Chapter 25

Nightly Burdens and a Refusal`

xxx

"Shut the door behind you, Potter."

Harry entered and did as he was told; he stood silently and waited for Severus to clear a space for them to practice Occlumency.

The previous night had ended with a heartfelt apology from Lupin, having been convinced by Harry to give Severus another chance. It hadn't entirely surprised Severus, for he'd known full well at the time that there was no request Harry could make of Lupin that the man wouldn't fulfill. Still, he'd been somewhat amazed at the fact that Harry had only taken an hour to do so; it had taken exactly that amount of time since Severus had left the office for Lupin to find his way down to the Potions Master and confess his regret for jumping to rash assumptions. Severus scoffed at the thought.

What Severus couldn't bring himself to scoff at, however, was what he'd heard as he'd stood outside the door, listening in on the conversation being continued without him. He's the last chance I have at family, the boy had said. About Severus… he'd said this about Severus. Not for the first time, he was struck by the greatness of the responsibility he now held. He hoped he would be able to fulfill it.

"I thought," Severus said as he moved toward a tall black cabinet in the corner of the room, "that it might be best if we both used the pensieve prior to these lessons, from now on."

Harry privately thought that he very much liked this idea, considering there were all sorts of thoughts floating around his head that he'd rather Snape weren't privy to, but said, "I don't know how to use one of those."

"I am going to teach you," said Severus. "Here-" he set the pensieve out on a high table. "Dumbledore has lent me his for you to use. You'll need your wand."

Harry pulled his wand from his robes and stepped closer to the stone basin.

"Hold your wand to your temple, like so," said Severus, pointing his own wand at his head. "Concentrate very hard on the memory you wish to extract. You'll feel when its caught. Then, lift your wand slowly..." A silvery woven strand slipped from Snape's head, pulled by his ebony wand, "And place it in the pensieve." He placed it in his own, which was still on a shelf in the cabinet. He turned back to Harry. "You try."

Harry did as he was told, placing the tip of the wand on his temple. He closed his eyes tight in concentration and thought hard about his conversation with Lupin. After a short moment of thinking intensely about the event, he felt a slight tugging sensation at the side of his head. He opened his eyes and began to pull the wand away from his head; out of the corner of his eye, he could see a glimmer of silver as his wand siphoned the memory from his skull. He touched it to the surface of the liquid and it spiraled away gracefully.

He did this several more times while Severus did the same, and soon they were ready for the lesson to commence.

"I feel I should tell you that while you have become adept at clearing your mind, that will not be enough to keep the Dark Lord out should he wish to reawaken the connection between you two. You should begin to focus now on not only keeping me out of your memories, but on directing through your mind."

"And what does that mean, exactly?" asked Harry, wishing he didn't have to ask.

"Steer me towards memories you would want me to see, rather than simply blocking me out completely. It should exercise your mind in having greater control over what you reveal."

"I'll try," said Harry, but he felt apprehensive as Snape raised his wand.

"Legilimens!" was the next thing Harry heard, for he had been concentrating hard on closing his mind. At once, he felt the familiar pressure of having another presence inside of his head, but it was becoming easier to retain his own sense of consciousness while battling with an invading force. He tried to do as Snape had told him- he thought of benign memories and allowed them to float to the surface of his brain. The day he got Hedwig from the Magical Menagerie; Ron and Hermione in the library, bent over their schoolbooks; taking his O.W.L. exams, tapping a quill against his lip as he searched for answers to write in his essay.

But then, it was as though he had stumbled into a room he hadn't meant to, and the door had locked behind him. He was falling asleep during his History of Magic, and then he felt the familiar burn of his scar, and saw Sirius writhing on the floor of the Department of Mysteries. He heard Voldemort's high pitched voice saying, give me the prophecy- he was shouting- shouting Sirius' name, but he wasn't responding- he wanted out of this memory, but he felt trapped, tethered by an invisible force- unable to look away, unable to shut out that voice, that voice which was so cold-

Suddenly, he felt strong hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him up, up and out of the memory. When he opened his eyes, he was standing in the office again and Snape had him firmly by the arms; dark eyes, full of concern, were searching his face. Harry came back to himself, shaking his head and blinking rapidly as though to readjust his eyes to the room around him, and Severus released his hold on him.

"Are you quite alright?" Snape intoned, looking at Harry as though he were afraid he might relapse at any moment.

Harry looked down at his hands and saw that he was shaking, slightly. Resolutely, he held his chin up and balled his hands into fists, which he stuffed into his pockets. "I'm fine," he lied. And even though it was the last thing he wanted, he asked, "Should we try again?"

The truth was that even with all that had happened between Snape and him over the past several weeks, this man was still the last person he wanted to talk about Sirius with. If there was anyone who couldn't understand what he was feeling about his Godfather, it would have to be Snape; the animosity between them had been too great.

But Severus, for his part, wasn't fooled by Harry's show of aplomb. "I think, perhaps, we should end here for today," said Severus, and Harry felt a rush of relief. At the same time as he felt relieved, however, he felt somehow stuck to his place on the floor.

"Perhaps," he said, "I could just sit for a moment-" and Severus guided him over to the chair in front of his desk. He took a seat on the other side of it and evaluated Harry for a moment.

"Why don't you stay, for awhile? I've got some papers to be getting on with, at any cost."

Harry felt instantly divided; he wasn't ready to face his friends, who would surely be able to tell that he wasn't quite himself, but he wasn't ready to talk either. But Snape, it seemed, wasn't interested in forcing conversation, as he quietly went to work on the pile of parchment on his desk. Harry felt quite thankful, in that moment, that Snape wasn't the sort to want to talk about his feelings. He seemed to understand, without Harry having said it, that there were some things he wished to keep private.

After some time had passed and the memory seemed to fade back to its rightful compartment in Harry's brain, squared tightly away, Harry's thoughts returned to Lupin. "Did Remus come to see you, last night?" Harry said as he sat in front of Severus' desk, remembering suddenly Lupin's promise to make amends for his sake.

Severus nodded, his eyes still skimming the paper in front of him, though he murmured an indistinct affirmation, marking something off in red. "Would you like an award for your role as peacemaker?"

Harry's ears flushed, but he said simply, "That wasn't my purpose in bringing it up."

"I'm certain it wasn't," Severus said dismissively, continuing to grade papers.

Harry opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it and slumped down into his seat as an alternative. "Would it kill you to be nice once in a while?" Harry grumbled, fiddling with a loose string on the sleeve of his robe. Severus didn't respond. "Or a simple thanks would do."

The two sat in silence for a long while, Severus grading papers, and Harry becoming frustrated by the same piece of protruding thread on his sleeve. Neither spoke, but it was a comfortable silence. Understanding lingered in the air- both had their grievances with one another, but at the same time, both knew they were now on good terms. Severus still wasn't playing the father to Harry, but that seemed alright for the time being. They were learning how to be civil. And unbeknownst to Harry, Severus was learning to enjoy his company… in fact, at many intervals, Severus was reminded distinctly of Lily. It was refreshing, in all truth.

Finally, Harry sat up and pulled his bag onto his lap, getting prepared to leave. "I'm supposed to meet Ron and Hermione before dinner. Got a D.A. session to run."

Severus' eyes flickered up to Harry at this, a small crease knitting between his brows. "Are you finding Moody to be a substandard teacher? Because if you are, I will go straight to Dumbledore-"

"No, no," Harry said in a rush, putting up his hands. "It just seems to... make everyone feel a bit more comfortable, is all. With everything that's happening."

Severus considered him for a moment, then nodded curtly, accepting his answer.

"Well, bye then," said Harry, turning and heading for the door.

There was a short hesitation, but just as Harry was reaching for the door handle, Severus called, "And Harry? Thank you." It was a little late, by Harry's standards, but it had made him smile nevertheless.

xxx

Harry paced three times in front of the door to the Room of Requirement. It seemed almost useless, keeping the D.A. in session now, when Umbridge was gone and they had a perfectly capable, no matter how crazy, Defense teacher to guide them during class time. However, Harry couldn't shake the feeling that some students would feel it still necessary, and in part, he agreed. He found it vaguely unsettling that dark activity in the Wizarding world was so seldom being reported… it meant that Voldemort was planning something. It meant that he was waiting, for some sign, some event, some opportunity… Harry could only wonder at what it was. He could only hope dearly that another attack wasn't coming any time soon.

Harry placed his hand on the cold, metal doorknob, and gave it a twist. The door swung open, and he found himself facing the ever familiar Defense room, fully equipped with books, cushions, and a wide open space to practice in. He set his books down on one of the shelves and began exploring the other texts, thinking of topics for this year's lessons.

"I see you're here already," Harry heard Hermione say as she came in behind him. He turned and smiled in greeting. She returned it, placing her bag next to his items on the shelf. "Find anything interesting?" She asked, sitting next to him and peering over at the book in his lap.

"Not so far," Harry admitted reluctantly, closing the book and reaching for another.

Hermione watched him for a moment, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Harry," she said tentatively, and he knew she was approaching a topic which she deemed sensitive. "How are you doing?"

The ever vague question. 'How are you doing'… he hated when people asked that. It was so unspecific, left so much room for misunderstanding. He shrugged.

"I don't mean to pry," she said quietly, touching his shoulder. "You just seem… a bit off, that's all. And after what happened last year…"

"I'm fine," Harry said shortly, standing up and placing the second book he'd grabbed back on the shelf. He had dreaded, all summer, these sorts of talks during the school year. He'd known that his friends would want him to talk about Sirius' death, and it had been more than he cared to share with anyone, at least for the time being. Now, with his new relationship to Severus fresh in his mind, he felt more sensitive than ever discussing any emotional issues, especially where 'family' was involved.

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, Hermione, I'm sure," Harry insisted through clenched teeth. Hermione visibly flinched at his tone, and he instantly regretted snapping at her, but neither said another word as several more students filed into the room. Harry and Hermione looked at one another for a moment more, and with a thoughtful grimace, Hermione turned to greet the other students. Harry shook his head and went back to flipping through books.

The last two students to enter the room were Ron and Dean, both of whom were laughing obnoxiously. For a reason Harry couldn't quite put his finger on, this was far more irritating to him in this moment than it normally would have been; he suspected Hermione's incessant prodding for information had left him in a more petulant mood than he'd entered the room with.

"Could everyone please quiet down?" Harry called over the room, surveying the students. There were several newcomers- most were first and second years, sitting quietly in the back corner of the room. However, they were the only people who seemed capable of being quiet at the moment, as the room was still buzzing with noise and the gentle murmur of conversation. Harry looked around impatiently, and shouted again, "Everyone! Sit down and-"

A sharp noise pierced the air, and Harry looked around in surprise. Ginny Weasley was standing behind him, the same whistle he'd used the previous year dangling from her lips. She reached up and pulled it from her mouth, stepping forward and looking around the room darkly.

"You heard him," she said to the now silent room. "Keep quiet." She raised her eyebrows and looked challengingly at a few surly looking fourth years, but they said nothing. "Good. Back to what you were saying, Harry?" she prompted, stepping forward and taking her seat amongst the other students.

Harry looked at her for a moment, and then nodded. "Right," he said, still a bit stunned. "Thank you for that." Ginny nodded, satisfied. "As I was about to say, this is, for most of us, the second year of DA." He stopped, deciding whether to say it was Dumbledore's Army, or Defense Association… he settled for omitting that small detail. "For those of you who are new, you should know now that this is a group for the serious defense student. If you don't want to learn, then don't waste my time."

Hermione looked over at him, eyes widened slightly, but said nothing. Ron raised his eyebrows and looked off to the side, exchanging glances with Dean. Harry saw this, and gave them a dark look… The first years in the back corner now looked quite frightened, and one little boy was visibly shaking, which Harry didn't notice until he'd turned back to the group before him.

"Not to give you the idea that you're not wanted here," Harry amended quickly as he righted his expression, seeing the dramatic effect his simple words had had on them. He'd forgotten how easily first years scared. "I'm more than pleased to help you. I just hope you're here for the right reasons, is all." He cleared his throat nervously, and then continued with the lecture.

The small children relaxed a little as the lesson wore on, but nothing Harry did quite erased the look of fearful nervousness from their eyes. By the time he released everyone, he was growing quite annoyed with everyone's deliberately tactful responses to him, and the way all the younger students were avoiding his gaze, as though he were a basilisk and they might drop dead at first glance.

"Blimey, Harry," Seamus said, pausing with Dean halfway to the door as the last of the younger students left. "What's got you so worked up today?"

Harry turned to face him, more annoyed than seemed warranted to the comment, but Ginny placed a hand on his shoulder from behind, shaking her head firmly as he looked at her.

"He's just had a rough day," Hermione quickly supplied, standing at Ginny's side.

"Yeah, Remedial Potions," Ron said from somewhere in the back.

Seamus's brow crinkled, and Dean started to say, "But isn't Harry in-"

"Yes," Hermione and Ginny said in unison, moving towards them and pushing them out the door.

"Don't ask about it," Hermione said.

"It's far too complicated to explain," Ginny added, and then shut the door in the faces of the two Gryffindor boys. She turned to Harry. "Remedial Potions?" she asked.

Harry couldn't help but laugh. He found it funny that she had gone along with their explanation, despite her own confusion about it. "Occlumency lessons," he said. "I was only supposed to tell Ron and Hermione last year- Professor Snape has been teaching me Occlumency for the past year now."

"Oh," Ginny said, taken aback. "Has he really?"

"No, we're lying, Ginny," Ron said as he brushed past them, heading for the door.

"Shut up, Ron," Ginny said as they all followed him out into the hallway. "I'm just… surprised, is all. I thought you hated him."

"Well, I certainly didn't choose to have him teach me," Harry said defensively, though he wasn't sure what he was defending.

"Well, of course not," Ginny said, laughing self-consciously. "I'm just surprised you're not more… resentful of the fact, is all."

Harry shrugged, hoping to dismiss the topic.

xxx

It had been months since Harry had been burdened with a vision involving Voldemort or any of his activities. He'd enjoyed that small luxury; though it was one every other person had been afforded throughout his or her lifetime, he counted himself lucky to have his mind as his own for even a short while.

If only the trend were able to continue.

There was running, screaming, the howling and whistling of spells and hexes flying every way… there was a great explosion, illuminating the dark sky in a plume of bright white and red fire, enveloping the small town from the rest of the world, sealing and marking it with the symbol of the Dark Mark… there was to be no doubt to whom this job belonged. It was the work of the Dark Lord Voldemort, and the world would know that he was back with no less power than he'd left with. The world would recognize his new, prevailing supremacy with a sense of formidability it hadn't felt since his first reign.

"It's a beautiful thing, death," Voldemort uttered softly, with sadistic pleasure contorting his already grotesquely inhuman face. "More beautiful is the grief it causes… they will know, Wormtail… they will know."

He walked the streets of the tiny wizard town as though nothing were out of the ordinary- as though the shrieks and cries of small children clinging to their dead mothers' bodies were an everyday apparition. And to this man, they were. He regularly saw the devastated, nearly phantasmal villages he'd destroyed, charred corpses crumpled in black heaps, lining the streets... The image was only haunting to the virgin eyes of those whose minds were not tainted with the visions of such evil- who had no concept of the dismissal of human lives as though they were recyclable, easily tossed and indifferently shattered…

Harry Potter's mind was that of innocence. He'd seen horror, oh yes…but mass murder, with such horrible, gruesome… he screamed. He screamed and he shouted and he could feel tears rolling down his face. He hoped someone would find them… he wanted someone to come, to help, to stop this- to save the little boy being-

"Harry! Harry!"

He was being shaken.

"Harry, wake up!" He was coming back to reality. "Neville, go fetch Dumbledore, and get Hermione on your way-"

"Ron!" Harry gasped. He was cold, clammy, shivering… he felt a bit as though he might retch. He struggled to sit upright, still panting heavily, ready to spring out of bed and into action- but his friend pushed him back. He struggled, but Ron held him firmly.

"Ron, you have to let me-"

"Harry," Ron said as calmly as possible, though the quaver in his voice was all but undetectable. He had seen Harry shaken up enough times to know that he became rash, impulsive, and unpredictable in these moments, and it had him a bit worried. "You are at Hogwarts, in Gryffindor tower."

"I know," Harry said, frustrated at having the obvious pointed out to him. "But I need-"

"Who would you like me to bring?" a female's voice came from behind Ron, and Harry looked behind him to see Hermione standing there, pale as a ghost, wringing her robes in her hands, and Ginny, clutching Hermione's elbow and staring wide-eyed at Harry.

Harry was far too shaky and disoriented to take his friends reactions to heart. "Severus," he breathed. "Bring Severus."

Ron was staring at him like he had a fatal disease for which there was no cure. "He's delusional," he said to Hermione. "He can't want-"

"Let's just get him, Hermione," Ginny said in a scared voice, still staring at Harry. "I'll go with you. Let's just get him."

"Look," Ron said. "I've already sent Neville off for Dumbledore-"

But Hermione and Ginny weren't listening. They'd already dashed out the door.

It was late at night, and the two girls couldn't quite say they were pleased to be standing in front of Snape's door. The hallway around them was dark and cold, and they stood there, barefooted and shivering in their dressing robes. But their attention was focused on the fact that Harry needed them to do this right now, and they weren't backing down from the task.

Snape opened the door slowly, peering out into the dark. He looked down and saw the two standing there, and a dark frown flickered over his face. He opened the door wider.

"Can I help you?" he said in a low, sneering voice.

"It- it's Harry," Ginny said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"He's asking for you," Hermione provided, hoping this would mean something to the man standing there. She felt foolish, embarrassed, awkward, to be saying such things and having him looking back at her in contempt.

Snape looked them over quickly, as though evaluating the truth of their story, and then brusquely stepped out into the hallway, forcing them to move, and shutting the door behind him.

"He is in Gryffindor tower?" He called over his shoulder.

"Yes, sir," Hermione said as she and Ginny rushed to keep up with him. She and the redhead exchanged confused glances.

"What is it that's happened?"

"We're not entirely sure, sir, but he seems rather shaken…"

Snape gave her an odd look as he looked back at them, his eyes narrowed.

"That is to say," Ginny hurriedly said, "we were woken by Lavender, who was told to by Neville, so we can't be positive what went on… but from the looks of things, he had another nightmare…"

Snape stopped abruptly and opened his mouth, but seemed to change his mind the next instant. He resumed walking at an even quicker pace, almost hurrying to Gryffindor tower.

The Potions Master looked rather out of place as he stepped into Gryffindor tower, roughly shoving aside several of the boys as he moved to Harry's bedside. His eyes swept over Harry's trembling form, and an unfamiliar mix of emotions came over him. It calmed him to see the boy, all in one piece and wholly present… and yet he felt his concern reach its peak as he observed the small details of a moistened, pale face, and shaking hands.

He turned to Ron, who was scrutinizing him very closely. "What happened?" He asked, hoping to sound somewhere within the realm of his normal, disdainful self.

"He was screaming- having a fit in his sleep," Ron said, looking over at his friend. "We haven't been able to figure out what-"

"That's all I need to know, Weasley," Severus said, redirecting his attention back to Harry. "Well, get up, Potter. I suppose we'll have to see the headmaster about this. Come on."

Harry looked at him with a pained expression, but seemed to understand. He weakly pushed himself out of bed, stumbling a bit as he made his way across the room. Severus stopped shortly before they'd reached the door, and addressed the others in the room.

"Everyone here should go back to bed, and speak nothing of this to anyone. That includes the both of you, Miss Granger and Miss Weasley." He aimed a pointed glare at the few defiant faces staring back at him, and then turned and closed the door.

"Hurry up, Potter, I haven't all day- or night, rather."

But silently, a gesture undetected by anyone but the two there, Severus extended an arm to Harry, who gratefully took it, leaning on his father for support as he unsteadily continued down the stairs.

Dumbledore seemed to have anticipated their coming, because he met them at the stairs leading to the corridor outside of Severus' quarters.

"Severus, Harry," Dumbledore breathed with relief as the two approached. "I hoped- never mind that, Severus, let's get him to your rooms."

Severus gave him a nod, refraining from snarkily suggesting that he had actually been thinking about going for a stroll down to the lake.

Harry walked shakily along, but he felt at least now, with Dumbledore and Snape there, he was safe. They reached Snape's quarters shortly, and once inside, Snape led him to the couch.

"Wait here," Severus said. Dumbledore sat next to him as he propped himself up on a pillow. "I'll get you some tea."

Harry raised his eyebrows in slight surprise at the offer, but said nothing. Dumbledore smiled to himself and patted Harry's knee lightly.

Severus returned shortly, tea in hand, as promised. He handed it to Harry with caution, then aimed his wand at the chair across the room, and with a flick, it slid over to him.

"Now, can you describe to us what you saw?" Dumbledore inquired gently.

Harry lowered his cup of tea, staring broodingly into it. "It wasn't anyone I know... a small village, mostly Wizard, I think. He said, "they will know". What does that mean?"

"Your guess is likely as good as ours, Harry," Dumbledore responded thoughtfully, "But I would say he meant this to send a message... this might be, perhaps, why he chose to show you. Severus," he then said, turning to the Potions Master, "How have your Occlumency lessons been progressing?"

"Harry has been steadily improving, Headmaster," said Snape, looking at Harry curiously. "But perhaps, today- perhaps he became more aware of you today, Harry; you experienced a powerful surge of emotion, earlier, in viewing a memory connected with him. He perhaps has been waiting to find a way through your defenses."

"So the Occlumency lessons might've caused this, is what you're saying?" Harry asked.

"Perhaps today, but you are growing stronger overall," Snape assured him. "They've been less and less frequent for some time, haven't they?"

"Yes, but I'd rather not have them at all, if it's all the same to you," said Harry resentfully. He tried not to notice when Snape and Dumbledore exchanged knowing glances with one another. "Listen, aren't you going to do anything about this?"

"We will alert the Auror's office; they might be able to find survivors. Severus, perhaps Harry should rest here for the rest of the night, in case he experiences another vision."

"Indeed," said Severus. "Come, Harry, you can sleep in my bedroom."

Harry wanted to object; he felt as though he were being put to bed like a small child. Would Snape tuck him in, too, he wondered bitterly? Yet, he said nothing, for he had a strong suspicion that Dumbledore had made the suggestion for the sake of getting Snape alone, and Harry very much wanted to hear what he had to say when he thought Harry was not listening.

When the door closed after Snape, it stayed quiet for a long time. Harry lay in bed, listening hard, hoping to hear something- anything at all- of what they were saying. When he was sure they wouldn't come back into the room, he quietly slipped out of bed and padded over to the door, pressing his ear to the space between the floor and the door. He could hear them talking quietly.

"...You should have known something like this was coming..." Dumbledore's voice was saying.

"I can hardly pick and choose what the Dark Lord chooses to impart to me," Snape snarled in return.

"I understand, Severus, but do you not find it significant that he's begun to trust you with so little information? Perhaps the point has come where you are doing more harm than-"

"Harm?" Snape snapped. "How have I caused any harm?"

There was a short pause. Harry could imagine Dumbledore was taking a long, steadying breath. "You're going to do Harry harm, if something happens to you."

"Harry will understand that I have a job to do. And what would he think of me if I were to give up my position simply to save my own skin? I won't be seen as a coward, Albus."

"I very much doubt he thinks of you that way," Dumbledore said admonishingly.

"Well, then enlighten me. How does he think of me?"

"You already know- you're his last chance for family," Dumbledore said quietly. Severus didn't respond. "Don't you see the way he looks at you, when you do something unexpectedly kind? I believe he's becoming hopeful for the future. Do you realize how long it has been since that boy has had any hope, Severus?"

"There won't be a future if we don't do everything in our power-"

"There won't be a future if he doesn't have someone to keep him going," Dumbledore said, fiercely.

"Why does it always come back to this?" Severus hissed.

Harry pressed himself even closer to the door in an effort to hear Snape's low tones, placing his hand on the door knob for support. Pressing his ear against the door, he heard Severus speaking ardently to the Headmaster.

"I'm not giving it up. You can't force me to-"

As Harry quickly learned, he would have been better off staying in bed. As he pressed himself so close to the door he might have become molded to it, he unintentionally turned the door knob and spilled into the next room abruptly. Severus and Dumbledore turned swiftly to stare at him as he steadied on his feet and looked at the two of them bashfully, his cheeks tinged with red.

"Were you- listening in on us?" Severus asked accusatorily.

Harry hesitated to answer. Snape looked so very threatening now, standing with his dark eyes glittering and black hair falling into his face, shadowing his features.

"I- well- that's besides the point!" said Harry at once, drawing himself up to stand. "Professor Dumbledore's right- why do you keep going back?"

Severus crossed his arms and sent a glare of annoyance in Dumbledore's direction.

"Oh, now look what you've done," he said. "No doubt you planned this, meddling old fool..."

"Because," Dumbledore said to Harry, ignoring Snape's commentary, "he feels that he's doing us more good risking his life than he is in saving it."

"Don't you understand? There is no one else to do what I do!" Severus exclaimed defensively, his intense eyes turned on Dumbledore once again. "We need to know what the Dark Lord is planning, and I am the only one who can provide any insight-"

"Severus, I tell you, he is losing confidence in you, and it would be safer to withdraw now and remain at Hogwarts than it is for you to keep returning! You are on borrowed time!"

"He's right!" Harry said, stepping closer now. "What good is it if you-"

"It would be selfish," Severus said in a harsher voice, turning on Harry, "to do anything otherwise. You, of all people, should realize that!"

"Fine," Harry snapped. "Do what you want, I don't care. But don't expect me to wait around for you to die." Harry turned and headed for his room, not caring what else Snape had to say. He was tired, and he'd already been through a lot. All he wanted was some peace, some time to himself.

"I never promised you perfection," Severus called after him. "I'm sorry if my work is inconvenient for you, but-"

Harry rounded on him, abandoning his pursuit of solitude. "I never asked for perfection!" he yelled, using his best effort to keep his voice from cracking. "I'm just saying, you might want to stick round long enough to know me- but you just don't care! Would it kill you to put in some effort? I don't know why you didn't just tell me I was wasting my time in the first place."

"Effort?" questioned Snape with a raised brow. "I've given you nothing but effort, but I suppose it couldn't be good enough for someone like you, Potter-"

"Someone like me? Oh, because I have had such a privileged life. You want to know how I grew up? Until my letter to Hogwarts came, do you know that I lived in a cupboard under the stairs, while my cousin had twobedrooms? Do you know how much they hated- still hate- me? Do you honestly think anything anyone gives me is ever a letdown after all that? I'm not asking for the world on a silver platter here. I'm just asking you to stick around- that's all!"

Severus looked at him for a moment, his expression wavering. Then, running a hand over his face, he sighed. "I never knew the extent of all that happened, but yes, after your fifth year, I had an idea."

"But you still hated me. You thought I was some spoiled, famous-"

"No!" Severus said, eyes widened threateningly. "That was never the reason I disliked you, and you should know that by now. I may have used it as an excuse, yes, but did you not notice a regression in my spite towards you for a short while after I'd learned how wrong that theory was?"

Harry frowned at him, shifting his eyes to the floor as he mumbled a grudging, "No."

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "Surprise, surprise," he said flatly.

"Oh, as though you ever noticed when I tried to be respectful towards you? Don't act like you're better- you've held a grudge against me just as much as-"

"My behavior is not the one that needs to be evaluated!"

"You can't be serious! You've been ten times wor-"

"I am the adult! You forget your place, Harry! You are the child, and what you have to say about me doesn't-"

"I think that will be quite enough!" Dumbledore's voice succeeded in causing Harry and Snape to cease their argument and turn their attention to him at once, seemingly remembering suddenly that they were not alone in the room. "Thank you," Dumbledore said once they had quieted, quite serenely. "I think it would be a good idea for you both to take a seat."

Snape at Harry glanced at one another, then sat, both looking like scolded children.

"Well, this has been quite revealing," Dumbledore said then, looking from Snape to Harry and back again. "And I daresay, you both have raised valid points. I think you can both agree that you have an extensive past of acting on assumption in regards to your treatment of one another. I have, of course, promised you that I would interfere no more, and I will adhere to that promise, except to say this. If you look, you will both find fault in one another quite easily. You have a long history that guarantees this. However, I would also say that if you look a bit harder, you might find it quite rewarding to instead find the good in one another, and perhaps move forward with this relationship."

"Sir?" Harry said questioningly.

"In short, you both would do well to stop being so hard headed, open up your ears, and listen to each other. How else are you supposed to understand one another? How else can you learn to be father and son?"

Dumbledore looked at them both for a moment, before standing and picking up his cloak.

"I will take my leave of you now. It seems that you have quite enough to be getting on with without my adding more to the confusion. Good night."

And with that, Dumbledore left the two in uncomfortable silence.

xxx End Chapter xxx