Reviews For Where Once Was Light
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far, and sorry for the suspense. Personally, I like a lot of drama. But don't worry, I'll update really soon!
Author's Response: Thanks! And don't worry, I tend to update fast when I have ideas floating around everywhere.
Author's Response: Thank you!! And thanks for sticking with me for so long!lol
Again, only a few little things here in terms of typos. "Nodding numbly, Petunia stared at all of the belonging Lily had brought and listened intently..." THe word 'belonging' needs to be plural, especially since she brought multiple things (either way, it's belongings). After Petunia's and Lily's hug: "Picking up her heavily little boy, Petunia watched with worried..." Change to "heavy." Right after Snape tells Harry to "grow a brain for Merlin's sake!": "Ah. So that's why Harry had hated him so much. Funny that he had actually started to forget." This confused me a bit. Was "Harry" supposed to be "Snape" or am I just slightly mental right now, considering the sun is rising where I'm at and I have yet to sleep? Just confused on that sentence... Next paragraph: "'I could,' the man drawled. 'But then again, I think you owned me after all the times...'" The word "owned" should be "owed." When Harry says, "...Aunt Petunia put it away. I'm not exactly where their at." Since robes are pluralized, "it" should become "them," you are missing "sure" in the next sentence to make "...not exactly sure...," and "their" needs to be changed to "they're." They get into the kitchen: "..."Harry opened the door to the kitchen for the wizard and then pulled out a chair for him to sit it." It should be "in." Harry gives the water to Severus: "As expected, Petunia hit them under the stairs..." The word "hit" should be "hid." Petunia walks into the kitchen: "...nephew looking down at the tile floor silently, why the looming black presence of Severus sat in a chair." Change "why" to "while." Another one: "When Severus looked at her, just the barest hint of dislike on his sever features..." I believe you meant "severe" not "sever." Right after the smack, where you mention his temper being "at it's peak," the it's should not have an apostraphe, because it is not a contraction of "it is," but the possessive "its." Harry backs away from a fuming Snape, realizing he had never saw Snape so mad before, "Not even when Sirius had gotten way before the end of term." add an a on way for "away." Sorry, if this seems rather nit-picky, but I get annoyed when I myself make typos (there are probably a whole ton of them in this review!) and no one tells me, so I try to inform others when they are making some slight errors. And really, that's all you have going are slight errors. Which is great! So, if this gets annoying to you, let me know, and I will stop and only focus on plot devices and things like that for some criticism. But, I'm just trying to help out a fellow Slytherin.
Looking forward to more. So jealous of your writing speed. It's almost sickening how fast you update, but I get beyond excited every time, because you are doing a wonderful job fleshing out these characters. Keep up the good work!
No! I like your help!! I do actually get annoyed with little mistakes myself! And sometimes, like I said before, I just let my fingers go where they wanna go, so THANK YOU for helping this poor little beginning writer!
Now, about Snape and the stairs: I guess it didn't come out the way I had wanted it to becuase I was trying to have Snape still have his paranoia and that's actually why he was breathing so heavy when he had Harry got to the top of the stairs. True, he was tired, but it was his phobia that was getting in the way. So when Harry offered to help, he snapped at him, but the disgust on his face was more towards the fact that HE couldn't even go down the stairs and Harry picked up on it. His wanting to go first with several steps in between was because he thought he'd be out of Harry's reach and therefore couldn't get pushed down. Sorry, I should have explained that a bit better, and since I knew what I wanted to say, I assumed (incorrectly) that everyone would know what I wanted to say. So sorry about that.
But I'm uber thrilled that you're enjoying this so far!! It helps when everyone respondes in such a positive way!! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope I won't disappoint! Thanks again Slytherin buddy!! (I know, I can be very lame!)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! ^^ I always like it when you get to read about the past while it's the present at the time. (Does that make sense?) I always think it's less comfusing then when you have someone else explaining it. Glad you like it!!
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