Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Membership status: Member
My Pet: A newt - seriously
Penname:
Whitetail [Contact] Better be Gryffindor!
Call me: undisclosed (female) Member since: 14 Aug 2010
Beta? No
About me:

A few things about myself:    

   1) I am Canadian (cough ... and proud of it)

    2) I absolutely love the readers on this site, and hearing their thoughts/questions either by reviews or messaging makes me simply dance. 

   3) I have a pet newt. He is so old it's not even funny. Yeah, 14 yrs. Pet store said 3. Good thing I like him. 

   4) Lastly: I got into writing fanfiction here for two reasons.

           A) The first is that I love to write. And not only that, I wanted to learn to write.

           B) Potions and Snitches is a great place for learning.

     Thus - I've made a lot of mistakes writing, but because of how  awesome the reviewers are, I've learned from those mistakes and gotten better. The kindness of the readers has kept me coming back time and time again, and really helped me improve my writing. At this point I'm now working on an original novel, meaning fanfiction has taken a back seat. That was always the goal, and I hope one day to take my writing somewhere besides just the internet and my friends' bookshelves. 

     Well, that's all folks!

    - Whitetail

 

 P.S. I am on fanfiction.net, but my pen name is LittleWhitetail, rather than Whitetail. 

  Current Project: Jan 1st 2016 update - Writing is going quite well. Still taking a break from fanfiction. Not promising any new P&S stories, but it isn't impossible. My original novel is slow but progressing, and is into some of the final drafts. Had some success in the past year - got a short story published! If you'd like to read the story, check out Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Possible. The story is called "The Pivotal Moment". Also, on a fanfiction note, I still read reviews (but am slow to answer). Also, feel free to message me - questions, concerns, anything. I do love hearing from people here. Cheers! 

 

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Reviews by Whitetail

This is a Snapey parody of the Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe.

Takes Place: 6th Year - Snape flavour: Snape is Angry, Snape is Depressed
Tags: None
Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Rated: K - Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 02 Nov 2014 / 30 Oct 2014
Series: None - Challenges: Halloween
Title: Chapter 1: The Raven-Snapefied with Apologies to Poe 02 Nov 2014
Reviewer: Whitetail (Signed)
    This has made me. So. Happy. I can't even express how pleased I am. I have run out of words, thus: Quoth the reader, "nevermore."
    *Flees, cackling madly*

    Author's Response: Thanks for making me laugh, and thanks for the compliment. 

Sequel to A Christmas Gamble. After filling in for Father Christmas the previous year, one would think Severus and Harry would have a peaceful holiday, but all that went out the window when the two of them got talked into taking over the business. It seems like insanity, and it probably is, especially after the workshop burns down and they’re forced to try and find a way to sneak a hundred Christmas Elves into a makeshift workshop in Hogwarts. With twelve days until Christmas, and no time to waste to replace the lost gifts, it’s going to take one big distraction.
     Good thing Severus and Harry have a knack for pulling pranks.
     All the two can hope for is that burning down the workshop is the only black mark their names will get on the naughty list, because if the staff find out who is behind the pranks, Christmas will truly be ruined.

Takes Place: 2nd Year - Snape flavour: Snape is Kind
Tags: None
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Rated: K+ - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 7 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 25 Dec 2014 / 20 Dec 2014
Series: A Christmas Gamble - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 7: A Simple Miracle 23 Dec 2016
Reviewer: Whitetail (Signed)
    @etherian about my reply! That awkward moment when you get the name of your own freaking publication wrong. My short story is in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think POSSIBLE. Not positive. Awkwarrrrd.

Rated: K+ - Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Character Death, Neglect, Romance/Het
Chapters: 2 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 29 Mar 2015 / 21 Mar 2015
Series: None - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 1: A Thousand Photographs 30 Mar 2015
Reviewer: Whitetail (Signed)
    Ooh, I like this one. The second person works quite well, and I like how you've spun the idea of the photograph together from start to finish. I feel like this first chapter could be a one shot all itself. One little critique - some of the sentences do run on for quite a time and appear to go in a bit of a rush without much punctuation. While it may be a stylistic choice, it was a bit tough to make sense of in places. Other than that, I really like this chapter. I think it's one of the best second persons I've seen! Keep in mind that I would not give critiques unless I felt that the writer in question showed promise, as I definitely think you do!

Title: Chapter 2: What do we see 30 Mar 2015
Reviewer: Whitetail (Signed)
    I like the ideas in this one. The image of Snape as a big black owl in a tree is most certainly amusing! But again, a few critiques. I know it sucks getting them, but again, I think you show promise, and I always find as a writer feedback helps. :) So the number one thing that I think this chapter needs is work with the adjectives/adverbs. I love the images you create, and I can see where you're trying to go in a lot of places, but when reading I found myself getting lost in a sentence because there were too many descriptive words. Just as an example, here's a fragment so you know what I'm talking about: "... distinctly huffing, slightly older brats chase the distinctly stunted version ..." etc. The rule of thumb tends to be less is more when it comes to descriptive words (distinctly, huffing, slightly etc.) Another thing you can try is to make the sentences a little shorter, or throw in a few semi colons to break things up just for the sake of clarity, as run on sentences can sometimes create confusion.
    Other than that, keep writing, and thanks for posting! I hope my comments have been somewhat helpful. Keep thinking up those lovely images!! :)


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