Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Chapter 12
Creating a portrait of Professor Snape was a long and time-consuming process as Harry and Severus were discovering. While they were waiting they found many ways to keep themselves occupied with Harry showing Severus around all the secret passages and hidden crevices of Hogwarts and working on plans for a hidden herb garden for Severus with Neville and Professor Sprout.

One day at breakfast Harry received an invitation from Andromeda Tonks to come and visit and see his young Godson. Harry was delighted as he had not yet had the chance to meet Teddy and immediately replied that they would do so when it was convenient. That night Harry sat Severus down for a talk to explain things before reading to him.

"Tomorrow we're going to be visiting someone very special" Severus looked up at him questioningly. "my Godson Teddy, his parents died in the war and his grandmother Mrs Tonks is looking after him" he explained.

"Godson?" Severus asked, wondering what that meant.

"That's right, his parents were good friends of mine and made me his Godfather when he was born. That means that if something happened to them that they have nominated me as one of the people who they would like to look after him and act as a parent figure to him kind of like I have done for you" he explained smiling a faraway look on his face, Severus nodded feeling sleepy and only partially taking in his explanation "I think you'll like him Sev and Mrs Tonks" he said this time smiling down at him, he started reading from one of his favourite books about Merlin and King Arthur and before long Severus was sleeping peacefully. Harry gently caressed his cheek and brushed his hair off his face before tucking him in grateful that he was no longsuffering from the nightmares that had plagued him.

The next morning dawned bright and Harry helped Severus clean up and smooth out his hair and selected his best robes. He looked him over satisfied, he wouldn't like to admit it, but he was probably almost as nervous as Severus, he'd barely met Mrs Tonks before and with everything going on searching for Voldemort's Horcruxes and the subsequent battle he'd not yet had a chance to meet his godson. Hermione met them downstairs and gave his hand a squeeze sensing his nerves, Harry looked thankfully at her and scooped Severus up ready to use the floo.

A few moments later as they stepped out of the floo, Harry looked up to see the smiling face of Mrs Tonks approaching. For a moment he was reminded fo the first time he met her when he had been struck by her striking resemblance to her older sister Bellatrix but looking closer it was easy to see that the two sisters were a world apart in both looks and personality, whereas her sister's hair was dark and wild like her personality hers was a soft light brown and was neatly tied back off her face. Her eyes were a warm brown colour and surrounded by laughter lines and she walked with a grace and poise which reflected her upbringing.

"Harry" she greeted him warmly "it is good to see you, and you must be Severus" she said turning to him "it is a pleasure to meet you" she said politely smiling at him.

"And you ma'am" he replied shyly, grateful that she didn't rush to hug him.

Harry lowered him to the ground as she greeted Hermione "it's good to see you to Mrs Tonks" he said allowing her to embrace him briefly "how are you coping?" he added in a lower voice.

"Oh not too bad dear, we cope, please call me Andromeda" she continued leading them through to another room "come on through and have a seat" she said leading them through to an airy living room with several couches and a crib. She noticed that this was what had caught her guest's attention and motioned them over, talking quietly "and this is your godson Edward Lupin or Teddy as he has become affectionately known."

Harry looked down in amazement at his godson who was lying on his back looking up smiling and making baby noises to himself. He had a round face, tufts of ginger hair and slate blue eyes that reminded Harry of his father Remus Lupin who had been such a good friend and teacher to him. He stared mesmerised at the baby whose attention had shifted to him and was now staring curiously at this strange new person "hi" he eventually managed.

Severus crept forward trying to peek over to see in as well. He'd never seen a real baby before, at least not up close like this and was startled by how small he was with chubby, rosy cheeks, big wide eyes and pudgy little fingers. He wondered if he'd looked like this once. What was perhaps more startling was Harry's reaction to him, he appeared mesmerised by the baby and he wondered if there was something wrong with him. He was broken out of his thoughts by a voice.

"Oh my, it looks like he's picked up his mother's metamorphagus abilities, his hair was almost black when they brought him home but I swear it's a different colour every time I pick him up " she said laughing "would you like to hold him?" she asked Harry.

He startled before looking up at her "oh yeah sure" he replied nervously hoping he wouldn't do it wrong or drop him since he'd not had much experience with such young children.

She bent down and lifted Teddy out of his crib before approaching Harry and carefully placing him in his arms whilst instructing him on how to hold him properly to support his small body.

Harry stared down in wonder at the little body he was cradling and who appeared equally mesmerised by him and felt a strong urge to protect him like he had for Severus "hey little fella, I'm Harry your godfather, I knew your parents, they were good people, they died fighting so you could grow up without knowing the dark times they did, they can't be here with you now but I now they'd want to be and they'd love you just as much as I do" he told him in a soft voice as he walked over to one of the sofas.

He sat down and looked up to see Severus frozen in place watching him with a strange look on his face. He hoped Severus would like Teddy and maybe even someday come to see him as a little brother "hey Severus you want to come over and meet Teddy?" he urged him, he just stood there for a minute and shook his head. Harry was puzzled, he wasn't sure what was wrong but he seemed as though he was upset by something and might be on the verge of a panic attack, suddenly without warning he turned and ran out of the room.

"Severus, what's wrong? Wait!" he called trying to get up and go after him, handing the baby over to the person nearest to him when he felt a restraining hand on his shoulder he looked up at Mrs Tonks she shook her head.

"The poor dear's upset, I'd give him a few minutes to calm down first" she told him, he was about to protest, how could he let him run off like that when he had no idea where he'd gone, none of them knew the house or grounds or what trouble might present itself for an unsuspecting child.

She appeared to understand his unspoken concerns as she called out "Sobby" a moment later the familiar pop announced a House Elf apprating and stood before them was a relatively old distinguished-looking House Elf dressed in a smart tunic.

"Yes Mistress, how may Sobby be of service?" he asked in a polite voice that was somewhat lower than the excited high pitched tones he was used to.

"Sobby one of our guests, a young boy named Severus, has just run off. We have no idea where he may have gone, please go find him and make sure he doesn't get into trouble. We suspect he may be upset about something, please wait until he appears to have calmed down and then return and let us know where he is"

"Sobby understands he will do this Misstress, he will keep an eye on the young master and make sure he is not being seen so as not to frighten him"

"Very good Sobby go now" she told him, he bowed his head respectfully before popping away, leaving them to wait nervously for news.

Severus ran without having any idea where he was going. He ran through the small manor house until he reached some glass doors that appeared to lead out onto a garden. Cautiously he pushed the door outwards and walked out, he looked around not really taking in the lush lawns and well-tended flowerbeds and lowered himself to sit on the top stone step.

He wasn't sure what had happened, he'd just known that he'd needed to get out of there, it suddenly felt too constricted in there as though he couldn't breathe and he didn't know why just that it was somehow connected to how Harry had responded to the baby.

He tried to sort through his feelings he'd seen the way Harry had stared mesmerised, lovingly at the little baby and he'd felt what? Jealousy? No, he didn't think he was jealous, well maybe a little, he knew what it was like back in Cokeworth to see other families going past or playing in the park with their nice clothes and toys or ice creams and their happy families and feel a pang of envy for he knew that he'd never have even a little bit of that or so he'd thought. He didn't think that was specifically what he'd felt.

It was something else like a kind of panic that built up inside him watching Harry look lovingly at the baby brought up his insecurities. He was so used to that feeling of abandonment, well maybe not quite that but feeling unloved and being left to fend for himself, he still found it hard to believe that Harry really wanted to look after him and might even love him enough to adopt him no matter how many times people told him. This just made him feel confused, it made him worry, what if Harry loved this other boy more than him? What if he forgot about him? What if he changed his mind and decided he wanted to keep this other boy instead of him?

He'd experienced so little love and affection he was terribly afraid to lose the little amount he had if Harry suddenly decided to change his mind and that he didn't want him. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his one chance of a real family now that he was finally beginning to realise it was a possibility.

All these thoughts whirled around in his head making him feel dizzy like he couldn't breathe as he tried to calm himself down. He looked around and realised he was lost and the fear intensified, he felt so stupid running off like that he thought as he looked around the garden. It was a total contrast to the way he felt. It was a calm space with neat beds full of plants that flowed over onto the lawns and the only sounds were the bird song and the distant sound of running water, it was peaceful he thought as he began to calm down slightly.

Unknown to Severus, the little House Elf had made himself invisible and was watching and waiting while he got his emotions somewhat under control Satisfied that he was beginning to calm down Sobby popped silently away reappearing in the living room and startling Harry and Hermione.

"Ah Sobby, did you find him?"

"Did you find him?" Harry blurted out anxiously.

"Yes mistress, Sobby has found the young master"

"Where is he?"

Sobby turned to Harry "he is in the back garden. Would master Harry like Sobby to take him to him?"

"Yes please do" Harry confirmed anxious to find his child.

"Follow me sir" Sobby said leading the way. Harry nervously followed him down the corridor, he paused just before some glass doors and turned around putting a long knarled finger to his lips to indicate that he should approach quietly. Harry nodded as he turned back to the glass doors, he followed his gaze and saw a boy sitting on the top of the stone steps, Severus he thought relieved to see he was ok, Sobby watched him approach silently and soundlessly popped away.

Harry opened the door careful not to make any noise "hey you alright?" he called out softly from behind Severus, keeping his distance so as not to startle him. Even so he jumped slightly and whirled around as though startled he looked up at him briefly and then looked away as though he was embarrassed or expecting to be in trouble.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, Severus shrugged non-comitally. He lowered himself down next to him and glanced across at the boy, he looked upset and worked up "you know you had us worried there running off like that?" he told him pretending to look out at the garden whilst watching out of the corner of his eye.

Severus glanced up at him before drooping his head guiltily "I'm sorry"

"It's alright, the main thing is you're safe but it's not a good idea to go running off without telling someone where you're going, particularly when it's somewhere you've never been before" Severus nodded his agreement, he'd realised that the hard way, he was embarrassed by it but relieved someone had found him quickly.

There was a moment of awkward silence, as Harry realised Severus wasn't going to tell him what was wrong on his own "so you want to tell me what's wrong?" he asked

"It's nothing" came the embarrassed reply.

"Oh? I doubt it's nothing if it's got you so upset that it makes you feel like you need to run off it must be something important"

"It's silly you'll just laugh at me" Severus insisted feeling increasing embarrassed at his outburst and as though he just wanted to hide away.

"Come on I doubt it's silly if it's got you so upset, besides have you ever known me to laugh at you?" he shook his head, Harry did laugh at him when he was being silly of course but he'd always taken him seriously and never laughed when he was talking to him.

Slowly he lifted his head to look at him through blotchy tear-stained eyes "it's just when I saw you with him and you were looking at him like that, so ... so lovingly, I just felt ..." he paused unsure how to articulate it.

"Jealous?" Harry prompted.

He shook his head "no, well ok maybe a little but that's not it, I just it's stupid" he said not wanting Harry to know how afraid he'd been of losing him.

Harry placed his arm reassuringly on his shoulder "I'm sure it's not stupid."

Severus looked at him and felt fresh tears welling up "I just guess I was afraid you might love him more than me and you might not want me anymore and forget all about me" he blurted out his words spilling together.

Harry blinked at him in shock as he tried to understand what he'd just said. When he managed to piece it together he felt so guilty as he imagined how distraught he must have been feeling. He reached out and brought him in closer to him and hugged him tightly allowing him to sniffle into his chest, he realised how insecure his little boy really was that he still had fears about Harry abandoning him, then again he supposed he'd have been the same at that age if someone had offered him a real loving family.

He sighed "oh Sev, I'd never abandon you or leave you for someone else. I said I'd adopt you and I meant it" he said rubbing his back and thinking that they really needed to try to move the adoption along as quickly as possible to provide him with the reassurance he needed that he was serious about the adoption.

"You remember what I said to you last night about Teddy being my godson?" he nodded, he kind of half-remembered it "well you see Teddy was born during the war. Me and Hermione were away doing important work for the war and when we got back we headed straight into battle so this is the first time we've seen Teddy since he was born, he lost his parents in the battle so now he's an orphan just like you" he explained causing Severus to feel a pang of guilt.

"We both knew his parents, they were both good friends of ours, and his father was best friends with my Dad, they fought bravely and sacrificed their own lives so we could win the war and Teddy could grow up in a world free of conflict and evil"

Severus listened intently, feeling even more guilty "I'm sorry I messed up your big day, I didn't mean to cause so much trouble and mess everything up."

Harry placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "hey it's ok you didn't ruin anything and I'm not mad at you"

"You're not?" he asked looking up startled.

"No I'm not" he confirmed " I'm not mad at you for running off but we were all very worried about you when you ran off, we thought you might have gotten into some serious trouble" his head drooped at the reminder "you're not in trouble this time cause you were upset and it was a misunderstanding, but you can't go tearing off like that in the future, alright?"

Severus nodded his agreement, relieved that he wasn't in trouble "you could have got hurt or got lost and we may not have been able to find you, I don't like doing this but if you do that again then I will have to punish you ok?"

"Teddy may be pretty special to me because he's my godson and because of who his parents are but that doesn't mean he'll ever replace you and no matter how much I love him it doesn't mean that there isn't space in my heart to love both of you"

"Babies they just demand more attention, particularly when they're little like Teddy, that's why Mrs Tonks has been looking after him. You see us adults, we tend to go a bit gaga over the sight of a baby" Harry tried to explain, thinking about how he'd never really seen a baby before, certainly not one as small or as young as Teddy.

You see they can't do anything by themselves so they need someone to help them do everything. That's why every little thing they do is a big milestone and cause for celebration. Did your parents ever celebrate when you first learned to walk and talk for yourself?"

Severus shrugged, he couldn't exactly remember that far back "ok bad example, what about when you learned to read or write or tie your shoelaces?"

He pulled a face, no, he remembered there wasn't exactly a big celebration with the way his father spent money they couldn't always afford essentials let alone spending money on him "hmm my family never exactly celebrated my achievements either, well I'm sure they must have been proud?" Severus frowned, he remembered his Mum being with him those times, she always seemed tired and drawn but he noticed how her face lit up when he learned to read and write, he could tell that she was proud of him calling him her little scholar.

"Didn't you ever have a proper birthday party?" he shook his head, he'd never had anyone who wanted to be friends with him to invite for a party "cake? presents? cards?" he shook his head each time they'd never had the money to spare on such frivolities, he was lucky if he had a full belly on his birthday "yeah me neither" Harry admitted.

He sighed "oh Severus, I'm sorry life's not fair, I wish I could have been there for you sooner"

"It's alright it's not your fault" they both knew it, it was no one's fault that he'd come back as a five-year-old instead of as a younger child but it didn't make it any easier.

"I know but still I just wish you hadn't had to go through all that on your own, if I could have been there I would have. Well no more, we're going to make up for lost time, this year we're going to have a proper celebration for your birthday and a real Christmas and we're going to celebrate all your milestones from now on" he said determinedly.

"Thank you" Severus whispered overcome with emotions that someone would care that much about him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes both lost in their own thoughts until Harry tentatively broke the silence "you know someday when Teddy's older he might come to stay with us some of the time since I'm his Godfather, it'd be like having your own brother, would you like that?"

Severus looked at him in shock. He'd never thought about that, it was one thing coming to visit and maybe even playing with him here in someone else's home but having him stay in his own home was quite a different matter. He shrugged, unsure what to think of this, he'd never had any siblings after all although he'd seen plenty of kids playing together in the street and the park and they always seemed like they were having fun. He wasn't sure that he wanted Harry's love and affection to be split any more than necessary but then again he supposed that he'd always wondered what it would be like not to grow up alone to have someone to talk to and play with and just keep him company, maybe it could be fun.

"Guess you've never had any brothers or sisters huh?" Harry asked him.

He looked up and shook his head "did you?" he asked.

"Well, I grew up with my aunt and uncle and my cousin so I guess he was kind of like a brother" Harry said thoughtfully then thought of Dudley, who was always spoilt blaming him for everything, bullying him and Harry hunting. Hardly the best example of what a brother should be "on second thoughts scratch that he wasn't much of a brother. I never really had much idea of what it was like to be part of a family until I arrived at Hogwarts and met Ron and his brothers. He was my first real friend and he and his family accepted me without question and treated me like I was one of their own children. Suddenly it was like I had more brothers than I could imagine and even a sister, Fred and George were like the perfect fun older brothers always standing up for us, me and Ron were as much brothers as best friends, sure we bickered some but we always made up in the end and he nearly always had my back"

"So we'd be like a family even though we're not related?" Severus asked uncertainly.

Harry smiled at him "potentially yes, we'd be one big family. Family is about more than just blood Severus, my aunt was related to me by blood but she hated me just because she had never come to the terms that my mother had magic and was part of a world that she could never comprehend. The Weasley's, my Godfather Sirius, Remus and all my friends they accepted me without question, they stood up for me and fiercely protected me, they were my true family. You and Teddy may not be related but you were both orphaned and now you are both my children and that makes you like brothers"

"You know, being a big brother is a very important job" Harry told him, watching his reaction out of the corner of his eye.

Severus looked up at him in surprise "it is?"

"It is" he confirmed "Teddy will look up to you as his brother, he'll be able to relate more to you as you're nearer his own age and look to you to show him how to do things you take for granted, like tying your shoes, and it'll be your job to stand up for him and make sure no one picks on him. It's a big responsibility but I bet you can do it right?" Severus looked up listening intently, he wasn't sure he could but he suddenly felt a strong desire to protect him and prove to Harry that he was up to the responsibility.

He nodded suddenly, feeling determined to be a good big brother "good I knew I could rely on you" he said noting how his chest puffed out in pride at the praise "come on, I think we should get back to the others if you're ready? I'll bet they're getting worried about us" he said getting up and holding out his hand to him, Severus agreed and allowed Harry to lead him back to the others.

Andromeda looked up and greeted them as they entered "ah Harry, Severus there you are. I trust you sorted everything out?"

"Yeah we're good right Severus?" he replied giving his shoulder a squeeze and looking down at him for confirmation.

He nodded, feeling embarrassed "sorry for running away."

"That's quite alright dear, the main thing is that you're alright, now do you want to meet Teddy?"

He bit his lip hesitantly, looking up at Harry who smiled encouragingly before nodding determinedly.

Harry led him over to the sofa and put a hand reassuringly on his shoulder as Andromeda picked Teddy up and brought him over. She bent down to where he was lying on his back at the playmat reaching up to the toys dangled above him. She brought him over and with some help from both adults, showed him how to position his arms and support his neck and back as he held the baby.

He looked down as the adults stepped back and took in the little round rosy-cheeked face with the tuft of hair that was now a dark blue that was now peeking up at him, appearing equally fascinated by him. He was still only young but he filled up most of his lap and Severus was surprised how much bigger he looked than he had in the crib.

"Hi" he managed to croak out, "I'm Severus, Harry says I'm like you're big brother if you'll have me that is, I've never had a brother" he found himself explaining as the baby watched him intently, as though not sure what to make of him. Suddenly his face broke into a wide smile and he started to gurgle and make happy baby noises and reach out with his tiny pudgy hands. He looked up at the adults for guidance who nodded encouragingly at him and he adjusted him so he could reach out one of his hands to him. Teddy reached out and clasped his hand round one of his fingers, Severus looked down in amazement as he tried to get the finger in his mouth.

"Looks like someone's hungry, I'll get one of the House Elves to make him up a bottle and prepare us some lunch while he goes down for a nap"

"It looks like he likes you Sev" Harry said smiling, Severus looked up at him astonished, "you want me to take him for a bit?" he asked.

Severus nodded only slightly reluctantly, for a small baby he was surprisingly heavy (at least for a small child) and his arms were beginning to get a bit tired. He gratefully passed him back to Harry as Mrs Tonks appeared with a bottle.

"You want to have a go at feeding him Harry?" she asked.

"Uh sure" he replied and Severus watched as she showed him how to feed and burp him and hold the bottle so he didn't drink it down too fast. It was fascinating watching him guzzle it down greedily.

The rest of the day passed in a blur and before they knew it they were flooding back to Hogwarts with a thoroughly exhausted child and Andromeda insisting that they come and visit again soon. The next day Harry and Hermione took Severus down to visit Hagrid and while he was exploring the long grass for rare creatures and plants that could be used in potions with Fang the adults sat down to chat and watch him from a distance.

"So how's he doing, is he settling in alright?" Hagrid asked.

"Better since we dealt with his nightmares but he still has issues with confidence and low self-esteem I think, he still worries that I may change my mind about adopting him and abandon him, he thought I may forget about him when he saw me with Teddy" Harry explained.

"Hm mighty shame that still it takes time to get over trauma like what he's been through and build confidence"

"You got any ideas Hagrid?" Hermione asked.

He looked thoughtful for a minute as he scratched his bushy beard as he watched him playing "you could get him a pet reckon that'd distract him and take his mind off of things."

Harry and Hermione exchanged sceptical glances before Hermione looked thoughtful "uh are you sure that's a good idea Hagrid I mean owning a pet's a big responsibility"

"Actually I think he may be on to something, studies have shown that it's good for children to have a pet growing up, it's a good way for them to learn about what it takes to care for an animal and be responsible and it helps them build confidence"

"Ah nonsense, Hermione's right having a pet'll do him a world of good, I always had pets when I were a wee nipper and they never did me any harm" they looked at him skeptically, the memory of Hagrid hiding Aragog in the castle sprung to mind.

"Uh did you have any ideas what sort of pet?"Harry asked worried about what kind of thing Hagrid might think was an appropriate pet.

He scratched his beard again "hm well I've got one or two ideas but I'll have to get my thinking cap on for that I reckon, give me a bit of time to call round some of my old contacts and I'll get him sorted with something don't yer worry"

They exchanged nervous glances, not feeling totally reassured by this and wondering what he might come back with "uh ok Hagrid just remember who we're dealing with, alright, it's got to be something child-friendly" he said emphasising the last part.

"Don't yer worry, I know what I'm doing, you just leave it to me and I'll get him sorted with the best pet you've ever seen" Hagrid promised looking far too happy and eager for comfort. Harry exchanged a look with Hermione and wondered just what they'd agreed to.

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