Finding You Again by jjjm0808

December 2, 1991

Sunday night rolled around, and Severus was sitting in Dumbledore’s office waiting for the man to tell him what he can and cannot do with his son. After yesterday’s emotional turmoil, Severus was prepared to start a war with Dumbledore if he tried to use Harry as his pawn in his little game of life. Much to his dismay, Severus thought back to the conversation he had to have with Harry yesterday.

**** (FB)

They were just finishing up with their tea after coming back to his quarters and warming up from their walk in the cold winter chill.

“Would you like to play a game of wizard chess, Harry?” Severus asked as he stood up to bring the tea tray back into the kitchen.

“Sure, that sounds fine, but could I ask you a question first?” Harry asked nervously.

Severus returned to the sitting room and could practically feel the anxiety rolling off the child. He knew what Harry wanted to talk about and he knew he would have to have this conversation with him at some point. He sighed and sat down next to Harry on the couch. “Of course,” Severus said as he turned to his son.

“What… what did you and Professor Dumbledore mean when you were talking about me being in danger whether I was in the castle or not?” Harry asked nervously.

Snape stayed quiet for a moment thinking about the best way to answer. He didn’t have time to prepare and now he wished he had written down speaking notes earlier. He knew this question would come up eventually, but how do you tell your eleven-year-old son that there are people who wish him dead? He figured being straightforward would be the best way to approach the situation. He didn’t want to keep everything from Harry, but he knew his son's Gryffindor courage would lead him to act imprudently trying to find his own answers.

“Harry, you have heard of the dark lord before, correct?” Severus began.

Harry thought for a second. “You mean Voldemort?” he asked innocently.

“Do NOT say the name,” Severus snapped at his son. When he saw Harry flinch slightly, Severus silently reprimanded himself. “I apologize, but his name… does not bring pleasant memories for me,” Severus said hesitantly.

“Sorry,” Harry said quietly.

Severus took a sharp intake of breath. “Right, well there are individuals who are still devoted followers of his and are hoping for his return someday… someday soon. There are many parents of Slytherin students who wish for their children to follow in their footsteps of becoming a supporter of the dark lord and have requested for their children to keep a watchful eye on you. Now, I am not saying all Slytherins are bad, but most followers of the dark lord do tend to come from the Slytherin house since most of Slytherin comes from the ‘pureblood’ nonsense.”

“You mean people like Malfoy?” Harry asked.

“Yes, the Malfoys are firm believers in purebloods. Furthermore, I wish you to not be alone with Draco. Now I am not saying Draco is a follower of the dark lord, but his father is, and Draco would do anything to please his father," Severus told Harry.

Harry nodded. He doesn't want to be anywhere near Draco anyway, so this shouldn't be too hard.

"Now before moving on, I need you to promise me Harry that this will never leave your mouth. What I am about to tell you is very dangerous for you to know, but I am only telling you because there are current inhabitants in the castle that I do not fully trust, and you should be aware of the imminent danger. Do you promise Harry?” Severus asked. He knew this was not a good idea but just in case his suspicions were right, he would rather Harry be made aware of the situation before it was too late.

“Yes, I swear dad I will not tell anyone,” Harry said fervently.

Severus’s heart swelled in his chest and he almost forgot the seriousness of the situation. He loved hearing that moniker come from Harry’s mouth. He looked into Harry’s emerald eyes and slowly raised his gaze to the lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. He was reminded of Lily’s sacrifice and knew he had to do everything to protect their son so she would not have died in vain.

“Harry,” Severus began with his voice thick with emotion. “There is an artifact that is currently here hidden safely in the castle. It would be very challenging to get to it, but I cannot say it is impossible. I believe that someone is working with… the dark lord to find it. If the artifact comes into possession of the dark lord, it would be very fatal for the rest of the world and especially to you. The dark lord will come after you because he believes you are the one that put a stop to him ten years ago.”

“But what is the artifact and why does he want it so badly?” Harry asked.

Severus straightened up and firmly gripped his son’s shoulders. “That is not something you are to concern yourself with. You are not to go and look for it, you are not to speak of it, you are not to be involved in any of it. I merely told you just because I do not wish you to be in the dark and I would like you to be cautious of your surroundings. I do not wish you to be alone with any staff member or student aside from those little Gryffindor friends of yours. Do you understand?” Severus asked while strengthening the hold on Harry’s shoulders.

“Yes! I promise I won’t do anything and that I will come to you if I need to,” Harry said.

“Good, now why don’t we indulge in a game of wizard chess, and then you should head back up to your dorm and finish that homework of yours,” Severus said while giving Harry a stern glare.

Harry sheepishly smiled. His dad always knew.

**** (end FB)

Severus’s thoughts were interrupted when Dumbledore came into his office.

“Ah, Severus my boy, thank you for meeting with me,” Dumbledore said.

Severus rolled his eyes. He didn’t really have much of a choice since the headmaster would hunt him down. “Yes headmaster, now I have some potions that require my attention so can we please get to the point here,” Severus said.

“Very well,” Dumbledore said as he sat down in his desk chair. He folded his hands on the desk and peered at Severus over his half-moon spectacles. “I do not appreciate you removing Harry from the confines of the wards around Hogwarts. I wish you would have consulted with me first.”

Severus straightened up in his chair. ‘This man cannot be serious,’ he thought to himself. “I am very well equipped with the necessary skills that are required to protect my son, headmaster,” Severus snapped out. “I made sure there were precautions in place and speaking of the ‘safety of the castle’,” he said sarcastically, “Harry is in just as much danger here than he is anywhere else. You know my suspicions of a certain professor, but it seems as though nothing has been done,” Severus said raising his brow at the headmaster.

“You know we cannot afford to act brash in this situation Severus. We must wait and see-” Dumbledore began.

“Wait for what? Someone to get hurt or even killed? For that someone to be Harry? What would you do then without your precious boy-who-lived?” Severus retorted.

Dumbledore sighed, “everything is under control, my boy. There is no way for Quirrell to get to Harry, I promise you that.”

“Yes, and your promises always follow through,” Severus said as he rolled his eyes again.

“Ah but Severus, I have a plan that I think you would like to hear," Dumbledore began. "Over the winter break, I will be requiring someone to follow Quirrell on his supposed trip to Europe that he told me he will be taking. This will allow us to see if there is anything that confirms our reservations on him."

“And who might this person be, Albus?” Severus asked. He had a feeling he knew who he was going to say but wanted to hear it for himself.

Dumbledore stayed silent for a moment. “You, my dear boy.”

Severus stood up and placed his hands on the headmaster’s desk. “No,” he said forcefully.

Dumbledore stood up as well and mimicked Severus’s stance. “Now Severus, you know you are the only one capable of going unnoticed by Quirinus. It has to be you.”

“Again, no,” Severus said just as forcefully as before. “I planned on bringing Harry to my home on Spinner’s End and having a quiet and enjoyable Christmas with my son, seeing as missed out on all of the previous years with him thanks to you,” he said angrily.

Dumbledore began to stroke his beard and sat back down in his chair. “Even if you did not have to go on the mission, I would not have allowed you to take Harry over the break, it is too dangerous.”

Severus slammed his palms down on the desk causing the knick-knacks to shake. “The hell with what you would have allowed or not allowed! Harry is my son! Mine! You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do with him! Furthermore, I would never place my son in danger!”

Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair. He considered Severus a son to him, but he couldn’t risk anything happening to his spy or Harry for that matter. He needed both of them if they were to be rid of Voldemort for good. “Now Severus,” he began. He knew he was about to cross a dangerous line here. “Did you or did you not plead for Lily’s life over your son on that fateful night?”

Severus saw red. “How dare you, you bastard! You know damn well I did not know my relation to Harry!” He straightened up and kicked the chair behind him sending it right against the stone wall. “You had no right to keep my son away from me! My son with my wife! My Lily! You have no right to control my relationship with him!” Severus ran his arm over Dumbledore’s desk sending everything crashing to the floor. “You have controlled my life for so long, I will not stand for it anymore!” He pulled out his wand and aimed it at the headmaster but then everything suddenly went black.

****

When Severus woke the next morning on his couch in the sitting room of his quarters, the last thing he could remember was every glass window shattering in the headmaster's office.

He stood up and went to the cabinet that held his fire whiskey and took a long swig from the bottle, relishing the smooth burn he felt as it went down his throat. After the burn disappeared, he threw the bottle at the stone wall and watched it shatter. Then for the first time in a long time, he fell to the floor and broke down into uncontrollable sobs.