Approximately one week later, in the evening, Ginny heard a knock on the door to Grimmauld place. She lifted both eyebrows in surprise and approached the door cautiously. Hermione was coming down the stairs, frowning and looking inquiringly at Ginny. Ginny shook her head and drew her wand before she opened the door brusquely, revealing a black clad Professor Snape on the doorstep.

“How did you find the house?” Ginny asked without preamble. “It’s protected by a Fidelius charm. We always fetch our guests in person.”

“You’re wise in being so careful, Miss Ginny,” said Snape, then continued awkwardly: “Mr Potter invited me.” Ginny snorted.

“Excuse me, but I don’t believe you,” she said curtly. Snape reddened.

”He didn’t invite me today, obviously,” he said. “It was a while ago.”

“Incredible,” said Ginny. ”Well, this just proves it: Harry’s so naive at times.”

“I need to see him,” said Snape. Ginny gave up a little laugh.

“I know for a fact that he does not want to see you, Professor. He’s been fuming since he came home from the Auror Headquarters. I’ve never seen him so angry. Do you realize what you’ve done to him?” Snape sighed.

”I’ve come to apologise, please, Miss Ginny. It’s not as simple as…”

“It’s simple: he doesn’t want to see you… He’s not ready to forgive you,” said Ginny bitingly. Hermione had joined her.

“Let the Professor come in, Ginny. We shouldn’t be standing here on the doorstep,” she said, aghast at the tone Ginny used to address Snape.

“Professor Snape can leave right now, Hermione,” said Ginny.

“Ginny!” Hermione hissed. “He’s the headmaster at Hogwarts.”

“Well, I’m no student of Hogwarts any longer,” Ginny said stubbornly.

Harry who was hiding on the staircase landing opposite the entrance, listening in, smiled grimly to himself. Ginny was doing well, resisting Snape like that. She was being hard as nails and exceedingly rude and Snape could just take it for being such a git!

“You do realise, Professor, don’t you,” said Ginny, “that precisely because Harry trusts you to such a degree, you’re so much more susceptible of hurting him? He really came to respect you last year, despite everything, and has stupidly trusted you until today when you cold-bloodedly broke your promise.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that…” Snape muttered weakly, surprisingly subdued.

“He vouched for you at your trial at the Ministry, by Merlin! How do you ever think he’ll be able to trust you again?” Ginny continued relentlessly. Snape actually took a step back, down the stairs as if leaving. Harry half rose on his landing. He hadn’t counted on Ginny actually succeeding in driving Snape off. Hermione came to his help by gripping Ginny by the arm and hissing to her:

“For Harry’s sake, it’d be much better to let him sort this out with Snape, you know that, Ginny. He’ll be unhappy if they don’t.”

“Harry’s much better off without him. Snape’s encouraging all that stupid extra work with Ancient magic and I-know-not-what, too, when Harry could be with me instead.”

“That’s just selfish of you Ginny.”

“Well, Snape has betrayed him. What more is there to say?”

“Everyone has a right to defend themselves and to explain their actions. Ron told me that Harry just yelled and stormed out of the room after it happened.”

 “You’re incredible, Hermione. Some things are crystal clear, unmistakable and unpardonable and don’t need debating. You’re much too fond of twisting things around. I guess that’s why you entered the magical law program.” Ginny sounded defiant.

Harry did not see them, but he heard from her tone of voice when she answered that Hermione had become affronted.

“What about your own behaviour yesterday at the club, Ginny? “ she hissed. “Was that unmistakable and unpardonable too? Where do you draw the line, eh? Snape’s not the only person with a potential to hurt Harry, you know.” Ginny and Hermione were both silent for a short while, as if staring each other out.

Snape still had one foot on the step outside and seemed undecided, back half turned to the entrance. Harry frowned – what did Hermione refer to? He knew that Ron and she had accompanied Ginny to one of her parties the previous night. He had chosen to stay at home to get enough sleep in view of the upcoming Occlumency lesson. He heard Ginny answer with a voice trembling mostly from anger:

“I’m not concealing anything from Harry. We have an allowing relationship. He doesn’t prevent me from having fun – and he knows that I love him.”

Harry felt comforted by Ginny’s answer - Hermione had misinterpreted some situation, surely. Ginny could be pretty wild sometimes, but he did not begrudge her some fun. Hermione had stepped forward and opened the door more widely, inviting Snape to come in. The Professor advanced slowly into the hall and the door shut behind him.

“You’d better be able to explain what you did and make it up to Harry,” Ginny said haughtily to Snape. “If he consents to come down - which I very much doubt,” she added.

“I told you I came to apologise,” Snape muttered, but it did not seem to satisfy Ginny who started anew:

“You know, Harry has suffered enough in his life, he doesn’t deserve to be betrayed. A person like him must be cherished and taken care of by those who call themselves his friends.”

“You are probably right and I have no intention to…”

“He might be powerful, yet he’s fragile,” Ginny went on relentlessly. “It’s criminal to treat him like you did today!”

Harry was starting to think that Ginny was overdoing it, when a loud howl made him cower and instinctively put his hands over his ears.

“Traitors and Mudbloods in my house! Get out, you filthy creatures!” The portrait of Mrs Black had woken up and was raging.

“Go to the library – I’ll take care of her!” Ginny shouted. “I’ll ask Harry if he wants to come down. Don’t count on it, though! Shut up, you bitch! Talking to Mrs Black, not to you Hermione.”

Harry took the opportunity to sneak away to his and Ginny’s room. He hastened to open some drawers, rummaged around and found his old pair of glasses. He put them on and studied the effect in the mirror with satisfaction. It was astounding how they changed his appearance. Nowadays that his eyesight was restored and he did not need them, he only used them when he had to face the press, in order to give the public something to recognise him by. Since he lookd very different without his glasses, it also bought him some anonymity in his everyday life – not so many wizards and witches recognised him by his looks these days. Strange that his old glasses did not blur his sight to a greater extent, though. He did not have time to ponder upon this because Ginny entered the room. She frowned when she saw him.

“I heard Mrs Black,” he said quickly. “I know that you let Snape in.”

“Hermione let him in,” Ginny said indignantly. “You don’t have to go down you know.”

“I’m going to tell him how disappointed I am,” said Harry.

“You’re going to forgive him. You’re incredible, you know, Harry!” Ginny burst out.

“I’m not going to…” Harry said affronted. “I’m just going to… talk to him. He’s going to hate to see me like this.” Harry cast a last grim look of satisfaction in the mirror. A copy of James Potter met him there. Ginny rolled her eyes.

“You’re being childish, Harry. Just dismiss him. Don’t go down.”

But Harry opened the door and walked down the stairs. The thought of what had happened earlier that day made his blood boil again. It was so unfair! Why did Snape never respect his feelings? Why did he always have to put Harry to the test? Entering someone’s mind was a violation, no less! And he had promised not to. He had promised!

When he entered the library, he saw Snape flinch at the sight of him, and clench his jaws. Hermione rolled her eyes just like Ginny had done. Harry tried not to let the triumph show on his face, but kept his features under control.

“Professor,” he said coldly, “I don’t think we have anything to say to each other.”

Ginny had entered behind Harry and was whispering with Hermione. Apparently the two of them seemed reconciled.

“Mr Potter,” Snape pronounced with difficulty, clearly disturbed by Harry’s appearance.

Harry stepped up nonchalantly to a small table and picked up a book.

“I’ve come to give you an explanation,” said Snape, frowning deeply and raising his voice. Harry was half turned from him, riffling through the pages of the book. “Will you show some respect and look at me when I speak to you?” Snape was using his teacher’s voice which had a partial effect on Harry in so much that he put the book down again, but he kept glancing insolently under his fringe at Snape.

“I…” Snape took a deep breath and frowned. “Will you take off your glasses, please Mr Potter?” Snape rose his voice again.

“I can’t see that my glasses have anything to do with this,” Harry said nonchalantly.  

“Precisely, that’s why you should take them off,” Snape said sharply.

“I can wear my glasses if I want to,” said Harry stubbornly.

“You don’t need them any longer!” Snape barked. “I can’t have a normal conversation with you looking like…” To Harry’s satisfaction Snape gestured wildly with exasperation, not even finding words to explain himself. Hermione and Ginny were staring at Harry, incredulity written on their faces. Harry crossed his arms, riveting his eyes challengingly at Snape.

“Take them off!” Snape roared. ”I’ve come to apologise, by Merlin!”

Harry pressed his lips together. He was so angry, so very angry with Snape. He would not take his glasses off. Let Snape explode and walk away if he could not do better.

“Harry! By all hot goblin swords!” Snape shut his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and riveting them on Harry again. This time he spoke slowly. “Out of respect for an old friend of your mother’s, please take those glasses off and let me explain.”

Harry felt his heart start to beat faster. He swallowed. Never before had Snape used his connection with Lily to plead with Harry like this. He felt a lump in his throat as he fumblingly tore off his glasses and threw them on the small table. He realized that he was not only angry, he was hurt and grieved by Snape’s betrayal earlier.

“Will you leave us alone for a while,” he mumbled hoarsely to Ginny and Hermione. Ginny shook her head slowly at him, but Hermione took her under the arm and gently drew her away, shutting the door carefully after them.

Snape was standing half turned from Harry, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Merlin,” he muttered darkly, softening however when he met Harry’s now unshielded and hurt gaze. “I deserve… all your frustration and disappointment,” said Snape. “I’ve made many mistakes in my life, and what I did this afternoon when I Legilimencied you - out of pure zest I might add - is one of the stupidest and pettiest of them all.”

Harry opened his mouth.

“I know…” Snape lifted a hand to interrupt him. “I know that I promised. And I did let Miss Swan do the exercise with you. But I was so pleased… so honestly pleased and relieved when I realized that you succeeded in blocking her…”

Harry shook his head. It was no excuse for what his teacher had done.

“You should know that I have qualms… great qualms of conscience because of everything that I was forced to do during the past years. Playing the part of a spy sometimes put me in situations where I had to choose between two equally execrable outcomes. Obliviating after having Relieved those students the year before last is one example. It was shocking to learn that some of them experienced side effects from the Obliviate spell. It was my doing, my choice at the time, as was the way in which I tried to teach you Occlumency after Voldemort came back.”

Harry bit his lips. He knew that the Oblivatings Snape spoke of had been performed in the best of intentions to help the students and in order not to expose Snape’s role as a spy.

“I’ve been afraid, truly afraid that I had damaged you permanently by those Occlumency lessons in your fifth year. I was carried away today when I realised that you managed to Occlude against Miss Swan’s intrusion. You not only succeeded - you did really well, because she’s an accomplished Legilimens. I thought you cured, and stupidly I wanted to test your ability to stop me as well. I was too hasty, I should have waited for your permission and for this I’m truly sorry.” Harry sighed and rubbed his face with his hands.

“It was worse than ever,” he said unhappily. “I have no resistance at all when it comes to you. The memories just poured out and swirled around vertiginously. It was horrible, and particularly memories involving my mother, too… You can’t be very keen to see those kind of…”

“I’m not,” Snape said quickly and with emphasis. “I’m certainly not.”

They stayed silent for a while.

“At least we know now that the difficulty to Occlude does not extend to other persons, and that your abilities per se are not damaged, which is a relief. And I wanted to tell you something… I wanted to come clean with you… in return for your possibly forgiving me the transgression today… although this might upset you, too… but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better that I confess altogether… Because what I’m going to tell you shows that you didn’t do so abyssmally in our lessons that you think.”

“I didn’t?” Harry asked suspiciously.

”No,” said Snape. ”In our last session but one…” he grimaced a bit and Harry mirrored him, because the last session was not a pleasant memory to any of them “…you were, as usual, frustrated and angry with me, and I acknowledge that I relished in your blatant incapacity in reigning in your emotions…”

“I was fifteen!” Harry burst out.

“I know! I acknowledge being a mean and bitter man at the time, Harry, barely tolerating the sight of you - jealous and narrow-minded, and confined, constrained, you know, in my role…” Snape shook his head. “How can I explain to you? You heard me talk about the side effects of exerting too much Occlumency in class today… I was probably too engulfed in my mission at the time to pay any deed to those effects, but in retrospect, of course I realise that it took its toll on me!”

Indeed, Harry and the other Auror apprentices who had attended Hogwarts had not needed much imagination during the lesson about Occlumency to visualize those side effects, since they all realized that they had lived with a teacher - the very wizard who stood in front of them - who showed every sign of them for years. The original object of Occlumency was to withstand single short attacks on the mind, it was not intended for prolonged utilization. The side effects had been especially prominent, Harry recognized, after the resurrection of Voldemort when Snape had returned as a Death Eater to spy on him. 

“In this session,” Snape continued, “you had decided, since you could not block me, to show me a long series of our mutual dealings where I had treated you badly. You so to say held up a mirror, showing me myself, by shoving all those memories at me whenever I Legilimencied you.”

Harry narrowed his eyes. He did not remember doing this.

“I laughed at you at first, told you that you were pathetic, but you persisted, showing me scene after scene where I played the principal part. Some of it was quite unexpected and instructive: I learnt for example that during that very first lesson of Potions in your first year, when I accused you of being inattentive, and ridiculed you in front of the entire class, that you were indeed taking notes, writing down, word by word, what I was saying.”

Harry looked at Snape with reproach, without a word, and Snape continued.

“I know, I was extremely prejudiced, extremely unfair to you – that’s precisely what you were able to show me at the time. But you see, being able to choose which memories to show, steering the Legilimens to determined parts of your mind, is in fact a form of Occlumency, even if you were unaware of it at the time. It’s a more subtle form of Occlumency and you usually don’t start with teaching that method. A pupil always starts by learning to block. But I have myself used this selective Occlumency with great success, because it allows you to disguise the fact that you’re manipulating the Legilimens, and you can alter his understanding of you. You can for example increase the importance of a rather insignificant memory and make the Legilimens draw the wrong conclusions.”

Harry inclined his head a little. This was interesting. He still did not recall, however…

“At the end of one of my attacks – I was being quite merciless on you – there came a memory that neither you, nor I actually had any conscious recollection of.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed. ”How’s that possible…?”