban's newest resident. And three months ago, he was a captive in his own home and forced to watch his son be used to keep an evil wizard alive.

"Lucius?"

The wizard glanced up at the familiar American accent - a strange one that had once grated on his nerves but he eventually warmed up to it. He greeted Cobb with a stiff nod of his head and followed him into his office.

It was a tastefully decorated corner office that provided sweeping views of the bustling steel jungle below, the streets intersecting and zigzagging with rancor. Lucius spared the view only the most cursory of glances before finding his trademarked seat on the long couch he sat at with his family the day before. Across from him, Dr Cobb plucked his pen from his jumper and began to scribble something at the top of his clipboard. "How are we doing today, Lucius?"

"Quite fine, thank you."

Content with whatever was written, the psychologist tossed the clipboard to his tidy desk that sat adjacent to their small sitting area. The automatic response from his patient earned only the smallest of grins from the squib. "Do you know why I asked to see you alone today?"

Lucius had some guesses and he almost played dumb out of instinct not to show his hand too preemptively in a meeting, but he had to remind himself that Cobb was an ally. And the session wasn't a place to utilize cunning and deception. "Because of Draco, I presume. And my wife's inability to see the struggles he's still going through. Really, she fails to see the struggles all of us still have. I had a-" he almost said 'colleague' but had to force himself to grapple with the truth, "-I had Severus over this morning for tea and she acted as though he wasn't a forced captive held in deplorable conditions in our very home. It's as if she's forgotten the past year has even happened."

Cobb leaned forward slightly. "Quite a bit I'd like to discuss from what you just said, but let's start with Severus. You had him over for tea? Your idea or his?"

The wizard snorted. "Truthfully? I don't even know. He has something I want and I have something he wants. I suppose it was a mutual agreement in the end." He paused for a moment, slate eyes looking away. "Draco told me last night he doesn't intend to return to Hogwarts. He cited his safety as his main concern but I don't believe that. Strange that I feel like I don't know him anymore, or that I am losing him more and more each and every day, but I can still discern his lies easily. Is that what it means to be a father?"

The question was asked with rhetoric sarcasm but Cobb met it with a gracious smile and shrug. "I've told you this before, Lucius. There's no mold to fit in how to be a father or a parent. You make that yourself. That's what parenting is all about."

"So what have I been doing for the past seventeen years then? Watching my child be raised by forces outside of my own devices?" The slight incline of the doctor's brows told Lucius that he wanted the wizard to answer his own questions. Lucius seethed and shook his head, tabling the thoughts for the moment. "For discretion and safety sake, I can't speak of what Severus is asking of me, but it certainly has to do with past… engagements of more questionable caliber. In return, I'm asking him to assist in arranging secure lodging for Draco at Hogwarts."

Cobb nodded slowly. "He has to go back to Hogwarts. I'm sure you can find him tutors and get private education that's on par - or maybe even better - than his curriculum at Hogwarts, but the routine and regularity of school will do him wonders in healing. He needs to get back to that normalcy."

"I've told him as much," Lucius shortly replied with a sigh. "But in our world, he's of age. If he so wishes to stop his education a year shy and be forever deemed a Hogwarts truant, then that's his prerogative and there's little I can legally do." He hesitated. "However, I did - in a labyrinthine and roundabout way - exert an arm of extortion to get to him to back down from his plan. Our newest business prospects in creating a Muggle-disease research and treatment center has been one of the only positives he talks about. Especially with me. We're both heading it up together. I discursively threatened to remove his involvement unless he returned to Hogwarts. Does that make me a bad parent? Holding something that he clearly wants above his head to get him to do what I want?"

Cobb chuckled softly. "Did you always give him dessert before his dinner when he begged for it?"

"A hardly fitting comparison."

"I disagree," the American said lightly. "And it wasn't a rhetorical question, either. If he asked for it, did you give him dessert before dinner?"

Lucius had to think about that. Any good parent would know the answer. But he wasn't a good parent. Not yet, at least. "He knew never to ask," he quietly replied. "As a very young child, perhaps, he would occasionally get sweets throughout the day. But once he was old enough to begin his tutoring in earnest, his etiquette training began immediately. He was taught with staunch, strict methods never to interrupt a meal's flow."

"Who taught him with those methods? You and Narcissa?"

The wizard shook his head. "I don't recall her name. A German governess who reared barons and lords in Eastern Europe."

Cobb nodded slowly. "And what about other things? Toys, clothes, brooms, Quidditch games and matches? Did he ever ask for something and you not give it to him? Or set a reasonable, healthy goal for him to achieve before giving it to him?"

Lucius took a moment to wade through the past seventeen years. The memories were like silt; sticky, thick, and murky. "Draco was never left wanting for anything. If he asked for it… yes, he typically received it. He had the best brooms, which I also furnished for his entire Quidditch team. He saw any Quidditch match he wanted from the best box in the stadium. My standards for him, though, were always high. I wanted him to be the best not because he figuratively had to be for eventual career-planning purposes, but because Malfoys aren't anything less than perfect. That's what he was taught."

"And now? What's changed? Don't you still hold him to those standards?"

The Malfoy patriarch wet his lips and looked down hopelessly into his hands. "I don't know if I can anymore. Everyday I see him I feel like he's drifting away. He sleeps all the time - I used to never go into his room. It was always his private space, especially when he became a teenager, and I respected it. But since the trial when he started spending all of his time in his room, I'd knock every so often to check on him and he wouldn't answer. So I started to open the door and check on him. Asleep. He's always asleep."

There was silence for a few beats before the doctor spoke. "I recall him being prescribed sleeping droughts and dreamless sleep potions two months ago. Did he get a new prescription? I don't remember seeing that in his files."

Lucius shook his head slowly. "It wouldn't be there because he hasn't. He exhausted his dosage limits and the healers recommended him to explore other sleeping aids. Maybe something less addictive like infused valerian or skullcap. I don't trust that he hasn't stopped taking the potions, though obtained through questionable means. Our family still has resources. And if he absolutely had to, he's always been exceptionally skillful at potions and could figure out how to brew them himself. I've never told Narcissa my suspicions. Not because she's a bad mother." He hurriedly added that, as though feeling compelled to defend his wife's strange behavior lately. "I don't wish to worry her."

Cobb didn't seem to take notice of the Narcissa comment. "If he's taking potions to that extent, Lucius, it can be dangerous for him."

"I know," the Malfoy patriarch agreed with a heavy breath. "I was hoping he would stop once we began seeing you. But nothing's improved with him. He doesn't talk with me. His mother barely looks at him for more than a few seconds, and when she does it's like she's looking through him. But never at him. I feel like… I feel like if he doesn't go back to Hogwarts, he'll simply become a recluse in body and completely gone in mind. At the same time, I don't know if I trust having him so far away with people who might wish him harm."

Cobb hummed to himself for a few minutes before kicking his left ankle to rest on his right knee. "It is completely normal to set healthy and achievable goals for children to work towards. I don't like the word 'standards' because it doesn't really give much room for growth in either direction. Putting your foot down about Hogwarts I think is difficult for you because you've never really had to put your foot down with him before."

"Perhaps," Lucius mumbled. "I don't think I'm one to measure the sanctity of a father's decision-making process, all things considered. Until the Dark Lord's return, it was so much easier with Draco. But once he came back and my allegiances were demanded, I knew it was only a matter of time before Draco would be expected to fall into line. I didn't want that life for him. A Pureblood, yes. But pulled into the world of killing and torture… through my own hand, I made him give up so much of his life. Every shred of his innocence, all because of my iniquities."

"Sins of the father is an old philosophical debate," Cobb began. "To see you taking accountability for your past actions causing pain to your family is a huge step, Lucius. I'm proud and you should take this moment to be proud of yourself. But don't get stuck on that. You won't ever get to chapter two if you keep trying to re-write chapter one."

"And if there is no chapter two?"

"Well, that would be a very boring book, wouldn't it?"

Lucius chuckled alongside the doctor, but inwardly, he was reeling. Part of him enjoyed the freeing sensation of admitting that he was the major wrong-doing catalyst for his family. And that he was doing everything within his power, no matter how limited it might've become from recent events, to guide his family back to a path of positive outcome. They wouldn't be what they were before, but they shouldn't either. And yet, the other part of him panicked at the unknown.

Lucius ran his hand down his features, trying to stir them alert. "I worry for Narcissa. That is to say, I have always worried for Narcissa but I worry for her now."

The doctor unhooked his ankle off his knee and gave the wizard a puzzled look. "You've always worried for her? Narcissa seems to be a strong, capable witch. I can understand now but you said always."

What was it about the doctor's office that made the truth so much sweeter and easier to grab for. Maybe it was from Lucius's own selfish desires to get his family back to a place of healthy standing that he thought his own reconciliation would do it, but he found himself digging through buried truths and lies that hadn't seen the light of day. "Yes, always," he repeated after a thick swallow. "Narcissa doesn't… she does not take loss and trauma well. She never has. And it almost cost us our marriage years ago when we first were married. And I…" He squeezed his hands together, palms feeling balmy. "I knew that I would cause her torture before we were even married. I knew something that would bring her torment if we were married and I said nothing."

Cobb studied him for a few seconds. "What was it?"

The wizard looked down at his hands, at the elegant wedding band entombed around his finger. "Everyone knew the Black sisters. The eldest two, Bellatrix and Andromeda, were two and one years my senior, respectfully. And the youngest, Narcissa, was a year my junior. Had I not shown an inclination to a Pureblooded witch, my parents would've selected one on my behalf, but I knew early on, when I first met her, I was going to marry her."

When an encouraging silence greeted him, the wizard smiled almost sadly at the memory but forced himself to continue. "Everyone knew Bellatrix the best. And truly, Bellatrix was the epitome of what a Pureblooded witch ought to have been: she was fierce, passionate to her heritage, but she had this inability to think about anyone unless they were right in front of her. It was as if she could only consider someone's feelings or how they were impacted if she could see them, and once they stepped away, so too did her thoughts about them. She was cold and calculating, and her heart was surrounded by this hatred that eventually became insanity. I saw that and I knew that despite her being a very good Pureblood, that wasn't what I wanted bred into my child."

He took a breath and looked out the window, out at the other towers, but he was taken elsewhere. Back in time. "Andromeda was just as bold and fierce as Bellatrix. Those two always garnered the most attention when we were in Hogwarts. Their rivalry was well known. It's truly a pity that Andromeda was severed from her family line. She was a formidable witch, even with her desire to wed a Muggleborn. But my own son is now courting one. We'll save that for another session."

Hermione Granger. Lucius hadn't even had much time to process that his son was dating a Muggleborn for months and had hidden it from him. But Hermione Granger was the whole reason Draco even captured Harry. She was the whole reason so many people hated his son, blaming him for having kidnapped their 'Chosen One' and almost costing them the war if not for Harry and Snape's quick and benevolent thinking.

Cobb smiled lightly. "For another session."

Lucius took that as his cue to continue. "Narcissa was mostly forgotten when placed side by side amongst her sisters. But she was everything Bellatrix wasn't. Kind, compassionate, maternal. She was Slytherin to her core, to be certain, but she used her cunning in different ways. She was as fierce as Andromeda but she was fierce for her family. And it turned out, family was the only thing she wanted." He swallowed sharply. "She wanted a family. It was well known. 'Three isn't enough, five is too much, four is just right', she used to say when discussing her future children. Four. She wanted four. Among the Black family tree, it wasn't unheard of. Many of them had three or more children. But for the Malfoys it was…. impossible."

Another silence lapsed. Another waiting, expectant silence. Lucius hated it.

"I knew I couldn't give that to her. It's still disputed on the cause, but our family is unable to produce offspring easily. At the most, one child can come to fruition but not easily. Some of our ancestors' portrait's say it's from a curse. Malfoy. Middle French for 'bad faith'. The more popular belief is that it's caused from the dark artefacts kept in the manor. Either way, I didn't tell her because I knew if I did, she wouldn't have married me." He paused. "It was the first time my selfishness caused her pain."

Dr Cobb nodded slowly in understanding. "But you were able to conceive."

Lucius laughed darkly. "Eventually. And not easily. If you were to ask me how many lives I've taken, I'd be unable to answer you truthfully. For I don't know how many unborn children I add to that list, but I'm sure if you ask Narcissa, she kept count." He shook his head and looked down. "It killed her. Each and every failed pregnancy she took personal blame for despite it not being her fault at all. And kind of like now, she began to wilt and suffer horribly. I was losing her and I needed to do something. Severus gave us fertility potions, but nothing seemed to work. I pledged myself to the Dark Lord and our home saw more dark artefacts than ever before. I was hopeless. And hopeless men do desperate things."

He could've stopped there. Should've.

Instead, he kept going on in a shaky voice that didn't sound like him. "Our family's enterprises span across the Muggle and Wizarding worlds, and through some of our Muggle exchanges, I reached out to contacts in the medical industry. Through utmost discretion, I received consultation with a Muggle physician and Narcissa was put in treatment immediately."

"Did it work?" Cobb asked.

"Draco was born eight months later. A little earlier than planned but her pregnancy wasn't easy on her body. He was healthy and perfect and everything to us both. I knew she wanted more children but we both knew that wasn't happening. Because to keep what we did secret from certain audiences I had to… dispose of the Muggle physicians. They gave me a child and I killed them for it."

The silence that filled the room afterwards was uncomfortable and unbearable. But neither the squib or the wizard interrupted it. They simply existed in it, Cobb studying him with a soft, sad expression and Lucius examining his hands. Hands that had done the bad deeds he finally recounted. What kind of a man was the doctor to take that kind of news in such good stride?

"I'm not admitting this to start to reconcile with my past transgressions. I've long gone to bed with them," Lucius finally said. "But I still struggle to come to terms with the lie and pain I caused Narcissa. I swore to myself seventeen years ago that I wouldn't do it again. That every decision I made would be in the best interest of my family. I suppose you can have the best of intentions and still be a rotten husband and father."

"Have you been honest with Narcissa since? Does she now know the truth of why you struggled to conceive?" Cobb asked in his gentle, doctor voice.

Lucius nodded quickly. "Of course. As I've said, we've made terms with that struggle as best as we could. But her motherly side… the way she helped out the Potter boy during his time of captivity at the manor, most people were shocked to hear it. I wasn't. Narcissa would help out any child in need, even if they're not her own. And he needed her then."

"How is she coping now compared to how she coped eighteen years ago?"

"Different in a way, but the same in another," the wizard replied. "Back then, she was the new Madame to our household and I don't think she fully understood the power she carried. Now, she's utilizing every tool at her disposal. What with these ridiculous renovations that are simply giving her busy work. That's all she's doing. Giving herself inane distractions and casting off anything that reminds her of those horrible months. She even sent my peacocks away!"

Dr Cobb closed his eyes briefly and nodded. "Maybe that's a goal we can work on when I meet with you and Narcissa next. I feel that's a very good milestone to work towards. The peacocks did play a big role in the battle, and welcoming them back will mean something."

"Perhaps," Lucius mumbled. "In the meantime, doctor? What am I supposed to do? Clearly, my judgment is poor when it comes to my family. I've given you more than enough evidence of that. So tell me, because short of making another grievous mistake, I don't know what to do anymore. My family is falling apart before my eyes. And everything I do to try to make it better only makes me feel worse. I've even considered sending Draco to Beauxbaton! We have legacy there from distant relatives, he speaks French fluently, but I know Hogwarts will give him that sense of-of normalcy again."

Cobb gave him a weak, sad smile that mirrored Lucius's inner turmoil perfectly. "I can't tell you what to do, Lucius. But I can tell you that sometimes the hardest parts of parenting, and some of the most crucial parts of healing, are the most painful." The doctor tapped a finger against his thigh in thought. "But everything you said today was a huge breakthrough for you. I'm not sure what unnerved you enough to get to this point, but the only change that you mentioned today was the visit with Severus. I'd like you to visit with him again."

"You want me to visit with the man whose ward my son kidnapped and delivered to his death?" Lucius asked flatly. "While we both agreed there was no ill-will between us, we're both from families that wouldn't air grudges even if there was."

"I want you to visit with a friend," the American gently corrected with a chuckle. "Twice a month, in fact. Even if he returns to Hogwarts, I want you to chisel the time out to have tea with him."

The wizard sighed defeatedly. Arguing wouldn't do him any good. He was placing his and his family's eventual wellbeing in the squib's hopefully able hands. "Fine. And what exactly do you want me to say to him?"

Cobb shrugged gently. "Whatever feels right. Maybe that's talking about your sons. Maybe it's talking about your business. But twice a month." He paused a moment, considering the Pureblood across from him, before reaching over to his desk to pluck his clipboard off of it. "As for Draco, I have a small homework assignment for you. This packet here-" he lifted a stapled stack of white paper with printed words scribbled across it, "-has a long list of what we call 'character questions'. Typically, authors use them when working on characters in their books but I like to use them as exercises. Each week, I want you to read three questions and provide answers about Draco. If you don't know the answer, you'll need to find it out without just asking him."

Reaching for the packet offered to him, Lucius held back his critical judgment and knee jerk refusal. He looked down at the paper, glancing at the first set of questions: 'Favorite colour?' Easy enough. He knew Draco liked green the most. It was the colour of Slytherin and a colour found in their family crest. Then again, he did own quite a few dark blue robes that seemed to match his likeness. Did he really like green or was it just another thing shoved on him at a young age?

Tabling that one, he quickly looked at the next question. 'What are their feet like?' Lucius almost did a double take. What an absolutely mad, ridiculous question. He didn't know what his feet were like. And what kind of person had the literary repertoire to describe feet? Sure, Draco walked barefoot through the home when he was in his nightclothes, but Lucius couldn't recall taking the time to really look at his feet. He never thought to look at him that much.

He hated the exercise already.

Fighting back a defeated sigh and his instinct to throw the packet back in the doctor's face, Lucius finally looked at the third question. 'What makes them laugh out loud?'

He continued to stare at the packet as he conjured every image of Draco laughing in his mind. Sure, of course he'd seen his son laugh hundred of times. Genuine laughter, too, like when Lucius told a low-browed joke about some social faux pas he witnessed the Weasley patriarch make at the ministry. But that was years ago, wasn't it? When was the last time he saw his son give a full-bodied, hearty laugh? The kind that made his eyes crinkle in the corners and take on the shape of narrowed almonds, a feature inherited from his mother to be sure. The kind that made the corners of his lips curl back to the point of forcing the small dimples along the ridge of his jaw to hollow out and become pronounced. The kind that stopped existing when Draco was stripped of his boyhood prematurely and thrown into a world that chewed him up and spit him out. And everyone else that watched was all the happier for it.

He couldn't remember because the laughs didn't exist. Not anymore. But Lucius promised himself that they would eventually.

Chapter End Notes:
Coming Up Next: Mill Drive

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