“It’s like a castle!” Harry had cried as Severus pulled into a parking slot in front of the large Victorian castle prison. Severus winced at Harry’s words. Castle, maybe, but he really did not want to see the inside of it, and he especially did not want to take his son in there either.

               HMP Suller Hill was over two hours away from his house by car, not including traffic. He managed to cut that time to forty minutes by use of carefully timed portkeys that activated once he had pulled into an alleyway in the city. The rest of the twenty-minute drive to the prison had been silent, mostly due to Harry still recovering from the strange portkey trip that left him feeling slightly nauseous. Now, Harry was bouncing in his seat excitedly to get out of the car.

               Yesterday, Severus had to take Harry to work with him once more as he was still waiting on immunizations records from Harry’s previous muggle doctor to be sent to him and the school. He had not minded doing so for another day as Harry was very well behaved and played with his dinosaurs mostly. When Addie brought Iris over that evening, he decided to keep both kids around and they stayed for Hogwarts dinner, much to Iris’s delight. She ran around the Great Hall showing Harry off to everyone she knew, even some of the students. Yet, despite the busy afternoon and Harry’s first experience and newfound love of pumpkin juice, Harry did not sleep well last night.

               He had crawled out of bed three times for different reasons—the bathroom, a drink of water, not being tired—before Severus had Harry lie down on the couch in front of him while he finished grading essays. Harry finally dozed off after a couple warnings to go to sleep from Severus, and once he was done with his work, Severus moved the child back to his own bed.

               Wednesday morning came too fast, and Severus had to deal with a tired and moody Harry as well. He managed to get through his morning classes with Harry napping halfway through them. He had the house elves make a light lunch for Harry of just a fruit salad, a few chicken nuggets, and pumpkin juice. After lunch, came the dreaded time to drive to the prison for Harry’s visit with his aunt. Severus moved as slowly as he could to pack up the essays that had been turned in that day as well as his other belongings he would need. He sent Tum on his way to Hogwarts’ owlery before taking Harry’s hand and flooing home himself. And here, he was sitting outside the prison, staring at its cold, lifeless walls.

               “When are we going in, Daddy?” Harry whined. He struggled with the seatbelt still, and he tugged at it impatiently.

               “In a minute,” Severus answered, glancing back at Harry through the rearview mirror. “We’re early.”

               In fact, they were five minutes late. Severus wondered if he might be able to blow through their visiting time and miss it all together. Was all this really going to be helpful for Harry? The court had only agreed to a visit due to Harry’s difficulty settling in his new home, and they were merely trying to help the child, but how on earth was this going to help? Why had he agreed to this? He wondered if Harry would be more devastated after seeing Petunia or more devastated if Severus pulled out of the parking lot and drove away right now.

               A distinctive click caught his ears, and he glanced in the mirror again to see Harry had figured out the seatbelt and was now pushing on the door. Severus had several child protection spells on the car that would not allow the door to open until he unlocked the car himself.

               “I want to see Aunt Petunia,” Harry said, yanking on the latch harder in hopes the door would open.

               With a heavy sigh, Severus unlocked the car and got out, Harry jumping out as well and shutting the car door. He nearly ran ahead to the front door, but Severus caught him by his shoulder.

               “You will stay with me, young man,” Severus said. He looked at Harry’s dinosaur. “I don’t know if they’ll let you bring that in.”

               “Please, Daddy?” Harry asked, hugging Spikes to his chest.

               “We’ll see,” Severus said. He took Harry’s hand and walked to the labeled visitors entrance off to the side of the building. Harry looked around in awe at the massive size of the building and the ancient feel it gave off.

Severus pushed the door open and was quickly directed to a metal detector by an officer at the front desk. Severus stepped through first, letting go of Harry’s hand so Harry could do the same individually. Harry hesitated, frowning when Severus let his hand go. When Severus encouraged him forward, Harry stepped through the detector, clutching the green dinosaur to his chest.

An officer stepped forward and did a quick pat down of Severus, who wordlessly cast a find-me-not charm on his wand. A female officer walked over to Harry and smiled at him.

“Hello, what’s your name?” she asked.

“I’m Harry,” Harry said, holding his dinosaur close as his eyes darted back and forth between the officer and what was happening with Severus. “What is he doing to Daddy?”

“We just have to make sure you’re not bringing anything else but you and your dinosaur into the building,” the officer said. She reached out and gave Harry a brief pat down as she explained, “I’m just going to check you over really quick, and it looks like it is just you! And your dinosaur gets a quick search, too, like you did.”

“It’s just Spikes,” Harry said, letting the officer pet his dinosaur.

“Good day, Spikes,” she said, shaking his paw. “It is a pleasure to meet you. Okay, dear, you and your father can follow me to the desk.”

Severus had watched the exchange and was glad the witch had not been too blunt with Harry about what the pat downs were for. He knew it was routine, but he hated to put Harry through anything prison related. He followed the officer to the front desk, and she pushed a few papers his way.

He saw the visitors’ sign in form, as well as the application forms that he had filled out and owled in (the owl was trained to put certain envelopes in mailboxes). The application forms asked for general information about the visitors, such as name, birthdate, photo ID number, and relationship to inmate. The second page was a questionnaire that asked various legal questions such as if he was on the visitation list for the inmate, if he had ever been on probation, parole, or in a correctional institute, and if he was related to any other inmates in this prison. One question asked if he had been the victim of the crime for which the inmate was incarcerated for, and he answered affirmatively for Harry when he filled out his son’s paperwork, also putting himself down as Harry’s legal guardian and signing his name on behalf of his child. Both had been approved, which he had gotten a call about yesterday evening.

He signed his name and Harry’s names on the visitor sign in sheet, handed that back to the officer, and pocketed the application forms. He glanced at the clock. They were fifteen minutes late now, but it was less time with Petunia. Unfortunately, not enough less time.

“Right this way, gentleman.”

Severus took Harry’s hand and followed the officer down a bright hallway where a couple officers lingered, talking quietly among each other. He glanced at the rooms they passed, seeing a man and woman in one room holding hands and laughing with each other, two kids putting a puzzle together with a middle-aged woman and a younger woman watching them, and two gray haired women looking through a photobook.

Finally, the officer stopped in front of a closed door and opened it, stepping aside for Harry and Severus. She gestured to a table and Severus brought Harry over to it and sat down, sitting Harry next to him.  

“Give her a minute to sit down,” the officer said. “Have a nice visit.”

The door was closed and a door on the other side of the room opened.

There she was, in jeans, a striped, gray jumper, and cuffs around her wrists. Petunia walked ahead of the officer that followed her in.

“Aunt Petunia,” Harry cried, nearly jumping out of his seat.

Severus planted a hand on Harry’s leg, holding him in place and waiting until Petunia fell into her seat across from Severus and Harry, and she routinely brought her wrists up. Her large, pale brown eyes bore into Severus’s, her face expressionless as the officer uncuffed her and stepped back to the opposite wall. He stood up straight and clasped his hands together, not staring at anything really, but letting it be known that he was not leaving during the duration of the visit. Severus glared at Petunia but released Harry.

“Aunt Petunia!” Harry tried again, jumping up and rounding the table.

Severus held his breath.

Petunia’s eyes finally left Severus’s. She raised a hand, halting Harry in his tracks, but the boy merely paused directly in front of her, smiling up at her and clasping his hands together, staring up at Petunia adoringly while she shocked Severus by lightly patting Harry’s head, her hand barely denting Harry’s hair. It was as if this was a common way the two greeted each other. Petunia smirked, flipping her head to get some locks of slightly unkempt hair out of her eyes.

“Good boy,” she praised. “Look at you all cleaned up. Have you not been practicing your chimney cleaning while I’ve been in here?”

Petunia gave Harry a hurt expression and the child gasped.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Petunia, I’ll do it right away.”

“No, you will not,” Severus said sternly, looking between Harry and Petunia, “Harry will not be doing any more chimney sweeping in my house.”

“Pity,” Petunia said with a horrendous smile thrown at Severus. “You’d never have a cleaner chimney. But that’s all right, you don’t need to practice for me. By the time I’m out of here, you’ll be too big to climb up any more chimneys.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, his lower lip puckering out.

“Oh, it’s not a problem,” Petunia told Harry, laughing slightly. She patted him on the head again. “You’re such a people pleaser, aren’t you? We’ll have plenty of time to bond here, won’t we, dearie? We should plan for once a week. I’m sure we’ll have so much to talk about.”

“Okay, I would really like that,” Harry said.

“Petunia,” Severus growled the name through his teeth.

“Hmm?” Petunia gave him an innocent look. “Something wrong, Severus?”

Severus could not believe this was happening. He knew this visit would be disastrous. But why would Petunia throw an act now? She had nothing to gain from it.

“Aunt Petunia, did you know I have a daddy?” Harry asked, pointing at Severus.

“Really?” Petunia put a hand on her chest as she feigned surprise. “I had no idea. I guess I never thought a father would abandon his child in a near-relative’s care without so much as a thought of visiting or even asking how his child was doing once in a while. But what do I know about parenting, hmm? I am in here for doing such a poor job to begin with.”

Petunia rested her head on the back oh her hand and leaned into her elbow on the table as she gave Severus a knowing look.

If looks could kill, she would have keeled over flat on her ugly face. Severus glared at the woman with his arms crossed, realization settling in that the act wasn’t so much for Harry as it was for him. He wanted to declare this visit over then and there, but Harry had to say something.

“You’re a great parent,” he said.

Petunia acted touched by Harry’s words.

“And that is why I’ve missed my sweet little chimney sweep,” she cooed while ruffling Harry’s hair.

“I missed you, too.”

“What do you think of your newfound father?” Petunia asked.

“I like him,” Harry said. “He has different rules, though. And I have a sister! Her name’s Iris.”

“Ah, so he kept one kid but not the other.”

Severus bit his tongue at that, then said, “I spoke with Harry about my reasons for not taking him in as a baby.”

“Daddy said he was sad about mummy and my other daddy dying and didn’t think he could raise two babies.” Harry adjusted the dinosaur in his arms as he clarified things for his aunt. “So he gave me to you cause you would keep me safe.”

“Or so I thought,” Severus said his eyes narrowing.

Petunia gestured to Harry.

“He is alive, isn’t he?” she asked.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Aunt Petunia,” Harry interrupted, holding Spikes up. “Look what Daddy got me. His name is Spikes.”

Petunia held Severus’s stare a few seconds longer before turning her head.  

“Cute,” she remarked, her tone indicating she found it not so cute at all. A smile spread on her lips as she laughed and pushed the dinosaur down so she could see Harry’s face. “I’m sure you earned that, didn’t you? With lots of chores around the house and tending to the gardens.”

“No, Daddy doesn’t want me doing chores like I did at home,” Harry said.

Severus tried not to feel hurt that Harry still saw Privet Drive as home over his house.

“And I’m not allowed in the garden. Daddy won’t let me outside unless he comes out with me, but there hasn’t been time for that.”

“You mean he’s keeping an active, hard-working boy like you trapped inside?” Petunia clucked her tongue at that.

“He knows exactly why he’s not allowed outside without me,” Severus said, his eyes never drifting from Petunia.

“I tried running away,” Harry said. “I didn’t know you were here, now. I thought I could find you.”

“To be honest,” Petunia said, leaning closer to Harry and whispering in his ear, “I would have run away too.”

“Enough of this,” Severus snapped, startling Harry, who jumped and looked at him wide eyed. Even the officer glanced in their direction. “What goddamn game are you playing at?”

“Language, Severus,” Petunia said, reaching over to cover Harry’s ears briefly then patted Harry’s shoulders. “There are kids around.”

Harry smiled up at her as she brushed a lock of hair out of his face. Severus would not admit it, but he was slightly jealous of the looks Harry was giving his aunt. He sighed, and leaned over the table toward Harry, softening his voice.

“Harry, I think your aunt would love a cup of tea. Could you go bring us a tray? I think the officers might have one for us.”

Taking the hint, the officer in the room walked over to the door and waved down another officer, whispering to him briefly. Harry hesitated, looking up at Petunia, who nodded her head.

“Go on,” she encouraged, “you know how I like it, you smart boy, you.”

Harry smiled and set the dinosaur down on the table and accepted a young officer’s hand, following him out the door. Once the door shut behind them, and the other officer returned to his place at the back wall, Severus glared at Petunia, who smiled slyly back at him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Severus asked.

“Revenge,” she whispered to him, leaning across the table toward him.

“On your nephew?”

“No, of course not,” Petunia said after a bark of laughter. She sat back in her seat, folding her arms, which made her jumper look slightly too large for her. “Harry would never call the police on me. He’s too delusional to do that.”

“So, it’s on me then, eh? What exactly do you hope to accomplish?”

“Well, seeing how I’m stuck in this bug infested dump, separated from my own son who I rarely get to see, my husband will be out far sooner than I’ll be, and only then will I get to see him again, I figured I’d have all the time in the world to fuck up your life. My lawyer told me about Harry’s trouble settling in with you, despite you being his birth father and all. I was actually really surprised when he told me what exactly Harry’s problem was.”

Severus seethed in his chair as he listened to Petunia. Her words were like nails on a chalk board, and he wanted so much to cut out her vocal cords and use them in a tongue numbing potion that he could shove down her throat.

“Shocked, really,” Petunia continued. “I didn’t think he was that brainwashed, but I did see a chance for an opportunity. I can torture you for the rest of your life by turning your own son against you. He’ll come for visits with me, and I’ll set him straight. Whatever trauma you think you’ll have worked through, his next visit with me will obliterate it. I’ll keep him on a short leash, eating out of the palm of my hand while you struggle to have any semblance of the relationship Harry thinks we have.”

“Then consider this your first and only visit, Petunia. I am not letting you emotionally hurt my child any longer. You’ve had your fun. I hope you enjoyed it.”

“You think Harry’s going to accept that answer from you? You were so desperate for Harry to see the real me so he’d accept his new homelife that you brought him to me. In prison. You think denying him visits with me is going to give you affection points? Let alone help him settle down? He’ll be resentful of you. No matter what you do right now, Severus, even if I never see Harry again, the damage is done. You can’t fix him. He has no bloody clue what love is. He only knows my kind of love. And he’ll always take my word before anyone else’s.”

“Don’t be so sure of that,” Severus said. “He might not know what it is, but he craves it. Friendship too. You denied him of that as well, didn’t you? Well, he’s got a sister now. And a family that adores him. They’re already changing him, Petunia. He has grown so much thanks to my daughter and family friends. I’m going to show him what a family should have been like. It may not be tomorrow. It may not be ten years from now. But he will come to see the wrong you’ve done to him.”

“Just remember,” Petunia said, “you left him to me. You left him. To me. Don’t forget that.”

She was right. If he had just taken his son in, none of this would have ever happened. But it was too late to fix the past. He could only move on to a better future. A future Petunia would not be a part of. He shook his head at her, muttering a muffling charm around them.

“I won’t forget that. Lily would be so ashamed of you. So furious. Why did you do it? Raise Harry the way you did?”

Petunia smirked at Severus, staying quiet for a minute.

“Wouldn’t you love to know? Lily was always the gifted one, the talented one, the pretty one, the oh-so-caring one. She was just so special, and all because of what? She could do a little magic? Well, look where that magic got her. Dead. Killed. And it left her son orphaned. Not so special now, is she? And Harry? Special? No. Just because he has magic does not make him any better than my son or me. And look at him—he’s far from special? No talent, no skills, he didn’t even know magic existed. He can’t even read. I mean, clearly, being a wizard doesn’t guarantee brilliance.”

“He’s a child.”

“I was a child once, too. And I was swept away under Lily’s achievements. Well, I wasn’t letting that happen to my son. I kept your kid alive. That was all I had to do.”

“Just barely,” Severus growled, cancelling he charm when he noticed the officer inching closer to them suspiciously. “You nearly killed him on several occasions. Every time you let him climb up that chimney, it aggravated his asthma, he could have died.”

“Ah, yes that. I’m surprised he never did, even when I never gave him his inhalers.”

Severus’s eyes widened.

“You knew he had asthma? You had inhalers for him?”

“Of course, it’s hard to miss it when the child coughs the entire doctor’s visit. Do you have any idea how much inhalers cost? That child was taking money away from my poor Dudders. So, I never picked up his prescriptions.”

Severus wished he had been recording this conversation. Even the officer in the room was shocked, his eyes wide. He would be bringing this up to his lawyer for sure.

“You’re a sick monster, Petunia. Your son deserves better than you.”

Petunia had the decency to look outraged at his comment before her face went neutral. She smirked as she sat back in her seat.

“Harry thinks I’m a great parent.” Petunia snorted. “Sweet boy. So obedient. He’d do really well on the kiddie stroll if you ever find his emotional instability too much to handle.”

That did it. Severus lunged for the woman. He didn’t know if he was going to strangle her or beat the living daylights out of her, but before he could even touch her, the officer in the room grabbed him by his shoulders and threw him up against the wall, away from an unfazed Petunia, who sat there smiling at him.

“Calm down, sir,” the officer said. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

As soon as the officer released him, he yanked away from him and stormed out the door, slamming it shut behind him. He nearly walked right into Harry, who was watching a young officer balance teacups and saucers on his hand and head, with assistance from his laughing coworkers.

“Daddy!” Harry exclaimed upon seeing Severus. “I was getting tea, but Officer Parc was showing me some cool tricks.”

“Harry, we need to leave.”

The officers shared a look while they helped the young man remove all the tea items.

“Right now?” Harry frowned. “But I didn’t say goodbye to Aunt Petunia.”

Aunt Petunia. Severus felt a rage boil in his chest just hearing that name. He tried to bite it down and focus on getting out of the building.

“Our visit time is over,” he said, grabbing Harry’s wrist and pulling him down the hall toward the exit.

Harry pulled against him futilely before crying out, “Stop! I don’t want to go.”

“You can’t stay here. Our visit is over.”

“No! Let go! Let me go!” Harry screamed, throwing himself to the ground, forcing Severus to stop. Severus growled frustratedly and reached for Harry to pick him up. Harry back crawled away, still crying out, “No! I don’t want to go.”

“Harry, stop this,” Severus snapped. “Come here.”

“I want to say goodbye,” Harry cried, rolling over and standing up, running for one of the officers. “I don’t want to go.”

“Harry James Potter Snape!” Severus moved after his son.

“Sir, if I may,” an older officer said, stopping Severus with a hand on his shoulder. He pulled Severus aside and spoke in a low voice. “In my experience, and I’ve been doing this for almost twenty-five years, and it never gets easier, it’s sometimes better to let the kids say goodbye. At the least, it helps with closure.”

“I don’t want him near her,” Severus said, glancing back at Harry, who was being held still by the young officer, who rubbed his shoulders comfortingly while they waited for a decision.

“I understand,” the older officer said, “trust me, I understand. I have been keeping up on this case, and I’ve got three boys myself that I would not let that woman touch with a thirty-five-foot pole and their adults now, but for Harry . . . this is hard for him to understand. He finally gets to see his aunt and now he has to leave without a goodbye? He wasn’t in there for whatever conversation you just had. He doesn’t know what transpired and why you are so angry. Don’t let him think you’re angry at him.”

Severus sighed, rubbing his hands down his face.

“I’ll take him in so he may say goodbye,” the officer offered. “I won’t let any more be said between them except farewells. We’ll be in and out.”

“Fine,” Severus said. He just wanted a moment to himself honestly. He was beyond frustrated with everything and he just wanted everyone to be quiet. No screaming, no talking, just silence. He sat down in a chair, his head in his hands. Petunia was probably enjoying this—she had to be listening and the walls were not paper thin.

“We’ll be right back.”  

The officer took Harry’s hand and led him back down the hall to the room, knocking firmly twice before entering. Severus waited in his seat, one of the officers offering him a cup of tea. He accepted it and held it in his hands but did not drink it. He thought about his conversation with Petunia. She was right, of course.

He had left his son in her care.

Harry’s state of wellbeing was as much his fault as it was hers.

He sat up in his seat, leaning his head against the wall as he set the tea down on the empty chair next to him. Was he truly at Petunia’s level as far as parenting went? Was he failing his children? Would he be able to heal Harry from everything he had been through, or was Petunia right? Had he damned his child by bringing him to this visit? Would he be struggling to teach Harry what love really was for the rest of his life? He didn’t know if he was up for that challenge. What if Harry could never get over Petunia’s hold on him? Severus knew he would fight tooth and nail for Harry, and he would love him no matter what, but if Harry was never going to be happy in his care, he couldn’t live with that.

He really wished he had recorded that conversation between himself and Petunia. He wondered if he could pull a recording from a memory as he had done for a picture of Harry. Then he wondered if it would even be admissible evidence—as he had come here for visitation with Harry, not to try and pry information out of Petunia. He didn’t understand all the muggle laws, so he would have to talk to his lawyer about that once he got the recording on some muggle device.

A few minutes passed, and Severus was starting to worry when the door finally opened, and the officer and Harry stepped through. Harry walked down the hall to Severus, cuddling his dinosaur. Severus had forgotten Harry had left that in there.

“Aunt Petunia has to go back to her new room,” Harry said. “She said goodbye and hopefully we can visit again?”

Severus stared at Harry for a long minute before pulling him into a tight hug. He rubbed his son’s back, wondering if he could just make Harry listen to what he had heard. He decided against it. If anything, Harry would accuse him of making it up. He would have to hear it from Petunia’s mouth in person himself. Clearly that was not meant to be today.

Severus squeezed Harry closer before releasing him, running a hand through Harry’s long locks.

“Are you okay, Daddy?” Harry asked.

“I’m okay,” Severus answered. “Just tired.”

“Me, too,” Harry said, leaning into his father’s chest. “Can we go home, now?”

Severus’s breath caught in his throat. He smiled and nodded.

“Of course, we can go home.”

Maybe there was hope for healing after all.