"Goodness!" Emmeline cried as another gust rattled the windows. "Are the storms always this bad, Severus?"

"You should see the winters." The man muttered over his tea as he read a potions magazine. 

"I'm bored." Harry declared. He didn't care if Snape decided to cure his boredom with chores, or some revolting dissection. He just wanted something to do! 

"I have an entire shelf of Agatha Christie novels," Snape muttered without looking up. "You're free to read them."

"I'm sick of reading," Harry complained. He'd gotten his new textbooks mailed in a few days ago and had spent that time finishing up his homework. He was definitely read out. Snape gave him a thoughtful glance. Then he turned to Emmeline. Harry frowned as the pair shared a silent conversation. Then suddenly Emmeline blinked.

"Oh!" She suddenly cried, "I completely forgot about my appointment!" Then she quickly got up and began rummaging around in her trunk for an outer cloak. 

"What for?" Harry asked casually.

"Harry!" Snape admonished. "Don't be rude!"

"Hush Severus," Emmeline scolded. "It's just a healer's appointment. A check-up. I'll be back by dinner." Emmeline assured him before she snapped the cloak over her shoulders and stepped up to the floo. Then, calling out for the magical hospital, she was gone. There was a stretch of semi-awkward silence, cut by the occasional window rattling gust or peel of thunder before Snape cleared his throat.

"Tell me, Harry, do you play chess?" He asked as casually as he could. Harry blinked.

"Er. Well, I'm not very good, but Ron and I have played a few games." Harry offered. Severus hummed in thought. 

"Ronald Weasley would be a difficult opponent," Severus remarked. Harry blinked at him.

"How do you know?" He asked. Severus rolled his eyes. 

"Minerva has a record of the moves from that match down in the secret chambers. She has been playing chess for more than 60 years and even still, Weasley was able to beat her. She even tried to get a name for the last two moves with the knight and the bishop. She wanted to call it the 'Weasley gambit'." The man huffed slightly, "she is unnaturally proud of all your rule-breaking." Harry grinned widely.

"That match was even more astounding to watch. And to be fair, I didn't really see how everything was going out until the end." Harry admitted. Severus raised an eyebrow. 

"The fact you recognized the play is still moderately impressive. You hadn't played much chess before, had you?"

"Not loads," Harry admitted. "Ron and I have played a lot more since." Snape nodded and went over to one of the bookshelves, he leaned down and opened the bottom cupboard and returned with a somewhat bulky chest box. The board was framed with cherry, while the squares were polished white marble spider-webbed with thin black lines and dark varnished pine. Harry gaped in awe. It was stunning.

"A Christmas present from Minerva a few Christmases ago," Severus explained. "Please be very careful with the pieces." Harry went about setting up the white prices, admiring every piece as he did. The stone was cold to the touch and the carving was so smooth, and the veins seemed to dance across the surface. It was really a marvel. "Now. Before we begin, I'd like to add a rule."

"Huh?" Harry asked casually.

"I have noticed you seem to be possessed of an insatiable curiosity." Harry blushed slightly. 

"Er well, I-" he stuttered out sheepishly.

"I would like to propose that we use this game to indulge it. In order to move a piece, one must answer a question. The answer must be truthful. Once you move the price you must ask your opponent another question. We will continue in this vein until the game is complete." Severus explained before giving Harry a raised eyebrow. “is this suitable?”

"Sure!" Harry said gleefully. Finally, he could get more answers about him and Emmeline;

"Very well Harry," Severus said before he cleared his throat. "For my first question, I’d like to ask what you did for fun during the summer last year." Harry blinked. Last summer? He hadn't really been let out of his room last summer. Especially not after the incident with Dobby. That was until he was rescued. A grin spread across his face.

"I helped de-gnome Ron's garden," Harry said with a smile. "I know that's technically a chore for most people, but I'd never seen a gnome before, and the way you get rid of them is hilarious!" For some reason, Snape narrowed his eyes. But Harry didn't mind as he moved his first pawn out to free his rook. Then he grinned at his professor.

"How long did you and Emmeline date?" Snape rolled his eyes. Of course, Harry would use this session to squeeze out more information about himself and Emmeline. He'd hoped it would have something to do with his youth again, but apparently, the boy was more clever than he'd given him credit for. 

"Four years." Severus supplied before he moved his queen's side bishop's pawn. Harry blinked.

"But you said you started dating her in your seventh year… you still dated her after you left Hogwarts?" Harry questioned incredulously. 

"On question per turned Harry." Severus admonished. Harry huffed. "What did you do for fun back on Privet Drive?" Harry blinked. That one was much trickier. He mostly did chores all day. And he didn't have much in the way of entertainment in his cupboard or Dudley's second bedroom unless he wanted to play with his cousin's broken toys. So he shrugged and decided to answer truthfully. "I actually don't mind gardening. My aunt had this rose bush that had been slowly dying forever that I managed to bring back to life." A small smile crossed his face. "Dan was furious that first summer they bloomed again." Severus raised an eyebrow but didn’t react as Harry moved his piece. As Harry finished his play and gave his teacher an expectant look Severus huffed.

"To answer your previous, though illegal, question. Yes. I continued to date Emmeline the two years she remained at Hogwarts." The man's gaze grew rather far away. "I won't lie and say it didn't negatively affect it. Things definitely didn't get better." He moved his price. "Who is Dan?"

"He's my neighbour," Harry explained merrily. "He and Annie are unusually nice for Privet Drive. Dan used to have the prettiest roses on the street before I saved aunt Petunia's bush. We used to share gardening tips all the time." Harry answered. Of course, he hadn't talked to the man in a whole year now, since he'd been trapped inside half of the last summer, and this year he'd gone to Bristol in the first week before his aunt even asked him to tend her garden again. Suddenly his face fell. The rose bush! It was probably completely dead by now! He'd completely forgotten about it until now. He sighed and moved his piece, suddenly feeling depressed. All that hard work for nothing. Then he shook himself.

"When did you two break up?"  Snape flinched but sighed.

"December of 1979. About a week before Christmas." Severus murmured. Harry gapped.

"You broke up with her near Christmas?! I'm a guy and even I know that's cold!" He admonished. Snape sent him a withering look which Harry huffed at him. Snape moved another piece.

"Emmeline tells me you helped your aunt in the kitchen. How often did you do that?" He questioned.

"Oh all the time," Harry admitted freely, "unless my aunt was making something fancy, then you'd better get out of her way. Last year she made this massive two-tiered pudding with icing roses and cherries for one of Uncle Vernon's work contacts. It was honestly pretty spectacular. It took her hours." Then Dobby showed up, dropped it on the important guest's wife's head and got Harry locked up for the rest of the summer. He scowled at the memory. Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry's look. There seemed to be more to that story that Harry wasn't touching on. 

"How did you and Emmeline keep dating while she was still at Hogwarts?" He asked casually.

"I would come and visit her during Hogsmeade visits, and of course, we wrote to one another. She came to visit me during the Christmas break as well of course, and we spent our summers together." Severus recalled. His chest tightened as he thought back to those days. Back when he didn't realize the mistakes he was making would damn him for all time. He had been so carefree with Emmeline. She had guided him through the loss of his parents. 

"What's Hogsmeade?" Harry asked in confusion. Then he blinked. Snape waved his hand in assent. He knew that wasn't to be Harry's actual question, simply a request for clarification. 

"It's a village not far from Hogwarts, students year three and up can visit the village, provided they have permission from their parents or guardians. I am not sure Albus is continuing the tradition this year, however. With the recent attacks and Sirius Black running amok, the risk on the students would be too great." Severus explained. He moved another piece scanning the board again. "Do you still speak with your friends from primary school?" He offered. He knew the boy probably attended some kind of institution. Unless Petunia homeschooled him, but he remembered her from his youth and knew she wouldn't have patience for such rubbish. 

"I didn't really have any friends in primary." Harry admitted quietly. Severus blinked.

"Not one?" He demanded. Harry shrugged.

"My cousin's scared most of the other kids off." He mumbled. Severus frowned. So Harry's cousin had been a bully? Hmm. He wondered if his parents had known. He probably saw Harry as a rival for their affection. Harry moved his piece. "Did you have any friends growing up?" Snape's heart twisted. He'd known it would come up after he asked. He'd tried to prepare himself. Yet somehow, he still had to swallow a lump to speak.

"Yes," he began as casually as he could. "A young girl named Lily Evans." Harry gaped at him.

"You knew my mum?!" He cried in shock.

"We grew up together," Severus admitted. "She was my only friend for many years, and we remained friends for several years while attending Hogwarts." Before I bollocksed everything up to save my ego. He paused and took in Harry's face and leaned back. The boy looked lost. His face showed that he had a million and one questions to ask and Severus knew it wouldn't be fair to move on just yet. Finally, Harry seemed to pull his question out from the jumble.

"What was she like?" He asked desperately. Then he looked down at his hands. "It's just… well no one ever talks about her. They're always going on about how much I look and act like my dad. Seems like the only thing I got from my mum was my eyes." He declared bitterly.

"You received much more than your eyes from your mother." Severus declared, making Harry look at him as if he were a spring in the middle of the desert. "Your tenacity. Your drive. A stubborn streak a mile wide." Harry choked out a strangled laugh. "Even your perchance for practical jokes."

"I thought that was my dad's thing," Harry remarked. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Oh certainly, but James Potter took it to absurd levels. Lily was more of a casually practical joker. She liked to tell rather witty dry jokes at other people's expense that most of our peers didn't really understand." Severus explained. Harry could tell from the tone that his professor had been one of the few who could. Harry smiled. Severus could see the boy was a lot more stable and so he moved his piece. "Did your aunt never speak of your mother?"

"No," Harry said flatly. "I wasn't allowed to talk about magic. I couldn't even say the word." Severus's eyebrows rose.

"At all?" He remarked in utter confusion. He understood the banning of performing or practicing magic, that was just the law after all, but not even talking about it? Surely Harry had misunderstood. But the boy just silently nodded and was becoming slightly uncomfortable under the scrutiny. Severus looked away feeling slightly hollow inside. Surely Petunia must have known what doing that to her nephew could have led to. She wasn't ignorant of the magic world.  And yet. Severus turned back to the board as Harry moved his piece. This game had already lasted almost an hour, rather surprising since Harry had claimed to be so middling. He didn't have a perfect strategy, but he had taken a few pieces. 

"Where did you get your tattoo?" 

Severus froze.

The boy had asked it with casual nonchalance but his eyes were glittering with mirth as if he expected there was a rather embarrassing story about getting drunk, or maybe a dare. 

But there had been no dare. No drunken stumbles accompanied by equally drunken friends. Just a foolish lonely old bastard in way over his head. 

"That's enough for now," Severus said coldly. Harry blinked then scowled.

"Hey! That's not fair! You can't just end the game now!"

"Go to your room." Severus declared, getting angry. Harry stood up from the couch, looking furious.

"What did I do to deserve that?! All I asked was where you got your tattoo!"

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Severus roared. Harry flinched. Suddenly he seemed to realize who he was arguing with. Severus for his part was starting to feel sick to his stomach. He put a shaky hand to his eyes. "Just go." He begged with a whisper. So Harry turned and fled. Severus continued to stare at the chess board in front of him grappling with everything that had been said and done. 

Emmeline stepped out of the floo with a grin.

"Boys! I brought ice cream back from Fortescue's!" She cried happily. She'd popped into Diagon and was happy to see if had mostly recovered from the death eater attack, though she attributed that mostly to the stubbornness of the shopkeepers themselves, and less to the ministry, whose only response had been to put two rather lazy and bored looking Aurors at the entrance. But only silence hung in the air. She frowned and looked around. There was a half-finished chess game on the coffee table but otherwise, everything seemed to be the same it had been when she left. Maybe they'd gone into town? Emmeline turned to put the ice cream in the freezer and froze. Severus was slumped into his arms, a half-empty bottle of scotch on the table next to a tumbler. She groaned. So the game of questions hadn't gone well.

"Severus." She repeated before she shook him awake. He violently flinched back before grasping his head in agony.

"Green potion." He begged with a slur. Emmeline almost didn't want to give it to him. But she didn't want to punish him more than he'd already done to himself. So she found the little green bottle, one of several tucked into Severus' liquor cabinet and gave it to him. The man downed it before he groaned and buried his face in his arms again. 

"I take it you just remembered what you got black-out drunk for," Emmeline murmured. But she froze when the man looked up again. There were tears on his cheeks. Tears she hadn't seen since he'd come to her with the news that his mother was dead and his father was now a man he scarcely recognized. Instantly she wrapped her arms around him and whispered into his hair that she was there. That she was willing to hold him. After a few minutes, which Severus tried and failed to stop shaking in silent tears he croaked out an explanation.

"He asked about the mark." Emmeline froze. "I… I didn't know what to tell him, Emmeline. I just… I sent him to his room."

"Gently I hope," Emmeline whined. But Severus groaned and she knew that that was not the case. "Oh, Severus."

"There's more Emm." He mumbled tiredly. The woman sighed. Severus hadn't called her Emm since they were still at Hogwarts. It spoke to just how vulnerable he was feeling. "Something was wrong with that house."

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't allowed to say the word magic," Severus told her. Emmeline blinked.

"What? Not even the word?"

"No, Emm. And Petunia never talked about Lily. Not once. How could you do something like that to a child." Severus moaned. "To not tell them a single thing about their own parents…"

"Severus." Emmeline began slowly, "you need to tell him the truth."

"What?" Severus demanded, with terror flooding his eyes.

"You need to tell him about the dark mark." Emmeline insisted. Severus stared at her.

"Emm…"

"Severus. He will find out the truth eventually. It would be better for you to be the one to explain, rather than for him to jump to his own conclusions."

"But." Severus stuttered nervously. Emmeline grasped his hand.

"I will be there, Severus." She rolled her eyes. "I seem to be the only one who can smooth out you two's rough edges." She stood up, pulling the potions master with her and sat him down on the couch. "Wait here." Severus continued to stare down at his folded hands for some time. Then Emmeline cleared her throat. He looked up to see Harry staring at him, looking terrified, shaking slightly.

"Harry," he began. But his voice died in his throat. The teen shifted on his feet.

“I'm sorry sir,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to pry… I should have known not to ask questions.” that had always been the rule back home. And now he was starting to understand why it might actually be a good idea.

“No!” Severus croaked in horror. “No Harry, I am sorry. I should have explained why I wasn't prepared to answer that particular question, instead of getting angry with you.” he threaded a hand into his hair with a sigh. Harry looked down at him nervously. “Please sit.” the teen slowly sat down. Emmeline joined him, grabbing the teen's hand.

“Harry…” Emmeline began quietly. “Severus is going to tell you how he got it.”

“Is… is it something bad?” Harry asked quietly. 

“Yes,” Severus admitted outright. Harry looked back at him in slight shock. “It was perhaps the biggest mistake of my life.” he took a deep breath. Then he gave Harry a sad look. “As you recall, I informed you of how and when my mother died, and the way my father had reacted.” Harry nodded. “At the time. I was 18 years old. I had just left Hogwarts… options for myself were… limited.” Severus murmured with a slight grimace. He didn't have a single fond memory of that year he'd lived on his own, save the few times he spent with Emmeline, and even then, she had been a brief bright sparkle in an otherwise dismal world. “I had very few friends, no assets, almost no money.” he looked down at his hands. “I was definingly desperate. I needed something, anything, to gain some kind of foothold.” he started ringing them slightly. This was the part of the story that always made Severus feel so… worthless. “The only thing my time at Hogwarts had really provided me with, outside of a formal education, which I was struggling to do anything meaningful with, were connections.”

“What sort of connections?” Harry asked worriedly.

“You have met Lucius Malfoy?” Severus offered bitterly. Harry flinched back in shock.

“You were friends with him?!”

“No,” Severus said with a snort, “Lucius doesn't have 'friends', he has connections. And I was one of them. Not for anything I could get from him, however, but for what he could gain from me.” Severus swallowed. “Lucius had been in a position of power while he was at Hogwarts. He was prefect when I started attending, and so many of us looked up to him, myself included. And he wasn't afraid to buy that respect if he thought it was lacking,” Severus explained. At Harry’s slightly skeptical expression, Severus rolled his eyes. “No I am not exaggerating Harry, the first year I attended Hogwarts he bought everybody, and I mean everybody, the entire house, mink fur winter gloves for Christmas.” Severus scowled. “To ‘ward off the dungeon’s chill’.” Harry gaped.

“No wonder Malfoy is such a tosser,” he muttered in awe. Severus scowled and opened his mouth to chastise him when Emmeline cleared her throat. 

“Lucius was willing to finance me through my potions mastery.” Severus declared. Harry gaped again.

“Hermione was saying that getting a mastery is like going to uni though!” Harry cried. “That's thousands of pounds! And he paid for it?” Severus nodded. “All of it?!”

“Including living and equipment expenses,” Severus confirmed. Harry looked vaguely impressed. But then an understanding dawned on him.

“He wasn't doing it to be nice though,’ he muttered. “There was a catch.” Severus nodded gravely. “What was it?”

“He wanted me to use my mastery to supply potions to a group of individuals that Lucius was bankrolling,” Severus murmured. “It was initially pitched to me as a government lobbying group, run mostly by the pureblood elite, that was dedicated to preserving dying wizarding tradition, many of which had been banned by what they referred to as ‘radically liberal political parties'.”

“What kind of traditions?” Harry questioned in confusion.

“Things like traditional holidays, holy pilgrimages, ancient rituals, even certain spells, as they argued,” Severus explained. “The holidays were the most contentious issue. Witches and wizards used to worship the changing of the seasons in rituals held on sabbath days.” Harry blinked. 

“Like Wiccans?”

“Yes,” Severus confirmed, grateful that the boy knew at least vaguely what he was talking about. “But the tradition fell out of practice for the common wizard after the statute of secrecy was enacted in 1692. It was mostly because rituals such as that drew far too much attention. It just wasn't tenable for wizards living amongst muggles to continue to worship using the old rituals.” Severus snorted, “In fact, many of the people in the very group Lucius wanted me to help still worshipped, and in fact still worship to this day, using the old rituals, because they were mostly rich purebloods with large private states away from muggle eyes!” he covered his hand with a sigh. “The fact of the matter is, the statute of secrecy never prohibited the act of worship. It just made it impractical. And that impracticality led to disuse. Disuse led to obscurity until wizards simply abandoned archaic presentations of faith for more modern ones.” he frowned. “It is not uncommon to burn a yule log or hang rosemary over doors on Beltane. It's just less flashy.” Severus argued. Harry looked fascinated but a quick glance at Emmeline made him realize that he'd fallen slightly off-topic. He cleared his throat. “The real reason Lucius and his cohorts were ‘rising up against radical liberalism’ were because they had seen a significant decrease in their power. I mentioned before how the vast majority of them were purebloods. I hope you understand what that implies.”

“They were all muggle and muggle-born hating pricks?” Harry offered worriedly. Severus didn't feel any urge to chastise him that time.

“Yes. They were purists. They didn't care about ‘dying’ wizard traditions. They were concerned with how much equality muggle-borns had been achieving in politics. But when I first heard about it, I had no idea.” he looked down at his left sleeve before he unbuttoned the cuff and slowly rolled it up. He stared down at the faded gray stain on his arm with a flood of revulsion. “They had a calling card, a way to differentiate between those who were with them, and those that were against them.” Severus covered the skull with his hand. “At first, the leader of this group was willing to accept my potions without question. But as time went on, he began to grow suspicious.” He uncovered the mark again, staring into the skull's eye sockets, lost in the horrible memory. “He wanted me to prove my loyalty to the cause. To prove my loyalty to him.”

“Voldemort.” Harry suddenly declared. Severus looked up to see the horror on the boy's face. “You’re talking about Voldemort… he said… he said he had ‘loyal followers’,” his face went paler still, “death eaters… you were a death eater?!” he demanded in shock, rising to his feet. Severus felt his chest tighten. But he couldn’t deny it.

“Yes,” he admitted, making the boy flinch. “I foolishly believed the lies I had been told about making the world a better place. And by the time I realized…it was too late.” Severus muttered before he looked down at the mark again. Then he closed his eyes and turned away from it. Then he heard the door slam. He opened his eyes to see Emmeline standing. She was repeatedly looking from the door to him, looking very distressed. “Go.” Severus croaked. 

“Oh Severus,” Emmeline whimpered.

“Go Emm,” the potions master declared a little firmer. “He shouldn't be alone, now more than ever.”

“Don't raid the liquor cabinet again Severus.” Emmeline insisted before she opened the door to chase the boy into the raging storm outside