The spell hit Harry before he had a chance to try and block it. Memories flashed before his eyes.

He was eight, and being chased by Dudley and his gang.

His Uncle boarding up the mail slot so he couldn’t get any letters from Hogwarts.

He was in his room, and his Uncle was about to hit him.

No, Snape couldn’t see that. The spell was lifted suddenly and Harry found himself on his knees on the floor.

“What was that Potter?” asked Snape.

“Nothing,” said Harry.

“That didn’t look like nothing,” said Snape.

“Well it was!” yelled Harry.

“Leglimens,” hissed Snape. More memories, mostly with his Uncle in them. Harry had a feeling he was doing it on purpose.

His Uncle standing in the doorway of his room. “Not a word, boy!”

He was sitting on his bed with the letter from his mum.

His Uncle was barreling through the door to his room.

He definitely didn’t want Snape seeing that.

“No!” he cried and found himself sprawled on the floor, gasping for breath.

“You might as well give up no and tell me. I can do this all night and you still can’t get me out of your head.” drawled Snape. Harry glared at him defiantly.

“Why do you even care?” spat Harry.

“If you didn’t realize, I am your legal guardian now. I would like to know about your former…..guardians.” said Snape silkily. Yeah right. Like he wanted to know how the Dursleys had treated him. Like Snape could be a better guardian than the Dursleys had been. Ha.

Harry had to suppress a snort at the thought of Snape trying to be better than the Dursleys. He’d treated Harry like crap for five years, why would he change his mind now?Because he’s your father, said a tiny voice at the back of his mind that sounded strangely like Hermione. Bugger off, he thought. Snape was not the parent type and he could never make up for the five years of hell that he’d put Harry through. So no, he wasn’t going to tell Snape a single thing about his childhood with the Dursleys.

“Well, I’m waiting,” prompted Snape.

“If you think I’m going to share my life with my last remaining relatives with you, then you’ve got another thing coming.” hissed Harry. Whoa, did Snape look………hurt? Good, the snarky bastard deserved it.

“Get out. We will resume this lesson tomorrow night.” said Snape. Harry walked out without another word.

“Oh, and Potter?” Harry stopped but did not turn around.

“There’s always Veritaserum.” There was the snarky bastard they all knew and loved.

He began walking back to his room. At least, he hoped he was. He wondered what the hell had happened to Snape. He had seemed almost………human. Eurgh. That was just too weird a thought to contemplate. He walked up the stairs and found his room. He flopped down unceremoniously on his bed and immediately fell asleep without changing his clothes.

* He was in the Department of Mysteries again, watching Sirius fall through the veil. Only this time, he was the only one there with Sirius.

“Sirius! Come back!” he screamed. All of a sudden, a hand appeared from behind the veil and pushed it aside. Harry could see that Sirius was emerging from the veil.

“Sirius, you’re alive!” yelled Harry happily as he ran over to where Sirius stood.

“No, I’m not alive,” hissed Sirius menacingly.

“You killed me.” Harry stepped backwards.

“No, I’m sorry Sirius! I didn’t mean to!” cried Harry. The ghost of Cedric appeared.

“You killed me too, Harry.” said Cedric.

“No, no,” Harry fell to his knees. His parents appeared, no his mum and James.

“You killed us Harry.” said his mum.

“Wasn’t I a good enough father for you?” asked James.

“Now it’s time for you to join us.” said Sirius, stepping closer to Harry. Sirius’ hand gripped his shoulder tightly. It felt as though hot knives were cutting through his skin.

“No, I’m sorry,” protested Harry. Sirius pulled him over to the veil and pushed him through it and Harry screamed. *

He opened his eyes with Sirius’ words still echoing in his ears. You killed me. He had killed Sirius. And Sirius wasn’t the only one he’d killed. Cedric, his mum, James. He’d killed them all. It was all his fault……

“All my fault,” he found himself muttering as he dragged the piece of glass across his arm.

This cut was much deeper than the others, and it stung as his blood dripped into the bathroom sink. No, he didn’t want to feel. He wanted it all to go away. He wanted out. He wanted to get away from everything. He growled fiercely at the injustice of life and slashed at his arm.

Several deep cuts later, Harry was starting to feel dizzy and nauseous. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, he thought as he fingers released their hold on the shard of glass. There was so much blood. The crimson liquid was every where, thought his hazy mind. He collapsed to the floor, hitting his head on the floor with a sickening crack.

~Snape’s POV~

Snape sat down in a leather chair near a lit fireplace. He wondered where this paternal instinct thing was coming from. He was not a father. He was not a father. He could not be a father. And he definitely could not be a father to Harry bloody Potter.

That could pose a problem, though. He really couldn’t keep calling the boy Potter, especially if he wasn’t one. He was a Snape. Eurgh. That was just wrong. He was a Gryffindor, for Merlin’s sake! Snapes just weren’t Gryffindors.

Potter was horrible at Occlumency. He was going to have to actually teach the boy Occlumency this time. It wouldn’t do to have the Dark Lord find out he was a spy because he hadn’t taught the boy Occlumency. Damn it. He got out of the chair and headed for Potter’sno, SnapenoP. Shit, he’d just thought himself in a circle.

Cursing, he knocked on the boy’s door. When he didn’t answer, he assumed the boy was sleeping and opened the door. He sighed in relief when he saw that the boy was not in his bed. At least he’s not asleep, though Snape. But then, where was he? Looking around the room, he noticed that the light was on and the door closed. He walked over and knocked on the door.

Hearing no answer, he said, “Potter, I’m coming in.” Snape tried to open the door, but found it locked. Why he had even put locks in the boy’s room he didn’t know.

“Dammit,” he muttered. His wand was downstairs in his study. Of course he wouldn’t have it with him when he needed it. He walked downstairs to retrieve his wand. When he returned to Harry’s room, he could swear he smelled blood.

Harry had still not left the bathroom. Madam Pomfreys last words before he’d Portkeyed Harry here kept ringing in his ears.

“….I would suggest you keep a close eye on him. I fear he may do something……drastic.”

He really hoped Harry hadn’t been that stupid. The last thing he needed was to take care of a suicidal fifteen-year-old. He opened the door and inwardly groaned. He had been that stupid.

“Oh shit, Harry!” said Snape as he knelt beside Harry and conjured bandages. He pressed a wad of bandages against Harry’s wrist with his left hand and Summoned some Healing potions with his right. He shoved his wand in a pocket and caught the vials as the flew towards him. He set them carefully on the floor and pulled the bandages away from Harry’s arm.

The blood had slowed down slightly but not much. He grabbed a vial of Starke Heilung Potion from the vials that he had Summoned. Snape uncorked the vial and poured the thick green liquid onto Harry’s wrist. The potion fizzed slightly as it sealed the cuts. Snape knew that it was only going to stop the bleeding, the cuts would have to heal on their own.

He muttered, “Scourgify,” sand the blood disappeared from the floor and Harry’s clothes. But blood was still coming form somewhere. Had he missed a spot? He looked over Harry and discovered a cut on his head. He must have hit his head. Snape picked up another vial of Starke Heilung Potion and poured it over the cut. He then took the bandages and wrapped them around Harry’s wrist and head.

He banished the potions to his office and picked up Harry. He was light, way too light for his age. He deposited Harry on his bed and began rooting through Harry’s trunk for anything he might hurt himself with. At the bottom of Harry’s trunk, he found a pile of broken glass wrapped in brown paper. He looked closer and saw that it was really the broken pieces of a mirror. He conjured up a bag and put the broken mirror in it. The only other potential danger he found was the a melted knife, which he left in Harry’s trunk. As it had no blade, it posed no threat to Harry.

He shut Harry’s trunk and stood back up. He pulled out his wand and removed the locks from the doors. The last thing he did before exiting the room was to cast a last look at Harry, his son. His son! Oh Merlin, he wasn’t ready for this.

He couldn’t be a father to the boy. He had no idea how to be a father. His own father certainly hadn’t acted like one. But he knew he had to try. After all, he had just lost his godfather, though he was a pathetic mongrel. He sighed and headed off to his study to inform Dumbledore of Harry’s suicide attempt.

~Harry’s POV~

He was lying on something soft. Was he dead? His head and wrist were aching. Oh shit, he wouldn’t hurt is he was dead, would he? He slowly opened his eyes to the green of his room. Oh bloody hell.

“Damn Snape,” he muttered as he pushed himself off the bed with his good arm. He found his glasses on the table by his bed and put them on. He looked at his wrist and saw that it was tightly wrapped in white bandages. He yanked them off and studied the cuts he had made. They were covered in a greenish goo and weren’t bleeding. He tried to rub away the goo, but it wouldn’t move.

“Damn Snape and his potions,” muttered Harry.

“My potions saved your life, or didn’t you want that?” said Snape. Dammit, that man had an uncanny knack for sneaking up on him.

“Go away. What I want is none of your business.” said Harry icily.

“I will go away once you’ve taken these potions.” said Snape, holding out two vials.

“I’d rather drink poison,” said Harry and turned his back to Snape. “You will drink these even if I have to force-feed them to you.” said Snape.

“Why don’t you just try it?” asked Harry. He knew he was asking for it, but he wasn’t doing anything Snape told him to without a fight. Snape grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face him. Harry glared at him. Snape raised his hand as if to slap him and Harry pulled away from him with a small whimper. He backed away from Snape until he hit the wall and stood there, watching Snape with wide eyes.

~Snape’s POV~

What the hell was going on? He took a step forward, then stopped when he saw Harry’s eyes. They were wide and filled with fear. Shit, Harry had thought that he was going to hit him. He felt a sudden rush of guilt, and quickly set the potion vials on the table beside Harry’s bed and retreated from the room. As he shut the door, he vowed to figure out what had happened to Harry.

~Harry’s POV~

As soon as Snape was out of the room, Harry collapsed to the floor with a sigh. Snape was no better than the Dursleys. He was going to hit him, for Merlin’s sake! He wondered what the potions that Snape had left were. He got off the floor and picked up the vials. One was a dark pink and the other and brilliant turquoise. Well, he wasn’t going to drink them. He took them to the bathroom and poured them down the sink. The hissed slightly as they mixed together and slid down the drain.

As he turned to head back to this room, something shiny caught his eye. He bent down to see what it was and saw that it was the shard of glass that he’d had earlier. He wondered why Snape hadn’t taken it. Harry picked it up and headed back to his room to put it in his trunk.

When he opened his trunk, he realized that someone had been in it. As far as he knew, there were only three people in the house: Twinkle, Snape, and himself. House-elves wouldn’t go through someone’s stuff without permission, so that left only one person: Snape. Cursing under his breath, he dug furiously through his trunk. The broken mirror was gone. That bastard. He slammed the lid of his trunk shut and kicked it. Dammit, all that gave him was a sore foot.

He surveyed the room, looking for somewhere to hide the glass. If Snape knew he still had it, he’d take it away too. He spotted the mahogany desk and limped over to it. He pulled open the top drawer and found several rolls of parchment, a few quills and bottles of ink, and a roll of Spell-O-Tape. Harry grinned as he pulled out the Spell-O-Tape. He ripped off a piece and stuck the glass onto it. He knelt down and shut the drawer with a satisfied smirk. He then set the potion vials back on his desk. He was about to sit on his bed when Twinkle popped into the room.

“It is beings time for young Master Potter to be goings to dinner. Twinkle is to be escorting young Master Potter tos the dining room.” said Twinkle.

“I’m not going,” said Harry.

“Master Snape is goings to be angry if yous isn’t coming down.” said Twinkle. “Twinkle is havings orders to make young Master Potter comes with Twinkle.” Harry sighed. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to get out of this.

“Fine, show me the way.” said Harry. He followed Twinkle to the dining room, which was a few doors down from the library. Snape was not in the dining room when Harry walked in. Twinkle led him to a seat and gestured for him to sit down. Just as Harry was sitting, Snape stalked into the room.

“I see you’ve decided to grace me with your presence, Mr. Potter.”

“I didn’t have a choice, now did I?” said Harry. “And I’m not exactly a Potter, am I?” he added under his breath.

“Quite right, you’re a Snape,” said Snape smartly. Apparently he had heard him.

“I’m not your son.” replied Harry nastily. Did Snape look hurt? Oh well. He was only getting what he gave. Snape sat down without another word. He snapped his fingers and food appeared on the plates. Harry felt sick at the smell of the food. However, Snape glared at him in a way that meant eat now, so Harry picked up his fork and began poking at his food. The meal passed slowly, with Harry taking a tiny bite every time Snape looked at him suspiciously.

After twenty minutes of the relentless silence, Harry dropped his fork and asked, “Can I go now?”

“Yes, do not forget your Occlumency lesson.” said Snape. Harry pushed back his chair and practically ran from the room.

What was up with Snape? One minute he was a bastard, the next he was acting almost…………well, like a father.

Deciding to decipher Snape’s moods later, he headed to his room. After lying listlessly on his bed for some time, he checked his watch and found that it was time for his Occlumency lesson. He proceeded to go downstairs and opened what he though was the door to the room he’d practiced Occlumency in before.

Instead, he entered what looked like Snape’s office. How was he supposed to know which was which, the doors all looked the same to him. Knowing that what he was doing was stupid, he stepped further into the room and saw an opened letter lying on Snape’s desk.

It was partially folded, but Harry could see a tiny picture of a lily that had been on his letter from his mum. As he bent forward to look more closely at the letter, he felt a hand grip his shoulder tightly.

***Flashback***

His Uncle’s pudgy hand gripped his shoulder as he headed for the stairs.

“We’re not finished yet, boy. You didn’t do all of your chores. You know what that means.” said his Uncle as he sneered at Harry, much like a certain hated Potions Master. His Uncle punched him in the stomach, causing him to collapse on the floor, gasping for breath.

“No, no, no,” he muttered as he was grabbed roughly by the arm and yanked to his feet.

“No more than a freak like you deserves.” said his Uncle. Harry struggled to get out of his Uncle’s grasp, but his grip was too tight. His Uncle began to shake him and he could hear his name.

“Harry!” He realized that it was not a part of his memory. His Uncle had never called him Harry.

***End Flashback***

He blinked his eyes and found himself back in Snape’s office.

~Snape’s POV~

Snape was stalking down the hallway, looking for PonoHarry, when he saw that his office door was open. He walked into the room and saw Harry bent over his desk. He walked over and gripped Harry’s shoulder. He was startled byHarry’s reaction, which was to cry out and collapse on the floor. Harry began moaning and whimpering.

“No, no, no,” muttered Harry from the floor. Snape knelt beside him and shook him slightly, trying to get him to snap out of whatever was happening.

“Harry!” Harry blinked and stared up at Snape with startled eyes. Snape was still holding his shoulders and Harry pulled away from him, yet Snape pulled him closer, almost into a hug.

“No, let me go,” said Harry, fighting to get away. Tears were streaming down his face.

“Harry, you need help,” said Snape. Harry really needed help, or he was going to end up trying to kill himself again. Snape released Harry and set him back on the floor.

“Stay here Harry. I’ll be right back.” said Snape. Snape ran out of his office and down to the basement, where his potions lab and stores were located. He grabbed several vials of Calming Draught and ran back to his office, where Harry was still sitting in the same place where he had left him. He looked to be awake, but when Snape knelt beside him, he could see that Harry’s eyes were closed tightly, and he was muttering under his breath again.

“Harry!” No response. He selected a vial of the potion and stuffed the others in his pocket. He uncorked the vial and held it to Harry’s lips. Harry jerked away violently, almost spilling the potion.

“Harry, drink this,” said Snape, holding out the potion. Harry’s eyes were open again and he was looking suspiciously at the vial.

“No, how do I know it’s not poison?” asked Harry. Great, he was back to his attitude.

“Just drink it. It will make you feel better.” said Snape.

“No,” said Harry. He jumped to his feet and backed away, heading for the open door. Snape re-corked the vial and stood up, then cursed loudly. In the few seconds he had looked down, Harry had disappeared. Oh bloody hell. It was going to take him forever to find Harry.

~Harry’s POV~

Harry ran through the endless hallways, just trying to get away from Snape. He knew what Snape was doing. He was going to act all nice until he found out what the Dursleys had done. Well, he wasn’t giving up without a fight.

He finally stopped in front of a closed door in what looked to be the basement of the house. He opened the door and stepped inside. He shut the door and instantly the room was bathed in a light golden glow. He surveyed the room and found that it was full of what looked like Dark objects. The Snape family stash, he thought with disgust.

He was about to leave the room and find a new hiding place when he caught sight of a gleaming silver dagger. He picked it up and saw that it had what looked like the Snape family crest. There was a green S with a sliver snake winding around it at the base of the blade. A leather sheath lay next to where the dagger had been resting. He put the dagger in it and put it in his pocket. He then snuck back up to his room.

~Snape’s POV~

Where in the name of Merlin had that idiot child gone, wondered Snape as he headed to his study to Floo the bloody werewolf. Surely the boy would talk to him. He tossed a handful of glittering powder into the fire and said, “Lupin!” The werewolf’s head popped into the fire.

“What do you need Severus?” asked Lupin.

“I need you to come here. We’re having a bit of a problem,” said Snape.

Apparently, Lupin had gotten his meaning because he said, “Hold on. I’ll be through in a minute.” Snape sat down and moments later, Lupin came through the fire.

“What did you need me fore?” asked Lupin.

“I received a letter from Lily several days ago saying that Potter was my son. The Order, as I’m sure you know, was worried about his well-being. I rescued him from his rather nasty family and brought him here.” Lupin didn’t look concerned at all. Dumbledore might have told the Order about him and Harry already.

“The reason I need you here is because he’s suicidal and he ran off about ten minutes ago. I need you to help look for him.” Lupin’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“He didn’tI mean”

“Stop your gibbering Lupin. He tried to kill himself by slashing his wrists with pieces of a broken mirror.” said Snape. Lupin stared at him for a minute, then dug into the pocket of his shabby robes.

“Like this?” asked Lupin, holding up a small, square mirror.

“Yes, I have the pieces now.” said Snape.

“I found this one in Sirius’ old room. I can fix it, if you want.” said Lupin.

“Later, we need to find Potter right now.” said Snape.

Lupin shoved the mirror back in his pocket and asked, “Where do you want me to look?”

“Second floor. That’s where Potter’s room is. I’ll do the first and the basement and have Twinkle do the third.” said Snape. He pointed out the stairs to Lupin and went down to the basement to begin searching.

~Harry’s POV~

Harry sat with his back to the door of his bathroom. He had hidden the dagger under the bottom drawer of his desk and now had the tiny piece of glass. He had tried to cut his left arm again, but the green goo that was still on it prevented him from doing any damage to it. He pressed the rip of the glass to his arm and began to drag it across his pale skin.

He heard the door to his room open and jerked his arm back, creating a jagged line across his arm. He bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain and jumped to his feet, putting his arms behind his back. He stuck the glass in his back pocket and pressed his wrist into his back to try and stop the bleeding before Snape entered the bathroom.

“Harry are you in there?” Oh hell, that wasn’t Snape, it was Professor Lupin. What was he doing here? Why would he even want to be here? After all, Harry had just killed his best friend. He leaned against the counter, trying to look as thought he was just standing there doing nothing.

“Harry, if you’re in there, I’m coming in.” said Lupin. The door slowly opened, revealing Lupin’s face. He was looking worse than when Harry had last seen him at King’s Cross Station, which seemed months ago, though it had actually only been weeks. His robes were shabbier and his hair grayer.

He probably hated Harry. Harry began to get nervous and backed away from Lupin.

“What’s wrong?” asked Lupin, stepping closer to Harry.

“Nothing, just go away and leave me alone.” said Harry.

“I want to help you Harry.” said Lupin, coming even closer.

“No, please go away.” said Harry.

“Harry come out of here. Severus is quite concerned about you.” said Lupin, stretching out his arm and placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry cried out and jumped away. He fell back against a wall and collapsed to the floor, hugging his knees.

***Flashback***

Lupin started towards him, but all Harry could see was his Uncle walking towards him, Dudley’s Smelting Stick held in one pudgy hand.

“My Dudders got expelled from Smeltings. What did you do to him?” yelled his Uncle.

“Nothing, I”

“You curse my Dudders, didn’t you? You were jealous because my Dudders goes to a better school that your freaky school!”

“No, I swear I didn’t!” protested Harry.

He was being shaken, but his Uncle’s hands were nowhere near him.

“No, no. Let me go,” he protested weakly.

*** End Flashback***

“Harry!” Harry blinked his eyes several times and could see Lupin again.

“Are you okay Harry?” asked Lupin.

“I’m fine,” said Harry, pushing Lupin’s hands off of him and standing up. He could see now that Snape was standing in the doorway, a letter clutched in his hand and an odd look on his face.

“Dumbledore would like us to take you to Diagon Alley to get your school supplies early.” said Snape.

“But I haven’t even gotten my OWL scores yet.” said Harry.

“Dumbledore said that he has them already, but you will get them the same time as the rest of your classmates. He feels that it will be safer for you to go now than later when Diagon Alley is crowded. I have your list of supplies. He sent a Portkey for us to use today.” said Snape.

He held up a Chocolate Frog box. Harry and Lupin stepped forward and touched it. Instantly, Harry felt the jarring tug behind his naval. Seconds later they arrived in the tiny courtyard behind The Leaky Cauldron.

Snape and Lupin took him to Gringotts to get money, then they spent several hours buying new school supplies. Their last stop was Flourish and Blotts.

Snape and Lupin stayed outside with the rest of Harry’s purchases while he went in to get the books he needed. He got all the sixth-year texts and then wandered to the back to see if there were any interesting books he could get. He was kneeling on the ground looking at the bottom shelf of a bookcase when he felt a hand on his arm.

Thinking it was Lupin or Snape, he said, “Go away. I’m still looking.”

“Awww, is bitty baby Potter trying to study?” Oh hell, he knew who that was.

“Lestrange,” he hissed, twisting away from her.

“My Master will be so pleased when I bring you to him.” she said gleefully. Yeah, right. Like that was going to happen. Snape and Lupin were right outside. He looked around Bellatrix and inwardly groaned.

There was a tall bookcase blocking the both of them from sight. Harry cursed himself for getting out of the view of his guard. He began moving slowly towards the opening between the tall bookcase and another one. Maybe he would be lucky and they would see him.

“Oh no you don’t,” said Bellatrix. She grabbed his arm and he flinched, trying to pull away from her. She pulled out her wand and said, “Stupefy.” Harry couldn’t duck because of her tight grip and the jet of red light hit him, knocking him unconscious.