Chapter 15

Ultimatum

xxx

Severus slowly made his way towards his bed, leaning on any stable object he could for support. His body was very tired; he had endured a lot that day. Thankfully, he'd spent much of his time during the past twenty years developing immunity and strengthening potions, and his body was able to endure much more than the average person's. However, torture such as he'd received still took its toll. His head was pounding, his wounds throbbing. To make matters worse, he was weighted with a heavy decision: whether or not he would tell Harry.

He couldn't even think clearly enough to make that decision.

Severus was used to hiding his emotion and blocking out any upsetting thoughts that should come his way. Even he, however, was susceptible to the emotion caused by what he'd learned this day. There were too many things on his mind to block them all out, and they were all relevant to one another, which made them all the more difficult to deal with.

The hardest to deal with was the fact that, once again, the dark mark had turned out to be the culprit of a major source of misery in his life. He had loved Lily, more than anyone had ever known… possibly even more than she ever knew. But over the years, he had come to hate her so much; oh, he still loved the woman he'd married, but he hated the woman that he divorced. Not once had he regretted throwing her from his home. Sometimes he even wished he'd done more, sent her back to Potter in a much worse state than he did. He wanted to make her to pay for what she did to him, and if she were still alive, he would have. Now he knew he should feel differently, but he didn't know if he could let go of all those feelings. He had thought she hated him, he had even thought, on rare occasions, perhaps she had planned it all along. Had she been capable of such malice and vice, he would have believed it true… because it did hurt, it had so hurt.

But she hadn't hated him. She had simply done what she had always done; the right thing. She did it to protect her child, and would have gone back to him had he not reacted to her so violently…

Severus understood this now. He'd spent years brooding over these past events, and now he was haunted by the life he could have had. He could have been happy, he never would have had to turn spy. He wouldn't be spending his life miserable… Lily might even still be alive. Severus had learned of the prophecy this year; Dumbledore had told him to impress the importance of protecting the prophecy and Harry. Voldemort had no idea that Severus had thrice defied him, so he never would have come after Harry. He would have gone after the Longbottoms, and Neville would have been marked with the scar that sat upon his son's head today.

Severus would have been able to watch his son grow up, keep him safe, teach him what he needed to know. Furthermore, the boy wouldn't have turned out the way he was. Instead of turning into a defiant, arrogant brat who thought he deserved the world's attention, he might have turned out much differently. The two might not hate each other as they did now…

Had the circumstances been different, Severus would have been very anxious to meet this boy now being labeled his son. He would have thought about all the things he wanted to say, how he would apologize for everything that had happened. He liked the idea of his and Lily's child, of having him around, having someone around. What he was not wild about was having that someone be Harry Potter. The biological relationship between the two changed nothing, Potter was Potter, and that would not change. He could not break him of his cockiness, (he doubted anyone could,) and he could not pretend the past five years hadn't happened.

Severus wanted to know his son… he just wasn't sure how he felt about Harry Potter. Somehow, he couldn't connect the two.

xxx

Harry Potter abruptly jerked out of his deep sleep and sat up in alarm, clutching his rapidly beating heart and sweating profusely. He stared around into the dark hospital wing, and as he realized where he was, his breathing slowed.

Harry had been in the hospital wing for three days now, and he didn't know if the jumpy feeling of the ward was inducing all these dreams, but he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

Once again, Harry had been having a dream that centered around his Potions Master, Professor Snape. He couldn't understand why the man suddenly occupied the thoughts running through his head every night while he was asleep. Even more confusing was the fact that his mother was also in many of them. Was this another ploy of Voldemort, trying to drive him to insanity? Perhaps Snape was doing it on purpose, keeping him from feeling too comfortable around him; the man was an extremely gifted legilimens.

Harry had a good idea, however, that these dreams weren't intended to happen by anyone. They had been occurring only since the traumatic day he'd experienced a few nights ago, the day in which his Professor had unintentionally saved him through a connection giving grip. Every part of Harry's intuition told him that the thoughts flashing through his head whenever his eyes fell closed were the result of the connection they'd shared, and perhaps withdrawal from it…

The day he'd left for his doomed Death Eater's meeting was the last day Snape had spoken with Harry. He hadn't come to the hospital wing, and from what Harry gathered from the conversations that took place while he was supposed to be asleep, he had been avoiding Dumbledore as well. Of course, the comments he'd overheard had been very vague; most of them were simple questions regarding Snape's condition or whereabouts, and Dumbledore's responses of, "He won't see me."

Harry was sure it was due only to delirium that he had perceived Snape as being somewhat agreeable the last time they'd spoken, and the same fact was to be attributed to his previous worry for the irate professor. His mind had been in a fog the moment he'd tried so with so much effort to keep Snape there, fearful for his well-being, and Harry refused to think for a second that it was out of genuine care that he'd done so. It was clear that in the confusion of the then-recent events, Harry had seen Snape as someone who'd just saved his life out of compassion, not obligation. Now, however, it was plain, and Harry was quite embarrassed he hadn't seen it before; Snape had saved him simply out of duty.

So it was with these feelings that Harry, very disgruntled, made his way down to Snape's office that afternoon. When he'd awoken early in the morning, Madame Pomfrey had informed him of his release and handed him a small note from the Headmaster. The neat, loopy writing scrawled across the tiny slip of parchment formed the worst words Harry could have feared to occur in the same sentence: "Meet Professor Snape in his office at one' o clock in the afternoon for Occlumency."

xxx

Harry arrived in the cool, torch lit dungeons five minutes ahead of schedule. It always depressed him to be down there, for it usually meant three very bad things; Slytherins, Potions, and Snape. Today, it meant only the latter; still Harry didn't exactly consider himself lucky. This was typical of Harry's life; on one of the worst days possible, in the worst circumstances, with the worst thoughts running through his head, Harry was to be locked in an office with Snape for two hours, having his mind repeatedly and relentlessly attacked and having no clue how to stop it. The sun was shining; the birds were chirping. Butterflies fluttered through the fields of flowers surrounding the great stone castle, (Well maybe not, but this was the way Harry had formed the picture in his mind), and he was sentenced to the dark dungeons of Hogwarts with his equally dark professor.

When he reached the door to Snape's office, he saw that it was already open. He tentatively stepped inside and looked around, but Snape was nowhere to be seen. Had he forgotten about this afternoon's lesson? Or had he been called away on other business, such as a Death Eater's meeting?

Harry cautiously advanced into the room, still looking around for his professor. His absence was a curious one; it was unlike him to be late, but if he had left for good, he certainly wouldn't have left his door opened and unguarded. Harry surveyed the top of his desk and examined the surrounding shelves, looking for some sign of Snape's whereabouts. The only thing his inspection told him, however, was that the man wasn't fond of dusting. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Potter!" The door hit the wall with a resounding BOOM as it was thrown further open.

Harry jumped so badly that he was surprised to find himself still inside his skin afterwards. He spun around, eyes wide.

"What are you doing?" Severus demanded accusingly, looking him over.

"Nothing, sir," Harry said. He didn't really care to explain that he was trying to find out where Snape had gone by the state of his shelves.

"No one can ever do 'nothing', Potter," Severus said, remaining where he was and folding his arms over his chest. "Even if all you're doing is staring at the wall, you're still doing something."

Harry stared at him in a moment of indecision, weighing the pros and cons of being respectful or retorting smartly, as his eventual petulance seemed inevitable.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to meet you here for Occlumency," Harry decidedly responded, repressing his inclination to irascibility.

Something flashed inscrutably behind Snape's eyes for a split second, but was gone before Harry could ponder what it was.

"Did he?" Severus responded dispassionately. "Well, disappointed though I know you will be, Potter, I have much more important things to attend to, and as these lessons are hardly more than a waste of time, there's no point in my ignorance of more heavily weighted tasks-"

"But Professor Dumbledore—"

"I hardly care," Severus said, voice just as cold as before. "It is, after all, my office, not Dumbledore's, therefore the decision of whether or not you will remain in it is strictly for me to decide. Now, unless you'd like to remain in it every night for the rest of the holiday serving detentions, I suggest you leave."

"You can't give me a detention," Harry responded angrily. "I haven't even done anything!"

"Correction," Severus said softly, a smirk curling around his thin lips. "It hasn't been discovered that you've done anything, but if you'd like that to change…"

Harry considered arguing further, but then he had a revelation. Why was he standing here, arguing with Snape about Occlumency lessons? He was free! He could leave, and he wouldn't get in trouble for it. The only way anyone would be upset would be if Dumbledore were to find out, and Harry certainly wasn't telling.

"Right," Harry said after a moment. "I'll leave you to your important work."

For a moment, Snape looked as though he were going to reprimand Harry for his tone, but seemingly had the same idea as Harry; he was getting what he wanted, so why be bothered? He shot Harry a dangerous glare, but stepped aside to allow him access to the open doorway. Without another word, Harry left, ready to spend the rest of his day completely Snape-free.

Harry wandered down the corridors, heading towards the Gryffindor tower. He'd spent very little time there since he'd arrived, and since it would be swarming with noisy students in a matter of weeks, Harry was looking forward to enjoying what quiet time it had to offer now, before he no longer could.

It was strange to think that there had been a time when it had been difficult finding the way to the common room. Harry could remember being a first year, struggling to remember the locations of all his different classes and getting lost on his journeys to the dormitories, being sure that the suits of armor rearranged themselves just to confuse him. Now, Harry had walked these halls so many times, he could easily find his way back, even if he was making no conscious effort to do so. It was as though his feet just knew where to carry him- and he liked that. Every year, the castle began to feel more and more like home to him, and every year, he became more and more afraid of losing it…

At times like this, when the castle seemed so safe and so peaceful, it was difficult to grip the fact that a war was raging outside of it. Even more difficult to grip was the fact that Harry had a major part in it; he could ultimately turn out to be the deciding factor of which side came out victorious. His friends complained about their homework, parents, and professors, but that was nothing compared to the stress Harry was facing. For the first time in a long while, the realization struck that life was no longer a simple matter of what to do and how to do it; life was now a privilege that he had to struggle to keep. An odd feeling it was, to know that every day could be his last.

Harry came to turn a corner; he was drawing nearer to the Gryffindor Common room. His mind was set on the new books he'd bought in Diagon Alley, especially the one for Magic on the Offense. Little did he know, however, that his plans were about to be foiled.

"Harry?" His name was called out by a gentle voice. It was Dumbledore; he was standing at the end of the hallway, frowning.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Professor Snape?" Dumbledore asked, slowly and deliberately approaching.

Wonderful. And he had been so happy to be off to Gryffindor tower, with all the free time in the world. It was though Dumbledore had been waiting for him; why did he have to know everything?

"Er-," Harry said, searching his mind for an excuse, and groaning inwardly at his lack of inspiration.

Dumbledore considered him for a moment, disappointment lurking in his expression and concern evident in his eyes. "Harry," he started, closing the gap between them, "Do you remember the conversation we had at number 12?"

"Yes," Harry replied, looking at his feet. What could he do now? Dumbledore was going to question him, and unless he told him about what happened with Snape, it was going to seem as though he'd abandoned his promise to try harder in Occlumency. But if he did relinquish the story, Snape was going to be furious with him.

"Why aren't you where I asked you to be?" Dumbledore asked, surveying him with the same disenchanted expression on his aged face.

"Well, I did go," Harry said, trying to sound casual about it. "But Professor Snape said he had other work to attend to, and I didn't want to keep him, so I thought I could just use this time to work on the rest of my essays."

Harry's flippancy didn't have the effect he'd hoped for; Dumbledore wasn't fooled.

"He did?" Dumbledore asked disbelievingly. "He told you to leave?"

"Yeah," Harry said dismissively, "But it's alright, I really have to do that homework—"

"No, it's not alright," Dumbledore said abruptly. He looked off to the side, quiet for a moment. He looked completely incensed, and it seemed as though he was deciding exactly what to do. After he seemed to have made up his mind, he turned to Harry again. "I want you to come with me."

Harry looked as though he was going to object, but he never got the chance to. Dumbledore turned and headed towards the dungeons, and Harry had no other choice except to follow.

He dragged his feet at a short distance behind the Headmaster, dreading Snape's reaction to when they arrived. What would he say? What would he do? Obviously, he was in no position to refuse to give Harry the lessons, but Harry was sure that he would make him pay for bringing Dumbledore into it.

Before long, Dumbledore was standing in front of Snape's office door, raptly knocking on it.

"Severus," Dumbledore said, still knocking. "I demand that you open this door at once. I know you're in there, and if I have to force the door open-"

There was a loud clang from the inside, followed by a pained curse. They could hear someone moving around within the room, and Dumbledore stopped knocking and stood back, waiting for Snape to come to the door.

There was a short silence; Harry waited with his breath held for whatever was to come. After a moment, the door opened, and Snape was standing there, a dark glower on his sallow face.

"Is there some sort of life-threatening problem, headmaster?" Severus said softly, keeping his tone under control, but doing nothing to withhold his contemptuous sneer. "Or have you finally come up with another lie to-," He stopped speaking abruptly, catching sight of Harry, and looked back to Dumbledore in question, eyes narrowed.

"I just discovered Harry roaming the halls," Dumbledore said in an even tone, surveying Severus with abated scrutiny. "Which surprised me, since I specifically requested that he be here, learning Occlumency. Perhaps you'd like to explain to me why he is not?"

Harry shrunk back slightly as Snape turned his glare towards him, his eyes spitting all the insults and accusations his lips could not. After a short moment, he looked away, erasing the enraged look from his face.

"You requested this?" Severus asked, in a voice expressing not but innocence.

"Yes, Severus, I did," Dumbledore said, looking at him warningly as if to say 'don't even try playing innocent'. And in fact, this was exactly what Dumbledore was thinking. He had come to know Severus very well over the years, and could tell from the look of his black, nearly emotionless eyes when he had slid on his mask of suppression. It hurt to see it now; Severus normally reserved this for those he could not trust at all. It was hard for Dumbledore to think that he had now been put into that category.

"Really?" Severus said silkily, raising his eyebrows. "I received no notice."

Dumbledore's face had not changed, but his azure eyes were blazing with such austerity as Severus had not seen in years. He held Snape in a piercing stare, furious at the lack of respect with which the man was facing him. Suddenly, he pushed past Snape and went straight into his office, heading towards the desk.

"What are you doing?" Severus questioned quickly, trying to conceal his apprehension, and following the headmaster inside.

Dumbledore didn't respond. He sifted through the papers on top of Snape's desk, and after a moment, pointedly held up a small piece of parchment between his thumb and his index finger. Severus looked from the parchment to Dumbledore, unsure how to react. It was the note he'd received this morning; he'd hoped that the old man wouldn't think to check for it.

"Don't lie to me, Severus," Dumbledore said deeply, power radiating from his voice. "You can hate me all you like, and you can hold everything I've done against me. But you will respect me, you will follow my orders, and you will not sit there and lie to my face."

Defiance flashed in Snape's eyes; everything about him looked dark and menacing, but he remained silent.

"Harry," Dumbledore called out, turning towards the hallway, where Harry still was. "Come in here, and close the door behind you."

Snape's eyes flew to Dumbledore, wide with panic. "Don't you dare!" He hissed in a voice barely above a whisper, shaking his head with as little motion possible.

Harry did as he was told, but with a sickened feeling growing inside. Both men looked absolutely enraged, and were the last two men's fury he wanted to be caught in the middle of, let alone the source of.

He took a seat in front of Snape's desk, trying to avoid both Professors' eyes. Dumbledore was still standing behind Snape's desk, and Snape was still positioned on the floor in front of it, standing closely behind Harry.

"I asked you to begin Occlumency lessons today, Severus," Dumbledore began, still holding the parchment. "If there was a conflict, you should have informed me of it, rather than waiting until Harry arrived and then turning him away. He should not be faced with the dilemma of which adult to listen to, and you should not be putting him in that situation. I should be able to feel confident that you will help him, not make things more difficult. Am I going to have to supervise every lesson between the two of you in order to make that happen?"

"I should think it would be quite clear," Severus replied smoothly, "That if I haven't spoken to you, you're at no liberty to decide when these lessons will take place. A simple note being sent to my office does not bind me to the duty of carrying them out, and you should be sharp enough to realize that unless I respond, I am not obligated to, and therefore won't, make time for them."

"They should be a priority, you don't make time for priorities, you make time for everything else," Dumbledore said, voice growing more and more threatening.

"The Order is my priority, but this boy is not!" Severus said, taking a few steps forward.

Harry would have been offended if it were not for the fact that this was Snape talking.

"If that's the truth, then I think you must have your priorities rather confused, Severus," Dumbledore countered, aiming a pointed glare at him.

There was silence. Harry longed to turn in his chair to see the look on Snape's face, but he dared not to.

"I think this is a conversation we should be having in private," Severus said in a voice clearly forced under control. "Potter really has no need to be a part of it."

"I disagree—"

"That's too bad," Severus said, moving towards the door. He jerked it open. "Potter leaves, or I do."

xxx End Chapter xxx