Harry found himself pacing his room anxiously awaiting Ron and Hermione's return from Hogwarts. After the monumental event with Snape in the basement potions laboratory earlier, Harry was left amongst his own thoughts with no one else to share them with. There were still so many unspoken words between them, but the man's gesture left him feeling overwhelmed, yet reassured. If he were harboring anger against him, he would have easily thrown him out of the room, or cut him deep with some harsh truth that Harry may not be ready to hear. Although the man was silent, at least he was able to finally listen to the Gryffindor. Something had happened at Godric's Hollow with Snape, and he couldn't quite understand what.
Both concealed so much grief and unresolved issues that it was difficult for them both to be completely open with one another. They were both honest people. Snape usually with his bitter truth, and Harry was unafraid of speaking what was on his mind. Neither were liars, except to themselves. But in a sense, Harry could understand the man's silence. Sometimes things can get heavy, and an immediate reaction would simply withdraw from others and yourself. Sometimes it was easier to bottle it all up within because sharing with someone was too painful and difficult. Harry understood that. There was still so much even his friends couldn't begin to understand, but in a sense, Snape did.
That itself was the strangest thing. Snape did understand. That was the truth. He seemed to understand him better than most and perhaps that is what compels Harry to constantly seek his advice for that peace of mind and confirmation that he wasn't a completely hopeless case. He often wondered what ran rampant within the man's thoughts through all the years he protected Harry like a silent guardian. It was hard to think that the man who openly expressed his hatred towards the boy, was the same man struggling with ill health in the basement, allowing Harry to finish his potion, and then offering a reassuring hand on his shoulder like it was his way of an extending an olive branch as a peace offering.
Harry knew he couldn't blame himself for the actions of his father to Snape in their youth, but he couldn't help but feel responsible for it. Even though he knew it wasn't his fault. If Snape were to get any kind of resolution, then the only person it could truly come from, had to be from Harry. Throughout all the years Snape had known him, Harry was always burdened by the actions of his father from Snape's eyes. From years of putting his father on a pedestal, it was suddenly tarnished by those memories Snape had been delicate in harboring. And yet it wasn't fair that Harry never knew his father personally, so he didn't have a chance to create his own memories of him. But since that day he peered into Snape's memories in his fifth year, he had come to learn that everyone had their own demons locked away. He loved his father so much still, but he was not the saint he expected him to be. And despite that, Snape wasn't the devil Harry originally perceived him to be, either. He still did terrible things, but he spent years making up for those mistakes.
And yet Harry had the capacity within his heart to forgive both of them. The only way to move forward is to let go of things beyond of their control. It made no sense to stay locked within what could have been. That is not living. That is self-made torture. There is a time for grief, but eventually, one must let go, because holding on hurts just as much.
Harry wondered what Remus and Sirius would think of him if they were here. Remus most likely would have forgiven Snape, but Sirius? He would have been glad to see Snape suffer, and would have probably done his best to taunt and cast him away. Was it cruel fate that neither of them was here to see him now? They would probably ask him why he was even bothering with the man downstairs. But Harry couldn't bring himself to turn away from him, just like the Marauders did. Or even as his mother did. He had a chance to do better and this was the path he was willing to take.
Deciding to finally distract himself from his thoughts, he made the decision to finally enter Sirius' room after delaying that task for the last few weeks since his return to Grimmauld Place. Since they used it as a safe house when they were being hunted, Harry had been hesitant in disturbing Sirius' room, so he left it exactly how he last saw it. Living at Grimmauld Place was one personal dilemma, but disturbing the bedroom of his Godfather since passed, just seemed like a horrible intrusion on the man's life. Like he had no right to be here. It took a long time for Harry to come to terms with his death, but he never liked the idea of cleaning up the room. Every object, every piece of furniture had its rightful spot placed there specifically by Sirius, and to move things around seemed like he was going against his memory. It was a silly thing to be thinking of, but that's how he felt.
Opening the door slowly with an ear-splitting creak, Harry walked past the threshold into the dark and dusty room which may as well have been the attic. Scrunching his face up from the dust wafting in the stale air, Harry approached the scarlet curtain, and drew it all the way back, allowing the Spring light of the afternoon to bathe the room. He tugged at the window, which didn't budge initially, until he finally withdrew his wand and opened it all the way, allowing a fresh breeze to take away the enclosed, suffocating air. He turned back to the bedroom and saw the piles of letters and photos that he left abandoned the last time he was there. He did a poor effort to tidy up the pile previously, but now he knelt on the floor and attempted to do a better job.
Stacking the papers together, he placed them back in the empty faded box beside him, being careful not to damage the parchments containing the history marked across these pages. It took him some time to realise why the letters had been on the floor in the first place, but now he remembered. Snape's memories. His mother's letter, and photo…Could Snape possibly still have them? He never did find those missing pieces, and then flashes of Snape's memories flooded his own mind as he recalled him taking the other half of a letter, and the photo…Harry's heart skipped a beat when he realised it was he who tore it in half.
How the hell was Harry going to ask him? Technically, it wasn't Snape's to take in the first place, but then again, he felt too guilty to approach him about it. Harry had mixed feelings about this scenario. He understood why he did that, but regardless, it was wrong of him to do so. It was almost like looking through someone's personal diary.
Harry spent the next few hours cleaning up Sirius' bedroom and making sure it was as dust-free as possible. The bed linen was cleaned, and the rug was now a few shades lighter as opposed to the layer of dirt and dust it had originally. The curtains were fixed of all rat-eaten holes at its hem, and the furniture looked far brighter than he ever thought possible. He was able to accomplish much of it magic-free since it just seemed to feel far more comfortable for Harry to do. Years of experience doing that at the Dursleys, had Harry feeling more accomplished. He noticed several claw marks on the old wooden floors, and Harry couldn't help but grin. Thinking back to some of the days Sirius was going stir-crazy being secured, yet housebound on strict orders, he must have transformed into his Animagus form out of pure boredom. He could just imagine Sirius running around in dog form, annoying every single Order member that walked through the door. Even Snape, most likely.
It was only fitting Harry and Snape was housebound too, and hopefully, they ended up less stir-crazy than his Godfather did.
Harry had finished combing through every inch of the room making it as pristine as he possibly could within his limitations, magical or otherwise. Everything that was once scattered on the floor, had found a rightful place within the room. The photos of Sirius and the other Marauders were cleaned and still remained fixated on the walls, while the framed ones had their place upon the mantle. The Gryffindor colors that were clearly evident in Sirius' room, made Harry smile and feel proud. The scarlet and golden hues were reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room that Harry missed so much.
He leaned against the edge of the bed, proud of his little handiwork and effort, despite having felt emotionally incapacitated recently. Subconsciously, he began to rub the scars on his right arm; something he seemed to do out of habit now. But at least he had stopped picking at them when he became anxious, and now, the wounds were healing up well. He had long since removed the bandages now. Yet still, the scars would not fade. Just another scar to add to his collection.
Not long after Harry was done dealing with Sirius' room, he heard the sounds of Hermione and Ron bounding up the stairs and calling his name.
"Good, you're still here," Hermione was exasperated when the pair entered Sirius' bedroom and looked around in awe at Harry's cleaning efforts, "…You've been busy."
"Clearly, I have nothing else better to do. Honestly, anything to keep my mind off things," Harry shifted a sofa chair back to its original spot, as he decided to wander back to the bed and sit on its edge. "Any news?"
"Well, Ron and I managed to salvage some of the ingredients in Snape's lab and stores," Hermione sat down on the edge of the bed with Harry, as Ron slumped down on the single armchair opposite them, "I gave Neville a list of additional things we need, so he's going to search for the rarer herbs for us. We still need Acromantula ashes…That's not going to be a fun one to obtain. Along with the matured dragon scales, Abraxon hair, Occamy egg, and lionfish spines."
"Don't you dare ask me to tag along to get those ashes. No way in hell am I dealing with giant spiders again," Ron grumbled, "No bloody more. I'm sick of it."
"Well, considering they are incredibly hostile to us even more now, I wouldn't want to either, to be honest," Harry responded.
"We can't avoid it. We'd need them eventually," Hermione turned to Harry, "Ron and I went to see Hagrid earlier and he is going to help us get the scales, the egg, and the Abraxon hair. They are a little harder to obtain, but he's going to find them for us."
"…You didn't tell him why, did you?"
"No, of course not Harry. Besides, it's Hagrid. He knows better than to ask."
Harry bit his lip, "...How is he? I haven't been able to see him since I was last at Hogwarts."
"He's doing alright. Busy with new Hogwarts fortifications on McGonagall's orders…He asked about you," Hermione tilted her head, "He was worried since he hadn't heard from you. But I told him you've been laying low given the current situation, so he understands."
Harry started fumbling with the hem of his shirt, "I should probably send him an owl, or something. Though, do you think that's too risky?"
"I don't think it's going to be much different now. Owl post hasn't been safe for ages. But I doubt the Death Eaters are going to waste time on owl watch now," Ron mentioned.
"Harry, did you ask Snape about the tracking?" Hermione asked.
Harry nodded, "Yeah. He says it's possible to track another person's wand, so long as both the caster and the wand they are tracking, have the same core. Ginny's core is dragon heartstring, same with yours, Hermione."
"Well, that's good then," Ron responded, "It's better than waiting, Merlin knows how long, for my sister to use the coin. For all we know, she could have dropped it somewhere."
"Once it's dark enough later, we'll try it out."
Hermione frowned at Harry with a warned look, "Harry, it might be wiser for you to stay here."
"What? No, I'm going."
Ron crossed his arms, and leaned back into the chair, "Snape might permanently hang you from the chandelier if he catches you leaving again."
Harry shrugged, "Honestly I thought he would too, but when I told him I was going to try and track the wand tonight, strangely enough, he didn't say a thing. I think he yelled at me enough yesterday, and he wasn't keen on giving me the same old lecture again. He knows full well I can't just sit around, waiting."
"He's a bloody weird one," Ron rolled his eyes.
"Well, he has his own personal problems, Ron. Cut him some slack, " Harry warned, as he threw up his hands in defeat. Even though he could understand Ron's apathy towards the professor, he was frustrated that his friend still displayed that harsh view, and that made Harry more than a little mad. There was a time when Harry thought the same way about Snape, but now that seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Look, let's have a chat with him about our options. I wonder if there was a way we can narrow it down," Hermione interjected, clearly annoyed by the rising conflict between Ron and Harry, "Perhaps he may know some of Voldemort's previous camps? I mean, he seemed to be familiar with the one at the Forbidden Forest. If he could give us an area we could start in, it will make our job finding Ginny and others, far easier."
"Well, they'd have to be somewhere remote, right? They won't be partying at Hogsmeade, that's for sure," Ron leaned forward in his chair, "Maybe they have multiple camps in the Forest, and we only happened to find one of them?"
Harry started to drum his fingers on his legs, slightly anxious, "It seems likely. I mean, where else could they go that can easily hide their operations? They would have had several safe zones in place if things went awry."
"And they'd have to be well away from Muggle eyes, and magical residences," Hermione drew in a deep breath, "Makes sense. But surely not the Forbidden Forest."
"Where else could they be?"
"Well, I was thinking because Firenze and the other centaurs would have driven them away and McGonagall if they did and we would have been informed about it. The Death Eaters would want to be further away from Hogwarts, so they won't be disturbed."
"Great. They could be anywhere," Ron grumbled.
"Look, we don't have anything else to go on. We need to narrow it down and maybe Snape can help us with that," Hermione stood up from the bed and beckoned for the other two teenagers to follow suit, "Come on you two. If we can sort this out soon, we may be able to get Ginny and Lee back tonight."
Harry and Ron looked at each other, and rose up from their perches, as they followed Hermione downstairs. It didn't take them long to find Professor Snape sitting by the fire in the sitting room, with a random old book in his hands. Most likely from the ancient-looking bookcase in the corner. The trio walked to the room's open doorway, with Hermione giving a polite knock at the door, knowing better than to barge straight in. Snape raised his head from the book to find the trio making their way inside and taking their respectful seats adjacent to the man. He followed their path without a word and watched them awkwardly take a seat.
Harry noticed Snape quickly gazing once directly at him and then averting his direction elsewhere likely still a little uncomfortable regarding the incident earlier that morning. At least that made Harry's job of sealing his mind off from the man, a little easier.
As Hermione sat down with Harry and Ron on each side, she fumbled with her hands awkwardly trying to formulate a response, "Sir. We were just wondering if you can tell us more about the Death Eater camps?"
Anticipating a lengthy discussion, Snape gently closed the book and placed it on the table in front of him. He leaned all the way back in his chair, with his arms folded neatly over his chest, "…Go on."
Hermione drew in a deep breath, "We wanted to know if you had any ideas of where they might be. Surely they can't still be in the Forbidden Forest."
Snape's expression turned sour, "I was not often privy to much of the Dark Lord's plans…unless it directly affected Potter. I was only able to be made aware of a few primary campsites but was denied further knowledge," He subtly rolled his eyes, "…Seems to be the running theme on both sides I was to report to."
"How many did they have?" Ron asked.
"Many. It was rare for them to find a permanent headquarters. They often moved around to different locations, removing most traces of their presence whenever they did so."
"Like Malfoy Manor? Do you think they could be there? Could Draco have something to do with it?" Harry asked.
Snape looked at Harry sharply as he frowned, "They are as much hunted, as we are, Potter. I assure you; they do not know. They want nothing more to do with them."
"What other camps do you know of, sir?" Hermione asked.
Snape paused in thought, furrowing his brows as he tilted his head, "I only know of one other; however, I do not believe they are still operational," Harry could tell the man was stalling. There was something about the way he said that that had him worried.
"Please tell us. We have to start somewhere. We can't rely on the Ministry, still. Not after our latest Auror problem. We need to stop them before they murder more people," Hermione glanced anxiously at Ron and Harry beside her, "We are running out of allies, sir. We can't enlist the Minister's help because we have no Aurors we can trust. It will be unwise to pull any other faculty from Hogwarts and leave it unprotected. What's left of the Order and the DA – us – is all we have."
Harry watched as Snape drew in a wary deep breath pausing upon Hermione's statement. There was something about Snape's expression that changed. Harry never usually paid so much attention to him before, but since finding the man severely injured in the Shrieking Shack almost a month ago, he has since been able to read the man's face more clearly. It wasn't as if Snape let his usual façade crumble completely. He still carried his armored demeanor with authority, but the changes that did happen were subtle. The delicate changes in the man's tone when he was being genuine, or the way his eyebrows crinkled which told him that he was worried. Or even at times when the man's eyes grew wide in fear. Perhaps it was due to the frequent interactions with him, that Harry was able to pick up new things that others wouldn't dare to notice. Harry spent so many years not paying attention to him, only to now realise that he should have. Ron and Hermione had their own views, but only Harry has seen the man show a different light than what they were all used to before.
Only Harry noticed the man's eyes widen in blinding fear when faced with the snake at Spinners End. Only Harry noticed the way the man's face crumbled slightly when he gave him his first Patronus message in the Forest. Only Harry knew how often the man almost begged for death. Only Harry knew how much pain he really harbored, beyond what Ron and Hermione could even begin to comprehend. Only Harry saw the subtle smile on the man when he told him things about Lily. Only Harry knew that Snape's gesture this morning was enough, and meant more to him than he could ever express in words.
But this time, Snape's jaw dropped, as his eyes widened in slight fear. Harry watched as the man leaned forward, and rested his elbows on his legs, staring at anything else but the three sitting before him. Once Snape's voice dropped, Harry knew that this was more of a personal affair, "I know of only one. The Misty Dell."
Harry clasped his hands together, repeating the man's words, "The Misty Dell?"
"It was…An old site," Snape gave a shuddering deep breath, as he continued, "An old stone house used to stand there. It was surrounded by swamplands…Wretched place. It was used frequently during the First war, but I am unsure if they ever used it recently."
"What was it used for, exactly?" Ron asked, but his expression told them that he probably shouldn't have asked.
Snape pursed his lips, "It was a prisoner encampment. Back when I was a…loyal…Death Eater, we were often called there directly after a raid. I – " Snape paused, as he broke his gaze at the pair, leaving his mind to trail off. But then Snape sat up straight in his seat and focused his energy on re-composing his impassive gaze once more, "- You don't need to know what happened there. Trust me when I tell you, that in some instances, it is best to remain ignorant. "
It only made Harry wonder what Snape was about to say. But given the man's reaction, Harry was afraid to find out. Instead, Harry leaned forward, "Where on Earth is this place?"
Snape drew in a shuddering breath, "…The Forest of Dean."
There was a collective grumble and frustrated sigh from the trio. Ron slumped backward in his chair, staring up at the ceiling, while Harry and Hermione glanced at each other in uncertainty.
"Of all places. There? You must be joking!" Ron spoke a little too sarcastically, and he leaned forward again. He looked at Snape, who couldn't look any more deadly serious, "…Clearly not joking."
"I realise this information would not be taken kindly. I'm only telling you this so that you are not blindly wandering around unfamiliar enemy territories. Or anywhere else. Furthermore, I will be accompanying you to ensure you return in one piece. Especially there. "
"You mean to say, sir, that Death Eaters have been hiding out at the Forest of Dean?" Harry threw his hands up, "We were camping and hiding out there for months and didn't run into any of them. How – "
"- You were exceedingly lucky. Your wards must have been stable enough to draw no attention from them. Granger's handiwork, no less?"
Hermione shrugged sheepishly, as she nodded, "Y-yes, sir."
In stubborn resolve, Snape clenched his jaw, "Listen to me. I really don't want you wandering in there. Regardless of if it is occupied or not, it is not safe. But I fear you will find yourselves there anyway, defying orders as per usual. If there was no real reason you three should be running off, I'd have you all in a full-body bind and lock you in the attic. But you have missing loved ones. I will do my best to ensure they are extracted safely."
"Thank you, sir. So, how do you propose we do this?" Hermione asked.
"I will apparate in close vicinity, and scout the area for activity – "
"– No, sir, you're not," Harry interjected.
Snape spun his head to look at Harry, "I beg your pardon, Potter?"
"We are going with you," Harry responded, "Besides, you said it yourself. We have to be careful. You're not going in there without backup. You're just as much of a target."
"I'm flattered, Potter, but I am perfectly capable of the task."
"Well, we didn't suggest the idea only for you to go instead of us," Harry clenched his jaw, "We'll all apparate there. Two of us will use the Cloak, quickly look around and scout ahead. Once it's safe enough, we can use it as a starting point to track with Ginny's wand. Surely that charm can't work over long distances, so she must be somewhere in there."
"As long as there is no bloody camping involved, I think it's the best idea we've got," Ron grimaced, "I don't want to delay this any longer…I can't lose another sibling."
Hermione reached for Ron's arm, and rested her hand there, "Ron and I will contact Neville and Luna and let them know to be on standby. Just in case things go awry."
"I don't care about the Death Eaters; I just want my sister back."
Harry turned to Ron, "We are not coming back home without her. We'll keep going all night if we have to."
All three Gryffindors nodded among each other and eventually turned their attention back to Professor Snape seated before them. Snape sat unmoving, darting his obsidian eyes to each teenager as they spoke. Harry could see the man's careful calculation. It was a risky plan, but the alternative was to stay put and wait around for the coin to buzz which may never happen anytime soon. Every hour that ticked by posed more danger to Ginny's life. Neither of them could bear to sit around waiting any longer. Harry hated being a sitting duck.
Snape carefully stood up and turned his head to the window, to see the sun begin to dip low behind the houses across the street, almost obscuring its view. The day was almost at an end.
Turning back towards the trio, Snape finally addressed them again, as he towered over them with his hands clasped behind his back, "Meet at the bottom of the stairs in one hour. I suggest you pack light supplies, with appropriate wear pending weather conditions. I will salvage what I can of the potion stores should an emergency arise. We must be well-prepared."
The collective nods of understanding between the Gryffindors were a surefire way of boosting their adrenaline. The moment Snape finished addressing them, Ron and Hermione bolted off the sofa, to alert the others should they need help. Harry made his way to follow them but turned around in time to see the look of dread plastered across Snape's pale face. This time, Snape made no effort to hide it. Admittedly, Harry always felt a little more confident when Snape was, especially when out on a mission. But seeing that look of uncertainty now did not make Harry feel any better.
The last thing Harry wanted to do, was to go back to that forest again. But he was willing to risk that fear again, to bring Ginny back home safely.
Within the hour, Hermione managed to pack a few supplies, such as food and extra clothes for the three of them. She was amusingly ashamed to say that the tent was still stuck in the Forest of Dean, from when the Snatchers eventually got a hold of them. Ron let out a laugh and joked about how the wards may still be in place around it and possibly lost forever. Then he made a joke about Snape not having to worry about bringing extra clothes because he often wore the same thing. That itself, earned a horrified expression from Hermione, causing Harry to stifle a laugh at Ron's expense. Serves him right.
Hermione had placed Ginny's wand inside her beaded bag for safekeeping, even if Harry felt empty parting with it, while Snape was stuck in the basement preparing things that they may need.
Eventually, as the hour ended all four of them assembled in the main corridor, and without a word, they departed Grimmauld Place led by Snape just as the last light of the day dissipated. Snape teleported the trio using Side-Along Apparition, and when they suddenly re-materialized in the familiar oak tree-filled forest, Ron cursed under his breath. Immediately, Snape withdrew his wand and cast Lumos as the others followed suit.
It was painfully quiet. This part of the forest was filled with ancient trees around them, as the canopy of leaves overhead almost obscured the view of the starry sky above. The instant cold hit them immediately as the evening breeze blew through, even though it was barely the end of May. It shouldn't be this cold. Now Harry wished he were back by the crackling fireplace and familiar comfort of his own home. Dressed in a thick sweater and the warmest pants he owned, Harry approached Hermione who immediately retrieved the Invisibility Cloak from her bag. They followed Snape in silence, trailing behind him and making their way slowly down a sloped stony hill, watching their footing as they went. Eventually, they came across an old wooden shack, barely the size of Harry's bedroom at the Dursleys. The shack itself was falling apart. Sections missing from the wall, almost barren of anything inside, except for an old, shredded rug and remnants of a campfire someone else had attempted to use previously. They spent a few minutes securing it and repairing sections missing from the roof. Ron swore a little too loudly, earning a hissed scolding from Snape when a large black spider landed on top of him.
Snape turned to Ron and Hermione, and dropped his voice to a whisper, "Wait here. I recommend placing wards once we leave. We won't be long. The Misty Dell lies at the bottom of this hill. Potter, with me."
Ignoring Snape's sullen look, Harry threw the Invisibility Cloak over both of them, which did its best to cover them, albeit not completely. Harry could have sworn he heard Ron snigger as the pair of them left, knowing full well the Cloak wasn't able to cover their feet. For now, this was the best they could do. There was only one Cloak and Harry was adamant he would accompany Snape down to the bottom of the hill. Harry was stubborn, and Snape knew that well enough now to argue with.
The further down the hill they trekked, the quicker the mist began to envelop them quickly. Harry mentally kicked himself for thinking that Misty Dell was just a name. He did not anticipate the place to be shrouded in mist, and instantly, Harry felt an unnatural shiver through his bones.
What was this place?
CH 25: Melancholy Reminisce