|
Membership status: Administrator
Reviews by Jan_AQ
Severus Snape has tried to get custody of his Son Harry for the last 3 and a half years. This is what happens when the Ministry offers a compromise.
Just so you know Voldemort is dead and will be staying that way. This story is SLASH (James Potter/Severus Snape, NOT a Mpreg... Lily carried Harry for them there will be an explination flash back at some point) Takes Place: 0 - Pre Hogwarts (before Harry is 11) - Snape flavour: None Tags: Alternate Universe, Child fic, Slytherin!Harry, Snape-meets-Dursleys, SuperPower! Harry Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Rated: 16+
-
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Romance/Slash
Chapters: 9 - Completed: No - Updated: 24 Jan 2006 / 19 Feb 2005 Series: None - Challenges: None
A story idea that popped out during a bout with insomnia. Harry Potter has had a difficult life, more than anyone knows. What happens when Severus Snape finds out Harry's mind has fractured into multiple personalities under the strain?
Takes Place: 6th summer - Snape flavour: None Tags: Slytherin!Harry Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Rated: T
-
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 18 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 06 Aug 2005 / 18 Mar 2005 Series: None - Challenges: None
For a nitpicking detail, you missed a u in this line: "He hated it, it scared him and left him feeling helpless and Harry would even suffer working with Severs Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts and Greasy Git extraordinaire, if it meant getting rid of them." I LOVE the scene where Snape first meets Tom. The second time around it's even better. You ended the chapter on a really good spot. I guess I'll end on something I said before, that it might look better if you made the written parts italics. :) Author's Response: Thanks for the correction, I never catch stuff like that. And it's good to know that this is even better the second time around ;)
When Harry switched after Ron mentioned Sirius, I was a little confused as to who he switched to as because it seemed like he switched to himself, Harry. Haha I loved how Snape first thought of the situation and that he couldn't explain to Harry what was going on but then went "If he wasn’t faking. Which he was. That’s what Potters did.". That was a great line. I love how Harry/Tom came to Snape's office demanding that Snape take the amulet off. I had to assume that there was something that made it so that Harry couldn't. I love the "What say you." line Snape said when he compromised about seeing the nurse. That was very in character, very older British sounding and not many authors do stuff like that. And it was cute when Foster said he wanted a pudding. :) I loved how Snape walked Tom to the hospital, how he stategically walked behind him to make sure he didn't walk away. I liked how Snape had Poppy take a break to talk to Tom- that he noticed that tom wasn't holding up well and the switch to Danny. The introduction of that side was done really well- great past refrences tied in smoothly. They really added to the quality of the chapter. It was interesting that you capitalized 'Flying', that give a title to it and shows that Snape recognizes that it is something meaningful to Harry. Did you do it on purpose? I loved how when Harry came back at the end that he looked at his watch and then made up an excuse and Snape's reaction to that. I'm glad that you told this part from Snape's POV. Last nitpicking thing: You forgot the ending quotation mark on “Sorry, sir. I didn’t realize it was after curfew, I was just going for a walk. This chapter and your writing is very flowing and it really moves- I get easily sucked into it which isn't something that all, maybe not even most authors can do. I'm really enjoying this story. Thanks for posting it here! Author's Response: Hmmm, I see what you mean about the 'We' stuff. And I would be deeply in your debt if you would fix my italics. Again, thanks for the little correction with the quotes, I've fixed both those problems on the main file now. Ta! Harry is a 12 year old Orphan about to meet his birth father for the first time. Song fic, Majorly AU. No Voldie, Dumbles, ect. (Sev doesn't work at Hogwarts)
Takes Place: None - Snape flavour: None Tags: Alternate Universe Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Rated: K
-
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 18 May 2005 / 18 May 2005 Series: None - Challenges: None
Author's Response: *grin* Thank you!
Harry is injured by a fellow classmate
Takes Place: None - Snape flavour: None Tags: None Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Rated: K+
-
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 21 May 2005 / 21 May 2005 Series: None - Challenges: None
Author's Response: Holy Smokes! what a doozy of a review! I'm glad you liked the story. I like it too. I know that I should rewrite it, because the ending (rather the part where Harry is being tended to) to me feels off. Maybe when I have some time during the summer I'll rewrite a lot of things, hehe. Anyway, thanks for the feedback. :) After being abducted by a servant of Lord Voldemort, Harry begins to deteriorate both physically and mentally. Can he be saved?
Takes Place: None - Snape flavour: None Tags: None Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape
Rated: T
-
Warnings: Torture
Chapters: 11 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 13 Apr 2007 / 21 May 2005 Series: Slow Death and the Price of Service - Challenges: None
Author's Response: Second HP fic I ever wrote! I worked on that beginning part for weeks until I got it the way I wanted it! I'm glad that you liked it, because I actually put a lot of work into this one, hehe :) Harry gets into trouble with Snape, Harry pays the price and comes out better off. (The First HP fic I ever wrote!)
Takes Place: 6th summer - Snape flavour: None Tags: None Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Rated: K
-
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 12 Nov 2003 / 12 Nov 2003 Series: None - Challenges: None
Author's Response: Hi Jan! I appreciate your comments! (even though I may not respond to all of them... you always manage to get a smile out of me, hehe) About the twistiness. I think I know what you're talking about. Sometimes though when I'm writing I get this great idea in my brain (usually an evil idea, lol) and then I take notes on napkins or my notbook if I can. When I get home I try to type that stuff down so that it's true to the feelings that my idea gave me. A lot of the time I don't feel like I get it exactly the way that I wanted it to be in the beginning, but I have fun trying. Snape as a good villain, eh? I think he is just misread (true he does act like a bit of a jerk, but maybe that's because he wants respect.) maybe it was the way he was treated as a child that makes him such an angry adult. I dunno, but I like writing him. I think my Snape has mellowed alot in recent fics, but oh well. Thanks for commenting! :) Snape goes to the Dursley's to check on a young Potter. What he finds is something that even he can't ignore.
Takes Place: None - Snape flavour: None Tags: Child fic Categories: Parental Snape > Guardian Snape
Rated: T
-
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 7 - Completed: No - Updated: 08 Mar 2007 / 09 Jun 2005 Series: None - Challenges: None
I felt that leaving Harry in the cupboard for a few days would have worked out fine, and that the garden had gradually been neglected as the Dursley's were packing, but the decription of the house having stale air seems a little too much, too long. Do you think? About the cleaning liquids in the cupboard, do you think that the Dursley's might have wanted Harry to drink them? to die? O.O Like if the boy were left there for so long and was so thirsty... Anyways, I feel that there are some descriptions missing from when Snape dropped the boy on a clean hospital bed- like when I read that I was trying to look at Harry and see how he was reacting to all this and the state of him. We were told nothing. :\ When Harry thought about the lady looking at his hands, I thought that that was very in character for such a young child. Children that young have problems telling magic from reality and their logic's weird, so it makes perfect sense that the woman would be able to tell what bad he did with his hands. :\ Poor little boy. It seemed a little weird that Poppy didn't talk to him at first, reassure him, at it seemed a little out of character that she would be humming a cheerful tune when a filty, neglected and very dehydrated almost to death little boy was placed in her hospital, no matter what kind of wonderful vacation she's going to next. XD And Dumbledore- you've managed to get the meddling, git Dumbledore this time it seems- NICE. I can't wait to see what happens if Dumbledore tries to play the grandfather role with the little boy, but Snape knows how he really feels, doesn't care. *kicks him* Anyways, great first chapter! Nice depth and it's plenty different form the other ones out there. Thanks for posting! I'm giving you a seven. Snape reflects on the consequences of his choice of being branded a slave and of all that he gave up.
Takes Place: None - Snape flavour: None Tags: None Categories: Misc > All written in Snape's POV, Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Rated: K+
-
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 05 Nov 2005 / 23 Jun 2005 Series: None - Challenges: None
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. I was a bit nervous as this was my first fic in this fandom and I'm still trying to figure everything out - I don't know quite where the lines of cliche yet fall and I didn't want to write just another of the same. |
Powered by eFiction 3.5 |